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[+] I've been married for 16 years and I'm 42. I had a conversation with a guy friend of ... 30 replies
- Love the totally bare brazilian wax, so clean, wouldnt have it any other way especially for childbirth!...
- looks too fake for me, i prefer more natural look...
Talk : : February 10, 2009
I've been married for 16 years and I'm 42. I had a conversation with a guy friend of mine from college last night that surprised me -- he never got married, but has been quite the cad. He said in the last 20 years, he's seen the "fashion" for women's pubic hair to go from neatly trimmed to landing strip to now totally bare. This shocked me. Is this true? Can anyone explain personal experience? Any nurses or OB-GYNs on who can confirm or deny? I'm fascinated. I guess I got stuck at "neatly trimmed/bikini wax" and my DH and I have never been the wiser. What's the deal?
30 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.10.09, 10:38 AM [ Flag ]-
lol -- he's an old friend. generally no topics are off limits with us.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Love the totally bare brazilian wax, so clean, wouldnt have it any other way especially for childbirth!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yuck yuck yuck yuck and my husband would laugh you out of bed if he saw that -- but i guess that is what makes horse races -- personally i do not want to see a grown woman imitating a prepubescent child, and i do not want to see your bare-assed vagina.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
dh is the wiser if he watches porn!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]dh below: I would be really careful about holding my wife to porn standards. That is a slippery slope.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]slippery hehe
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
a dh: that trend is less than 20 years old.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what trend?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]The landing strip to bare part. My impression is that less hair than just a nicely trimmed bush is more in the last ten years than the last twenty. (But then again, I was not living in an urban area back then...)
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
he said over the last 20 years he's seen a progression. i'm not sure he specified how recently totally bare came into style
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Fair enough. I'm just thinking it would be more specific to say it is in the last ten years.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^ but I have mostly been with women of my age cohort so it could be generational too. (I'm gonna stop talking about this now.)
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]something come up?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I realized I was talking out of my ass. -or
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
no wait! I was trying to pinpoint that -- if it's a generational thing or not. So you've stayed in your age range and seen this progression too?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm back. I think it is a generational thing. I'm 40 and dw is within a few years. We've been dating/married for about ten so it is almost ten since I have seen a bush which was not hers. (Bachelor parties, Skinimax and Marisa Tomei movies excluded.) In the 23+ years leading up to my "myopia" (tunnel vision seemed a bad choice of puns) I never knew a woman with a Brazilian. I had a few girlfriends who shaved the whole thing to see what it was like but I never knew a woman who did that regularly.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm in essentially the same position as previous poster. Same experience - never saw it in women I dated.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Sure. It's gotten do bad that pubic lice are endangered. I'm not making this up:
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/241712/Donate_your_pubic_lice_to_a_good_cause
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]That is pretty funny. I thought it was like an "Onion" site but that is for real. (I, thankfully, am unable to help.)
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
DH; it is a porn trend that goes along with silicone injections in the lips and chest... looks too fake for me, i prefer more natural look
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I had it for a while. I'm mid-40s. I have to say that DH loved some porn before we got married so I don't know if that's why I did it. When I had a D&C, the 50-something nurse raised her eyebrows right before I went under. B**$H
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's been a progression over the past 20 years as a result of the internet and increased access to porn. I went in for a Brazilian wax thinking it would be the landing strip and got the totally bare instead. DH didn't like it. Fully bare was "too Chester the Molester" for him (his words) and not a turn on. He's 50 and prefers more natural. My stepdaughters and their friends have been waxed Brazilian style since age 14 with their mothers' knowledge (and money). They view it in the same grooming category as a manicure/pedicure. Generational difference.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]If I ever have a 14yo daughter, there is no way in hell she is using my money (with my consent) for a Brazilian. She wants that so badly, I'll give her a tweezer and some privacy. -a dh
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm sorry, that's just weird - have a 14 yo dd and she and her friends are definitely NOT doing this.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 03:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
it's definitely generational.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]The trend is bare to bold. It is great,. Have HD do same.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]So for those of you over 40 -- nevermind, I'm asking this separately for more traffic.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]this is what my ob/gyn friend tells me too.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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[+] Retroverted uterus - does it make any difference re. labor and delivery? Over the cou... 6 replies
Talk : : February 09, 2009
Retroverted uterus - does it make any difference re. labor and delivery? Over the course of my TTC procedures and the fertility rigmarole, I learned that I have a retroverted/retroflexed uterus. While the doctor told me this was irrelevant as far as delivery, my mother has a similar setup and said she had horrible back labor for the 4 times she did natural childbirth and urged me to "go for the C-section, no doubt." My mom is whack about a lot of things, so I am by nature skeptical of a lot of things she says, but can't discredit her experience. Did any of you guys have a retroverted u, and were you advised on any particular course of action because of it?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.09.09, 10:56 AM [ Flag ]I was told my uterus was "tilted." I do not know the medical term for this, if there is any at all. ANyway, it straightened itself out with an 8lb baby in it. had a c section anyway, but not for that reason.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 10:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: this is what I was told also. I don't think it affected labor in any way, though I did push for 3 hours with #1. But only 5 minutes for #2.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 11:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I had 3 vag deliveries, no back labor
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 10:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i had 4 vaginal deliveries. BIG back labor with all 4, but no real problems.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 11:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Tilted uterus here. 2 vaginal births. No problems.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 11:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Mine is tilted too; had a csection for other reasons. no one mentioned any special treatment because of it
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 11:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] anyone tried to turn their babies ? not with acupuncture, but with the horrible sound... 7 replies
- back, and the doctor tapped me again. The baby turned again, and I had a normal, natural delivery. (Had tried acupuncture first, but that did absolutely nothing.)...
- afterwards. Unfortunately it did not work and I ended up having a C-section a week later. (I was pretty upset about it because I wanted natural childbirth, but it wasn't as bad as I'd feared. In fact, the recovery from surgery was easier than with my first DB, a...
Talk : : August 07, 2008
anyone tried to turn their babies ? not with acupuncture, but with the horrible sounding manual method ?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.07.08, 07:28 PM [ Flag ]I did the "external version" as they call it. I have to admit, it was really quite scary and ultimately, my dc would not budge. My OB gave up after a few attempts and I was so relieved. My dh and I vowed that if our second child was also breech, we would not do it again.
[ Reply | Options ]08.07.08, 07:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have heard that it rarely works, yet my SIL will try this next week. I have also heard that it is very painful.
[ Reply | Options ]08.07.08, 07:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i did that. it was pretty painful but not terrible. (especially not when you think about the fact that sooner or later you will try to squeeze a 7 pound object through your vagina. a little external pushing doesn't sound so bad compared to that!). it ended up not working for me but it turned out that there was an abnormality in my case.
[ Reply | Options ]08.07.08, 07:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yep. I can't say what it is like for other people; for me, it was incredibly easy. The doctor tapped me once, the baby turned. The baby turned back, and the doctor tapped me again. The baby turned again, and I had a normal, natural delivery. (Had tried acupuncture first, but that did absolutely nothing.)
[ Reply | Options ]08.07.08, 07:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. yours is the first story I have ever heard like this. It obviously must work for some or they'd have stopped doing it, but I only hear the negatives.
[ Reply | Options ]08.07.08, 07:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
We tried the external version just about 7 weeks ago. My doctor said we had a good chance of turning the baby because I'd already had a baby (which stretches out the uterus) and because of the placement of the placenta. They actually gave me an epidural for the version so I had to be admitted to the Labor and Delivery floor. It did hurt (not excruciating, but definitely not fun) -- even with the epidural -- and I felt sore and bruised for a few days afterwards. Unfortunately it did not work and I ended up having a C-section a week later. (I was pretty upset about it because I wanted natural childbirth, but it wasn't as bad as I'd feared. In fact, the recovery from surgery was easier than with my first DB, a vaginal birth.) Anyway, if you go through with the version, good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]08.07.08, 08:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^you decide to go through with it, good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]08.07.08, 08:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Anyone have experience with delivering with minimal interventions at NY Presbyterian ... 18 replies
- You need to take a good speed childbirth class (Bradley is what you'd want) if you honestly don't know what fully dilated is and...
- At least should have taken natural childbirth classes and worked all this out before. But you're 35 weeks so call a Bradley teacher quick and get a crash course....
Talk : : July 28, 2008
Anyone have experience with delivering with minimal interventions at NY Presbyterian Cornell? What's the best approach/strategy to "fight" for things like limited monitoring, no IV, no induction, etc.?
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.28.08, 12:54 PM [ Flag ]Best approach is to stay home until you are fully dialated. Otherwise, be ready to fight every step of the way, and train DH to speak up for you.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 12:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA! You are putting yourselves in the hands of folks who have EVERY possible tool and you expect them not to use it? (that said, they are the best!) Just wait until late in labor to go in and put your DH on the case.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No WAY could I have waited until fully dialated (I would have bit my fingers off) - I did wind up asking a lot of questions and refusing some things (like a catheter), and holding off on breaking of water until later on. I was just very polite but firm - some stuff I won, some I lost (I had an IV in the whole time)
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 01:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Labor is different for different people. My water broke spontaneously at home after several hours of crampy discomfort - maybe usual menstrual cramps plus backache x 2 but nothing that made me feel I needed to leave the bathtub, glass of wine, and comforts of home. My husband is a full-service kind of person so he was on the case with massage, etc. When water broke it took us a while to make it to the hospital. Once there, I was examined and, fully dilated, ready to push (even started on toilet because it felt so much like a bowel movement.) I moved to a table and in a semi-sitting position pushed baby out. Nothing needed to be done for me but my girl needed some suction and stimulation to get going so I'm glad I was at the best children's hospital for her sake!
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 01:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Delivered uptown with no interventions. Stayed home till fully dilated
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 12:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks for all the comments - does staying hom until fully dialated mean staying home past the "contractions 5 min apart for over an hour" ? How do you know when you're fully dilated?
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 01:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np. I delivered there and did end up with induction etc but I made them explain everything to me pros and cons before doing anything. I felt happier that way knowing what was going on and why. I would have felt comfortable refusing to have certain things done but they would strongly try to persuade you. GL If you really want no/min intervention why not look at a birthing center?
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 01:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks - too late now that I am 35 weeks. I didn't realize how hard it was to have them respect your wishes. I understand the "need" for certain medical interventions, but from what I gather they do them when not needed. Depending on how it goes, I may look into it for #2
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 01:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: just don't view it as an "us" vs "them" situation
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 01:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yes. I stayed home till ctx were every two minutes. I live close to the hospital. Delivered w/in half an hour. Also, you can check your own dialation. (Didn't occur to me with first, but you can).
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 05:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I was at Lennox Hill. But, the best thing is to make sure your ob understands what you want going in. There is not a way around iv & monitoring, although you can get up and move around.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 01:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You need to take a good speed childbirth class (Bradley is what you'd want) if you honestly don't know what fully dilated is and you're 35 weeks! Call Sandy Jamrog. If she can't help you she'll know who can.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 01:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My class starts this week
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 09:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Why did you pick the doctor(s) you have if you don't trust them and feel that you need to "fight" with them. If you wanted no interventions, you should have been seeing a midwife with plans to deliver at a birthing center.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 05:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]At least should have taken natural childbirth classes and worked all this out before. But you're 35 weeks so call a Bradley teacher quick and get a crash course.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 05:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: It's hardly a "fight". The hospitals are predisposed to intervene - IVs, monitors, epidurals. It's easier on them to have the patient in bed being monitored w/pain killers. It is a real struggle I think to not have interventions. OP is well within her rights to try.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 06:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Write out a birth plan detailing what you want. Give it to your OB before delivery and bring it with you to the hospital. They have to honor it to the best of their ability. I had a wonderful birth there but I brought along a doula for extra advocacy (had a difficult first birth elsewhere).
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 06:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I had both my kids at Cornell and both w/o epidural. I had a great doula who sort of did what the nurses didn't have time to do (help me through contractions, give me tips on coping, etc). She advocated for me and drs and nurses were much more open to her than to me. My 2nd baby I had a dr who was totally OK w/my wanting no epidural. He told nurses who pretty much left me alone w/DH and doula. Good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 06:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Is St. Luke's really the only choice if I want a natural birth? I don't want a home b... 101 replies
- for it at some places. I had a natural birth at NYU with a doula. The doula...want to home birth either, but after my natural birth induced for being low fluid / low movement...hospitals including Columbia Presbyterian have astoundingly horridly low natural birth rates -- you have to do your...to read is 'Ina May's Guide to Childbirth'....
- practice) are committed to helping you through a natural birth. OBs like that are hard to find...
Talk : : July 28, 2008
Is St. Luke's really the only choice if I want a natural birth? I don't want a home birth and seems like most of the hospitals are very quick with medical interventions but maybe I'm wrong. FWIW this will be our first pregnancy. TIA.
101 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.28.08, 08:19 AM [ Flag ]you can deliver without meds anywhere, talk to your dr. about what you would like to ideally happen. That said, the birthing center at SLR is a great place.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It is very hard to deliver naturally at Cornell, I did it but fights every step of the way.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ditto, but no fights. You just need to make sure OB is on board and get a doula.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]If OB is busy delivering another patient that won't help you. Doula might, I did not go that route.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 12:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]get a doula that has been to Cornell before and a dr. that supports natural childbirth. You might even ask your dr. for a doula recommendation. Def. mention to the dr. very early on that you would like to go that route.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
OP - But if I were delivering at any hospital don't they push induction if you are in labor too long - they want everyone in and out? I don't even want to be hooked up to an IV or EFM during labor - I also don't want to be flat on my back when it comes time to actually deliver.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you really need to talk to your ob. why don't you want any monitoring? what if there is a health issue? I think it is really important to keep an open mind as your pregnancy progresses.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm not saying no monitoring - I don't want constant monitoring- intermittent monitoring unless there is a problem, but there is no reason for continuous EFM - I'm not planning on induction, nor is this a VBAC so there is no reason for it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^ I'm also looking for an OB or midwife - my current one is no longer doing OB and I'm not seeing the partners b/c of other reasons.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I delivered with Dr. gae Rodke--she works with the birthing center and the regular R&D. she's very open minded and will work with you to have the kind of birth you want. again, keep an open mind, we can't always control the process.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP - I know I can't control it, but I can educate myself and make informed decisions as to what interventions I may or may not need. I don't think I am close-minded at all, just a little concerned that the trend, especially in NYC is a very medically oriented birth. Thanks for the Dr. rec. I will definitely look into her!
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 09:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you want to avoid induction/pitocin, you should not get to the hospital until labor is well established--no matter where you deliver.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 01:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Sandra Woods CNM is an amazing midwife and has many years affiliation w/the Bithing Center at SLR. We and many others we know, can only give glowing reports about our experiences w/labor and delivery there. Even those whom had compications and moved upstairs to the labor/delivery floor, were accompanied by their midwife.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sandra Woods delivered my third child and she is the best birth attendant. She is absolutely fantastic.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 10:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Mine tooand my daughter, whom is on a first name basis with her, hasn't seen her outside of a photo since birth! What a smart, calm, strong person.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 07:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hello,
[ Reply | Options ]01.01.09, 03:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hello, S. Woods will be my midwife and I will deliver at the birthing center. I am curious to know more about how it goes. I am from Europe and am not familiar with the american birthing or insurance 'system'. I have insurance (Cigna) through my employer but have heared that the hospital can sometimes still charge you fees for the delivery... Would anyone be able to inform me about what I should expect financialy? It would be a great help. Thank you!
