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[+] Ferber vs. Weissbluth? How long did it take your DB to CIO? 10 replies
Talk : : February 12, 2009
Ferber vs. Weissbluth? How long did it take your DB to CIO?
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.12.09, 06:49 PM [ Flag ]How old was your DD? For how long did she cry? Thinking of biting the bullet this weekend.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]She was four months old. We started it at night - I figured I'd have more will power if my husband was there too. DD cried for close to 45 minutes. Weissbluth says to max out at an hour, so I was watching the clock! The next morning, I put her down for her morning nap, and there was some resistence, but no crying. Again for pm nap. Then night came, and there was again crying, but only 30 minutes this time. The third day, no resistence to naps or night time sleep! She's 12 months now, and sleeps just fine. Of course there are occasion wakings at night, but she goes back to sleep by herself, after a minute or so.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]One more thought: if your baby is less than three months, I've heard you shouldn't do it. Otherwise, good luck!!!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]DB is 4.5 m.o. Was going to start this weekend as it's a long weekend, but he slept fine last night (waking only once) so now I'm back to being undecided.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]See what happens tonight when you put him down. If he sleeps fine again, maybe you don't need to do anything. If not, I'd go ahead and do it. Since he seems to be going in that direction anyway, it probably won't be such a painful process.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks. He was doing fine (once or twice a night) until about two weeks ago when he woke every two hours and often cannot go back to sleep for another hour. I've been exhausted. Hopefully he's swinging back. I don't mind once or twice.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Maybe he's been teething? In any event, don't let it get into a habit! I've btdt... Hang in there.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks. I know everyone's BTDT, but it's so frustrating after he's been doing so well.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
That's too young.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 01:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] please help! 2.2yo - who used to be a good sleeper - will not go to asleep on his own...
Talk : : February 12, 2009
please help! 2.2yo - who used to be a good sleeper - will not go to asleep on his own. We put him in his crib (he's still in it) and then he cries when we walk out. we did the CIO thing when he was about 10 mos..and it worked like a charm. Are we supposed to do it again? Does it work for 2yo's? I've been trying to sit in chair in his room, that stops him from crying, but as soon as i get up, he cries. help!
[ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.12.09, 06:02 PM [ Flag ]
[+] CIO moms: 6 mo goes to bed no problem, partially awake but wakes up by midnight and ... 8 replies
Talk : : February 12, 2009
CIO moms: 6 mo goes to bed no problem, partially awake but wakes up by midnight and cries on/off ALL night, really never puts himself back to sleep. I feed him once, around 2am. Doing CIO but it just doesn't seem to be working. Advice?
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.12.09, 07:19 AM [ Flag ]How long have you been trying?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]4 nights. my #1 cried A LOT but would eventually fall asleep. I swear, #2 cries all night, just doesn't seem right and don't know what to do. also, am so exhausted
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]He might honestly still be hungry at 6mo to be only eating once a night. What time is he going to bed? If he is in bed at 7, say, until 2 that is 7 hours without eating. You might want to try feeding him at midnight when he wakes and try skipping the 2am wake up.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Have thought about that but all his "friends" are sleeping through and most sleep books say they should be able to sleep through by 6 mo. So, you're saying feed earlier and then ignore? Bedtime is 7:30/8pm
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You can't use those as yard sticks. Trust me, I have three kids and not only were none of them the same but they are so different from the books and their peers.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
are you feeding db solids? Maybe this would help. My ped said as a general rule after 5 mos they shoudln't need to eat at night.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]going to start solids any day. ds JUST turned 6 mo
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]might help but db probably just waking out of habit, not hunger. Maybe you can increase db's bedtime bottle size?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] help. 3 year old ended up in our bed AGAIN last night after I took him back to bed on... 14 replies
- we've really been trying, but he's waking up 3-4 times in a night and at a certain point loses so much sleep he's miserable at school the next day. Ugh. He was always a great sleeper, too, so this is a total whammy. Never had to do CIO, no trouble moving from the crib. I guess everyone gets it at some point, huh? Did you/DH stay in bed with dd in her room when you walked back?...
Talk : : February 11, 2009
help. 3 year old ended up in our bed AGAIN last night after I took him back to bed once, DH once (and stayed with him for a few hours). We finally gave in at 4am so we could just get some rest. Clearly he has lost the ability to go back to sleep on his own/in his room when he wakes in the night, but we don't know why. How can I steer him back towards that? Signed, tired mom
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.11.09, 07:04 AM [ Flag ]it's rough. we went through this with dd when she was about 2 1/2, and she had always been a good sleeper. it took a couple weeks of not giving in, dh and I taking turns bringing her back to bed, but it worked. you have to just resign yourself to the exhaustion and be persistent.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]we've really been trying, but he's waking up 3-4 times in a night and at a certain point loses so much sleep he's miserable at school the next day. Ugh. He was always a great sleeper, too, so this is a total whammy. Never had to do CIO, no trouble moving from the crib. I guess everyone gets it at some point, huh? Did you/DH stay in bed with dd in her room when you walked back?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]dd woke up three or four times a night too and it definitely made our mornings ugly. we didn't stay in bed with her, just brought her back and tucked her in, said good night, and left. he'll eventually adjust, you just have to hang in there...
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. I know we need to do this. The problem is between me and DH, one of us always ends up caving even if the other is resolved. At some point you just want to sleeeepppppppp.....
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know, it's really awful and frustrating. good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
let him sleep on the floor of your room
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]have tried this, too. alas, he wakes up there, too after the initial sleep and keeps us all up. it's getting really frustrating.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
We had this problem w/ our 3yo after our second was born. First we taught him to recognize a 7 on the clock (as in 7 am). Then gave him a sticker on a chart for staying in bed until 7. It worked very quickly. He still gets up early occasionally, and then we go back to the stickers. That was enough for our (quite stubborn) son, but you can double down by giving him a treat/activity after collecting x number of stickers. Be careful, though - a couple of friends who were too liberal with the treats and have found themselves in endless negotiations.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]this isn't a getting up early problem, it's a middle of the night problem. my son is unfortunately totally immune to sticker charts! They seem to do everything for other people...
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We had seriously middle-of-the-night problems too - the deal was he had to stay in bed all night until 7. Maybe something else instead of sticker charts? I think the idea is to give him something to look forward to.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ serious
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Get him a really cool sleeping bag. It is harder to get out and don't let him bring it to your bed. Maybe he'll want to sleep with Blue (or whoever/whatever.)
