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[+] 7 weeks pregnant... my birthday is on Monday. Very bad to have a glass of low-alcoho... 7 replies
- Thanks! Am feeling so ill right now (all-day morning sickness since monday) but I might want a glass of my favorite champagne-like beverage to celebrate my birthday...
Talk : : February 13, 2009
7 weeks pregnant... my birthday is on Monday. Very bad to have a glass of low-alcohol sparkling wine?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.13.09, 01:43 PM [ Flag ]-
I was just asking a question, no need to be rude!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 01:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: absolutely have it, db will be fine, and happy birthday!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 02:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
have one glass...or maybe have something with no alchohol that is sparkly...so exciting to be pregnant...what a great b-day present!!!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 02:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks! Am feeling so ill right now (all-day morning sickness since monday) but I might want a glass of my favorite champagne-like beverage to celebrate my birthday... just one, then will switch to Martinelli's or something!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 02:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what the hell is low-alcohol sparkling wine. chateau o'douls?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 03:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not in your first trimester..bad idea
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 03:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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[+] I'm sick with worry... at work, DH (who stayed home this morning because he worked al... 39 replies
- are you in an apartment or house? if apt. how could dog get out? i hope he is OK. i would be sick with worry too. does he have tag and stuff?...
Talk : : February 13, 2009
I'm sick with worry... at work, DH (who stayed home this morning because he worked all night) called me an hour ago to tell me the dog is missing. Dogwalker showed up just now and, obviously didn't have the dog (was coming to pick him up). DH's cousin and his family stayed with us last night, and could have taken him, but none of them are answering their cell phones. Ahhhhhh!!!!!!
39 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.13.09, 11:43 AM [ Flag ]wow... so nice that no one cares!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]today? probably not. they're all on the schools board agonizing over letters and who got an email today. I am sorry for you though, and hope you find your pup.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks... geez, people here suck.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]how long have you been here? you're just figuring that out?!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm pretty new... but it seems like people post things about their anxieties all the time, and often people are very sympathetic.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
sorry but it's a dog.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]seriously? clearly you've never had a dog
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]But now you don't have to walk it anymore.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My dog is my first baby. If something happened to him I would be devastated.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You'll get over it, and quick.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you're a bitch.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
are you in an apartment or house? if apt. how could dog get out? i hope he is OK. i would be sick with worry too. does he have tag and stuff?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]apartment, but houseguests might have left elevator unlocked or something... really don't know. Wish DH hadn't worried me. He doesn't wear a collar inside, but he is microchipped.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Why do you have a dog walker? You are not a very hands on dog owner? Do you also have a nanny for your kids?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]DH and I work fulltime and I am pregnant with my first. Most people in this city have dogwalkers.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I hope you find your dog.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thank you.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Geez, lady, I have a dog walker and a nanny, too. Both DH and I work FT.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm sure your cousin et al have the dog. How could have gotten out?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't know?! But they won't answer their phones!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]they do don't worry
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. Trying not to, but wish dh had just dealt with it without calling me and making me crazy too!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm sure the cousin has the dog. They probably thought it would be great to take him out to enjoy the nice weather. They're probably sight seeing and out of cell range. Try not to worry. There's nothing you can do about it until they call you back.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks... I'm still worried though!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
why would they have taken him?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]This is what I don't understand?!?!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm sorry to hear that! I was nine months pregnant when my mom accidentally let the dog out. I went chasing after her, big tummy and all! I hope everything turns out fine, but I'm so glad you microchipped your dog at least.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. I just keep hearing horror stories about dognapping in this city, so I'm really worried
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Geez, get a freaking life. It's a DOG, not a human being or something. No need to have an ulcer.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Have you ever had a pet? I'd be upset if my dog went missing, too.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 12:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: Would you have posted something so shitty if this wasn't anonymous? Try keeping your negative comments to yourself, you unhappy shrew.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 01:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP - obviously you've never had a dog, and you've never met my DOG. From your post my dog is clearly 100% more human than you are.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 01:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: I don't get this american obsession with pets. It's like you use them as a substitute for human interaction (since you tend to shun your family members after a certain age and divorce easily)
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 01:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Holy sweeping stereotyping! Must be nice to sit on the mount and pass judgment.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 01:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Op- I don't "get" you. I am NOT american and love my dog. What is wrong with that? DH also loves the dog, as do my parents, his, our siblings and our friends. He's a fabulous dog. What is your problem?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 01:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yes, let's talk about more important things like how cute your dc children are and how they got into every school they applied.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 01:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
My dog was FINALLY found... of course I'm livid now- DH's cousins left the door open, dog was in the building and one of our neighbors "took him in" - but didn't feel the need to call either of us, or post on our building's message board that they had the dog. DH only found out when he was going around the building knocking on everyone's doors. And yes, the neighbor DID know it was our dog!!!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 02:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^ of course, I'm incredibly happy my pup is alive and well!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 02:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's wonderful news! I would absolutely be angry with the cousin AND the neighbor, though probably less so with the neighbor - he/she probably didn't realize that your husband was home, and was waiting for the workday to end before letting you know. Thanks for re-posting so we would know how the story ended.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 05:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] so, at 7:30 am this morning, there is a knock at our apartment door and there is Babb... 12 replies
- ITA, NYC is one sick society....
Talk : : February 13, 2009
so, at 7:30 am this morning, there is a knock at our apartment door and there is Babby with a dozen long-stemmed roses, a latte, and an acceptence letter for dc. Anyone else?
12 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.13.09, 06:34 AM [ Flag ]Have you nothing to say?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's so WEIRD, because she was at our house at almost the exact time. i was so shook i almost lost my snuggie.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]even if it's to jersey!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^ack-mispost.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
us TOO!! and I was amazed that D wanted our kid & we didn't even apply there. What a great school! See ya in the fall!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Babby is a good person who is completely committed to her job. Practically speaking, if you accept at Dalton you'll hardly ever see her again - maybe at the accepted parents open house or the first day of school or if you have a second child and interview again. BTW - the Dalton acceptance letter is great because it is personalized with the things they really liked about your DC.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]so now i have a picture in my head of the letter they wrote yes and no for the 5-10 kids on the cusp. and the sad yesses that turned into no's to be ripped up. sad.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]FWIW I think the WL may move this year. I also think Dalton overaccepted last year and K classes were larger than admissions and teachers would have liked. I would think they'd be more conservative this year also weighing in favor of WL movement.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Babby is one busy broad. A bit odd though. My DH and I appreciated the ethnic food, terrific attention to detail Babs, but seriously 5:00 am? And where'd she get our keys?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]That is just sad. Admission into kindergarten and first-grade should not trump most people's high school and college applications. You people need to get a life and realize that even admissions into the upper echelons of private school does not indicate that your dc will be smart, happy, and unsuccessful. Hunter/Stuy maybe, but not the private schools NYC is peddling.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 07:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA, NYC is one sick society.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 07:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ditto.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 07:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] if you're cooking, what's for dinner tonight? 10 replies
- all-day morning sickness means we'll be eating plain pasta...
Talk : : February 12, 2009
if you're cooking, what's for dinner tonight?
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.12.09, 01:29 PM [ Flag ]pasta with tomato sauce, parmesan and peas.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 01:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Roasted cauliflower/broccoli/brussels sprouts, sauteed swiss chard, quinoa pasta, bluevado (blueberry/avocado) pie for dessert
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 01:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]bluevado, how interesting!
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 01:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]10 oz. blueberries, 3 bananas, 1 avocado blended til smooth, then poured into a raw nuts pie crust. Sprinkle some coconut on top, chill for three hours. It is my one no-fail dessert no matter where I serve it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 02:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Pork loin in apple/plum/raisin chutney and rosemary, brussel sprouts, wild rice
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 01:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
lentil stew, steamed broccoli, side salad.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 01:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]lots of vegans on the board today!
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 01:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
stir fry chicken and broccoli with brown rice
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 02:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Probably pancakes...
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 02:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I can't handle cooking at the moment... all-day morning sickness means we'll be eating plain pasta... again
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 02:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I am an experienced, board certified pediatrician who is considering making after hou... 33 replies
- My dc's peds office is open Sat and Sun for sick visits and if its in the evening and can't wait until morning - I'm off to the ER...
- think you missed the point, if it can't wait until morning - then it is an emergency...
- , that is normal. And I see no reason why my sick child must go to an office if the doc is...in England from British health service ped when I was sick as a child. It was much more comfortable than what...
Talk : : February 12, 2009
I am an experienced, board certified pediatrician who is considering making after hours housecalls (evenings and weekends)-How much would you be willing to pay for me to make this type of housecall in Manhattan?
33 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.12.09, 07:41 AM [ Flag ]double rate
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Nothing. My dc's peds office is open Sat and Sun for sick visits and if its in the evening and can't wait until morning - I'm off to the ER
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I would be willing to spend a lot of money to avoid ER!
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think you missed the point, if it can't wait until morning - then it is an emergency
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP - Our son had croup a few weeks back - stridor came on just after the ped office closed and we were headed to the hospital when a ped friend offered to look at him. Instead of waiting several hours after his bedtime in a germy ER (yes, I have been through this before), we went over to her place. I was home in 45 minutes with prescription in hand and my son got a good night's sleep. Worth every single penny of the 90-min massage we gave our friend as a thank you. ER would have been $50 copay anyway.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what's your regular rate?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i think in this economy, few are willing to pay for this upscale service unless there are unusual circumstances.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I would pay $125 for those times the kids, DH, etc. and I are all sick or I am busy at work but want DD looked at anyway (priorities).
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think you are better off (from a business model) establishing a reputation with upscale hotels and helping tourists.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I totally disagree, I would be willing to pay at least 100 dollars extra (above the medical fee) for a housecall if my dc is sick. Plus, I have other dcs and sometimes I need to bring a younger one into the office for an older one's appt. I hate bringing a well child into the ped office during flu season.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]So, instead of having a doctors office with your childs records you would opt for a ped to come to your home - or you would have a mix of both? Sometimes see one ped, sometimes see another?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I see different docs from the group at our ped practice, that is normal. And I see no reason why my sick child must go to an office if the doc is willing to travel to me. 40 something mom here had visits at home in England from British health service ped when I was sick as a child. It was much more comfortable than what we have to deal with here.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
This type of service would be most beneficial for newborns, especially during awful weather. Would you consider doing well baby visits too? I hate taking my healthy kid into the germy office.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]true true!
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]this is a great idea, op!
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]second that!
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I would pay a "housecall fee" - $80-$150? This assumes you insurance would cover the regular fees and this would be on top.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]people pay 30K and up for private schools, we certainly would pay over a hundred extra for a housecall
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]DH and I make not much more than $100k together and I'd pay an extra $100 for a housecall.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 10:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Looks like the downturn hasn't hit UB yet :)
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i'd pay $150 (beyond regular fee) for house call. trouble is, don't you need an office to analyze urine, etc?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Nothing. Ped open Sats, many Sundays, very responsive. In this economy really trying to stay "in-network"
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]My ped office charges an additional $50 for weekend office visits. One of them is on call and available to see dc if need be. I would not pay anything to have you come to my home in the evening. If it is an emergency you go to the er. Don't you need chart available to see a child? Why not be available to meet the child in your office for an extra fee?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I had a homebirth. My midwife came to me for the postpartum visit which was amazing. I was tired, sore and loved that I didn't need to go anywhere for the 3day visit or the 6 week visit. When I had to take my newborn out to her ped. visit I was really annoyed. I agree w/ the other poster who suggested this for babies too. What a great idea.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]How would you manage insurance and billing? Would it all be paid out of pocket? What about liability? I think this might be fake.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 10:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]about $100 extra. but i think I'd probalby only need this service a couple times a year. i think it is a great idea to supplement your income but I'm not sure you could live off it or anything.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 11:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I thought you are not allowed to charge beyond contracted rate for insured patients. Would you be allowed to do this and charge insurance?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 11:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]HOUSECALLS ARE FREE IN FRANCE!
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 11:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]SO MOVE TO FRANCE!
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 04:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
my advice; this is a bad time to look for an increase in anyones discretionary spending. if i were a ped now i would be in most plans and compete directly and agressively with the peds who are of no better quality yet have opted out of all plans and have long waits for office visits especially the quacky ones down in Tribeca and downtown...
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 11:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]not a doc but if I were a ped, I would do something like what OP is thinking about. trying to squeeze a few extra dollars from insurance is painful and not worth the effort.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you should check out pediatricstogo.com
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 04:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I would pay you $100 to tell me my child was faking so I could send them to school.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] i'm a mess. miscarried. the fetus is too big for a d&c. they had to do a d&e and i... 23 replies
- If the baby stopped growing, there was something wrong with it -- you don't want a sick baby. It just wasn't meant to be this time around. Things get better -- it just takes...dh is looking forward to trying again and it's so hard. you put in your all. you follow the rules. you deal with the morning sickness and fatigue. you get past the first eight or ten weeks, start thinking about childcare, maternity clothing, telling people. and then it's snatched away...
Talk : : February 11, 2009
i'm a mess. miscarried. the fetus is too big for a d&c. they had to do a d&e and i'm in a lot of pain. and i can't stop crying. and i'm so sad. i threw out all the ultrasound pictures. i don't want an ultrasound picture. i wanted a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. i know it gets easier but boy, this is really hard.
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.11.09, 05:36 PM [ Flag ]I'm sorry to hear. How many weeks were you?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]they think it stopped growing at about 13 weeks.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
oh man, I'm really sorry
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. it makes it so much easier just to "say" it out loud to someone. i don't want to talk to anyone irl.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
So sorry. I miscarried at 6 wks and it was devastating. I can't imagine how hard it must be at your stage. Sending you good thoughts. Things will get better. Hang in there.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Sorry for your loss.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm so sorry. I know that's really hard.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am so sorry. I lost a baby at 18 weeks. it really sucks. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it will get better with time.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: this is my second pregnancy loss so i was a little more prepared for the possibility. but i guess you're never prepared enough for it not to hurt.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, you are never prepared. fwiw, the one I lost was my 3rd miscarriage in a row. I lost the prior 2 at 8 weeks. thought i was in the clear when i hit 12 weeks. I did go on to have a healthy child.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. it's so hard. you get past those "waiting for a heartbeat" weeks. then you breathe this sigh of relief. then boom. thanks for posting. it feels good for me to just talk it out, know that my feelings are normal, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]totally normal. just hang in there.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks again. i wish i could fast forward a couple of weeks. even a couple of days.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I miscarried at 8 weeks. It was painful, but I understood that it happened for a reason. It took time to move on though. I send you comfort.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]So sorry to hear. I miscarried twice and now have a beautiful dd. If the baby stopped growing, there was something wrong with it -- you don't want a sick baby. It just wasn't meant to be this time around. Things get better -- it just takes time. Good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]do you know why you may have miscarried twice? have you seen a specialist?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]haven't seen a specialist yet. the first time, the doctor said it was likely a chromosomal issue (trisomy 18, 21, etc). but with two in a row at essentially the same point in pregnancy, i'm very concerned.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Once you've collected yourself and ready, schedule an appt. with an RE and consider doing a genetics analysis of you and DH, and other workups that they do. You may get some answers and be able to have a healthy pg with some help.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. i think it's a good idea for us to do that. i don't know if they'll be able to get any results from the testing of this fetus. but after two consecutive miscarriages, i really want to be aggressive about looking for answers.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I am very sorry for your loss. I had 3 mcs in a row and then went on to have a healthy full term pregnancy/new baby. It was a rough road and very very hard for me and my dh but you are not alone. I agree w/the above posters who suggest a visit to an RE. I saw Dr. Pak Chung at Cornell and found him extremely helpful -- there are some wonderful REs working in NYC who may be of great help to you. GL and again, so sorry for your losses.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. were they able to find a problem? the doctor i spoke to today said that they find reasons for miscarriages fewer than half the time. dh is looking forward to trying again and it's so hard. you put in your all. you follow the rules. you deal with the morning sickness and fatigue. you get past the first eight or ten weeks, start thinking about childcare, maternity clothing, telling people. and then it's snatched away.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
My heart goes out to you. That sounds wrenching. I think you're right to look for some answers, if any are there for you. That way, at least you stand a chance of knowing what you're up against. Knowledge = power.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] why is dairy bad, other than naturally high in calories? 28 replies
- really, it produces mucus? i'm experiencing rhinitis and i drink milk every morning (not coffee, just milk...
