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  • [-]Has anyone ever complained to you about your kids at a restaurant? Have you ever said something to other parents at a restaurant about their kids? What situation, in your opinion, would warrant saying something?

    37 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    01.25.09, 10:15 AM [ Flag ]
    • no, no, none

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      01.25.09, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Not is restaurants, but I've had some mean glances and eye rolls on the subway when 3 year old dd moves around on the seat...

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      01.25.09, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • No, never about my kids. The only time I ever said something was to a table of 4 moms with toddlers. These moms chatted among themselves and paid no attention to their kids. One almost ran into a waiter carrying several dishes. One actually did run into the kitchen and a waiter had to carry him out.

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      01.25.09, 10:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Someone once told me to "get a muffler" for ds at the end of a flight (an extremely short flight on which then 2 yo ds was pretty good). A total stranger turned around and told the guy off - said that ds was very well behaved and that the complainer should put a sock in it.

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      01.25.09, 10:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Never, no, if kids are disturbing others (would be more inclined to speak to waiter or manager than confronting myself, though).

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      01.25.09, 10:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • WWYD if someone came over to your table -- a large party with 3 sets of parents plus other adults and 6 kids -- to say "tell your kid to stop screaming." Maybe some of the kids had gotten boisterous, and were spoken to already, but none had "screamed." The comment was directed at the entire table, and no particular child singled out by the complainer.

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      01.25.09, 10:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I'd tell kids to be quiet. Your "boisterous" is another person's "screaming".

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        01.25.09, 10:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I would say "I'm sorry about that." and tell the kids that they have to behave, sit down and be quiet.

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        01.25.09, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • if you had already had to speak to the children they were obviously too loud. Why do you think it is OK to let them continue?

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        01.25.09, 11:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I've noticed that many adults tend to be automatically way more critical of kids in a restaurant than other adults. I'd love to see someone do a test comparing a group with a couple of kids and a group of all adults. I think loud, poorly behaved adults will get way more slack than the kids, even if they are much louder, decibel wise.

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        01.25.09, 02:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • yes. was at a museum restaurant. 3 kids (all my friend's) were getting restless, nothing major, but food was getting on the floor. some europeans made a big show of getting up to leave because because of us and came over and told us "children don't belong in museums".

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      01.25.09, 11:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I've never complained. Got one dirty look and one complaint about ds--both of which were deserved and impossible to stop. Ds out of the blue just threw his whole body back against a banquette that backed up to another banquette and the whole thing shook. We apologized profusely. For many months after that we always asked for table with chairs and avoided a banquette. He's fine in a chair.

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      01.25.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I have complained about dvd players with no head phones. media in a restaurant is obnoxious.

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      01.25.09, 01:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • np ITA. If your kid needs a dvd player to behave, you should stay home. The no headphones thing is beyond belief--though I experienced this in a plane once. Two siblings, two dvd players playing two different movies. No headphones and high enough volume to hear very well in the next row. I think the surrounding passengers (myself included) were so stunned that the mother could be such a self-centered twit that no one complained to her or the flight attendant.

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        01.25.09, 01:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • This happens on the Amtrak train to me all the time. Number one: kids don't belong in BUSINESS CLASS. Number two: HEADPHONES!

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          01.25.09, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • Why not? If the parents can afford it, why shouldn't they sit in whatever class of the plane/train they choose to with their child. If you were right, they wouldn't sell tickets in those classes for kids. But they do.

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            01.25.09, 02:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Np. Ugh. Kids in business. HATE that.

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              01.25.09, 02:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • Well, you'd find my (very well-behaved) dcs in first class. No one has EVER complained, but people have stopped by to praise them. Too bad if you hate it.

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                01.25.09, 02:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Gay Uncle here. One night in a bar/restaurant in Chelsea, I was hanging with my friends, who were getting a bit overly-excited in their discussion. The woman behind us tapped me on the shoulder and said "Excuse me, could you watch your language? I have a child here." I turned around and said in a loud voice, "Honey, if you don't want your grandson to hear the word 'FUCK', then you shouldn't drag him to a FUCKING bar in FUCKING Chelsea!" The rest of the patrons applauded. The woman -- who insisted she was the boy's MOTHER (who knew?) -- marched out with the boy.