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NR: great idea. and maybe let him select a new pillowcase with an image of his favorite character. same story as above - pillow only stays in his bed, not allowed in parents' bed.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks -or ps, I would add, talk this up as a great thing BUT NOT as a reason to stay in bed or any of that. That is your little secret. Just, "this sleeping bag is cool." If you order it on-line send it UPS ground and you could track it. (Hell, make up a Mapquest route and fake it for a few days to heighten the specialness of this.) But if/when he tries to bring it you say, "Honey, you and your awesome Capt Underpants Sleeping Bag have to stay in your bed."
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] if you used dr. weisbluth's sleeping techniques, did they work? and what age did you ... 11 replies
- NP: What did you do if you had a caretaker? I feel badly asking my nanny to let baby CIO, but the weekend isn't enough time....
- Our CIO took 2 days. It wasn't to eliminate night wakings (that went on until 8 mos) but it was to have DC fall...
Talk : : February 10, 2009
if you used dr. weisbluth's sleeping techniques, did they work? and what age did you start?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.10.09, 10:36 AM [ Flag ]yes. They worked beautifully. Started at 5 months and did exactly as he instructed in his book for naps and bedtime.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: What did you do if you had a caretaker? I feel badly asking my nanny to let baby CIO, but the weekend isn't enough time.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You have to be consistent. Maybe take a day off?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Really? 3 days is all it takes?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Our CIO took 2 days. It wasn't to eliminate night wakings (that went on until 8 mos) but it was to have DC fall asleep by herself.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
He saved our sanity. #1 started at 3mo, #2 from birth.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, they saved us. I recommend this book to all parents. I started dd at 8 months and ds from birth. They are great sleepers! I truly beleive he is spot on. For us my dd was not sleeping enough during the day and going to bed way too late at night. My ds soothed himself from birth and gets himself to sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Tried the weisbluth. Horrible experience, though it sort of worked some of the time. I would say a 15% improvement in sleep, as weighed against a 400% increase in shrieking to the point of vomiting. BUT YMMV -- some others have had great experiences with it and we may be in the minority.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]How old?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you started too late in db's life Weissbluth is not easy. It's best at 4-6 months, imo.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]6yrs. Just kidding, IIR it was about 4 months, but it was a while ago and I could be completely wrong about the age.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Please help! New mom here and 4 week old will absolutely not nap in crib . . . only i... 8 replies
- Don't you dare even consider CIO! He's WAY too young. My db would only nap when I was holding him for weeks....
- dont cio, but absolutely start putting him down once asleep. he'll learn to be ok with his space,...
- I know . . . way too young for CIO, but my pediatrician believes in it at this young age!...
Talk : : February 10, 2009
Please help! New mom here and 4 week old will absolutely not nap in crib . . . only in baby carrier or when I hold him. Please tell me this will end at some point. Not going to let him CIO at this age.
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.10.09, 09:49 AM [ Flag ]it will end but db will likely want to nap in carrier, swing, car seat -all these places for the next few months. do you have a bouncy seat or swing, if not, get one!! I've been you (although my worry was baby will enver nap in crib only in bouncy seat). Give it plenty of time. They let them sleep where they will sleep in the beginning. When db is a few more months old you can work on the crib thing. Trust me! GL it will get sooo much better and easier!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. i just need to hear that it will change in the future. right now he does not love his swing when i put him in it. he also likes the bouncy seat for about 15 minutes and then cries. only wants to be on me.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Don't you dare even consider CIO! He's WAY too young. My db would only nap when I was holding him for weeks. Now at 6 mos he sleeps fine in his crib. You aren't going to develop bad habits this young, just let him sleep wherever, car seat, swing, your arms - it doesn't matter
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree. But nice for op to find options besides napping in arms so she can get a break i.e swing, bouncy etc
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]dont cio, but absolutely start putting him down once asleep. he'll learn to be ok with his space, and while you cant spoil now, it will be easier later. maybe his crib is to vast, try a bassinet or moses basket.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know . . . way too young for CIO, but my pediatrician believes in it at this young age!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
mine was like that; ended up cosleeping at night until 9 mos; naps in the stroller
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]had similar things-all my friends did-we all worreid so much that baby never wanted the crib-they like to be in a more snuggly place-not so big-so they like swing and bouncy seats and carseat. It's all fine at this point. I eventually got db to the crib maybe at 3 mos or so-can't remember. But she is 10 months old and loves her crib!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Okay, I am at wit's end. We have been weaning from the pacifier for nearly two weeks.... 21 replies
- OP - We did some version of this, let her pick something out and it was hers once she decided for herself that she didn't need the pacis anymore. So one night, she did, and she threw her own pacifiers down the garbage. We did CIO as an infant, just feels weird now when she can remember things, is stubborn, hangs in there for awhile screaming and crying. After 45 minutes tonight, she has stopped, at least for now....
Talk : : February 09, 2009
Okay, I am at wit's end. We have been weaning from the pacifier for nearly two weeks. First week was rough, lots of middle of the night comforting. Second week was better, still some waking in the middle of night for which I would go to my DD. Now we are in our third week. Naps are truly hit or miss, something nothing, sometimes 90 minutes. She has also been insisting in sleeping with her door open, which opens right to our living room/dining room, so DH and I have been eating dinner on the floor in our bedroom. I bought her a nightlight three days ago, have explained how the baby monitor works and tonight shut the door. Went in once to comfort (it has been 20 minutes), but she is inconsolable. We have guests coming into town in a few days to stay for a week. I don't want them to sit in the dark for their visit. WWYD? CIO? Leave the door open and subject guests to eating in the dark? I am literally about to have a nervous breakdown!
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.09.09, 04:28 PM [ Flag ]how old is she
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 04:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP - DD is almost 2.9.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 04:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]my dd was using the paci until 3yr old. We tried (like you) and it was a pita..so I just said you can only have it for bedtime (or nap). Then one day she broke out in a heat rash on her face. I blamed it on the paci and she freaked out. That very day she gave it up and never looked out. GL
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 04:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP - We have considered giving the pacifier back but she has stopped asking for it. Bedtime has simply turned into a nightmare whereas it used to be such an easy thing. I will talk to DH. Is it unsafe... I don't know... to her psychi to let her cry/yell out at 2.9??
