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[+] I never went to pre-school OR Kindergarten...but managed to do great in school and go... 14 replies
- if you're a sahm, just do drop-in classes or find a pre-k alternative. if you're a wohm, find a great daycare with a pre-school curriculum. if you don't want to spend $13k, you don't have to. but do try to find a way to make sure dc hones his socialization skills before k....
Talk : : February 15, 2009
I never went to pre-school OR Kindergarten...but managed to do great in school and go to Columbia...can someone explain to me why I have to pay $13k to send a 3 yo to school. He is well adjusted, follows instruction ans is totally brainy...what would we be missing?
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.15.09, 06:48 PM [ Flag ]you don't HAVE to pay this. You have the choice to keep him out of preschool. I personally sent my kids to preschool. They loved being around other kids their age, love the independence they learned and just loved feeling like a big kid. I thought it was worth every penny
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 06:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op-where i live now i can send him to a phenomenal pre-k (a g&T actually) for $3500. but in ridiculous nyc where we are moving...i have to pay 4x that...this just seem caraazy. i hear of hollingworth and someone recommended it for us, but i bet its also like $15K or something.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]but that's the price for private schools in the city..now if you want to pay $3500 then try Epiphany Catholic school in manhattan..that's the price for their 3's class and is supposed to be a good school.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 06:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op-i'm crap out of luck...i'm jewish :) but thanks.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you can skip pre-school, but if $13k gives you sticker shock, you better look long and hard at your public options for k and beyond. if dc is "brainy," g&t might be an option, but it's not a shoo-in by any means. how is the school you will be zoned for?
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op-i am not in the city and have my older dc in g&T in my neighborhood that is phenomenal and now my younger dc got accepted into a g&t out here but we want to move back to NYC,..for a million reasons. we are trying to get older one placed in g&t...but younger one I am wondering why bother? i can easily homeschool and in the city the enrichment opps are huge. granted younger dc has been in nursery school since 22mths...
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]enrichment for younger dc shouldn't be a problem. getting older dc into g&t will be difficult. what age?
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op-i know its tougher w/age..is that why you are asking?
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You don't have to send him. I agree it's a waste of money if you're a sahm and can spend time with dc, teach him, give him educational experiences, arrange playdates etc. If you work, however, it can be better than having him with a nanny who doesn't do what you might do yourself. If you have a great nanny who talks with/educates your dc, you're fine. By the way, I didn't go to pre-k or nursery either and ended up at Harvard. And I went to a public, not "tt" high school. Go figure.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]what is the great publia school in tribeca and does it have a g&t? doe sit have a good music & art program? how about phys ed?
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ps234 is widely considered to be one of the best if not the best public in the city. it does not have a g&t (the history of g&ts is that they were put in schools that served dcs from the projects in order to prevent white flight; no projects in tribeca, hence no g&t). that said, tribeca is going through some changes. there are two new schools being built, and you won't necessarily get your first choice. i don't know anything about the music and art programs specifically; they're probably fine. phys ed is generally once a week in public schools. you should also check out ps150, an unzoned school in tribeca you would get priority for. gl.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op-thanks sooo much!
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
if you're a sahm, just do drop-in classes or find a pre-k alternative. if you're a wohm, find a great daycare with a pre-school curriculum. if you don't want to spend $13k, you don't have to. but do try to find a way to make sure dc hones his socialization skills before k.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] WWYD-I have a friend who is always telling me what to do with my kids, my house etc a... 3 replies
Talk : : February 15, 2009
WWYD-I have a friend who is always telling me what to do with my kids, my house etc and then I find out that her mother and mother in law quit their jobs to help watch her DS (pays no daycare), husband does all of the grocery shopping and cooking, she has a cleaning lady. The final straw came last night at a mutual friend's house. I have laundry up to my eyeballs and I mentioned that. She said "My mother catches me up when she comes over." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? I work full time, my parents live in Florida, my inlaws both work full time. She was telling me that I need to set up designated times for all parents to take the children. Help!!
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.15.09, 08:06 AM [ Flag ]drop her like a hot potato-working full time, with kids and family to manage--you just don't have time for her right now
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 08:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was like "what exactly do you do?". My husband rolled his eyes at her. Thing is is that she acts like she "does it all" and in the mean time she does nothing. Her husband looked exhausted.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 08:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I have the same situation with MY mother. Apparently my mother (cause my father was lazy) had to cook, clean, and do everything. I actually have a husband that helps so I'm not as good as her because I don't do everything myself and my house isn't immaculate, the microwave has a few spots in it, there's toys on the floor, blah, blah, blah. Plus she lives with me 4 days a week because she works close to here. I love that dd has a good relationship with her grandma but I'm afraid she's gonna grow up thinking that way too because my mother has no problem voicing her opinion. I love her but she is driving me crazy.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 09:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Has anyone ever been to "Beaches"? They are one of the few vacation spots that has or... 6 replies
- i've never understood this. either leave the baby home and go on a couple vacation or go someplace and spend time as a family unit. Why look to dump the baby in a strange daycare?...
Talk : : February 15, 2009
Has anyone ever been to "Beaches"? They are one of the few vacation spots that has organized child care for infants. It's not cheap and I was curious of people's experience. Am open to other suggestions for a vacation w/ an infant.
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.15.09, 07:50 AM [ Flag ]we liked atlantis more than I would have thought.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i've never understood this. either leave the baby home and go on a couple vacation or go someplace and spend time as a family unit. Why look to dump the baby in a strange daycare?
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]then your obviously really dense
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]at least I know the difference between your and you're
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 08:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Did Beaches on Turks & Caicos and hated it. Like Disneyland on crack. Very artificial non-islandy. Love Club Med! Try Club Med Cancun - fabulous (despite the fact it's in Cancun).
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 01:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I suggest Tulum, Mexico. The whole Riviera del Carmen has beautiful beach, pint size ruins for kid culture, amazing marine life and dolphin swims, and with the eco hotels there there are some really nice options for not a lot. And flights are much less than to Turks (only 1 flight from NY on American). Cancun airport is very easy, cheap. And Tulum doesnt have the party crowd at all.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 01:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Which do you think got your dc into the school of your choice? shadow days, parent-in... 10 replies
- family values consistent with the school ideals. Db in diverse daycare, school is 45% diversity...
Talk : : February 14, 2009
Which do you think got your dc into the school of your choice? shadow days, parent-interviews/tours, tests or something else.
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.14.09, 05:05 AM [ Flag ]can we tell you when the mail arrives? geesh
[ Reply | Options ]02.14.09, 05:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]My dc got into the schools of our choice because she's a great kid, they saw that, and we didn't do anything to screw it up for her.
[ Reply | Options ]02.14.09, 05:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^Last year, btw.
[ Reply | Options ]02.14.09, 05:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ERB scores (let them know ds could handle the work). Parent interviews (we talked mostly about opera). DC is cheerful, intellectually curious and has good manners. We told the school it was our FC and would accept a place if they offered us one.
[ Reply | Options ]02.14.09, 06:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what school?
[ Reply | Options ]02.14.09, 07:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Luck in what the school needed that year to balance out the siblings and legacy already accepted into the class.
[ Reply | Options ]02.14.09, 06:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]family values consistent with the school ideals. Db in diverse daycare, school is 45% diversity
[ Reply | Options ]02.14.09, 06:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Dalton!
[ Reply | Options ]02.14.09, 06:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]no
[ Reply | Options ]02.14.09, 07:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ERB set dd apart from most applicants, imo.
[ Reply | Options ]02.14.09, 06:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] need to bent. my son had cardiac surgery at birth and severe acid reflux for first fo... 1 reply
- so sorry that's really unfortunate. The problem with daycare is that they are a petri dish of bacteria. Parents bring their sick kids in no matter what and that's not a good environment for your dc. Your dc will continue to get sick (unfort) because of this environment. I hope it gets better...
Talk : : February 14, 2009
need to bent. my son had cardiac surgery at birth and severe acid reflux for first four months. we then transitioned into daycare where he has had a stomach flu, 3 ear infections, the croup, and a continuous cold. i have not slept in six months. im so f'edup that i'm not sure i even know how to sleep.
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.14.09, 02:13 AM [ Flag ]so sorry that's really unfortunate. The problem with daycare is that they are a petri dish of bacteria. Parents bring their sick kids in no matter what and that's not a good environment for your dc. Your dc will continue to get sick (unfort) because of this environment. I hope it gets better
[ Reply | Options ]02.14.09, 03:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] i posted yesterday about our sitter letting 19 mo walk to curb alone (while she dropp... 18 replies
- former nanny. as long as she kept dc safe, i would forgive the laziness, tv and other stuff. but your sitter did not keep dc safe based on all your complaints so let it go. finally i woke up when dc was 19 months and chose daycare which totally changed our lives for the better fwiw...
Talk : : February 13, 2009
i posted yesterday about our sitter letting 19 mo walk to curb alone (while she dropped a diaper bag inside). So, I fired her but I feel really badly about her losing her income suddenly. She's been here for 8 mos and except for laziness (finding the TV on a lot, not reading to them, talking them on a playdate without permission while they had fevers!), their safety hasn't been in question. Now it is. Anyway, is it crazy that I want to give her a small severence pay? Just a week. We can not even really affrod that, but I just feel sick....