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      01.25.09, 01:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Fortunately, I generally get nice comments in resturants about my 3 dcs - but the same kids get glares on airplanes. Same children, different responses from the "public". I would only say something to another Mom if I thought that I could help out somehow or if the other child was touching my dcs (which has happened).

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      01.25.09, 01:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • no. in fact, people on planes have complimented dc for being so well-behaved. i have never complained about anyone's dcs. though i do think those with young dcs who are not perfect little angels should not take them to super fancy restaurants at prime time.

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      01.25.09, 02:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • no, no, never. myob

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      01.25.09, 02:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]What was your mother like growing up?

    38 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    01.24.09, 07:50 PM [ Flag ]
    • painfully shy. quiet. reserved.

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      01.24.09, 07:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • and yours?

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        01.24.09, 07:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • op: My mom was a sweetheart. She still is but I think I was asking the question wondering what my ds would say when he grows up. I think I saw the answer below- that I yelled a lot but I loved him dearly. Maybe too much. I literally sing songs of love for him all day long! He finds it annoying.

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          01.24.09, 08:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • That's me below... I have a friend who never raises her voice and rarely if ever points out her dc shortcomings (not that she falsely praises or anything, just calm cool collected) - that simply isn't me. I am who I am. I'm a good mom. That is good enough for me.

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            01.24.09, 08:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • ITA. Is your friend an affectionate mom though? If she's calm, cool and collected, she may also be cold and distant. There are upsides and downsides to all types of moms.

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              01.24.09, 08:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • frugal neatfreak (I appreciate both)

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      01.24.09, 08:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • i wish i were a neatfreak

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        01.24.09, 08:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Did you appreciate it then or in hindsight you appreciate it?

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        01.24.09, 08:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • The neatfreak, not so much. Every Saturday morning we all had to get up and clean our rooms and then had various responsibilities in the house. The frugal yes. We had very little money - but my mom was so good with money that no one knew it.

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          01.24.09, 08:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • op: sorry, I meant what was she like when YOU were growing up not when she was growing up. Did you mean she was a painfully shy and reserved as a mother?

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      01.24.09, 08:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • My mother never thought she was better than anyone else. She was always kind to other people. After she visited me in New York for the first time, for years afterward the drug dealers on my block always asked me how my moms was.

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      01.24.09, 08:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Very, very loving and affectionate, but also strict, a bit of a nag, and took her responsibility of being a mother VERY seriously. Great mom.

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      01.24.09, 08:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Doesn't sound like a NY mom-- a midwest mom or a southern mom...? Definitely not a ny mom

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        01.24.09, 08:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • West Indian, but we did live in New York before settling in FL.

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          01.24.09, 08:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • West Indian, of course! It doesn't really matter that you lived in NY. West Indians are generally zen- with some exceptions.

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            01.24.09, 08:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Funny, I wouldn't call my mom zen. lol. She could scream like the rest of them, but because she was very clear that she wanted the best for me, I knew it was all out of love. My mom came here for college and so she really stressed education. Growing up in the States with West Indian parents gave me the best of both worlds, I think.

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              01.24.09, 09:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • That's great. My mom had us because she wanted babies, but never thought about the fact that we would grow up and have minds and lives of our own.

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        01.24.09, 09:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • insane and she has gotten worse over time, i hate her.

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      01.24.09, 08:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • I hear you. See below for my story. My mother wounded me so deeply. When I first met my husband... boy the mess he had to deal with.

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        01.24.09, 09:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Unreliable, paranoid, volatile and moody. Still is.

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      01.24.09, 08:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • fearful, overly protective, loving, always there, we were her life

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      01.24.09, 09:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I love my mother, but she sucked. My dad too. They made sure we had a roof over our heads and food to eat. My mom is a complete nut job. I'm surprised that I came out reality sane. She terrorized me, picked on me, verbally abused me, etc. She hated it when I was college, because she couldn't win any arguments with me. She said that she should have never allowed me to go to college. Isn't that unbelievable

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      01.24.09, 09:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • Wow. That's unbelievable. A genuine question. Did you ever think that you were very stubborn and strong-willed that it was hard for your mother to deal with? Or was she just a terrorizer of a parent?

