I have no idea where this is going, but I think I may have uncovered something very big. And rather than keeping it to myself, I want to put it out there to see if anyone else can help take this theory forward.

Take a look at the painting that Rolf Harris did of the Queen a few years back. 

Notice anything odd? Probably not. Now take a closer look. 

Look at her Majesty's face. Now look at Rolf's face. 

Now back at the Queen

Now Rolf

Now Liz

That is not the Queen in the portrait. It's Rolf. Look at the nose. The mouth. The cheeky aussie eyebrow raise. 

I believe that Rolf Harris has painted himself into the picture of the queen. Why? I don't yet know. Is he planning a takeover (Remember the end of Blackadder 2)? I don't know. I can't tell what it is yet. But I'm on to it. 

If anyone can help build my theory, please leave your comment below. 

My best friend Emmy (Emmy The Great) has recently decided to raise funds her second album by pre-selling the record to people on pledgemusic.com (http://www.pledgemusic.com/projects/emmythegreat) As well as this she's auctioning up some additional items/activities - like "receive a postcard from every stop on the tour" or "get a song writing lesson with Emmy", etc - to help raise the required dollars.

So far, this has worked spectacularly well and the album fund is getting bigger every day. Which is great news. But looking at the list of things people can buy, I've realised that with some clever sneakery, I could (and rightfully should) be making some serious dough too. And so I offer these items and for very good prices. 

1. A photo of Emmy's boobs - £200 (or £ 100 a boob)

2. A lock of Emmy's hair  - £ 40

3. The chance to "Almost have a baby" with Emmy - £1,550 

4. A phone conversation with Emmy in which she simply says, "mmmm" and "you're so hot" & "well howdy doody" for 10 minutes - £50

5. A half hour discussion with Emmy on the "wonderfulness of Michelle Obama" - £Priceless

Please email thesundayschreiber@gmail.com with your bid. 

Ps. This is not a joke. I will add more auction items if the first few sell well. 

This is Emmy:

www.myspace.com/emmythegreat