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YouPorn 'now on' Xbox, welcomes 'Xbox Masturbators' Sometimes this job is boring, and sometimes YouPorn sends Destructoid a press release, excitedly telling us that its streaming sex video services is coming to Xbox Live. Of course, what it actually means is that, with Internet Explorer coming soon to Xbox 360, you can access YouPorn. But let's not rain on its parade. "Whether you’re pwning n00bs in CoD: Modern Warfare 3, annihilating Bullymong in Borderlands 2, or taking the Saints deep in Madden NFL 13, you’re never more than a few simple controller clicks away from being face deep in hot free porn," boasts the site. This is my favorite story. YouPorn is even good enough to provide some help to any "Xbox Masturbators" who may be worried that they can't adequately mutilate their boners while playing Xbox. Check out this salient advice:
Seriously ... this is the best story. This is what videogame news is all about. Some of you may ask, "How is this a story?" I answer you by saying, "Fuck off." Microsoft has been sure to address YouPorn's proud announcement, stating, "To be clear, we are adding Internet Explorer to Xbox Live, not specific adult content providers like YouPorn or any other specific website content. Additionally, we give members and parents the option to turn this feature on or off for their accounts. Access to Internet Explorer for all Child accounts is blocked by default." So basically, Microsoft 100% approves and welcomes its new lifelong business partner, YouPorn, into the game console industry. Legacy Comments (will be imported soon)i may just have to investigate this masturbatorial aid. this 'porn' thing sounds interesting. good show, microsoft! @davimore
Site like YouPorn have the ability to and probably already have found a work around. Most likely they have an Xbox friendly site running on HTML5. Doesn't the friend's list/check gamertag also show what app you're using?
I know you can edit the specifics - like "Watching A Movie" rather than showing the title - but not the program's appearence next to your avatar. Oh man...This...this is gonna turn out so well. Internet Explorer will require Xbox Gold Membership to browse the internet you already pay for (or leech wifi)
A guestimate, as I have not seen their requirements yet. It's good that they appreciate the speed with which I need to be face deep in hot porn. I'm a busy man. @davimore
Good thing the Internet is slowly moving towards html5 instead. Thank heebus that flash is finally dying out. Hahaha, now this is juicy stuff (figuratively, please not literally). Now when gamers get pissed from their CoD games they'll go furiously fap it off all in one resource.....genius. The more I see things like this the further I'm pulling away from Microsoft's bandwagon. HA!!! TAKE THAT, PS3 FANBOY!!!
Lmao...seriously...Spanktravision on XBL?? Sounds like a good deal to me. If the wankers can't rub one out to Master Chief, then they can just switch over to the actual porn. I doubt the wankers will develop any problems rubbing one out to MC, tho. PS3 has had access to YouPorn since release. Nice to see Xbox finally catching up in the console porn wars. .... but I've had pornhub on my PS3 for years!
I mean.... PORN IS BLASPHEMOUS! ONLY SATAN WORSHIPERS WATCH PORN!! This and many other porn sites have worked on the PS3 for years. It's one of it's best features. Congrats to all the 360 pervs!!! This is good news for some Xbox Live Indie develoeprs. The sale of Erotic Massager apps will be through the roof after IE launches on xbox. I fully support this!
Anything that distracts the jackholes from playing online is a value-added service. Finally, the console peasant race will be able to join us Super Master PC race in jerking off to people fucking on the internet! Reading the "Xbox Masturbator ProTip" about "pwning n00bs" immediately makes me this of this scene (specifically, 00:42)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4NteEIUZqs I think they should make it mandatory to watch a porn video before being able to play online, parents would surely notice that and then ban their little shits from playing online. Its genius I tell you. Bethesda announces The Elder Scrolls Online beta signupsBethesda has just let us know that beta signups are happening right now for The Elder Scrolls Online. All you have to do is go to www.ElderScrollsOnline.com, sign up, and you'll have a chance to get in. All of the detai... more The DTOID Show: Killer Is Dead, Revengeance & SimCityHey gang, The Destructoid Show wasn't live today, because our producer Zac has his fingers cut off for failing at his Yakuza duties. Er. He cut his hand by accident. Something, I forget. Today, we discuss the possibili... more Feast your eyes on this amazingly detailed Skyrim armordeviantART user Chris "Zerios88" Wolvie states on his page that he's a "little noob cosplayer." Sir, I beg to differ. Chris custom made his own Dovahkiin Daedric armor from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and it's just stunning. ... more Missing Skyrim DLC heading to PlayStation 3 in FebruaryIf the technical issues of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim on PlayStation 3 didn't phase you, that version's absent downloadable content likely did. After a whole lot of waiting on our part, Bethesda has announced that PS3 player... more Fallout 3 voice actor teases Fallout followup newsErik Todd Dellums, known to Fallout 3 fans as the voice of post-apocalyptic DJ Three Dog, has recently told fans via Twitter that his character may be returning in the near future. Apparently, he was "given permission" to tea... more Oblivion and Skyrim discounted on XBLANothing to do on New Year's Eve? How about jumping into Skyrim or Oblivion, or some of either title's DLC? All of this Elder Scrolls goodness is on sale in Microsoft's Countdown to 2013 sale today. Skyrim is only $29.99... more Jimquisition Awards: DishonoredThe very first Jimquisition Awards are here! Five days, five games, five awards! We kick off with one of the most compelling new retail IPs released this year, a classic in the making from Arkane Studios and Bethesda. Yep, it could only be Dishonored! more 'The Scorchers' DLC finally makes it to RAGE next weekWhen a PEGI listing for new RAGE downloadable content surfaced months ago, it felt a bit late, considering the game released in October of last year. Still, the add-on seemed like something we'd be interested in checking out ... more Review: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim: DragonbornIt's no secret that I'm a gigantic fan of The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind. For whatever reason, be it the more engaging than average world, the giant mushrooms, the increased freedom, or the ability to customize items and sp... more The DTOID Show: Bioshock, Dragonborn & Killer InstinctLadies and gentlemen, here is today's bountiful cornucopia of video game news, The Destructoid Show! Did you hear about the new Bioshock Infinite box art? It's got a dude on it. And there's a lady on the back, who ... more |     Dtoid is... Dale North Editor-in-Chief Jim Sterling Reviews Editor Hamza Aziz Dir. Communications Conrad Zimmerman Managing Editor Jordan Devore PC Editor Andy Dixon Community Manager Rick Olson Dtoid.TV Producer Niero Gonzalez Publisher Editors Meet the team Our sites Flixist Japanator Tomopop Contact Us Suggest News Advertising General Info  |
8:00 AM on 10.02.2012