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.13.09, 08:49 AM [ Flag ]don't punish yourself for going with your gut. I would have done the same thing
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thx you. nearly everyone I've asked has said they would too, but then tell me why I feel so sick to my stomach. Like I've done something really bad...What is wrong with me?!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you can feel badly for her as another person who is now in a difficult financial circumstance and know that she's there because of you, but you did not do something bad. if you had fired her bc she put dc in an outfit with shoes that dodn't match, that would be a different story.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]she sounds irresponsible. i would pick my battles with former nanny. as long as she kept dc safe, i would forgive the laziness, tv and other stuff. but your sitter did not keep dc safe based on all your complaints so let it go. finally i woke up when dc was 19 months and chose daycare which totally changed our lives for the better fwiw
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]because regardless that she deserved it you are still compassionate..with the economy she's jobless.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Usually when you make a decision and feel sick about it, you've made the wrong decision.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op-but my son could have been killed. As a mom of two who works a different schedule than my husband, I certainly have to leave them unsupervised from time to time as I am on my own with the two of them regularly. I make sure it's not in an open space with moving cars, though. 10 seconds in my baby-proofed living room is different than open access to moving traffic, I think
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: Sorry, but I completely disagree. You can make the right decision for your family, but still be sympathetic for the nanny's situation / loss of income. And for some people (myself included), that much sympathy can make you feel sick. You did the right thing, OP, and i think it would be nice for you to offer her 1 week severance even though it was for cause. It will make you feel better and give her a little cushion. GL, hope you find a better nanny soon.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You feel sick because you have not been in the position of firing someone, especially someone your son is attached to. But its a job for her... and if she cannot abide by your rules, she needs to go. My nanny isn't allowed to use TV or do things I deem dangerous. Other stuff she does I don't care for I ignore (she loves shopping, and will keep him strapped in the stroller for an hour in a warm jacket or so while she browses aisles). You can't have it all... but she has to know what is NOT allowed and she cannot cross the line. You'll find someone else quickly, don't worry.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Look, I'm fairly relaxed generally but a 19mo old in the driveway is BAD judgment. Yes, it is hard to carry a toddler back and forth while carrying bags etc. But safety has to come first. She doesn't sound like a great sitter. I can understand that you feel bad but you can do better.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: could she not have kept 19 mo strapped into car seat? or put him in the house in a "safe" room with a gate?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]she was just here and i just told her that i can't expect her to never leave him alone inside the house but in the driveway with access to traffic is just not something i can get past
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Give her the severance pay. Whether or not you made the right choice in firing her, the severance pay is a humane thing to do, will be financially meaningful to her, and will make you feel better. I don't think it's even a close call.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Agree. I'd also put in writing WHY you fired her and enclose that with severance--you want to avoid calls for a reference (and nanny might otherwise think that since you're coughing up severance, you might lie and say she was OK).
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I told her i wouldn't be a reference for nanny jobs, but that I could recommend her to clean. I think if someone asks about nannying I don't know what I'd do.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You'd tell them what happened. Look, you're going to hire another nanny, right? How would you feel if you found out someone told you the new nanny was fine/good when really she nearly let a toddler run out in traffic?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITA - I posted yesterday you should fire her but I think it is the right thing to pay her severance. She was unacceptably irresponsible but not malicious (not like if she was stealing from you, which my sister had to deal with).
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You totally did the right thing, and you are clearly a thoughtful person. It sucks to fire people even when they deserve it but your child's welfare is more important. Honestly, all of the other things your nanny did were also worthy of firing over time anyway. I'm not sure if she DESERVES a severance, but it will make you feel better and can insure against negative backlash. You're actually doing her a favor by not acting as a reference because there's no way you could honestly recommend her. I'd say you handled the whole thing well. (Unusual for this board.)
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Just heard from Twin Parks Montessori (infant daycare) via email if any of you are wa...
Talk : : February 13, 2009
Just heard from Twin Parks Montessori (infant daycare) via email if any of you are waiting. It was good news for us...as if paying over $20,000 in fees can be considered good news. (And if you want to flame me for considering daycare for an infant, go ahead, but I won't respond. Thanks!)
[ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.13.09, 08:30 AM [ Flag ]
[+] The peanut hysteria at our daycare has reached new heights. Apparently, some parents... 6 replies
Talk : : February 13, 2009
The peanut hysteria at our daycare has reached new heights. Apparently, some parents distributed candy with the valentines which were to be taken home (not consumed at school), and one piece was found to have "peanut residue." The school is now sending out a flurry of letters bowing and scraping. Isn't it the parent's job to make sure that the kid isn't eating something toxic?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.13.09, 06:36 AM [ Flag ]what is peanut residue and how does one find it?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have no idea. Thankfully, my kid doesn't have a peanut allergy, but if she did, you bet your bottom dollar I'd know and take responsibility for making sure the kid didn't eat anything with it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]and how exactly would you do this with a three year old who is in school when you are not there?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 07:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Read more closely: the candy was distributed at school to be consumed at home.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 10:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm guessing it means the non-peanut-containing candies were manufactured in the same factory as peanut-containing candies, and captured some of the residue.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 07:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
there is a no peanut policy at our school. but what's residue?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 07:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] If go to pre-k at CG or Trevor can you reapply for K at tt like Dalton etc. or is tha... 11 replies
- a really tough spot to be in. I would really reconsider staying at preschool or doing a year of public K instead of trying to make that kind of move. Don't know anyone at Dalton K now who came from ongoing preK although a few from daycare, public K and G&T....
Talk : : February 13, 2009
If go to pre-k at CG or Trevor can you reapply for K at tt like Dalton etc. or is that a really bad idea? Would the administration hate someone who did that?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.13.09, 03:43 AM [ Flag ]CGPS will hate for that..they'll get really pissed
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 04:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]why?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 05:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: Because it is ridiculous to get into the school and start applying out the moment you get there. If you don't think you want to stay at least for a few years, why come to begin with?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]we might be in the same predicament. applying for pre-k but there are a few schools we really like which don't offer it. who knows, though, if we'll get a spot in K next year. so as a back-up, we applied to pre-ks and if we get in we'll go there next year and might try to switch to the K at the school we really like. otherwise we'll stay put where we are. just not sure how they will take it, given that we'll need a school report... so not sure yet how this is going to work out. but staying in preschool for another year and then risk to end up in public 1st is not a good option either...
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Ongoing schools tend to take kids who don't have places already into their K.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 05:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You can, of course, do anything you want to do. However, if you are already in an ongoing school, you won't have any help/support from the director. I think the general feeling is that if you take a spot in one of the ongoings, it is because you really want to be there...not just for a year, but longer term.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 05:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree that it's a really tough spot to be in. I would really reconsider staying at preschool or doing a year of public K instead of trying to make that kind of move. Don't know anyone at Dalton K now who came from ongoing preK although a few from daycare, public K and G&T.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yes it is. PreK at an ongoing is much more expensive than regular preK, and why would you start applying out the minute you get in is beyond me. I can't imagine any school would like it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 05:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ha! What do you think they will write in your school report????? They will bomb you. This plan is terrible. Your kid won
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:18 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^ sorry, entered too fast. Meant that your kid won't get in anywhere and then you will be left at CG with weird feelings of betrayal on both sides......with a price tag of $30k. Please don't do this.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Wait until middle school unless you're really unhappy, or the schools suddenly get easy to get into. If you get into a one of those preks, and you like the school, you should just take it and make your peace with it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Have job interview I am excited about. Bottom salary range is 40K, which I would norm... 14 replies
- A publicly funded after school program or publicly funded daycare? Hire a teenager?...
- You'll figure it out. Public daycare is usually on a sliding scale and in tiers for low income and...you'll pay the highest fee which is still considerably lower than private daycares or private after school programs....
Talk : : February 12, 2009
Have job interview I am excited about. Bottom salary range is 40K, which I would normally sneer at, but everything is SO different now. But how the f* can I manage afterschool? My youngest of 3 is in PreK. Had a nanny share but had to give it up when I lost my job. Any ideas? Be great if gov't would consider the demise of the mom/nanny part of the economy in their big picture.
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.12.09, 06:42 PM [ Flag ]home daycare for youngest until public pre-k and then do afterschool.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]A publicly funded after school program or publicly funded daycare? Hire a teenager?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Youngest is in public PreK, but I don't know of any publicly funded afterschools. I live in Park Slope. W/ Dh making 95K (crap in the UB world) I don't know that we would be eligible. I can't believe as a well-educated person I can't figure out how to make this work! Jesus, I should divorce & go on welfare.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You'll figure it out. Public daycare is usually on a sliding scale and in tiers for low income and middle income. If you go over the scales they use, usually you'll pay the highest fee which is still considerably lower than private daycares or private after school programs.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
After you spend money on getting to and rom work, lunch, dry cleaning your clothes misc and any type of childcare that costs you anything - you will be left w/almost nothing...why do this?????? 40K is like 28 take home - 2.5K/mo.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Lot's of families in NYC live off this size salary. I'm assuming OP has a husband with income. But correct me if I'm wrong. I've taken this type of salary for a dream job with lots of potential and knew I would have to be frugal and savvy about money for a little while.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you will have to take subways, pack lunch, and find family to watch dc....to see any $$
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op I took subways & packed lunch when I made 100K. No family in these parts...
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I take subways and try to pack a lunch though I usually forget and my family is in florida, so I pay a group babysitter 125 per week who I swear is an angel in human form. Don't live in subsidized housing and don't receive any government help. I think New York is filled with families like me and you just strive and survive and with a little bit of luck you can catch a break. It's definitely a balancing act and I don't get my suits from Prada more like Strawberry's. You figure it out.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Meaning I figure it out. Somehow. LOL.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:08 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
http://www.nyc.gov/html/acs/html/child_care/child_care.shtml
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]The link for NYC Child Care & Head Start. Worth a look. They do have income and social eligibility guidelines, but with so many people hurting in this recession, don't assume you won't qualify.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]http://www.ocfs.state.ny.us/ccfs_facilitysearch/ This is to search for day care in your area.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Oh, and ask around your neighborhood about group babysitting or group daycare. Do you ever see a group of moms in the morning dropping off their DCs at the same house? Or a nice slightly older lady on the block who takes care of neighborhood children? Usually those types of situations are much less pricey childcare options.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Anyone ever buy stamps with DCs name to mark clothes for daycare or camp? Where did y... 2 replies
Talk : : February 12, 2009
Anyone ever buy stamps with DCs name to mark clothes for daycare or camp? Where did you order from?