- I don't get headaches/migraines anymore. My kids never get sick anymore (used to get colds all the time, sometimes headaches). My husband's cholesterol is down 52 pts, mine is...
Talk : : February 11, 2009
why is dairy bad, other than naturally high in calories?
28 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.11.09, 09:06 AM [ Flag ]I think that's about it and the sugar in milk, though it's natural sugar. My OB makes me drink the 1 percent which is pretty good. The 2 percent even has a lot of calories. Now, when I drink whole milk on occasion it tastes like I'm drinking heavy cream. Blech!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Traditional Chinese medicine posits that it creates dampness (fluid/mucus) that throws things out of whack.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It produces excess mucous, is high in sugar and if it's cow milk, the cell size is too large to be well digested except by calves. Most humans over age 1 are lactose intolerant to varying degrees. Goats' milk is more digestible by humans, as the cell size is more comparable to our own milk.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]interesting
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]really, it produces mucus? i'm experiencing rhinitis and i drink milk every morning (not coffee, just milk... i know, i'm an infant). i wonder if i should stop
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, this is correct.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
does that mean that many of those calories pass through instead of being absorbed for energy/fat?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
This is generally a religious war, with defenders on both sides. We're dairy free and have been for a while now. It's made a huge difference for our family. My big influences were Joel Fuhrman's _Disease Proof Your Child_ (a book with an execrable title, but great content) and Marion Nestle's _What To Eat_. Dr. Spock recommended a vegan diet in the last edition of his book, too. We eat meat rarely and fish occasionally, but the dairy is gone forever.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]but how had it made a difference?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't get headaches/migraines anymore. My kids never get sick anymore (used to get colds all the time, sometimes headaches). My husband's cholesterol is down 52 pts, mine is down 40 pts, and we're all at our ideal weights.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yeah, not drinking milk keeps the cold virus away.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
soy will never be a good substitute for ice cream.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Heh, I agree. That said, I've made ice cream for my kids' friends that has fooled even the most discerning 7-year-olds. No soy in my ice cream recipes.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
From what I've read - they give cow's hormones to make them produce more milk and not all the hormone all able to be filtered. So it is speculated that alot of extra hormones go into your body when you drink milk. I don't even drink milk (I have it sometimes in cereal) and it even drives me crazy to give it to dd but right now the doctor says I should so I do.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why not get a second opinion? I don't think it's a good idea to shop for doctors who tell you what you want to hear, but milk is hardly a clear-cut issue. Plenty of qualified experts on both sides.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know a woman with 3 kids who wouldn't give her kids milk and they were constantly breaking bones. maybe it was unrelated but I'm just sayin
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Milk isn't the only source of calcium. You can get plenty from spinach, collards, kale, bok choy... if you're not going to give your kids dairy products, you need to make sure they're eating plenty of greens. I'm a big fan of concentrating on what TO eat, rather than on what NOT to eat.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no way my kids or me will eat enough of these veggies to account for the lack of calcium i would of gotten from milk.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
In one of the largest studies of diet and health ever undertaken in the U.S., the Nurse’s Health Study, researchers found that high total calcium intake and milk consumption did not protect against osteoporotic fractures. In a comprehensive review of all studies of dairy intake and bone strength in 2000, researchers concluded “that the body of scientific evidence appears inadequate to support a recommendation for daily intake of dairy foods to promote bone health in the general U.S.population.” references for that are: Feskanich D, Willett WC, Colditz GA. Calcium, vitamin D, milk consumption and hip fractures: a prospective study among postmenopausal women. Am J Clin Nutr2003;77(2): 504-11. and Weinsier RL, Krumdieck CL. Dairy foods and bone health: examination of the evidence. Am J Clin Nutr 2000;72:681-689.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]oops. second reference: Weinsier RL, Krumdieck CL. Dairy foods and bone health: examination of the evidence. Am J Clin Nutr 2000;72:681-689.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]what does that have to do with fractures in kids?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: Not sure, but this is worth a read: http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/what-should-you-eat/calcium-and-milk/index.html
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yeah, but it's easy to buy hormone free milk.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
wow, i can't live without diary products.. what is harsh. I heard soy milk is not great either so what should dc or adults substitute for calcium that is convenient to eat without cooking? No diary means you can't eat a lot of great tasting foods in restaurants. this is depressing me because I do believe that diary might not be good for me.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You need about 1000 mg/day, more if you're over 50. A glass of calcium fortified OJ has 300 mg, 1/4 cup of almonds (or 2 tbsp of almond butter) has ~100. A cup of cooked broccoli has 100 mg, and a cup of cooked spinach has 245 mg, but that violates your 'no cooking' requirement. We eat a lot of cooked leafy greens, but on a rushed day, the kids will drink a green smoothie and get 1/2 their calcium needs met that way. We cook every day so it's easy. Without cooking, it's more of a challenge.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]does your kids and you actually eat at least 1000 mg/day? I can easily achieve that with a few glasses of milk. I doubt kids in general will eat several cups worth of veggies each day especially small kids.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 02:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Small kids need less (500-800 mg), but yes, my kids get their requirements every day, and I get more than I need. A glass of fortified OJ has 300 mg of calcium -- same as a glass of milk. And kids in general have eating habits similar to that of their parents. DH and I eat a diet consisting primarily of veggies, fruits, beans, nuts and legumes; that's what our kids eat as well.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 02:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I would only guess the saturated fat. We love whole milk and cheese and we get very few colds and have excellent cholesterol numbers - eat a varied diet. I would never give it up. I will say my colds decreased when I started using a neti pot daily
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 02:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Uggg... this morning sickness is SO awful! 6.5 weeks pregnant and am so nauseated al... 42 replies
- not been sick much at all! Sometimes I forget that I am even pregnant...
- I was also one of those who experienced horrendous morning sickness thru out both pregnancies. GREEN APPLES (granny smith)...
- i had morning sickness really bad and my doctor had me take vitamin b and also...
Talk : : February 11, 2009
Uggg... this morning sickness is SO awful! 6.5 weeks pregnant and am so nauseated all day long. Please tell me what worked for you so I can try it asap...
42 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.11.09, 08:33 AM [ Flag ]Being 14 weeks pregnant and being happy I was pregnant. I'm sorry, GL!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry, that doesn't really help...
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know, I am sorry. I just feel like I tried things like "drinking citrus" and none of it actually helped me.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
anyone?!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i really helped me to carry around a pack of saltine crackers to snack on. also, i still carry ginger candy (the hard candy kind that is a little spicy, not the soft, chewy ones) and suck on one if i feel sick. good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks... I'm basically living on saltines and have some crystalized ginger but will try to find the hard candy
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Congratulations ! i feel so bad for you. for me ms subsided around 17 weeks. things that worked for me: drinks with lots of ice, sour gummie candies, little meals, soups, don't skip meals - eat at regular times. dont eat when you are really hungry, candied ginger, lemonade, pasta, go with the flow (if you need to vomit, don't hold back !), Crackers made me feel worse. gl
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks so much. I WISH I would vomit, and feel like I have to, but it doesn't come. At the moment i can't handle anything hot (so ice cold drinks are good), have been eating crackers but they don't really make me feel better. Will try lemonade and sour things.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]definitely eating a little bit at regular intervals is good too, if you can. i'm 23 weeks and the only thing that i figured out to work for me was to keep food with me and eat every hour or so, even if i wasn't hungry. it also helped to lay down and close my eyes for 15 minutes. i know what you mean though. i never vomited, but i wished i could. if it's any consolation, it usually gets better after the 1st trimester.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks... I am working on keeping things with me at all times (crackers, pretzels, anything bland) and will try to make myself eat every hour. I SO wish I could vomit right now but it won't happen, and i'm not going to stick my fingers down my throat (of course, don't really have anything to vomit up!). Yes, I'm just trying to get through the next 6 weeks and hope it calms down!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
for some reason, grilled cheese and pizza were ok to eat.. just make sure it isn't greasy
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
12 weeks pg and got lucky with this one... not been sick much at all! Sometimes I forget that I am even pregnant
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]it just hit me 2 days ago... SO bad!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am so sorry. DO you have to work during the day?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes. unfortunately... and this is our busiest time.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
seabands - acupressure armbands, never have an empty stomach - so the crackers suggestion is a good one. ginger ale. i also swore that when ever i would have some vegatarian sushi - i would eat the fresh cut ginger and feel better. you can get ginger gum at health food stores and ginger chews also. good luck! you will feel better soon!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks... have the ginger chew things, but will look for the seabands.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
carbs. bagels, crackers, pretzels, bagels, bagels, bagels! my ob friend told me i could take unisom or benadryl to help and also B-6 (or was it B12) - you can look it up.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. I am so exhausted all the time so don't want to take unisom or benadryl because I know I'll crash, and already have a hard time getting through the day
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]at bedtime! not during the day - that would be awful!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. Not having trouble sleeping, and don't feel bad while i am...
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]it's supposed to help during the day though. not sure i understand why, but that's what she told me.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ok, I will try it... I have benadryl, maybe I'll take some tonight. Thanks!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]one caveat: you want to make sure you take the one with the drowsiness ingredient. i would google it - it's that ingredient that helps with nausea.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ok, thanks. I will google!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: benadryl is basically the same thing as dramamine and does help with nausea to a certain extent
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The only thing that makes me feel better is eating.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]eating what? I can barely stand to THINK about food right now!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Mostly I can just eat cereal. Anything else makes me more nauseous.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. Like plain cheerios or something like that? Any recommendations
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Plain cheerios and kix. Pretty plain.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]that didnt' work for me..made me gag.. it was so dry it stuck in my throat..
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I was also one of those who experienced horrendous morning sickness thru out both pregnancies. GREEN APPLES (granny smith)... they are the best for it... could not stand crackers & the aftertaste, frozen lemonade, iced tea, bagels & cream cheese, ginger candies, toast (not bread, but toast... the toasted part has some kind of charcoal in it that eases nausea... so have toast w/cream cheese, jam, anything w/cheese for some reason.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ i also had the hell that was continuous nausea and vomiting for 9 months x2. all of the above were nice, but didn't actually take the nausea away. for me, the only thing that actually quelled the nausea was PROTEIN on an hourly basis - if i could choke it down. (of course, this was one of the foods that grossed me out the most.) a chicken breast, bacon, a nitrite free hot dog, actually bought me an hour or so of relief. all the other stuff like apples just added to the full time job of making sure i had enough heavier food in me. everyone's different, but if the other suggestions don't help, this could. (also - i carried a small bottle of peppermint oil to sniff whenever i went on the subway - to cover the countless nasty smells - like garlic - and avoid the humiliation of public vomiting.) BEST OF LUCK. you will get through this.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
keep saltines and ice/cold water next to your bed. as soon as you open your eyes in the AM, eat a few saltines and SIP (not gulp) SIP some water...do this for 20 min. slllloowwwllly getting up. continue eating saltines and sipping water/ginger tea all day! nap often. goood luck!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Powerade has the B vitamins wh help MS. Ayurveda, deepak chopra, says to eat every color of the rainbow each day. as crazy as it sounds it worked for me. I would think, Okay what color have I not had today? Red. Strawberries would actually taste okay.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I ate tons of rice with lemon squeezed on it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i had morning sickness really bad and my doctor had me take vitamin b and also half a unison tablet every night (dont get the gel pills they have a different ingredient). not only did it allow me to sleep well through the night but it actually decreases nausea significantly the next day. taking a benadryl everynight is supposed to do the same thing. they are both considered very safe. ask your doctor about it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]My MW said that prenatal vitamins can make it worse so just buy folic acid on its own and take that. I was able to resume the real vitamins at 12 weeks when I felt better. Constant crackers also helped, and so did distraction -- when I met a friend for dinner it was so much less noticeable than when I was at home thinking "do I want yogurt? ugh, no. do I want toast? no." At a restaurant/cafe I was distracted and could eat whatever.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Nothing worked for my 24/7 nausea. I boiled ginger and drank ginger water all day long and that didn't help. I finally got a prescription from my doctor, which helped a lot.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 09:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I felt terrible from week five on...until about eight months, sorry to say. I did find that cheese helped, and should have taken out stock in Preggie Drops. Get them at BRU or Destination Maternity. good luck - you do forget, once the babies arrive (I had twins).
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 01:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] 34 weeks pregnant. What's it going to take to get offered a seat on the 4/5 train?? 148 replies
- Maybe. The 4/5 is always packed in the morning during rush hour....
- their home, lost a loved one and are so in their own heads they are not paying attention to me. I'm pregnant, not sick and not disabled. Those people paid their fare like I did and it's not all about me. If I'm having a really...
Talk : : February 10, 2009
34 weeks pregnant. What's it going to take to get offered a seat on the 4/5 train??
