The Webmaster, fabled "helper" from Bungie of old, has returned. Only a year between this episode and the last. Note to new Bungie.net readers: The Webmaster is a cantankerous, beer-addled misfit who wears a gorilla suit and expecting sensible, polite answers from him is akin to gouging out your own eyes with frozen carrots. If you are easily offended, or frankly, if you are difficult to offend, then you should consider leaving now. If you wish, for some bizarre reason to email him, then he can be contacted at: webmaster@bungie.com.

yeah i dont really have a question about the site but i was wondering where i could get the 3 issues of oni comics... i heard their out of print or something but i was wondering if anyone knew where i could get one in Canada in British Columbia?

Farah Malik

Farah-

A question that's neither insulting or silly. What a nostalgic trip down memory lane. Farah, you warm the cockles of my heart. That doesn't mean I can help you, because I don't have the faintest clue what you're talking about. I haven't been in a comic shop since 1985 when I tried to end a violent dispute about whether the Beyonder could beat Darkseid in a knife fight. Of course in the eyes of the law it only became a "violent" dispute when I pulled out the .38 and started firing.

I put your question to some comic-loving Bungie staffers who are not burdened by restraining orders. Lorraine McLees suggested going to the website of Dark Horse Comics, the publishers of the Oni comic. They list an online shop called Things From Another World as a place to purchase their entire line of books. Do a search on "Rockstar Games" and you'll get all three issue's of "Rockstar Games' Oni." You'll also get funny thoughts in your head, like "Why is it called Rockstar Games' Oni when they only did the PS2 port?" or perhaps "Come to think of it, COULD the Beyonder beat Darkseid in a knife fight?" Take it from your old pal the Webmaster: such philosophical meandering gets one nowhere in this life.

Hello,

I was looking for a little help. I have been searching for the last few days to Find the Font used For the Halo Logo with no luck Could you help me out. What Font is it? and Where can I find it?

Thanks for your help.

D. Kuske

D-

The official story is: there is no Halo font and never was. Of course this is just a fairy tale invented for the sole purpose of frustrating people as per Standard Bungie Operating Procedure. But I'm tired of being part of that charade. In fact I hate all party games. So I'll let you in on a little secret: the Halo font was given to me personally by the Dalai Lama during my "lost weekend" in Tibet. ("But the Dalai Lama doesn't live in Tibet, he's lived in exile for years," you whine. Now it can be told: I triple-dog-dared him to sneak back in. He may be an ambassador for spiritual peace, but he's also got the balls of a brass monkey.) He told me I must use the Halo font only for good, and I agreed. He told me he would cut off my balls if I was jerking him around. I figured the Dalai Lama probably doesn't make idle threats, so I stayed true to my word and only used the font when the Halo team showed me an alpha of sufficient quality. As it turned out he had nothing to fear from me; after Halo's first public showing in 1999, a disreputable perfume company (is that redundant?) tracked down the Dalai Lama and did unspeakable things to him with cucumbers until he buckled and gave them the font. I didn't know of this until last summer, when I headed back to The Dal-man's crib so we could discuss spiritual matters and watch a weekend Press Your Luck marathon. (He's quite a fan, and has an uncanny ability to predict whammys.) He says "live and let live" but frankly if I'd been there I'd have kicked their asses.

Mister webmaster:

I was in bungie.com the other day, choosing a birthday present. I saw Myth: the total codex, and I liked it. I went to bungie store, and surprise! It was in construction. Then, I thought: lets look in Amazon.com. There were only windows versions. So: What happened to the company I knew that made ONLY mac games, like marathon, etc. Now only windows offers? I mean, what happened here??

Anyway, could u at least tell me roughly when bungie will take mac orders for myth:the total codex?

Sincerely pissed-off,

Tomas Bianchi

Tomas-

The company you knew that made ONLY Mac games was replaced in 1995 by a company that made Mac and PC games. You are behind the times. As for Amazon, one can only surmise why they don't note that the Codex is a hybrid disk and will run on a Mac or PC. Maybe the guy who entered that item into Amazon's database was lazy, or dumb, or was part of the vast international conspiracy that exists in the addled minds of those Mac users whose particular brand of zealotry makes my own psychosis seem positively urbane by comparison.

