The Webmaster, fabled "helper" from Bungie of old, has returned. Only a year between this episode and the last. Note to new Bungie.net readers: The Webmaster is a cantankerous, beer-addled misfit who wears a gorilla suit and expecting sensible, polite answers from him is akin to gouging out your own eyes with frozen carrots. If you are easily offended, or frankly, if you are difficult to offend, then you should consider leaving now. If you wish, for some bizarre reason to email him, then he can be contacted at: webmaster@bungie.com.

Sigh. It's that time of the month. Regular as clockwork I am, unlike some of the workshy fops that infest this site on a day to day basis. I decided to answer some more letters to the Webmaster when reader missives finally forced some of the -blam!- and African get rich quick schemes out of my mailbox. Anyway, in the spirit of sharing wisdom and happiness, here's another bulletin, from my bullpen.

how about some new posts or pics or even letters you lazy bastard
your site has has been the exact same with the exeptions of threads
you need to post new letters at least weekly if you were good at your job every day
i imagin you as this fat hung over pig boy sitting in pringles ridden desk with an over flowing
garbage can probably with rudamentory pictures drawn by you in hopes of being moved out of
your current position and in the real world of gaming,  you suck you hord all the good halo2 info
and give none of it away i hate you  i hate you i hate you  web boy
die die die
very respectfully

david olson

ps send my best to the wife and kids

David,

Thanks for the wittily crafted reminder! I'll get right on it!

Alright I give UP!!!

How do you get the top and bottom graphics of the beta.bungie.net site to remain statically positioned within the viewport instead of the canvas, while allowing the text of the page to scroll with browser scrollbar? I've tried a combination of div tags with position:absolute and the only way I can get it to work is to place the text in its own DIV and give it its own scrollbar so you see 2 scroll bars on the page. I guess I just don't have the right combination or know the magical rain dance to do in conjunction with my html to get it to work. So can you educate me a bit or show me where to look?

Thanks, Drew

Dear Drew,

Yes. Our site is indeed mysterious. As a matter of fact, we use a new web programming protocol called WTML or Wizard-Type Magic Language. However, known anti-wizardry spells include scroll bar mojo in Mozilla and curly-quote summoning hex.

dear webmaster, i've been interested in games and games animation for as long as i can remember.

So i just want to know if you can tell me what qualifictions i would need to become a character animator?

Richard P

Richy P,

A good question, and poorly asked, I might add. Anyway, in typically charitable fashion, I wandered around to the ritzily-named "animation-station" to see what qualifications were required. As far as I could tell from a purely visual observation, you need about thirty extra pounds, several empty Molson cans and an unhealthy obsession with Bob Probert.

Verbal prodding provoked the following tart and tort response, "I dunno, maybe to be good at drawing thousands of very slightly different things, consecutively."

 Dear webmaster,

I just read about halo 2 in the xbox magazine. It said that the pistol is going to be not as powerful, and you can zoom but not fire?!?!  What is going on here? Are they trying to kill halo? Now I understand this may not be your particular field. But whoever made this decision, I need to talk some sense into him. Maybe you've never played halo, but the pistol is the core of the game. Without the pistol it becomes like every other shooter and it's paramount that they keep it the same. I could write 2 pages of why it's important. But I've been playing halo every since it came out and no one has played more than me. So I understand what makes it so much fun and why it's such a big hit. So please try to let him or her read this and make sure that they are aware of the mistake they are making.

Sincerely, Steven Thompson

Stevie,

Try as I might, I could not convince the Halo designers that you somehow knew better than they. They continue to insist these three things:

One: There will be plenty of weapons that will take up the "core" weapon functionality of the pistol, many of them brand new and unrevealed to date.

Two: Dual-wielding and other changes injected game subtleties that required mdofications to the existing arsenal.

Three: They said you're a pistol--blam!-, whatever that means.

I have a question concerning the muliplayer in Halo2. Will there still be split screen multiplayer and co-op modes? Thanks

Woody   

Woody,

Yes.

