The Webmaster, fabled "helper" from Bungie of old, has returned. Only a year between this episode and the last. Note to new Bungie.net readers: The Webmaster is a cantankerous, beer-addled misfit who wears a gorilla suit and expecting sensible, polite answers from him is akin to gouging out your own eyes with frozen carrots. If you are easily offended, or frankly, if you are difficult to offend, then you should consider leaving now. If you wish, for some bizarre reason to email him, then he can be contacted at: webmaster@bungie.com.

Dear Webmaster,

Just a question...Is there any way to view more elaborate stats for Halo 2? And when I say elaborate I mean kills, deaths, suicides, total medal count, etc. I know that they are already on our stat pages, but my question to you is -- Can we view an overall total of them without having to go through each individual game one by one? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks man...And you guys all keep up the good work. The game is freaking great, I don't care what anyone else says.
 
..::Gaddy::..

 

Dear Gaddy,

No there is not. The simple reason for this is that we occasionally have to purge stats from the website database, in order to prevent the accumulation of terabytes of pointless data, the vast majority of which concerns your inability to avoid being killed by level one players using twin plasma pistols.

 

 

Hey there!
 
A recent post on Bungie revealed that there is a Halo 2 Special showing on MTV over the next few nights. Im writing to ask whether it will be showing on UK televisions as I am from the UK and want to see it. :D
 
Thank you for your time and can you please reply ASAP.
 
Sam.

Dear Samwise,

I haven't the slightest idea. To be perfectly blunt, the goggle box you refer to makes you stupid. The last time I watched anything was on a 1949 model Bakelite RadioVision set, where a young Lucille Ball was wrestling some type of space-monster. I think it was a documentary. As for the status of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, I'm surprised you can put down your black pudding sandwiches and stop watching Eastenders for long enough to switch channels. Perhaps an email would be better sent to MTV? One thing is for certain, even if VJ Skinz replies, it will be more pleasant and informative than this missive.

 

 

Dear Webmaster,

Hello my name is Victor and i played halo 1 for a very long time. Halo 2 is the best game ive ever played but in the ranked games there is berly any Team Slayer games. ive played at least 70+ matchmaking games and have only seen team slayer twice. team slayer is the only reason i got this game and xbox live. and i have yet to play it in a minor clan match. i hope u can help me with this problem or email this to the person that can. Thank you.
 
Awsome website!

 

Dear Victor/Victoria,

Just for you, we have updated the playlists so that as from today, you will find more games of all varieties on the playlists. May I suggest, however, that you first invest in either personal hygiene or charisma-enhancement so that you can win friends, influence people and ultimately create your own games? Or perhaps the access to literally hundreds of thousands of like-minded individuals from all over the world at the press of a button simply isn't simple enough for you? Perhaps you would rather that friends were delivered to your house by truck?

 

 

Dear Webmaster,

I'd like to be able to pick a player from my friends list and 'ghost them' as a spectator- is this possible? will it be?
 
I'd also like to purchase a t-shirt with my customized logo and gamertag on it- will bungie facilitate my geek-request?
 
thanks

Darren

 

Dear Diggety-Darren,

You can cycle through players briefly while dead, and watch the one you wish to, but as for a follow or camera mode, no such luck. However, your T-Shirt idea is so enormously not stupid, that we had ourselves already considered something similar. Watch this space. And by this space, I mean some other space at an entirely different location. Nobody ever got rich watching this particular space.

 

Dear Webmaster,

Is there an e-mail address or forum where Halo 2 users with Xbox Live can suggest new content downloads, playlist types, etc.?
 
I think it would be really cool to have the multiplayer maps from the original Halo available as a content download from Xbox Live for Halo 2!
 
Jason

Argue Naught, Jason,

Yes, as a matter of fact, I myself accept suggestions, including, but not limited to where I should stick things. As for download suggestions, please mail any suggestions you have, along with cash or checks in the amount of $5,000 to:

Webmaster Enrichenation Scheme #2013
Bungie Towers
Redmond

Please note there is no guarantee your suggestion will be accepted, nor any guarantee that I will ever be seen again.

