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[+] My 6 day old nb has been up the past two nights, crying all night, nothing soothes he... 15 replies
- i was also going to say have you tried propping up the baby in a more upright position? my baby was like that - very fussy at night. i would swaddle him really really tight, put him in a co-sleeper that was on our bed, and prop him up on a 45 degree angle. it helped with the reflux issue and he slept better. eventually we had to put him on zantac bc the reflux was getting pretty bad. also, it is totally normal for a nb to...
Talk : : August 15, 2008
My 6 day old nb has been up the past two nights, crying all night, nothing soothes her and once she does fall asleep, cannot be put down. I feeed her and she wants to eat an hour later. BF'ing and supplementing w/ formula, drinking 1-2 ounces. What do I do?
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.15.08, 04:53 AM [ Flag ]stop the formula. Get in bed with her for a few days. Just nurse and sleep.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Many newborns nurse around the clock. Don't fight it. Just stop doing anything other than nursing, eating, showering, and sleeping. RULE #1: When baby sleeps, you sleep. If you get worn out or sick then it will all get a lot harder. Put the brakes on everything else and focus on the important parts.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Go get The Happiest Baby on The Block dvd! Really works for soothing newborns.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]The technique involves swaddling (tightly!), holding baby on her side, and gently jiggling the baby (so her head wobbles a bit--not shaking!) Try these first--if that doesn't work, Dr. Karp also recommends using a swing and a pacifier (later on when bf'ing is established.)
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh, the shushing--I forgot to mention the shushing.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
It says "investigating a possible link". Ever read a medical journal? This article does not say x caused y. It says that they're looking to see if there' a possible connection between x and y. Hysteria is often the result of a failure to read closely.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]oops, wrong post, sorry.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what's wrong with her supplementing? if she wants to supplement, i dont think anyone should tell her to stop. but yes, i do agree that its important to bf if you want to keep up your supply - but if you get tired of feeding every hour, then why not supplement so that someone can take over for a bit?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]oops... i was also going to say have you tried propping up the baby in a more upright position? my baby was like that - very fussy at night. i would swaddle him really really tight, put him in a co-sleeper that was on our bed, and prop him up on a 45 degree angle. it helped with the reflux issue and he slept better. eventually we had to put him on zantac bc the reflux was getting pretty bad. also, it is totally normal for a nb to want to feed every 1 to 2 hours for a while. good luck! and you're doing a great job!!!!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]supplementing disrupts the supply/demand cycle and it may also be that something in the formula is bothering the baby. Better, for now, to reduce the variables in order to be sure there's no fixable cause for baby's misery. Get down to just breast milk, then see if there might be something you need to eliminate from your diet.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what about moving to all formula all the time? just as likely to be the case the BF is the problem rather than vice versa.
[ Reply | Options ]12.13.08, 01:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
this sounds completely normal! hang in there and get some cat naps when you can. swaddling can help, so can just holding the baby and shushing her. good luck - it gets better!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]it doesn't matter if the baby is drinking breastmilk or formula -- she's 6 days old and will want to eat very frequently around the clock. if OP wants to breastfeed, she should stop supplementing asap so her supply is not compromised. A baby that young needs to be held 24/7 -- she has no idea she's not still in the womb!
[ Reply | Options ]12.13.08, 01:54 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Have you tried swaddling tightly with paci? Try the "Happiest Baby on the Block Method" - it worked like a charm for each of my 3 dc.
[ Reply | Options ]12.13.08, 03:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Ok, so some help here please: we finally transitioned our 9 mo (yeah i know) from his... 8 replies
- Does your co-sleeper have a pull-up side to turn into a large bassinet? We kept it in the room for a week with the sides all up and I began putting the baby down in her own room gradually. If she awakened, I'd rub her back, say good night...
Talk : : August 11, 2008
Ok, so some help here please: we finally transitioned our 9 mo (yeah i know) from his co-sleeper to his own crib in his own room. Needless to say, he didn't love it. He woke up every 2 hrs and wanted to nurse ect. Anyone else btdt? Any tips on how to transition smoothly?
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.11.08, 09:39 AM [ Flag ]CIO.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 09:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, i guess that's n option, but we were looking for something a little less drastic.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 10:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think the transition will be rough, but he will eventually adjust. Put something mommy or daddy smelling in his crib. Something tactile he can feel, too, like a stuffed animal. White noise is a wonder, too. Also, maybe try going slower. Start out the first part of the night in the crib, and the rest in the old situation if possible. Gradually lengthen how long he stays in his crib, even if it means getting up a few times to soothe him back to sleep. He will get it eventually! Or maybe try having the crib in your room initially, so it is not such a huge all o a sudden change for him. Good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oops.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oops again. Sorry.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 06:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Does your co-sleeper have a pull-up side to turn into a large bassinet? We kept it in the room for a week with the sides all up and I began putting the baby down in her own room gradually. If she awakened, I'd rub her back, say good night to all her daytime things and stop physical contact when she'd settle-but kept vocalizing until she went back to sleep. Some very late nights/early am, I'd bring her to bed to nurse and let her stay. Soon she was down in her own bed for the night and happily calling in the morning. Hang in there.
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 08:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My 9 month old falls asleep in her trolley. Then I let her sleep there for at least 20 minutes (that's when they fall into deep REM sleep) and lift her over. I would not consider CIO. GL : )
[ Reply | Options ]08.11.08, 08:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Keep at it. If she wants to nurse that's okay. It might take a week or two but eventually she will settle.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 07:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] anyone have to do CIO with reflux baby? Need advice...baby wakes up 5 times at night... 5 replies
- I co-sleep so I'm there for it all, but some nights (like the last two) she is up at least 5 times. Others, she makes it through for nearly 6 hours. It just varies, right?...