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.12.09, 10:45 AM [ Flag ]itsminelabels.com
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 10:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. the link wasn't right, but i did find itsmineusa.com which is just what i needed.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 11:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] So who fired a nanny? How do you do it/what did you say? How much notice? Did you giv... 29 replies
- I did, b/c wasn't happy with her and was transitioning dd to daycare; even though wasn't happening for a couple of months. I hired a college student to sit thru the summer. I told her...was affecting her work and she was constantly asking to borrow $$$. I told her we decided to send our dd to daycare and that she (nanny) would benefit from working longer hours with more pay for another family; and I'd be happy to...
Talk : : February 12, 2009
So who fired a nanny? How do you do it/what did you say? How much notice? Did you give severance? TIA.
29 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.12.09, 06:48 AM [ Flag ]Is it for reason, or just change in family circumstances?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Both really. Partly our fault. The job has changed since DS is in school more often. We've asked her to do more housework and through attitude and behavior she has not done it. Also we are expecting another child and I don't think she can handle it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]But should I tell her those things, or just be general and say we found someone else/not working out,e tc.?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Be general. No need to create animosity.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA. We had the same issue with our nanny when she changed resp. when DCs in school. We eventually told her our circumstances were changing (wanted a part time nanny instead), and it was time to let her go. I didn't go into our disappointment in the change in her attitude, lack of housecleaning etc. But then again, she was a fantastic nanny before the circumstances changed. I think she'll be better off with a family that needs her full time for infants...
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: i think this change is one that nannies anticipate and don't like for the most part. they want to be ft caregivers. unfortunately in a tough job market, it can be hard to find a new job so they suck up the change in job description while acting unprofessionally. it IS disappointing if she's been with you for a long time, OTOH I do understand why they don't want to do it, and we as parents don't really WANT to let go the trustworthy caretaker.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I feel like I dread dealing with her and she hates me. I don't need that kind of disrespect and discomfort in my own home. Next time around I will be straightforward about what the job entails, and the candidate can take it or leave it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
If you have any doubts about her trustworthiness I would sit her down on Friday, say job is terminated immediately ask for keys and give severance and letter of recommendation. That is what we did when we need to fire a nanny. She did not do anything HORRIBLE nor did she ever steal, but she had bad attitude and when I was home on leave with #2 really got true sense for her and her lack of warmth. Kept everything non-personal told her DH was going part time and we no longer needed full time help, which was true.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
We actually moved while our nanny was on a 2 week vacation and changed all of our phone numbers and never told her.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Classy.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I hope this is a joke.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
GF had her doorman break the news to her nanny. He stopped her at the door, refused her entry and handed her a severance check.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Those people don't deserve to have employees if they can't behave like adults.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]That is so lame, obviously she cannot handle being an employer.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you don't know what the nanny did to deserve that.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Even if she did something horrible, her employer should have the guts to fire her herself, not delegate it to a doorman. That is just ridiculous. Can you imagine if your boss had your security guard fire you?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
inexcuseable
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I did, b/c wasn't happy with her and was transitioning dd to daycare; even though wasn't happening for a couple of months. I hired a college student to sit thru the summer. I told her the truth basically, in a very nice, diplomatic way, and gave her 2 wks severance.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what did you say and what was her reaction? FWIW she is very warm and loving with DS, but I feel she is slacking in the other areas - esp. with the inability to balance 2 (that is my gut). I want to get someone else in here before #2 arrives so DS can form a bond with her.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR, my nanny was going thru a lot of personal issues and was affecting her work and she was constantly asking to borrow $$$. I told her we decided to send our dd to daycare and that she (nanny) would benefit from working longer hours with more pay for another family; and I'd be happy to give a recommendation. I gave her severance vs. notice, figuring if she were smart would take the $$ and look for work right away. She didn't.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]so - wait - you kept her longer?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
NP - Believe me, once you do this, you will feel so much better. Some nannies are just better with infants and no so good at realizing or wanting to deal with the fact that if they want to keep their job, they need to change with the family. FWIW, having gone through this, it is a good question to ask references of future nannies, is she better with infants/toddlers/preschoolers/school age. Was she will to change with family changes.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Exactly. Flexibility is key. I have changed my job resonsibilities 3 times this year = just to keep a job. I expect the same from her. FWIW she is about 60 years old and quite proud. She is marking her territory.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Also - do you let her say goodbye to DS? Tell her 2 more weeks, etc.?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]my fear is - she sometimes has these emotional outbreaks - I don't want her to cry in front of DS
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I fired a nanny for misconduct, on the spot. I came home from work unexpectedly and found her in our master bedroom while db was napping. My drawers had been rifled through. We had been missing small things but assumed it was our general disorganization. I started screaming at her "get the fuck out, get the fuck out right now, I don't every want to see you again." Locked the door and changed the locks that day.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Our current nanny is fantastic but it took a while to trust her. I put a nanny cam in the apartment and explained why.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 07:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well - THAT I can understand!!! DId she steal anything?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
We've done it once. Say as little as possible about the reason if it relates to performance. You don't want to get into an argument. We just said: "We feel it's time for a change" (after 4 years). If it is for financial reasons, I would just say that. Do it on a Friday, give two weeks pay and ask her to give keys back and not come back in on Monday.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] My name is Abigail and I am currently seeking a position that can offer full time hou...
Talk : : February 12, 2009
My name is Abigail and I am currently seeking a position that can offer full time hours. I have 5 years experience as a nanny taking care of newborns, toddlers and school aged children. I have worked in a daycare and for families in the city. I also have experience taking care of multiples. I am college educated with a degree in Education and I am currently pursuing an Accounting degree from Baruch College. I am patient, relaible, responsible and trustworthy. I am also available to do housekeeping such as laundry, making beds and general tidying of the home. Please feel free to contact me at 718 810 4459 for further information. Thanks
[ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.12.09, 05:26 AM [ Flag ]
[+] I think octuplet mom wants to be Angelina Jolie. 35 replies
- her. but she's educated, seems great with kids, and other than a small mental healthy issue, would be great at operating a daycare)...
- are you serious?! she is a total psycho. nothing she says makes sense. open a daycare?? wow....
Talk : : February 11, 2009
I think octuplet mom wants to be Angelina Jolie.
35 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.11.09, 05:33 PM [ Flag ]I can't believe she denies plastic surgery! They had tons of "before" pics of her, she was actually pretty without the weird lips.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]She obviously needs help..mental that is. She seems to have issues deeper than she can admit. Bring 14 children into this world and thinking we're all going to dig into our pocket and pity her is insane. I feel sad for the kids.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: i actually agree/sympathize with a lot of her statements. the thing that really made me feel she wasn't being realistic was her saying she'll get a job and make money with no problem. what kind of job is she going to get that will pay for childcare for eight kids. it's going to be four years before they are in school, even p/t. if i were her, i'd hire a couple of assistants and open up a daycare. (i, personally, would not send my kids to her. but she's educated, seems great with kids, and other than a small mental healthy issue, would be great at operating a daycare)
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOL, I wouldn't have thougt of that. Do you always see the glass half full?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]are you serious?! she is a total psycho. nothing she says makes sense. open a daycare?? wow.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA with you. I was completely turned around in a good way by her interview. so many kids live in deplorable and horrible conditions and are physically and emotionally abused. she seems to at least really love her kids and came across somewhat intelligent, even if she is a bit naive and overly optimistic.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]With all due respect, you are way off the chart. This is not about being optimistic v. pessimistic. Bringing 14 kids into this world without any kind of meaningful plan or resources is irresponsible and abusive. The doctor who facilitated this is equally irresponsible, greedy, and unethical.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes. And HE should foot the big for the whole brood.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]exactly. I'm the OR and agree dr was the one who acted totally and reprehensibly irresponsibly. His license should be pulled immediately. as for the mom, don't see why is she is being treated so differently than the duggars who are on DC #19. imho, she's a lot smarter and wants the kids for better reasons than those crazies.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]They pay their own way. She doesn't. BIG difference.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Exactly.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
would love to be a fly on the wall in the duggar's master bedroom. mrs: "get the f#&*#&$ away from me!"
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Hmmmm. And I saw her as manic and delusional. ANYONE can "be good with kids" while the cameras are rolling, by the way.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np from above: other than financially, she was managing the other kids just fine. that's not easy. i think her desire and decisions to do so many ivf's with so many embryos is alarming, to say the least. but so many of her other comments made a lot of sense to me. and again, her kids certainly seem happy.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]am convinced you are stupid. she is not managing her other kids. they live with her mom. her mom is paying for everything, plus food stamps, plus disability pay. "they seem happy"?? how could you possibly know that and/or imagine that being cramped in a three bedroom house.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she is not managing her finances at all. that's different than handling the kids. granted, i'm basing my opinion on a short clip from a tv program.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np Pretty sure Caylee Anthony's mom could pretend to be mother of the year in the context of a one hour interview (if her kid was still alive).
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
She has ***14*** kids, not 8.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I felt so bad for the older ones during the interview... they seem to be aware of how much more their lives are about to suck.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
but her idol, angelina jolie, has had tons of plastic surgery, too. she could just afford better doctors. (and actually, she's looking pretty creepy these days herself.)
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Would love to know where Octomom got the cash for all that plastic surgery in addition to her 7 IVFs.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]me too.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she got a settlement from a riot that took place at the psychiatric ward she used to work at.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Right. It was 165k. And she used it for living expenses and IVF and plastic surgery. Doesn't seem like enough.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ivf is 25K at the most per cycle. it's enough.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you honestly believe that she could afford plastic surgery, IVF treatments, clothing / feeding her children on roughly $18K a year? come on.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]her mother has been paying for daily living expenses. her 165 went solely to ivf and surgeries.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You mean, TAXPAYERS have been paying her living expenses.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
6 ivfs. one set of twins on ivf #5, and two sets on #6.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i think she just wants as much money and fame as possible.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wow, did you think that up yourself or did you read it on every single trashy magazine cover and hear it on every crap tv news whow?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]may be old news but that was the first thing I thought when I saw her photo.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]old, old news. every time a clip of her is introduced on tv, the talking head says, "miss suleman, who CLEARLY emulates angelina jolie...."