Unfortunately we won't be offering the Total Codex in the Bungie Store when it reopens, as the Codex is no longer in print - and hey, it's no longer our product to sell anyway. But if you happen to find a copy of the Codex, feel free to buy it - it will work on your Mac, as a quick glance at the system requirements on the box will confirm.

i wish to know why you removed any and all refrences to marathon on the bungie site.

Player 1

Player-

I wish to know who removed your eyeballs. You must not have seen the various links on the Products page. Or any of the text on the History page.

   Matt's comments on the PC/Mac Halo:

   "We honestly haven't had the time to plan the Mac/PC versions yet. After the team finishes this last round of testing the Xbox version, they will take some much-needed time off and then regroup to figure out what comes next. We know they're going to happen, but exactly HOW has not been worked out yet."

   -blam!- sellouts. Screw you guys.

Ray Brown

Ray-

Sellouts my ass. I'm typing this with only one hand because the other is still laced with glass fragments. Know why? Because the big moolah sellout millions I keep reading about don't actually exist, and I have to keep stealing my liquor from homeless women like I've always done. I have to target the ones who are carrying infant children because they don't fight back as well. Unless the "infant" turns out to be a bunch of used needles collected from who knows were and wrapped in a blanket. What's even worse is that, nine times out of ten, these women turn out to be ex-girlfriends of mine and I have to spend a good half hour standing there listening to the story of every damn thing that's happened to them since they broke up with me. Do you know what it feels like to hear a homeless woman dragging a bundle of used syringes tell you that breaking up with you was the best thing that ever happened to her? "Keeping it real" does not even begin to describe the emotional acrobatics of sheer will I perform on a moment-to-moment basis just to keep from eating my weight in sawdust and using a road flare as a suppository. So please do not even contemplate the possibility of telling ME that YOU have problems. Okay? That other Bungie representative speaks the truth, which is perhaps his sole redeeming quality. If we're sellouts, we're honest sellouts. I don't want any more guff from you unless it comes wrapped in a $20 so I can buy my own damn liquor again.

whats your symbols on the stock exchange?

hank@montrose

Hank-

MSFT. Don't bother with the stock though. Buy games and related crap from the Bungie Store...Soonª!

YOU GUYS NEED TO ETHIR CONTINUE WITH OR RE-MAKE THE BLOOD TIDES OF LH'OWON

Jonah Welch

Jonah-

What would we call the sequel? Blood Tides of Lh'owon 2: High Tide? Blood Tides 2: Ebb Tide? How about Not Even Tide Detergent Can Get Rid Of The Bloodstains From The Blood Tides Of Lh'owon? I smell a co-marketing deal. I'll get Zartman on this right away.

Jup, just antother screwed game, like so many others out there. Another canidate in the long history of rushed and dropped games. Yet you are nothing else then a ordinary gang of garage kids, wanting to develop their own game, and ending up in a mess. You did personaly sacrifice your precious ideas and concepts, to make this game fit in a xbox, and you deserve nothing else then loss and griev. Realy a lot of peeps where waiting on this, and realy a lot of them are already pissed of. As the game comes out, most likely more of them will be pissed of, and they wont forget. In the future, when a action and tactical fan sees your name on a game box, it will be with a slight anger, and this does not make good sales.

Congratulations for screwing Halo. Well done!!!

Anonymous Illiterate

Dear Anonymous-

I took the liberty of chopping out all but the last bit of your outburst (you seem a little nebulous on the paragraph concept) because I couldn't understand it. Something tells me I wouldn't have understood it even if English was your first language. I did want to correct one of your assertions. We may be a bunch of garage kids, but we did not end up in a mess. Your mom comes over to clean our garage every Saturday night.

Hi,

My names Adam and I live in Tasmania, Australia. The Xbox doesn't come out down here until March 28th and I was wondering if you could send me a bit of info on it. I've been to every website on it and I think yours is the best.   It must of taken you stacks of time to make Halo, it's now my favourite game and I havn't even played it yet. Maybe you can dend me a copy of it for my Xbox for when I get it. Reply to me and I'll tell you my address if you want to!!!!!!!

From Adam.

P.S: Can you reply to me and send me some info or maybe even a copy of Halo. Thanks. See Ya!!!