Talk : : August 10, 2008
anyone have to do CIO with reflux baby? Need advice...baby wakes up 5 times at night and I already have the crib inclined etc...when does it get better?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.10.08, 08:35 PM [ Flag ]don't all babies wake up that much a night, my 5 month old does, no reflux
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]really? baby is 4months and I thought he should be up only twice a night
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I co-sleep so I'm there for it all, but some nights (like the last two) she is up at least 5 times. Others, she makes it through for nearly 6 hours. It just varies, right?
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what about tilting the baby to her side - this helped with our son. We rolled up a shirt and stuck it behind him. Have you tried medication - that has worked wonders for some babies. GL
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]hes already on Axid, but doesn't seem to be working. I have tried tilting to the side but it doesn't work for him....
[ Reply | Options ]08.10.08, 08:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] What are your takes on co-sleeping with your baby? I fell into this habit because bre... 21 replies
- goes down easily most nights for his dad. And sleeps through. And I honestly did nothing muhc to encourage it. We do not co-sleep, but I think it's great and no reason to quit unless you really want to. And you are ready for lots of...
- Love it. My dc are older and co-sleeping was wonderful with both, some of my fondest, warmest memories of their babyhoods. I'm so glad I did it. They are...
Talk : : August 03, 2008
What are your takes on co-sleeping with your baby? I fell into this habit because breast feeding was much more convenient at night, but now my son is 11 months old and completely dependent on me to fall asleep! ( I'm prepared for the harsh comments I know I'll probably get, but really, I need the advice on how and/or when I should get him out of our bed)
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.03.08, 01:11 PM [ Flag ]my thoughts: there are two kinds of co sleeping families. One kind wants it (all the parties), does it safely and continues well into childhood (not just a baby thing). The other starts out like you, but intends for db to sleep in crib and either can't figure out how or gets db/dc to start off in bed and then dc joins parents in their bed sometime in the night. The first type is great, the second type is HELL. I'm going to guess that you don't want to be the first type, right?
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 01:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You got it. Because my son is so dependent on me to fall asleep, I feel like it's affecting many other areas in his lif. He's sooooooooo attached to me.
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]science doesn't back you up on that one (but - moms sometimes know more than science). I personally don't believe that an 11 month old can be too attached to mom. But if you want to get him out of your bed, you are going to have to suck up - hear a ton of crying for about 3/4 days and go against your natural instinct. There are plenty of books that will help you come up with a plan to do it. good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 01:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks! You have no idea what it means to hear another mom say that "an 11 month old can't be too attached to mom." I get a lot of sh*t from people for the relationship my son and I have. Thankyou!!!
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 01:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You are so welcome. You might enjoy reading the book called "The Hurried Child".
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 01:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'll stick my nose in a little farther - you are going to be pushed and harrased to break the bonds of family and push your dc towards his peers more than you can imagine. People honestly believe that if you child is NOT in preschool at 3, you are doing him a diservice developmentally (I just can't imagine how the human race survived as long as it did before moms went to work and need preschool, but I digress). And then, these same people are going to throw up their hands and exclaim that "peer pressure" is far to strong a force in their childs life not even considering the fact that they have been pushing them towards peers for so incredibly long. I think back to my childhood and you can always find the family that spent most of their time together, that didn't "do what everyone else was doing", that did not jam pack their childrens days with activities - they just sort of hung out and did fun normal things together - somehow those children alwasys seemed to turn out great. I can't say that for all of the families that did the opposite (while some did have children who turned out great). So, decide what type of childhood you want for your child, decide what type of family you want for your child, figure out how you want to spend your time - the days are long, but the years are short and then go about it - and resist the naysayers and the pressure. You are the mommy, you know what is best!
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 01:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am just finding out how true that is!!! The stay at home moms I know are clammoring for pre-school for their 1 year old so their kids can be more "independent." This just seems as a total shock to me. I work full time and can only imagine the wonderful activites I'd do with my son if I were able to stay home with him.
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 01:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't see pre school for 1 year olds among my peers who SAH. But trust me when i say that you would love 7 days of activities with your son before you began to crave the structure and freedom of work.
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 01:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np ?? projecting your feelings? I'm a sahm and love the time we have together and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! We are all different and have different circumstances we deal with in life, but don't presume that simply because you couldn't happily fill your days at home that everyone is just like you.
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 01:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think you missed my point. I love staying home with my children but I think women who work full time tend to fantasize how idyllic the life is.
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 02:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Try to enjoy the attachment. I would also recommend plain old CIO at this point.
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 01:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP. Give it time. At 16 months now, my too stubborn mommy/boob addict boy goes down easily most nights for his dad. And sleeps through. And I honestly did nothing muhc to encourage it. We do not co-sleep, but I think it's great and no reason to quit unless you really want to. And you are ready for lots of tears. And I agree w/PP. An 11 month should be very attached. Nothing wrong there that I can see, either.
[ Reply | Options ]08.08.08, 06:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Love it. My dc are older and co-sleeping was wonderful with both, some of my fondest, warmest memories of their babyhoods. I'm so glad I did it. They are both securely attached, independent kids--and great sleepers (in their own beds ;-))
[ Reply | Options ]08.08.08, 06:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: oh this is so nice! makes me feel better. i'm very ambivalently trying to transition 6 m.o. dd into her own room. i just love to lie in bed with her and watch her sleep and cuddle her. plus it's so much easier to do a night feeding.
[ Reply | Options ]08.08.08, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]don't feel that way. These months are so precious and fleeting. My kids are so big now and it's so painful to remember the trivial things I angsted about when they were babies. In a few years, you'll be so glad you just let yourself enjoy cuddling her and watching her sleep. If you don't, then in a couple years when you try to hug her and she just wiggles away, you'll so wish you'd let yourself just enjoy that time.