[ Reply | Options ]01.01.09, 03:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You might want to start researching midwives they can help you with the docs. I did the wonderful but no more Eliz. Seton Birthing center. Now I'd do home birth (yuck) or SLR - if I could get there in time - I have very short labors)
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes in theory you can deliver without meds however you will have to fight very hard with all the nurses and residents when your OB is not there -- some hospitals have a very ingrained birth "meathod" -- speaking for myself at Lenox Hill
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you dont like st. lukes? its a great hospital btw
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't not like St. Luke's - we are actually doing the tour in 3 weeks. It's just far from me and makes DH a bit nervous getting there in labor - I think we will have plenty of time but I've never had a baby so I don't know.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]How far are you? I delivered there (but I asked for drugs ASAP :), not in the birthing center). I toured the birthing center and it does seem good b/c you are at a hospital in case but they make it a little more homey.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Park Slope.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hmm... yeah, that might be a little far to be honest. Although I needed to be close more b/c I went right into back to back contractions and wanted drugs. If they aren't going to interfere much maybe you can take 45 to get there? But would the OBs be too far? You have to go a lot. My Dr. is on the UWS and that would be a pain for you. (My Dr. is not the right person for you anyway if you are considering natural, trust me).
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I work on the UWS so it shouldn't be too bad for most of the pregnancy, also my GP is on the UWS.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]This is a tough one, but it would work out during the pregnancy really well and then you would have a delivery somewhere designed for you with a safe back up. Plus, friends premies had a great experience there, something else that is always good to know. Can you find an OB and ask them their thoughts?
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]-- also (this is still the same poster), FWIW I am the least crunchy person ever and asked for drugs right away, and was still blown away by how much they rushed the whole birth, gave me pitosin (spelling?) so early and then freaked out about the baby's heart rate (b/c they gave me pitosin, duh!) and then had to use something to pull the baby out. In the regular part of the hospital.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
so why not LICH? know lots of people who've done all-natural deliveries there.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 09:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I never considered it - I have no idea why though - I should do the tour.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 09:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]LICH is okay. Just make sure you get a midwife, not an OB.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Aren't they closing their L&D?
[ Reply | Options ]07.31.08, 04:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what?? not that I know of. How could a hospital close l&d?
[ Reply | Options ]07.31.08, 05:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I caught something about it on the news at 6am but didn't hear the whole thing - someone must have seen it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.31.08, 10:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: I have heard that. (FWIW: I would have my child in the Chinese Restaurant across the street before I would go to LICH again. Except for their prenatal imaging. That department ROCKS!)
[ Reply | Options ]09.03.08, 07:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Not too far. I came from Park Slope, quick delivery too, was fully dilated when I arrived. It was fine. I'd be more concerned about the lack of proper lactation consulting/training in nurses and assistants than anything, there personally. They talk the talk, but don't invest anything into breastefeeding. Cornell is truly more breastfeeding friendly.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I live in Brooklyn and delivered there twice. You should have tome to get there.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Where - that's encouraging.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]brooklyn heights
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I live in Park Slope and delivered at SLR first birth -- you will have pleeenty of time to get there. DO NOT succumb to your DH's wishes to get you there early, that is how many women including my sister-in-law end up with C-sections. The hospital can only let laboring women hang around there taking up precious space for so long, and then they come up with something ("the baby is not coming out fast enough, there must be something wrong")to shepard you into the surgery room. Have your DH watch the documentary "The Business of Being Born".
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We are planning on watching that soon - he is currently 100% supportive of natural birth and has really begun reading up and doing as much research as possible, but he is still going to be a nervous first time dad so that is where he is concerned.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]they actually sent me HOME in the middle of my eventual 38-hour labor (ended up with a c/s anyway)
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 07:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
If you want a natural birth in a hospital setting I would recommend a labor doula. You can have a natural birth anywhere but it is harder to advocate for it at some places. I had a natural birth at NYU with a doula. The doula helped me stay home for most of labor, which was key to avoiding interventions.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Same story for me but at Cornell. I would never go natural without a doula. The pain is totally manageable, but it's a lot less scary if you have someone there who's been around the block.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 03:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
A friend of mine delivered at Belvedere b/c she wanted that experience. Also had a midwife.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's good you realize it will be hard. I'd get a midwife and a doula. SLR is good, even if you get bumped to L&D or are induced, esp. w/ a midwife. I didn't want to home birth either, but after my natural birth induced for being low fluid / low movement at 41.5 weeks (kicked in to a fast labor on Cervidil only, thankfully), I'd consider it, realizing how hard it is to avoid interventions (I planned on birthing center w/ midwife, but you can only use bc up to 41 weeks). I wish there were other good options. That said, I was prepared, and had no problem getting through, neither will you! I hope you have a supportive dh, but look into a doula in any case, and maybe even interview a home birth midwife or two. GL...
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 09:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think a home birth is totally an non-option for me - we are in a building with the thinnest walls ever - I hear people sneezing - I am just not comfortable with it - also - it's too small to feel comfortable for me. If we move before then maybe - but right now no.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 09:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I delivered with no meds at Columbia, hooked up to absolutely nothing, roomed in with baby, breastfed only, husband with me 24 hours a day. The trick is good communication with dr and stay home for as long as you can. Then stay mobile. I would never go anywhere else for birth since that is the tertiary care center for babies. If something goes seriously wrong with a baby, that's where you end up so that's where I'd rather start out.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 09:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Columbia is even farther away from me - I'm in Brooklyn.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 09:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I live in Park Slope and delivered first birth at St Luke's-Roosevelt regular L&D ward normal birth, no meds, drug free, no IV and not on my back BUT, BIG DISCLAIMER: there only way I pulled it off was because I had an ob who guided me throughout labor and made sure I labored at home, in my own tub, using her effective pain amelioration techniques until very late. I delivered less than an hour after arriving at the hospital. I cannot imagine what it would have been like to labor at on that floor. Also the nurse tried to put an IV in me even though it was so late and I was obviosuly fine, but my precious ob wiaved her off. IT IS SLR HOSPITAL POLICY TO PUT AN IV IN YOU NO MATTTER HOW LATE YOU ARRIVE. The post partum nurse the next day could not believe I escaped without an IV. I also did not deliver on my back because I knew others who used my ob and did not deliver on my back, and my ob was ok with that. But there was a medical resident observing in the room, and she had never seen it before, and she sounded surprised that my ob let me get away with it. Your ob is a very very important determining factor as to what kind of birth you can have on the regular L&D ward at SLR. Thanks to my ob, I did it, but she is a rare gem. However, arriving 30 minutes before birth is cutting it too close. I am going to get there earlier next time and climb into one of those wonderful looking tubs in the birth center ** LESSON LEARNED: I AM SIGNING UP FOR THE BIRTH CENTER NEXT TIME. ** My ob delivers there too, so I am all set. Please have talk with your ob and also talk to women who used her to see if you might have a possibility of doing something along the lines of what I did -- otherwise strongly consider signing up for the birth center. (Other hospitals including Columbia Presbyterian have astoundingly horridly low natural birth rates -- you have to do your due diligence into both hospital and ob/midwife.)
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Who is your OB? I would consent to a heplock probably but am really not thrilled with an IV unless I wind up GBS+. I am floored by the statistics I have seen regarding C-section rates in NYC as well as induction rate.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You really don't have a choice. They won't give you an IV if your doctor is okay with it at SLR and cornell, but you don't have a choice abou the heplock. That's the minimum.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 08:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I ould love the name of your OB, please?
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]First - who is your OB? I would most likely consent to a heplock unless I was GBS+. I am really disturbed by the stats I have seen regarding C-section rates etc. at most NYC hospitals.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Who's your OB. I would most likely consent to a heplock, unless I was GBS+ then I would do the IV. I am shocked at the stats of NYC hospitals.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry for the triple replies- computer or UB is being wonky!
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 11:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You can fight the IV, I did twice at Cornell but it was no fun at all. The nurses did not like me one bit.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I resisted the IV with my first child big time (to no avail) but with child no.3, I asked actually asked for one (in the birthing center). Labor is really hard on the body and an IV is a great thing to give you energy and hydration.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 10:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I actually want to get hydration energy through foods/liquids which is better for me and the baby.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 06:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Gatorade Popsicles are great
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 07:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
just curious why you don't want a homebirth? I think it's the way to go if you really don't want any unnecessary interventions. I've attended 100+ births in the city and cannot stress enough how un-free you are in a hospital or even a birth center setting.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^also, if you're dead set on a hospital, have you considered St. Vincent's?
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why would you recommend St. Vincent's over the birthing center at SLR (other than they are closer to me)?
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 11:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]St V's is the closest thing NYC has to a baby-friendly hospital. No nursery, automatic rooming-in, lactation staff, experience with unmedicated birth, midwives who deliver there, used to be the backup hosp for Elizabeth Seton. It's just decent.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 12:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I posted my reasons above - but basically I am in a smaller apartment (1 small bathroom) with the thinnest walls known to man - I am am not comfortable with my apartment as a birth site right now, I might consider it if we move but that is not likely right now.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why not SLR birth center??? You have plenty of time to get there.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP - I just wanted to know if that was my only option if I didn't want a home birth, we are touring SLR in August.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]uh, have you read the rest of the thread??
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
are you a doula?
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes. Well, pretty much "retired" now since I have two of my own, but yes.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry I double-replied, my computer is being fusterating, as my ds says!!
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
P.S. to my previous post -- it is apparently SLR hospital policy (and every other hospital in the city?) to put an IV in you on the regular L&D ward, but presumably not on the birth center floor.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Nope. No IV for me at Columbia. I arrived nearly ready to push. Baby out in 20 minutes. Perfect!
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i had a great birthing experience (my first) at Roosevelt - in the hospital, not the birthing center. my OB listened to my birthing plan, which included using hypno birthing for as long as possible. i ended up getting an epidural - i was under no illusion that the hypnosis was going completely take away my pain, but i do credit for giving me an extremely easy and fast birthing experience. I started early labor at 6am - was at home, walking, sitting on the birthing ball all while listening to the hypno cd's at 12.30pm i was at the doctor's office who told me i was 8cm and get to the hospital. I had an epidural at 2pm and my dd was born at 6.33pm. The nurse - I think her name was Cindy or Cynthia she was so nice and so helpful and supportive.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You might want to consider a more effective form of pain relief than hypnobirthing next time. Like an "aquadural" (that is, a tub filled with warm water) and a health care provider ob or midwife (or doula if your ob/midwife cannot be depended upon) who can guide you with other effective tools from her toolbox. Also: an ob who does not tell you to go to the hospital if you are still hours away from birth and can still labor comfortably in your own home.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 02:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I liked how my birth went and would do the same again hypno and and an epidural.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 03:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
P.P.S. Please have your husband take a birthing class or otherwise make him understand that you do NOT want to get to a regular L&D ward early. Your chances of medical intervention or even c-section skyrocket. The other key to me pulling off a normal birth at SLR regular L&D ward was that my husband was fine with me being home until the bitter end, and driving a screaming wife into Manhattan. If yours is not, please strongly consider the birth center (which sounds like it may be the best place for you for a variety of reasons.) There will be plenty of time to get there. Have a great birth!
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm truly hoping that mine will be - he's getting better with more knowledge, we will be taking classes and right now I am reading Henci Goer's book, and he will be too once I am finished. I think the rational side of him will be fine - the emotional new dad side is what I worry about :)
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 11:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I just had my first baby in June at Lenox Hill -- they will push every drug at you and offered me a C/S at the first sign of distress 5 minutes after hooking up the monitor(had a vaginal birth with a perfectly healthy baby btw). Those monitors are more harm than good imho.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]not just iyo--study after study has shown that they increase c/s rates and cause no improvement in outcomes whatsoever.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 11:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR - thank you! I can see that the internal monitor is more acurate but the external monitor is not reliable and I cannot BELIEVE that they would jump to a C/S after a clearly incorrect reading. Luckily my OB stepped in and overruled the emergency room OB.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 11:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]The IFM (internal monitor) is a lot more accurate but has major downsides too--limits mobility radically, increases chance of infection, requires rupture of membranes--should never be used routinely. The intermittent external monitor is the best way to go, unfortunately doesn't give as much of a paper trail as the external monitor, which is the downside for liability-minded docs
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 11:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
OP - part of the reason I do not want to be hooked up to one continuously.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 11:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR - I was the same as you but I was 41 weeks and baby was not moving on the last sonogram and all my wishes sort of went out the window. It ended up being a very quick and "textbook" labor after the initial monitor issue which I still believe was put on me incorrectly. oh well... baby is super strong and healthy and I only has a tiny rip - cant ask for much better
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 12:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]but you can. And the sad thing is that you think you can't. You really, really can.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 12:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]its hard during labor to argue.. of course I have run it over and over in my head since then
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 02:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP - I am worried that if I don't make the right decisions and come up with the right plan now I will wind up going back and saying - "I wish this had happened instead" That's why I am doing all of this planning and research now. I know things can happen during labor/delivery but I want to be as prepared as possible to make the best decisions.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 06:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I delivered at NYU and Mt. Sinai with no drugs, no IV, intermittend monitoring, squated for delivery -- everything you want. The key is getting you OB on board. If your OB is ok with it, and signs your birth plan, you will be fine. Stay home as long as possible and then give the signed birthing plan to the nurse when you arrive. also, definately take a bradley course and have a labor doula to advocate for you. No one can force an intervention on you. You have to agree to it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 11:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]SInce I need a new OB anyway, I will make sure to select one based on what I know I want already, however I really want to decide where the best place for me to give birth is based on what I already know I want - if I need a new OB already why not choose one that way - it will narrow down the list for me.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I totally agree with this except for when the OB only shows up for the last 10 minutes...then you are at the mercy of the residents and attending OB
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 12:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Another book to read is 'Ina May's Guide to Childbirth'.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 02:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Loved that and also the Real Book of Birth, or whatever it's called, by the Realbirth owner.
[ Reply | Options ]07.28.08, 03:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Big Book of Birth, by Erica Lyon
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 06:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
OP - I just bought it, thanks!