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]angelina jolie must really like that!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] my three year old will only eat pancakes - he wants them for breakfast lunch and dinn... 36 replies
- I get the "being played" part for sure, I know there are things he will eat at school (daycare) that he won't touch at home....
Talk : : February 11, 2009
my three year old will only eat pancakes - he wants them for breakfast lunch and dinner. I oblige of course because I want him to eat... is this wrong? bad? will he be a picky eater for life? or is this just a phase?
36 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.11.09, 12:49 PM [ Flag ]it's a phase...but he needs protein and veggies. Puree some veggies and mix into the pancake. Make it a veggie that's tasteless when cooked.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i am not op. but do you know that the nutritional value of cooked, smashed and "fried" with the pancakes veggies is pretty much nome. high temperature also kills the vitamins... you have to change the diet and not fool yourself adding useless veggies. adding proteing would work. give some fruit (fresh, not apple sauce) on the side. top pancakes with greek yogurt sweetened with GOOD quality honey (not the stuff that comes in the bear container).
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]so do your kids eat raw or lightly steamed veg? And how do you get them to eat it?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np Mine do. 3 yo and soon to be 7 yo. I serve, they eat.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, they do not love it. they eat little of it, so I try to compensate with other items fresh, like fruits, for example. not only bananas and berry, but a wide range that includes mango, kiwis, papayas, etc. i do cook veggies, but i know that they are not doing much in terms of nutrition. i give them lots of grains, from quinoa to lentils and beans, which offer nutritional value when cooked. good luck
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I agree that you should give fruits, ect..but if OPs kid won't eat anything else, why not try to smuggle some veggies inside
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]becasue it doesn't teach him to like veggies, or even try them, adn the nutritional impact is very small.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well you got me. I think hiding them is something until he learns to like them. Better little nutritional value than none at all
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]there is no impact. do not fool yourself.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]how is this better than jsut giving him a multi-vitamin?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITA. And it's such a negligible amount as to be worthless. That Jessica Seinfeld book is such a crock o' nonsense. Lot of effort for nothing.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Totally agree on that. 1/4 cup puree in an entire recipe. Stupid.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
its a phase but you shold be at least offring other foods. and if it were me, i woudlnt be whipping up his special food for every meal. but that's your choice.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]If you didn't do the shortorder cook thing, he'd eat something else. Since you choose to do this, he won't. You're being played--and the pickiness will get worse. I know a kid who would only eat white food (so that's what his mom served him) in preschool. Still the same at 7 yo.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]uggg... my 8 and 13 yo cousin will only eat chicken fingers and microwave pizza respectively... my aunt has done this for years. Your kid won't starve himself to death in protest, only serve him real food.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op - we offer all kinds of veg and fruit options, he will eat bananas, but the rest - no way... we end up throwing away so much food... I get the "being played" part for sure, I know there are things he will eat at school (daycare) that he won't touch at home.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]just do not have bananas around. i agree that you may waste food (it also hurts me), but offer him the food. sit with him during the meal and that is not. you do not want, you will not eat. have you tried fage yogurt with honney. it is very good, it is like ice cream. in the yogurt you can add fresh processed pears or his loved banana. have an open mind.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: Why do you need to throw away food? Can't you eat the food he doesn't want? If you won't, chances are it's not edible or tasty.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]it is a good point. but i see what op is saying. but you are right that i would love to eat all the food my dcs eat. i cannot because i am 40 and need to watch the calories. so i say (with a tear in my eye) to the fresh, from scratch oat meal with fresh bananas and strawberry pure i make them in the morning.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]oatmeal wiwth fruit is a good breakfast for you too.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]lets not get there. if i eat this in the morning, carb cravings kill me during the day. but i agree it is nutritious and good for you.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]so offer them soemthing you like, or that will keep.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i am not op. i offer oatmeal with fruit to dcs and they eat it. they actually love it. i would love to eat the occasional leftovers, but do not because of carb craving issue.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
why do you throw it away? put it on the table. if he doens't eat it, someone else can.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]chicken drowning in his water or juice isn't that appetizing
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]so, he asks for it, and then drowns it?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no, we offer it (in lieu of pancakes) and he plays with it - then whines for pancakes.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]don't put it on his plate unless he asks for it. serve family style. and when he whines, you sy, thsi is what's for dinner. he will not starve.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
no juice with a meal, for starts!!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]dh started that one. He is the juice man. I am water girl.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]try to take this out of dcs diet. it is not necessary and in the case of you dc, juice may worsen his food issues - since he can rely on juice for filling up
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
throw graded carrots and apples in them
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]God please stop doing this. I have a kid at my house right now who is 7 years old and I couldn't find anything he was willing to eat for lunch... mac and cheese, grilled cheese, pb&j, turkey sandwhiches, quesadillas, cheese and crackers, yogurt... seriously he keeps asking me for white bread with butter and I just don't have white bread. Don't let your kid turn into this kid!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOL! you just listed 1/4 of the items that we have tried over and over... I know, we have got to cut this out.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
If I were your kid, and you made me pancakes three meals a day, that's all I would eat, too. If not for a desire to be healthy, or be thin, or whatever, it's what many of us would choose. Why should he bother trying veggies if he knows you'll cave and give him pancakes? My kids eat a ton of veggies, raw and cooked. They do this because it's what I've always served. They've gone through phases of refusing stuff, but they've never starved themselves. When kids get hungry enough, they'll eat what's available.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]start him reading Nate the Great books early, he will find a soul mate
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 04:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Ugh.. starting to get depressed. I'm so unmotivated in my job, feeling guilty about ... 8 replies
- kids. I would feel horrible if I lost my job and had to take him out of daycare, he loves it and he is 3...
- ITTA. DD is 1. DH got laid off in Dec. We have to take DD out of daycare in the next few weeks and I'm absolutely heartbroken. She loves it so much....
- and feel this way. My job is not regular 9-5, so I cannot even have db in daycare part time....
Talk : : February 11, 2009
Ugh.. starting to get depressed. I'm so unmotivated in my job, feeling guilty about dd in daycare, and now pg with #2. We don't make enough for me to stop working and I know I should be happy that I have work at all. I hate being in this funk.
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.11.09, 11:58 AM [ Flag ]well i am not pg w/#2 but I can relate to the work part. I have a 10mo dd and wish i were home with her. I cannot seem to feel greatful for that i have a job. It used to be a job I really liekd when economic tiems were good and I didn't have a db at home. I just cannot stop thinking each day how I wish I weren't here. I pretty much get close to tears every day I'm here.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]As they get older you will appreciate being at work, how much time can you go to the park etc. It is good for them to be with kids. I would feel horrible if I lost my job and had to take him out of daycare, he loves it and he is 3
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]my db is with other babies every day but it is my nanny who gets the joy of being with her (not that I am sure there aern't frustrating times too). Rather than be at home versus a job i no longer enjoy
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITTA. DD is 1. DH got laid off in Dec. We have to take DD out of daycare in the next few weeks and I'm absolutely heartbroken. She loves it so much.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITD - My kids are 5 and 6 and I think the working mom thing has only gotten harder as they have gotten older. With a young kid they just need lots of warm and fun. When they are older they are more emotional, have tons of homework, and really need YOU.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]this seems to be the case--my two year old and one on the way seems to be working out fine in day care--i am worried more when they get older--so hopefully working now means I can work less in the furture
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
sorry to bring you down, but my youngest is 5 and I am still in that funk. Can't quit. Primary wage earner
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I work from home and feel this way. My job is not regular 9-5, so I cannot even have db in daycare part time.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Families of 4 of Manhattan - how much do you spend on groceries per month? 27 replies
- Family of 3, about $600 Fresh Direct. DH gets free lunch at work, I would spend another $40-50 on work lunch (what was I thinking - prerecession blues), DD gets lunch and snacks at daycare, and then maybe several hundred dollars on some takeout meals/diner. But I'm shifting away from lunch out and takeout big time....
Talk : : February 11, 2009
Families of 4 of Manhattan - how much do you spend on groceries per month?