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        01.25.09, 11:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • wonderful, fun, over-protective, cool, great listener, interesting, joyful

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      01.25.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Think ... Suzanne Pleshette meets Carol Brady. Suburban mom, raised 4 kids, ran a business from home, as well as running the church's Christian Mothers, the PTA, and the Band Boosters.

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      01.25.09, 01:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • a b*tch. still is.

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      01.25.09, 02:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]anyone think its possible to find a housekeeper/nanny to work 30 hours week for under $400? (in NYC)

    77 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]
    01.23.09, 04:53 AM [ Flag ]
    • you could probaly find a Nanny for that amount, a housekeeper is a different position as in Nanny one position. housekeeper another position.

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      01.23.09, 06:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • you just may,but this person will not stay , as soon as they find something which pays more they will leave , especially if you want heavy housekeeping.Also housekeeping will deny your kids precious time to do things with the nanny.

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      01.25.09, 08:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • $13/hour to do both jobs? Good luck with that. Maybe you'll find yourself a nice illegal.

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      01.25.09, 08:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • A nice illegal with an IQ of 70. Even in this economy, who'd do housekeeper/nanny job for $400?!

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        01.25.09, 09:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • You must not think very highly of your children if you're willing to economize to such a ridiculous degree on their care. So sad.

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      01.25.09, 08:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • dont be rude--maybe thats what she has to spend. i cant afford to hire anyone to do anything

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        01.25.09, 09:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • If she has $400 to spend, she should understand that she'll be cleaning her own toilets.

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          01.25.09, 09:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • thats why she is asking--why are you all so rude

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            01.25.09, 09:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • We're just giving her a reality check. It's rude to assume someone would work for slave wages.

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              01.25.09, 09:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Because she's basically looking for slave labor.

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              01.25.09, 09:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • i moved here and thought i would hire a person to do some child care and some cleaning...........most of these people are so f-ing lazy its unbelievable. MOST Nannys in NYC are NOT "A "nanny" is an educated and experienced child care professional who not only watches but actively helps in the development of a child. She is not a babysitter. She does not do the laundry or scrub toilets. "..................if they are in fact not what is written above then why do they deserve wages that assumes they are that?

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                01.25.09, 09:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • "Deserve" wages? If you want a nanny, get a nanny (if you can afford one). If you want a housekeeper, get a housekeeper. You should not expect either to do both jobs. Does YOUR employer expect you to empty the wastebaskets and freshen up the restrooms in addition to your regular duties?

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                  01.25.09, 09:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • people in all walks of life are going to become very used to doing things they previously thought themselves too good for...................

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                    01.25.09, 09:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • If that's what she has to spend, then she can't afford the service. Just because you feel you have a "need" for a service doesn't mean providers should always come down to meet your price.

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          01.25.09, 09:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • ITTA. It's for this reason the title "nanny" has been so bastardized. A "nanny" is an educated and experienced child care professional who not only watches but actively helps in the development of a child. She is not a babysitter. She does not do the laundry or scrub toilets. But this is bascially what the majority of women are looking for -- and what they're willing to PAY for ... babysitters who'll also scrub the toilets.

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            01.25.09, 09:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Problem is that the vast majority of these babysitters won't scrub toilets. Now that the economy is down said toilet, though, I guess some of them won't have much choice. But I'm sure they'll be bitter and start relieving you of the contents of your jewelry box any chance they get.

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              01.25.09, 09:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • Nor should they be expected to scrub toilets. Extra work should translate into extra pay. Babysitters get $13-15/hour. Housekeepers get close to $25/hour. If you want someone who'll do two jobs, be prepared to PAY for both jobs -- at $35-40/hour.

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                01.25.09, 09:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • LOL. Right. These are tough times, and illegals (especially) are going to be scrubbing a lot of toilets.

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                  01.25.09, 09:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • maybe not anymore now that the people who EMPLOY are making less

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                  01.25.09, 09:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • Doesn't matter. If you're making less ... that just means you can no longer afford the SERVICE. Looks like you might have to get re-acquainted with the toilet brush, hon. Hint: Wear rubber gloves -- they'll save your manicure!

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                    01.25.09, 09:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • LMAO! Guess we should all tell our employers that they can no longer afford our services!

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                      01.25.09, 09:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • LOL ... assuming she ever WAS acquainted with a toilet brush! About the dirtiest thing most of these lazy and overprivileged women have ever had thair hands inside was fishing around for the Gold AmEx card inside last year's Gucci handbag.

