As a general rule, licensed games tend to be poorly made, slapdash affairs looking to cash in on a brand rather than build upon it. Game development is a business first and foremost, after all, so why bother creating a superior product for an established brand when an inferior one will sell just as well?

As cynical as that sounds, however, there is always cause for hope. Every so often, a movie tie-in manages to exceed expectations and become a worthy piece of entertainment in its own right. Is The Expendables 2 Videogame one of those precious few pleasant surprises? Nope. Not in the slightest.

The Expendables 2 Videogame (PC, PlayStation Network [reviewed], Xbox Live Arcade)
Developer: ZootFly
Publisher: Ubisoft
Released: July 31, 2012 (PS3) / August 17, 2012 (PC, XBLA)
MSRP: $14.99 ($11.99 for PlayStation Plus) / 1200 Microsoft Points

Set pieces, explosions, celebrity voice talent -- every day it seems like more and more games are looking to imitate big-budget Hollywood action movies. It's a trend I'm not terribly fond of, but if any game had to do it, one based off Stallone's action-heavy The Expendables franchise seems fairly appropriate. Unfortunately, it stumbles out of the starting gate by omitting a key ingredient that makes those films so appealing in the first place, then goes downhill quickly thereafter.

For a brand that is built on the pedigree of its cast, the game is noticeably lacking in star power. Of the dozen or so action heroes from the movies, only Stallone, Li, Lundgren, and Crews were so kind as to make an appearance. And while that may be disappointing if you're a fan of Van Damme, Willis, or Statham, the cast (or lack thereof) is honestly the least worrisome aspect of the game. It really wouldn't be a point of contention in the first place if the game was, you know, any good. Instead, it serves as the first strike of many against a rather banal four-player co-op shooter that's decided to shortchange fans.  

Against a seemingly endless stream of baddies over 20 levels across four chapters, there's initially a glimmer of hope that the isometric (and sometimes on-rails) shooter will threaten to provide an entertaining (if forgettable) ride. With massive explosions, quippy remarks, and violent signature kills, The Expendables 2 Videogame has all the makings of a summer blockbuster -- at least on paper. Unfortunately, it's not only lacking in the cast, budget, and production values of the films but in execution as well.

Enter the clunky controls. Something of a twin-stick shooter, character movement and direction of fire are mapped are mapped to the right and left analog sticks respectively, which seems all well and good except for the addition of a soft lock-on feature. Initially, this doesn't seem like an issue, as it concentrates fire on the nearest enemy depending on the direction the analog is tilted towards, but as the game wears on, this becomes more and more problematic.

Players will likely lament frequent instances where their character decides to pursue the futile venture of targeting an enemy skulking safely behind a nearby sandbag rather than the snipers and squad of gunners currently in the process of flaying their squadmates. Other times, the last rocket necessary to quickly fell a tank, chopper, or gun emplacement will go careening off towards a recently spawned group of enemies.

Generally, the controls just don't feel very fluid, which can grow especially frustrating as the "challenge" ramps up. By challenge, I mean an artificially inflated sense of difficulty brought on by a massive number of enemies, who at times seem to spawn indefinitely and take quite a bit of punishment before collapsing. Package that with excessive reload times and guns that feel weak and ineffectual at stemming the tide, and you have a shooter that makes shooting a chore more than anything.

From the borderline offensive voice acting to a barely existent narrative, there are numerous other aspects of the game that leave a lot to be desired. Other gripes include crashes, camera issues, invisible walls, unreachable enemies, and foes who can fire through walls. Something I found equally troubling and hilarious were several occasions where allied characters would stand out in the open and repeatedly take sniper rounds to the chest, get knocked down, stand back up, and welcome more from their far-off assailants.

This is one of the worst games I've played in a long time. And it's not necessarily because of the clunky controls, vapid shooting, or myriad of other issues that are at play here. The Expendables 2 Videogame just isn't fun. It's a long and tedious slog through the mud and a thousand enemy corpses, where time is the only thing that separates you from the end credits.

Legacy Comments (will be imported soon)

islan

Oh you!

Occams electric toothbrush

Usedtabe

>Ubisoft

Not surprising.

CalmGiant

Goddammit, getting me hyped up in that opening paragraph (even tho i knew it was coming)

PhilKenSebben

Personally I can't wait to get this.