27 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.11.09, 06:53 AM [ Flag ]We are a family of 5, but generally spend about $1000/month on Fresh Direct.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]we're in the same boat
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:05 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
500-700, not counting months in which we have a party of some kind. We spent $200 on food for a Christmas party, so about that much extra maybe 5 times a year.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]how many times a week do you eat out?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]my question exactly. family of three here, we don't eat out at all (three meals a day at or from home), and we spend $500 to $600 a month.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]one more kid doesn't make much difference.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
We order in on Fridays only. Other than that I cook and not much in the way of prepared food. This covers all three meals for all of us, btw. Dh and I bring lunch and we all eat breakfast at home. And the 2 dc are two tween boys, so the eat A LOT
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]something isn't right here...either you don't live in Manhattan, or you're not being honest with yourselves about how much you're spending. that's way too low.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: we're a family of four, eat out/take out rarely and do it for this also. I do have to say TJ's is the way we do it. FD and Food Em or D'ags would cost us a lot more. We get some things from Gristedes but use a discount card there. I track what we spend on quicken so I know.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What's TJ's? I track everything thru Quicken too - shop mostly at Fairway/FD and in an emergency, Whole Foods.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Trader Joe's on 14th
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Wow. I am going to try that for a month and see if I can drop our grocery bills!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]go early in the day it gets very crowded.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]how early
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]before noon
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Buying meat is what sinks our budget. How is TJ's meat quality?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
NP, we do it on about 600. Costco, look for sales at 3/4 different grocery stores, rarely if ever order take out.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Where do you shop? I would love to drop my grocery bill to what you are paying.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I do a lot of FD, but also the Farmers Market, D'Agostinos and Food Emporium.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
450. Family of 4.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Family of 3, about $600 Fresh Direct. DH gets free lunch at work, I would spend another $40-50 on work lunch (what was I thinking - prerecession blues), DD gets lunch and snacks at daycare, and then maybe several hundred dollars on some takeout meals/diner. But I'm shifting away from lunch out and takeout big time.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Family of 4: $1250
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]whoa nelly! where do you shop?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Lot of organic produce, very few branded items, mostly fresh meats/vegs/fruits/grains. Mostly at Fairway, which is 30% less than WF. I need to try Trader Joe's!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
family of 3. 1000/mth. i love to cook and we order in only 2-3 times a month, all meals except dh's lunch are eaten at home
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]$1600. Family of 4. No take-out, no ordering in; we eat out twice a month. DH and I make every meal from scratch, primarily using organic fruits and vegetables (no meat or dairy, very little processed food). Shop mostly at the Farmer's Market, sometimes at TJ or WF.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]family of 3 in brooklyn: $400 for organic groceries, but have to do the park slope food coop dance.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I am just so sick of the "gifted" label. After having been in the NYC school system (... 18 replies
- frankly, i always think of gifted as a term used for kids that have been in accelerated daycare and pre-k programs, as opposed to kids that play in pre-k 8 hrs/wk or have not attended pre-k at all prior to K. that's all....
Talk : : February 10, 2009
I am just so sick of the "gifted" label. After having been in the NYC school system (public and private TT) for ten years, no one caters to your "gifted" child. If you want someone to fawn or challenge your dc's brilliance you will have to do it yourself.
18 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.10.09, 03:54 PM [ Flag ]Not sure what point you're trying to make
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 03:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]they have special needs and frankly, are pretty much swept aside by the system
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]frankly, i always think of gifted as a term used for kids that have been in accelerated daycare and pre-k programs, as opposed to kids that play in pre-k 8 hrs/wk or have not attended pre-k at all prior to K. that's all.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]oh. so you don't think it has anything to do with the processing going on the dc's head? Maybe you have not been around a dc who is actually gufted then
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hullo, in NYC being gifted means doing well on a test on a given day, whether prepped or not. Truly gifted need not apply.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Totally depends what pool of "gifted" you are talking about. DC is at Hunter, and I would say that there are some in our grade who are truly gifted, and others who are "very very smart, tested well, got in". But none of them are average. There is nothing wrong with average; DC has lots of friends from outside the school who are, but they would be struggling if at Hunter.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hunter does not cater to highly gifted dcs, they also teach to the middle albeit a very high middle.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I had an impression that Hunter couldn
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^couldn't and wouldn't be able to handle truly gifted children. Am I wrong? Like children ahead several grades etc...
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that is correct. however, it is still a great place to park your kid if he/she is gifted. the peer group is really nice.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Friends ds there, now in HS. Was moved up 2 grades for math in elementary.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Only in math?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know of a couple of kids who did that at Hunter
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
NP: Actually, I believe they can. As the other poster wrote, they do accelerate for math starting in the elementary grades if the child really needs it. Also every 5th grader takes a math test and a few, if any, are invited to skip 6th grade math and start with 7th grade math. As for other subjects, it's not really necessary to skip ahead.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why do you say that?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
It's not about "catering" as in some sort of completely individualized instruction. It's about there being enough challenge in the material and having it presented at a stimulating pace. I don't know where you get the idea that schools tailor make curriculums for kids. They might throw a little extra work in there or occaisionally bump a kid up a grade for one subject (i.e. math), but soup-to-nuts individualized teaching, no way.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you would not believe the number of parents who came up on day 1 of school to let the teacher know how "gifted" their child was.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm sure they quickly learned that their kid was now one of many in a class and that if they wanted special acceleration, they'd have to pursue it at home. I've seen it happen before. 2 kids both went to citywides and now in Specialized HS's.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] DD (14 mo) has lots of teeth coming in and refused to eat much of anything for the pa... 1 reply
Talk : : February 10, 2009
DD (14 mo) has lots of teeth coming in and refused to eat much of anything for the past 2 days and daycare just called to say that she has a temperature of 101. Is this normal for teething or we need to take her to the doc?
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.10.09, 12:11 PM [ Flag ]Totally normal. Just treat with motrin and tylenol and watch her. Is she acting like herself (just cranky because of the teething?) Then she's fine. If fever spikes or she starts acting "sick", call pedi.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Contracts at preschool are due next week, but we've decided not to send 3yo next year... 16 replies
- w/o my income and try not to go backwards is manageable only really without daycare or preschool fees if we stay in NYC b/c preschool costs so much here....a cheaper apartment. But for all my drama, I need to make $60K to cover daycare (and I have an MBA) and DH could get a small bonus and remain employed....
- Can you put them both at a place like the River School (daycare)? I think kids get a lot out of being with other kids....
Talk : : February 09, 2009
Contracts at preschool are due next week, but we've decided not to send 3yo next year. Our income has been slashed (no bonus) and I'm not sure it will ever come back. Anyone else in the same boat?
16 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.09.09, 06:37 AM [ Flag ]I thought letters weren't out until March - you still have time to decide
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Our income was also slashed but we don't have dc in school yet. We may have to leave city though. Not sure how to afford our place anymore. I'm so tired of ppl being so critical. DH is mid-level banker. Never made a ton. No 2nd home. No car. No nanny. 1 income. Own modest apartment on UWS. No yearly vacations. No hamptons share. just family trying to make ends meet in nyc and we've now been priced out with current mortgage.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Have you considered WOH? The 1 income part of your story is the part that strikes me.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]who is hiring these days? she'll have to make enought to cover for nanny etc.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was in the arts and it was actually cheaper for us for me to stay home then to pay for help. I don't know what I would do or who would hire me at this point.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
What are your plans for your child during the day?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: part-time nanny (also have a 18mo at home). i work part-time.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Can you put them both at a place like the River School (daycare)? I think kids get a lot out of being with other kids.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]good idea. definitely one option.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Sort of. We were lived way below our means in 2007 and 2008, but by September we will have a newborn and a 3 year old. I was laid off and am too pregnant to realistically get an offer for a while. DH could have no job by September OR just get his base OR have a base and a little bonus but no job for two years after that (who knows?). To live on his base w/o my income and try not to go backwards is manageable only really without daycare or preschool fees if we stay in NYC b/c preschool costs so much here.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: it's the uncertainty that is irritating to me. if i knew not to ever expect DH getting a bonus again, that'd be fine. we'd leave the UWS and set up a much cheaper life.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR. YES, exactly. Our lease is up for renewal and if I KNEW I couldn't get a job for 18 months AND DH was going to also get laid off, I would do the SAHM thing for that time and move to the suburbs where preschool is affordable or ride out the depression in a cheaper apartment. But for all my drama, I need to make $60K to cover daycare (and I have an MBA) and DH could get a small bonus and remain employed.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i go back and forth. my gut tells me that we need a radical re-organizing of our lives. cheaper rent and cheaper preschool (and probably cheaper child care costs too) would be a substantial chunk of our "missing" income and allow for a cushion if things get worse. it'd be a big change, though.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, same... But then I also feel like if I don't move somewhere with good schools we will have to move yet again in two years and I'm over 35 and want to feel settled.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
YES! I posted the thing below about this all being a little daydream when the reality is just being able to pay for school and stay in the city is not our reality
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, declined sibling spot at preschool we really liked because the tuition just got too expensive. Also paying tuition for DC#1 at private. DC#2 will be going to prek program at a catholic school for a fraction of the cost. PreK teachers seem nice at catholic school. Hopefully, it all works out.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] How much does preschool tuition for a 3 year old run on the UES? DCs are in daycare,... 3 replies
- That sounds like a good plan, depending on how long the waitlist is to get the baby back into daycare when the time comes that you need it again!...
Talk : : February 09, 2009
How much does preschool tuition for a 3 year old run on the UES? DCs are in daycare, but I got laid off and it's getting expensive to keep them there w/o two incomes. I might have to pull them out, keep baby home and send older one to preschool instead for a few hours until I get something in like nine months!
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.09.09, 06:34 AM [ Flag ]Anyone know?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]That sounds like a good plan, depending on how long the waitlist is to get the baby back into daycare when the time comes that you need it again!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm not sure UES specifically, but in general I think tuition can run from $5K to $25K - depending on local/small non-ISAAGNY, Religious (Catholic parochial, etc), top tier, etc. You really have to get a book and/or join parents league to understand the various costs and programs. GL
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] My darling, hispanic,obese child -SB46,ERB46,OLSAT46 will be applying out of the proj... 9 replies
Talk : : August 15, 2008
My darling, hispanic,obese child -SB46,ERB46,OLSAT46 will be applying out of the projects daycare for K. Do you think the TTs will like the consistency of the scores and give my kid a spot? Also, will we have to leave our Section 8-5br apartment if she gets in, or give up food stamps and Medicaid? I'd hate to stop living off of all of you; Thanks for all the Happy Meals!
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.15.08, 07:42 PM [ Flag ]huh?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Too Funny!!!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LMAO
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]So NOT funny...
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh, so someone actually gets it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why did he take SB for? Applied to Hunter?
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 06:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITA. not sure which makes me sicker, that OP actually wrote this or that there is more than one person who finds it funny. I hope this whole post is deleted.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 08:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
this post is really offensive and racist. deleter, where are you?
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 10:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]How dare you play the fat card!
