Project H.A.M.M.E.R. was one of those early announced Wii games that never really went anywhere and quietly disappeared. Alongside Sadness, it was the sort of title that stood out from the minigames and gimmicky PS2 ports. Unlike Sadness, there was proof that Project H.A.M.M.E.R. was an actual videogame at one point. 

Unfortunately, Nintendo canned development years ago, demonstrating that it hates all good games and wanted to only publish bad ones like The Superb Mario's Galaxy and A Legendary Zelda: Sky Wood Sword. Now, however, the Wii U is coming to bring hardcore games to the hardcore gamers who want graphics and online leaderboards. 

So, armed with the Twitter hashtag #BringBackProjectHAMMER and a heck of a lot of gusto, I am out to convince the world why we need to bring back Project H.A.M.M.E.R.

Reason 1: Hammers

Project H.A.M.M.E.R. is a game about hitting stuff with gigantic hammers. This is awesome because hammers are badass and you feel mighty like a God when you hit things with them. If you are not convinced that the game could be good, then ask yourself this: Are hammers good? The answer is obviously yes, and since Project H.A.M.M.E.R. is all about hammers, it stands to reason the game is good. 

Reason 2: Innovation 

Innovative games are the best videogames in the industry, because they innovate, and innovation is innovative. Project H.A.M.M.E.R. innovates by allowing players to wield a gigantic hammer, something that has not been done in a videogame before. Try and name a game in which you ever get to use a hammer. No, that one doesn't count. Project H.A.M.M.E.R. is the premier hammer-themed game in the modern console business, and so it is innovation. 

Reason 3: Action 

I don't know if you realize this yet, but Project H.A.M.M.E.R. allows the user the step into the boots of an action hero who wields an enormous hammer. The intense destructive property of the hammer makes it an adrenaline-pumping weapon for thrillseekers and lovers of hardcore combat gameplay mechanics systems. What is more empowering than laying waste to foes and enemies and opponents with a big hammer? The hammer can break car windows and smash skulls with force, which allows us to invigorate ourselves in the gaming play space. 

Reason 4: Emotions 

All good videogames are emotional, because videogames are art and art is emotional all of the time. Project H.A.M.M.E.R. has emotions because it allows us to view the world through the eyes of a man who fights with a large hammer. The hammer possesses a duality that allows us to have deep feelings when we hit things with it. It is only thanks to hammers that we have built great achievements in society -- cars, skyscrapers, fires, and televisions. The hammer is a creative force. 

The hammer is also a bringer of destruction. That which we used to create can also be used to destroy. This is the dichotomy of Project H.A.M.M.E.R., a game in which we use a creative tool as a destructive weapon. This says a lot about the human condition and allows us to enjoy a mature, adult experience. 

Reason 5: This Video

In this video, a man fights with a gigantic hammer. That really says everything, doesn't it?

Reason 6: Dark & Gritty

Project H.A.M.M.E.R. is a dark and gritty journey for the post-modern generation. Using realistic graphics and a grim color palette, it is designed to be taken seriously by those gamers who don't like to play their games lightly. Move over The Animals Are Crossing, a NEW game is in town, and it doesn't take kindly to your sugary crap. 

Part of the reason why Project H.A.M.M.E.R. is so dark and gritty is the main character's decision to utilize the crushing power of a heavy hammer. The hammer is a symbol of grit, ever since it was used by the determined Soviet Russians to build an empire out in the country they live in. Since that time, the hammer has had an association with steely resolve, the kind that is needed when playing a realistic action game set in our perilous modern times. 

Reason 7: Dante's Hair Is Black in DmC: Devil May Cry

For DmC: Devil May Cry, developer Ninja Theory redesigned Dante to provide a more modern, younger protagonist. His sassy attitude is combined with a controversial new hairdo that upset a number of fans, but sparked intense debate nevertheless. Whether or not DmC: Devil May Cry turns out well remains to be seen, but it will be interesting to find out. 

With that in mind, it's pertinent to note that Project H.A.M.M.E.R. also features a male protagonist, except instead of black hair, he has a colossal hammer. 

Reason 8: Hammers

Project H.A.M.M.E.R. is a game about hitting stuff with gigantic hammers. This is awesome because hammers are badass and you feel mighty like a God when you hit things with them. If you are not convinced that the game could be good, then ask yourself this: Are hammers good? The answer is obviously yes, and since Project H.A.M.M.E.R. is all about hammers, it stands to reason the game is good. 