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 06:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Hi, your options are SLR (I hear you on being nervous about getting there though. Probably would be plenty of time, but you never know. I delivered my first within minutes of arriving at SLR and never made it to the birthing center because i was ready to push when i arrived and the baby was about to crown--no exaggeration! and i live in chelsea. it was a straight shoot up the WSHway but it was a friday night -- nightclub traffic. The midwives put in my file for my second birth that i am prone to "precipitous labor" and indeed, from first contraction to birth, I delivered my second in less than 2 hours). Choices in Brooklyn include LICH and there is a freestanding birthing center further out, i think south, in brooklyn, near maimonides hospital -- I think? I don't know what it's called. but i believe it's in a townhouse? I did check out LICH, but not the freestanding center since it was too far for me. SLR is definitely the newer/nicer of the two hospital birthing centers. ask a midwife in brooklyn about the freestanding center if you're interested. good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 07:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's called the Brooklyn Birthing center - Maimonides is the B/U hospital.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 06:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
It really really matters if your OB (and the partners in his practice) are committed to helping you through a natural birth. OBs like that are hard to find, so midwives are a more common choice for woman who really want to do natural. I think the birth attendant matters more than the hospital. I had three kids at Roosevelt (St. Luke's (uptown division) actually did away with the maternity ward, as far as I know). One at L&D, two at the birthing center.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 10:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]there's brooklyn birthing center. i had dd there and for me it was perfect.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 07:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You mean Roosevelt
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 07:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm in EXACTLY the same situation -- first pregnancy, don't want a home birth, don't want the monitors/IV that are standard in most L/D departments. After starting out at Cornell, I changed doctors and moved to the SLR birthing center. It really does seem like the ideal choice, esp. for us slightly more nervous first-time moms. You're in a hospital if you need it, but can move around, take a bath, etc. during labor. I have a midwife who's backed up by a great doctor. Good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]09.03.08, 06:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You can go to North Central Bronx Hospital. The entire 7th floor is run by midwives. They'll even take you at the last minute -- as a walk-in. The people there are really nice and really competent -- a rare combo in NYC!
[ Reply | Options ]11.18.08, 06:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] It really riles me that anyone objects to public breastfeeding. Discreet, indescreet,... 64 replies
- to the bathroom in public. It's a natural, necessary thing, but it requires you to partially...to find women with large stomachs because of childbirth hot. Really, a mother should feel free to...because it releases my aggression. it's perfectly natural, and I have no problems doing it. It...functions you would not recoil at what is natural and normal in most of the world....
- is acting like what you're doing is natural and expecting that people will be disinterested....
Talk : : July 16, 2008
It really riles me that anyone objects to public breastfeeding. Discreet, indescreet, I DON'T CARE.
64 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.16.08, 11:12 AM [ Flagged ]ita
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:13 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I hear you. What could be more essential and sweet?
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:13 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]ita! It makes me smile when I see a m om nursing.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:15 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np-me too. I actually think, "hey, she's not a freak!"
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:17 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Personally, it always make me feel a little awkward...
[ Reply | Options ]08.04.08, 11:13 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
yes, it's sickening. I'm not bfing any more but the years I was, I was really vigilant about not giving in to that judgment. I bf wherever I needed to and I was proud of it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:15 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]amen
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:15 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]so thats your opinion. I think its a little weird, especially if its indiscrete
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:16 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np-see below. Consider therapy for your sexual repression.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:16 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]ok, so Im repressed because I dont want to whip my tits out in public. that makes so much sense. I get that youre feeding your baby, but there are a lot sickos out there
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:27 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]there are sickos fantasizing about your 5 yo dd walking down the street. But you're not going to keep her indoors because of that, are you?
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:29 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Speaking as a het dude, and obvs I can't speak for all of us, but boobies being suckled by babies is so not hot. They're not sexual organs. They're food. It's all about context.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:49 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Referring to breasts as tits is a dreadful habit indicating disrespect for these magical mothering tools. Perhaps if your developed greater respect for your own body and its proper functions you would not recoil at what is natural and normal in most of the world.
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 10:51 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
do you object to babies indiscreetly sucking on a bottle of formula?
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:18 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]aggg! how could they be so rude!
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:44 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]makes me want to hurl, actually.
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 10:51 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]me too.
[ Reply | Options ]08.04.08, 11:40 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I''l take it further: those who object to bfing can't deal with thier own sexual repression
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:16 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]do you think anyone who does it indescreetly (and i've seen a few who are really indiscreet about it) do it as a sort of exhibitionism? would it bug you if they did?
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:17 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]people have all kinds of bad manners with all kinds of habits. Don't blame the breastfeeding, blame their bad manners.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:19 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np-no and no. Do you *really* think a pp nursing mom is thinking, "hey, my nursing knockers look *HOT* and I want the whole world to see them, dammit!"? For real--they are feeding their kid.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:20 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]nnp: I am 100% behind breastfeeding being publicly protected/acceptable. BUT I think to deny that there is ever motivation behind breastfeeding other than just feeding is naive.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:35 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]but its rarely "look at my tits!"
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:38 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]My darling sister often trumpets her motivation to reduce the likelihood of ear infections and other illnesses, and to provide both herself and her daughters with the prophylaxis against breast cancer that is shown in studies. I'm convinced that all of that is just a cover for her nefarious, filthy dirty desire to feed her children!!
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 10:54 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]LOL! that perv. YOu should call ACS.
[ Reply | Options ]08.04.08, 11:45 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Worst of all, she herself is a designated reporter!!
[ Reply | Options ]08.04.08, 11:57 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I don't object to it, but I do think that there are levels of appropriateness. A colleague's wife came into my husband's office the other week and while sitting there office she just started nursing. I find that a bit surprising.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:19 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]so where should she have gone?
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:36 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]perhaps her own husband's office or the lounge?
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:36 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I personally think that it is fine to bf anywhere. You shouldn't have to feel like a second class citizen
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:44 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I don't think it makes anyone feel like a second class citizen to excuse yourself from a public situation (meeting, dinner, etc) and go to another, more private place to bf. And yes, I EBF my 3 children.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:45 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]except you don't expect a mom to do it with a bottle.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:49 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]actually, I would always feed my child in privacy (if in a very public place) but that is just me. I EBF as long as I could, but when I used a bottle I went to a more private place too.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:51 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]OK then, you get a pass! but lots of people don't see it this way. bottle anyplace, breast in a private place far away from other humans.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:52 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Ok. But again, I think my dh was completely warrented to be a bit shocked by his colleague's wife whipping out her breast in the middle of his office (especially since her dh's office is next door).
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:53 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]and I don't agree. Fortunately, the law is on my side.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:54 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]The law might be, but my lawyer dh still has the right to be surprised by it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:57 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]how so? His office is not a public place. -np
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 12:14 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I'm a BFing mom and I completely agree.
[ Reply | Options ]11.26.08, 02:53 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
why did you go to private place to bottle feed?
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:53 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]because my dcs liked to eat in quiet places whenever possible, it made them happier and allowed me a bit of time to relax as well
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:53 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I think if more women were discreet less people would care. I have a friend who literally takes one arm out of her shirt and is completely naked on one side. People stare.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:19 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]if women are discreet, you dont necesarily know they are bf. so you thinkthat the only way to do ti is indiscreetly because those are the only ones you perceive to be bf.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:24 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np: Kind of like how everyone thinks all toupées are bad toupées...
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 12:09 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]heeee!
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 02:00 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
People stare? That's the problem. You don't want to see women nursing? Then look at something else.
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 10:56 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
i disagree. are you interested in agreeing to disagree?
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 02:05 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Breastfeeding in public is like going to the bathroom in public. It's a natural, necessary thing, but it requires you to partially disrobe and expose your "naughty bits". I'm not saying breastfeeding mothers should go to the bathroom, but there should be a designated area, something in the same light as a smoking area for example.
[ Reply | Options ]07.17.08, 10:06 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I'm actually laughing out loud that you would draw a parallel between breastfeeding and smoking. Life-giving holds an honored place in our species. Life-taking is sensibly shunned.
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 10:57 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]omggggg, this post takes the cake for sad, funny, ignorant and specious all at the same time.
[ Reply | Options ]08.04.08, 11:48 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Is that a joke? I'm laughing.
[ Reply | Options ]11.25.08, 07:37 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Fun fact: There are people with "Adult breast-feeding" or "Lactation" fetishes in the world. Secondary fun fact: I'm one of them. Oddly enough, though, I don't find breastfeeding children in public to be hot. It's probably because I'm not the kind of guy to find women with large stomachs because of childbirth hot. Really, a mother should feel free to breastfeed their child despite these painful truths of the world. But the father should be raging all over anyone staring anyways, shouldn't he?
[ Reply | Options ]07.18.08, 11:40 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Would actually rather my husband wasn't policing the potential "audience". Part of being "discreet" (which wasn't my main concern) is acting like what you're doing is natural and expecting that people will be disinterested.
[ Reply | Options ]11.25.08, 07:51 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
It really riles me that anyone objects to public maturbation. Discreet, indiscreet, I DON'T CARE.
[ Reply | Options ]07.19.08, 01:55 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Now breastfeeding is akin to masturbation? It's not a sexual act, my dear.
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 10:58 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
you people sound just like nudists. i've listened to nudists saying the same exact things you are saying in defense of nudism that you are saying in defense of breastfeeding. the simply fact of life is that there are pedophiles out there and a couple of you may be one of them, even if a few of you are too innocent and naive to tell the difference. there is a certain level of appropriateness and you cross it when you breastfeed in public. I masturbate because it releases my aggression. it's perfectly natural, and I have no problems doing it. It's not about pleasure, it's about releasing the stuff that gives me cancer before it stays in there so long I get cancer. By your rules, I should be allowed to masturbate anywhere I like, even if it is in a bathroom or in an alleyway. You need to take a good hard look at yourself and listen to the things you are saying because you guys sound absolutely ridiculous. public breastfeeding is immoral, the end.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 11:30 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Hahaha, since when does lack of masturbation give you cancer? Seriously, I have NEVER heard that happen. I mean, I've heard of masturbation making hair grow on your palms, but a LACK of it giving cancer?! I'd feel deeply sorry for any religious person if that were true. Masturbation creates no benefit to anything or anyone but the one doing it. (Unless, of course, they were in the desert with someone who has a cum-drinking fetish or something) You can't really compare it to breastfeeding because it is feeding a child what comes naturally. http://www.breastfeeding.com/all_about/all_about_more.html
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 10:48 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]it's true that ejaculating helps to prevent prostate cancer in men; however, drawing a parallel between masturbating in public and breastfeeding in public is specious beyond reason; same with nudism. We are talking about a basic biological need here--that of an infant to eat when she is hungry--which cannot be applied to either other situation. Idiot.
[ Reply | Options ]08.04.08, 11:50 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]d
[ Reply | Options ]09.07.08, 07:33 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Regular ejaculation MAY prevent cancer. There has been studies but nothing concrete. The theory is on the same level as those food studies, like eating tomatoes is bad for your heart but recent studies show that tomatoes prevent heart disease(totally made up).
[ Reply | Options ]09.07.08, 07:32 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
There are foot fetishists in the world so no more Manolos!!!
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 11:00 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I wish I was brave enough to BF in public, sitting in a bathroom stall for 20 minutes to feed your baby really sucks. I don't think people that get offended by discreet public bf really get it, where else do they expect you should do it?
[ Reply | Options ]11.25.08, 08:54 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]At home? Why expose an infant to the harsh world (infant is a child less than one year old [i believe])? Its immune system is practically non-existant (relying on the mothers own immunities) and stuff! Just imagine all those microbials slowly multiplying as they traverse from the toilet seat to your childs brain!!! Mwahahah... Whatever happened to the good old days when women were scared about getting HIV from sitting on a toilet seat?
[ Reply | Options ]01.20.09, 10:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Dismissing parallels is the stuff of childish bickering. While breasts are not primary sexual organs, they are secondary sexual organs and can provoke said response. These men, with no apparent secondary sexual organs, are trying to explain by relating to the only sexual organ they have. Declaring masturbation a false parallel is akin to stating that only women can understand breastfeeding and as such only women can make judgments on the matter. Regardless, addressing the true offense of breastfeeding, in that one must disrobe in order to do so, reveals the more direct parallel of public nudity. Regardless or not of the function being preformed, what must be admitted is that a larger amount of the breast is exposed during breastfeeding than normally. (Of course, if you want to argue legals, you only need to cover your tit and hide your labia and you could walk around the streets nearly naked). So my redirect is if exposing breast should be considered offensive. (Then again, I also believe men shouldn’t be running around without shirts on but that’s a different matter.)
[ Reply | Options ]01.20.09, 10:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Has anyone taken childbirth (or childbirth with epidural) classes at Realbirth in Mid... 6 replies
- Taking childbirth class now in Midtown - really liked the first class - have the second tomorrow. Husband is a...in the class - from a home birth couple to some natural births to those who want epidurals. sorry i cant remember...
- I took the reg childbirth class at realbirth-- out of twenty people I was the...was planning on an epidural. Wish I had taken the childbirth with epidural class, or even just read a book, seriously....
Talk : : July 07, 2008
Has anyone taken childbirth (or childbirth with epidural) classes at Realbirth in Midtown or Chelsea, and would you recommend them?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.07.08, 07:04 PM [ Flag ]Taking childbirth class now in Midtown - really liked the first class - have the second tomorrow. Husband is a physician and I had to drag him to the class, but he actually liked it too. Have only had once class so hard to make a recommendation just yet - friend took the whole class and liked it, and my doctor also recommended this class. GL
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 07:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Who is your teacher?
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 07:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry--and is it the regular or epidural one?
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 07:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Its the regular one - but there are a range of people in the class - from a home birth couple to some natural births to those who want epidurals. sorry i cant remember teachers name - will be able to tell you tomorrow night! she is a doula though - with a hyphenated name. although that probably doesnt help much.
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 07:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I took the reg childbirth class at realbirth-- out of twenty people I was the ONLY one who said she was planning on an epidural. Wish I had taken the childbirth with epidural class, or even just read a book, seriously. The labor nurse told me everything I needed to know.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, I do think the act of preparing, and including dh in that preparation, is important, but I personally did not get much else out of my Realbirth classes. It's a tough call.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 09:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Any thoughts on whether or not a doula is necessary? I am hoping to give birth natura... 63 replies
- experiences might happen if the doula has one idea about childbirth (agenda) and then gives direct or indirect pressure to the...
- Natural birth at SLR with midwife, no doula. If I had...sure it's someone you really click with. With natural childbirth, it's good to have a lot of...was just such an intense high. I always thought natural birth advocates were loonies, but I think un-intervention-ized births,...
Talk : : July 07, 2008
Any thoughts on whether or not a doula is necessary? I am hoping to give birth naturally at SLR birthing center, and not sure if I should get a doula. Anyone who can share their experiences with natural birth with or without doula - would greatly appreciate it!
63 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.07.08, 06:36 PM [ Flag ]I carefully planned all of this out and had emergency c-s, hopefully yours works out!
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 06:38 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I didn't make it even with a doula, but really think a doula can help attain a natural birth - especially if you have an OB instead of a midwife. I have heard great things about SLR for natural deliveries. GL!
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm delivering there too in August, but not in the Birthing Center, the part with the Drugs.
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Love it - Drugs with a Capital D. After all my planning, I ended up with the Drugs - back labor was way too hard for me, even with the birthing ball and the amazing back rub thing my doula did.
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 06:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Damn Straight, my OB/GYN asked early on what my plan was, it never entered my mind to try birthing without an Epidural. In my twenties, I thought that sounded great to doit that way, at 39, forget it, it sounds horrible but I want drugs and lots of them!