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 10:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] 3.5 mo is still in our bed and am trying to get him out. cant get him down unless we ... 6 replies
- your question - we started a bedtime routine at 2 months and it really helped. what's his bedtime routine? when DS gets home from daycare, he bf's then naps for 1 to 1.5 hours. then we keep him up until 8 or 9pm, and when he starts showing...
- also, how many naps is he getting and for how long? the daycare give my ds 2 naps for ~2hours each. so ds gets 3 naps a day for a total of 5 to 6 hours....
Talk : : August 15, 2008
3.5 mo is still in our bed and am trying to get him out. cant get him down unless we go to bed, which is around 11, and then he sleeps till 10-11am. hes a great sleeper when hes down, but he is wide eyed until around 11. how do i change this, start waking him up early one morning?
6 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.15.08, 07:40 AM [ Flag ]no naps after 3pm, and he will go to sleep earlier.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op-sometimes i can get him to sleep around 6:30-7 but he wakes up about 1/2 hr later and then is up until 10-11. he is starting to get cranky around that time and i know hes tired but child will not sleep, its like hes fighting it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]my DS is same age as yours. (ur so lucky he sttn!! i'm jealous!) back to your question - we started a bedtime routine at 2 months and it really helped. what's his bedtime routine? when DS gets home from daycare, he bf's then naps for 1 to 1.5 hours. then we keep him up until 8 or 9pm, and when he starts showing signs of fussiness and starts to get hungry, we bathe him. after bath, he gets his night feeding, and this usually keeps him asleep until about 2am, when he needs another feeding. then he's up at 5 or 6am.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]also, how many naps is he getting and for how long? the daycare give my ds 2 naps for ~2hours each. so ds gets 3 naps a day for a total of 5 to 6 hours.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op-napping is another issue, he only will nap for about 30-45 mins at a stretch. this doesnt seem to affect his mood thru the day until around 8pm when he starts to get cranky but wide awake. sometimes i can get him to fall asleep in my arms but then as soon as i put him down hes wide eyed again. there doesnt seem to be any gray with him. btw-hes not sleeping thru the night, he still wakes up about 2x to feed, but hes in our bed still (working on that one too...) so doesnt fully wake up when he's eating.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]wow - i dont really know how else to help. but i wanted to let you know that we cosleep too! i used to be so against it - before i had a baby! then i realized that he would sleep much better next to us. recently we started trying to part-time cosleep by putting him in his crib until his first night feeding, but found that we missed him a lot! so now he's back in our bed full time. haha. i hope you find a solution soon - maybe others on UB can help!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] So parents of allergic children. Who wants to join me in educating fellow parents abo... 136 replies
- widespread food allergies are-- you should not pack something that will cause serious harm to a child. My ds goes to daycare where they have pretty strict rules about allergies and I really don't find it to be such a big problem...
- and how many kids are in that daycare? The post you responded to is talking about schools with hundreds of children. How are you going to protect your child...
Talk : : August 15, 2008
So parents of allergic children. Who wants to join me in educating fellow parents about food allergies? I had a major fight last yr with both parents and teacher, I think mostly due to lack of knowlage. As the school yr starts we will see the issue start all over again.
136 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.15.08, 07:28 AM [ Flag ]can you email me at info@tutorsnewyork.com ?? I am trying to organize a meeting with elected officials to get some type of legislation to recognize this is a serious issue - I too have a daughter that has a food/peanut allergy - just tested again last month with a higher level in her blood
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]legislation? How do you envision this to be?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]we have menus now that tell us how many calories are in the food, but we do not have menus that tell us if the food came in contact with peanuts or was cooked in peanut oil, something that can cause immediate health consequences to those allergic - the same can be said for other food allergies - we
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't really pay attention to this but isn't this already required by law? Most places post a sign somewhere about allergens.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NOPE - never seen a sign, we have to ask everywhere we go to dinner how they cook their food, etc...
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I will email you later, I am currently on a steering committee with elected officials of NYC but not for allergies for Asthma, but I am trying to push the topic in. As for me my sons both have allegies to food. My older son is allergic to Dairy. My younger son is allergic yes allergic to eggs, soy, wheat, beef, Dairy, peanuts, beans. SO I bring all his food, I really want to get the word out. I am by trade in the health area I deal with Asthma, but I now feel I need to do both asthma and food allergies, I am really working on getting a meeting with people in the schools.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
As a parent with non-allergic kids, I think the first thing you need to do is include testing and re-testing criteria in any legislation. So many of the hyper involved parents in my neck of the woods (Park Slope) use the word allergy in place of dislike that it makes it really hard to be sensitive to those very rare but very serious cases of a kid with true food allergies.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:47 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]What's the diff? If there is one highly-allergic kid, everyone needs to follow hypoallergenic rules. 1 kid out of a 100 has a serious allergy, which means every school has several. It makes more sense to institute universal rules regardless of the number of kids who have a problem.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:54 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]1/100 has a serious allergy to what? Can you cite this? Again, I'm not saying that nobody is allergic and I'm not saying that we all ought not be attentive to the needs of those who are, BUT before you tell me my kid can't have the foods he wants/I want to give him -- you have to defend that.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I just posted above I am the mom with both kids allergic. and yes both are allergic, do I know how bad no. and that is the thing with food allergies you never can tell, you can have a mild reaction one time and then the next time you need an epi pen, there is no true answer.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR: I thought they measured antibodies and from that could tell how allergic someone is. That is what decides if a patient needs an Rx for an epi-pen or not. That is also how they find out if a child is no longer allergic to a food as they age. (Which is common.) Interesting aside, recent research shows that if a child who WAS allergic to peanuts becomes non-reactive... then you shoudl give them peanut butter regularly. It actually keeps the allergy at bay.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]FWIW the tests cannot predict the severity of an allergic response - for example my daughter has a very mild dairy allergy according to both skin and blood tests - but had a very serious reaction and because of that we now have an epipen.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]How long between blood test and this reaction?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Tests CANNOT tell you how mild or how bad an allergy is.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]so somebody with a high antibody count could have mild reactions and vice-a-versa? (I just read a journal article and it seemed like those counts were a really strong indicator of sensitivity. That is why I'm confused.)
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: strong indicator, but not an absolute indicator. There's still plenty of margin for error, and of course, the only foolproof way to know is to give them the food and see what happens (which obviously isn't something you should do.)
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]its a predictor, but for example my son had really low levels to soy Doc thought he would be fine turns out he got hives. My friends daughter ended up in the Er after they challenged her with dairy she had no numbers after having an allergy, Gave her some cheese and yogurt.2 hrs later she had to go to the ER. Other side of it my son has numbers to oat and corn.. yet eats it fine. so no you cant tell
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:10 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Do you continue to give him oat and corn? That article from John's Hopkins seems to suggest that (at least for peanuts) this helps keep allergy at bay.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes I do. even if he has numbers If he handles it there is no reason not to give.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
There has been a lot of debate about whether or not a food allergy is a disability covered under the ADA. The courts have been leaning in that direction and it would make good legal sense for schools to institute anti-allergen rules that apply to everyone. Sure, it is a PITA to screen your kids lunches for allergens, but you don't want to be responsible for harming another kid, right?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]This doesn't make sense at all! Until you agree that the kid who is prompting this screening has undergone a full battery of tests to show that this is warranted and there is a real risk of harm, I'll argue against this. Again, I'm not against making rules when there is a real and known risk.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^OR
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:30 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I think you need to learn more about how widespread food allergies are--http://www.foodallergy.org/downloads/FoodAllergyFactsandStatistics.pdf
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]No reply button to "I think you should..." FAAN (the group whose flyer you linked to) is largely funded by the makers of the EpiPen. They routinely cite bad information like, "Each year in the US it is estimated anaphylaxis caused by food results in 100 to 200 deaths." The research this is based on is flawed and the one death in the study was due to exercise induced anaphylaxis NOT food. When confronted, the head of FAAN said, "One child dying from food allergies is too many."
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ They only need to estimate it is because the actual information from the CDC does not make their case as strongly. About a dozen people (all ages) are known to have died from food allergies in the last year for which we have data.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ just to be clear, I am not against looking out for the kids (or adults) who need it, just the hype is way beyond the reality, imo.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no.. you read that dumb harpers article a few months ago. My ped was so pissed. I was clearly a pissed off mother.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]So cite journal articles/research which refute it. I did not stop reading after that article and again, I'm not saying nothing should be done. Just that if you want to change the behavior of every lunchroom in America, you have to offer more than a page from FAAN. I don't think this is an unreasonable request.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:38 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
You are splitting hairs and I really don't understand why you deny that there are kids with severe allergies that need help. Keep your head in the sand for all I care.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I did not believe most parents myself until it happened to me, older children do not have any allergies, then we have one that does - and it can be scary - she is tested every year - we hope she will either outgrow it or they will find a vacination...
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]See, you sound like the people I think of when I hear so many others abuse the word "allergy." Your kid is in a tough spot and those others are making it harder not easier. Is ds just allergic to peanuts or other things too?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]just peanuts, Thank GOD
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]g/l.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:03 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
Out of curiosity, what do you want the schools to do? I can understand banning peanut products because those allergies are airborne, but what else should they do? It seems to me that beyond that, it's the responsibility of the parent to provide meals, snacks and special event treats for their own dcs.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]one girl at my daughter's middle school sits at a special table because if she breathes in peanut dust (?) she gets hives and has difficulty breathing - no one with peanut butter is allowed to go near her.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]actually peanut is not the only one that is airborne, Eggs and dairy can be also. It also goes beyond supplying ones on food, Say kids had cheese doodles and have the orange stuff still on their hands and then the give a toy, hold hands etc with a dairy allergic child the potential for a reaction is there, so teachers and staff must learn how to cut that risk. And what to do incase of a reaction.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I truly do feel for you and other families in your situation, but you cannot expect a school to deal with a child who's allergic to airborne dairy. That would be nearly impossible. What would you have the teachers do, brush every kids' teeth after every snack and meal?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]The highly allergic child who is in class with one of mine had a full out reaction when holding the hand of a boy who had eaten Doritos about an hour prior. It was so scary and none of us initially knew what was the cause. The mother was not there but I happened to be there. It's a very difficult situation. We want to be sensitive, but we cannot regulate everything !