[ Reply | Options ]08.08.08, 06:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^sorry, by "don't feel that way" I was unclearly trying to say "don't feel like you have to transition her too soon"--came out wrong!
[ Reply | Options ]08.08.08, 06:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no explanation needed, i understood
[ Reply | Options ]08.08.08, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
thank you! oh, i can't bear the thought of her wiggling away!
[ Reply | Options ]08.08.08, 06:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know. *I've* become the clingy one. LOL. Oh, they'll definitely get in cuddly, needy moods, but that age when just being in your arms is their idea of heaven, they could do it for hours? over and gone.
[ Reply | Options ]08.08.08, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ugh! ok, that's it, she's staying in our bed til she asks to sleep in her own room.
[ Reply | Options ]08.08.08, 06:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITTTA! Mine too and I loved it too, despite naysayers badgering me not to do it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.08.08, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] READ this link and consider turning off the computer. You don't know who you are cha... 10 replies
- More relevant to the co-sleeping thread actually....
Talk : : July 30, 2008
READ this link and consider turning off the computer. You don't know who you are chatting with about your mommy life. Anonymity is tricky. http://www.telegram.com/article/20080701/COLUMN01/807010599/1010/NEWS03
10 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.30.08, 06:57 AM [ Flag ]I'm not sure what your point is.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 07:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't get it either. It's not really relevant to online chatting.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 07:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]More relevant to the co-sleeping thread actually.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 07:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's relevant to the question of where your time and energy are going under the guise of connecting with other mothers. I'm going back to my real life!
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 07:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Did you read it? She's posting on the web instead of attending to her child even in the moment of death. Electricity is being used for her to post on the web instead of keeping food fresh and in-house temperature safe. She's so wrapped up in her internet mommy crap that she's contributed to the death of her child. Stop and think about who is at the other end of all these posts where you're getting advice, trading ideas. In truth, it could be anyone including someone like this.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 07:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA. I never take any of this advice seriously, but that still doesn't mean I should turn off my computer. Why? In case dh is smothering our kids in the other room?
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 07:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
why would I turn off my computer because this woman was a white-trash, tragically stupid and sad person? And I love how they try to hang it all on co-sleeping. Jesus.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 07:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NO, I think they hang it all on what sounds like cognitively delayed adults and the officials who let the kids stay in the home after the car incident. The point is not that YOU might be this woman. The point is that she's an extreme example of the worst that might be on the other end of any conversation you're having.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 07:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np - ...and we shouldn't talk to white trash types?
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 07:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I guess if you've got nothing better to do. I do and I am out.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 07:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Anyone co-sleep? Thoughts? Thanks. 21 replies
- her own room and sleeps there with no issue. Still co-sleeping with 18mo and #3 on the way....
- Co-sleeping is only dangerous if you or spouse are drunk, high,...so their judgement is impaired. He explains the AAP warning against co-sleeping and provides a more nuanced response in cases where parents...
- Still co-sleeping and dd is going to be 6 soon. Still love...
Talk : : July 29, 2008
Anyone co-sleep? Thoughts? Thanks.
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.29.08, 06:57 PM [ Flag ]worked great for us. kids now happy teens
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 07:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How does it work? How young can you start? How do you protect them? tia
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How old were they when they moved out of your bed?
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 07:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
sometimes
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 07:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yea, and now he's 8 and still needing me to fall asleep. be careful. looking back i don't believe the attachment hype.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]dangerous...even though a lot of people do it, there are risks...
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 07:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]there are risks to everything. There are risks to having a baby in a crib too. Proximity cuts risk of SIDS more than anything else. Don't go to sleep with your baby drunk or stoned, and you're fine. Nothing could be more natural.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 06:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
We let DS sleep with us if in a hotel room or somewhere strange and he can't sleep alone, or else if he's sick/needs comfort for some reason, which is not very often. Otherwise never have. Everyone we know who has done this has run into major problems later down the line (kid has to leave sleepovers, 2nd baby arrives and two kids in bed or unhappy first kid).
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 07:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yep. we did. now ds is 3. he reads himself to sleep in his room, by himself. he often still comes into our room early in the morning after a strange dream/scary dream, etc. and falls back asleep. i love it. my dh loves it. my parents did it as well. i am a wohm and really valued the time at night with my ds.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 07:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wonderful for us. kids now 8 and 6 and they are sleeping on their own. didn't plan on cosleeping when I was pregnant with no. 1 but just let it happen. Glad I didn't miss sleeping with them in the early yrs.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 08:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Bf'ing is so much easier, also it's priceless to go to sleep w/ and wake up w/ dd. Well worth any hassles.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 08:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes. Co-slept with 5yo who just demanded her own room and sleeps there with no issue. Still co-sleeping with 18mo and #3 on the way.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 08:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]We used a Snuggle Nest to keep the little guy from getting lost in the covers. We loved having my ds next to us all night.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 05:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We do and all love it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 06:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]my kids are older now, but yes, we co-slept with both of them and wouldn't have done it any other way.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 06:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]God I miss co-sleeping. I have the most wonderful memories of it (2 kids). You'll know when it's time to stop. Enjoy their sweet, warm little selves next to you while you can.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 06:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Co-sleeping is only dangerous if you or spouse are drunk, high, or morbidly obese. Pediatrician spouse and I co-slept but he is compelled to warn patients' parents against it because of the above.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 06:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]why doesn't he just warn about those specific dangers?? He warns against it to *everyone*? If so, how incredibly hypocritical.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 06:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It is his obligation to protect the child. Tell parents who drink and take drugs the risks are there, they'll do it anyway - because they are drunk and high so their judgement is impaired. He explains the AAP warning against co-sleeping and provides a more nuanced response in cases where parents are really interested and he's pretty confident about his substance screening
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 07:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I co-slept w/ 2 dc, now 6 and 9. They both sleep in their own rooms. DH and I began to prepare for the transition many months before by decorating rooms and creating a great deal of hype around moving to own bed, own room. The younger dc visits at night if he wets the bed but other than that it was a smooth transition. BTW, moved first from our bed to separate bed in our room and then onto own rooms.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 07:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Still co-sleeping and dd is going to be 6 soon. Still love it and I am going to miss it when it stops. I look forward to snuggling with her everyday. Its so sweet. I don't care what anyone says.
