Joke of the Day

What Not To Say To A Pregnant Woman

If your wife or girlfriend is pregnant, you might want to avoid saying these:

"Sure you'll get your figure back. We'll just search 1985 to see where you left it."

"How come you're so much fatter than the other chicks in Lamaze?"

"What's the big deal? If you can handle 'me' going in, surely you can handle a baby coming out."

"Hey, when you're finished puking in there, get me a beer, will ya?"

"Yo, fatass! You're blocking the TV!"

"Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Anderson had a baby!"

"I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!"

"Damn if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."

"Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."

"Got milk?"

"Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney."