Is there anyone on who is familiar with the town of Milpitas? We need to visit my parents for a couple of weeks -- they're in San Jose -- and are having a lot of trouble finding a place to stay near them; have been thinking of renting an apt, via Craig's List, in Milpitas, but don't know anything about it. Many thanks!
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[-] I just started taking vitamins/multi, and feel as if they are affecting my stomach. Anyone have/had this problem and had to stop?
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[-]Amazing contest! CPMC BabySteps and pottery barn kids are hosting a contest for the best picture of a breastfed baby. Five winners will receive $500, and the grandprize winner's photo will be featured in a pottery barn kids catalog. It's FREE to enter: http://www.cpmcbabysteps.org/enter/contest
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[-]WWYD? 40 years old, FSH 16.9, AMH undetectable. Going to do first IVF cycle soon. Should we choose Dr. Davis at Cornell or Dr. Surrey at CCRM?? Love Dr. Davis, think Cornell's practice is totally chaotic; loathe Dr. Surrey (and nurse whose been assigned to me)--negative and patronizing--but can just tell the practice and the lab is run like an atomic clock. We're upstate, so would have to travel either way, although my mother and best friends are in NYC (and I was born in NY Hospital).
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]New York Fertility Institute is excellent, Dr Sultan and Dr Fatah run it they are from Lenox Hill Hospital. Their practice is small and one on one. Good Luck
[ Reply | Options ]better to put up with less than wonderful dr as long as you feel the results will be better. believe me, you do not want to have to do this again if you can avoid it, so try to get it right the first time. (that said, i had an amazing re who was sensitive, brilliant, and ran his practice like the atomic clock you describe--steven palter, but hes in long island.) i find a lot is lost in the large practice, not just in personal attention, but also bec i had experiences where they were so used to fitting you into their formulas they didnt notice things in my case that were different and required a different approach.
[ Reply | Options ]Will CCRM allow you to cycle with your own eggs? I always heard they were very negative about high FSH. How long have you been trying "au naturel". If you have open tubes, you ovulate and your partner has decent sperm I would try ONE cycle. If you get fewer than 4 eggs I'd stop there, keep trying naturally and start investigating donor egg and adoption. I tried 4x unsuccessfully at Cornell. A lot of that was just wasted time and pointless b/c I'm not a good responder. Good luck.
[ Reply | Options ]I've been getting the sense from CCRM that they think I'm a hopeless case. I don't know whether they'll "let" me cycle with my own eggs yet, since they insist on giving me a Clomid challenge test before describing my protocol to me (yet they won't really tell me what the Clomid is going to reveal -- they keep saying "it tests ovarian reserve," but we already know that mine is compromised, so I'm kind of baffled). Anyhow, I do ovulate, my tubes are open, my luteal phase is fine, partner has olympic sperm, etc. We've been ttc naturally five months. In my 20s I got pregnant three times despite condoms (once on the sponge), and I got pregnant last May on our second natural cycle of ttc but miscarried at 10 weeks. The only reason I know I have ...
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[-]Baby nurse or no baby nurse? It's our first, but i worry that she will be there and the family will be there and it will all be overwhelming....help!
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Love our baby nurse and had plenty of family around --its just nice to have someone do what you want when you want especially at 1 am. I bbfed but nurse burped/diapered/dressed/took care of bellybutton/circum etc. It was great. Also nice to have someone around to let me and dh leave the house for an hour or two etc. totally recommend it and if you dont like it you can always tell her to leave
[ Reply | Options ]I had a bby nurse with both of my children and my daughter in law just had a baby and also had one. They are WONDERFUL. I only had her for the night time so I could get some sleep. I was so exhausted from getting up every 2 hours. My daugher in law had one around the clock and loved her. If you get the right person they will not be intrusive and just fit right in. They are a great source for information. I understand now they should be certified as a newborn care specialist although when I had my babies they were not. Good luck and it certainly does not make you less of a mommy when you have one. Just more rested and better able to deal.
[ Reply | Options ]i think that in the first few days at home, you'd rather have someone who will do laundry, clean up after you and maybe cook for you since you and your family will want to be the ones caring for the baby. otherwise, the baby nurse will be sitting around while the grandparents hold the baby. you COULD just get someone for the nighttime so you can get sleep, although this is more hlepful if you are FF than if you are BF. In some ways, I think help AFTER the visitors are gone and DH is back at work is way more "helpful" than in the first week.
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[-]anybody have experience working for a non-profit? i am newly on the board of a local boys and girls club, and while i love the cause and volunteering directly with the kids, i find the petty politics and small-mindedness of the other board members ridiculous. makes the corporate world seem enlightened.
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[-]Any mothers with one child on-- do you have mixed feelings? How do you deal with it when your chidl asks for a sibling? do you worry you will have regrets? Thanks
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We have one. She has never asked for a sibling. She has a lot of friends with no siblings and thinks it is just fine.