[ Reply | Options ]07.30.08, 09:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] how long did you breastfeed for? and...is it true that it gets easier after about the... 30 replies
- 27mos with #1, 18mos so far with #2. I was lucky that it was always easy for me. I co-sleep so around 4mos it became self-serve at night....
Talk : : July 29, 2008
how long did you breastfeed for? and...is it true that it gets easier after about the first month? last night DH tried to give our 3 week old some bottled breast milk so I could get some sleep (she's a constant nurser) and she appeared to be pushing the bottle away and then went for his breast.
30 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.29.08, 12:56 PM [ Flag ]it gets a lot easier after about 6-8 weeks ime - I nursed both my kids for a year.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]what gets easier about it?
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no more discomfort, difficulty getting baby latched, a loose schedule forms, baby nurses a little less at night
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]it definitely gets easier.... stick with it! baby gets stronger, latches on by themselves, eats more quickly and efficiently, etc. its so worth it for both of you.. i gave one bottle a day and nursed the rest - all went fine. keep at it. may be hard for DH at first, but baby is still very small and will take bottle eventually. good luck!!!
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Nursed both kids all the time for a year, then on a less frequent and less immediate basis though 2.9 yrs for #1 and 3yrs3mos for #2.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]please say you are joking
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Nope. Worldwide average is a lot older than that. What's your objection to my nursing my children?
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, in third world countries where there is no other food. Stop fooling yourself and realize that you are doing it for yourself, not your child.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 03:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sweetie, I don't even know what that means. They nursed exclusively for food for 6 months. Once they began solids they nursed for comfort and somewhat for food. Once they began cow's milk after a year they nursed for comfort. By the middle of their second years it was occasional and brief, mainly a bedtime thing, or in cases of miserable illness. When it was rare and perfunctory I told them we'd be stopping. Child #1 went along with the plan more easily. With child #2 it was a tougher separation and took a bit longer. I don't understand your accusation. You think they were nursing against their own will??
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 03:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
good to hear there is someone else out there - i am still nursing my 2.2 year old daughter. I get flack from stepmom asking isn't it time to stop - and i tell her that the World Health Organization says that the minimum age for weaning is 3 years old
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Just smile and say "Thanks for your concern." If someone rudely asks when you'll stop then a good response is, "Why do you ask?" Points out that it is none of their business.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 03:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
3 weeks is a bit young to give a breastfed baby a bottle. Our daughter sucked hickeys onto her daddy's chest quite a bit during the early weeks when I was not readily available.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she was born underweight and the ped insisted we supplement with bottled breast milk at every feeding until she started gaining a lot of weight. so she's used to it and definitely prefers the breast. So....seems like no danger...?
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Hmmm...I think an LC would encourage you to nurse more to build up supply. Why pump and bottle feed? If the goal is more milk in, baby is the most effective drainage system unless there are problems with her suck. Who is ped?
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]A good lactation consultation with someone who really knows her stuff is always a great idea.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yeah, that was the problem....ped saw her nursing and wasn't too happy with her abilities. she said in her experience babies don't become very good nursers until they hit 7.5 lbs, so until then she wanted to be sure baby was getting enough.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sounds a bit odd, that weight cutoff thing. Is ped a lactation consultant? What didn't she like about babe's nursing?
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she thought the latch was weak, and the baby wasn't opening her mouth wide enough. but it's obvious she's getting milk because i see her taking big gulps, and her face is full of milk at the end of a feeding. she always gets a poopy diaper afterwards. also sometimes she spits up milk.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]don't let pediatrician psych you out... keep at it! definitely get a LC if you need more support.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LC was best money I ever spent on baby
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Cll a lactation consultant. I think your ped may be wrong. Wider mouth and weak latch are a lot easier to fix than pumping and giving bottles. I bet you could cover it in less than an hour and a certified lc with md referral might be covered by insurance.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i did see one, and she wasn't too concerned. she does think the constant nursing could be a sign of a weak latch, though, but doesn't think i should go back to the bottle. wants me to work on the latch. do babies naturally improve their latch with time?
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not without coaching. Did the LC show you what to do? Have somebody bring you a copy of The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Just FYI, 3 week olds nurse constantly. That's their job. Anyone who has told you that's a problem is not very well-trained. Are you sure she was an ICBLC certified professional?
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yes, it gets easier. Your db is going thru the 3 week growth spurt. It doesn't last long - only a coupl of days. She'll eat non stop and then sleep and then wake up bigger. It happens again at 6 weeks. Then again at 3 months and again at 6 months. The frequent hits also signal your body to change the composition of the milk. So, I would not mess with the system of baby nursing until at least after the six week mark. You can handle anything for six weeks. Then it starts to get easier. Let everything else go. Just feed the baby and sleep when the baby sleeps if you can.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Very good advice.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 01:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i nursed each for one year and it gets easier and more relaxed with each passing week.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 03:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]27mos with #1, 18mos so far with #2. I was lucky that it was always easy for me. I co-sleep so around 4mos it became self-serve at night.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 03:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Same here. The kids moved to their own beds when they stopped nursing at night. Now that they're smart, successful, sweet, affectionate teens, we see the payoff. Some of our friends who pushed separation early on (weaning and crying to sleep) are alienated from their kids. The relationships are cold. They envy the closeness we have with our kids - the fact they talk to us and like to do stuff as a family. They ask, "Why are your kids are like that when ours are so hostile and secretive?" Ummmmmm.....................