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 07:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I did it at 41 and 44. So it's possible!
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 05:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Keep in mind any chemical intervention you take increases risk of harm to the baby. that's all
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 09:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I never found any real evidence to support that in the case of the epidural.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 04:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: i think that most of the studies look at agpar scores and come to the conclusion of no risk. however, there is increasing anecdotal evidence that with epidurals, newborns are sleepier for up to several days after birth as well as have more feeding issues (esp. w BF). While I still chose to get an epi, I think it's good to recognize these issues and be aware of them.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I had a csection and my dd started nursing a few hours later- no issues... to each their own.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ditto.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 04:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i think an epi for planned c-section (limited duration) versus epi for the extended time of labor is different too. i'm not saying it WILL happen, I'm saying that there is a growing body of evidence that in comparison with NO epi, more newborns have this issue. Like I said, I still opted for epi, but it's not right to say there is NO risk to the baby. Risk doesn't mean something WILL happen, it just means an increased chance that something MIGHT happen.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 11:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Very little risk for the baby. As I said below, almost all risk is for the mother.
[ Reply | Options ]12.26.08, 12:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
There is no hard evidence to suggest epidurals harm the baby in any way, and there's been a lot of research. The main side-effects can be back problems for the mother, but they are fairly rare.
[ Reply | Options ]12.26.08, 12:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I couldn't have done it without my doula
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 06:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I did no planning and had two natural births
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 06:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I would recommend it, and studies show that women who use a doula are significantly less likely to end up with c/s or epidural use and that when epidurals are used, they're used later in labor. Also, women who use doulas are much more likely to feel happy and satisfied with their births.
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 06:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I used one. Wouldn't say "necessary", but mine was a great cheerleader and advocate - helped push me through as best she could, and didn't take a break during my 30 hours of labor (that wound up in a c-section in the end - baby wouldn't fit through and was bruising after 2 hours of pushing at the end). I'd recommend using one still - even if just for the extra support.
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 07:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]30 hours!!!! Holy Shit, You're scaring me. Did the offer a C-Section before the 30 hour mark? You do deserve a medal!
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 07:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh yeah... my 1st was 30 hours too. My doula was a godsend. There was no way DH could have not fallen asleep at some point and I really needed someone to be with me the whole time.
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 07:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]He would have fallen asleep while you were in labor and pain? Not a good dude, seriously.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
They kept talking about it - I knew it could happen but was really afraid of one. I \
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 08:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ (sorry) - My doula was there all the way though, and even though my birth was almost everything opposite of what I had wanted, she was a great help and advocate for me (and my DH too) esp. with us knowing nothing really about some of the process.
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 08:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I used one and highly recommend it. There are very specific things that help during labor and a trained person knows what they are. GL
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 07:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I ended up getting an epidural (i was not passionately committed to a natural birth) but I found my doula to be really wonderful. I had some complications and she was enormously helpful in getting me through them.
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 07:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Necessary? Not at all. DH and I hired one for our childs birth at Columbia and it was a very positive experience. I know some have not had such positive experiences too.
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 09:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I used a doula, I was induced at 42 weeks and my contractions were 2 minutes on two minutes off for 12 hours, no painkillers, before I scored a csection. I alternated Lamaze, Bradley and my own coping skills (I told jokes between contractions every now and then). It was the most empowering thing I ever did. It was simply my own experience. I put her in charge of not letting me know how may hours had passed and she dis so successfully, among other things.
[ Reply | Options ]07.07.08, 09:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Using a doula for me was never a question. A doula's sole purpose is you, the big fat pregnant one who may not be thinking clearly. I had several discussions with our doula about what we wanted ideally but also what would feel okay for me. We were both clear that I wanted to try to go natural as long as possible but wanted the option for meds if I felt I needed them. My doula was completely on board. In delivery, she served as my comfort, my coach, and my advocate. I felt completely comfortable that she would support me in whatever decision I made. As it happens, a woman who screams intensely from a from a stubbed toe made it through without meds. I feel at the end we had a birth that we felt good about but not because I did it naturally, but because I was able to have as much choice and comfort as possible. I think bad experiences might happen if the doula has one idea about childbirth (agenda) and then gives direct or indirect pressure to the mom. If it's a new mom, you may make a great birth plan with no meds, numerous comfort strategies, and then realize very quickly- you can't have that kind of birth. The doula needs to be able to roll with that. This is my first post because I had such a great experience with out doula.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 01:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: you are me! i also scream from a stubbed toe - my dh is skeptical of me making it to the end for that reason! thanks so much for all the replies. im going to speak to some doulas and see how i feel. i have an ob btw, not a midwife, which is why im considering a doula.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 05:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Isn't that what a DH is for? In all my three births DH Was the best person to be with me.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]there was a possibility my husband woud be with our older kid so i hired a doula. also, frankly, he doesn't handle me in pain very well.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
definitely get a doula if you are considering no meds a desirable option! definitely.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 03:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Natural birth at SLR with midwife, no doula. If I had an OB, which I wouldn't, I'd have a doula.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 04:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I had 2 drug-free births, both with OBs (NYU and SLR), without doulas. Took a Bradley class for #1 (although only made it through half the class before dd arrived) and a refresher class at RealBirth for #2. It's certainly possible to do this w/o a doula (if you and your DH/partner are well prepared), but I also think having a doula can be a wonderful support. Either way, SLR is very supportive generally of drug-free births. Had planned #2 for BC, but she came too fast!
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 05:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I gave birth twice at SLR without using drugs but I had to advocate for myself the first time quite a bit. (This was five years ago when natural birth was still a bit new on the L&D floor.) Then they sent a nurse from the Birthing Center to help out and she was great. The second time the nurse was on board from the beginning. I've done it twice. Just when you think you can't handle it anymore, it's time to give birth! Good luck! If you stick with it, you can do it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 05:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't want to start a big flameout here, but you might try asking yourself WHY you want a natural birth. Everyone has their reasons, and I will say right at the outset that I planned to have an epidural all along. However I can tell you from experience that I felt PLENTY during the birth, did not feel like I missed a moment of the experience, and my baby was awake and alert from the first moment. I looked into this pretty carefully and i never found any science supporting the idea that epidurals hurt the baby. All I missed out on was hours of grinding pain--I was in labor for about 24 hours. No matter how you give birth--epidural, no meds, c-section, it is the experience of a life-time. Natural is not the "only" or "real" way, and don't let anyone tell you that. You wouldn't have knee surgery without medication, would you? Not trying to force any opinion on you, just offering some thoughts.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: It always surprises me when people like you somehow think that other women's choices are not as valid as their own.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]no, no, I am trying to say that every choice is valid--I just felt that when I was pg the "natural birth" people were trying to make me feel like any other way is a cop-out and also gave me a lot of mis-information about epidurals that I was trying to clear up. I guess in a way though you are right, I just don't understand why someone would willingly sign up for so much pain when it is totally unnecessary, what are you trying to prove? I have also heard so many stories about people who went for natural, and then ended up getting an epidural or c-section anyway, which seems like the worst of both worlds. Only my opinion though.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What does it matter to you what women choose? I "willingly" signed up for so much pain because birth is a natural process, not a medical one. I didn't see the need to have drugs if I could do it without. If I had needed medical intervention, I would have had it but I didn't. I don't like anesthesia in general but I don't begrudge anyone having it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 01:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: Some of us don't react well to the drugs. I am one of those people, so just avoid if I at all can. Last thing I wanted was another adverse reaction to drugs while deliving my child. Epidural is not for everyone.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 05:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]nnp: I was you after my first birth (doula, epi), but my second was natural (got to hospital 20 mins before birth) and was such an insanely exhilarating experience that I am still exhilarated from it 7 mos later -- it was just such an intense high. I always thought natural birth advocates were loonies, but I think un-intervention-ized births, when they go well, can hit a high note I didn't know was there, and I am grateful I got to experience it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 05:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's great to hear. I couldn't agree more. I still have a high thinking about both births. And the best thing was that I could get up and walk after it!
[ Reply | Options ]07.13.08, 09:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: i had an epidural with my first birth adn did not want one for #2. For me, the epidural was unpleasant and distancing. I understand that is not everyone's experience. but if i had a 3d i'd try for natural again.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 11:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ditto!
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 05:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
it is a fact that the more intervention, the more likely a c-section is (and I got an epi with #1, only didn't with #2 because I couldn't)
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 01:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]not convinced
[ Reply | Options ]07.22.08, 08:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Me too. Six hours, with epidural, it rocked. Why have the pain if you don't have to? I opted for drugs when I got my wisdom teeth out, too.
[ Reply | Options ]12.26.08, 12:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I had an unmedicated birth at the SLR birthing center with a midwife and no doula. A doula wasn't necessary for us because the L&D nurse essentially served as one; she was with me and DH 95% of my labor there, and suggested positions, rubbed my back, encouraged me to drink water. That said, I encourage having a doula there because a laboring woman can use all the help she can get! Seriously, it's nice to have as much support as possible--we didn't hire a doula only because we couldn't afford one. Good luck! The birthing center is a really wonderful place to have a baby--everyone was so kind and it was great for the 3 of us to spend the night together afterwards. I had a long and difficult back labor that would have been impossible to do unmedicated in another setting. Enjoy your baby!
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you are delivering with an OB, not a midwife, then yes, get a doula. it will help with laboring at home, before you are admitted. I did.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 11:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I had a natural birth in the SLR birthing center. Besides my MW, my DH was a big help and I didn't want any other help. I u/s that some people feel that you need all the help and support you can get, but I really didn't even need the nurse who was assigned to my room and she was pretty happy to sit on the sidelines since she 30something weeks pg and tired out. So, having a doula or not depends on whether you need the extra support or not and also I think whether you have a MW or OB.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 04:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I gave birth at SLR, I wish I had a doula at the time, to talk some sense into my crazy midwife. The birthing center was full and I had to travel back and forth to a hotel room to her office to be checked while waiting for a room for hours while in intense severe labor (labored in cabs, in street etc.). If you want the birthing center be aware the rooms may not be available. My midwife was insane and did not put me up in the regular floor until 30 hours of natural labor went by (without drugs) with no progress at all. I strongly believe a doula would have slapped her silly and told me that I needed help (after 20 more hours with drugs after the first 30 hours of natural labor I FINALLY got a c-section). My midwife should be in prison.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 11:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]omg - that is cruel. sorry you went through that!
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 05:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
If your doula comes to labor at home, then yes absolutely. If they only meet you at birth ctr..i'm mixed. A doula can be wonderful if you are open to it. I loved mine. I am delivering at a ctr though now that has midwives and the doula in our area wasn;t going to come to our home for early delivery (we were a bit far for her) and so i am going without this time.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 01:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]YES - i gave birth at SLR (regular L&D) and wanted a non-medicated delivery. The OB on call was not so supportive. A doula would have been very helpful as my dh -- wonderful as he was -- was not really equipped to be my advocate with the nursing and medical staff. However if you're in the birthing center the midwife & nurses might be enough. Also I recommend watching "The Business of Being Born."
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 09:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I had a natural vbac and couldn't have done it without my doula. The key was to stay home as long as I could, and she made that possible by being there with me every minute of it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 03:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I've had two at SLR birthing center. With #1, I'd say the doula was absolutely worth it. Very long labor and delivery, and it was great to have someone around to spell dh. With #2, it was still nice -- got to love the foot massages -- but I could probably have done without. Now pg with number 3 and debating whether or not to get one. If this is your first, I say get one but make sure it's someone you really click with. With natural childbirth, it's good to have a lot of support (and the labor nurses at the birthing center were wonderful both times I was there). As long as other issues don't arise, I think it's makes it more likely you will actually deliver without meds. Good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 03:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]doula: a thousand times YES.
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 01:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Loved our doula - she was with me for 24 hours of labor - natural birth - helped us navigate the hospital, helped my dh with how to help me, had great pain management techniques. I had not realized, prior, how in the hospital, you don't really see your OB until the pushing stage and that there are a steady stream of nurses. Doula never left, never slept. Let my dh get food, sleep. Highly recommend it!
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 08:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
It might help but it's not necessary. I did it without one and (granted I had a really short labor) it was fine. Looking back I was concentrating so hard on blocking out the pain that I don't think I would have even been able to deal with another person in there.
[ Reply | Options ]07.13.08, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]All this talk about natural birth is making me want to have a third!!
[ Reply | Options ]07.13.08, 09:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I gave birth twice at NYU, with OB, natural births with no doula. Whether you are able to stick with the natural birth plan depends on how the particular labor goes (i.e., how long, and if there are complications) and your stamina and pain threshold. DH was great, labor nurses were great - don't see that a doula is a necessary part of the events.
[ Reply | Options ]07.14.08, 12:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have a question that I have been wondering about since my ds's birth. I went to classes at Real Birth and planned to stay home as long as possible. But my contractions started at midnight and by 1:00 they were less than three minutes apart and unbearable so I went to hospital. Is this just what happens or is it usually a slower progression like they taught in the class? BTW I ended up with c-section, b/c of the size and shape of my pelvis ds could not get into birth canal.
[ Reply | Options ]07.14.08, 01:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I would not have been able to give birth without my doula. She was a tremendous support and presence. Your midwife will also be busy guiding the birth. The doula's job is completely different. She's there to help you during all the contractions. She will literally hold you up. Doulas have experience and have a plethora of knowledge and support to share with you during the birth. You will NOT regret it! I can't express enough to you how important the confidence and emotional support of a doula is during the birth, for both you and your partner. My doula also made me feel reassured in my decisions with the birth of my baby, when the hospital staff was making me doubt myself. Go for it.
[ Reply | Options ]12.26.08, 12:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] are twins births always be cesarean or some natural? 44 replies
- whoat does the legal profession leaning on these days? C-section or natural? what is considered more risky?...
- reconstructive surgery is sometimes performed if natural birth stretches the vagina so much so that it causes...people can have twins naturally! what, did you think all mothers of twins previously died in childbirth!?!?...
Talk : : July 01, 2008
are twins births always be cesarean or some natural?
44 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.01.08, 11:41 AM [ Flag ]^by^
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Had my twins vaginally in the OR. Was induced & Baby A came flying out -- dr. and nurse said it wasn't time, but they could barely get me in there. Baby B was sunny-side up so he came out 2 long hours later, all purple, but at 3.5 he is now a big, tough bruiser.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 02:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i know one person who had natural. everyone else had a c-section.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I had mine naturally, which was a big surprise to me and my doctor... we were all set and scheduled for a C, then they decided they wanted out!
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]did you have to do reconstructive surgery after that?
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Reconstructive surgery for what?
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]maybe she thinks your vagina exploded.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]that is correct to put in crude terms.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]??!!
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]reconstructive surgery is sometimes performed if natural birth stretches the vagina so much so that it causes discomfort and makes sex unpleasurable. Clear enough?