148 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.10.09, 05:31 AM [ Flag ]Sit on someone's lap, preferably those young guys who lack manners.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I stopped taking the subway when very PG, not because I couldn't hack standing but because I became so filled with rage that nobody offered me a seat that I was a basket case by the time I got to work.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]This is how I'm getting. It has become almost like a social experiment. But by the time I get off the train, I'm also filled with rage and just generally hate everyone.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: Wait until you start pushing a stroller. That's about 200X worse. In the rare cases where the station has an elevator and it is actually working, a horde of able-bodied people will shove their way past you AND the guy on the wheelchair because they could not POSSIBLY walk 10 feet and then stand motionless on the escalator.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]This is the worst. I tried to get on a subway elevator one time with a stroller and people literally pushed their way past me and I couldn't get on. People who were very obviously able-bodied, not carrying large bags.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]and if you do get inside the folks not being able to get in because of the stroller become angry.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
LOL - I commute from LI with DD in stroller every day. You can't believe how many able bodied people push past me to get their fat asses into the elevator and leave me IN THE FREEZING COLD AND SNOW to wait outside for the next elevator!!! I get so angry! That said, I find that I'm almost always offered a seat on the subway, but almost never on the LIRR. I usually ask people to move becuase they are sitting in the handicapped seat and it's the only place to put the stroller. They usually give me dirty looks, but I just stare right back at them.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]people on the lirr are horrible with women and strollers.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]seriously. I hate living there.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
these people are invariably very overweight and lacking all class.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Don't get mad, just ask.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Wait until you are carrying your crying 2 year old!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]stop whining-you are not an invalid.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]oh so you are one of those nasties that sit your ass and don't mone for anyone?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^move
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]the very olf and infirm--whiny spoiled pregant women -no
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]never seen a pg woman get on whining but knowing the feeling of being pregnant and having your balance all off..and just the mere pain down there during 2nd trimester on...will make me offer my seat anytime to a pregnant woman or to a mom who is holding a child
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Me too. Would never remain seated if I saw a pg woman, an elderly person (I've pissed off an older person or two) or a little child. It is ridiculous.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
wow it sucks being you
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
An older, AA woman traveling to Brooklyn with a friend. By my calculations over two pregnancies with heavy 4/5 action, that is the demographic most likely to give you a seat.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^stay away from white guys in suites going to the Financial District or Midtown. You would have to crowbar them off of the seats for you.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]itta
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITTTTA! I actually had a little non scientific experiment in my last pregnancy and white guys aged 22-40 in suits NEVER gave up their seat. Ever. Only white guys in timberlands on their way to their construction job. Now, they would always offer their seat to me.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i did this too during my 1st pregnancy - it was so strange - i just thought of it as a huge social experiment. when i traveled to london during when i was 6 months pregnant i thought for sure there was going to be a difference. but i still found that women were more likely to give up their seats. interesting. luckily, during this pregnancy i rarely take the subway.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Also agreed 100% -- when I was pg with #1, never ever got a seat from a white dude in a suit. Never ever. Never even met my eyes, looked up, acknowledged a human in front of them. Women (of any age) very helpful, young men of color also helpful.... White guys esp. in business gear: THE WORST!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]totally agree. here and in Boston, same thing.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
or a young latino by himself.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think it is interesting that it is ALWAYS older people (50+) who offer a seat to me/dc when we are riding. The young (-40) sneer when we sit next to them. Manners are a thing of the past. Everyone is so selfish. (BTW: I always give up my seat when with out DC to older folks AND parents/children).
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]to me the worst were young white people. i've gotten seats (and stroller help) from young men of color quite often.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]"YOUNG MEN OF COLOR".............HOW 1950'S OF YOU
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Actually, that is the PC phrase of the moment.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: yes that's a correct statement..that covers the black and hispanic men that actually get up
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]and asian!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]never once did an asian man (on the M14..my bus) ever give me their seat..old or young
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: If you know what public transportation is like in Asia, that makes total sense.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
yes, black men and women, and hispanic men gave up their seats for me as far as I remember. also an elderly couple wouldn't take my seat when I offered it to them. young white men are a different story.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
"of color" is not a descriptor--
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I work at a nursing home and this resident's spouse (85 year old guy) referred to one of our staff as colored..I think he thought that was ok and respectful.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITA: As a general rule, I have always found young men of color very sweet and helpful with dc. The white folks are usually very rude (and have even complained/mean stare about dd's activity or tears on train)
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I am a young (late 20's) white female - I gave up my seat on the 4/5 for a dad with his two children the other day, he was so surprised! After I did it, the woman next to me got up for the other kid. Manners are not dead - keep doing the right thing and it will spread!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Funny. I'm 40 weeks now, have given this a fair amount of thought over the past few months. Some factors:
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry, hit return by mistake. so i think people are hesitant sometimes, esp. in winter when we're bundled up in heavy coats. is it a baby? is it a weight problem? people get paranoid about offending and find it easier to just look away. but if i need a seat, when i get on the train i do two things: make eye contact with someone who is already looking at me with the "is she pregnant" look, and keep one hand on my stomach. sounds silly, but it's a strong signal, and it works. someone gets up every time.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thank you! I'm usually on the lookout for pregnant women, but I am always worried that it is a weight thing with the winter coats. I was once offered a seat when I was a few months post partum - I took it out of embarrassment, I'm sure the woman thought I was pregnant... I like the hand on belly thing, I"m never sure with some women
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm a lily white man. (I could have played Powder's big brother...) I always offer but in truth I find that I rarely have a seat. It seems to me like most of the seats on the trains coming through Brooklyn are taken before they get to me. And not by white men. (With the exception of older Orthodox guys (if I am on the F train) and they don't get up for anyone. So what I do is I shame my fellow riders. If a preg woman gets on I'll ask if she needs a seat. I am amazed at how many people are reluctant to get up.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Totally agree.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why do Orthodox men never give up seats?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
That does not sound silly at all, and would be much appreciated. I am a white male. I always offer my seat to pregnant women if, and only if, I am sure they are pregnant, due to the huge embarassment to a non-pregnant woman of being offered a seat as if she were pregnant. A post down below commented that when she got huge the male/female imbalance of seat offerers started to even out. I think that's because other men have the same concern about embarassing a non-pregnant woman who looks pregnant. The hand on the stomach would completely clear that up.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you know, its not like you are yelling out "Hey fat pregnant lady!' when you offer a seat. you are still being nice by offering a seat to anyone. i've gotten seats when people thought i was pg (I assume), adn i don't take it as an insult. so err on the side of nice.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, I think it's (almost) exactly like you are yelling out "Hey fat pregnant lady!" when you offer a seat.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]the person who gets insulted because you are trying to be nice is the jerk in the situation.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]a woman who has had a hard time losing her pregnancy weight will likely be upset (not offended--very different thing) if perceived to be pregnant still...i know b/c my wife was not thrilled by the "oh, when are you due" comments that came 3,4,5,6 months post-partum...it's a delicate situation no matter how you slice it
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]If they get angry, yes. But they are likely to feel hurt or embarassed in such a situation. Or so I hear.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You know who gave her seat up for me? Another pregnant lady! And we were only a week apart in due dates. The Wall Streeters didn't give a budge.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I gave my seat up to an elderly man w/ a cane while hugely pregnant because no one else did -- both to shame the other riders and because he needed the seat more than I did. Everyone studiously ignored us.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I used to feel the same way they are even worse on the bus. When I was pg with #2 the only people that would offer a seat would be the older woman even some of the elderly. It was so embarrassing. I would never take it. Then everyone else would just look away and pretend they are not aware of what is going on around them....priceless
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I got on a bus once at 30+ weeks and the bus driver made an announcement that we wouldn't be moving until someone gave me a seat. People got up so fast I almost got knocked over.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think I read about this in the NYT Dear Diary...
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]great story...even better bus driver
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
nothing worse than woman who wear pregnancy like some moral highroad...........you chose to have a baby. if you cant get around stay home and stop walking down the center of the sidewalk with your montrous stroller while you are at it..
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Later in life I'll remind you that you chose to be old and frail and to get your damn walker out of my way if you're not going to die already.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what are you even doing on this board? go away? Its not about being pg its about the fact that there are very selfish people out there with limited manners
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]no--i see pregnant woman standing with pursed lips and major attitude..........i seldom see any woman of childbearing years giving your seats up for the elderly or even those of us with small children and i ride public transportation every day
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Most days
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i have totally given up my seat for someone who needed it - elderly, pregnant, woman with kids, etc. i hope that someone would do the same for me. last week taking a crosstown bus i got on the bus with my 3 year old daughter. i am almost 8 months pregnant and suffering from severe edema. i got a seat right behind the busdriver, and my daughter was seated right next to me. then there was a guy, and the two other people and then an empty seats (these were all the seats facing the aisle). a woman probably in her early to mid 70s got on and then was staring me down - i wasn't really paying attention, since i was paying attention to my daughter. when we got to a stop she yelled at me about moving my daughter to sit on my lap - she ended up taking that seat that was literally 4 seats away - not like in the back of the bus. why focus on me (pregnant) and my daughter, when there were 3 other people who could have moved, but it also wasn't like she couldn't walk just a few feet to get that seat. on the other side was a woman ina motorized scooter, who when she got off said to me in a strong british accent -"don't mind that woman. she's just a horrible old hag"
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np. That honestly made me LOL. Love the horrible old hag comment! LOL again.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
This kind of thinking brings the good old USA down the drain. I do believe in that what goes around, comes around. Maybe your time will come sooner when you'll have to use a walker or a wheelchair, and you have no choice but you'll have to do errands yourself. Then let's see how you'll be then when people won't do the right thing for you.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]the good old usa is already down the drain and partly reponsible are self righteous middle class baby factories whining about more G&T classes for their exceptionally gifted dc
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i hope someone stood up when your mother needed a seat.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]or by those people whose kids didn't make it to a G&T program
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You must have no idea of the risks/dangers of prolonged standing/walking by a pregnant woman.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Then dont have babies
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]oh you're right. people are going to stop having sex. good idea.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]TROLL
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
this is stupid.........i see you pretentious twits running and working out but you cant stand on the bus-get over yourself
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: don't bother and waste your time. She's nasty, rude and worst of all...miserable. You can't have a discussion with misery. They just love company
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i am just not a whiner and a complainer..................
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]there was nothing wrong with OP venting about the rudeness that ppl have when it comes to giving up a seat to someone who needs it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: I wonder if the miserable OR also thinks that the handicapped or very eldery wear their disablities "like a moral highroad"? It's an issue of basic courtesy, and, IME, people are even less courteous to the permanently disabled than they are to PG women.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
no, but you are a cunt
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what's worse is a judgmental hag who is so miserable in life that she can't even show courtesy to ppl who actually may need a seat. Do you kick the canes from under the elderly too?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I just had my 3rd dc and the only ppl who ever got up were the hispanic and black men. GOD FORBID if one of the wall st. suits would move. Their mommas really did a bad job in teaching them to be courteous or empathetic..they taught them to be pathetic
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Stop complaining
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm not complaining but speaking of my observation. The wall st. moms should be ashamed of themselves not teaching their kids to have manners
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
We take different trains. I rarely see those guys sitting.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I take buses and they push their asses in btwn tight spots or sit there with the legs wide open reading their paper or blackberry. NEVER GIVING UP A SEAT
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I see the complete opposite, but I ride the 6.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
wall streeters are the selfish assholes who just brought down the whole country. why would they be any different on the train on an individual level? they're useless human beings in my opinion. just take take take and give nothing back to society.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Wow, did you just get laid off from Wall Street or something? Talk about hateful.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Get a grip.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
is this mostly a problem on the east side trains, cuz I see people offer their seats all the time on my commute. I've had people offer their seat to me and I'm neither pregnant nor overweight
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]the east side trains are more crowded than most, which might contribute.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Maybe. The 4/5 is always packed in the morning during rush hour.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Warning - racial stereotypes follow. This is what I found - and before you judge I only took them up on the offer if I was in serious need of the seat. I ride the c train regularly. African American and Latino men would jump to offer me their seat as soon as I got on the train. It was almost like a race to see who could offer it to me first. AA women over 40 always. Nurses always (after a day on their feet I'm sure) White women on occasion but only after about 2 or 3 stops and if they were with a friend. White men - only if they were older and their wife nudged them. I knew that I would NEVER be offered a seat on the 2/3 line. If I took the F train to Brooklyn an asian or hasidic man would jump to sit in the seat that someone had just offered to me before I could sit down. Young girls never ever. It's funny - now my dh is always on the look out for pregnant ladies to offer his seat to.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: as a hispanic woman, I'm raising my 2 dd and 1 ds with manners. Whenever my 9yr old is sitting and we see someone who's pg, eldery, traveling with child, with a cane, ect, one of us will get up. If I'm holding my infant then my older daughter will get up. I don't even have to ask her to give up her seat..she just knows this is what we do
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]it's like you described my experience EXACTLY. However, I specifically remember 2 occasions where a "suit" offered me a seat - I wanted to shout my congratulations at them, it was such a rare occurrence. I actually kept a tally, men v women, women won hands down, but men did start catching up when I turned gigantic.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Asian men rarely gave me seats. Older black women always did. White men/women - no.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I totally agree with you! That was my experience as well. African American and Latino men always, followed by African American and Latino women over the age of 40. White women SOMETIMES, and I had a bit of luck with the Wall Street types, if you made eye contact. But I always ask someone for a seat if one wasn't offered. Or some old African American lady would ask for one on my behalf!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh my god that is the WORST. Just last week I (white female) got up to give my seat to a very pregnant woman. Before she could get into the seat, a 40-something white man whisked into it! I was nearly spitting with rage.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np. That happened to me 7 or 8 years ago. I stood up to give a woman my seat and this guy practically pushed her out of the way to jump into it first. I went so far as to say something to him, I was so angry. When I told him I was trying to give the seat to the pregnant woman he sort of shrugged and said, "Well, I'm getting off in a few stops," and kept right on sitting there. Pregnant lady and I just gave each other a look, like Oh.My.F'ing.GOD.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Why not just ask?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]stand near a latino man or a black woman.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]not if you're white.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
largely pregnant woman are just a danger to themselves and other people on the train--and I am speaking from experience--it is just better to get them seated--they are in the way and cumbersome. and when I was 36+ weeks pregnant--I had no business being on that subway
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have noticed (riding the subway through 3 pregnancies) that it's the working class (blue collar) men and the young females who are most likely to give up their seat. Try to stand in front of them in the train. Never had a suit-wearing, professional man given up a seat for me. it's so sad.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]A few weeks ago, I think I made the mistake of thinking that a fat lady was pregnant. When I offered her my seat, she looked startled and surprised. I'm pretty sure I made a mistake. Oh well!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Unfortunately, you may have to ask for the seat. Under NY State law, pregnancy is a disability and you are entitled to the seats for disabled people. The other thing you can do is unbutton your jacket and stick your belly out and sigh loudly and sway around like you can't keep your balance/having a hard time.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have raised my two AA young men to give up their seat to the elderly, disabled, pregnant women, and small children. Now they do it automatically without thought. But my oldest son was quite furious when he offered to help a White woman carry her baby stroller up stairs, I believe at 59th street wear the really long escalator had broken down, and she looked at him and grabbed her baby bag like he was about to rob her. He didn't touch her or anything. Just said, would you like some help? He simply, said sorry to bother you and walked away. I told him to brush it off as that was just one ass-hole, but I can see why a young Black man would not want to give up his seat or help a woman with a baby carriage for fear of an accusing stare or an actual accusation. He still offers his seat, but he does not offer help for carrying baby strollers.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]actual accusation. He still offers his seat, but he does not offer to help carry any baby strollers. It's too bad because he's tall, strong and very fit, and young. I've seen him carry those double strollers up stairs without breaking a sweat.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]your son sounds like the kind of nice kid that has helped me many times. so tell him thanks. and also that if I say no its not about him, really. its that i CAN handle it myself and i don't want to slow him down.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'll tell him that. He's cool with being told no. I actually amazed at home many women heft a big ol' stroller, bags, and kids up a couple of flights of stairs. LOL. But I think he was a bit hurt by this woman grabbing her bag and turning away. Usually he'd ignore something like this, but for some reason this incident really bothered him.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry, he's actually amazed...