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 03:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Just as a point of interest, 27 months of nursing is the amount that is shown to be preventative for breast cancer. Up to that amount the prevention effect increases, then it levels off.
[ Reply | Options ]07.29.08, 08:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Have a 2.5 YO that aside from a few phases, was a great sleeper. Past several months... 1 reply
Talk : : July 17, 2008
Have a 2.5 YO that aside from a few phases, was a great sleeper. Past several months it's been horrible. Screams and cries every night for at least 20 minutes (our average is 45 minutes) and at nap time. She is very tired. We do CIO and eventually it kicks in. But every night?? CIO used to work like a charm after 2 or 3 nights. IS this normal? We don't co-sleep and won't do it.
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.17.08, 09:42 AM [ Flag ]Is he getting his molars?
[ Reply | Options ]07.17.08, 10:21 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] what are your thoughts on the co-sleeping basinette, the basinette that sort of attac... 5 replies
- i love the co-sleeper -- but your baby will only be able to use it until about 6-7 months when they start...
- I did not love the co-sleeper attached to the side of the bed. IME, if I wanted db close enough to nurse, it was much easier to have him in my bed and the co-sleeper made it hard to get it and out of bed (esp. w C-section, but even later)...
Talk : : July 17, 2008
what are your thoughts on the co-sleeping basinette, the basinette that sort of attaches to the side of the bed so you can roll over and feed on autopilot in the middle of the night? We're in a very small one bedroom apt. and are cramped for space. Is a crib a better option because it lasts longer?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.17.08, 08:18 AM [ Flag ]It's a great idea but does not replace a crib
[ Reply | Options ]07.17.08, 08:22 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]<<< if you don't have storage space you may not want to many things you'll use that for 4 months tops
[ Reply | Options ]07.17.08, 08:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
yes, a crib is better
[ Reply | Options ]07.17.08, 08:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i love the co-sleeper -- but your baby will only be able to use it until about 6-7 months when they start sitting up. you'll need a crib (or pack n play) at that point.
[ Reply | Options ]07.17.08, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I did not love the co-sleeper attached to the side of the bed. IME, if I wanted db close enough to nurse, it was much easier to have him in my bed and the co-sleeper made it hard to get it and out of bed (esp. w C-section, but even later). I used it as a bassinet in the end and that was fine. I could get in bed and then just pull it up right next to me, then move it toget out of bed. By 8 months, db was too big for the bassinet and I moved him to the "bottom" and he slept there until 15 months when I put him in a bed.
[ Reply | Options ]07.17.08, 08:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Our 15-month old does not sleep. We've tried putting him to bed at 6:30 pm, and we'v... 1 reply
- If he sleeps when you co-sleep I would just go with that....
Talk : : July 16, 2008
Our 15-month old does not sleep. We've tried putting him to bed at 6:30 pm, and we've tried putting him to bed at 7:30pm--he always cries & plays in his crib for at least an hour, usually 2. And he's up for the day before dawn. We try for naps, and no matter when, he protests the entire hour--then I get him to co-sleep and he falls asleep. I can't do this everyday! What can we do? He is so overtired I feel like we can't catch up.
1 reply [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.16.08, 11:03 AM [ Flag ]If he sleeps when you co-sleep I would just go with that.
[ Reply | Options ]07.16.08, 11:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Can the Bugaboo bassinet be used as the house bassinet as well (due to limited space)... 22 replies
- Have you considered the arm's reach mini co-sleeper? It doesn't have to be attached to your bed....
Talk : : July 15, 2008
Can the Bugaboo bassinet be used as the house bassinet as well (due to limited space)? If not, which bassinet would you recommend? TIA!!
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.15.08, 01:06 PM [ Flag ]Have you considered the arm's reach mini co-sleeper? It doesn't have to be attached to your bed.
[ Reply | Options ]07.15.08, 01:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Never heard of it before... I shall look into it. Is it "SIDS approved"?
[ Reply | Options ]07.15.08, 01:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
yes - we did that
[ Reply | Options ]07.15.08, 01:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why not use a pack-n-play?
[ Reply | Options ]07.15.08, 01:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's what we did and loved the changing table attached.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 12:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Our nb didn't seem to like the pnp in the beginning because the bassinet is too big. He slept much better in the bug bassinet.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm planning to use a bugaboo as a bassinet in the beginning and space isn't a factor I just think it's silly to go get another huge contraption when that would work fine
[ Reply | Options ]07.15.08, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That was also my thought, although not sure where I read this, but someone commented that the Bugaboo bassinet is not designed for the baby to sleep in it for such long periods of time and there for has risk of SIDS. Again, not sure if that's true, but that's why I posted my first question and see if there were any suggestions...
[ Reply | Options ]07.15.08, 01:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Any more opinions on this?
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 12:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I used a Moses basket for the first 2 months and DB was fine. The bugaboo bassinet is probably even safer since the Moses basket had a poofy cover over the sides.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 12:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I am due in 6 weeks and that is exactly what I'm doing. Why get a separate bassinet? Several people I work with have done this, which what gave me the idea. I have not heard anything about the matress being dangerous.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 12:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I guess one could replace the Bugaboo bassinet mattress with an organic one??
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 01:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ANyone have the measurements of the Bugaboo matress?