Legacy Comments (will be imported soon)

Sir Tobbii

I fully agree with these reasons.

Ursu

This is truly an "art game" that deserves to be made.

TysonQ7

Jim, you are amazing.

Jonathan Holmes

hammer time

Lord of the Thunder

FINALLY!!!

I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

dojo

This made me laugh a lot. No one has posted any comments that I can see yet, but I hope no one else has made a 'hammer time' reference yet.

Hammer time.

PiggyGamer

H.A.M.M.E.R.
Heavy Action Metallic Mashing Eventually Released

emorymdotcom

Investigative journalism at it's finest.

dojo

Fuck.

dojo

Fuck.

Wrath and Pride

Dem realistic graphics.

PiggyGamer

Also, after reading this article, the word hammer has ceased to mean anything to my brain.

pocky

too bad the wii blows

arkane9

And people say Nintendo doesn't create new IPs any more.
They made ProjectHAMMER. They just didn't bother to finish and release it, that's all.

Faux Furry

Pull back the (Project)H.A.M.M.E.R. and give it a shot!

Alan Argentina

I want this like I want somebody to love, like I need somebody to love.

I better find some somebody to love.

Lowlander2

So do you want it back or not?

Captain of the Zanarkand Abes

I agree with all your reasons except #8.

long john

this was an "art" post
beautiful

Dreamweaver

@Jonathan Holmes
Really? REALLY?
...
Totally stole my joke, man; not cool

Zarwid Thwic

Sucks that H.A.M.M.E.R and Sadness were cancelled. What about that "Winter" game?

Faux Furry

Maybe later on in the game they'd add in Meteor Hammers or have Oh Dae-Su as a hidden playable character?

TheProfessor234

But, will there be more than just one hammer, or will we get a full range of different hammer that do different things? I would like a giant hammer that would smash things differently than that other guys giant hammer that crushes things.

Mr Andy Dixon

Sky Wood Sword

Noir Trilby

Every time I see it, Project H.A.M.M.E.R is so hype!

LT Large

Dem hammers

Scrustle

Reason 7 is obviously the most persuasive. It could stand on it's own as enough reason to make the game. I'm convinced.

EternalDeathSlayer

When did Jim Sterling start mailing it in? This pales in comparison to other lists you've made. It feels like you're going through the motions with this one.

Faux Furry

Maybe, when someone used the phrase "drop the hammer", they mistakenly thought that they were referring to Project H.A.M.M.E.R. and, being eager to please,did so?

UltorOscariot

Could we get Nintendo to publish a new Red Faction Guerilla instead? I'd rather have that than a new 2D Mario game or Zelda title, Skyward Swords shit motion controls have greatly reduced any enthusiasm I had for that series.

homohabilis

Brilliant. I'll never think of hammers the same ever again.


Hammers.

RenegadePanda

This must be the prequel to that racing game Nail'd.

Faux Furry

They need to think up an acronym for W.A.R. to stick in front of H.A.M.M.E.R. so they can leech a bit of popularity away from that other series with Hammer and War in the title.
Was Already Retired/Rejected? Worm Anal Reaming? White And Rugged? Weeblos Are Radical?

The Mockbuster route is always the high road, no?

Philosophy of a Ruling Class

...the H.A.M.M.E.R. is my penis.

Street Flighter

I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops. And Coco Pops are gross.

tehTommy

I'm in love with this article.

djnealb

Sure it has hammers, but does it have nails?

Fuzunga

Ok, but only if you can play as MC Hammer.

Faux Furry

@djnealb- When you only have a hammer, everything begins to look like nails.

Son of Makuta

It'd be really funny if they released this as an art game. With, like, three-tone cel-shaded graphics and stuff. And it'd be about ten minutes long.

Darren Nakamura

I think you make a good argument, but I'd also add that it'd be nice if there were hammers in the game.

PrinceHeir

I want to Hammer people :P

Zakku Redwolf

Please don't bring back this game.

Sæglópur

This is the Too Human sequel I've been waiting for.

Yes, I'm serious. I was a fan.

shaxam1029

"sugary crap" :)

Jyystelli

Grethiwha

This was the best article because it was about hammers (and hammers are obviously good).

Also you used the word hammer 44 times.

nfm1337

Finally something that makes sense!

OrangeArmy

A Superb Mario's Galaxy 2 is far superior to the first one, and it can be argued that A Legendary Zelda: Alarm Clock of the Wind Currents is the superior ALZ game.

Levito

Wait a minute... This game has a FUCKING HAMMER?