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i don't blame him. its rude to not at least say no thanks. and the bag-grabbing is the kind of thing that is upsetting.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I would like to think that she is the exception
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's sad to see nice manners responded to with bad manners. What a b*tch. You sound like a great mom.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Years ago a male friend of mine told me that he won't help women with their strollers on the stairs because he's worried that he'll get sued if he slips. I still wonder if he's lazy or if he's right.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]He's lazy or paranoid, but definitely not right.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]that makes no sense. if he slipped on the subway because of water or something slippery on the steps carrying up a stroller for someone - he couldn't be sued - he could actually sue - since for instance it was water - then it should be wiped up. i take this just as an excuse to get out of helping
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
NP: Make an announcement that you're going to squirt amniotic fluid on everyone if someone doesn't get their skinny unpregnant butt out of a seat before teh train doors close.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]or colustrum - all i can picture is that woody allen movie with the giant breast squirting milk - could actually come in handy - threaten to squirt someone in the eye and get a seat
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
When I was pg, I stood over the people in the "disabled" seats and moaned. Worked every time.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Guy here. I'm a feminist and a staunch defender of women's choice. I feel I would be betraying my feminist sensibilities by offering a pregnant woman a seat. EMBRACE THE EQUALITY!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 03:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree. I see so many pregnant women take sooooooooooooooooo much pride and bragging rights in, oh I worked right up until my due date, or oh, I did my spinning classes well into my 9th month, or oh, I voted on the Senate floor even though my water broke early in the day. Make a lazy-chunky monkey-eating-sprawled out on the couch fat pregnant-ass like me feel like such a loser. So why can't you stand up on a bus or train for the duration to and from work? I'm 30 weeks and feel just awful standing on that 6th train and secretly pray someone offers me a seat. But if they don't, I suck it and hope I get lucky tomorrow.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 03:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You are not a feminist. A feminist offers seats to the pregnant regardless of gender.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]So if I offer my seat to an elderly person or a small child, that means I favor age-based discrimination? If I give it to a handicapped person, that means I think the ADA should be abolished? It couldn't *possibly* be as simple as me thinking that someone else, regardless of their age, race or gender, needs that seat more than I do?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
If eye contact didn't work, then I'd simply ask for a seat. I remember struggling to get on the subway with a toddler and a folded stroller and the person who helped me was a white woman. To this day I'm grateful and wonder if she was a fellow UBer.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 03:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]"Hi, I'm 8/9 months pregnant, would you mind if I had that seat?" (smile and address to an able-bodied man. They will not say no)
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think this would help the situation. Sometimes people are either zoned out with their iPod, or worried about asking a non-pg woman and offending her... Being direct can't hurt!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]or: after getting mad a lot when preg with #1 I starting doing this (and continued when preg with #2 and #3). It worked. DH called it "ballsy", but who cares!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm a guy, and I've said no.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I needed the seat more than she did.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
This is what you have to do. People are brain dead or are worried about offending you. BTW I get up for pretty much anyone who looks like they need the seat more than I do. I'm happy that I'm strong and healthy ( and generally wear flat shoes ; )
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I used to ride the 1/9 regularly. Gotta tell you, the A/B/C/D/F trains are so much more humane. Dd is almost ALWAYS offered a seat on a crowded train.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How about other crowded places/long lines? I have been to the post office on a few occasions since I've been 8/9 months pregnant and stood on line for over 30 minutes. People around me stare at my belly and look right at me, but no one has ever offered to let me go ahead of them. The best was yesterday when it was so hot in there I thought I was going to pass out. I was making lots of noises, taking my coat off, dropping my bags on the floor, dramatically drinking my water and nothing. I think the subway isn't nearly as bad as standing still on a line. At least there is something to hold on to or lean against or an alternative to the subway. Unfortunatley, I can't go pick up those annoying packages anyplace else. Has anyone else had this experience?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wow, I never would have considered that someone should let me go ahead in a PO line, but I always ask for a subway seat
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh please. Drama Queen up there just needs to get over herself.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
shop locally
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITA. When I was pregnant, I was never offered a seat on the subway. Ever. I particularly remember two young guys lounging on their seats at rush hour, looking at me with interest. I was close to my due date, and they probably had a bet to see if I would topple over...
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You should have purposely fell on top of them and sprawled out. LOL. Fine, if you don't give me a seat. But don't make fun of me because I'm the size of Barnie the Purple Dinosaur.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i would always find a young white woman to stand in front of on the 4/5 when i was preggers. worked every time. but often there would be a row of mid aged black women (caribbean, i think) and none would get up for me, even at 39 wks. I used to picture them on their way to nanny jobs on the UES and hating the sight of me.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^oh and when i broke my arm white men would jump to give me their seats, even though i didn't need to sit. when pregnant, never ever ever. shows what self-serving dicks men can be.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Or conversely, what duplicitous and entitled bitches pregnant women can be.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]True dat. I just don't assume someone is rude or lazy because they didn't give up there seat for my fat pregnant ass. Maybe they worked a 16 hour day when I only worked 8. Maybe they are ill but it doesn't show like my pregnant belly. Maybe they just got laid off, lost their home, lost a loved one and are so in their own heads they are not paying attention to me. I'm pregnant, not sick and not disabled. Those people paid their fare like I did and it's not all about me. If I'm having a really bad day and feel like I won't get a seat on the train, I wait it out at work until the rush hour time passes or I take a taxi.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 03:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
How is giving up a seat to a woman with a broken arm self-serving and dickish?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 10:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I guess I'm the exception. When I was pregnant people on the subway and bus offered me seats all the time. Men, women, old, young, every color and ethnicity, you name it. I remember thinking how nice people were. Now I'm wondering if I looked especially haggard and miserable or something?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I also got offered seats by all types. Maybe just don't "expect" a seat, but be aware of the whole car and go stand near someone who seems to be looking at you, who is likely to give up their seat. good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]This would never happen in the south....any man or woman, of any color, would give their seat up for a pregnant woman or an elderly person. They would also open the door for the pregnant,the elderly, or women, wait at the elevator until all those I just mentioned were in or off, assist up stairs or curbs, help cross the street, etc....this is why people have the idea that Northerners are rude. I think it isn't rudeness, just poor upbringing. Sigh...
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 03:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]hhhhhhhhhhhh
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 03:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Just me on this morning 1 reply
- I wish it were faster here. I've been on YBM, but it's all the things I didn't like about the old UB--crazy trolls, truly sick and nasty name calling, blech...
Talk : : August 16, 2008
-
I wish it were faster here. I've been on YBM, but it's all the things I didn't like about the old UB--crazy trolls, truly sick and nasty name calling, blech
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 05:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] anyone have morning sickness INTESIFY in week 11, 12? Help. Please tell me it still d... 15 replies
- It might. I was sick until the end of the 2nd trimester, but most people feel better after 3 mos. Candied ginger & ginger tea (made from ginger root)...
- when does morning sickness start? Still no signs here...
Talk : : August 15, 2008
anyone have morning sickness INTESIFY in week 11, 12? Help. Please tell me it still died down at week 14. I can't keep running around the city -- and the ladies room at work -- puking!
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.15.08, 01:25 PM [ Flag ]It might. I was sick until the end of the 2nd trimester, but most people feel better after 3 mos. Candied ginger & ginger tea (made from ginger root) really helped me.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Op: i bought candied ginger and then left it at home. *sigh* please let this END. I almost had to bolt out of a meeting today -- what would i have told people> they'd think I'm nuts! havent announced yet. waiting for tests.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I puked in the same garbage can on my way to work almost every morning. People started figuring out that I was pg when I ran out of a conference room practically mid-sentence b/c I was going to puke. The worst was that I had to travel around Asia for three weeks, so I was puking in airports, taxis.. thank goodness they served rice with every meal as that's all I could eat! GL!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
when does morning sickness start? Still no signs here...
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP:; not till week 8-9 for me.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm only six weeks...and worried. Good luck to you!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]never did for me 2 pregnancies
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Never did start for me (twice) GL you might be one of the lucky ones!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
With my second preg I puked till the very end, even in the delivery room. Good luck.....
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP; this is m y second and your post is notmaking me happy
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^how on earth did you FUNCTION???
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i think mine was pretty bad around then and then practically disappeared around week 15 - GL that sounds terrible - i would gag all the time, but only threw up when I walked into my apartment. Literally when I walked in i would puke on the floor - the smell bothered me for some reason. No one else noticed it but me!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: yes the various smells are killing me, and dh doesn't believe that they are there!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]so bizarre how that happens - its like we have the most intensified sense of smell for a short period of time. nyc street smells almost did me in too (dog piss, garbage, etc)- sorry, that is probably not helping right now!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 02:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
From week 6-week 12 I was constantly nauseated. Then, for about two weeks, the neasuea eased up a little, but I began vomiting everyday, where I had previously kept my food down. So it seemed to get worse for me before it got better. But once I was far into the 4th month, it went away and I began eating anything I could get my hands on...
[ Reply | Options ]11.19.08, 10:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Neighbor's dd was pracing around the lobby of our apt. bldg. yesterday in her school ... 103 replies
- OP back to say THANKS for your sugesstions a for not attacking me. It's been a rough year and I am still worried sick about school even though I know that the reality is dd will be just fine....
- Or uniform=easy mornings and lack of fashion show...
Talk : : August 15, 2008
Neighbor's dd was pracing around the lobby of our apt. bldg. yesterday in her school inform. She and my dd are staring K. We were shut out. They are headed to TT ss school. So silly I know but it really hit me in the gut to see the child and my dd kept asking why she couldn't have a uniform for school too.
103 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.15.08, 06:31 AM [ Flag ]ooops. UNIFORM^
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm sorry to hear that. I would explain that there are different schools for different children's styles. Some schools have uniforms so that children don't have to choose. And some schools want children to have the freedom to choose independently. I am sure there are other ways you can explain it without being like others on this board yesterday, making it seem as if it were the child or parent's fault.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:39 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np LOL. That's the most stupid thing I've every heard--OP should tell her kid she's superior to kid going to tt.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Way too involved of explanation. OP should just tell her some schools have uniforms but hers does not, and take her DD to pick some school clothes.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Tell her that's because she will get to choose her own style and express her likes and dislikes with her clothing. Go with her to a cheap store and let her pick out an outfit for the first day. Uniform = Rigid uniformity. Ick
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:41 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Joke's on me, one year when my girl went shopping for a first day outfit she picked stuff out of the uniform section at the Children's Place. We're public school all the way and live in a neighborhood where I'm pretty sure the only uniforms she saw were the local Catholic school kids. When I explained that these were uniforms, she didn't care. She's a conservative kid and wanted to wear a navy blue jumper and white blouse. She looked great but it was comical to see her every time she wore it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Or uniform=easy mornings and lack of fashion show
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Or, as I understand it, a much more subtle system of coding for status and wealth (shoes, jewelry, bag, hair ornaments etc...) How the hell are girls supposed to play normally wearing skirts?? The gender stereotyping gets a big assist there.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You're funny. My dc wears bike shorts (short ones) under her uniform. In winter term, the uniform is leggings underneath. My dd is in lower school and most of the kids wear sneakers (which the school encourages), but the upper school girls also tend to wear sneakers or scuffed ballet flats. Jewellery (beyond small earrings) isn't allowed. Hair ornaments as status symbols is a new one to me, and most of these look like they came from Claire's (unless they're the ones sold by PA). As for bags, they tend to be school or LL Bean backpacks. Tt ss, by the way. Sorry to disappoint you.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^^Oh, and my dd wears a dress nearly every day on summer vacation and has no trouble playing.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np. ITA. The LS girls at all the schools wear shorts under their uniforms, or leggings when it's cold. The MS girls I know do, too. The skirts fall right above the knee and are full enough so they have no trouble jumping and running around to play. My dd has a harder time when she's wearing jeans, actually.