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you're nuts. Do you think that's common ? Regularly done ? Something most women do ? Enough Doctor 90210 for you. Take Dr. Ray off the speed dial.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]why so agro and reading things into the original question? no where did it state that such a thing is regularly done? that was not the point. it was a question this particular woman who had given birth to twins and how it affected her body. calm down.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm preety calm, thanks for your concern, but the woman needing a bit of calm is the person responding to a simple "I had twins" vaginally" to "did you have reconstruction ?" That's a big wacky jump, wouldn't you say ?
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 12:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]why? that could have been the original point of op's query in the first place. c-section v. natural birth with twins and the effect it has on a woman's body. this is not a highly charged issue or a "wacky jump." I don't understand why you have such a problem with the topic.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 12:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]don't tax yourself by thinking about it further then.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
not sure why you assume this would happen after twin birth... not really any more than single or breech
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You realize that it's much more likely to have problems with stretching/tearing on a first delivery than a subsequent one? So that second twin is like nothing - whatever damage might have been done would already be done.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I see. I assumed it would be putting even more pressure on the area with a second one.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 12:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]once the door is open, it's open for whoever's coming out !
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
actually, that's not more likely, it's the common mismanagement of labor these days that's the problem.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 04:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Or that both twins came out at the same time.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]not for me
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
No. I'm in the US btw. First children
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
lawsuits !!!!
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ the legal profession dictates OB care in this country !
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np. it certainly influences them imo.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]so whoat does the legal profession leaning on these days? C-section or natural? what is considered more risky?
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]C-section is quicker and easier with less chance for complication.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]less complications for the baby, you mean. maternal deaths from c-sections are vastly underreported (and apparently not much of a concern for anyone).
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 04:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]link, please?
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 04:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I know people who had natural twin births but in the UK not US.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]bingo.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: I know a bunch of people who have in the US. It really depends on the person - many people don't want to go through labor and pushing knowing there is a decent chance they will also then get a c-section. Others are okay with the idea and try anyway.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
my friend had them naturally
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]two friends had them vaginally, but delivery had to be in the OR, I guess in case emergency C was req'd. All went well.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 12:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]By natural do you mean without drug or vaginally? I had mine vaginally . They were both head down, weeks before delivery and it worked for me. Generally it depends on the position of the first whether vag. birth is an option. I delivered in an OR with an epi that way if there was a problem they could do the c-section.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 12:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know six twin moms, three had c-section and three vaginal delivery. One even sans drugs (second labor and quite fast).
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 01:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i gave birth naturally at 37.5 weeks 8 months ago to twin girls weighing 9lbs 4ozs and 7lbs 8.5ozs, my 2nd and 3rd, so yes it can be done
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 05:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Holy Crap!
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I delivered twins at NYU last year. The NYU faculty practice is pro vaginal delivery for twins. We tried our best, baby A was vaginal delivery, but baby B was C section delivery.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 05:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That sucks...to labor, push one out, then only to be sliced anyway.
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
my mom had my younger brothers (twins) not only naturally but at home. of course people can have twins naturally! what, did you think all mothers of twins previously died in childbirth!?!?
[ Reply | Options ]07.01.08, 05:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Having twins naturally is common. I had my first single birth c-section. He was breeched. I absolutely hated it. I got pregnant with twins a couple years later and had them VBAC(vaginal after c-section. it's really up to your doctor for this situation. For yours, there is no reason (healthy I assume)for your doctor to just schedule a c-section. It's more money, more painful,more traumatic , and less bonding for the new family. Just try ti have them naturally and let nature takes it;s course, if you can't you can't. No big deal.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 04:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]less bonding? please
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 04:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] What path did you take for labor and delivery of db or did you opt for anesthesia, na... 30 replies
- natural! but my first choice was vasectomy for dh haha...
- 1-epidural, 2-natural. would opt for natural over epidural, but would take epidural if i needed it....
- recovery with natural was so much faster-i actually left the hospital the next...having an epidural, as I found the pain of natural birth so distracting and upsetting that I couldn't...
Talk : : June 29, 2008
What path did you take for labor and delivery of db or did you opt for anesthesia, natural childbirth, induction, or major surgery? Would you make same choice again?
30 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.29.08, 05:52 PM [ Flag ]1 - anesthesia, 2 - natural, 3 - major surgery
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 05:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What a variety. So which one would you choose again?
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 05:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]natural! but my first choice was vasectomy for dh haha
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 06:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
#1 pitocin & demerol -never again, #2 demerol - never again #3 Epidural - it didn't take and had to be done twice but hey now I've got three beautiful dcs.
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 05:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]This sounds horrible. What is the demerol for?
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 05:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It was used to control pain but it only succeeds in making you sleepy while in enormous pain so the pain takes on an even more nightmarish quality because you can't marshall any energy to control it. This narcotic must have been dreamed up for labor by someone who had never experienced it! Oh I don't know... a guy?
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 06:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]dilaudid is MUCH better than demerol
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I don't think anyone chooses induction -- it's a medical call no? I had first induced with pitocin (a week late, was born 9 5) -- decided to wait and see about if I want epidural, and asked for it towards the end, so basically labored without, pushed with. Now expecting #2 - I will probably ask epidural even earlier (?)
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 06:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Really many people do choose to schedule inductions.
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 06:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
1> c-section 2. vbac. I wish I hadn't needed the section, but it all turned out fine.
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]For #1 I had a HORRIBLE intervention-filled crapfest of a delivery--epidural, c-section, the works. #2 I had at home. 20 hours of labor, no meds at all, and... FABULOUS!!
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wait, twenty hours and fabulous?
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 06:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was 20 hours and FABULOUS too.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 10:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, 20 hours and fabulous. Much worse would be drugging baby and you. Twenty hours, the last part was admittedly not easy, but then db came out, no drugs were inhibiting the surge of parental and breastfeeding hormones, and I was fully and completely euphoric. Nothing ever in life can match that. Except doing it again. . .
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 10:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
#1--epidural, plan to do it again if i am lucky enough to have another. I was in labor for 20 hours and pushed for 2, I don't think I would have had the strength to push that long if I had not had the rest and respite from the pain the epidural provided. I did not feel drugged and baby was alert and awake.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 10:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]1-epidural, 2-natural. would opt for natural over epidural, but would take epidural if i needed it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 10:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I would be so interested to hear how you would compare epidural and natural--I had an epidural for my first but am curious about natural now that i have heard everyone rave about it--and you rarely meet someone who has done both. Just how much more intense is the pain, and how was your experience different.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 11:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]recovery with natural was so much faster-i actually left the hospital the next day and felt 100%. it was a much faster labor so even though the pain was just as intense, i could bear it for 2 hours (rather than 20). worth striving for, but don't beat yourself up if you opt for epidural.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 11:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I also did 1 with epidural and 2 with nothing (no time); I far preferred having an epidural, as I found the pain of natural birth so distracting and upsetting that I couldn't concentrate on the experience of birth; the recovery on #2 was also easier for me, but I think it was because second births are so much faster, not because I did it without pain medicine
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 11:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I did natural water births for both and it was absolutely the right thing for me. I was lucky though to be able to. Everything was pretty textbook and I had very short labors, I loved that I was in the water, not on my back and with lots of support.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 10:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]opted for natural but gave up half way and asked for epi, after 3 hrs of pushing drs. determined baby wasn't coming down and had surgery
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't have a choice - can only do Epidural as am allergic to all pain meds...
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 10:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Chose non-medicated births 2x. If I had to do it again, would choose epidural, but that would probably not even be an option b/c my labor goes too quickly.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 11:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Had some anesthesia but tried to go as long as I could without an epidural. DB wasn't descending, dilation going nowhere and the Dr suggested pitocin. At that point contractions so bad that I requested the epidural.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 11:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ After epidural in place and I was feeling good, Dr came in and said I had to have a C section since DB showing signs of distress and there might be complications. I asked what complications, she said cerebral palsy, I said go ahead. Never ever thought that I would have a C section!
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 11:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I hope your db was fine!
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, thanks! Quite big too - almost 8 lbs and I'm a small person so in a way I'm glad she didn't come out the traditional way. I was very worried about getting an episiotomy.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Water broke, induced with pitocin, epidural. I found getting the epidural painful, but would definitely do again.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 11:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]#1-asked for an epidural but the nurses stalled so I went natural and it was great.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^#2-opted fot natural but this time it was back labor and much more painful, but I'm still going natural with #3 unless it's a c-section.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 12:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] 32 weeks pregnant here and getting really uncomfortable, not to mention I feel totall... 18 replies
- don't let her scare you - I got MUCH more sleep when the baby came than before. Trust your natural parenting instincts will kick in, read What to Expect, take a Prep for Childbirth class (the one that tells you about all the options, not just natural), and talk to other moms - you will be fine!...
Talk : : June 23, 2008
32 weeks pregnant here and getting really uncomfortable, not to mention I feel totally unprepared. I dread going to work mostly because I hate waking in the am and getting dressed is a nightmare, any words or wisdom of how to get by the next 8 weeks?
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.23.08, 06:33 PM [ Flag ]Eye on the prize.
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]work from home. this saved me. also, sleep in a recliner and go in the pool as foten as you possibly can.
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You are not going to like this. Enjoy this time. Seriously. For the next few years showering will become optional (some days teeth brushing will be an achievement) and waking in the am (as opposed to 3x during the pm) will be a delight.
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]don't let her scare you - I got MUCH more sleep when the baby came than before. Trust your natural parenting instincts will kick in, read What to Expect, take a Prep for Childbirth class (the one that tells you about all the options, not just natural), and talk to other moms - you will be fine!
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^swimming is great, and Julia dresses from Calypso over pants are wonderful when you feel ugly (there are a bunch on ebay now for cheap)
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I feel so ugly, someone gave me a wonderful compliment today and I almost cried because i thought it was so nice of them.
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you probably look better than you think
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I remember going out to dinner with my DH for the first time when db was 3 mos old. My breasts were leaking, hair unwashed, belly flabby and awful clothes since nothing fit...sorry, I looked great fat 'n pregnant in comparison.
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: i can see how that can be, but still very anxious to get the baby out, it's a tough road back, huh?
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
30 lbs is a tough nut to swallow, but i guess i still have a few more to go...got to keep my eyes on the prize, my little boy will be here soon.
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Much more sleep with a newborn? Huh?
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yeah, I read that and almost choked on my crappy on the fly dinner that I made since I got no sleep and couldn't get to the grocery store
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I got up every hour on the hour - at least with dd I got a two hour stretch, and me and DH traded out so we could get 4-5 hours each
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I slept better once db was born. After 35 weeks, I was up every hour to pee. After db was born, dh and I traded feedings so I got to sleep for a few hours a time,
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 07:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
OP: funny, bet you are right!nothing is enjoyable now, I've even lost my pleasure in food!
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITTA. I remember feeling like this and wish someone had given me this advice. I have 3 kids and wouldn't mind at all 'trading places' for a day to be 39 weeks pregnant with #1. I thought waking in the middle of the night to pee was disruptive to my sleep....that is nothing compared to having to clean up dc's vomit at 2 am
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I TOTALLY agree with this. When I look back I just laugh at how spoiled and indulged I was...
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 06:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I had the same problems last year. just get through it any way you can. I wore pretty much the same thing every day: tank top, skirt, cardigan and flip flops (in a conservative office). watch a good birthing dvd (we got one from amazon that was not scary: maybe the "live love laugh" series?). pregnancy was hard for me, but motherhood is very, very different (also hard, but awesome). you'll get through it fine.
[ Reply | Options ]06.23.08, 07:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] My Due Date is today and I'm suddenly really scared of the pain. I don't understand w... 13 replies
- and confused why it has to be so dangerous???! If mother nature intended us to reproduce, why did women have to (and still do)...
- Mother nature intended for us to reproduce when we were very young, to...'m sure they had friends and family members who didn't survive childbirth, but they did and you are a living legacy of these strong women. Fear is natural and necessary at times, but don't drive yourself crazy..I'm...
Talk : : June 22, 2008
My Due Date is today and I'm suddenly really scared of the pain. I don't understand why nature "designed" our bodies to go through this - and why thousands of women die from childbirth all over the world. Is getting irritated & PO'ed a sign of labor??
13 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.22.08, 04:27 PM [ Flag ]it's a sign of being 40 weeks pg
[ Reply | Options ]06.22.08, 04:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm just so f'ing tired of the waiting -- and what is worse is that for the past two weeks everyone told me I would go early. My OB thought it would be 10 days ago. I've been in this waiting game for so long and I'm tired of it.
[ Reply | Options ]06.22.08, 04:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The pain can be managed. Don't be afraid to ask for pain meds or an epidural if you want/need them. But if you don't ask, don't expect anyone to run them over to you!
[ Reply | Options ]06.22.08, 04:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]oh, I'm planning on it! don't worry :-) I'm just irritated and confused why it has to be so dangerous???! If mother nature intended us to reproduce, why did women have to (and still do) die from it?
[ Reply | Options ]06.22.08, 04:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Mother nature intended for us to reproduce when we were very young, to have many children (several of whom would die before reaching reproductive age), and to die off young. Given the harsh view she had, a few fistulas and hemorages are not surprising.
[ Reply | Options ]06.22.08, 04:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ok, that makes sense.
[ Reply | Options ]06.22.08, 04:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
your not going to die and you won't remember the pain. your just scared because your don't know what going to happen and you can't really prepare for it. it's scary it's painful and it's the best thing you'll ever do.
[ Reply | Options ]06.22.08, 04:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You'd be odd if you weren't scared. Without meds, it really hurts. You're not going to die, though.
[ Reply | Options ]06.22.08, 04:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was planning on having an epidural all along and now I'm freaked out that the docs will mess it up and I will have back pain for the rest of my life because of it. I just don't see a way out of this pregnancy without a huge amount of suffering AND I have been waiting for her for two weeks already. I just want to cry.
[ Reply | Options ]06.22.08, 04:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Big hug. Do you know of anyone who has had lingering back pain b/c of an epidural? I don't. The vast majority of births with epidurals turn out fine, just as do the vast majority w/o. Of course you're freaked--you're about to do something monumental. It's scary when they actually give you the epidural, but then it's really amazing. I had a C and didn't feel a thing until much later. Deep breath...you'll be fine. Do you have a happy place you can go to? Mine involved Ben & Jerry's.
[ Reply | Options ]06.22.08, 04:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks :) I have some freeze pops in the freezer but they are not frozen yet. Blah. I wish the OB never told me she would be early - I have been on pins and needles for the last two weeks.
[ Reply | Options ]06.22.08, 04:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]They don't really know...they're going on an average to begin with, plus predicting based on your particulars. Hang in there--they won't let her stay in there forever. Childbirth is pretty safe in this country. When you see her, the fear et. al won't be the primary memory.
[ Reply | Options ]06.22.08, 04:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I just want to assure you that everyone has their own experience, and each birth is different in its own way. If we all went around telling each other great things about birth, and the TV shows would show empowered women giving birth without screaming their heads off, the current perception of birth would be different. Life is dangerous in it's own special way. But we still go out side...I know this may sound totally corny, but here it goes. You are a strong woman, you have made it this far in life and still breathing. Think of your ancestors who didn't have access to a DR or any medical intervention, I'm sure they had friends and family members who didn't survive childbirth, but they did and you are a living legacy of these strong women. Fear is natural and necessary at times, but don't drive yourself crazy..I'm rooting for you!!!