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Exactly. There's only so much a school can be expected to do - they can't wash every kid's hands and brush their teeth after every food item is consumed.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry, but that child needs to be homeschooled or in a special education class for kids with allergies or something.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
That is why dc wash their hands after lunch/snack
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you know how thorough kids are with this. It's important to learn in general for health reasons, but to place your child's life in the "hands" of 3, 4, 5, etc. year old hand washers is crazy, IMHO.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
So, what do you propose? I am not trying to be snarky here, but do you think schools should, in addition to being nut/peanut free, be dairy & egg free. If you do that then you are impinging upon the religious freedom of people whose dc are vegetarian & making life extremely difficult for others. I grew up with a severely allergic friend & it was worked out quit well without legislation & over-restriction. I am fine with peanut free policies, but banning many other things is going overboard.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think it was a totally fake post
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry mispost!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:55 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Testing
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
What happens when the food you give to your dc makes another kid deathly sick? Just the smell of a peanut butter cup can send some kids to the hospital. And kids can be bullies too--there have been stories about kids being smeared with peanut butter as a joke. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/AllergiesNews/story?id=4659705
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:19 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]A child that has such severe allergies does not belong in a public setting w/o help. Such children are special needs children.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
see this is a perfect example... Actual research on this has failed to find a reaction, even by highly allergic kids, to peanut fumes/inhalation. (J Allergy Clin Immunol. 2003 Jul;112(1):180-2. Relevance of casual contact with peanut butter in children with peanut allergy.)
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I accidentally posted to the school uniform post... But as a prent who wants to be as sensitive as possible, I think - and sadly - that there are some highly allergic children that cannot safely be with other children. We try and are really vigilant, but have scary moments with one child in particular with some frequency. As her parent I don't think I could send her to school with a clear conscience. What do you think should be done for super allergic children while still allowing other children to have some level of freedom and comfort. MY child (7 yo) witnessed one incident and was very upset.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I hear you, but I don't think that isolating these kids like lepers is the right thing to do, especially because there are so many of them. Just as there are rules about public smoking, there should be rules in school about allergenic foods. The freedom and comfort of non-allergenic kids will only be slightly compromised.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's not true at all! If eggs, dairy and peanuts are airborne allergies as suggested above, it would be nearly impossible to make it an allergen free environment
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]see the article above. These are apocryphal stories.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I certainly don't want them "isolated like lepers" but if the danger is as great to some as it seems to be (and I think it's a small percentage) how can the rest of the children be realistically expected to adjust to all that these children need ? I can understand saying "no peanut butter" - I can get that - but to tell a school full of children that they cannot have peanuts or peanut containing foods, dairy, foods containing dairy, eggs and egg containing products such as baked goods, etc etc. it eliminates a world of healthy and readily available food. No yogurt, cheese, baked goods, etc etc. To subsist and feed your children according to the myriad of safety rules some children require is an undue burden on the rest I believe. How do you suggest this be handled ? Isn't there a certain point - unfortunately - where it becomes unfair to everyone else ?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]THE POINT OF THE WHOLE POST... if we can legislate food establishments to post calorie counts, then they should post ingredients known to cause allergic reactions - and for our schools, we have to find a balance that protects these children from life threatening reactions as well as requires someone in the schools to take responsibility for administration of the epi pens in an emergency, schools do not want to do this...
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]but I am asking "what is the balance" ?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]but what is the balance ? That is the question that is not being answered ? What do you believe is fair to ask non-allergic parents to do and "how far" should their policing have to go to safeguard these highly allergic children ?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]when faced with these problems, it never hurts to ask yourself, "what would I want if it were my child?" so yes we will need to find a balance, but if your child faced a life threatening situation everyday, how would you want him/her to be treated? ... and being ostracized is not the answer either.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]And so I should not pack dairy, egg products, nut products, or anything else and neither should the other 800 students because there is 1 (possibly a few more, I do not know the number) who cannot be in contact with it ? It seems very unbalanced, totally un-policable, and unrealistic don't you think ? Can you imagine this happening, because I cannot. I do not mean to be snarky or lessen the danger these children may face, but that I don't think that the other children and families should be asked to carry that burden.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, you should not pack something that will cause serious harm to a child. My ds goes to daycare where they have pretty strict rules about allergies and I really don't find it to be such a big problem. I guess I just have more sympathy for parents of allergic kids.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]eliminate nuts, dairy, and eggs (and anything made with or in the same location as these products) and what are you serving them ?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Turkey/chicken/roast beef/veggie sandwiches with egg/dairy free bread (Whole Foods sells quite a few varieties)
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How about the folks who cannot afford those kinds of food?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Should rule out bread as well, since wheat is a common allergen.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]we vegetarian kids are sort of screwed here and the people who cannot afford Whole Foods / specialty feeods are burdened as well. Obviously a veggie sandwhich every day is not a fun situation.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Gluten free bread is usually egg/dairy free. Made for people with allergies & celiac disease...
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
and how many kids are in that daycare? The post you responded to is talking about schools with hundreds of children. How are you going to protect your child in that setting?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You are missing the point. Currently there are no options for severely-allergic kids other then to stay home. That is not an acceptable solution. Legislators need to clearly identify severe food allergies as a disability and open up funding to create safe environments where these kids can go to school. Until that happens, people need to be understanding so that allergic kids can get an education like everyone else.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]If there are really that many children who can't breathe in the fumes from a cup of yogurt, then I thik the DOE should open a small school just for those kids that is a citywide. Kids get bussed. K-5 or K-8. Those schools would not allow any allergy foods in teh building. My child has sensory issues and is very picky. He'll only eat certain things. He won't eat gluten free bread or a lettuce leaf sandwich. If he doesn't eat lunch, he can't focus and will act out and be miserable. Misery turns into anxiety and depression. So now my child is being injured. Look. basically a child who can't breathe in dairy or egg fumes is in the bubble boy category and needs something special. Sorry, but it's true.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 12:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]There are alot. And your response as a parent with a SN kid is sick. Why don't find out the fact first. And as a SN parent you should have some understanding.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 01:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
if it were my child I would be sad and terrified and I would never expect that my child's safety could be entrusted to people and children I did not know.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm one of the posters who has been pushing back on the allergy folks pretty hard but this is an absurd statement. You "would never expect that [your] child's safety cold be entrusted to people... [you] did not know"? So the fire and police departments are out. Schools (at least in the beginning of the year), ER workers, etc. are all suspect. We all entrust our safety to strangers- bus drivers, building inspectors, the person who assembled your gas stove, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]read the intent. The police and fire depts and EMT's are trained professionals Second graders, the mom at the grocery store, the teachers aide are not. Trusting that all of these non-trained, non-dietician, non-mediaclly trained children and adults should carry to responsibility of your child's extraordinary medical needs is not anything I would feel comfortable about.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Neither the PD nor the FD are trained medical staff. If they can be taught to use an Epi pen (I have no idea if they are or are not) then so could an art teacher, teacher's aid, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I believe OP means to legislate / hopes for legislation that in some way makes having to use the epi pen relatively obsolete. FD is medically trained, by the way, and all of the teachers at our school can use the epipen, but that is not what I was writing about. If one expects that John Q Public can and should be made to ensure the safety of your child with a very rare and possibly deadly allergy I believe you are living a pipe dream. Trusting everyone to pack and eat according to what your child needs, IMHO, is putting your child in danger. That is where I am very doubtful.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm not siding with the OP but I don't think the goal is to remove peanuts (and every other allergen) from the face of the earth. It is to remove it from the school cafeteria.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]and with our school- for example - where there is no school lunch per se but each family packs lunch each day, I think it is unrealistic.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Please. EMT's - medical personnel. Fire Dept - trained medically. Art teacher ? Not so much. My child who sneaks a Snickers in his backpack ? Not so much.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The two issue aren't really at all the same, though. Requiring restaurants to post calorie counts provides information to consumers, nothing more. However, requiring a restaurant to post a list of potential allergens in its food or requiring schools to make specific accomodations for kids with allergies acts to shift the burden of dealing with the allergy away from the person with the allergy and imposes a part of that burden on the restaurant/school. It's important to understand the distinction.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]very well put.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]that is a crock of BULL.. don't we need that same level of INFORMATION about what is in the FOOD, if it can potentially harm us???
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]If I owned a dining establishment, I would be very afraid of lawsuits and post all of the potential allergens on my menu just to protect myself - it only makes sense in this city to do this preemptively .
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's just the opposite, actually. The restaurant protects itself best by NOT providing the information automatically, and putting the burden on the customer to inquire.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: If you post "We use every ingredient ever heard of in our kitchen on a regular basis." Wouldn't you cover your ass pretty well?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sure, but you wouldn't have been of any help to the OP!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np again: I was responding simply to the "Cover Your Ass" issue one post above. (But IF I had a life threatening food allergy, I would not rely on a restaurant to give me accurate food information anyway.) Just ask a diabetic about how reliable that kind of information is...