[ Reply | Options ]08.24.08, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yes - shoes, bags, jewelry, coats are all about the fashion show in middle school years and up.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]My kid does it all the time. And it was not my call, but hers. She likes to wear dresses, not necessarily skirts. No momma encouraged directly or indirectly gender stereotyping in our house.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 04:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
OP back to say THANKS for your sugesstions a for not attacking me. It's been a rough year and I am still worried sick about school even though I know that the reality is dd will be just fine.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know so many kids SO and in PS. They love it. They make new friends. They fit in. They have no clue what happened or how the parents feel. It's only when the parents' anxieties brush off.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We have been really careful not to show our feelings. yesterday just really got to me. It was so in your face and the mom was so clearly proud and wanting everyone to know. She practically had orgasms when a few older neighbors asked what the uniform was for.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:54 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np: It's just her excitement, which is totally natural. It's just a shame that you had to witness it. You're both "right." She is entitled to be excited about the upcoming school year, and you're entitled to feel the way you do too.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Holy shit, you're bitter. Wow. I do think it's weird kid was in hall in uniform, though.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Grow up, will you? For goodness sake.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I admit OP sounds kind of sad and maybe a bit pathetic but the mom with the kid wearing the uniform sounds like a total bitch
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What? If the kid wants to wear her new uniform for fun let her be. They are five year olds and the uniform does not mean more to them but just another costume.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:58 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Must have been your DD in th lobby! haha.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Uh, no. I wish I lived in such a building but no. I don't care much for private schools or uniforms. If my kid wants to wear one for fun I let her.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Which school has the girls in the ridiculous outfits with the red gingham pinafore? My kids and I laugh so hard when we see them. We call them the Danish school girls.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sacred Heart. My dd thinks they're awful.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I just think they're so damn funny. I cannot imagine liking a school enough to have my daughter dress up like an American Girl doll to attend.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]There are American Girl versions of some of the girls' schools' uniforms. Not CSH's though.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]vomit...just when I thought I could not be more disgusted by people who spend more on a doll than some families have for a week of groceries.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np My friend's dd goes to CSH and I'm sure she told me she bought her an AG doll uniform. My dd's school sells them, too. I think most do. People (like nasty grocery poster below) forget that these are fundraisers for the PA--our PA pays for FA families to attend school events and parties for which a fee is charged, by the way.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm nasty for pointing out that the amount you spent on that doll could have made a big difference for another family? It doesn't disgust you to think of little girls carrying around $100 trophies and buying more and more crap for them?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:15 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I donate my time (volunteer at a homeless shelter) and my money. And I buy 20 holiday gifts annually for poor kids. No problem with my dd having an AG doll (she has ONE, not six) and a few (3 dresses--one a school uniform) outfits. I don't buy all the accessories junk, mainly because I know it will break or end up as clutter. Have no moral objection to it if others choose to spend *their* money on it. Until you give every penny of your discretionary income to charity, you really don't get to bitch about what others do (I mean, why do you have cable or mag subscriptions? That money could be given away. Do you drink coffee or alcohol or soda? Ditto. Hardly necessary for your survival--and they add up to several hundred $ over the course of a year.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]$100 doll for child. No excuse
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]then you don't have to buy one for your dd. channel your outrage somewhere useful.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]man, every time I come back to this board I end up so nauseated
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]the beauty is that you are free to go somewhere that makes you feel all happy and proud and where every woman agrees with your views.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:47 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]np Yes. I suggest: http://www.cpusa.org/
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Bet you buy/do a lot of stuff with YOUR money that I wouldn't choose to do. But that's your business.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:46 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Yeah, like paying my mortgage and medical bills.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why do you own a home? You could rent, you know, and give all the money you have tied up it equity to the poor. You're pretty selfish.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, I have left it to CPUSA in my will, but you may have a point. Owning a home does not compare to spending obscenely on a toy. Try again.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If that home is in Manhattan and costs more than the "average" American home, it damn well does compare, actually.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Nope. Outer borough.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, guess it's time to move somewhere cheap so that you can give away all your disposable income. Seriously, it's STILL expensive to live where you do, yet you "selfishly" choose to do this--while poor families could use your money. You don't get to choose (or judge--unless it's illegal) what I do with my money, and I don't get to choose what you do.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My dear, I may judge your actions as much as I care to. But what most amuse me is your astonishing defensiveness about these matters. Why can't you just own up to overspending on a toy?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sweet pea, you are a crazed leftie.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]and proud of it!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:45 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Last time I checked there were no rules making this a private-school-only board. Is it also restricted?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
That's 2wice in one hour- that you've volunteered the fact- that you volunteer at a homeless shelter. What's the significance here? You actually count the holiday gifts you buy for 'poor' kids? Of course, how else could you keep track of the tax deductions? Have you ever bought an AG doll for one of the 'poor' kids?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]right between the eyes (where the Botox goes)
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Who makes these American Girl version uniforms? How much profit can the PA make?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:27 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]They're between $35 and $40 each and the wholesale is likely about half of that (as is the case with most retail goods). Add to that all the sales of tote bags, back packs, t-shirts, baseball caps and on and on and this logo stuff makes a lot of money for schools.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Out of curiosity, do you really not see the cognitive dissonance of buying American Girl doll outfits in order to help financial aid girls? And even if it's not quite cognitive dissonance, it's still so blatant of what I thought private schools were trying to change in their image and reputation.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:08 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Exactly why I was puking above. Noblesse oblige is alive and well on the upper east side. As if the rest of your donating makes this any less icky.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't even mind that this goes on (in a way) but the fact that people don't see it? Don't acknowledge it? That is weird to me.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Remarkably little insight in certain segments of this community. We just don't join in but the self-righteous purchaser justifying herself on the basis of some thinly-veiled competitive greed masked as condescending charitable purpose is irksome to me.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OK. So your kids clearly don't go to private schools (given that you're soooooooo morally superior to every single family on the UES), so why bother posting here? How's that canonization coming along?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Last time I checked there were no rules making this a private-school-only board. Is it also restricted?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
NP: Oh please. You don't like private schools, and you don't like American Girl, and therefore you want to make this into some kind of grand social issue. But, reallly, it's just a lady buying her kid a doll (which her kid, just like kids throughout history, will like because it looks like her) and making a donation to the kid's school in the process. Is that really such an awful thing?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]concise and well put. thank you.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Actually, some very sad research shows that despite all these years of effort at correction, black children still prefer white dolls - identifying black dolls as 'bad', and 'ugly'. Dolls mean much more than you may realize. An obscenely expensive doll sends a big message to your child and your community. Own it!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]LMAO! THERE *ARE* AA AG DOLLS, you lunatic. And I've seen BOTH AA *and* (yes, and) white girls with them!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]But no jews...
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]So that negates the research?
[ Reply | Options ]08.24.08, 08:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Please. FA is, by definition, "noblesse oblige". And you know it. What this has to do with American Girl uniforms is beyond me (the reference to the PA giving tickets to events to FA families with some of the proceeds was made to address the comments about groceries and poor families)
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The point is that these things are sold as a fundraiser and that, yes, FA families sometimes benefit from the sale of these things. The money also buys AV equipment and other needed items--which benefit ALL students. You're making an awfully big deal out of tiny little uniforms for a damned doll.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Just say "Yes, it's weird that we sell $$ outfits for $100 dolls in order to benefit kids who can't afford those dolls. But my dd loves her doll and wants the doll to look like her and we can easily afford it."
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you can't own it then...
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]There are plenty of AG-like dolls that don't cost anywhere near $100. My dd has a doll that looks almost just like the AG dolls and was made in the same german factory they were before Mattel bought them and started making them in china. She costes $35.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
NP: In the world outside of the UES, people sell hoagies, frozen pizza, Yankee candles, M&Ms and all sorts of other crap that people don't need to raise $$ for schools and activities. I don't see the big moral distinction between that and the American Girl outfit.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]The issue was with buying the doll at all. It's disgusting overconsumption. But actually, tracking back, the issue was with dressing your child up like a doll and prancing her around the lobby. Hand in hand. Hand in hand.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np-How does the amount paid for the doll make it overconsumption?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Are you crazy? The resources used to pay for such a toy are out of proportion to the amount it is appropriate to spend on a plaything.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think you're the one that's crazy if you think it's your place to decide how anyone else decides to spend their money.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]How about video games? Dime a dozen?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
www.commercialfreechildhood.org
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
In the world inside the UES, the sales of these outfits & caps, etc. make so little money in comparison to the annual fund drive, auction and development fund. It's about fun & school pride which is absolutely, totally fine. But don't say that it's about raising money for financial aid.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]And speaking of auction here's another thing I always wondered about - why do private schools charge so much for their tickets? Why not charge $25 or 30 a head instead of $150 a head? That way more people can afford to go and not have to ask for financial aid on these tickets too.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Those events are fundraisers. If they charge $25 a ticket, they're not covering costs. Plenty of people (including those who can afford it) don't go. Not a necessity of school life. And remember: PAs pay for tickets for skating parties and Halloween parties and those sorts of things that ARE a part of school life. Ultimately, though, if an event is about raising money for a school, it's silly to sell the tickets for too little to cover costs.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
No one said it's raising money for FA (read the posts). The monies raised often help pay for tickets to school events for which there's a fee.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ccfc@jbcc.harvard.edu
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]www.commercialfreechildhood.org
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
B/S/C? I'm thinking B.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP here. It was not Spence is all I feel comfortable saying
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Still think it's B.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ];)
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I am very sensitive to your issues while I do not have an allergic child myself. However, the severity of some allergies os so great that I wonder how parents in good conscience can allow their children to attend a school that isn't focusing on these situations. We have a young girl in our school who is so allergic to dairy, eggs, and nuts that while holding the hand of a child who an hour earlier had eaten cheese doritos she required medical attention. What are we - as the other parents - to do ? It seems like a time bomb ?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ Wow, I am in idiot... posted to the wrong thing !! Sorry...
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Feel free to flame, my daughter and I make her dolls together. Not only that, her brother made one too for himself. Gotta love a sock monkey.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Does the sock monkey have a uniform that matches your dcs?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sock monkey goes nekkid, which son has ceased to do outside his own room (being 11 and all...). However, sock monkey's flesh is a lovely blue argyle, which would doubtless be welcome anywhere. We are PS folks though, and happy to live a uniform-free lifestyle.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Seems to me here that the disappointment for your dd is NOT that she is not going to a TT but that she does not have a school uniform. Go to Children's Place or LandsEnd online and get her a navy jumper or a plaid jumper or whatever and
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 04:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LMAO. You funny, lady.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 04:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I did not mean it to be very, but if you did, ok. I totally understand how the mom feels after getting SO of private school and it is better that she feel the disappointment if one must feel it, than her daughter. But, the upset in this instance is that her daughter wanted to have a school uniform....and in this instance, problem solved. Wear one every day! Save a fortune on overpriced clothes for kids!! (Coming from a mom with a ds that LOVES clothes!!)
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITA! My dd is going to her zoned ps and her friends going to privates have been ooohing and ahhing over her uniform for weeks. Every playdate they ask to see it. And yes she did get the matching uniform for her AG knock-off doll.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 04:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
1 - Sorry your child was shut out. But every child I know entering K is wearing their uniform around because they haven't worn one before and this is exciting. It's not about you or your daughter. To see it that way is to make yourself and your child into a victim. Stop it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OMG. They are dolls. If you have the money, and your dd likes these dolls and uniforms go for it. There are some people on here who are just NO fun at all!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm definitely not fun. www.commercialfreechildhood.org
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]me neither. not as it's defined in the "world inside the UES" that is cited by a poster above. The gingham pinafores make me chortle and the AG dolls make me retch. No fun at all.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOTS of girls on FA at CSH, fwiw.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]chortling at the clownish getup, not their socioeconomic status
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Gloating about laughing at a child...how sad.
[ Reply | Options ]08.24.08, 10:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]the costume, not the wearer. It's not her fault her mommy dresses her funny.
[ Reply | Options ]08.24.08, 10:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Even sadder than I thought.
[ Reply | Options ]08.24.08, 11:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Pregnant and have really been suffering from morning sickness for past six weeks. It... 2 replies
Talk : : August 14, 2008
Pregnant and have really been suffering from morning sickness for past six weeks. It just occurred to me that I must have cheesecake, preferably oreo cheesecake, tonight. Any suggestions where I might find a good one around Gramercy/Flatiron/Union Square?
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.14.08, 02:31 PM [ Flag ]eileen's in soho is good. maybe just run over to whole foods?
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 02:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks!
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 02:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I've posted before about my dh and his father who is very ill. DH finally went to a ... 3 replies
- his discomfort with the process. that being said, it usually takes a few times to get used to it if he has never been. its a good sign that he is still going. i would let his therapy be his territory for now, as someone with a sick parent who has been in therapy for a while. its a nice, safe place to have for yourself....
Talk : : August 14, 2008
I've posted before about my dh and his father who is very ill. DH finally went to a therapist yesterday (made the appt himself even!), but was not very pleased with his session, and said that he "felt the therapist was not smart", and wasn't very helpful. He is going to go again (I reminded him that usually the first sessions all you do is talk and the therapist listens), but he seems so down on the whole thing. He says he is doing it for me, so he has another outlet for his frustration and stress, but yet again, this morning, he blew up at me about things. Do you think I should try to get him to go to see a therapist WITH me? Any BTDT advice?
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.14.08, 08:58 AM [ Flag ]men value different things in therapy, mainly intelligence. but the main thing i noticed was that "he is doing it for you" which is a problem if that is true, and he's not saying that as a way to disguise his discomfort with the process. that being said, it usually takes a few times to get used to it if he has never been. its a good sign that he is still going. i would let his therapy be his territory for now, as someone with a sick parent who has been in therapy for a while. its a nice, safe place to have for yourself.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks for responding. He is doing it in part "for me" because he takes his frustrations out on me rather than healthy outlets, and doesn't really have anyone else to talk to about the stress he is having, so he decided to go to therapy so he would have another place to talk. I agree that it takes time to get used to it (but he has been before) - but I just wonder if it might be more beneficial for us to do counseling together... I am really worried that our marriage is in trouble, because of all the stress he is under, and basically our entire lives revolve around him and his father
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 09:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]then i think you may be right to try marriage counseling. has he tried any support groups for caregivers? i know they have them for certain diseases, it might be a good way for him to meet people in the same boat he can talk to. i presume too that you have children, how is it affecting them?
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 09:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Major morning sickness, second DB. I can't remember what I did last time. Anyone have...
Talk : : August 14, 2008
[+] So I will never talk to my sister again. She's CRAZY. We're visiting mom. I have two ... 43 replies
- right with me these days. I'm sure you didn't really mean it, though. I'd maybe talk to her in the morning and discuss. Maybe you guys should not stay together in the same house if she is very sensitive about her bedtime....
- never talking again). She thinks I 'physically assaulted her' and she wanted to call the cops. She's crazy. I have been sick of her for a long time. Just yesterday, I was telling my husband that I don't even like her....
Talk : : August 13, 2008
So I will never talk to my sister again. She's CRAZY. We're visiting mom. I have two boys, 6 and 2 and they were in bed and giggling. My sister comes out and tells tehm to be quiet as she's reading. Then, 5 minutes later she comes again to them (I was down the hall in another room, and knew that it takes 20 minutes or so for the boys to settle down). And then she yells to me something to the effect of "if you can't control your kids, i will." and then she's getting really pissed in general, saying that they're giving her a migraine and that they better learn how to listen to their mother. (i had asked them to be quiet a few times, but knew it would take a few minutes). So I come out of my room and say "it takes them some time" and she's like "
43 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.13.08, 05:57 PM [ Flag ]sorry not done...hit enter..she's like you don't own this house, and your kids are totally noisy, and they were watching a dvd and disturbing everyone (there's only one tv in the house, and they watched backyardigans for 30 minutes before bed) and I want them to be fucking quiet." and I am like "please don't talk that way in front of my kids" and I ask her to go into her room and i would follow her there. "she's like this isn't your house I don't have to go in my room..and so i grabbed her arm and she pushed back and she's screaming "YOUR KidS are out of control and so are you!!" and she's cursing and I am like "you don't have kids, please don't tell me how to raise them..and on and on..and so I (unfortunately) got phsycical wiht her, trying to get her away from the kids (when I should have just grabbed the kids and removed them from the situation) and she ended up with a scratch, so now the whole thing is "my fault" and she keeps screaming about how I 'take over' the house when we're out visting mom. I will never talk to her again. Oh, and I went by her room to apologize for getting physical, and she's like "whatever, get the F out."
