Emotional Ouchie

D-i-s-c-r-i-m-i-n-a-t-i-o-n.

Discrimination is bad. Discrimination makes us cry. Discrimination hurts our feelings.

We don't like it when someone gives us an emotional ouchie, and we certainly don't want to be discriminated against.

We don't want owners of businesses deciding whom to serve, hire or fire. What if they decide that they don't want us?

Tough.

Last fall, my ex-boyfriend and I decided to take a vacation to a small resort area. We needed a break.

It was on short notice, and it wasn't my first choice, but it beat staying in a Poconos resort with Legionnaires' disease-infected champagne glass whirlpool baths.

We called numerous hotels, motels, resorts and inns. Without fail, we were asked if we were married.

"Have you recently found yourselves living in wedded bliss, dearest Lambs of Christ?"

"No, but we fuck a lot."

When we declined to lie about our marital status, they declined to book a room.

Was it discrimination? Sure.

Why shouldn't the unmarried have access to overpriced tourist motels full of children, right? Are they afraid we'll corrupt those young minds with displays of hedonism?

Does it matter?

They own the accommodations, and it's their prerogative to house families and married couples. They'll discriminate as long as the market will bear the discrimination. Should it become cost prohibitive to prohibit sinners, they'll fling open their doors to every infidel within a 200-mile radius.

But don't tell that to the fat or short.

They recently convinced the city of San Francisco to ban discrimination against the obese and midget-like. Now, they'll join women, cripples, gays, blacks, Muslims, the elderly, West Virginians, and transsexuals in being enveloped by the warmth, love and safety of the government.

Great.

Marilyn Wann, a fat rights activist said, "I am awestruck that we're making history. It's common sense that people of all sizes should have equal opportunity in the basics of life."

Right. An opportunity. That doesn't mean one deserves the job or the promotion or an additional airplane seat to accommodate one's overflowing fat or the hotel room with a king-size bed and view of the lake.

We have the opportunity to get those things, but if someone stands in our way, we should take into account that not everything in life can be tailored to our needs and wants.

Some people only want to serve the virtuous, others only the svelte, and still others anyone willing to overextend their credit.

But it's prejudice!

Yes, it is.

What's wrong with prejudice?

My ex-boyfriend's family had a jolly time with my Hispanic background. I took it in stride because any family that produces Stupid Teen Girl shouldn't talk.

(And any family that thinks it's cute that a teenaged member of the clan once had her lunch paid for by the high school football team deserves a break.)

While I could have become annoyed when Mama Dearest brought home travel magazines featuring Spain and said, "When I saw this, I thought the spic would enjoy it," I laughed.

Mainly because I knew she'd keel over from a heart attack in a few years due to her excess weight, and there's no use in getting mad at the walking dead. After all, the poor woman still has to fit her fat ass into one airplane seat.

And true, I'm only 1/8 Hispanic, have a Swedish surname and never tan, so the insults didn't cut through me. But I understand how common stereotyping is.

So what?

If I owned a business, I wouldn't hire mothers. I wouldn't even consider them. I'd take one look at their milk-stained shirts, and politely ask them to take their uteri somewhere else. And if a female employee told me that she was pregnant, I'd fire her.

Would that be discrimination? Yes.

Would I get sued? Undoubtedly.

But why shouldn't I be allowed to decide who is fit to work for my business? It's my business.

If it turns out my prejudices are unfair, and I miss out on one of the few mothers who can successfully balance emptying her engorged tits and creating annual reports, my business will suffer.

Businesses and organizations that want to ban the obese, black, female, motherly, etc. face the same decision.

We'll learn our lesson, or we'll pay the consequences.

Although I'd probably choose the consequences.

Providing jack-off material for white misogynists since 1997.

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