 

 

Dear Webmaster,

When can we expect Halo 2 for PC to come out?
Thanks  BILL

Hello Bill,

You can expect it now. But don't expect your expectations to be met. No announcements have been made at this time, which is usually code for, we don't know, we're not saying, or we don't have enough hard drive space.

 

Hey guys,

Halo 2 is awesome, no complaints from this player!

I was wondering is you were thinking about having the Hang’em High board from Halo available for download?

Thanks,

Chad Mays

 

Dear Chad,

How quaint. You call levels "boards" as if Zanzibar, for example, was a wave of aliens from Galaga. Well, "sheets" like Hang 'Em High would be fun as would a new "stage" like Webmasterville. No announcements have been made regarding downloadable content, but when it comes, you can be sure that I will be sitting on the datatube, laughing as the data gets backed up and causes a huge bubble to form near my posterior.

 

 

To whom it may concern:
 
Hello, my name is CENSORED, my XBL gamertag is CENSORED and my username on the forums is CENSORED and I feel I have been banned from the Bungie.net forums for no reason. If I did something to warrent the ban, then I'm sorry and I'll wait it out... but the thing is I don't know what I did. Shishka is the mod who banned me. I honestly have no clue as to why.

Dear CENSORED,

You were banned for something. Shishka is a harsh taskmaster and will accept no guff from anyone. You must have been dispensing guff somewhere along the line. I suggest the following post-banning safety measures: No racism, no politics, no noob-calling and no guff. For guff, see: Anything that Shishka don't like.

 

 

Hello Bungie. Could you tell me if the large bridge in the Metropolis level will become available on XBOX live for CTFor other multi-player games? Thanks
 
Allan

Allan,

You are a colossal poltroon and this kind of idiocy makes bile rise in my tract like a mint-green gelatinous elevator. This kind of half-assed home-grown game design ethic is what is wrong with America. People like you should… Oh. Wait. Actually, that IS a good idea. You could have a flag at each end, lots of vehicles, the curve of the bridge would act as a natural horizon and the debris would make excellent barriers. Sadly, I do not create these things and am far too lazy to forward your idea to anyone who does.

 

Dear Webmaster,

Hi im a huge fan of Halo and currently own both games and i have a question concerning copyrights. I was wondering if i can use some of the screenshots and wallpapers you  have available on the site as background images to "liven up" a powerpoint presentation my senior project. A presentation required by my high school to graduate. Ill put Bungie Studios down as a source at the end of it but i was just making sure i had permission from you guys to use the pics. Thank you for your time

Jake Jeffries.

Dear Jake,

Consider this one-time special dispensation to use our screenshots for the specific purpose you addressed. And since this letter doesn't demand an insult per se, here's a free one: You're a stupid powerpoint jerk.

 

 

Dear Webmaster,

Theres a growing problem with the people wo quit in the middle of a match.
like during team skirmish when your down in the first round they just up and leave. this is bad because it leaves your team with no chance to do anything but die. This problem is growing because people think they are getting away with something. Are there currently any steps to "disipline" people so they
wont leave? If so what is it? I do have an idea that i think would work
extremely well. Just give them a 20 min time out. no one would want that, or drop them down to a 2 rating. this problem is growing and is very very annoying.

Thanx
Roadblock83

 

Dear Roadblock,

First off, that's a great name. Good for a boy or a girl or better yet, an enormous club bouncer. Second of all, players who quit ARE punished. Their ranking is automatically degraded since they will finish the game as the lowest ranked player. Some geniuses out there actually believe that quitting will avoid penalizing their rank. They couldn't be more wrong.

What frustrates me is that MY plan to deal with quitters was ignored. I suggested that we staple their fingers to kittens and send them to spend the night at the local pitbull shelter. But does anyone ever listen to me? Of course not.

 

Dear Webmaster,

Bungie.net System Notice: You have sixty days from the time listed above to restore activity and membership to this group above the minimum thresholds, or this group will be deleted. This is your only warning.