 

hey whats up bungie im just some kid at home that wants some info from you people at bungie...... well i am at age 18 and have to decide on schools college or trade schools and what im going to be doing for the rest of my life.... and well i wanted to ask u for advice.. because i would love to work in computers and mainly work in video game programming .... i went to gamelight.com i believe oit is downloaded there free trial and am working on making the model and animation for the model creating bones in the model and etc.... well i just graduated highschool... and live in brooklyn new york.... well what do u think my next step would be to becomming a video game programmer.. what collegs i could attent or what trade schools would be best for me????? because there are so many and i dont no what to choose form if u can help me out Thank You

Thank You for ur time and hope to hear back from you..

Matt

Dear, dear Matt,

I am so stoked for the youth that u can graduate highschool with speling an punkchewation like urs. That said, there are many disciplines that don't technically require wordsmithery, like animation, design, even engineering and programming. But since you're interested in making models, why not explore the art and animation aspect? That way you could go to college and learn something useful and applicable, without being terribly specific or specialist.

 
Hi, I was just wondering what weapons could be able to be pick up during multiplayer matches like over xbox live. I know you can pick up the son-of-a--blam!--stick (cant wait),

P.S cant wait for Halo 2 i have already pre-ordered my copy of the limited collectors edition

Many thanks Adam (massive Halo fan)

 

Adam,

Technically, it's an anti -son-of-a--blam!- stick. But you can pick up almost every weapon in the game during multiplayer including shotguns, pistols, Needlers, plasma weapons, rocket launchers Brute Shots, grenades, Carbines, particle beam rifles, battle rifles, and more. And you can man gun turrets. And drive vehicles. And fly Banshees. And corpse-hump. And melee attack. And use the Covenant energy sword. And smash windows. And destroy environments. And voice-chat live. And some other stuff.

To whom this may concern,

I have an idea of a sporting game for the Playstation 2 system. This game has never been distrubuted by any company or any systems around th world. There is a great demand for this type of sport around the world, where millions of pieces can be sold because i am in this type of industry and I know the popularity of this sport has grown.

You can E-Mail me back so we can discuss the future of this franchise of this game.

Ron

 

Ron,

Let's save each other a lot of time and assume that the "sport" is Ultimate Frisbee. And that the sexy sporting stylings of thin men in knee-high socks is due to return. And let's save ourselves even more time by cutting this off at the pass.

 

I love how you always make fun of everyone! Now make fun of me! Please?!

-Fernanado Martinaz

Dear Fernando,

No need. You actually spelled your own name wrong. I rest your case.

 

Hello,

I had a question about the Marathon series. I noticed that the old store will be closing on the 31st, and that 'most of the products available would not be produced anymore'. Assuming that one of these goners is the "Mac Action Sack" which encompasses the Marathon trilogy, has Bungie considered releasing / re-licensing the games/datafiles as free, much like they released the Marathon 2 source code? I kinda had my mind on the Aleph One project and how it will be hard to get new gamers to play Marathon (Durandal and Infinity) when they won't be able to purchase the games (unless they're lucky enough to find it used...)

If the answer to my question is... well... not quite what I was hoping for =P, I would really appreciate it if you would contact me if the situation changes.

Thanks so much for your time =P

-- Collin Jones

 

Collin,

The sad fact of the matter is that the Mac Action Sack is reaching its final desperate days. We're down to a few dozen, and when they're gone, they're gone. It may be that one day we'll put two Xbox games in a burlap sack (emptied of kittens, of course) and call it the Halo Swag Bag, but the grim reality is upon us. The Mac Action Sack is almost gone. The other thing to consider, is that the Mac Action Sack consists entirely of games for a computer OS that no longer exists (yes, I KNOW it still exists literally you bunch of Sunday Afternoon Sartres) and is therefore, to most people, about as much use as a chocolate teapot.

As for releasing the game files for free, only time and lawyers will tell. But when the store is up and running properly, those Action Sacks will be the very last.

   

Hi

My name is Tyler and I am a big fan of Halo. I was wondering if you could allow me to create a Halo buddy icon for my AOL screenname.

Please allow this simple request.

Thank you

Tyler

Tyler,

How dreadfully nice of you to ask! You know, children of this day and age can be terribly rude, and awfully presumptuous. You young man, are a glowing icon of youth! A blessed, rose-cheeked cherub in an age of black-hearted devils and an example to us all. Rather than take the sewer road of an ordinary guttersnipe, you have chosen that high and golden path – the path of good manners. Rather than simply pick the pockets of society's charity like some gap-toothed tatterdemalion, you have stepped up, cleared your throat and asked with sincerity, dignity and aplomb, for a simple thing.