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I can't believe I just read all that
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ng to get her away from the kids, when i should have just removed my kids from the environment. I mean, she's a VERY volatile person, one minute she's wonderful, buying me gifts, buying me lunch, and the next minute she wants what she wants THAT SECOND. Anyway, I am never talking to her again. This has been a long time coming. I won't miss her. She cansee my kids if she wants (like take them to the park) because i know in small doses she's good with them, bu tthat's it. And no, she doesn't have kids and she's 43.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Disrespecting her feelings by saying, "you don't have kids," is not really helpful.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i think this got way beyond disrespecting feelings.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Well, if she doesn't have kids, and hasn't been around them much, then she probably just doesn't understand. I think it's a little extreme to say you'll never talk to her again. Then again, I just lost my father and we didn't talk for a good long time (though we did in the past several years), so saying that doesn't sit right with me these days. I'm sure you didn't really mean it, though. I'd maybe talk to her in the morning and discuss. Maybe you guys should not stay together in the same house if she is very sensitive about her bedtime.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sounds like she has serious jelously issues with you having kids.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA. But it doesn't sound like she's going to have them anyway. She's 45, you said?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
oh, you'd be surprised (about never talking again). She thinks I 'physically assaulted her' and she wanted to call the cops. She's crazy. I have been sick of her for a long time. Just yesterday, I was telling my husband that I don't even like her.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yea, but when i am in CT visting my mom and she's there, what then? she thinks me and the kids "take over" the house. Anyway, I really don't plan on talking to her again. She's done it to me, over something quite minor. She didn't talk to me for 2 years.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: this sounds like it's really not about the kids at all. Sounds like you and she just don't have a good relaitonship. Did you ever?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you know, maybe when we were little kids. but we've never really had a great relationship. she is very holier than though, and i hate it. she's hot and cold with her moods, and it's terrible to be around. she's narcissistic and does good only to repay her 'karmic debt'. really.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's too bad. and what do you think she thinks of you? Seriously? Do you think she feels this negatively towards you too?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, I think she thinks i am self-involved, ungrateful and that I use my kids to control others. I am self-involved, around my family, in the way that many mothers are. I am not ungrateful, at least not the way she thinks. But in the end, i think we're too different to really be close. I simply don't like her. There, I said it. It's sad but true. I would nEVER want anything bad to happen to her. I do NOT hate her. But i cant be around her anymore. My family is quite messed up overall LOL.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you know it's funny. yesterday she INSISTED on treating me to a facial; and i relly didn't want to take it, but as she booked it with an hour to spare, she said it couldn't be cancelled. i insisted on paying, and she wouldn't let me "can't you accept a gift//" because all along I knew it was a ruse to build up points against me, so that if osmething down the line went wrong she could say "you're so ungrateful, i bought you that facial!!!" i absolutely hate it, and I shouldn't have gone, but she would have flipped out.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Uh, yeah. You two have issues. Your sis paid for a facial, and you think it was "a ruse to build up points against [you]"? Wow. That's very paranoid.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]not if you knew our relationship for 20 years, when each time she's done somthing for me, it has 'come back round' in some form in an argument..how 'ungrateful' i am...etc etc. I said thank you so much, you shouldn't have done this, but that's not enough.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: are you ungrateful. You sound kind of entitled, like the whol house has to adjust and deal bc you have kids...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^ that first senence was a question - are you ungrateful?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]not really. the kids are at camp until 3 each day, so they're not really around.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op here: no.I'd really like her to NOT buy me things. It drives me crazy, and i've told her I don't like it. It leads me to feel 'indebted' to her (we both feel this way when our mom buys us things) and i'd rather avoid that in our relationship. Really, i think it comes down to the fact that i just don'[t like her personality, and I don't like receiving gifts from people i don't like.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Well, it sounds like you know what you need to do, which is to pull away from her. The only thing I would try to suggest is to realize that it is hard for childless people when they feel like children dominate the discourse, activities, etc....but I don't think that's an excuse for her behavior, just a suggestion for you tring to see more of her perspective. Doesn't seem like the relationship is healthy for either of you. Take care.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
well then you need to be like my mom and her sil. My mother will walk out of the room when my Aunt enters the room. If Aunt tries to generate conversation, my mom will have one word answers. If my aunt comes over to my grandmother's house when my parents are visiting, my mother usually leaves. If you don't want to talk to her, and don't want to deal to her craziness - be as cool as a cucumber and avoid her. It can be done.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]this is my plan exactly. i am done. her moods, her volatility, her escalation. done.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think she may not have perspective on children, sounds like she doesn't. But does she have any reason to explode like she did? Any truth to what she said. Seems like she was boiling and boiled over on this one occasion. I would let is pass and talk about it in a week...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she ALWAYS boils over..it's always like 'one thing' that pushes her. If i am in my mom's home with my kids, and they're being themselves--not bad, but giggly at bedtime, what then? Should I duct tape their mouths? I think not. But she doesn't understand that you can't control kids. We dont' like each other anyway.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't see a single instance where OP *didn't* think she was totally in the right and that perhaps her sister had a point. I mean, it sounds like she thinks everyone should just work around her kids at all times and not complain. It sounds to me like maybe she is like that all the time, and her sister is just tired of it. Maybe this was just the last straw and she overreacted.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR - yeah, that's what I was wondering. There are always 2 sides to every story, especially here, and I am leery of people who deny ANY accountability in a conflict.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]oh, i am accountable, for getting physical. But if the kids were giggling in bed for 15 minutes (it was 8:15, they were in bed for 15 minutes) then what reason is there to explode on them. Here's the reason: she cna't take being around kids for long periods of time. At first, she's great. But as the days pass, she gets more and more annoyed with their playing, their loud noises, their giggling, the shows they watch. She's been at my mom's with us for 5 days, and i think the sh%t just hit the fan finally.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Okay, so she got fed up with your kids. I get fed up with other people's kids, too, after 5 days. For your part, you shouldn't have made it sound like just because "she doesn't have kids" she has no say because she's "telling you how to raise them." IMO, you should have apologized for them, said to them again, loudly, "be quiet; Aunt Sarah is trying to relax, and if you are going to be loud, you aren't going to get ice cream tomorrow (or whatever)." That probably would have neutralized her. But instead, you basically just told her that she could stick it, failed to recognize her side, and then when she got upset, said she doesn't have kids and doesn't know squat. She might have overreacted, but if it's been going on 5 days, it doesn't mean she's crazy.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^sound all that crazy.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree. And she is the one who escalated this to violence! Violence.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what is a 45 year old women doing still living with her mother is my question!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]we;re vistiting for the week. My mom's house is in CT and me and the boys came out, and so did my sister.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
honestly, I think is beyond an over reaction for normal bedtime antics for a 6yo and a 2yo. The sister sounds like a bitterly angry woman.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes. But I sorely regret getting physical with her and pushing her down the hallway. Now she feels vindicated, and like she was wronged 100%. That was stupid of me. But this weird mother bear instinct came out, and I couldn't bear my children to hear her talking about them that way ("your kids don't know how to listen", "I know plenty of kids who respect those around them, and yours dont' that sort of thing)
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]And you didn't want to admit that your kids did anything wrong. And when she pointed it out, you pushed her and assaulted her. I don't think she's entirely in the wrong, and the pushing part was neither justified nor the only thing you did (or didn't do) to contribute to the situation, it sounds like.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]pushing her was absolutely wrong. but my kids did nothing wrong; and to shout that they're out of control wasn't right.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You can't understand that other people don't want to hear your kids yammering at bedtime or that maybe putting up with your kids for 5 days straight might wear on someone's nerves? You might have made some attempt to quiet them down rather than putting it right back on your sister that her inexperience with children is the problem.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: Exactly! There were alternative ways to handle this but the OP seems only to be willing to defend her course of action, rather than to see others...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITA. But I don't think OP is going to see this...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i dont' think her kids did anything wrong. Giggling for 15 minutes in bed? That doesn't really warrant being yelled at and called 'out of control'. But then again, i think it's hard for siblings with kids to hang out with siblings without kids, in general.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]8 isn't "bedtime" for most adults. And the sister acted like a child herself. I don't defend the pushing, but I can understand it. I mean these aren't strangers or friends, this is family. Don't visit with family if you can't handle that families sometimes come with loud kids. And while there is little excuse for OP's behavior, there is really almost none for the sister's. Eh..the more I think about it, oil and water. Two difficult personalities...stick with XMAS cards.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] How did/do you generally deal with friends with fertility issues, i.e. they can't hav... 4 replies
- I think just be respectful and listen and ask how they are doing and don't be one of those crazy women who complains about morning sickness if you have a friend who is dying to be pg....
Talk : : August 13, 2008
How did/do you generally deal with friends with fertility issues, i.e. they can't have kids or are have been TTC for a long time.
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.13.08, 12:41 PM [ Flag ]With sensitivity. Don't pry. Don't pity. Empathize.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:42 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I depends on them. If they don't bring it up, I may ask about it once or twice and then tone it down to how's it going. With another friend I genreally ask her every few months "How's the babymaking business coming?" She doesn't mind and likes to talk about it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think just be respectful and listen and ask how they are doing and don't be one of those crazy women who complains about morning sickness if you have a friend who is dying to be pg.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 01:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]listen, don't judge, don't give "advice" (we go to doctors for that) and most of all don't pretend like you aren't pregnant, if you are (that is just really weird)
[ Reply | Options ]08.17.08, 02:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] It's funny to me how many women on here use the justification of "when I went to coll... 174 replies
- Oh get over your bad selves! I'm so sick of hearing people pining for the good old days! For me, I think it's an improvement that I can safely walk through...the burbs (born in 64 so a kid in the 70s) and same thing, we ran all over town, were out from morning til night, etc. My friends and siblings who live in those same burbs today do not let their kids do that. They have...
Talk : : August 13, 2008
It's funny to me how many women on here use the justification of "when I went to college, the NYC kids just seemed so worldly/cool/sophisticated" as a reason to stay in cramped apartments and go into financial ruin to pay for Dalton. As someone who grew up here, I can tell you that (a) the city is a lot different, a lot richer, whiter and more suburbanized than it was 20 years ago and (b) the suburbs have gotten a lot hipper and less homogenized.
174 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.13.08, 11:50 AM [ Flag ]Only if you consider the "city" Manhatten below 96 St. Which already says a lot about how small your world is.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Whoa Princess!! OP is clearly talking about the sort of women who consider the city to be Manhattan south of 96th Street. Hence mention of Dalton School.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes. And that same set of women certainly didn't consider kids from Astoria or Bay Ridge to be worldly and sophisticated
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol. I'm from Staten Island. Am I one of those worldly, sophisticated NYC kids you met in college?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
And that makes ME the princess?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Major, serious PRINCESS. WIth a rich Daddy up in Scarsdale who you love love love to piss off.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LMAO! I see you can't follow the thread.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No. Only angry rich girls get pissed off at things like that. You fight with your Daddy all the time about why you live in "that part" of Brooklyn and when your DH is going to get a "real job" And then Mom slips the $5K check into your hand on the way out. "For the kids"
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm the "OR".
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
WHOM you love to piss off. And where did you go to school?
[ Reply | Options ]08.17.08, 04:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Um, thanks for sharing?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Which suburbs are currently a lot hipper and less homogenized?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Utopia?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITTTTA! LOL!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Is that in Jersey or Westchester?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Maplewood, Montclair, Nyack
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOL! You are kidding right?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I live in Maplewood (not OR) - it's like Park Slope picked up and moved west. Lots of Black families, interracial, many many gay and lesbian couples.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]All from the same social-economic group, liberal dems, etc, etc, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Which is exactly why I, a very liberal middle class dem, stays clear of such places & prefers the city where my child might - gasp - be among people of varying socio-economic backgrounds & even bigger GASP might meet a republican or two.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm with you. I'd rather my dc spend time with people who don't mirror them. It will force them to expand their world view.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]can't stand the liberal dems, pls move out of the city.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 04:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Not at all. Here in Maplewood, we have everyone from folks with one foot on the first rung of the middle class ladder, to those who summer on Martha's Vineyard and like venues. And (gasp!) several of my friends are Republicans.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
There are not lots of black families in Park Slope. More like lots of interacial families.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Does that not count for diversity?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 09:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]hardly... ps is white white white compared to fort green/clinton hill--that is real diversity
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
And does everyone send their kids to the local public schools for elementary through high school at Maplewood?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np. of course not. they are afraid of the aa "thugs." so much for the happy, multi-culti community.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's what I had heard - that there are lots of private school families in Montclair and Maplewood.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
No, not everyone, but the same proportion of people as from neighboring, less diverse communities: around 10%.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
But are families staying for high schools there?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, the high school is terrific, in particular if your kids are in honors/AP, which is about 40% of the school. And, if you are interested in the arts: music (CHS won a Grammy last year!), art, film, journalism, musical theatre, dance, etc. are all outstanding.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Also, wanted to mention that our first graduated from there, our second will be a senior, had an amazing year last year: one of his teachers was of the "once in a lifetime" variety, but he's registered for two more of them this year; and our third will start as a freshman in a couple of wks. (BTW, my DH and I both have ivy degrees, so we are particular about the quality of curriculum and teachers.)
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np--What's the racial divide in the high school AP program versus the regular track?
[ Reply | Options ]12.15.08, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
while I agree that the city is lot different than it used to be, I think your description of the suburbs is WAY off.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ittttta
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
the NYC kids seemed seriously troubled when I went to college
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]my cramped apartment is rent stabilized thank you v. much!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]So then even an idiot could conclude that the OP wasn't talking about you. Yet you felt compelled to respond.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Lighten up, will ya.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, please lighten up. Or are you the moderator of this thread and lack any sense of humor!! OP is seeking to provoke, any idiot, even one such as yourself can see that!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What is YOUR problem, idiot?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Excuse me? Who made you the opinion monitor on this board? Go back under your rock.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
LOL!!!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm a native NYer and find myslef lamenting over the old NY all the time...I have to realize, it's gone, it's over. And yes, I am leaving this place - It is not where I want to live anymore much less raise my dc.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What are the differences? I lived here in the mid-80s (yes, I'm old) and now for the past six years and I don't know what the difference is other than I don't see as many rats now as I did then.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR here ... It's all rebuilt, scaffolding all over, exponentially more crowded; less neighborhood-like. I'm old, too, but believe me the differences are profound from even 15 years ago...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's true about it all being rebuilt. I forgot about that. I was telling my DH the other day about various neighborhoods I wouldn't have walked through when I lived here in the 80s, and there were a lot of them, but I can't think of any really now.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR - Yeah, all the charming cafes, and shops are goooone ... it's all franchise now.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: Yes. It's become a giant outdoor mall. Was in Westfield, NJ a couple of months back and all I could think was "it's got all the same stores as the UWS... and UES... and West Village...."
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I read an interview with Woody Allen recently in which he was asked why he didn't shoot in NYC anymore. He responded that with few exceptions like Carnegie Hill and the West Village, Manhattan looks a lot more like Dallas now.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]maybe if woody allen actually made a movie i'd want to watch in the last five years i'd actually give a sh&t. this is the man who spent a gazillion dollars gutting and renovating the carnegie hill apartment he shares with the daughter he sleeps with yet he bemoans the passing of the old new york (mostly because it makes shooting his bad movies harder)? what a tool.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hear! Hear!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Oh please, he needs to look above 110th street & realize that Carnegie Hill is much more "Dallas like" than many other parts of the UES & UWS for that matter - just get off Broadway & Lexington!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
the people who complain the loudest about the little neighborhood shops closing are usually the ones who never shopped there in the first place (amazon.com is so much easier, no?) and who never once attended a zoning board meeting or a community board meeting or a historic preservation meeting. i'm betting you are one of those people.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]seriously, wtf was she doing at the mall in westfield, nj? buying the book at borders she could have picked up at three lives?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The formerly authentic diversity of nyc has been absolutely shifted(where not wiped out altogether)by a much more purely economic delineations than ever before. The thriving arts driven populations have been squeezed out-along w/ the rats- to ever more distant areas and have been replaced by a much more homogenous, sex in the city striving facade. There were things to enjoy here that were not for sale,places beyond parks that were free to enjoy and loads of neighborhoods w/generations of ancestry continuing to drive and enrich their communities. Of course there have been some positive improvements but to those of us from here, or those lured by the melting pot, the deficits often outweigh those 'improvements'.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]**and to the 'old' poster above. I've been here since 1968 and I'm not old...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]lured by the melting pot? why, because sitting next to a brown person on the subway made you feel like you'd done your part to make the world a better, more multi-cultural place? or is that all the non-white friends you made over the years have moved out and that's why you're so sad?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hello. The 'brown' person sitting next to me on the subway was generally my father or one of my siblings. Your firing mechanism is not only malfunctioning but your permit should be examined. **btw- What??