Hi,
What are the minimum thresholds that I need to meet to keep my group?
Thanks,
Bradley

 

Dear Bradley,

All you need to do is have three people in your group. Seriously, two people hardly constitutes a group. Two people is a couple. Four people could theoretically be a gang I suppose. Personally, I always suspected that the minimum number for a bunch would be five. But I will concede that point to a strong argument. Any more than five is definitely a shindig waiting to happen.

 

 

 

Dear Webmaster,

hello there, my name's jamie mackie and I recently purchased halo 2
how do I change the co-op from the default vertical setting to horizontal, as seen in the in-game demo, I prefer this view to the vertical.

 

Dear Jaimie,

I see many things through the misty eyes of the seer. I see for example, that you have a widescreen TV and that your Xbox dashboard is set to widescreen. I see that if you disable the widescreen setting, you will default to a horizontal split. And I see that the remote for the stereo is under the couch. Your cat Sparkles pushed it there chasing a rolled up ball of tinfoil. He thought the tinfoil was a space-mouse. It wasn't. It was the inside wrapper of a German Toblerone. Your cousin wadded it up and left it on the coffee table last Thanksgiving.

 

 

Dear Webmaster,

no more websites I want those codes I DON'T want a WEBSITE GIVE me CODES for HALO 2
 
 
NO WEBSITES

 

Dear Lella,

There are no codes for Halo 2. You crazy, crazy bastard.

 

Dear Webmaster,

I am writing this to let everyone know that on the day after Thanksgiving my Halo X-box along with the Limited Edition Halo 2 and Halo 2 Head Piece and four controllers were stolen from out of the trunk of my car. If you could somehow let everyone know that anyone playing under the gamer tag Kismet Krimson is not only a liar but also a damn thief I'd appreciate it.

Thanks,
Pissed Off in Tallahassee

 

Dear pissed,

First off, does your lassie have a hi-fi chassis? I am curious about that. Secondly, Xbox Live users, make with the detecting! Thirdly, you really should contact Xbox Live about canceling that account and hopefully restarting another.

 

Dear Webmaster,

Your website sucks.....
 
It is a resource hog.....
 
Make it easier to use and faster to surf....
 
 
:-(

Richard Teal

 

Dear Richard,

Thanks for your insight. We shall endeavor to remove resource-hogging items like menus, features and stats right away. But I am curious – what browser are you using for the Vectrex?

 

Dear Webmaster,

i was doing the secret where you find the "scarab gun" or awsome plasma rifle that shoots like the scarab. i was exploring the huge city wen in a building i found a giant soccer ball. Is there any point to this?

Dear Kev,

Yes as a matter of fact there is. The point of soccer is to move the soccer ball, using either feet, head or other body parts (but specifically not the arms and hands) into the netted goal of the opposing team. Each team is composed of 11 players, one of whom is in charge of tending the goal. He alone may touch the ball with his hands. Each game lasts for 90 minutes with a brief intermission in the middle. The highest number of balls moved into the net, or "goals" determines the winner. The game is probably derived from a sport played throughout Europe in the middle ages, where opposing villages would kick or "foot" a leather bladder or "ball" from one side of town to the other. In medieval times, the rules were scant, thankfully much of the violence once present in the sport has been transferred to the NBA.

 

 

Dear Webmaster,

hello!
(sorry for my english :i m french)

on your site web i don't know how to see my stats at halo 2
it 's saying "gamertag not availlable" can you help me please???

my name on the live is nazgul87

thanks

 

Bonjour!

Don't worry about your English, it am plenty good be! I suspect that you have either failed to link your Gamertag, or you haven't signed up with Bungie.net yet. You can find out more about that sort of thing right here: Bungie.net Guide to Everything

 

 

 

Dear Webmaster,

the real way to spell it is FUNERAL PYRE. I wrote FENERAL PYRE. IT MUST BE
THE TURKEY AND ALL OF ITS TRIPTIPHAN. LOL SO BEG YOU TO CHANGE IT FOR ME.
THAT HAS BEEN MY HANDLE WITH XBOX LIVE FROM THE BEGINING. sorry about the caps. so please please please could you do this for me? i will be greatful, and if you ever need a game tested or something like that i would help you
anyway i can.. thank you brad nordhoff (FUNERAL PYRE).