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 04:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well my friend did this...she told her son that the paci needed to go to the paci fairy..so they got a nice box, put it in and left it for the paci fairy. She let him be completely in control over the picking of the box and where they would leave it..then the paci fairy left him a nice big boy gift. You can try this
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 04:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP - We did some version of this, let her pick something out and it was hers once she decided for herself that she didn't need the pacis anymore. So one night, she did, and she threw her own pacifiers down the garbage. We did CIO as an infant, just feels weird now when she can remember things, is stubborn, hangs in there for awhile screaming and crying. After 45 minutes tonight, she has stopped, at least for now.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 05:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I hope it gets better for both of you. I know one of the hardest things as a parent is to see your dc upset and crying...really crying.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 05:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]it's really not worth all this angst. IMO. just let her have it at bedtime. big deal
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 05:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
this is why the paci disappears at 1 yo.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 04:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP - Thanks, while I hear you, I can't turn back the clock now. Any other thoughts?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 04:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think I might have tried snipping the paci and making it so that it didn't work properly. Did you do the paci fairy thing? Maybe you could do it tomorrow if you still have a few pacies kicking around (tell her if she leaves them on the kitchen table (or wherever) for babies who need them, the fairy will bring her a gift.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 04:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you can't keep going in to comfort her. you have to let her cio.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 04:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
honestly, in the big picture, it's not that big a deal. She won't go to school still using the paci
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 05:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Eating dinner on the floor of your bedroom? Let dd use her pacifer, especially for bedtime. I've seen plenty of dc's arrive at preschool interviews with pacifiers in their mouths and they still got accepted.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 05:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]This is why I wonder why anyone ever gives DB a pacifer. Just let them learn to soothe themselves!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 05:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's what we did, after 3 mos - dcs sucked their thumbs till 6 and 7. there is no free lunch.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]or: #1 sucked our pinkies for 6 weeks, then nothing. #2 sucked his thumb from day 1, but now is 3yo and basically stopped sucking by 2 1/2. #3 is 6mo and doesn't suck anything, puts herself to sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]lucky you!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I would give it back to just have sanity in your house while guests are there.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 05:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ita. just do it. it's not that important in the long run. signed mom of happy, well-adjusted teen who had a paci (at home only) until she was 4
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 05:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Your kid's orthodontist must have appreciated that decision.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 05:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Okay, I am at wit's end. We have been weaning from the pacifier for nearly two weeks....
Talk : : February 09, 2009
Okay, I am at wit's end. We have been weaning from the pacifier for nearly two weeks. First week was rough, lots of middle of the night comforting. Second week was better, still some waking in the middle of night for which I would go to my DD. Now we are in our third week. Naps are truly hit or miss, something nothing, sometimes 90 minutes. She has also been insisting in sleeping with her door open, which opens right to our living room/dining room, so DH and I have been eating dinner on the floor in our bedroom. I bought her a nightlight three days ago, have explained how the baby monitor works and tonight shut the door. Went in once to comfort (it has been 20 minutes), but she is inconsolable. We have guests coming into town in a few days to stay for a week. I don't want them to sit in the dark for their visit. WWYD? CIO? Leave the door open and subject guests to eating in the dark? I am literally about to have a nervous breakdown!
[ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.09.09, 04:28 PM [ Flag ]
[+] This might be long, but I need help. Have a 2mo & 3 yo. The 3 yo (ever since the ba... 1 reply
- only way is CIO and bribery. Return him to his bed without a word. It will take 2-3 nights but be better in the longrun...
Talk : : February 09, 2009
This might be long, but I need help. Have a 2mo & 3 yo. The 3 yo (ever since the baby has been home) gets up multiple times in the night, gets out of bed, and my husband has to lay down with him until he falls asleep. Any ideas/tricks on how to break this habit? I am all about CIO, but he will get out of bed and will also throw up. HELP!
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.09.09, 04:23 PM [ Flag ]only way is CIO and bribery. Return him to his bed without a word. It will take 2-3 nights but be better in the longrun
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 04:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] CIO moms: what would you do if your db basically cried on/off all night? how do you... 4 replies
- we've been sleeping w/ him and the last couple weeks he wakes up constantly and cries. started CIO last night and he cried on/off (mostly on) after midnight, even after I fed him...
- you. Just be tough and give it 3 or 4 nights to try and work. I recommend not going in there and if you want to CIO you really can't go in and feed him. It's hard but the results will be well worth it....
Talk : : February 09, 2009
CIO moms: what would you do if your db basically cried on/off all night? how do you handle this? not teething or sick
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.09.09, 07:27 AM [ Flag ]^^^ 6 mo
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]how many nites has this been going on? you have to commit to do this for several nites/ a week even.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]we've been sleeping w/ him and the last couple weeks he wakes up constantly and cries. started CIO last night and he cried on/off (mostly on) after midnight, even after I fed him
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You just creating a bad habit with letting him sleep with you. Just be tough and give it 3 or 4 nights to try and work. I recommend not going in there and if you want to CIO you really can't go in and feed him. It's hard but the results will be well worth it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Really need help w/ CIO...What does Ferber say about night wakings? go in every 5/10... 5 replies
- don't know about CIO but is your dc teething?...
Talk : : February 09, 2009
Really need help w/ CIO...What does Ferber say about night wakings? go in every 5/10/15 min? 5.5 mo waking all night, every hour or so. Weissbluth says to just let cry as long as necessary...what if they cry on/off for hours? i'm so exhausted
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.09.09, 07:19 AM [ Flag ]anyone?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You must be dying.... assume this is new? I would chat with your ped b/f letting baby cry for that long. It could be teething/constipation etc.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
don't know about CIO but is your dc teething?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]no, he's been doing this for a while now
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
give it a couple of nites.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I could really use some sleep advice (or just someone to tell me I'm not alone!). DS,... 19 replies
- Time to CIO again if he won't stay in there. He's developing a habit of sleeping in your room and needs to learn to stay in his room. Tell him you will lock him in if he doesn't stay put, that may fix it....
Talk : : February 09, 2009
I could really use some sleep advice (or just someone to tell me I'm not alone!). DS, 3, has always been a great sleeper. For the last few weeks he's been waking up in the night and coming to our room. If we take him back, he just keeps waking up every hour and everyone's exhausted, so we're now letting him sleep on a little mattress on our floor (instead of in our bed, also bad for everyone's sleep). Sometimes he just goes right back to sleep, sometimes he's just up, saying he's ready for breakfast, etc. He's never scared or anything. However, it's getting to be tiring getting woken up every single night. Any ideas how I can stop this, or is this one of those things that will just pass?