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                      01.25.09, 09:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                      • bitter?

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                        01.25.09, 09:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • Nope! Just amused. I have nothing to be bitter about. I could easily afford a staff of cleaning people, but I prefer to clean my own house. Keeps one humble.

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                          01.25.09, 09:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • goody for you-so you are obtuse. if you can afford all that so easily then you ahve no idea what financial constraints the OP might be under....doesnt make her bad

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                          01.25.09, 09:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • Devaluing a person's livelihood by offering slave wages DOES make her a bad person.

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                          01.25.09, 09:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • since you can afford a staff of people why do you go screw yourself b/c you cant relate to her and so your advice and perspective is meaningless

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                          01.25.09, 09:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                      • You mean platinum.

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                        01.25.09, 09:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • No. I mean Gold. Most of these women -- despite the airs they put on -- don't qualify for The Platinum Card.

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                          01.25.09, 09:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • Anyone can qualify for the Platinum card if you pay the fee - it's the black card that you need to "qualify" for

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                          01.25.09, 01:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • Actually, that's not the case. Platinum requires $120K HHI.

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                          01.25.09, 01:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • np No. You have to have a very good credit rating to qualify. Otherwise all these idiots who bought houses they couldn't afford a few years ago would also have $500 a year Amexes.

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                          01.25.09, 01:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • Actually, you just proved MY point rather than yours. You need good credit AND at least $120K HHI. People with low incomes but "great" credit were the ones who ended up in houses they couldn't afford. And BTW, we don't all pay $500/year for AmExes.

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                          01.25.09, 01:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • Plenty of people with iffy credit bought houses, actually.

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                          01.25.09, 02:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                        • Mortgage broker here. It's easier to get a mortgage with good credit and low income rather than "iffy" credit and high income. Strange but true. Of course, things are finally changing.

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                          01.25.09, 02:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • you are such a moron--I have been posting about the reality check people will need to take about what they are worth. i work and clean my own toilets............and have never had a nanny

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                      01.25.09, 09:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • The right wage, hon, is what the market will bear--and it's not $35 or $40 for an uneducated illegal to wipe some butts and clean some toilets.

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                      01.25.09, 09:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Do you want someone who would work for cheap in NYC? Think about it. You are going to entrust your children to someone who can only get a job making $12 per hour.

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      01.25.09, 01:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I know someone who does livein and cleans for 400/wk. she is very unhappy in her current situation.

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      01.25.09, 02:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • yes. lots of people looking for work these days.

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      01.25.09, 02:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • YOu can get an aupair for around $300 a week. An aupair is not a full fledge housekeeper, they do light household chores that pertain to the children. But anyone knows when you have young children they make most of the mess. Then you can always get a cleaning lady once a week to come in to do the hard stuff like toilets and stuff. Much more affordable option. I am a local coordinator for an agency. I know how to find great aupairs. Let me know if you want some info.

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      01.25.09, 02:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
  • [-]which would you give up first? top quality nanny (put kid in daycare), car (but we live in remote neighborhood), cleaning lady, organic, hi quality groceries (we cook 100 percent of time), cable tv/internet/cell phones? trying to make difficult cuts.

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    01.24.09, 05:12 PM [ Flag ]
    • get rid of nanny and send to daycare

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      01.24.09, 05:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Get rid of nanny and raise your own kids.

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      01.24.09, 05:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • gotta go to work

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        01.24.09, 05:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Why?

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          01.24.09, 05:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • huh? to pay the bills?

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            01.24.09, 05:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • If both you and DH "need" to work just to pay the bills, you're living beyond your means.

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              01.24.09, 05:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • since when was that the standard? it's pretty unheard of for a family these days to survive on one salary in NYC. i work for a not for profit, and the $ i keep after paying the nanny may not be much but it makes all the difference to us.

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                01.24.09, 05:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • It's only "unheard of" in your limited social circle of people who are apparently working overtime to keep up with the Joneses and the Trumps.

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                  01.24.09, 05:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • that's insane. i work for a non profit and all my friends do too, or they're in low paying creative fields. that's why we can't survive on one salary. jesus, you are so off base.