Adam-

The free copy of Halo is on its way via steamer. A Cleveland Steamer, to be precise.

Hello. I have always respected you and the Bungie team for the games they have produced. When you and the Bungie team sold out to MS (I know it was not your fault) I lost the repect I once had for all of the Bungie games. I will never buy a microsoft game or the XBOX. AoE is the only MS game I had and I burnt it. Now knowing that I have WINDOWS, but I have hacked the hell out of it so I cannot call it WINDOWS anymore but more like SWODNIW. But I bring up the question: NOW THAT BUNGIE SOLD OUT TO MS, WILL I HAVE TO BURN ALL OF MY BUNGIE GAMES!?, I am hung up. Please help me.

Golbez

Golbez-

Yes, you need to burn every last one. They're all rated "Mature" and unfortunately you don't qualify.

Alright, I have to say that I am very dissapointed. Extremely dissapointed. I have been with Bungie ever since Pathways, and ever since then, Bungie has been my favorite software company. That is, of course, until just now, for just now I read that Halo will be on the Xbox only. What are you guys doing? I thought it was a little odd and I found it upsetting that you sold yourself to Microsoft (considering that Jason started everything on the Mac, and that I am a macaddict), but I was reassured when you stated that you weren't going to let them influence you at all (which I trusted). Not five minutes ago, I read that Microsoft "convinced" you guys to release Halo "only on Xbox".

My response to this is I am pulling my preorder for an Xbox, and I will not purchase an Xbox or Halo. I was going to buy Halo for my brand new G4 (as you promised I would be able to not more than a year ago) because I still prefer games on the computer. However...

[yadda yadda yadda...no offense Scott but there is only so much room and The Webmaster wants to save some of it for people who have real questions.]

Try to convince me you made a logical decision.

Scott Petrie

Scott-

One should not believe everything he reads, unless he happens to be reading the Letters to the Webmaster page, which is as close to full, objective truth as you're likely to get. I don't know what goofy game journalists you're reading, Scott, but you have to realize that many of them get inside scoops like the "Xbox-only Halo" story from their imaginary friends. Bungie employs a guy full-time to write "Yes, Halo is still coming to the PC and Mac." If you'll do us a favor and start believing him, maybe we won't need him around anymore. That would suit me just fine because I've been coveting his desk for some time. When I have a bigger desk I can bring in my wok and stir-fry brine shrimp for lunch. Or maybe just use the extra space for a meth lab.

What exactly is wrong with the food in Washington?

"IFlyBoats"

I Fly-

I wish I knew.

Can someone put the mission statement from Bungie's beginnings back on the website in a more prominent place. Now that Halo is on the way, a whole new generation of people will get to live the words of the Bungie Mission Statement!

In case you forgot it: "We pledge that our games will effectively help our customers avoid work, put their personal lives in stasis and test their self-esteem to its core - and afterwards, they will swear it was worth it."

Thanks so much.

Leverett Litz

PS. Great work on the Halo release party. I had an awesome time.

Leverett-

What place could be more prominent than this page? I have it on good authority that this site is the first thing most prominent world leaders check when they wake up in the morning. Of course that is largely because they're worried I'll publish the photographs, but hey...anything to drive traffic, right?

I had intended to make a rare public appearance at the Halo launch party but was unavoidably detained; my jetpack was in the shop, and apparently I can't get on a plane in my gorilla suit anymore. Luckily, Bungie's resident dirty old man Marty O'Donnell spent the entire evening videotaping the many beautiful women in attendance, so I have some idea of what it was like. Of course it took six people, one with a rag soaked in chloroform, to pry the tape from his hands, but one can attribute that to the natural stiffening of the joints that comes with age.

i need cheats for halo because my little brother erased my memory and i dont want to start all over

Blackpower81

I can sympathize. The CIA erased my memory. I only found out about it after they emailed me the pictures. Your tax dollars at work.

hi

i like cake

from Teddy Roosevelt

Teddy-

You are indeed like cake. For starters, neither you nor cake can write simple English sentences, you are often soaked in human saliva and I always see you in the grocery store lurking near the muffin table. If I see you chasing my dog again I will not bother with a warning shot.

I will never buy Halo, unless Bungie creates it for Nitendo GameCube or Sony Playstation 2.