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.09.09, 05:37 AM [ Flag ]It won't pass if you set up little mattresses on floors. If you stick with walking(not carrying) back to bed, tell him to stay put, come back with a glass of water and say good night-as many times as it takes. It'll stop.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 05:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]after about three weeks of that and everyone being totally sleep-deprived, I'm looking for other options. It didn't seem to be working, and we need to rest.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 05:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry if my reply sounded pat but we did it too and had to commit to weeks of it. I remember sitting in the dark,listing all the animals in the world and describing them sleeping in their own beds, made cozy for them by their parents. I now cherish those memories, as that kid is 7. We did a very warm(not hot)water bottle, that we wrapped in a receiving blanket and told our kid to wake us up when the day was new. It did take a month.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]aw, that sounds sweet. How did you manage to get anything done when you were up all night, though? Like I said, I tried for about 3 weeks and am now so exhausted I can't function at work.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was a bitch for a month and our kid loved school. I really exaggerated my exhaustion in the am and did a lot of talking about how much sleep debt slowed me down. I let us be 'late' to school and mentioned often, how I couldn't wait for us to get our nights back to regular schedule, so we'd have more energy and fun together-in the daytime. Parent role playing is still potent with a kid that young.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry, but that just sounds bizarrely manipulative and guilt spreading
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: I actually think it is a good example of natural consequences
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]it sounds awful to me the poor kid
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yeah, I'm a cruel Mom...Seriously, we were tired and so was she. We did make dates on the magnetic calendar to plan 'sleepovers'. Of course there is wiggle room with babies(and 3yo IS a baby) and sometimes we welcomed the family bed-but only after the habit of middle of the night wakings was over. This is still a kid that sleeps sideways, with extremities and pointy bits extended from our nostrils to our ribcages!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 09:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
best friend's son did this for years...woke in the middle of the night, then slept on the floor by their bed. I wouldn't do anything, honestly. He probably won't be doing it after a while.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]can he come into your room and get on the little mattress without waking you? if so,i'd let that be. he'll grow out of it and it lets him have security and you get sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I can tell you that you are not alone. The walking them back to sleep is what I was also told would work, but DD thought it was fun and we were bleary eyed. We never let her in our bed but she has a full bed so I go in there when she comes to get me in the middle of the night. She generally goes right back to bed. I spoke to some older parents and they had their kids in their beds and it's all just a big blur to them now.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]-- PS: I am assuming that by giving up on the walk back to bed thing or other methods I have a few years of this left!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP and thanks. I don't think it's going to work for ds, either. He also thinks it's a game. I stopped getting into bed with him b/c he has a twin and then I didn't sleep, either. I guess this is what I'm stuck with for now. I need to teach him how to get onto the mattress and go back to sleep without waking us, I guess.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I really wouldn't stress too much about this. Do what is easiest for your family. It's not that big a deal in the greater scheme of things
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]-- that was a NP by the way...
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP and thanks for being nice. I feel like we're getting pay back for him sleeping through early and with no effort and generally always being a good kid!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]he's still a good kid, he just wants to sleep in your room
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Time to CIO again if he won't stay in there. He's developing a habit of sleeping in your room and needs to learn to stay in his room. Tell him you will lock him in if he doesn't stay put, that may fix it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 09:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] dd is 10mo. she sleeps from about 8:45 to 7, sometimes 8 if we're lucky. BUT she wake... 4 replies
- CIO after 3 am...
- central nervous system that regulates sleep doesn't mature enough to allow them to get to sleep without our help til around the age of two. Sure, you could CIO but it doesn't sound like that's your style, if you are one of the many moms who dislike the idea because of why it works on...
Talk : : August 16, 2008
dd is 10mo. she sleeps from about 8:45 to 7, sometimes 8 if we're lucky. BUT she wakes up 2x every night. once at 2am or 3am, then at 5:30am. i go into her room the first time and b/f her, which puts her back to sleep quickly. whole things takes 10 minutes usually. when i go to her room at 5:30am, she is standing up in crib and refuses to go back into it, even after i b/f her. so i take her into our bed, where she sleeps until 7 or 8. PLEASE--what can i do to make her wake up one less time in the night, or never?? what am i doing wrong?
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.16.08, 01:23 PM [ Flag ]CIO after 3 am
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 01:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]cruel
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 03:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You sound like a very responsive mama, and I don't think you are doing a thing wrong. Her night sounds like a very typical ten month old's night, and they are like that because 1) they get hungry and 2)the part of the central nervous system that regulates sleep doesn't mature enough to allow them to get to sleep without our help til around the age of two. Sure, you could CIO but it doesn't sound like that's your style, if you are one of the many moms who dislike the idea because of why it works on some babies, join the club! There are many many ways to gently influence a baby's sleep patterns, if you feel like chatting about some ideas, come over to http://mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=-1&f=37
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 03:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you sound like a total shit, in my opinion. you had a baby - what did you expect, a robot????
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 03:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Sleep advice, PLEASE?! Our 9 mo isn't a terrible sleeper, but he still can't fall asl... 16 replies
- new skills (walking) and have lighter sleep. I am totally against CIO, the book suggest sitting next to them and patting them on their back etc....
- NP: I'm actually someone who did CIO (we tried nursing and rocking our dd to sleep and that...me as well. I just said personally I would not consider CIO, but everyone is different and have to do their own choices....
- Oh totally! I was just adding I'm not against CIO and I think OP is doing something great....
Talk : : August 15, 2008
Sleep advice, PLEASE?! Our 9 mo isn't a terrible sleeper, but he still can't fall asleep on his own. Every night I nurse him until he's drowsy, then I put him in his crib awake. If I walk out of the room, he wails and cries and revs himself up, so I go back in and hold his hand through the crib rails until he's out.It only takes about 10 min. I don't mind this, but I'm getting crap from friends who claim I'm doing him a disservice, not teaching him to self soothe. wwyd?