[ Reply | Options ]i'm really happy with just one, and dd went through a phase where she asked for a sibling and then the phase passed. i didn't deal with it at all, i just said, "we're really happy with our family as is" occasionally i feel bad because she won't have the same safety net that i have, with a bunch of sibs, but then i realize that not all sibs are close.
[ Reply | Options ]we have one, and we only ever wanted one. DC has asked once or twice (is 6), but we just say our family is just right the way it is, and besides, mom is too old (well, close anyway at 43).
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op- I was very confident in our choice- it seemed the only logical decision until yesterday when my sun spoke of it quite a bit throughout the day. At one point he said "well if you accidentally have another baby what can we name it?" followed by "I am going to keep asking you because god may hear me." made me all choked up.
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it's so interesting...there's never even been a moment when I've wondered if I wanted another.
[ Reply | Options ]op- did you know from day 1 that you were going to only have one? I always thought that there would be at ime when we could, but some things are not changing--- our finances, the size of our apartment, my level of energy, the degree to which I would be able to count on my dh for help,
[ Reply | Options ]well. i re-married later and tried right away - so at 43.. if it was the same husband 10 years earlier - 3 kids
[ Reply | Options ]I--we--knew from day one. dh and I had been together for almost 20 years before we decided to have a dc, and prior to that, we used to talk about having a girl, and just one. I never envisioned myself with a family, and really only started thinking about it in my mid-thirties. In fact, if for some reason we couldn't conceive, we weren't going to go for fertility help either. We think it worked out as planned...we got the girl we wanted and we're happy.
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would love to have no. 2 but I am too old. May try DE but its a big step. Its really hard when they start lerning about families in School. I don't think you would ever regret having a second child however I think you may regret not trying for one. GL in what ever you decide.
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If it's not in your family plan, don't sweat it. I had 2 brothers (not even an only child) and used to ask my mom for sister to play with. It never happened, and I have not regrets. Most only children from what I find, eventually outgrow this stage and if you ask them later, most will say they enjoyed being the only child.
[ Reply | Options ]1 amazing DC, feel so lucky. Tried this year for another, 2 MC; but I am 42. No trouble conceiving I guess but worried about another MC, as many know they are very hard on you. I do worry about DC and no sibs, and I love children very much. I would say my DC is as happy as other kids both single children and those with siblings. I would have the energy and the $ for more. We'll see.
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[-]Poll: What was your all time favorite baby gift? Did you dc get something so amazing (or not so fab - but your dc just loved it)? I need to stock up on gifts and am so out of the baby loop. If I see one more embroidered burb cloth I may need one for myself. TIA!
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]here are my favorites: Robeez; trumpette socks; personalized picture frames; small silver tea set (for when they get older but a great gift for dds); personalized step stools (can not stock up on them though); personalized diaper covers for dd;
[ Reply | Options ]Blk/Wht Adidas Sambas sneakers. My sister has bought a new pair as our kid grows out of them.5 yrs! Also hand me downs from MIL from her father's babyhood, etc) Oddly, the baby's most favorite gift was the Gymini deluxe playmat, which we're forbidden to donate, handoff or remove from the closet in her br.
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[-]I loved the piece by Sheila Hopkins, who writes about her father for www.dadmagazineonline.com. The current issue is devoted to the color "orange," which is weird, but Sheila's piece is about how dads of her dad's generation didn't talk much. They just quietly showed their love.
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[-]Can someone explain why parents and nannies don't interact at parks? I am a mom with light brown skin that gets mistaken to be a nanny and thus most other parents avoid me. I have also noticed these parents treat nannies, esp. those with a non-American accent quite rudely. What gives? Are people really that blatantly racist in this day and age?
27 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]it's not as much nanny/parent, it's commonality.. i'm friends with a friend's nanny who is just like anyone else's grandma, it's like handing out and drinking tea and talking current events if we have playdates. but i'm not going to hang out and text the rest of the nannies that are college drop outs in our neighborhood (we don't have the race/class/illegals thing here, it's more college kids vs the moms)
[ Reply | Options ]OP: OK, I can understand you want to hang out with people you have things in common with, but I am really bothered by the basics...some parents act if the nannies are invisible. They never say please, excuse me or thank you to the nannies, but are sickeningly sweet with other white parents??
[ Reply | Options ]This is something that really bothers me in other contexts as well. So many people are polite and civil to everyone they think they have to suck up to or would like to be friends with. Everyone else is treated not very friendly... I'm really trying (and trying to teach my kids) that true good manners mean that you have to be friendly / helpful / polite to everybody.
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When there are not a lot of people at the park, I talk to who ever is there. We speak Spanish to my dd, so often Spanish speaking nannies will talk with us. I tend to be silent and just watch dd when there are a lot more people around. I think there is a social class thing as much as a race thing going on.
