The reality of 'no-go' areas

David Cameron and Boris Johnson were members of the notoriously selective Bullingdon Club

In the past few days, I have been approached by three separate media organisations to help construct a feature based on the premise that there are "no-go areas" for Jews in Britain.

Clearly inspired by the extraordinary secret video recorded by journalist Zvika Klein as he walked through the streets of a Parisian suburb, the national newspaper, international website and the TV station all asked if I could help find a suitable venue through which, presumably, a Jewish guinea pig minding his own business (it had to be a he, insisted the website) could be spat at and abused.

I had no hesitation in turning down the lucrative offers because I'm adamant that the thesis they are seeking to prove is utter bilge. There are no no-go areas for Jews, I told them, and to pretend that there are, in order to create a sensationalist headline or video that will go viral so that these news brands can bask in the glory of hatred, would be provocatively disingenuous.

And then I wondered if perhaps my rejection had been too hasty. Maybe there are places in Britain where Jews are not welcome, where religious and ethnic minorities are treated with distrust and disdain, where the colour of your skin or brand of religion can still drag you back even in these enlightened times.

Yes, I thought, my news-hound colleagues are right, there are no-go areas and we should be exposing them. But instead of walking through darkened down-town streets where tattooed thugs or hate-filled Jihadi-wannabes stand menacingly on corners (which I assume are the images the blinkered media executives have imagined), I wonder whether we need to look a little closer to home.

Let's start with fusty golf clubs, perhaps throw in a few tennis clubs too. The places where they only like accepting the "right sort". Unless, like Richard Caring, you're rich enough to buy the club and rise above the sneers.

I once worked with a keen golfer who, in a moment of extraordinary candour, admitted to me that the best thing about being a valued member of his upmarket golf course was that "they don't accept, you know, outsiders, Grant. I'm not sure if you'd get in to be honest, not unless you start going to church." And he hoped I took his guffaws as evidence that he was just winding me up.

How about gobby Students Unions with their faux-Trotskyite, Israel-baiters who can't distinguish between Jews in general and West Bank settlers. Certain elements of the aristocracy, of course, have and always will have no-go areas, particularly among the protectionist privileged who take umbrage at the presence of uppity outsiders. I wonder how many Jews or ethnic minorities are accepted into the Bullingdon Club?

Another no-go area would be to wear a kippah among the visiting crowd when Chelsea or West Ham play away. Or indeed many teams outside of the gilded Premiership. Only now are we waking up to the fact that the tame middle-class-isation of our national sport has failed to expunge the poison of racism. And it never will. What does everyone in the £100 seats think those strange hissing sounds mean? But I don't think that was the aim of the "no-go" commissioning editors, who wouldn't want to upset the clubs, sponsors and besuited powers that be.

I think the story they wanted was a religious not a racist one. They want their readers and viewers to think that antisemitism and racism is not their problem, not a problem for the middle classes to worry too much about in their comfortable bastions of WASPishness - it belongs somewhere else. It's easier that way. Reinforce the lazy stereotypes that are designed to leave us feeling fearful of the outsider. So let's find some aggressive Muslim types, lob in a few curly-haired Jews and see what happens. Ukip would love that one.

Oh yes, that's another no-go area. Why any Jew would want to be part of a political party constructed out of loathing of immigrants is a mystery to me, a second generation immigrant with plenty of Romanian and Polish blood. Or Polack and gypo blood as a former newspaper colleague used to love to call them.

Along with pooftahs, thieving wops and slanty-eyed types. That's another no-go area for ethnic minorities. The top tables of some hideously white media organisations. Plenty of boardrooms too. Our twin political houses have made efforts to change in this respect but they are still woefully under-representative as well.

My point is there are no-go areas not just for Jews but for all minorities, though perhaps not where we, in our privileged middle-class bubbles, like to think they are. They exist in front of our eyes but we choose to adopt a hear-no-evil, see-no-evil attitude.

It reminds me of something a friend said on our recent week's skiing holiday in a chi-chi Austrian resort that tends to host royalty and boisterous masters of the universe, with fur-lined wives who seem vaguely familiar from the school run.

Debating the next day's skiing, a couple of beginners in our party wanted to make sure we stuck to blue slopes rather than hurtle down any black runs. "Don't worry," said the expert in our group, "I can guarantee there are no blacks here."

Ain't that the truth.