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.15.08, 09:51 AM [ Flag ]I don't think you are doing him a disservice, but at some point down the line it may take him longer to fall asleep and it may become more annoying for you and you can't assume he will grow out of it on his own. I am a WOHM so I stay with DD until she falls asleep. I find it really annoying now at two years b/c it takes her a long time to go to sleep. But she's two years old - that's very young - and I highly doubt I will be going to live in her dorm room with her b/c I didn't train her as a toddler.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np and ITA. its only a problem if its a problem for you adn your family, regardless of what others think. at that age my oldest did want to be soothed to sleep, but he grew out of it -- and when he was two, i sat in his room reading with a book light for a while before he dropped off. it was a nice break, but then again i didnt have a 2d kid at the time.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think you are doing a wonderful thing for your ds. He must find it very comforting to hold your hand while he falls asleep. It's not like you are rocking and the like for hours on end. He's 9 months old. That's still quite young. Your baby is only a baby for such a brief instant in the long run. Enjoy it while you can. In a flash it will be a teenager who wants a lock on their door!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]F^ck your friends! Do what works for you and your child. The connection is broken so early in life for so many families. One way people make themselves comfortable is by insisting others should do the same. My 12 and 14 yr old were like this. Each remains unusually affectionate and close with us. The younger (a boy) still likes a tuck-in and kiss. Neither one consistently went to sleep entirely on his/her own until the preK age. We didn't mind and just ignored meddlers.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: thank you! I don't know why I'm so aware of others judging all of the sudden. It's not all my friends, just a select couple...the same ones actually, who said "get that kid off your boob! you can't nurse him every time he has a meltdown." He was 4 months old! Sigh....
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i'm shocked! is there any way you can stop hanging out with this select couple? i have different views on parenting than my friends, but i wouldnt criticize them to their face! (altho, i may comment to my husband about it..cuz i just dont get it.)
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Practice saying "Thank you for your concern" and "We're doing just fine, thanks" When really pressed, "Why do you ask?"
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
we got great help from asleep consultant-baby.sleep@yahoo.com
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 06:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP does not need help Ms. Spamalot
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 04:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
we got help from a wonderful woman-sleep.baby@yahoo.com
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 06:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Self soothing doesn't truly kick in til their central nervous system is more mature - around two years. You going in and holding his hand is a wonderful thing, meeting his need for connection and help relaxing back into sleep during the night. What I would do is ignore the jerks who don't know a thing about infant sleep biology.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 03:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]According to the book touchpoints it is very normal that they do this from month 9 to 13. This is due to that they are learning new skills (walking) and have lighter sleep. I am totally against CIO, the book suggest sitting next to them and patting them on their back etc.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 04:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: I'm actually someone who did CIO (we tried nursing and rocking our dd to sleep and that worked until about 6 mos or so, after which it actually wound her up more). I'm envious that OP has a way to help soothe her baby that is NOT exhausting for her (as in, up all night with him) but helps in a way he finds comforting. OP sounds fine to me
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 04:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes to me as well. I just said personally I would not consider CIO, but everyone is different and have to do their own choices.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 04:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh totally! I was just adding I'm not against CIO and I think OP is doing something great.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 04:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am not from the US and I never even heard about it before I came here, so it is such a strange concept for me (not saying it is wrong or does not work).
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 04:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] help. fear i've screwed my kid up. 17mos and doesn't regularly sleep through the nigh... 6 replies
- Does CIO work for an older child?...
Talk : : August 14, 2008
help. fear i've screwed my kid up. 17mos and doesn't regularly sleep through the night- goes through phases, sometimes she does and sometimes she doesn't. Insists on being rocked to sleep, and getting increasingly harder to get to sleep (she's so big now that she's uncomfortable in the rocking chair, but won't let me put her in crib until she's totally asleep). we tried CIO twice when she was around 9 mos and again at around 11 mos and she screamed until she threw up and hyperventilated. has historically only used paci to fall asleep but past week or so has started asking for it during the day. DH is incredible, and spends almost as much time w DD as I do (I'm a WOHM) but yet DD freaks out when i'm not around. won't let anyone else put her to bed, won't let DH comfort her. DD is starting to throw insane tantrums when things aren't exactly as she wants them- she screams bloody murder for a LONG time, until i fear she'll blow out her voice or something. for the most part, she's an exceptional kid- very mellow and well-behaved except for these issues. do we just ride this out and eventually she'll sleep through the night and stop wanting to be rocked to sleep? what about everything else?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.14.08, 11:31 AM [ Flag ]poor you. i feel for you. admittedly, teaching healthy sleep habits is easier when they are younger, you can totally fix her now if you and dh are dedicated. does she nap regularly?
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 11:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, takes one 2-hour nap each day. (sometimes 90 min, sometimes up to 3 hours). what do i do about her insistence on mommy being there all the time? she's fine with the nanny.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 11:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]this is the age of great separation anxiety (til like 2.5 i think) i have friend who is child shrink and she says dont fight it if possible. you can change anything, but it will take a few horrible screaming crying days.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 11:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
That sounds very hard. Did your ped have any advice (esp. re: the throwing up & hypverventilating?). If it were me I'd probably do a very committed CIO--not going back in or anything like that. I think it confuses them when you do the phased kind of thing. It's just no good for anyone to have a situation where the child doesn't "let" you leave the room, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Does CIO work for an older child?
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It should. It's a behavior modification right? My kids were sleeping through before one year. But when we switched to big beds we had them popping out sometimes and had to do the walk-them-back-without-talking thing.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Have 3 mo ds, thinking about sleep training but not sure which method to use. He usua... 3 replies
- Talk to Ped about what weight he/she is comfortable allowing you to to CIO then try a modified Wesibluth or Ferber method...
Talk : : August 13, 2008
Have 3 mo ds, thinking about sleep training but not sure which method to use. He usually goes down at 7pm, wakes at 10:30, 1:30, 3:30 and 5:00am. I am really needing more sleep since I go back to work in less than 20 days. Any suggestions?
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.13.08, 09:08 PM [ Flag ]You can't do sleep training until 4 months old
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 04:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Have DH handle the 10:30 waking and at least then you can get a longer chunk of sleep. Most books suggest that 3 mo is too young for sleep training.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 04:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Talk to Ped about what weight he/she is comfortable allowing you to to CIO then try a modified Wesibluth or Ferber method... usually gets the job done
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 04:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I'm 12 weeks pregnant. When did you go from looking like maybe you just gained a cou... 12 replies
- time someone who is 1st pg says that they don't mind ppl touching their belly, I will tell them, "just wait." I know that might not be true for you, but enjoy not having random ppl touching you and and giving you obnoxious unsolicited cio/bf'ing/birthing/childcare/SAH vs working mom advice! You can still blend and not get stupid "oh look at your belly button" comments. I guess I just miss being able to have a quiet, private day when I want to....