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 09:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]oh, so you're just another garden variety racist. the city has too many whiteys. got it. so why don't you move instead of whining about it?
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 04:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Travis here-Are you talking to me? I didn't understand the first comment regarding my post and this one is further indecipherable. We clearly have different understandings of a melting pot. 'Race' issues aren't factor in in my experiences of a changed ny and are are very clearly highly figurative in your perceptions. Your slanderous labeling of people-brown & whitey-makes you appear very sick.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 03:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yeah, travis is right. you're psychotic. and not very smart despite your efforts to prove otherwise.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 04:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]MedsAlert!!
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 05:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
OP: Thank you! It's hard to explain to people that Short Hills East (aka the Upper West Side) is not the same place we grew up in and that their kids are not going to be the people they were hoping for.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR; I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way & notices the drastic changes. I am such a nostalgiac (?) for NY... but it's gone, and I hate living here now. I'll be leaving soon, but not soon enough!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Most of my HS classmates have left too. Many in burbs, funny enough. At some level we envied kids whose high school years weren't spent at MK or Nells. And the city was so less sanitized then. My classmates fathers weren't all hedge fund managers... well, you know the drill. Hard to explain to people who hated the burbs and feel the city is the antidote to an unhappy childhood.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR; Yeah, well, one would like something between either extreem of suburban drawl and total gentrified concrete...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:20 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]LOL at MK and Nells. Funny! Brearley '87 here and we're moving to Carrol Gardens tomorrow. I just keep finding that I don't LIKE the people here anymore. Some, of courser. But the ones who are nuts about schools are certifiable.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 08:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Where will your dc go to school?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 09:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
So sad...me too but out of the US for us; I'll always be grateful for the NY I had and I'll try to keep the best remaining alive and supported. My kid has enjoyed the rote brilliant offerings but that is what they're becoming-even to her. Anyone noticed the Hall of Pacific Northwest Peoples at AMNH? The native reclamations have repossessed much of the collection and returned it from whence it came. We'll enjoy seeing those totems back in the open air...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Are you moving to the South Pacific?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Vancouver.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Totemism is not generally as emblematic in the South Pacific tribal cultures.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 01:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I've heard Vancvouver is awesome, and you would know... good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 01:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks. We were in the middle if relocating almost a decade ago, when we became pg w/1st and stayed to be near family. Vancouver was actually affordable then; Now it's going to be more of an economic challenge but the quality of life is worth the effort. Schools are excellent overall, nature and outdoors are everywhere, it's culturally,economically and socially mixed and the people are quite open and happy-in general.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 01:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]from what i've seen of vancouver, it's like every other city. there are places where the rich people live (on the water) and places where the poor people live. not a whole lot of socioeconomic mixing.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np - Not only that but there are no black people or Hispanics in Vancouver. The diversity is in the various nationalities of Asians in Vancouver.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]True-20 years ago the lack of diversity in Vancouver was jarring, coming from nyc; the only non-whites were Asians and First Nations peoples. This is not the Vancouver of today.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 09:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]it does sound as if you haven't spent much time there. I'm a native ny'er. Nowhere else is like the ny any of us feel we live in and I'm not looking to find ny anywhere else. I just feel like it's played itself and I hung in. Ny isn't going anywhere; I am. My move has to do with going toward new experiences, not running from them.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 09:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Just wait until all those Latinos and 'Black People' in Vancouver hear they're not there!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 09:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What's the percentage of them in Vancouver BC?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 09:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]We're not $$wealthy and will live on the water. Our many friends are from really varied socioeconomic and ethnic backgrounds. One thing is true-wherever you may go in the world, there will be people preoccupied w/what they have, how they stack up and how they appear to others. I just enjoy the exhalation of sitting w/a group of grown, accomplished people that may have come from their high-pressure, high-earning(or not) jobs and have a conversation about the last beautiful trail they rode and not the %age their agent took for whatever...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 09:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Google it; I wouldn't have those ethnographic demographics. As a matter of fact, I'm a 'non-white' and am so nauseous with the general opinion that race (I grew up thinking Human counted as 1)or ethnicity is the big marker of diversity. So many people seem comfortable in that thinking and #2-$$.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 10:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
lol. vancouver actually has more malls than nyc. but, hey, good for you that you are striking out where no shopper has been before!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what does rote brilliant mean? what in nyc are you planning to support while enjoying the deep cultural satisfaction of eyeballing tiki masks in the window display of the banana republic at vancouver centre mall? that is what you'll be doing, right?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]We'll maintain our cultural memberships w/the places we really appreciate and have given us so much-WCS, NY Hall of Science, AMNH, CPConservancy, God's Love We Deliver and others and maintain our connections w/loved ones. We're not digging our roots up; we're spreading them. Make Love Not War, Baby.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 10:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wait, you're supporting the museum that as you yourself claim stole cultural artifacts? you really are the stupidest poster on ub today.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 04:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]However AMNH acquired those pieces I'm not privvy to but I am aware that the spot where our asses are parked this minute was a swindle.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 03:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm truly sorry about your clueless, friendless trip to B.C. It sounds like you wasted time trying to shop there, Silly; Aren't you from NY?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 10:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
omg. this is perhaps the stupidest post i've ever read on ub. thank you for making my night!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hey. Let's be grateful that she's moving to Vancouver.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Don't be such a PlayerHater, Ma...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 10:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Let's hope you don't.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 04:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
sorry, but what does the presence of a banana republic on the next block have to do with what sort of people your dcs grow up to be? you sound like a pompous idiot.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I grew up on the UWS went to private school, followed by specialized public hs. When I looked for a similar experience to this for my children, my search led me to Brooklyn.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I grew up in Brooklyn and it was a great place to be a kid then and my kids are having a ball here now.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You grew up in Brownstone Brooklyn or Yo! Brooklyn?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Actually both, since I grew up in a brownstone in Bedstuy.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]And "Do Or Die Bed Stuy" was a great place to be as a kid?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:21 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Yes it was. We could go outside and run around the streets, because every one knew each other. My parents would kick us out the house daily and tell us to be home when the street lights came on. There was a vegetable man who came around in a truck on the weekends and we made extra money by delivering his orders. Since most kids didn't have they're own bikes we got good at cobbling on together from parts. Most of our bikes had broom sticks as seat posts and some kids wouldn't cut their's down so they would be sitting 5ft up in the air.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^I basically had the Chris Rock "Everybody Loves Chris" childhood which makes sense since we're about the same age.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR from above...See this is how it was when I was growing up, too, and it's gone, never to return. My gauge is this: If *I* don't like living here, what makes me think my kid is going to like it? Schools? Please, the schools all suck, unless you're a millionaire.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well I live in Prospect-Lefferts Gardens now and it's pretty much the same only with more white people. Also here my dc live in Prospect Park, think a summer Wednesday without dinner at the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens means we're trying to keep then from their friends. And think the only reason to go to the Brooklyn Museum of Art again is to get to the dancing fountain in front.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I got to tell you that sounds somewhat like my childhood but I grew up in the Chicago suburbs. Just exchange run around the streets to running around the neighborhood and it's the same. We had fields and lakes and we would go exploring and our parents never thought twice about us disappearing into woods. I can't even imagine letting me kids do that today.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What's interesting to me about this is how much of it might have to be with the shift in parenting thats occurred since then? It sounds like your parents were good at allowing kids some room for adventure. Good for them.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 09:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yeah, We UWS people regularly took the train/bus to other boroughs w/out thinking we were leaving nyc. They were always neighborhoods in the city to us-not simply alternatives to economic and space issues.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
LOL! Yeah, Park Slope is not like Red Hook ... although wait, I just turned my head and that's gentrified, too...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
What neighborhood and schools do you recommend? We are on the UWS and I am beginning to hate it. It's become so much about status and prestige. I just want my dc to go to a nice neighborhood school with a good mix of kids.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np - Try moving further up on the UWS
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]to where and which schools do you send your kids to?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]In my nabe? Public: Manhattan School for Children, Anderson, Hunter, PS 9 G&T, 166 G&T, 163 G&T, 87, 75, Special Music and probably more. Private: Bank Street, St Hilda's, Cathedral, The School at Columbia, Dalton, Brearley, Collegiate, Metropolitan Montessori, Spence, Calhoun, Ethical Culture, Horace Mann, Columbia Grammar & many more
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:26 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]are you kidding? Most of these schools are mostly white and more about money and status than I care for.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What are you angry at? What is it that you want in a school?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]a good mix of kids (racially, economically and culturally) which draws from the surronding neighborhood.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Manhattan School for Children
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]up until about a year ago, MSC was based on "who you know" or fitting a profile. Very few low income families and hispanics were admitted. Now, with the lottery, who's knows?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Generally around 20% of MSC kids qualify for free lunch. Is that not enough for you? Isn't that reflective of the neighborhood? Also 23% of MSC kids are Hispanic (23% black, 45% white, 8% Asian). Seems good to me. But you're right on "who knows" with the lottery system.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sure, MSC is comfortable for UMC on the UWS. but with only 2% limited English proficiency, this doesn’t sound like it reflects the district public schools so I don't consider it a good mix.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]what, what?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The School at Columbia
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 07:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Look at the picture of the graduating class at St. Hilda's St. Hugh's on their website. (np)
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: Have yo really looked at these schools? IT is not at all true for many of them
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
huh? many of these aren't uws schools, many are near impossible to get into, and most importantly, OR was worried about status and prestige--which would knock Dalton/Collegiate/Brearley/Spence/EC/HM off the list.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry - I lost track of OR's statement and was merely answering where my kids (& my neighbors' kids) go to school. Basically, even the families whose kids go to Dalton/Collegiate whatever? They themselves are very down to earth.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no problem, but I suppose definitions of "down to earth" are all relative.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
That is District 3-the Lower UWS. Your reply has outed you as a transplant.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't know what you're talking about. I live in the 100s, in D3.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was addressing the poster who recommended moving further up the UWS. Further up than 127(in some cases)leaves you in the shi# for publics and leaves you firmly in limbo for lotteries or stuck w/private attempts. Variances are tighter than ever and past D3 puts you very low on the lottery round-believe the DoE if you don't believe me. MSC has been off the table for out of district for a few years by now.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 01:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That was me and I assumed that the poster who said that the UWS was about status & prestige lived somewhere in the 60s to 80s. I was recommending moving up to the UWS of the 90s to 110s.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I live in that vicinity and it still has the same issue. School still lack diversity.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What is your definition of diversity? 30% white, 30% black, 30% hispanic, 10% asian?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, something that is more reflective of the neighborhood.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]And what is the neighborhood's real demographics?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Oh, and send your kids to public schools if you can.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]where??? The public schools in district 3 are all segregated racially and economically.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]All of them are? Which ones are you talking about?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Most of them. Where is there a nice racially and economically balanced public school that draw from the neighborhood?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]75?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]and 84?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]both these schools are nice, but both have a majority of low income and minority kids some coming from as far as districts 5 and 6. Like I said, district 3 has segregated schools (or programs in schools). I don't like the vibe here and I'm not sure I want my dc growing up with these values.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:34 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]So tell me a NYC public school that you *do* like.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't like any in district 3, that's why I was asking about Brooklyn.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think you'll find the same in Brooklyn
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITTTTTTA!!!!!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 12:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Oh get over your bad selves! I'm so sick of hearing people pining for the good old days! For me, I think it's an improvement that I can safely walk through Times Square with my kids, and take subways without worrying about muggings, and not live in a bankrupt city that's burning and seething with race riots. I remember in the early 80s, when you'd have to step over countless homeless people when walking through the streets, and I remember the homeless people coming up and grabbing at the baby I was walking with, and furiously cursing when the mom said not to touch. And I live a fairly simple life in Manhattan, still shopping the small non-chain stores, in a neighborhood with a socioeconomic and racial mix of families...and it's less than a 1/2 mile way from central UWS.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 01:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I remember the 80s too. The crack vials and tops in the playgrounds, yelling at crack whores fucking guys in my building's vestibules. So glad I didn't have kids then.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 01:08 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Did you move to a 'better' area? There are crack smoking people in all kinds of neighborhoods and your homeless observation will probably seem premature to you once the late Fall comes around. I lived in the EVillage when crack came to town and clearly affluent, well-dressed folks dropped off the bulk supplies to the dealers and picked up the money too. The volume of cabs from the UE and UWS to the area to cop their rock was huge! There are rock bags near Gracie Mansion, Tot Lot 110 and many other locales. Please check yourself. NY SOLD OUT! and got better at cloaking the grime behind the money
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not at all. I stayed in the area and bought a 2 BR for $300K. No mortgage left on it and it's worth a lot more now.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
If your point is to say things were always bad, and they still are... I still disagree...They weren't the way they are now, and the way they are now is crummy...