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]so i guess you would never go out for dinner?? it's funny, we look at and require ingredients to be posted on the food we buy at the grocery store, but sounds like most of you posters could care less about what they feed you at NOBU
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't eat at NOBU. 1. Restaurants are dependent on their suppliers and can't control what is in everything they serve. 2. In truth, I think they have too many other things going on to rely on for this. (For example, are you going to require a restaurant changes the oil in its frialator (sp?) every time they do a shrimp dish? What if you get onion rings after somebody else got shrimp tempura... If I was highly allergic and I wanted to eat out I would 1. mitigate exposure by cuisine and 2. make sure I had an epi pen with me. I would also consider very strongly the restaurant I went to.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: I have adult friends with severe food allergies and this, IME, is the approach they take - they are careful where they go and what they order, they warn restaurants about their allergy and ask what's in the food, but they understand that in the end there is always a risk and that it is their responsiblity.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^I understand the impluse of a parent wanting to remake the world so that it is safer for their DC, but along with that I think you have to have an understanding that its not always going to be possible.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]not only is it not always possible, it is also often not appropriate.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 06:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I don't know about your school but the person in my kid's school who is ovderseeing everything in the lunch room is an Aid.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:46 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
That's right--many kids with severe allergies are special needs kids. However, they currently aren't protected under the ADA and there is no assistance available. Removing them from schools without providing other options is unacceptable. This is why this issue needs to be addressed at the legislative level.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^and until there are reasonable options for parents of allergic kids, the rest of the community needs to make special accommodations.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Accommodations are one thing. Redesigning how everyone else must eat is not acceptable.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Both sides make valid points but because of the seriousness of the issue, there has to be compromise in the interim before permanent solutions are in place. Allergic kids need to have safe places where they can get the same opportunities as non-allergic kids. Until a fair system is in place, non-allergic kids and parents need to be sensitive to the problem. I don't have kids with allergies, but I feel for parents who do. I don't want to be responsible for hurting another child and if that means altering my kid's diet, so be it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]and just to play Devil's advocate, if you were asked at DC's school to eliminate dairy, nut products, and egg products, what would you put in their lunch ? Not trying to be bitchy, but I am curious.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I shop at Whole Foods, where they have egg-free and dairy-free bread/rolls, so making sandwiches is pretty easy. They also sell egg-free pastas (like rice pasta or just semolina & water)--I have used these to make pasta salads before.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]and that is a great choice, but no everyone can or does shop where these things are readily available. Moreover, some children like certain foods while yours - and you are lucky - like pasta salad. The issue is a bigger one though.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 03:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
the only option I see is a seperate dining facility for them. Even that does not guarantee that they will not come in contact with a child who ate Cheetos and didn't effectively wash their hands. There is no answer other than these children taking the risk or perhaps creating schools totally for their "disability".
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree that allergic kids should have a safe place to eat/go to school... but what do they do in the interim? Not go to school?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]dine in a different room ?!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 02:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sure, but establishing safe rooms just doesn't happen on it's own.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
OP, was your fight at the preschool or the K level? B/c preschool I could see being a real problem, but by K, I think the burden is really on the child and his/her parents. What did you ask teachers and parents to do that caused so much trouble?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]HI back Op here. My fight was on the PRK level due to the shared snack policy. I expect to have the fight again, but Dc is in the G and T class and I heard that teacher is Excellent about food allergies. I have to say, this is not only a matter of prevention but a matter of education. If school staff who are with children have no Idea about what and how a food allergy can happen and what to do if it does is a very scary issue. As far as the airborne thing yes its very very rare, HOWever the reaction due to the fact a kid ate dortios or pbj and then held hands with another is not rare and happen way to often, and nobody mentioned about brushing teeth so get off it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry it went on its own. As far as the ADA, Kids with any issue can get a 504 plan and the school MUST follow the plan. Some kids have health paras now. As far as places listing allergens. Some do but most don't Perfect example I was going to get my son fries at nathans and I had to ask what oil they used. Turns out it was peanut, Had I not asked I would never have known. No sign nada.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Perhaps in the length of this thread I lost something of your initial point, but education is great and needed. It is changing the eating habits and possibilities of many many tens of children to ensure the safety of some very very highly (airborn) allergic children that I find sort of unfair and unrealistic. Were you mandating legislation to educate only ? I would agree with that. Mandating anything further is where I get skeptical.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
How come so many nutcase parents use capitalization at will? Is mania linked with this Grammatical Disorder? Is over capitalization co-morbid with mania?
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 12:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why did you capitalize the "e" in excellent and the "i" in idea?
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think that much of what is posted here results from "lack of knowlage" as the OP cited. How about you seek info from peer-reviewed medical journals instead of anecdotes on the TV? Then again, my neighbor told me that her friend said that her sister said saw Goody Proctor dancing with the Devil under the moonlight and Tituba was there!!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 11:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]And YOU are the ultimate arbiter of "knowlage"?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No, but peer-reviewed medical journals provide much more reliable information about allergies and other health concerns than the TV and newspapers. What I am is the ultimate arbiter of spelling!! See OP's 'knowlage'. I was just copying her post for those who might have lost track in the sea of idiotic sludge.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think this is the woman who came to educate us all. She will soon be out having a martini with her MD husband, internet genius friend, and jazz musician friend.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]and you?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am the woman, yes I would like to educate all of you , I don't have an MD husband and I don't drink .. I just hate ignorance. I hate fighting parents and school staff. I should tell you my whole life I fought to educate people on asthma. I had food allergies but nothing like my kids, My asthma is what almost killed me. now I try to educate people on both.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not to be harsh, but if you are as combative IRL as you are being on this thread, you may be hurting your cause more than you are helping it. I know it's difficutly when you feel passionately about something, but you're more effective as an advocate if you're able to understand and appreciate the other side's point of view. Try not to assume that everyone that disagrees with you (a) is ignorant and (b) doesn't care about your DC.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA. The worst way to win someone over is to tell them that they are being dumb.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Until the results they report are overruled by the next "peer-reviewed" study. Truth and knowlage are hard to come by in any form.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Can you really not spell?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP and I was joking.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh thank god. Sometimes it's hard to tell here. Yes, studies are always being refined, which is why it's important to keep reading good sources of info.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I am the op my younger son is in a study with one of the top allergist in the country, so I know all about studies as my child is one. I have to tell you when you know as much as I do the world becomes a scary place.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Who do you think is the "top allergist in the country"?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:37 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]deafening silence...
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that continues to grow more deafening...
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 12:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
back sorry I have real life things to do. Well lets see the top is Hugh Sampson, but now Scott Sischer, who has been quoted in many of the studies is #2, He is my child's allergist for the study.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am the op and I don't know how much I will be one during the weekend but if you want to email with any question feel free at allergymom1010@yahoo.com.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]So it is your entire identity?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 03:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Um that's just the email I use for allergy support group things. And yes if you have an allergic child or a child with asthma it becomes your life.you have to always be on guard.bring food and meds with you and always have it in the back of your head. This is my point people just don't get it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 03:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think a lot of us DO get it, but we do not know how to merge your needs with ours.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 03:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I get it, too. I know it's hard. My child has SN and it's pretty consuming. But would you ban any form of play that can result in scrapes because a hemophiliac child might be in a given class?
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 12:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I am the mom of a severly food allergic son (dairy, peanuts and treenuts). He is an asthmatic as well. He was diagnosed with food allergies at age 1 and is now a teenager. He is tested every year and remains very allergic. He has had two anaphylactic reactions (neither of them at school). We have gone through 10 years of school and, from the beginning, felt that his allergies were our responsibility and, as he is getting older, his responsibility. While we have been fortunate enough to attend schools that are 'peanut controlled' and very willing to work with us, we always prepared snacks, lunches and treats for parties. When he was younger, at the beginning of every school year, we would send a letter home to all the parents in his grade alerting them to his allergy and asking them to let us know if they were bringing in a treat so that we could bring in something similar for him. I met with teachers and the school nurse at the beginning of the year, provided EpiPens and let them know I would do whatever it took to make his life as normal as possible. They always worked with us and alerted us to any cooking projects, etc. He always fully participated in food-related projects and class trips. While living with food allergies affects our entire family, the things we have to do (always have EpiPens, always have food/drinks for him, etc.) are just our 'normal.' I heard someone speak once who said something along the lines of "parents need to prepare their children for the path, not the path for their children." While we are helped tremendously by all the new food labeling legislation and the advances being made in the field of food allergies, I still feel that the onus is on us (our family) to keep him safe. The partnership we created with my son's school really worked for us. He is a very active, very social young man...food allergies are the thing he has to deal with. We all have something.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 07:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That sounds great. However most schools and some parents are not willing to work this way. Which is the real issue. Again education is key!
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 08:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: you and your son sound great! My 2 1/2 yr old dd has multiple food allergies and I hope she will have the experience he has in school and in life. thanks for posting, this was really lovely to read.
[ Reply | Options ]08.18.08, 08:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thank you and all the best to you and your daughter.
[ Reply | Options ]08.18.08, 02:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Work out of home moms...how long was you materity leave and how do you handle child c... 4 replies
- t afford a nanny, so we've had to cobble together a child care plan. My job has a great daycare center in the building and I bring him there two days a week. My dh stays home with the baby...
- I think mine was twelve weeks. DD started at daycare, but we moved right near the daycare (we rent in the city) to make things easier. If she gets sick, my Mom comes in or I take a vacation day. Then I switched to...
Talk : : August 15, 2008
Work out of home moms...how long was you materity leave and how do you handle child care. I have baby #1 on the way, just 12 weeks along, and I am not going to be able to do SAHM. thanks
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.15.08, 05:52 AM [ Flag ]I had 13 weeks paid leave. We can't afford a nanny, so we've had to cobble together a child care plan. My job has a great daycare center in the building and I bring him there two days a week. My dh stays home with the baby two days a week and my mom watches him the remaining day.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]1yr. I got 6wks paid and the balance unpaid. I now have a nanny because I can barely get myself out the door in the morning. There's no way I could handle dropping db off at daycare.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:48 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]my leave was 3 months, and we hired a nanny for childcare. (not all paid leave).
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 09:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think mine was twelve weeks. DD started at daycare, but we moved right near the daycare (we rent in the city) to make things easier. If she gets sick, my Mom comes in or I take a vacation day. Then I switched to four days at work b/c I felt bad leaving her for so many hours and so I could manage the sick day thing.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 10:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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