Talk : : August 13, 2008
I'm 12 weeks pregnant. When did you go from looking like maybe you just gained a couple lbs to actually looking pregnant? I can't wait to have a pregnant belly but now my uterus is still so small (and baby is measuring great, we've seen it many times and recently). TIA
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.13.08, 11:54 AM [ Flag ]With baby #1, not until easily 20 weeks. Maybe more.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was about 6m pg before I told my work colleagues and they hadn't guessed.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP - ok thanks. This is my second pregnancy but first that has gone this far and I am just craving the belly...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I "popped" at 23 weeks. no one knew before then. but what is the rush?? enjoy that flat belly while it lasts!! lol.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yeah, you'll wish for it later :)
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:00 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]OP - I know, I'm sure I will! But now I just want to look pregnant and also to buy maternity clothes because things still fit, but uncomfortably. Going to go shopping now for some dresses...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i see lots of flowy tops out there these days that look maternity but are in "normal" stores. I also bought a few "normal" items in a size or two up from normal for the first 2 trimesters - they worked pretty well - especially skirts. they are also good for post partum -- i just put my big sizes away 1 year after delivery. yes - it took me a while to get back to old size!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 01:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
it gets old having ppl touch your belly, I told DH last week "the next time someone who is 1st pg says that they don't mind ppl touching their belly, I will tell them, "just wait." I know that might not be true for you, but enjoy not having random ppl touching you and and giving you obnoxious unsolicited cio/bf'ing/birthing/childcare/SAH vs working mom advice! You can still blend and not get stupid "oh look at your belly button" comments. I guess I just miss being able to have a quiet, private day when I want to.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP - I hear you. I think it also has to do with how much people have worked to get pregnant...I know I take nothing for granted with this pregnancy because of what I've been through. And trust me, I have no intention of letting strangers or colleagues touch my belly. "Oh wow, that's so personal" - I've seen women say that and pull back and I think it's a great response...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I like this reponse! And it did take us awhile to get pg, I had a friend say try to finish what I was saying by piping in, "Oh, because it took you so long to get pg" when I was talking about baby clothes or something totally different... like she is some kind of fertility goddess. I guess the whole thing IS very personal and ppl forget that, and they forget how panicked you might be or how you might be freaked out about doing a good job or about $ or about weird body changes- so no "popped belly button" comments!
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 09:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
With #1 I didn't really pop until my 9th month. I had already had my baby by the time most people realized I was pregnant. With #2 10wks!!!! I could keep it a secret if I'd wanted to.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] how long would you let a 1-month old cry in her crib? 23 replies
- np ITA and I'm a bit proponent of CIO at the right time. 1 mo is way too ealry!...
Talk : : August 13, 2008
how long would you let a 1-month old cry in her crib?
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.13.08, 11:19 AM [ Flag ]I wouldn't but I'm a wimp.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA: I didn't start to let dd cry at all until she was 4-5 months.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
10 seconds
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]or like, 2 mins if you had to pee or finish washing hands. more than that, NO WAY
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITTTTTA
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I wouldn't. Kind of young to learn self-soothing.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]1 months olds are crying because they need something--food, diaper change, you. Leaving them to cry is cruel.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np ITA and I'm a bit proponent of CIO at the right time. 1 mo is way too ealry!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^big
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]agreed, too early to self soothe. Get a book called "The Happiest Baby in the World" or something like that. Incredibly helpful and I'm not a big fan of the how to books but this one's good.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]The DVD is better b/c he demonstrates his swaddling technique.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: ITA too. Super cruel, Sounds like that jerk Babywise author, that sicko who puts newborns on a schedule. YUCK. (That said if you feel like you are so angry or tired you might hurt the baby, better to put the baby down in a crib and walk away for a few minutes to call a friend)
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
2 seconds. no more. don't let sub 6month olds cry it out. Call your doc if you are unsure of this or get "healthy sleep habits, healthy kids".
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]not for a single moment. What the hell is wrong with you even asking this question?? I swear to God, some people should just not be parents.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yikes! Maybe she's just a new parent and trying to figure things out.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]how obnoxious. im sure you have all the answers and have never needed help.
[ Reply | Options ]08.20.08, 07:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
um. As long as it took me to get to her, pick her up and comfort her.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If she cries a lot, maybe try wearing her so that you can do things around the house, walk around etc
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOL I thought you said "try WEANING her." As it is--ITTTTA. The sling is your friend.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Your baby is to young to CIO. Respond within 30 seconds.
[ Reply | Options ]12.26.08, 08:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hello, SIL.
[ Reply | Options ]12.26.08, 08:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NOT AT ALL. Wtf???
[ Reply | Options ]12.26.08, 10:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]She doesn't know! Why be so judgemental? Parenting is a learning process.
[ Reply | Options ]12.26.08, 10:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] At what age did your db sleep through the night and did you do anything in particular... 11 replies
- 9 months (7 adjusted) and DD 5 months. We did a modified CIO w/ DS and regular CIO w/ DD. They both attached to particular loveys early which helped, as...11 hours without a peep. (For all those who insist that if you don't CIO, they will never sleep. I'm not anti-CIO btw. I was just too much of a...bed each night. #2 didn't sleep through until 7 months old when i finally CIO'd for the final feeding. Nothing worked...
Talk : : August 12, 2008
At what age did your db sleep through the night and did you do anything in particular that helped?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.12.08, 07:02 PM [ Flag ]at about 4 months - bedtime routine I think helped, as did putting her in her own room vs ours
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What was your routine?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]book, bath, little baby massage, nurse to sleep (though I think we will be screwed when I wean)
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^think the beginning of solids did help as well
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
All the way through--DS about 9 months (7 adjusted) and DD 5 months. We did a modified CIO w/ DS and regular CIO w/ DD. They both attached to particular loveys early which helped, as did a solid bedtime routine. And the fact that DS took a binky and DD sucks her thumb.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]dd#1 - through the night at 5 weeks.... formula at night and swaddle. dd#2 - through the night at 11 weeks...formula at night and swaddle. They were both swaddled until at least 6 months.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]2yo.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm with you on this one
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^and I swaddled and tried formula at night etc, etc. One day he just started sleeping through.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes. Had nothing to do with me. He sleeps great now at 5. Usually 11 hours without a peep. (For all those who insist that if you don't CIO, they will never sleep. I'm not anti-CIO btw. I was just too much of a wimp!)