[ Reply | Options ]07.18.08, 04:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Does anyone else think it is really f**ked up that NYC has a 40% c-section rate??? I ... 78 replies
- that's not about stillborn. bigger issue in most of africa is women who die in childbirth, not babies....
- up insurance costs for everyone else. Women go along bc they are brainwashed that birth is dangerous and they are scared of pain. Natural childbirth is a beautiful miracle that can't be fully comprehended until experienced. and doctors don't care about that aspect. ps - labored...
Talk : : June 17, 2008
Does anyone else think it is really f**ked up that NYC has a 40% c-section rate??? I find this really shocking and I think it's awful that as a pg woman in NY you face such a huge likelihood of having an unnecessary cesarean.
78 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.17.08, 10:39 AM [ Flagged ]What I find interesting is that the lowest C section rate is at Bellevue Hospital --- You know, where all the poor people go to give birth? So basically if you're on Medicaid or have no insurance, they're going to let you labor, and labor, and labor, and they will avoid giving you a C section for as long as possible, even if you really want one.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:41 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np: Partially true. Also true is that no one with a high risk pregnancy goes to Bellvue.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:43 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I think your idea of what happens is not reality. The old St. Vincent's Staten Island (now RUMC) has a very c-sxn rate and a very high population of Medicaid patients (approx. 10% of patients have insurance).
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:43 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I gave birth at St Vincent's as many of my friends did- Some of the most popular Drs are afflitated w/ that hospital- Schrippa, Herzog, MartinGano, You also have Dr Morretti, etc
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:05 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]and believe me we all have insurance.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:05 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I gave birth at St. Vincent's SI, my mom was a maternity ward nurse there for 10 years. The hospital went bankrupt b/c so few people paid bills. It's a shame what happened to that hospital. It had a hard time being sold b/c it was a charity hospital. Why do you think it's RUMC now? If St. V's patients paid their bills it will still be St. V's.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:14 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I understand that but I think the people having the c-sections were coming from the Drs I mentioned not the ones that go to the clinic there
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:21 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
NY Downtown has the lowest c/s rate, not Bellevue. And it also has a lot to do with the providers there having the philosophy that birth is a normal process and not a calamity waiting to happen.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:46 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np above: Love my OB, he's head of NY Downtown OB/GYN now. And he was so much more calm than my old OB at Cornell. Same high-risk circumstances, but without the constant anxiety and over-medicating, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:48 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
also moms giving birth there are much much younger than in other hospitals. i think it's really apples and oranges here
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:59 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Younger and maybe more likely to have had many DCs? Not sure what that would mean for the C rate though.
[ Reply | Options ]11.22.08, 10:42 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
they are unlikley to sue
[ Reply | Options ]11.22.08, 11:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Some people would prefer a c
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:41 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]yeah. Morons.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:44 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np: come on..some V-Bac's are dangerous and ppl don't want to tempt fate
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:57 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]this is just so sad and ignorant. They have really done a number on you, haven't they? you don't even know the stats.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:00 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]ITA. I've had 2 without my uterus expolding. stop the fearmongering.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:01 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]my dad's cousin has a child with permanent disabilities that are severe becaues she vbac'd at home. I would never risk it. She lives with the guilt every day.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 12:39 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]omg, STOP. STOP STOP STOP. This is so blatant and such bullshit. And btw--home is hands down the best place to vbac.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 04:13 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Not a moron and my C was practically a vacation. I had twins, one of which was breech, but frankly I was glad to be told that was the only option for me. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. No need to prove my macha. Then again, 40% is too high.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 07:48 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I had to have a c my uterus will explode and I will have problems carrying future baby. I have a ton of scar tissue.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:48 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]your uterus will explode?
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:50 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np: I know you think she's exaggerating. But it's crazy the thing that can happen. I had a hematoma after my first delivery that ended up exploding my pelvic floor. Literally not enough muscle left in some areas for them to stitch it back together. They had to left it grow back together and then try to fix it again with later surgeries.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:53 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]For lack of a better term. I was at 1cm for 36 hours of laboring. They did some sort of test to check my utereus and my dr told me that if we kept on letting me labor my uturus could potentially "break" and i could have issues holding future pregnancy to term.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:54 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]your uterus can rupture...yes
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:57 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]^^rupture that is the work i was looking for. Gosh it has been a long day, my brian is toast.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:58 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
They aren't all unnecessary.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:43 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]So you think it's great that the rate is 25% higher than the WHO recommends for any industrialized nation?
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:43 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Nope, I think it is crappy. But you are acting like they are all unnecessary.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:44 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]No, she is not. She is just saying that it is absurd that the rate is 40%.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 04:40 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
When people are quick to sue when things go wrong it is in the interests of the Drs not to take chances therefore more cs
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:45 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]that's not evidence-based medicine. So while it might be understandable in terms of the doctors' malpractice insurance premiums, it's not ethical.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:46 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]but it's reality.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:48 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]if you had to pay the malpractice insurance for an OB - higher than ANY other specialty - you'd think about letting women labor when there could be possible complications too... When something tragic or unfortunate happens in labor - and they happen - people look to blame... who's there ? The OB
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:57 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
My gynecologist (specialist in urogynecology) has done work in Africa - very little access to C-sections or inductions and the stillbirth rate hovers around 75 to 80 %. Delve into the research and statistics more (for these NY stats you mention) before you get outraged. Are these primarily second or third children? We shouldn't or can't be judgmental without knowing more.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:48 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]75 to 80% of births are stillborn?
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:58 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]where the hell is that ?
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:02 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]In Africa and not sure if particular country. She told me this last week.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:04 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]never have heard anything like that...
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:05 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]^^ must be somewhere with serious female circumcision where the women can't really "deliver" a child
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:05 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
np: But that has probably more to do with no prenatal care than with c-sections.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:05 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Well, she was using it within that context. I can ask her to clarify. If poor prenatal care, then certainly they are high risk, therefore a C might really be warranted. She is experienced in her field.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:09 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I'm sure she is. I was just pointing out that, just like with our c-section rate here in NYC, a single statistic in a bubble doesn't tell a whole picture. Lots of things in play.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:10 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
shocking
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:09 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
that's bullshit -- totally not true. 50 percent of kids die before 5th birthday, but that's not about stillborn. bigger issue in most of africa is women who die in childbirth, not babies.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 04:33 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
there is absolutely no way that is true.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 07:44 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I think in NYC average age of pg women is higer, therefore higher risk. My ds is too big, my doctor let me push him out for 2 hours after 3 days of contractions but ds did not drop one degree. If c-section was not available to me I don't know what would've happened.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 10:51 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]no, you have to consider olde population and multiples. No stat stands alone
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:01 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]so true
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:05 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I have to say as an OB I always find it VERY entertaining to see what is said on this board. Many people answer with such certainty and nothing to back it up. The C/S rate in NY is high. No question. Reasons include MUCH higher risk population (hypertension, diabetes, no prenantal care, drug use, etc etc), a high rate of patient requested C/S (believe itor not), and yes sadly there are some MD's who are quicker to C/S than others for lots of reasons. BUT haveing worked at 4 different city hospitals I will say that for the most part MD's prefer their patients to deliver vaginally as long as it is the safest route for both mother and child.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:02 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Everyone would prefer a quick vaginal birth but C sections are much much more likely in this culture because doctors are worried about being sued. It sets up an environment where doctors induce early on, won't let a birth progress at the speed it needs to, encourage medical intervention, etc etc. Many many C-sections are simply the result of labor going on too long for everyone's liking .
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 12:19 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]thank goodness I had a midwife for both my births!
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 12:20 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]i think the more accurate statement should be "Thank God I had two normal births and was able to do it safely with a midwife. Thank God I didn't require the training and expertise of an MD and all that they can do to save the lives of babies and mothers."
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 04:16 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
the answer is malpractice... dad is an OB prof and is trained and comfortable delivering breech, for example. He is not really permitted to do it. It is a matter of malpractice...
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:03 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]and a matter of outcome..ask him..there was an small increase in the risk of CP in vagnal delivered breech in a big study...so now it is the official reccomendation of ACOG to offer C/S for breech.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:05 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I'm sure you are correct, but I would alo assume that there are "degress" with this as with anything. How is the breech presenting and all that... Ijust wanted to add that a lot of this is created by us... my father would rather not give a C-section to a woman who would rather not have one. In some instances his hands are tied by the system that has developed here...
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:07 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]this is true. sadly the legal system (and its abuse) has greatly shaped how ALL medicine is practices
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:09 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]it is truly unfortunate... and the medicine surrounding women's bodies and OUR choices are the ones most compromised
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:11 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Totally agree. I had c-section with first b/c he was a footling breech. With 2nd, I also had c-section b/c doc said I would have to sign a VBAC waiver...And, also said c-section (vs. VBAC) was safest for the baby--implying that I would be selfish if i pursued the VBAC.
[ Reply | Options ]06.18.08, 09:16 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
As much as I like his politics, John Edwards shares a small part of the blame for this.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 11:09 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]yes he does.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 04:14 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]yes....an ambulance chaser.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 04:38 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
why would that be f'd -- the national average is like 25% and women in ny are a littler older on average
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 12:37 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I did it on purpose. I have herpes, that was my excuse, but I was totally psyched to have a C and I'm glad I did. So there!
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 04:14 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Why would you make that choice? I'm just trying to understand your thinking here....
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 04:39 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Ummmmm... to keep DB from contcating herpes, maybe ?!
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 04:40 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
sometimes they are planned by women who don't want to bother w/ pushing
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 04:38 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]pushing is the problem??
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 07:47 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
c's make more $$ for docs and hosps and are convenient for docs - can't miss that golf game. So what if it helps to drive up insurance costs for everyone else. Women go along bc they are brainwashed that birth is dangerous and they are scared of pain. Natural childbirth is a beautiful miracle that can't be fully comprehended until experienced. and doctors don't care about that aspect. ps - labored more more hours than you'd believe and worth every minute.
[ Reply | Options ]06.18.08, 08:54 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Average maternal age is a lot higher as is number of high-risk pregnancies. I also think there are a lot more multiples.
[ Reply | Options ]06.18.08, 01:26 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np: that's my understanding as well.
[ Reply | Options ]06.18.08, 01:40 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
There is NO way that a 40% C-section rate is completely medically indicated, high-risk population and all. Think about it - it can't be that close to half of NYC women can't birth vaginally. In 1970, the C-section rate in the U.S. was 5%. In early 1980s - 15%. Now the national average is about 1/3. Is it suddenly that our population needs more C-sections? No. It's a combo of malpractice insurance (what we need is more women suing for unwarranted Cs), and this widespread philosophy that birth must be "managed" (routine interventions such as continuous fetal monitoring have contributed greatly to the increased C/S rate, but did not decrease infant mortality or cerebral palsy rates!). Only about 10% of this country's births are attended by midwives, who are the real experts on normal birth (physicians are trained to deal with complicated pregnancies and to do surgeries). If you look at countries where midwives are the primary obstetric care providers, the C/S rates are much lower (and their maternal/infant mortality rates are better than ours). Also, if you look at the stats, repeat C/S only account for about 1/3 of the nation's total C/S rate. Maternal request and higher risk women account for a minimal part of our nation's 30% C/S rate. Inductions, arbitrary limits on labor, immobilized labor, flat-on-the-back pushing, restricted VBACs, and getting home at a decent hour have all contributed to our city's high C/S rate (did you know that most C/S happen at around 4pm, before close of the business day, and 11pm, when midnight is just around the corner?).
[ Reply | Options ]08.02.08, 09:13 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]But women who get c/s believe that in there case it was really warranted, but c/s should happen less often. They are not ready to admit that maybe their doctor pushed a c/s on them when they didn't need it.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.08, 07:23 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
I was thrilled with my c section experience (after many, many hours of pushing; they let me go longer than they normally would) and will have one for the next kids. I was in a high risk practice and they did everything they could to avoid it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 06:40 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]High rates of c-section in NYC due to higher percentage of educated, intelligent women who are well-informed of the hazards of vaginal delivery. These are women who spend a good deal of money and time on self-maintenence - why would they let their lady parts and pooper go to pot by pushing a baby out their vaginas when the whole mess can easily be avoided with a scheduled c section?
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.08, 07:16 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]because bad things can happen with c-sections too.
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.08, 07:24 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]much less often than with vaginal deliveries. Sure, you may battle infection, popped stitches, longer hospital stay with a Caesar...but any sane woman would take those over a loose vagina, inability to keep a tampon in place, incontinence, and stretched out labia.
[ Reply | Options ]11.21.08, 08:36 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I don't have any of those problems from my vaginal birth.
[ Reply | Options ]11.22.08, 10:46 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
[+] can anyone suggest a book on natural childbirth that is not hippy dippy and doesn't t... 22 replies
- from ina's books were the testimonials from women who delivered naturally and their experiences and howthey coped and to think of pain...is a ridiculous conversation. i've had medicated and unmedicated childbirths and i truly believe that fear made the pain worse...., exactly, are you arguing against here? reading books about childbirth? thinking that it's valuable to learn about others' experiences? natural childbirth in general?...
Talk : : June 16, 2008
can anyone suggest a book on natural childbirth that is not hippy dippy and doesn't try to convince me that i only feel pain during childbirth if i choose to interpret it as pain? i tried dr. sears' book and it just pissed me off. i'm considering natural childbirth as a matter of practicality and just want tips on how to get through it as peacefully as possible. i'm not interested in hearing about the horrors of the hospital the way "birthing from within" describes it.
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.16.08, 12:55 PM [ Flag ]Out of curiousity, why wd it be a matter of practicality?
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 12:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]epidural never kicked in last time. i suspect that it was misplaced b/c i NEVER went numb but nurses said my labor was so quick that it didn't have time to "catch up." i just want to have some coping skills in case this happens again. i was so completely terrified and i think that made the whole thing worse.
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 12:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I hear ya.
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 12:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: I had this experience last time (except that there just wasn't time for the epi, not that it didn't work) and my nurse had no suggestions about breathing or anything else. On top of the pain I was shaking violently, which I didn't even know was a possibility - my OB recommended just taking the basic hospital run birthing class this time around. I'm going to try it.
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 01:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: have you ever taken a birthing class? i took a general one 8 yrs ago and i don't think that would do it for me again. i wish i had the nerve to take a natural childbirth class. i think i may need to suck it up and just do it. i just need to get over myself i remember that taking the class does not mean i'm required to go natural.
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 01:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No, I didn't do anything. Was induced and had an epi that worked for first. 2nd was just a horrible experience. Apparently they spend a good deal of time on breathing techniques at this class, which is all I'm really looking for. I'm afraid of the natural childbirth classes too!
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 01:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Ina May Gaskin's books are very empowering and clarifying as to exactly what happens.