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 01:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Better yet, anyone know of an organic bassinet mattress that fits the Bugaboo?
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 02:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, I'd like to know either piece of info.
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 02:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Naturalmat makes an organic mattress that fits the Bugaboo.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ http://www.naturalmat.co.uk/product.asp?strParents=104&CAT_ID=105&P_ID=693
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
A few of my friend did this - and I am planning on doing it as well. My friend said she bought a bassinet sheet for the bugaboo mattress
[ Reply | Options ]07.24.08, 03:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Question: is there any way to get the frame supports out of the way so the bassinet can lay flat?
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not sure what you mean--the bassinet is detachable. The supports stay on the stroller frame.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am referring to the part of the bassinet frame that clicks onto the stroller frame and the rod connecting them that is underneath the bassinet.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 12:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
We used the bug bassinet for the first couple of months. It was really convenient being able to roll it with me throughout the apartment and to the laundry room without waking the baby up.
[ Reply | Options ]08.12.08, 11:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] My downstairs apartment neighbors love to retaliate against my children by blasting m... 9 replies
- They already do! The kids co-sleep with us whenever this happens. Tonight, like any other night I would have just scooped the kids into our bed. And given the neighbors a little competition!...
Talk : : July 11, 2008
My downstairs apartment neighbors love to retaliate against my children by blasting music in their room during their bedtime. Tonight I took a radio and put it on the exposed hardwood part of the floor and blasted music with I was giving the kids a bath! It felt so good to send a message to them -- if you mess with me, I'll mess with you. Success -- they turned their music off and I was able to put my kids to sleep in peace!!!!
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.11.08, 07:06 PM [ Flag ]Let's hope they don't try to get you back when your dcs are asleep.
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 07:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]They already do! The kids co-sleep with us whenever this happens. Tonight, like any other night I would have just scooped the kids into our bed. And given the neighbors a little competition!
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 07:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What about the other people in the building -- to quote a saying from my mother - two wrongs never make a right
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 07:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Time to take action - it's really unacceptable.
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 07:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Have you tried having a conversation with them?
[ Reply | Options ]07.12.08, 01:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Are you sure that is what they are doing? They may just be clueless, many times people without children are.
[ Reply | Options ]07.12.08, 04:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what's wrong with you? why would you want to escalate a situation like that? are you more interested in the childish pleasure you get from revenge than your children being well rested? how about acting like a responsible adult? and, just fyi, they're not trying to retaliate against your children, they're trying to retaliate (if they even are) against YOU. freak.
[ Reply | Options ]07.12.08, 06:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]how do they know when your dbs bedtime is?
[ Reply | Options ]07.12.08, 06:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]hug it out
[ Reply | Options ]07.12.08, 10:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] My 11-wk old ds is colicky and extremely fussy. Stopped napping at nine wks, which on... 25 replies
- even if it means co-sleeping, or that all day naps are in the stroller....
- .but looking back I would have been better off letting him co-sleep, letting him nap in my arms while I watched TV...
Talk : : July 10, 2008
My 11-wk old ds is colicky and extremely fussy. Stopped napping at nine wks, which only makes him fussier. I'm trapped at home because it's ridiculous to take him out when he cries so much. I'm so miserable and think I'm getting depressed. I thought things were supposed to be getting better by now???
25 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.10.08, 06:45 PM [ Flag ]so sorry. every db is different, and things hit everyone at diff times. does db take a pacifier or thumb? my 2nd db took a paci, and it made things easier. if you are nursing, also take a look at your diet-some things can make db very gassy.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 06:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks for your sympathy. DS takes a paci sometimes, and it does help.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]your dc will nap again, which will make things easier for you (or at least give you a break). i found that with both of my dc's, they would fuss a bit. with my first, I would go in and change diaper, feed, whatever at first, but then I learned that my dc just needed to settle in and wiggle, so I eventually checked but left alone. with my 2nd, I just left db alone unless really crying. maybe your dc just needs to get paci back at nap time so he sleeps longer. also, it isn't ridiculous to take your dc out when they cry and fuss. every dc fusses. my toddler had two HUGE temper tantrums today in public. with the 2nd one, I actually started to cry myself behind sunglasses it was so awful. it is hard-no one ever tells you that. get yourself out to a new moms group (or mommy and me yoga or whatever). and if you do feel like it is depression, get to a therapist-my last therapist let me take my db with me. also, if you can get help, whether it is cleaning the house or watching the db, do it. get time for yourself-makes a huge difference.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 06:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, I cry behind sunglasses all the time! Glad to hear I'm not the only one. The problem with the paci is that ds can't hold it in at all. As soon as I let go, it falls out. Is that not normal for a baby his age?
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 06:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]totally normal. this phase will pass eventually. have you spoken to ped about colic? also, if you are bf, take a look at what you are eating. i really had to restrict my diet while bf. what I also found helped was "wearing" db. I used a sling (never liked bjorn), which was helpful and kept my hands free to do other things.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^also, I don't want to imply that it is all bad. there are times when I am just "done" as a mom and need my own space. but generally, it is pretty good. today was a bad day, but the pluses far outweigh the bad days.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What did you restrict from your diet? I cut out the typical gassy foods, like cabbage, onions, broccoli. I haven't really talked to ped about the colic. We've been really focused on the reflux because he was having a lot of problems with it until a few weeks ago. But what could ped say about colic that would help?