That's lost revenue for Bungie.

Microsoft doesn't want you to make games for other consoles. But, it will hurt you in the long run. All for MS pride and control.

Think about it. Create Halo for Sony and Nitendo and it wil fly off the shelves. This = $ for Bungie.

But, MS doesn't want you to make other consoles tempting for potential gamers. So, no maky gamies for Bungie! So sorry, boo-hoo!

MS agenda achieved at Bungie's expense.

Heh heh...

David Salinas

David-

"Heh heh" is right. "No maky gamies"? How old are you, four?

Who of the development staff for Halo has read the Sci-Fi novels by Iain M.Banks and decided to completly rip him off?? It seems to me that your levels (or at least some of them) are based upon an "O" or Orbital. A big ring of matter that supports the earth see and atmosphere!!! I geuss Halo isn't as origonal as everyones saying!

Tom Bird

Tom-

Actually the Halo story is ripped directly from the Journey song "Wheel in the Sky." Which is also where Larry Niven and Iain Banks got all "their" ideas.

hello, I can't believe that you cut out the music in multiplayer for halo. that is like gross negligence. it is just wrong.somebody should kill Microsoft for pressing the good people (not you) of Bungie into making Halo release with xbox. And by the way, you seem to have an unhealthy obsession with everyone's mother. Maybe you should get some psychological counseling and that finger out of your nose. Also-your website design sucks~! I could do a much better job. Why don't you try some advanced website things such as a flash intro, and an easy to navigate site (oh wait, that's not advanced).

Daniel Petty

Daniel-

We have never had music during multiplayer in any of our games, so it would be impossible to "cut" it when it was never there in Halo or any of the games that preceded it. And flash intros, not to put too fine a point on it, blow goats.

Congratulations for creating the most exciting game I have ever played. Halo was worth the entire cost of the XBOX!

I have ideas you might consider for a follow-up game.

When I was playing Halo, I was confused by the sound of a heartbeat that I kept hearing. I wasn't sure if it was my heart or the computer. Then I was thinking, it would be neat if you could actually tap in the sound of someone's heart from a sensor on your finger and have it amplified on the computer. Then, I was thinking about taping in a person's live aura by also using finger sensors (see aura.net) and using live depictions a human's chakras.

The story line behind a new radical game might be to tie in a person's live aura and chakras with actual astral projection experiences. After playing Halo for about 20 hours within a week, I started having lucid dreams and perhaps experienced limited astral projection. Using a visual presentation of how astral projections work and using live human auras and heartbeats in your game would be very interesting. Using your mind to alter your state of being as you move around with a joystick will bring new meaning to the word interactivity.

Once astral projection is achieved in the game, a user would go on quests on different astral planes, seeking and interacting with other online users going on spiritual and physical quests. Some suggested places would be the ancient pyramids of Giza, temple in Cambodia, Atlantis (ancient places that may have been linked together somehow). The goal of the game might be to energize an individual's chakras or aura's certain way during a person's quest.

What do you think about using a person's real electromagnetic field as an input device (in addition to using a joystick for navigation)?

Sincerely,

Chris Wilson

[Several attached pages of DIY astral projection instructions snipped for reasons of space...and sanity]

Chris-

It is not my place to cast aspersions on your beliefs, since this is still a nominally free country and hey, it takes all kinds. Nevertheless, here I go. I had never heard of chakras before (except Chakra Khan of course) so I had to look them up. It struck me that any force which is not scientifically measurable would make a poor control option for a video game. Besides, we've already done the "explore a pyramid in the Yucatan Peninsula" game, and we thought shooting monsters was way more fun than energizing our auras. Top it all off with the fact that a lot of this chakra/aura stuff is just plain kooky and you get a pretty good argument for sticking with more traditional game interfaces like joypads and keyboards. I've done a lot of things I would regret if I had a conscience, but I think the pyramid-power-touting, magnetic-bracelet-wearing snake oil salesmen of the world make enough money without getting their grubby paws on the gaming industry.

I am interested in the site http://halo.bungie.org/. It claims that it is not bungie. I am sorry to have to ask but I would like to know if this is though, an official Halo website or a third party creation? Do you support all information that flows across the pages of this website? To make it simple, does this website put fourth truthful information? Many people are believing this is a true Halo website and I would like to know if http://halo.bungie.org/ is a true official Halo website.