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 01:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np. I thought her point was that in many respects the city is a lot BETTER now than it was then. And I agree with her, if that´s what she meant.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 02:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
itta. no, it is not quite the sam "edgy" new york, but it beats the crap out of the suburbs, still. I complain all the time about the UWS becoming a mall--then I go to a mall.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOL. You hit the nail on the head. The UWS etc. seem so "all american" until you go to the suburbs and then you realize there are a million differences.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 04:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
for all you people nostalgic about "old New York" who spoke of riding bikes everywhere and getting told by your parents to leave the house and not coming home by dark. The fact that people don't do that anymore has less to do with the city changing but with the times changing. I grew up in the burbs (born in 64 so a kid in the 70s) and same thing, we ran all over town, were out from morning til night, etc. My friends and siblings who live in those same burbs today do not let their kids do that. They have organized activities, playdates, etc. NYC isn't the only place that's changed over the last 30 years.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 03:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I just wrote the post below that I grew up in the city and now live in NJ burbs. I sort of agree with your post. Where we live in NJ, though, my kids basically have a lot of freedom (zero crime pretty much). They are all over the place and walk/ride their bikes from house to house and my 11 y.o. dd now walks a few min. into town on her own. I hear what you are saying and realize that many are much more protective of their kids. I tend to think that sure, we live in a dangerous world filled with creeps, but the media plays a huge role in making us all afraid to walk around any more. I honestly don't think it's more dangerous now than in the 70's when I was a little kid. My friends and I were free to walk around Manhattan back then and I know for a fact that it was more dangerous than it is now.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: But as you alluded, it's all up to each family. I know several 11 year olds who walk around the neighborhood from home to school to local stores in Manhattan. Hell, some even take the subways alone. But not everyone lets their kid do that. Same as in the burbs.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I wasn't being nostalgic, I was explaining what made growing in the "hood" fun.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: I was born in the city, grew up in the 70's and 80's in the city, and as a native NYer who now lives in the burbs (NJ), I totally agree with your post. I still love NYC, but boy has it changed. The "real" NY that you've always heard about and read about in books, TV, film, just isn't around any more. When I'm in the city now, every corner basically looks and feels exactly like my town and our surroundings out here. Back in the day, sure, there was a lot of violence and filth, (the big, bad dangers of city which are well-known and not missed by anyone, I would think), but the character of the city and its various neighborhoods is gone as well. To add, as someone who has lived in a few burbs around the metropolitan area, I have come to learn that not all burbs are the same. Some are made up mostly of people who could just as easily be living in some little town in the middle of America, and be clueless about NYC, where other burbs are made up mostly of ex-NYers. To each his own, I suppose, but this is my 2 cents.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 04:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have an excellent idea. How about not relying on the schools to raise your children and you raise them while instilling in them kindness, fairness, ideas about equality, integrity, not to be racist, etc. I'm so tired of everyone blaming the schools, or their neighborhoods or a million other things if their kids turn out to be rotten spoiled and elitist.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
just have to weigh in re: food. You can't beat the quality and availability of diverse cuisine here. In burbs you'll get a couple of good restaurants, a few little gourmet shops. Here, the mediocre restaurants beats most of what the burbs offer, hands down.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]again, i'm the NYer (now burbs). of course, the best thing about nyc has always been the diversity in restaurants and food and the fact that you can eat every kind of cuisine within a block or two of your apt. but no way are the mediocre restaurants better than the restaurants out here. again, it all depends on what burb and area you live in. some burbs i've lived in had awful dining options, while others have great ones.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 05:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]great ones being two or three, not 10 w/in walking distance of your apt. there's the one good bistro, the one good italian place, the one good sushi place. Which is great, but it is not the city.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, of course not! as i said, we have excellent restaurants, delis, etc. where i live in nj, but i realize it's not manhattan. there are so many horrible places to eat in the city, too, however. over 30 yrs. of experience has taught me that.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np - Which burbs have great restaurants?
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i live in essex county, nj. you can eat in great rest. in most of the towns near here: maplewood, millburn, summit, chatham, madison, livingston, westfield, morristown, newark, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
NYC is actually less white, as is most of the rest of the county, than when we were kids
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 06:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's true.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 05:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Well, I (a native, public school UWSer) live in Chinatown / LES, and it ain't white or rich here, folks!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 09:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA about Chinatown. The parts of the LES taken over by the hipsters is both white and rich, though, but like to pretend they're not.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 09:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I actually think the opposite. Now that more boring people are staying too, I can raise my child here and they won't necessarily end up f*cked up. Most of the city kids at college were kind of provincial in that they totally didn't understand what it was like to live anywhere else. They really couldn't relate to anyone else's experience and they thought they were really cool since they were from the city.
[ Reply | Options ]08.14.08, 04:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh boy, I sure agree with you. I am married to one of the NYC provincials. I am always ready to get out of here and I'm amazed at how ignorant he is of the way the rest of the world works. His brother and his brother's wife can't even drive in their mid-30's. Environmentally and financially not a bad thing, but think about how little of the world you can see in this country without being able to drive. It's like the world ends at the river. Sad, the superiority and ignorance. New York can be as hick a place as any. They Hickly think they are the only people on earth with an interesting life. the right values, intelligence, competitiveness. Oh well, I still love my DH and his family and NYC.
[ Reply | Options ]12.15.08, 10:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why are you responding to 4 month old threads?
[ Reply | Options ]12.15.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: Why would ANYONE live in NYC suburb - seriously? The only draw over other parts of the country is proximity to NYC. It's not like there is anything compelling about the NYC Suburb Scene, particularly compared to every other part of the country, and its still really expensive.
[ Reply | Options ]12.15.08, 11:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I am 39.5 weeks and have suddenly developed a cold, as has my dd. It isn't a bad cold... 8 replies
- could help out? family? in laws? otherwise you may just be stuck. (Dh even go in a few hrs later to work one morning?)...
- only make me sicker. Plus, if I am home, dd wants to be with me, so having her here (she won't rest, sick or not) and me here, means me doing the childcare....
Talk : : August 13, 2008
I am 39.5 weeks and have suddenly developed a cold, as has my dd. It isn't a bad cold in her case, but I feel bad sending her to camp. I don't think I have the stregnth to take care of her sans camp though. Any suggestions? She is 3.5, so camp is only half a day - but the half a day that I sleep, clean, contemplate having two kids, cry...
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.13.08, 10:59 AM [ Flag ]If she doesn't have a fever and wants to go to camp, I'd send her.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's what I did today, but I hate when people send sickish kids to school. She doesn't have green mucus or anything and loves camp - in my defense.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Me too, but I think sick-ish is hard to define. If I didn't send my kid to camp/school every time he had a runny nose, he'd rarely go at all.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I guess I'll cling to the no green mucus and rationalize that way and send her again tomorrow.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Do you have a sitter here and there who could help out? family? in laws? otherwise you may just be stuck. (Dh even go in a few hrs later to work one morning?)
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have a sitter twice a week, I am very lucky to have someone coming tomorrow after camp for like two hours. DH and my parents are gearing up for being here lots next week, post baby 2, and my MIL makes me so crazy that having her here while I am in bed would only make me sicker. Plus, if I am home, dd wants to be with me, so having her here (she won't rest, sick or not) and me here, means me doing the childcare.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm sorry, it does sound like you could use a little break. I hope she and you feel better soon!
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks.
[ Reply | Options ]08.13.08, 11:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] mom w/ sick 9mo, posting again. he's had a fever for 5 days and we've seen the doc 2... 2 replies
- something like what you are describing went through our school in about early May this year. The fever lasted for up to 10 days, the kids rebounded at about day 7 and then got sick again. It was very nasty, but it passed and all are fine. I know it is scary, but if the MD says it's OK, I would try to relax. A fever in and of itself is not bad. it means the body is fighting....
Talk : : August 12, 2008
mom w/ sick 9mo, posting again. he's had a fever for 5 days and we've seen the doc 2x so far. they said it's first stomach virus and now ear infection. docs not thinking its a big deal that ds has had a fever this long, but isnt it really bad to let a baby have a fever for a long stretch? he usually has a fever in the evening and middle of the night. morning and early evening are ok. if i give tylenol every 4 hours, when can i give motrin -- how can i balance the two?
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.12.08, 09:32 AM [ Flag ]It's not bad to have a fever per se - it's your body fighting off infection, which is a good thing. Fevers also tend to be higher in the evening and lower in the morning. Is the fever not responding to the tylenol? And how high is the fever? I would only do tylenol plus motrin if it was a really high fever not going down just with tylenol. You can look on askdrsears.com for some more info. And try not to worry - he's going to be fine!
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]something like what you are describing went through our school in about early May this year. The fever lasted for up to 10 days, the kids rebounded at about day 7 and then got sick again. It was very nasty, but it passed and all are fine. I know it is scary, but if the MD says it's OK, I would try to relax. A fever in and of itself is not bad. it means the body is fighting.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 10:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Jury Duty: telephone standby on 9/5 (after school starts) for Petit Jury in NY. Alrea... 5 replies
- I think you can get out of it til your youngest is 16 or something like that. What are you going to do if he has a day off from school, has a half day, is sick in the morning and can't go?? I think you can keep getting exemptions for a while...
Talk : : August 11, 2008
Jury Duty: telephone standby on 9/5 (after school starts) for Petit Jury in NY. Already exempt once, and now youngest will start K (full-time). I am the sole caregiver. Should I bite the bullet and serve, or try for another exemption? I freelance part-time from home. Someone posted that I may be called to serve everyday for 1 month from 10am-1pm?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.11.08, 01:35 PM [ Flag ]^^serve, meaning hope that they will not pick me because I need to go pick up DC from school at 3pm.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 01:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What county?
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 02:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Queens
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 04:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think you can get out of it til your youngest is 16 or something like that. What are you going to do if he has a day off from school, has a half day, is sick in the morning and can't go?? I think you can keep getting exemptions for a while
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 03:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Serve. Hardly unlikely that you'll serve for more than four days.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 04:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Highly doubt that Nicole Kidman actually had a baby. You don't look like this only we... 6 replies
- I gained 20 lbs (major morning sickness) with my first pregnancy and was back to my regular weight after 4 weeks (not trying, just have a weird metabolism). She did /does seem thin but who knows. A girl in my...
Talk : : August 11, 2008
Highly doubt that Nicole Kidman actually had a baby. You don't look like this only weeks after giving birth.
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.11.08, 08:44 AM [ Flag ]I agree. I think she adopted and faked the in utero pregnancy the entire time. On the other hand if she gained under 25 lbs., then yes she could have lost the weight already.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 08:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Let's get real here. She gained maybe 8 lbs. She gained the weight of the baby and placenta, and not a pound more.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
she's like a wax figure.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 08:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i think she did have the baby but i agree that she is way to thin and doesn't look like she was preg. but my neighbor upstairs had twins and i swear she was hardly showing at all and then came home from the hospital wearing a mini skirt!! go figure!
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I gained 20 lbs (major morning sickness) with my first pregnancy and was back to my regular weight after 4 weeks (not trying, just have a weird metabolism). She did /does seem thin but who knows. A girl in my high school had a baby and came back to school the next week in her size 2 jeans. Freakshow.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] help - 9mo ds sick for the first time. had fever (and some vomitting) since thursday ... 1 reply
Talk : : August 10, 2008
help - 9mo ds sick for the first time. had fever (and some vomitting) since thursday 3am. went to doc friday and she said to just wait it out, stop formula and give him pedialyte. have given ds tylenol and motrin when 102. he had 102 temp twice and that was the highest ever. temps been in the 100 - 101 range. last night and this morning, he was really burning up but now better after motrin. but he's still not himself - he's weak and its hard to see him like this. how much longer does this bug last? he hasnt vomitted in over 24 hours - i think b/c i feed him 3oz at a time so it's easier on his stomach. please help. anything i can do to keep his fever down other than tylenol/motrin? is it bad if he still plays b/c he should rather be resting? should i use cold towels to wipe him down? he's been sick for more than 4 days now...i'm so worried. TIA.
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.10.08, 07:55 AM [ Flag ]Aww. Sorry your db is sick. If he hasn't vomited in 24 hours, I think you should give him a little food/formula (rice cereal?) to see how it goes. He might be weak from hunger! Let him play if he wants to....
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 10:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] This morning I was starving (sick last night) I had two hot dogs then a bagel, now I... 2 replies
Talk : : August 06, 2008
This morning I was starving (sick last night) I had two hot dogs then a bagel, now I'm constipated. Just took two stool softeners, any other ideas? I don't want to drink senna tea. TIA
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.06.08, 04:04 PM [ Flag ]read a newspaper
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 04:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Eat fruit. Go for a walk
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 04:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] dd figured out how to climb out of her crib. i so badly needed dcs to take a nap rig... 27 replies
- don't have what it takes today. i was a Good Mother this morning and now i've had it. I don't know what to do....
- have to reschedule my day so I don't knock myself out in the mornings b/c i'm not going to have some time to myself in...in this trio ? The mom. Without a healthy mom, we have two sick ones." You need to stay OK...
- manage until 5pm. i might regret it when they are up at 5 tomorrow morning but i'll deal with it then....
Talk : : August 06, 2008
dd figured out how to climb out of her crib. i so badly needed dcs to take a nap right now. i really need the break - i'm incredibly stressed out. but she keeps climbing out.
27 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.06.08, 10:09 AM [ Flag ]Get a crib cover.. its like a tent top. Secures to top rails. Works great.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 10:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you need help. can you get a nanny a few days/week?
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 10:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, i do need a break. i thought i could handle this and it's harder than i thought it would be. i'm going to try to find a mother's helper to give me a break a few hours a day.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 10:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
As long as you don't mind crating your child like a dog, that is.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Lie down with her on the couch or your bed and read a book or eight. Close your eyes and breathe slowly. It will relax you and probably help her to rest as well.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 10:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]she just came out again. i seriously don't have what it takes today. i was a Good Mother this morning and now i've had it. I don't know what to do.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^i think she's coloring on the walls right now. and i don't even care as long as she's not in here with me.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 10:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]So lie down with her somewhere comfy. Explain that you need a break and she can stay with you but she has to be vewwyy vewwyy quiet.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 10:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I don't mean this to be harsh, but parenthood is unfortunately not all about what you need.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 10:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]your prefacing comment didn't help you not sound like an ass
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 10:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]But it's true.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 10:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]exactly. parents don't have to be martyrs and we need to take care of ourselves as well. sleep depreviation is very hard on the body and spirit.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: well said
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
OP: i agree with that. but i'm having a hard time balancing what needs to be done with my physical limitations. i'm not just being lazy. i am seriously drained.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^i mean, there are plenty of days when i wanted the break a nap would give me. but then there are the days when i need the break.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]unfortunately, those are also the days life decides to throw you the biggest challenges.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]No matter how crappy it seems at this moment, the clock is ticking. The day will end. She will go to sleep. Time is not standing still.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: thanks, very true. ds just woke up so i guess i'll go give everyone a snack, go out for a walk, have an early dinner and hopefully put everyone to bed by 5 or 6pm. also i'm going to go drink some water which will probably help a lot. thanks.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know a mom - famous for being the kind wife of an ex-president - who put everyone to bed by 5:00 PM to preserve her sanity. You can do it too !
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]sounds good to me! i just sat them in front of the tv so that'll kill an hour or so. after that, i can manage until 5pm. i might regret it when they are up at 5 tomorrow morning but i'll deal with it then.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Just resolve that you will get through today and that you WILL get help and not spend every waking hour with her. You'll be a better mommy for getting away every now and then. You will miss her and actually want to go back and be with her.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i wouldn't mind spending the day with her if she would just stay in her crib when i put her there! but yes, this is the second day in a row that she didn't nap so i guess i shouldn't count on it anymore and adjust accordingly.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]did you wite how old she is ? I didn't see that. is she young enough to nap in a swing ? Mine loved that until he was so large that his feet dragged on the ground.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]she's already 2.5yo. too big for a swing i think. i think i'm just going to have to reschedule my day so I don't knock myself out in the mornings b/c i'm not going to have some time to myself in the afternoons.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Can you put her in her room with a gate at the door and lights off, maybe a soft area where she could sleep if she cose and tell her, "Mommy is taking a nap now. You can nap or not, but you must play quietly in your room." Kidproof a bit and then let it go... You probably clean that room 100times a week, just let everything go until later in the evening, let her go wacky in there, but take the time ! You both suffer without it. I remember our ped said at the first well-baby visit "Who is the most important person in this trio ? The mom. Without a healthy mom, we have two sick ones." You need to stay OK
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. this is great advice.
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]gl !
[ Reply | Options ]08.06.08, 11:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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