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]the advice about sleeping in swing is good-elevated head helps. we also bought this thing called a snuggle nest to help my dc with colic. i am generally not a big product pusher, but it is a lseep positioner that is elevated (there are 2, one just a positioner, one an elevated positioner). it helped. i restricted same as you, also dairy, beans, lentils (not like I ate the latter that much anyways, but the time I did while bf, it was bad)
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'll look into the snuggle nest. Thanks for all of your info. It's nice to find a sympathetic ear.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]hang in there and get some help. talk to your dh/so too. you aren't alone. gl to you and congrats on your db.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
yes, this gets better as well as they get older.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Are you sure it's colic and not reflux? Also a book just came out on colic for helping the baby and more importantly helping the mom. A friend told me about it. The Colic Chronicles. Good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 06:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]He has reflux too, but I think that's under control. He definitely has the colicky three hours of crying per day, but he's also just fussy all day. It's pretty hard to keep him happy. I will definitely try the book!
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 06:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
My oldest ds (now 7 yrs old) was exactly as you describe. It SUCKED big time and I didn't get to enjoy anything about being a new 1st time mom. At 5 mos we tried the Ferber/cry it out method....which didn't work (and again we thought it was something wrong with us since that idiot INSISTED that it would work on any child-- which he has since retracted)...my advice is to try different methods of getting him to sleep and if you find something that works, do it...even if it means co-sleeping, or that all day naps are in the stroller.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 06:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ferber didn't work for you?!? That was going to be my last resort. When did your ds finally calm down?
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you could get lucky and have it work...definitely try it around 5 mos of age....but looking back I would have been better off letting him co-sleep, letting him nap in my arms while I watched TV...but that idiot Ferber and his "all naps and sleep should be in the crib" crap led me to believe that I was going to screw him up if I let him sleep close to me. My 2nd and 3rd dc were much better sleepers and never slept with me at all. It's so hard when you are a 1st time mom but I know now that you have to go with what you feel is right, not the 'expert' advice. I have a crazy ped who tells me at every visit to feed my dcs liver because they need the iron...I just smile and nod and say OK. LIVER??
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^I'd also look into ways of 'wearing' him if he likes to be held a lot...get a sling or pouch (like a kangaroo korner pouch or hotsling) or the Ergo. Try taking him for a walk in the stroller. Sometimes the noise and the motion calms them down (with mine he loved being outside in his stroller but the second I walked inside a store to browse he's start screaming again...and if he was sleeping and I brought him home he'd wake up the second we got in the elevator..but as long as I walked and walked and walked outside he was fine
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]mine too was like this. stroller napper from below. we've got our routine now though and she is napping at home in her stoller more and more. it works for us.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
have you tried a swing? my very colicky dd could only nap in a swing until she was 7 months.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 06:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm sorry. my db wasn't colicky but she cried A LOT and rarely ever napped, although she was sleeping thru the night. It did get better, although now at 10 mos she only naps in her stroller (but I really don't care). I had a hard time too. My advice is similar to others--try a sling, try a swing and/or bouncer, and definitely get out of the house!! who cares if he cries? you need to see other people and to talk to other moms. have your talked to your pedi and OB about moms' groups?? good luck to you.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's so hard. I had a colicky baby, then a very fussy baby. Just keep trying different things to make him comfortable. Make sure that you get some help, and wear earplugs to blunt the crying sound (don't worry, you can still hear him, it just isn't as grating on your nerves). Eventually, he will mellow out and you'll fall in love with him in a way that you never knew was possible.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Mine was like this too. He would nap in the stroller or the swing (sometimes). We went for long walks in the Park where it didn't matter that he screamed. Hang in there.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm so sorry. I know how hard that is. Db was the same way. I only got out of the house for one quick walk a day the first few months and that was after she fell asleep and I managed to get her in the stroller without waking up. I never went more than a few blocks from home in fear that she'd wake and start screaming and I'd need to run home. I was BFing and taking out milk and soy worked wonders but she's still not a great sleeper, though DH and I have gotten used to it and worked out a system. Though the first few months felt like years, if not decades, at the time, looking back, it was just a few months, so even though it seems impossible, if you can try to hang onto that thought, maybe it'll help you get through it a bit easier. Their guts definitely do mature alot the closer you get to 6months. GL!
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 09:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Get the book/DVD "happiest baby on the block". it saved us.
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 12:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]also... have you considered reflux? our baby cried ALL the time and is now on zantac and he is a new child.
[ Reply | Options ]08.03.08, 12:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] ok, we succeeded in moving 1.5 y/o's bedtime from 10 down to 8p. but when she went to... 41 replies
- co-sleeping is not the problem....
- , now we're screwed.) before we changed her bedtime, co-sleeping was def not an issue....
- our friends have since divorced, i think we can handle co-sleeping given the bigger problems life can throw you. i grew...the people who are so vocal and opinionated against co-sleeping are never those who actually co-sleep. For the life of...
Talk : : July 10, 2008
ok, we succeeded in moving 1.5 y/o's bedtime from 10 down to 8p. but when she went to bed at 10, she'd wake up at 9. now, she's waking up at 3 am!!! ready to play!!! this cannot be good. how can we fix it? she's lost 4 hours of sleep a day, and it shows in her behaviour!
41 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.10.08, 08:23 AM [ Flag ]Does she nap?
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]2 times.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ actually, now with 8p bedtime, she naps 3 or 4 times, 2 smaller naps. one comes at 5-6 or 7am. the next is 11-1. the next main one is around 4, depending on if she has class or not...she sometimes takes a short 4th nap in the stroller somewhere.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ahhh. too many naps i'd say. no 4pm nap
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]but the main naps are 11-1, and the 4-ish nap. the other 2 are not consistent. if i drop the 4, then she'd go to bed for the night at...5 or 6, and then be up at 1, 2 am...