 

Dear Funeral Pyre,

Many of our readers will have already guessed by now, that I have little or no idea what you're talking about.

 

 

 

Dear Sir,
 
       Do you know where i can get the little vidoes chips using halo 1 master cheif and a pistol. They talk to each  other moving their heads up and down and they say very funny stuff. They show them on TV before halo 2 came out and G4TV had them on tv on the halo 2 release date. Please help me.  If they are not shown anymore, can u burn cd of them.......If u can do that i would be very thrilled and it would make my day......    :)
 
 
                                                                                              Thanks,
                                                                                                     JOSH      

 

Dear Josh,

It would be our pleasure. You can view the little vidoes chips at www.redvsblue.com

 

 

 

Dear Webmaster,

Hi im Wade i looking foward to becoming a member of Bungie, but I have one question. Does it cost anything?

Cpirate2006

 

Dear cpirate,

It will only cost some self-respect and your soul. Actual cash value of Bungie membership is 0.0000001 pfennigs.

 

 

 

Dear Webmaster,

rumors are flying about bungie buying the rights to capcoms "Steel Battalion". any truth to it? thanks for your time
Mike Oxley

Dear Mike,

As soon as we acquire Pac-Man, Moon Patrol and Katamari Damacy, we will of course buy the rights to Steel Battalion, but until then, our hands are tied. To kittens.

 

 

Hi,

I have a gamertag and I want to get my son one for Christmas. My question is, can we both play Halo2 at the same time using our own individual gamertags. And if so which ranking games can we play on. I assume the Clan types, but what about the "rumble pit"?

We already have a blast playing in the training grounds but he would like to play in the rankings as well. And we both would like to be able to play at the same time.

Duane

Dear Duane,

Yes as a matter of fact you may both play on one machine with two accounts and your stats are tracked separately. Naturally if you're in a clan game, you need to be in the same clan to play split screen. Or you could buy another Xbox and TV. I tremble at the thought of the amount of filthy lucre we receive from your household alone.

 

Dear Webmaster,

I have been waiting way too long for a reply from you so I'm sending my idea to another company.

Dillon

Dear Dillon,

Dammit! And we were just about to secure the massive funding required.

 

 

 

Dear Webmaster,

Hi, i was wondering what the blood and gore level of Halo would be on an eMac 1GHz.

One of my friends said that the computer wasnt fast enough to render the blood and gore and another said that there was a setting that alowed you to turn off the blood.

Thanks for your help!!!!!!

Billy Smith

Dear Billy,

A 1 Gig eMac should be able to render tons of blood, gore and even spinal fluid.

 

Dear Webmaster,

I know this is not realy the place to ask this , but i was lost and had no idea where else to ask.
 
I have just recently recived my halo 2 pre-ordered game , sadly since i have bought it in Canada, Quebec , both instruction books where in french. I 'm a huge fan of keeping everything in english even tought a speak french , so i was wondering if there was any way i could recive a english version of the collectors eddition booklets, it would mean alot to me to have them the way they were originaly writen.

Neo Nosferatu

Dear Neo,

This is a first. A complaint about "no English version" from Quebec. You can download it from HERE.

 

Dear Webmaster,

I wanted to know if the guardians would be in Halo 2, not that I know what the guardians are, besides they
kill me. Thank you for your time,
BrotherJohn

 

Dear BrotherJohn,

Yes, the Guardians are indeed back, but this time they won't kill you. They will make you pies and ice-cream sodas. Our new friendlier Guardians are concerned about your wellbeing and happiness and will do everything they can to ensure an enjoyable gameplay experience. Wait. Word just in, the Guardians still ONLY kill people. Again. Makes you wonder what they're guarding, really.