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
#1, at 8 weeks he did 6 hours and by 11 wks, 8 hours. I started a strict bedtime routine by 6 wks, dream fed before I went to bed each night. #2 didn't sleep through until 7 months old when i finally CIO'd for the final feeding. Nothing worked...nothing. He was still doing 2 feedings at 4 months old despite being enormous for his age. I dropped the first one by giving him a bottle with water in it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Can you please tell me (without flaming) why you are anti-CIO? We're kind of at our e... 25 replies
- was a reluctant CIOer. Everything I read suggested that CIO was cruel, would traumatize DD and interfere with..., it just seemed mean. I tried everything except CIO, but our sleep situation was horrible, and I...there is a good percentage of kids where cio will not work and they just get more...I think about it, the more I now believe, CIO (and the like) require that we project onto...because they're the right things to do. CIO is not right for every child, but if it...
Talk : : August 12, 2008
Can you please tell me (without flaming) why you are anti-CIO? We're kind of at our end w/9 month old ds and the sleep situation, but have been bombarded (Dr. Sears etc) with warnings not to cry it out. Still, it does seem to work. Can someone please softly enlighten me?
25 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.12.08, 10:22 AM [ Flag ]I was a reluctant CIOer. Everything I read suggested that CIO was cruel, would traumatize DD and interfere with bonding, etc. Plus, it just seemed mean. I tried everything except CIO, but our sleep situation was horrible, and I finally broke down and did it. Now she's a totally different baby--happy in the morning, happy to go down at night (no more crying). Good luck to you whatever you decide.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. he goes in just fine, but if i even move an inch towards the door, he screams like his crib is on fire. and filled with snakes. this is repeated again at 3 am. we just thought he'd be soothing to sleep by now?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
there are modified version of crying it out where you don't have to totally abandon them... i feel strongly that a great lesson for your child, and gift, is to teach them how to fall asleep on their own and learn to comfort themselves. Sleep is crucial...
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What is the sleep situation? We have 3.8 yo who did not sleep through the night until 18 mo. We did not do CIO. It took a while but almost always sleeps through the night and is very easy to put to bed now.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, first I lay down w/ him in our bed to mellow him out. I talk softly etc. Then I put him in his crib and stand there, patting him and shhing for half an hour! Then, at 3 or 4, I do it again, only that time, I nurse him too.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I never layed down with DD. Put her in the crib and kept going back in and soothing, laying back down. If she was crying for more then 20 minutes. We would take out. We did this whole ritual before hand that we still do and that really helps. Do you do a ritual?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We sort of have a ritual. PJs then nursing, then laying down in the bed for some quiet time. He likes to play in the bath, so bath time doesn't really mellow him out. Neither does reading bc he just like to yell at the pictures etc. He's tough to chill out is what I'm getting at!
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We put on nursed, pj's, read a book, sing a song (same one) and then to bed. We've added vitamins and tooth brushing now that she is older. This has worked well for us. We've been doing it since about 5mo.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Personally, I am anti-CIO because I think your db is a baby for a such a short period of time. And in that small time capsule, you need to be there for them if they are scared, lonely etc. Trust me, you will not b rocking them to sleep when they are 10!
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Except that many children cry several times a night and their parents eventually cannot function with out real sleep. Maybe they have a job, other children at home, operate heavy machinery, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you have a functional family you and DH can take turns. The baby does not be nursed every time she wakes up. Let DH handle those cases.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i didn't do it for some grand reason, only that I felt that I didn't need to let him cry and that period would last such a short time.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]can't speak for anyone else but here's what i think. i think cio is great for a kid that is tired but just can't fall asleep without a little fussing. you can spend 20 minutes rocking them or you can spend three minutes letting them cry out a little energy and then they fall asleep. i also think it's ok in a time when rocking to sleep doesn't work and/or the mom is just at the end of her rope. if the kid is crying/fussing while you hold them, let them cry in bed while you clear your head. i think there is a good percentage of kids where cio will not work and they just get more wired and angry and less likely to go to sleep. if you think it'll work for your child, go ahead and try. but set a time limit on how long the trial should last. and stick to it - don't go in sooner or wait longer. good luck.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i am anti-CIO for the reasons what you and others said. its stressful for the baby, traumatic, only teaches them that he cant trust an adult to be there for him, etc. i know that sometimes its the only thing that will work. i think it all depends on what you believe. i just dont have the heart to do it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]And parents who do are heartless and should have their kids taken away.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Are you for real?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Ditto. Most kids will sleep fine between 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 years of age.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]And you'll just be a zombie in your own life until then? Nevermind my job that buys the food my child eats and pays our rent. Nevermind that my child is clearly exhausted from waking every 2 hours all night? Being a parent means sometimes doing the things that are hard because they're the right things to do. CIO is not right for every child, but if it's right for your child, you should do your job as a parent and tend to your child's needs.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why do feel the need to defend yourself? I was just stating a fact. Most times CIO is NOT necessary if you can deal with the consequences (sleep deprivation). In our case we could. DH and I shared the responsibilities and we all got enough sleep to function (with a few days interruption here and there). If you can't hack it, by all means, let your child cry. My comment was targeted at new parents who think that CIO is the only means to get a kid to sleep. Btw, if you nurse your baby back to sleep at night and opt to cosleep there is hardly any sleep lost for anybody.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]And who in this thread is a brand new parent who thinks CIO is the only way?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I doubt any new parents are all in for CIO. It's usually parents who, after about 10-12 months are ready to try anything
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]How would I know? Just stating the obvious. Again, if you end the end of your rope do what you think is needed. Just do not attack me because I am stuck it out with my children.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I was all for CIO. I had read Weissbluth and it fit with my German/analytic mentality. My wife countered with something she had read, letting children just cry and cry teaches them to cry. Get in front of that and you're less likely to have a screamer/crier. Since you couldn't do mine then hers I agreed to try hers. It worked. We put ds to sleep and he slept. When he cried we consoled him back to sleep. We (my insistence) never co-slept. The more I think about it, the more I now believe, CIO (and the like) require that we project onto our kids a level of awareness/rational thought which they just don't have.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I did not read any of the other replies here, so excuse me if this has already been said. We did not let any of our three children cry it out at night or for naps no matter what crappy sleepers they were. I admit that we were that close with #1 but did not have the heart to try it. At around the age of 18 - 24 months he started to sleep like an angel. With #2 and #3 we already knew that crappy sleep is a temporary thing and were prepared. And we were right. At around the same age they all slept predictably well.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] If you child has problem sleeping, can't you just go into their room and cuddle with ... 29 replies
- read Weissbluth. he talks about CIO...