Subliminal Demise

Subliminal-

Bungie.org is run by fans of Bungie, not Bungie itself. The confusion is understandable, as the key players behind the scenes at bungie.org are alcoholic womanizers not unlike Jason Jones or myself, and Bungie personnel have been known to post in their web forum. But the entities are entirely separate.

A new Halo Sport: we've dubbed it "Polo." It works well with four or more players, but it can be played with two. You should have even teams, unless, of course, one team needs a handicap. Here's how the game is set up:

First, alter the slayer profile. Then turn all weapons into rockets. Turn up max health to 400%. Set kills to 50. Turn off all penalties and make sure you get the player back in the game as fast as possible.

Most importantly, turn on all vehicles.

Secondly, collect players and sort them into teams.

Choose blood gulch as your level.

Okay, here is where the fun begins. Have one team drive the warthog out into the center of the map, (next to the little bush and rocket launcher). Maneuver the scorpions next to the bases at either end. (So long as the Scorpion is touching the base, you are good.) Non-scorpion players should start on top of the base. Revert to this every time a point is scored.

To Score:
Using the tank and rocket men, blast the warthog until it touches your enemy's base. Score five points if you blast it directly on top of their base. Play ends when the warthog touches a base, so if yer trying to get it on the roof, you've only got one shot.

The Rules:
First off, the tanks may not fire at each other (except in special circumstances). A little collateral damage here and there is to be expected and is mostly harmless. The tanks may only shoot at eachother if one of them is dribbling the jeep (pushing it with the tank itself). Tanks are free to shoot at rocket men. The rocket men are free game, they suffer no man's rules, and can shoot whoever they want. They can even jump inside the jeep and try to drive it down-range (although this rarely works).

Teleporter use is allowed and is quite useful. Use of the ghosts is strictly prohibited. Players might want to go as far as leaving them behind the base before play begins.

Enjoy

Phill Spiess

Phill-

Nice work. With the right promotion, this new breed of Halo Sport could become as popular as that other polo, perhaps attracting mallard-faced English royalty and their dope-fiend children in the process. There's no such thing as bad publicity, but that would come pretty close.

I have $10,000 invested in computer equipment built on the Mac G4 processor. I want to play Halo on my Mac. I don't see spending $300 on an X-Box and another $50 for Halo, just to play one game. When will Halo be available for Mac?

David Sullivan

David-

We don't have a release date for the Mac version yet, but unfortunately for you it will contain code which checks the monetary value of all installed components and connected peripherals and renders the game inoperable on setups worth $7,777 or more. Now that we are owned by Microsoft, people always accuse us of catering to bourgeois money interests, so we have to do things like this to "stay street" and keep the punters happy. I'm sure you understand.

I'm a longtime fan, writing to y'all for the first time. Didn't know which of you (whether Master or Monkey) I should write, so I figured I'd shotgun this to both of you and see what I get back. I shall be honored to be ridiculed in your Letters to the Webmaster.

A friend of mine showed me the "Pimps at Sea" website, and at first glance I was stunned! Amazed, even! Bungie always pleases with their games, and I expected nothing less with "Pimps at Sea." I mean, pimps and pirates? Poop decks and platform shoes? How can this miss?

But then a nagging little doubt started to pull at my brain stem. "Maybe 'Pimps at Sea' is an joke. An inside joke that a few employees at Bungie pulled to amuse themselves." Allay my fears, good Master and Monkey. Say it ain't so! Do you plan to release a game called "Pimps at Sea," or must I satisfy myself with playing "Halo" and "Oni" some more? Please, respond with haste that I may have peace in my heart.

Until then, I remain your faithful,

Bungie Fanboy

Bungie Fanboy

Fanboy-

Some misguided people think Pimps At Sea is a prank because we just happened to announce it on April Fool's Day. We'll see who's laughing when it outsells Myst. I should know since I'm doing much of the in-depth research for the team. I used to get in knife fights with pimps just for fun, but now I get paid for it. You think I'm gonna let all that work go to waste?

Soooooo...............pheonix?

Nate Jasensky

Nate.

No..............Phoenix. As in "Hooked On."