[ Reply | Options ]It has to do as much (if not more) with class than race. Wealthy, successful types tend to want to be around other wealthy, successful types.
[ Reply | Options ]ITA: I usually accompany my dd to the park in less than stylish clothing (yes, What not to Wear would looove my outfits) and am never approached by other parents. But when I am coming from work or wear a nice coat (covering my outfit), other parents speak to me a lot more.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: So people like me, who have brown skin, but happen to be ivy league graduates with more than our fair share of "wealth and success", are not considered equals? Wow, I never realized people are this shallow!
[ Reply | Options ]Don't be naive. You know very well that black and brown-skinned folk are viewed differently than everybody else. It takes time to change these long held perceptions.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: Yes, they are treated differently and will continue to be, precisely b/c excuses like "it takes time" absolves people of personal responsibility to at the very minimum be civil.
[ Reply | Options ]sooo...complete strangers who choose not to acknowledge you in a public park are racists? You sound a little entitled to me, with your talk of ivy league degrees.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: I am not talking about acknowledgement, but kindness when you are sharing the same immediate space. BTW, the ivy league comment was in response to someone's comment about people wanting to associate with those in their own class. And, yes, I do feel entitled to basic respect!
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You can't take it personally. No one talks to me either and I'm blond and blue eyed. People are not really social at parks.
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I dunno about you, but I met a few nice nannies in the last few years as well as moms. However, let's admit, it's hard to gossip with nannies about the dread topics...SCHOOL and lousy husbands. Moms are more willing to dish it up about admissions, etc... and empathize/share about deadbeat dhs.
[ Reply | Options ]OP: Thanks for all the responses. I do think most people in parks want to be left alone, which is fine, but I think there needs to be common courtesy towards any other person you come across, even if you don't want to associate with them b/c of "fill in the blank". Don't think you can be rude b/c it's a stranger. I hope no one treats you or your child like that...
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[-]Ok - I have a mom confession. Please no flames cause I feel bad enough. 1. my 2 yr old is still on the bottle 2x per day, 2, haven't started toilet training yet and 3. I keep forgetting to brush her teeth which now I am worried about. anyone else btdt?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]Yep, I have 4 kids. You are fine. Mine dropped the bottle at 3 or 4 years old (I mean, come on, there's nothing that's damaging about it!). Kept the paci (for sleeping) for a long time (to 4 years old). I toilet trained at 3 years old and it took a couple of days, no problem. Don't worry
[ Reply | Options ]i won't criticise, but please make sure to brush well, esp. before bed. My almost 3 just had his first cavity filled and has an appointment for another. not a pleasant experience. learned my lesson...
[ Reply | Options ]Like I told the other lady, don't worry too much about the brushing. These teeth will fall out and they will get their permanent teeth. Cavities and gum disease are caused by certain bacteria. If you or your dh have cavities, you both may be carrying this bacteria. Just make sure you do not share food and exchange saliva. And about the other stuff. I understand, it's really hard to take those steps for the next level. my advice, start the potty training now. It will take at least 6 months and even afterwards there may be accidents. Just be consistent. You may not have success for a while. Kids at this age are considered resistant. Do NOT wait until you child is 3. It gets way worse and they get more resistant the longer you wait. Most child...
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I have totally btdt. And I am here to tell you none of those things matter, except maybe the teethbrushing, and even that i'm not so sure. i don't even remember when my kid stopped the bottle, but i do remember that it was considered "late" and my only regret is that i gave it a moment's thought. ditto with toilet training. there will always be people who enjoy living in an authoritative world with rules for everything, even if there is no justification for it beyond that's the way our culture is. it makes them feel comfortable. please enjoy your children and don't spend a moment feeling bad about such meaningless things. really. I PROMISE they won't go to kindergarten in diapers, will learn to sip from a real cup, and their permane...
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[-]website for cute and different kids clothes ( tea collection style) ? out of the ordinary gap/gymboree/janie and jack/ etc. thanks
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A highly rated private teacher has been hired to teach our child privately in an upscale homeschool setting for his First and/or Second grade year. We are interested in finding one or two other children to share this very personalized educational experience with for the upcoming school year. Our teacher has 10 years of experience teaching academically talented children and in this year alone, our son has progressed rapidly. This private teaching setting includes a beautiful classroom set up with a indoor play space. The curriculum taught is the standard state adopted curriculum for California: no religous influences are involved. Additionally, weekly social play groups are held with other homeschooled children within San Francisco. ...
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[-]Hey ladies and gentleman, 45k/ 75k mom here. How is everybody doing?
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Hello - Can anyone recommend a great ob/gyn and/or fertility specialist in SF who has a more holistic and less clinical approach (i.e. understands FAM/BBT charts)? I went to a new ob/gyn in an office that specializes in fertility to discuss that we've been TTC for 1 year and to my dismay she did not care to look at my charts. Thanks!
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