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                    01.24.09, 05:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • that's a myth, actually. the whole double-income, latte-swilling indulgents. because the cost of housing and education (that is, college education and the money it takes to live in a neighborhood with a decent k-12) have risen so insanely since our parents' genration, this is where the money is going. there's a good book on this topic. i'll post a link if you like.

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                    01.24.09, 05:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • There's an even better book explaining the fallacy of the two-parent income ... and the trap that parents fall into in this obsessive saving-for-college-for-the-kids culture. Believe it or not, it's not the parents' responsibility to send their kids to college (or to private school, for that matter). That's why God created school loans, work-study programs, and part-time jobs for college students.

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                      01.24.09, 05:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                      • np: Obviously you and the op (and I) have different values regarding this issue, so perhaps you can give an answer that is useful to her situation rather than telling her to change her values and lifestyle to suit you.

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                        01.24.09, 07:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                      • Um, god did not create school loans, work-study programs OR part-time jobs. Just saying...

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                        01.24.09, 11:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • studies prove otherwise, actually. but if it makes you feel good to spout nonsense, rock on.

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                01.24.09, 05:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • What "studies"? The ones you pulled out of your ass to justify living beyond your means? Please. It's simple economics. Live within your means, have a TRUE division of labor at home (one parent works, the other stays home -- mom/dad it doesn't matter), and you won't need to outsource your domestic help.

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                  01.24.09, 05:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • um, hello? tell that to the immigrant couple who work as a cleaning lady and a construction worker to pay the bills. you are so clueless.

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                01.24.09, 05:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • She asked for an answer to her question not a judgement!

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                01.24.09, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • those of us with nannies are raising our kids just fine, thanks. isn't there a bible study group you need to attend? or a protest at an abortion clinic?

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        01.24.09, 05:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • Actually you're not. Get rid of the nanny and raise your own kids. There. One major expense down! Clean your own home and get rid of the cleaning lady. Another major expense gone!

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          01.24.09, 05:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • yeah, i would have said that before i got one. turns out all my friends secretly have one too (we're not in finance or anything so it's an unexpected luxury). i feel like this woman has changed my quality of life! i could never, ever find the time to clean this place like she does. and it's a major luxury to have a clean house.

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            01.24.09, 05:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • Stay at home, raise your own kids, and you'll find you have plenty of time not only to clean the house, but pursue other interests as well.

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              01.24.09, 05:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • i stayed at home for 6 mo and am thrilled to be back at work. i love my job. love db but am not cut out to care for a baby 80 hours a week.

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                01.24.09, 05:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • np:i stay home most of the week with two toddlers and find it very hard to clean a house or do anything but take care of them (which i love)- forget about "pursuing other interests"

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                01.24.09, 05:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • You're apparently not budgeting your time wisely. I raised four kids, stayed at home, took care of all the domestic responsibilities, and earned a law degree in my "spare" time. All of this in an era before computers, email, cell phones, and even microwave ovens. It can be done.

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                  01.24.09, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • and that experience has obviously taken its toll because you sound horribly harsh and bitter.

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                    01.24.09, 05:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • That's it. Lash out at my success because you can't get your act together. Nice lesson for your kids, MOM.

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                      01.24.09, 05:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                      • you're not the brightest, are you? most lawyers, i think, would have the reading comprehension skills to understand that i'm lashing out at your harsh, angry ATTITUDE, not at your mothering/career choices. You sound truly disgusting and awfully unhappy.

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                        01.24.09, 05:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • no microwave ovens? you must be very old

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                    01.24.09, 05:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • apparently you are super mom. I wonder what your kids think of you

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                    01.24.09, 06:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • Are you kidding? SAHM here and I don't find that to be true at all. Maybe my kids not spending enough time watching TV.

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                01.24.09, 07:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • no, we are. even those of us with f/t nannies spend as many waking hours with our dc as our nanny does. and i can tell you that there are incredibly well-adjusted dcs who were "raised by nannies" in our school and complete nightmares raised by helicopter moms. i realize you need to feel superior because your really think someone who can afford the $300 handbag you can't doesn't deserve to have dcs, but it really doesn't work that way.

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            01.24.09, 05:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • If you're home full-time you don't need a full-time nanny.

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              01.24.09, 05:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
              • and no one here is talking about sahms with f/t nannies. try to work on those reading comprehension skills when you're not on your santimommy high horse and we'll get back to you next round. thanks for playing.