- explain above and have been successfull with it or not used CIO with good results?...
- I read Weissbluth who is a ped. sleep specialist. he realizes CIO is hard on parents and gives you an alternative if you...
- We did not do CIO but I found some really interesting general inf/thoughts in...
Talk : : August 12, 2008
If you child has problem sleeping, can't you just go into their room and cuddle with them without taking them out of bed or into yours? I don't feel comfortable doing CIO.
29 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.12.08, 08:15 AM [ Flag ]You can do whatever works for you and your child. there are no rules.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]No Shit Sherlock, thanks for that helpful answer.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]read Weissbluth. he talks about CIO
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I just said I don't want to do CIO. I am not letting my kid lay there and cry by himself. Nada.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]uh I know. weissbluth talks about alternatives. jeez. i didn't do cio. i found his book extremely helpful
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP is seriously grouchy. don't take it personally.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am not. She clearly needs a nap
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Then go snuggle with him. Eventually, maybe by the time he goes to high school, he'll sleep through the night.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We did not do CIO but I found some really interesting general inf/thoughts in Weissbluth.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Do you have a REAL question then? What is your question?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Is it really that difficult? Ok. QUESTION: Is there any mothers out there that has been doing something similar that I explain above and have been successfull with it or not used CIO with good results?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes. I read Weissbluth who is a ped. sleep specialist. he realizes CIO is hard on parents and gives you an alternative if you don't want to CIO. I didn't CIO. But I didn't spend half the night "cuddling" with my son because I have a life and need to sleep too. I know you might find reading hard, but it can be a valuable experience.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You might find reading hard? Yeah, that's why I have a Ph.D. "Spend the half night cuddling" - did I say I was going to do this? Would it be better to lissen to him scream the half night?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]wow. then you tell me what you want to hear. clearly you are looking for someone to answer you with the exact sentence you are thinking of.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am asking a very straightforward question and I just get snotty comments back. The answer below is normal.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]No. people are giving you answers and you are the one with the snotty comments.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]So "You can do whatever works for you and your child. there are no rules" etc. are good answers. Whatever - I don't have time for this.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It might not be a good answer... but it was certainly not a snotty comment.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]So you would call that a friendly and helpful reply?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am OR, and that is how I intended it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You really need to watch that attitude or no olympics tonight, young lady. And no dessert.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well it is just boring US swimming and gymnastics anyway.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you need some sleep, you havent answer a q yes, without being an ass
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]And the rest here has? ...
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
try "good night sleep tight" by kim west - realistic non-CIO alternatives. totally worked for me and I was *not* comfortable with traditional ferber.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op; I will. Thank you for some finally good advice.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
maybe you can crate train like with a dog
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ].. and how did this work for your child?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
God, you're an ass.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Anyone NOT do cio and have a DB who eventually ended up being a good sleeper? 7 replies
- never did cio, it all worked out fine...
- I read in that book "The Baby Bible" by Sears something that CIO was not a good idea. Just teaches the child to not trust you or something. I know several...kids sleep fine. I know I am not going to be able to lissen to my db CIO, but I will not take him up into bed either. Just a phase one have to suffer...
Talk : : August 11, 2008
Anyone NOT do cio and have a DB who eventually ended up being a good sleeper?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.11.08, 04:13 PM [ Flag ]nope.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 04:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]julie?
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 04:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
never did cio, it all worked out fine
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 04:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]YES, my DD was nursed to sleep until she turned about 6 months. one night she didn't fall asleep nursing and i figured i'd give it a shot and put her to bed and sure enought she was fine and fell fast asleep. now with # 2, it's a different story. pretty good sleeper but still nursed or rocked to sleep at 1 YO
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 04:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I read in that book "The Baby Bible" by Sears something that CIO was not a good idea. Just teaches the child to not trust you or something. I know several who has not used it and their kids sleep fine. I know I am not going to be able to lissen to my db CIO, but I will not take him up into bed either. Just a phase one have to suffer through I guess.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 04:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]The Baby Book not Bible - LOL...
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 05:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
yes, at 2 1/2 years old for both kids!
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 04:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] 20mos old just starting crying at naptime...last 4days. CIO? i feel terrible..seems t...
Talk : : August 11, 2008
[+] Is the CIO method not considered old fashioned? Is it not the point to make the baby ... 9 replies
- My kids are now almost 6 and 4. Did not do CIO, there are times that I think they don't self sooth as well as others, but I wouldn't...
- I know plenty of people who has not done CIO and they are perfectly fine. No stress whatsoever. I also know alot of people who started the CIO and got themselves into more trouble...
Talk : : August 11, 2008
Is the CIO method not considered old fashioned? Is it not the point to make the baby trust you so that he/she is secure ? Why would you let your baby cry it out in the dark by themselves?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.11.08, 08:58 AM [ Flag ]basic tenet is teaching self-soothing. harsh, tho, imho.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]But you will also teach them that mum does not come when I cry ?
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]mum does not come when it's nap/bedtime and I cry. that's my time to self-soothe and sleep,.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am so not doing it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
My kids are now almost 6 and 4. Did not do CIO, there are times that I think they don't self sooth as well as others, but I wouldn't have it any other way. A six month old does not need self soothing in their skill set. I'm sure my kids will figure it our entirely in the next year or two.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't know, if you let your child do that when you lived in a cave, all of you would have been eaten.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]tee hee
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I know plenty of people who has not done CIO and they are perfectly fine. No stress whatsoever. I also know alot of people who started the CIO and got themselves into more trouble...
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I wouldn't. Ever. And didn't, with two kids (who sleep fine, thankyouverymuch.) Don't see the appeal at all.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] anyone have to do CIO with reflux baby? Need advice...baby wakes up 5 times at night... 5 replies
Talk : : August 10, 2008
anyone have to do CIO with reflux baby? Need advice...baby wakes up 5 times at night and I already have the crib inclined etc...when does it get better?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.10.08, 08:35 PM [ Flag ]don't all babies wake up that much a night, my 5 month old does, no reflux
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]really? baby is 4months and I thought he should be up only twice a night
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I co-sleep so I'm there for it all, but some nights (like the last two) she is up at least 5 times. Others, she makes it through for nearly 6 hours. It just varies, right?
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what about tilting the baby to her side - this helped with our son. We rolled up a shirt and stuck it behind him. Have you tried medication - that has worked wonders for some babies. GL
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]hes already on Axid, but doesn't seem to be working. I have tried tilting to the side but it doesn't work for him....
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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