#2: Club Drive (Jaguar)Club Drive has all types of gameplay, but most of missions have you driving an RC car around a badly-rendered living room to collect glowing balls of string. What makes this unique from other string-collecting driving games is that the game doesn't care if you decide to drive directly through chair legs or walls. Not that the game cares if you hurry, but this can save you time. The only problem I found was that walls sometimes decided to behave like walls, and most of my games ended with my car driving through one side of the couch and somehow becoming trapped inside it for all eternity. I think they might have stole their programming code from Dolphin Adventures in Tuna Nets.
Graphics: 0/10 Since no matter where you are it's a featureless landscape of flat color, there's no way to tell which you're supposed to go. All it takes is one crash or yank of the wheel to disorient you enough that you drive twenty minutes in the wrong direction. Fun: 0/10 You may not always be able to tell if you're going the right way, but you can always be sure that you don't care if you get there. Physics: 0/10 Video games are supposed to take liberties with physics to keep them fun. No gameplayer wants realistic physics where running down stairs makes his boobs jiggle and your pork-fed heart to palpitate. So I'm not saying the game would be any more fun if the cars acted like real cars, but it looks like the people who were in charge of Club Drive's physics haven't even heard of two things running into each other. Next... |