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 12:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]True, but they're also a bit "hippy dippy," as OP notes. OP: most of these books are that way--just try to read between the lines to get the info you need. That's what I did.
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 01:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]or: ITA with this, and suggest that OP read it with an eye for the incredible amount of information as to what normal birth entails and how to manage the process.
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 01:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: thanks for the advice. i will definitely check out her books. you're right about reading b/t the lines and getting the info i need.
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 01:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]the best advice i was able to gleam from ina's books were the testimonials from women who delivered naturally and their experiences and howthey coped and to think of pain as coming in wavws and not to fight it. I had two surgeries earlier in life where I had to wait in the ER for @ 12 hours before they operated waiting because they didn't know what was wrong with me. And they couldn't give me drugs. After a few hours of fighting the pain and being upset by it from sheer exhaustion I just concentrated on relaxing as much as i could. This experience helped so much with my natural child birth. I loved Ina's books. Good Luck!
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 01:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]This is kind of a ridiculous conversation because everyone deals with pain in different ways. I deal really well with pain - but the experience I had delivering my dd was something I never could have prepared for. The pain almost made me pass out - I thought my body was splitting in two - and it kind of was.
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 01:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: itda that this is a ridiculous conversation. i've had medicated and unmedicated childbirths and i truly believe that fear made the pain worse. just b/c you don't think anything could have made your experience better doesn't mean we are ridiculous for looking for relaxation techniques to improve our experiences.
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 01:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]But - you also have to be prepared for ALL experiences - you can't prepare for every situation.
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 01:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]what, exactly, are you arguing against here? reading books about childbirth? thinking that it's valuable to learn about others' experiences? natural childbirth in general?
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 01:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you are allowed to try to prepare yourself-or- and I felt the same way. I knew I wanted natural and read up on how the body progresses so I knew what was happening with my body and in ways to relax as much as possible. Also, what i tell all pregnant friends, Tennis Balls! They are a savior. I was told to have my husband use them to massage my back, but i was dealing with INSANE siatica and I literally was using them to relieve pressure points. They were so helpful, especially when you first get to the hospital and are strapped to the monitors and told not to move for 20 minutes while they monitor you and the baby.
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 02:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I don't think there is more hippy-dippy than this one and the Farm
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 02:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Childbirth can be extremely painful even if you think you are mentally prepared. Sometimes it comes so fast there is no way for it not to hurt in an astounding manner.
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 01:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I had natural twice and I am neither hippy-dippy nor afraid that the epidural is bad for the baby. I can't say I read anything that "resonated" with me in a book per se, but if you want to do it, you can do it... The pain is fucking pain, but it does come to an end...
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 02:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You might like "the birth partner" by P. Simkin. The illustrations are pretty dated, but I don't recall the info being all "birth is painless and beautiful". It was more practical than uplifting--at least the parts I read. And I had an unmedicated birth; the class (Bradley-esque) we took helped a bunch.
[ Reply | Options ]06.18.08, 04:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My advice is to remember that the pain you feel is for a good reason. When you feel pain, think about relaxing and opening (I just repeated these words to myself over and over and over). And as corny as it sounds, it helped to think about a flower opening. Also remember not to scream (which will tense you up), instead moan, dropping your jaw and saying uhhhh. I went natural without reading a book on it (for db #3)...I just asked for advice here on UB several times. And I found a website that was helpful...wish I could remember the name, sorry...
[ Reply | Options ]06.18.08, 04:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sheila Kitzinger's "Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth'
[ Reply | Options ]07.18.08, 04:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Is a hiring a doula really necessary? 8 replies
- are you even considering natural childbirth? then yes. are you not sure that your husband as great as he is, can support you enough? then yes....
- We did because I wanted to try natural childbirth. DB was sunny-side up, I had terrible back pain - gave up after 12 hours...
Talk : : June 12, 2008
Is a hiring a doula really necessary?
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.12.08, 04:05 PM [ Flag ]no, but it sure is nice. we had a post-partum doula, it was a shower gift from our friends, 20 hours or so, it was a huge huge help
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 04:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ita. I was put on bedrest and dd was early, so other than having the crib set up, we didn't have anything ready. doula helped with organizing db's room and with breast-feeding, well not literally
[ Reply | Options ]06.13.08, 02:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
if you have the money do it, we were going to and last minute didn't get one, bad idea, i was in labor for 4 days and we needed an advocate to be there to yell at my midwife, i wish i had one!!
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 04:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How much are we talking here?
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 04:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
are you even considering natural childbirth? then yes. are you not sure that your husband as great as he is, can support you enough? then yes.
[ Reply | Options ]06.13.08, 02:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]studies show that doulas decrease likelihood of cesarean, use of epidural, length of labor, and increase satisfaction with the birth experience. Up to you to decide if that's necessary or not.
[ Reply | Options ]06.13.08, 02:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]We did because I wanted to try natural childbirth. DB was sunny-side up, I had terrible back pain - gave up after 12 hours at the hospital (had been at home with her for 6 more). She gave DH a lecture about how I was "asking for a c-section" and then did basically nothing for the rest of my labor. But I know lots of friends who had great experiences with theirs.
[ Reply | Options ]06.13.08, 02:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOVED my pp doula with #2 - best money spent - so reasonable too
[ Reply | Options ]06.13.08, 02:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Friend just had a baby and is very into everything natural/organic. She had the perf... 19 replies
- You're missing my point. I'm fine and very happy. Just It comes off like all births should be the way hers was and that those that didn't have that did something wrong. Women use die having childbirth and still do. Glad we have options now. OP...
Talk : : June 12, 2008
Friend just had a baby and is very into everything natural/organic. She had the perfect natural birth. I had a very complicated pregnancy and ended up with C-Section. Not sure if she realizes there is so much that factors in when you're giving birth. I did everything I thought would help me have a healthy baby. I would have loved to have a natural birth. Not sure she realizes how that comes across. It's like everyone that thinks everyone should breast feed when it doesn't work for all women.
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.12.08, 12:29 PM [ Flag ]I'm sorry you didn't get the birth you wanted. Don't let that color your joy for your friend that she did. You want only the best for her, right?
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You're missing my point. I'm fine and very happy. Just It comes off like all births should be the way hers was and that those that didn't have that did something wrong. Women use die having childbirth and still do. Glad we have options now. OP
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]She just had her first baby. Let her bask in the glory without judgement. Is that so hard to do for your "friend"?
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]and before you ask, I had every invention known to man (or woman)
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
maybe she will have a really difficult baby. not that I would wish that on anyone, but it usually all evens out somehow or another.
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]good lord. no wonder so many people on UB have frenemies.
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:32 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
does she make you feel badly about having had a c sxn?
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No but I guess theres that underlying feeling of does she realize what she's saying and who she's saying it to?
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i hate to say it, but most first time mothers are kind of clueless about what they say. i had a c with my first, and I struggled. if you find yourself overly sensitive about what she is saying, find someone to help you come to terms with it. but be prepared-i had a friend lecture me on bf and nipple confusion-she who had no kids, no medical background, etc while I had ebf my 2 kids each to a yr. she had a big wakeup call when she had her kids. i try not to secretly gloat but still, just shows how humbling parenting can b
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np yeah - and how much better I was at it before I had kids!
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
is she saying things that make you think she thinks you are less of a mom? If not, you need to let it go. We all have dif experiences. If you get a healthy baby to bring home, you had a good experience IMHO
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No it's just here experience is very rare from all the friends and family I have experience with. Even those that wanted that. Hired doulas everything didn't get it. So much is out of our hands.
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]All the MORE reason to celebrate it.
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]pretty much all of it is out of our hands from what I have seen. Crackheads have healthy babies while loving mothers have stillborns. Makes no sense. Sigh
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you'll like this: http://www.theonion.com/content/magazine/natural_childbirth_how_morally
[ Reply | Options ]06.12.08, 12:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It sounds to me like the person you are most angry with is yourself, for allowing all those interventions to happen and therefore not getting the birth you wanted. It also sounds like you either don't really like your friend very much or perhaps are just not able to be a good friend to her at the moment. Either way, if you cannot give her your joy, I would give her some space, at least until you deal with your own stuff. Sorry, but that's what I think.
[ Reply | Options ]07.02.08, 09:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have a friend like that who just had a db. Her first words to me were I'm so happy my eating organically during pregnancy worked and he's healthy.
[ Reply | Options ]07.02.08, 09:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Just my two cents, but I don't think eating organically and avoiding hormones and pesticides in pregnancy is worthless. In fact, I think it's very possible that people who do these things often end up with healthier births and healthier children. Our bodies are so finely tuned. Why pretend it doesn't matter what we put into them? As if everything will work just as it should even when we're loaded up with crap? I think that's the height of hubris. A little off topic, but still.
[ Reply | Options ]07.02.08, 09:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Let's just say... a lot of people say stupid things! They don't mean to gloat or rub it in. They may be well-meaning, but stupid things come out of their mouth!
[ Reply | Options ]12.26.08, 12:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Has anyone see Dr. Young Lee at Cornell in Kalish's group? 2 replies
- experience I had with her, she seemed good. And I healed well and quickly, which I guess is a testament to her surgical skills. It really depends on what you're looking for though. If you're interested in something like natural childbirth or VBAC, I wouldn't go with Weill Cornell. If it doesn't matter to you, then they're great....
Talk : : June 11, 2008
Has anyone see Dr. Young Lee at Cornell in Kalish's group?
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.11.08, 04:47 PM [ Flag ]this is a very delayed response, but in case you're watching it, I have seen her (one of her partners is my ob) and she was wonderful. was a bit of a potential emergency (turned out fine in the end) and she was very reassuring, very kind, and apparently very competent. gl
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]She was the 3rd attending I saw (long, failed labor augmentation after SROM at home, ended in section) when I had my dc in October. I was pretty out of it by the time she rolled around, but from what i saw and experienced, I liked her. She was certainly not condescending like the first two who had been on call when I was there. Not much exposure to recommend her, but based on the little experience I had with her, she seemed good. And I healed well and quickly, which I guess is a testament to her surgical skills. It really depends on what you're looking for though. If you're interested in something like natural childbirth or VBAC, I wouldn't go with Weill Cornell. If it doesn't matter to you, then they're great.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 01:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Delivering in 3 weeks. What do I REALLY need to bring to the hospital with me? What d... 53 replies
- ^childbirth makes you feel like you got hit by a truck. rest while you can. also, once you get home, friends will want...cheapy but cute gown , you will be in discomfort and anything around belly will hurt this first 2 days ? are you going natural or c section?...
Talk : : June 06, 2008
Delivering in 3 weeks. What do I REALLY need to bring to the hospital with me? What did you use or forget that was essential?
53 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.06.08, 05:57 AM [ Flag ]toothbrush and toiletries is all you really need. also, your dh or family can always get things for you from home
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 06:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I really liked having my own pillows
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 06:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]a bathrobe is good, too
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 06:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]second that. you don't want anyone seeing your butt on your way to the nursery. and slippers are good too.
[ Reply | Options ]02.04.09, 11:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
robe to throw on if you're expecting visitors. i was happy to have my own pillow. slippers. toiletries. camera.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 06:19 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]breastfeeding pillow, phone and charger, camera, lip balm, moisturizer
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 06:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]a little thing of mouthwash.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 06:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]any basic toiletries you'd bring on an overnight trip. i forgot a hairband and that sucked. gatorade and fruit for when you're waiting for food to come. clothes for you and db. if the hospital has wifi, bring your laptop. cell phone charger. camera and video camera.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 06:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]definitely snacks/juice boxes, pillow, slippers, phone charger & fav soap/lotion
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 06:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]socks, chapstick
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 08:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]my big two as well. also a robe of your own, camera, and i really was happy to have my own wash cloth during labor and my own pillow after. also a nursign pillowcan be very helpful.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 09:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
well make sure your hair is made for the big stay ( i had mine blown out) during child birth i tied it up and sleeping) you will have a lot of company and there is no way for you to do your hair if you out of it, u can wash it when u get home. 2 changes of pjs, you will be bleeding and leaking breastmilk , one pant pj set and one night gown ( you will be bloated after baby) a robe to walk around the floor. money to pay for tv and phone. change of clothes for baby, some favorite snacks and drinks. brush, hair pins , make up , camera and cell phone for conatct numbers...and while you are there dont forget to sleep while nurses take care of baby! GL!
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 08:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]omg!! and slippers , they make you bath while your there dont want your feet to touch the grimy hospital floors no matter how classy the place is
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 08:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i know its alot of stuff and yes agreed you should use the gowns they give you if you bleed alot but i looked my best and didnt feel like damn i m missing something- had baby 10 months ago!
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 12:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
high maintenance my kind of girl! i am afraid allthe sweating will ruin my blow out! someone also told me PJ pants are a no no but I haven't worn a nightgown since i was 12!
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 09:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]buy a cheapy but cute gown , you will be in discomfort and anything around belly will hurt this first 2 days ? are you going natural or c section?
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 12:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you BF bring a button down shirt.
[ Reply | Options ]06.10.08, 11:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i see zero reason to bring your own PJs or gown. you wil be bleeding a lot and i'd rather do that on a hospital gown than my own stuff.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 09:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]AMEN
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 12:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Why would you want to ruin your personal PJs and gowns? Use the hospital provided stuff. You can bleed on those as much as you want.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 09:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I wanted to feel good and look nice for visitors, I used pads and didn't bleed on anything
[ Reply | Options ]06.10.08, 11:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You can leave as soon as you want, they tell you your baby can't leave for 24 hours, my advice - get out asap and go home and enjoy your baby. And make sure you take the peri bottle home with you
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i disagree. stay in the hospital as long as possible where nurses can take care of your baby, where you will have food show up 3x a day without effort.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^childbirth makes you feel like you got hit by a truck. rest while you can. also, once you get home, friends will want to drop by - i liked being in the hospital away from it all.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: i could not rest in the hospital. nurses wake you all the time and it was jsut not relaxing. so glad to get home to my own bed. fo course, i had my mom there to make me food.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ditto, plus we ebf so you take care of the baby yourself. And I guess I married the right guy, had food 3x a day from him. Hated being in the hopital, could not wait to get home.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 12:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i think this may be a 1st time vs later issue. with my first i was happy to stay where i had nurses available. for #2, i wanted OUT.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 12:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think it is a hospital issue. WHen at BI for #1 I wanted out. At LH for #2 I wanted out even faster (there were people going in and out my room all around the clock, for goodness sake!)
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]heh, my #1 was at BI also. #2 was at SLR which was great but still a hospital.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITA with this. The hospital stay was not relaxing at all. Nurses coming in and out whenever they please, doctors dragging everything out, etc. etc. The only advantage a hospital offers is the nursery for your child. But then if you have family around or a useful DH even the nursery is not much of an advantage. Get out of the hospital as fast as possible.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 12:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
UGH, what kind of mother wants nurses to take care of her baby?? take care of your own baby!