And so I am pleased to say, that my answer is a hearty "no." Now bugger off.

 

Are you able to reload while you are duel-wielding? Are the Covenant and Humans able to duel-wield and take vehicles from other people in the single player campain?

Anon

 

Yes,

you can reload while dual-wielding, with a nifty animation to accompany it. This does leave you vulnerable, but you reload independently, whichever gun is out of ammo, or simultaneously if they're both out. As a matter of fact, I often get my face smashed in by angry beta testers as I reload two SMGs at the same time. As for the rest of your question, I'm not permitted to say, but the answer would be cool if I could give it to you.

 

 

Is there any Halo/Halo2 Sheet music for an alto sax???

 

Please write back,

 

Feral

 

Listen Kenny G,

We know it's you. And you're not getting the music. Marty says you already stole his hair, and you can't have his music. The offer of sheet music remains open to Skynnrd though.

 

 

Hi! My name is Pierre, (french canadian) but living in Florida...I really enjoy HALO and I suggest that Bungie MUST try one of these days to work on the project of  THE FIFTH ELEMENT (like the movie) Because I feel like the movie has been based on a video game!!!!  Good story, special weapons, find the 4 stones, the aliens...and so much more!!!!! It is just an idea that i have since I played Halo!!!!! Answer me if you have time and Bungie should one day create the Xbox game......The Fifth Element.     Sorry for my spelling ...I'm still learning the english.    

 

Pierre

 

 

Pierre ,

You make some important points. The Fifth Element does have a number of video game-like themes. Collecting multiple objects is a fine example. There are as you say, special weapons and intriguing alien species. But you're forgetting one very important fact. The Fifth Element is LOVE. If we said that at the end of our game, we'd be killed. KILLED!

 

 

i have been told that it was originally made for ps2 but that the ps2 was too weak, i know that the first halo was all about fighting aliens with machetes (i read your halo origin caption) and i know that youve changed it a lot when you put it on xbox, so i have two questions,

1. was halo originally made for ps2 but couldnt be finished cause it is too weak, and

2. if you never changed the game from its alien machette thing, would the xbox still be powerful enough to run it?

 

Bskater

 

Bskater,

 

I think I'm going to field this question to my good friend Skwinkles the Kitten. Skwinkles?

"Mew."

 

Hello.

I have been a fan of bungie since the beginning (I think).

I was wondering if there will be any open beta tests (not only Halo 2) and if so, if they would be available to Australia

Also I have been looking around the site, and it seems that the Halo 2 forums have disappeared, does this have anything to do with the www.ilovebees.com thing.

In closing, if you insult me for this letter, you will wake up to be castrated (WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT)

 

Anthony Oosterbeek

Victoria , Australia

 

 

Dear Anthony,

There will never be any open beta tests, although it might tickle you to know that people are playing in Victoria right this minute – full time Microsoft employees, that is. The Halo 2 forums are still running.

And in closing, I didn't get where I am today by being caught unawares. The rule for a successful gentleman is to ALWAYS expect castration. At any time.

 

 

If I pay 55 dollars for a BS single player experience I will disown Bungie by not giving you any more money.  It is good to play together is an idiotic slogan. I hope your company lives, as I somewhat hope MS dies and is auctioned off. Zanzibar or whatever can burn in hell. Perhaps I should cancel my preorder for your almost 3 year old  game...

 

Nathan Fitch

 

Nathan,

You seem like a friendly, happy-go-lucky sort, but I have to be honest, I don't really know what it is you want. So I'm going to go out on a wing. Bear with me. Most readers want information, so we'll start with that as our basis. About 30% of our readers actually wish to be insulted, a minority, so we'll avoid that (for the moment) and about 52% are demanding information regarding Halo 2. We'll go with Halo 2 then.

Now, 62% of readers are curious about ilovebees.com, but as the gorilla-suit-wearing Webmaster of Bungie.net, I genuinely don't know anything more about it. So I can't answer questions in that field. Now the rest of the questions tend to relate to Halo 2 specific features. So I shall volunteer one. The Carbine is hidden behind the crates and the stacked palette on Ivory Tower.