For free from plus. Had fun in the demo, but yeah, it has issues.

ZeniGeva

Lycan XIII

Hamza should have reviewed it.

onetimebuster

This game blows i hated it so much.

myherozero

I guess you could say that this game is... expendable. YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!!

TheGlue29

I thought it was only discounted to $10 with PS+?? If it's free for PS+ users, I'll go d/l it now.

burningsoup

Movie's still gonna be awesome. Nothing will convince me otherwise.

the silent comentator

What's the purpose of it being a twin-stick shooter if you can't even freely aim at what you want to? Thats like having an instant lock-on button in a FPS. Wait...

acetated

3.5...? 3.5...!

PhilKenSebben

@TheGlue: It is only discounted now, but its plus man. It'll be free in 2 months or so. Hell Shank 2 was reviewed well and ended up being free a month later, not to mention all the games that release free for plus members.

Syn

Called it.

ctg867

First time in a while one of Destructoid's obnoxiously harsh reviews actually seems justified. Plus this *isn't* the lowest score from a major publication. And it really does sound mediocre.

Oh, and Jim Sterling didn't review it. That always helps. I concede you this one, Dtoid. I won't be buying this game. *Tips hat and bows out*

Commandant Oreo

*Zootfly releases the game*

*Ubisoft calls for a meeting*

*Everyone starts discussing Zootfly*

"What are the rules of engagement?"

"Crew expendable."

*SAS team helis in and kills everyone at Zootfly*

Kevkun

I called it when the trailer was released, and I actually like twin stick shooters, not so much the movie.

I'm sure people can have some fun with it, it just won't be me.

pundaG

I lawled at that intro paragraph!

It was helped by the fact that all the early previews on here led me to actually believe this'd be half decent.

:P

Startyde

This can't be true. This is one of the TOP 5 games that game guy from CNN said we should be watching out for.

TwinDad

Wonderful intro paragraph. As soon as I got to the end I knew where the review was heading.

Konnery

I feel like Hamza should have reviewed this

mascot1063

One of my coworkers really enjoys this game. Than again, he also said it's good cause you shoot things. That boy aint right...

VitaminShoe

Man you guys got me all hyped up with those positive previews thought this would be a good coop romp. Damn well 15 bucks saved. Good thing games that look decent keep sucking cause I keep saving.

Xenowing

I heard they had to remove Chuck Norris from the game because his roundhouse kick was assigned to every button even the console power button.

Smo5000

I dont know how you did it dude, the demo alone was maddening. That damned helicopter section ::twitches::

Smo5000

@zenigeva
Best part about that pic? It doesnt even look like a caricature.

relliktra

trailer looks nice

ZeniGeva

@Smo5000

Mine's real. Occam's is the caricature.

G3n3r4lzZoD

"This is one of the TOP 5 games that game guy from CNN said we should be watching out for" loool

Sauce?

QuickDrawMcGraw

Instabuy! Dolph must crush you.

Orcrist

maycausecancer

Tin Man

"it stumbles out of the starting gate by omitting a key ingredient that makes those films so appealing in the first place"

Wait... You thought that film wasn't a boring, soulless turd of a waste of your life? Crumbs.

randombullseye

It looks like those bad zombie shooter co-op games, that are just douche chill bad. I'm bummed out about this, I wished it was a Fighting Force 2 style third person shooter, that would have been great. If it was just on par with something crappy like Kill.Switch or a Tom Clancy game, I'd be so much happier!

seochamp

I'm a sucker for a good action movie, even more so when it's filled with my favorite stars.



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Videogamecharactername

Oh , look at me im so original . I post a clever picture like every other internet loser .

The Amazing Shenazin

a movie game sucks? HOLY PENIS WHAT A SCOOP!

Qreg

It's bad. I'm shocked! Simply shocked!!!!

HipRar

It's like, these games are made simply to cash in on the success (or hype) of the movie. And even then, I feel sorry for those poor fools who even thought about picking this up.

Mark Li

The Expendables 2 Videogame is really wonderful animated movie, i really like. Pass Dumps

Ashcrexl

I am just happy it is not an over the shoulder possibly cover based shoot-a-thon

Vertical

This is a joke, right? This game doesn't actually exist does it? Those pictures up there were just shopped and pasted together from another game weren't they? Right?

...

Guys?

*dies inside*