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 04:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
this is the WORST advice i've ever seen on UB. enjoy your stay in the hospital and rest up
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]itda. That poster totally had it right. Get out of the hospital ASAP if you insist on going there in the first place ;-)
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 04:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Nursing bra!!! You won't feel like going to buy one once db has arrived. Pick up some Lansinoh while you're there.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]they give you lansinoh at the hospital
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]not every hospital provides, though they should
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 11:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what's lansinoh?
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 04:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
girdle. i couldn't "feel" the urge to urinate afterward because everything was all weird and stretched out. i couldn't stand correctly either - posture was off. a girdle will give you back support and press on your abdomen, so you'll feel more normal.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]spanx ok?
[ Reply | Options ]02.04.09, 11:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Slippers! or flip flops....but big enough for the swelling that happens the next day....
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you are planning on breastfeeding, being nipple cream b/c the first few days can be painful and if your nipples dry, out, crack, etc. it takes a while to heal. I was allergic to lansinoh b/c of the lanolin. Found something called mother love through my lactation consultant that is organic.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 11:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Bathrobe, slippers, nursing bra (buy it big cause your boobs are gonna get huge)!
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ipod or some sort of music.
[ Reply | Options ]06.08.08, 02:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]bring your own maxi pads, w/out wings. yes, the hospital provides them but they don't have the adhesive and you will be slightly incontinent. if the pad moves you will pee everywhere. also, try and get them to give you an extra container of witch hazel pads before you go home. bring some pre-moistened facial cleansing cloths as well. you will be sweating your ass off and these will help you to freshen up and cool off a bit. good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]06.08.08, 09:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I felt I took too much. I had an unexpected c-section, so I was much more immobile, and I could not have cared less about showering, putting on a cute night gown, music, movies, books, etc. A nursing pillow, chapstick, camera, toothbrush/paste, socks, band to put my hair up/back, glasses (no contacts), robe, dried fruit (to keep regular...very important!), and clothes for me and baby to go home. That's it.
[ Reply | Options ]06.09.08, 06:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ipod, lots of waiting. :) good luck it is such an amazing expereince.
[ Reply | Options ]06.10.08, 11:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Food. You'll be starving and the food there sucks
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 05:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]if you're going with the vaginal delivery i would bring some hemoroid pads to reduce the swelling.
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 05:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Bring LOTS of heavy duty pads, big comfy "granny panties", Tucks pads, nursing bra and pads.
[ Reply | Options ]02.04.09, 11:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]same as above but i will reiterate: socks - a few pairs - got blood on some; flip flops, granny panties, your own pillow, lip balm, hand cream, mouthwash, moisturizer.
[ Reply | Options ]02.04.09, 11:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i was comfortable in a nursing tank and loose bottoms then i would throw the hosptial gown over that opened in the front.
[ Reply | Options ]02.04.09, 12:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Just stuff that will make you comfortable and Depends.
[ Reply | Options ]02.04.09, 12:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Something for DH. I forgot to pack for mine and my parents had to go back and pack a bag for him as he stayed w/me through 24hours + of labor and overnight in recovery
[ Reply | Options ]02.04.09, 01:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Poppa Prose
... By Gregory Lang The New York Times bestselling author showcases real-life dad-daughter stories, illustrated by simple black-and-white photos. Husband-Coached Childbirth: The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth By Robert A. Bradley, M.D. This fifth edition updates obstetrician Dr. Bradley's partner-oriented approach through the prenatal stage, labor and birth. The ...Buzz : June 06, 2008
[+] I was watching some reality baby show today. The mom had a natural childbirth but the... 2 replies
- I also have natural births. All 3 of my children have been born at home. I do not breastfeed as I do not produce milk. Strange, I know. My first child was starved by day 6. I tried and tried but have never been able to produce more than a half oz of milk(total) in a 24 hr period. It is rare, but there are a few of us out there. perhaps this is the case or something similar....
Talk : : June 05, 2008
I was watching some reality baby show today. The mom had a natural childbirth but then didn't even try to breastfeed. It seems incongruent to me but I'm not even sure why.
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.05.08, 06:26 PM [ Flag ]Maybe she had pre-existing medical condition that dictated that she couldn't breastfee.
[ Reply | Options ]06.25.08, 09:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I also have natural births. All 3 of my children have been born at home. I do not breastfeed as I do not produce milk. Strange, I know. My first child was starved by day 6. I tried and tried but have never been able to produce more than a half oz of milk(total) in a 24 hr period. It is rare, but there are a few of us out there. perhaps this is the case or something similar.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 10:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] any recs for a good short birthing class in NYC? I don't want any of those multi-ses... 38 replies
- class at Realbirth. FWIW, I was really blase about childbirth education and really regretted it....
- , just so you know Realbirth is touchy feely, breastfeeding natural birth kind of place....
- And no, if there is a crisis in childbirth - I defer to the doctor, I don'...they want - a scheduled C or a natural birth. Whatever it is, to each her own...
- Well, it is MANDATORY to take a childbirth preparation class if you're going to give...
Talk : : June 05, 2008
any recs for a good short birthing class in NYC? I don't want any of those multi-session classes, just a quick short course so I'm not totally clueless when the day comes.
38 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.05.08, 01:59 PM [ Flag ]what if I tell you it probably doesnt really matter if you go or not at all
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree. Total waste of time. DO not go to lamaze.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, it is MANDATORY to take a childbirth preparation class if you're going to give birth in the SLR Birthing Center- FYI. I've heard good things about Realbirth
[ Reply | Options ]02.03.09, 02:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Sign up for whatever class your hospital offers.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ask at your hospital. I'll be honest with you, I didn't take one. I took a breastfeeding class at Stlukes/roosevelt and an anesthesiology options class at NYU (free). And loved both of them.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]The above advice is terrible. If you have a rough delivery, like I did, it will be so much worse if you have no idea what the f*ck is happening and what your options are. You REALLY want to be on top of what all the interventions are and what the downsides can be--especially if you're delivering at a "top" hospital in nyc. Whatever you can do to make your own labor progress and to labor on your own is going to help you a lot in the long run. Take a class at Realbirth. FWIW, I was really blase about childbirth education and really regretted it.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^ also, I'm not talking about breathing techniques and massage. I'm saying learn everything there is to know about the upsides/downsides/side effects of Pitocin, Epidurals, fetal monitoring, episiotomy, ivs, c-section, eating/drinking and what the protocols are at your particular hospital or at the slightest sign of trouble you're going to be hooked up to a thousand machines and drips, flat on your back, and well on your way to an "emergency" c-section.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm sorry your birth wasn't what you wanted it to be. But the above advice in not horrible. Its just different than advice you would give :)
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]obviously, some people have a rough time of it, so better to be at least a little educated about the process rather than stick your head in the sand
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]The advice is only sound if OP ends up having a relatively easy birth. Considering the number of emergency c-sections that go down in nyc hospitals, every first time mom's odds of having one are way higher than they should be. Which makes not be educated... Bad advice.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That is not true. Some patients trust their doctors and take it as it comes.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Your doctor doesn't labor for you. Your doctor delivers the baby. There is a big gap in there, and if you know what your options are, you can make your labor a lot smoother in many cases. Very few first babies simply pop out.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]actully, the mom delivers the baby, the doc catches it.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What city do you live in? In NYC, the doc delivers the baby, often with a wild cocktail of chemicals that may or may not be necessary or beneficial to anyone.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NYC.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]The more you post the clearer it becomes you are a birth nazi.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Nope, not at all. PG w/ #2, and fully planning on getting an epi, delivering with an OB at Cornell, etc. Just know a lot more about what I can do in terms of postponing certain interventions to make this delivery go more smoothly and come out of it feeling better physically and emotionally. What's so hard to understand? For every person who had an easy 4 hour labor like you, you must surely know people who had anything but that.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
oh please. stop the fearmongering
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
My (very pro-intervention) OB actually said to me "This is going to be the most important day of your life. Don't you want to go into it as prepared as you can be?
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I didn't say ALL, I said some. Why can't people understand we all make choices, they are all different. A birthing class is not a necessity.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]of course an OB said that. Labor and delivery is HIS life. Its one day.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I gave birth flat on my back twice, without meds. And I was happy to have fetal monitoring. I really dislike fear mongering.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Me too. Induced with first baby, four hours of labor, 12 minutes - yep 12 minutes of pushing, epidural - no problem. The whole fear thing that women do to other women is awful
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You know you are really lucky, right? It's really not this easy for everyone. What if it hadn't been so easy for you, wouldn't you have wanted to know as much as you could?
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No, I don't know how lucky I am - I know lots of induced women with no problems at all. And no, if there is a crisis in childbirth - I defer to the doctor, I don't know more than they do by reading a book or taking a class. Sorry. We are all different.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why? So you could lie there and argue with your OB about wether or not to have a c section when doc says you need one? Are you kidding?
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
OR: I hate that birthing has become a competitive sport, that one choice is better. And I have no patience for the "intervention is evil" types.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know. Make your choices and I sincerly hope that every woman gets exactly what they want - a scheduled C or a natural birth. Whatever it is, to each her own
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
thank you. very helpful.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sure. If you aren't going to take a class, you should read a book called "The Big Book of Birth" by Erica Lyon. It covers all of this in a very sensible, straightforward way with a lot of personal stories thrown in. Written by the founder of Realbirth and very informative. GL!
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I will definitely check it out. Thanks again.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP, just so you know Realbirth is touchy feely, breastfeeding natural birth kind of place.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not into the natural birth for sure, but it was also mentioned to me by someone else, so I may look into it.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you breastfeed they have good breastfeeding support group (and cheap). But, go in with your eyes open. Intervention is evil - but you probably guessed that from the responder.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Don't let the intervention is evil folks scare you or make you feel like your choices are less valid. I ended up needing a c-section for my first and my supposedly woman friendly birthing instructor made me feel like a failure, and some ind of traitor to womanhood. hard to take when you are huge and hormonal.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Just so you know, there is a wide, wide range of pain relief offered by epidural anesthesia. The more you get, and the earlier you get it, the more likely you are to "fail to progress" for many, many reasons. And YOU are the one who gets to decide when it goes in and how much it's ratcheted up. You really need to know this stuff going in!
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks doc! Anyone intereted in pain management should take the class at NYU. Its great. Taught by head of department. Factual, not emotional. And free. Once a month.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 03:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
It is and it isn't. There is a class there specifically for people who know in advance that they will probably want an epidural. They cater to all--except maybe to those who really would rather just schedule their c-sections and avoid the whole thing.
[ Reply | Options ]06.05.08, 02:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] this may be a stupid question, but what is the big deal about having herpes? Does it ... 7 replies
- I think it poses serious problems during childbirth (potential blindness in infant)...
- OP Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Thanks. But it must be manageable b/c a friend of mine has it and has had 4 natural childbirths with no problems. Don't know the details though...
Talk : : June 04, 2008
this may be a stupid question, but what is the big deal about having herpes? Does it cause problems other than the obvious? I know it would be annoying and inconvenient, but is it a health risk?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.04.08, 07:10 PM [ Flag ]I think it poses serious problems during childbirth (potential blindness in infant)
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 07:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Thanks. But it must be manageable b/c a friend of mine has it and has had 4 natural childbirths with no problems. Don't know the details though
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 07:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It was manageable for your friend because she was not having an outbreak during birth. If she were it would def be a c-section.
[ Reply | Options ]12.26.08, 12:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I have type 2 (mouth), it hurts, can be embarrassing, but that's about it. certainly not life threatening.
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 07:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thx. That's what I thought. How is it dif from a cold sore (or is it?) I get those but never had it looked at by a doc. Guess it could be herpes...
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 07:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]cold sores and herpes are teh same thing. abreva works great, if you havent tried it.
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 07:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]love that stuff. Terrified I will give this to DD. I try to be careful but every time she gets anything around her mouth I freak out. Sigh
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 07:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] i feel like so many of the women hear are very pro-epidurals. please don't flame, but... 14 replies
- op- i was considering a natural birth, a drug free birth....
- see how you can consider using an epidural a natural birth?...
- quick so I feel like I was a little natural/ a little medicated...
- get the epi in and i had the baby naturally and it wasn't too bad. but then,...it and then feeling that they somehow failed at childbirth...
Talk : : June 04, 2008
i feel like so many of the women hear are very pro-epidurals. please don't flame, but i am just wondering if the people that took the drugs considered a natural birth? or if your mind was made up from the very beginning. again, i am not judging your choice, i am more curious about this decision since i work w many expectant moms. tia!
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.04.08, 02:28 PM [ Flag ]there is nothing "unnatural" about giving birth having had an epidural
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 02:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op- i was considering a natural birth, a drug free birth.
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 02:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i don't really see how you can consider using an epidural a natural birth?
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 02:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Of course it's not a natural birth. Natural means unadorned and in its natural state. No one said you had to go that route and yes, we're arguing semantics, but be accurate. You delivered a db vaginally, with interventions (pain killers). Stand up and own it.
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 02:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wouldn't a totally "natural" birth not take place in a hospital?
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 03:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i had epi 2x. never considered natural birth. if it matters, i am not a big drinker or drug taker. i just saw no need for the pain if the dr. says i don't have to. to each their own. i have great respect for those who go natural. i never could.
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 02:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]my mind was made up from the beginning to use the epidural. I wanted a peaceful birth, and that's what I got, x 2. I don't care what other people do.
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 02:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I've had three unmedicated births, if that's what you mean. I don't like the term "natural birth".
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 02:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^meaning that you need to be more specific. I like the term "low-intervention."
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 02:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA. I had one child without meds and one with. the epidural was a much calmer and less stressful experience for me. I really hate that birthing has become a competitive sport.
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 03:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I had an epidural but my ob shut the drip off when I was in labor so it would progress quickly. I still had the residual effects of pain med but my labors were both speedy quick so I feel like I was a little natural/ a little medicated
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 02:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i always planned on an epi but with DC1, they couldn't get the epi in and i had the baby naturally and it wasn't too bad. but then, with DC2, i was able to get the epi and it was HORRIBLE -- i was itching all over and it gave me the shakes -- i didn't even think i'd be able to push. if i had to do it again, i would do it without the epi - and that's from someone who loves alcohol and pain pills!
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 02:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think I told OB that I wanted drugs on my first visit. He said that 80% of women who insist they don't want pain-relief end up wanting it and then feeling that they somehow failed at childbirth
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 03:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think you should go with the flow and not put pressure on yourself one way or the other. Every pregnancy is different. Everyone has a different level for pain tolerance, and those that have a better tolerance and easier deliveries are in no way better than those that don't
[ Reply | Options ]06.04.08, 03:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Moving to Rowayton, CT and looking for a good OB (one who is OK with natural childbir...
Talk : : June 02, 2008
[+] Any suggestions for childbirth prep in nyc? Hope to go natural and would love specif... 3 replies
Talk : : May 30, 2008
Any suggestions for childbirth prep in nyc? Hope to go natural and would love specific classes and/or doulas.
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]05.30.08, 04:32 PM [ Flag ]Here are some links that might be helpful:
[ Reply | Options ]02.03.09, 02:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Whoops-- I got cut off ...
[ Reply | Options ]02.03.09, 02:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Definitely Realbirth.
[ Reply | Options ]02.03.09, 02:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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