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                01.24.09, 05:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                • Try to work on YOUR reading comprehension: NO NANNIES NECESSARY, EVER -- when you're raising your own kids.

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                  01.24.09, 05:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                  • well, that's your OPINION. which has nothing to do with reading comprehension skills the fact that you think the above post has something to do with sahms with f/t nannies pretty much proves you're a moron. and one who, in her embarrassment, has to indignantly play the sophomoric "i know you are, but what am i??" card.

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                    01.24.09, 05:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                    • OK ... I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say in that paragraph. Take a chill pill, refocus, and get back to us when you've gotten a grip on things, hon.

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                      01.24.09, 05:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
                      • i think everyone here can see you've made a stupid gaffe. instead of being a blowhard and drawing attention to it, maybe you should just log off quietly.

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                        01.24.09, 06:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • $300. isn't a particularly expensive handbag and there is no pattern to 'cut-out' for the ideal mom. This is a dumb argument.

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              01.24.09, 10:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • cleaning lady and/or cable tv

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      01.24.09, 05:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I'd choose good daycare over nanny any day--even if I had all the money in the world.

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      01.24.09, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • why? they get so sick in daycare but with a good nanny they can have a nice bond and one on one attention

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        01.24.09, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
      • no such thing as good daycare imo. kennels. might as well park your dc at doggy daycare.

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        01.24.09, 06:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • NP: My dd was taken care of from 8 mo to 5yr by a SAHM with 2 children of her own, one the same age as dd. Rarely had any other kids there. Paid $10/hour. NJ burb btw, in case you think I live in Appalachia. So don't say all daycare is like kennels -- you are talking out of your ass

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          01.24.09, 07:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
          • np. i would never leave my dc with a sahm with 2 of her own unless she were a gf. i don't see why you think this is so great. even the $10/hour is not all that.

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            01.24.09, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
            • She has become a great friend. Had great references from many other moms and from the nun at my church. Was an absoluted wonderful set up and since dd is an only child, her dd is like a sister to my dd. I realize that not everyone has the option. Never any outward favoritism towards her dd. In fact, seemed to treat my dd better.

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              01.24.09, 07:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
        • my kids were at a great daycare, where they had fun, played, socialized and learned that the world did not completely revolve around them. They occasionally had to to wait to "have their needs met". It was the best decision I could ever have made. I have seen too many nannies shopping, texting, chatting, and generally ignoring their children. There are very good nannies, but I wouldn't have traded my daycare experience for anything.

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          01.24.09, 08:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • np We're cutting down, too. The first thing that went was the cleaning lady. Yes, I hate cleaning the house, and I certainly don't vlean as well as she did, but it's a luxury to have a cleaning lady - so, in times of need, you cut out the luxuries! I'd also really look at prices at the grocery store. You can get a week's worth of groceries without it costing a fortune if you make smart choices. As for cable, we only get basic for reception, then do Netflix. Saves a ton of money!

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      01.25.09, 12:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • nanny

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      01.25.09, 04:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • I would review the finances and see if it is worth to do the nanny part time and day care part time. They usually cost about the same either way. Depending on how old the kids are they can survive in day care. I would get rid of the cleaning lady. How many times does she come? You can do a cleaning service and have them come every other week or once a week. You don't have to cut you have to find better deals. You can also go to costco to buy in bulk every day supplies. and minimize organic when you can.

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      01.25.09, 05:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • Cable TV. Examine grocery bill. Reduce cleaning lady hours. Cheaper car/ cheaper parking for car if you have to use it often. If you don't use the car often, get rid of it.

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      01.25.09, 05:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
    • You don't have to give up anything. Nannies are so expensive. You can still get top quality childcare for an affordable price by going with an aupair. Aupairs have lots of experience and they are young and energetic but if you go with an agency you can pay only $300ish a week total instead of the outrageous nanny costs. I have been the local coordinator for Cultural Care aupair for 15 years here in NYC. Aupairs are great. Why pay top nanny prices for the same childcare quality. If you want to know more you can reach me. I had auapirs for 7 years and it was the best thing I ever did for my kids. I was still able to afford the cleaning lady, cell phones, 2 cars and private school. call me if you want to talk. 718-667-4104 Donna

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      01.25.09, 02:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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