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]then drop the earlier nap
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]that doesn't work, either...they are both crucial, otherwise she'd be up for, like 7 hours straight or something.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
the "nap" in the early morning should be the continuation of her night's sleep. Just don't let her get up (i.e. don't go get her) at 3am
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]we co-sleep...she slaps at me to wake up and play w her. she's def not tired. dh and i are dead at that time, have tried everything to get her drowsy again (milk doesn't work anymore...)
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:31 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]ok, you need to STOP the cosleeping NOW
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]co-sleeping is not the problem.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, it is. If db had her own room and a crib she had to stay in she would go back to sleep
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: ITA.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]read below...she's a bed hog, often she's sleeping in the bed alone, and i'm on couch, dh is in her room. yes, screwy, but in essence she has her own bed.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Do you not understand how BIG of a problem this is? You need to put her in her OWN room in her OWN bed (crib would be better at this point) and allow yourself and your poor dh your room back
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]this is a totally separate issue...we're tackling the early rising issue now (which wasn't an issue before when she went to sleep late--she got plenty of sleep, just different from what other parents enforce, which is what pressured us into changing her routine, now we're screwed.) before we changed her bedtime, co-sleeping was def not an issue.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry, but it is always an issue, and is definitely tied to the bedtime/wakeup. You really need to get her her own room
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry, but my 4 sibs and i co-slept, it wasn't a big deal to my parents at all, just normal. we all like co-sleeping, there is nothing wrong with it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
in fact, 1/2 the time i'm not even in the bed bc i'm working or sleeping on the couch bc she's a bed hog.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why do people do this to themselves? I don't get it?
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]bc i take care of my kid during the day, i need to do my work after she goes to sleep. (i WAH w very little help)
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]That does NOT explain why your child is sleeping in your bed with you
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I mean having her in bed w/ you. I get that some families passionately believe in co-sleeping and AP. But it seems like a lot of people just back into it w/o intending to and then have all these difficulties as a result.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what's wrong with it? most of the world cosleeps. it's just a few western countries where people put their babies in cribs in separate rooms. i grew up in an immigrant family. co sleeping really is not a big deal.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Actually, in most of the western world (where I assume op lives as well) cosleeping is not done as it is proven to not only disrupt sleep for all involved, but to be more dangerous for the baby especially
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ok, my db is out of the danger stage. so, i don't have the right to believe it's not a big deal to co-sleep, when my parents did the same with me and each sibling, as do/did all my relatives (no big deal, kid is 3 and goes into their own bed.) we think it's nice, and if you have a problem with that, you should myob.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ok, but you do realize you're setting yourselves all up for major issues. I'm surprised your dh puts up with it. Most people i know who have co-slept are divorced now
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, we've been together 17 years while many of our friends have since divorced, i think we can handle co-sleeping given the bigger problems life can throw you. i grew up co-sleeping, as did all of my siblings and cousins (well, in our culture, kids just naturally gravitate to their own beds at around 3. in our parents' culture, it's a non-issue...and even though i'm american, i still have the right to incorporate parts of my parents' culture...especially if it's harmless. it's not like circumcising a vagina, my god.)
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ok, you clearly will do wahatever you want.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]some people need regiment, some people can't function with regiment...the latter is seeming to hold true for our little family. try to make her sleep schedule match other kids' and she gets all screwed up and sleep deprived. should have kept her on her late night sched.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]then just go back to it and problem solved (you hope).
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]my question wasn't about co-sleeping...it was about fixing a problem that didn't exist before the bedtime change.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]omg - that is completely asinine. nobody got a divorce simply because of co-sleeping. The funniest thing about all of this to me is that the people who are so vocal and opinionated against co-sleeping are never those who actually co-sleep. For the life of me I cannot figure out why you care so much how other families choose their sleeping arrangements. (np)
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Too many naps. Both of my kids at that age did 7-7 sleep, then a 1 p.m. nap. My oldest kept the morning nap longer so his day was 7-7, 9 a.m. nap, 1 p.m. nap. That 4pm naps i probably screwing her up.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Maybe she needs time to settle into the new routine. Make the time she wakes up at 3am as boring for her as possible and don't interact with her. How long are her naps during the day? Does she need one longer nap rather than two shorter ones? My ds always sleeps better at night if he has napped well during the day. GL
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]her 11 a is longer, maybe up to 2 hours (bc she gets up so early, i suppose, she's exhausted.) the afternoon nap is about 45 min or an hour. last night we totally ignored her--she just left the room and was playing with her toys, flipping through her books--in the dark.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
too many naps. Cut the naps down to one big nap a day
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
how long ago did you do this. might just take some time to adjust.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:27 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]1 wk, 10 days? it's pretty consistent, waking up at 3 on the dot. totally wide awake, not grumpy, pulls books or toys off shelf (after climbing out of bed) and brings them to me, is babbling and pointing things out.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I would get a pack and play to put next to your bed with a couple of toys in it. Put her in there when she wakes up and hope she goes back to sleep after a bit.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, she's definitely too old for any crib-like thing (we got her her own aero-bed). but maybe we'll just do that general principal of letting her play until she gets tired out (on her own.)
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:50 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]
[+] For the last 2 1/2 yrs, I am awake from 2-5am. It's like I expect my 3yo dd to wake u... 3 replies
- Maybe co-sleeping would work for you?...
Talk : : July 10, 2008
For the last 2 1/2 yrs, I am awake from 2-5am. It's like I expect my 3yo dd to wake up. I can't fall back asleep! When my dd does wake up (40% off the time) and she crawls into our bed, I can immediately asleep. Should I be concerned?
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.10.08, 12:13 AM [ Flag ]Sounds you have attachment issues.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 05:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Maybe co-sleeping would work for you?
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]how many times have you posted this?
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 07:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Top Ten Things I learned from DC #1 that helped with DC #2. 1) If you are going to ... 19 replies
Talk : : July 09, 2008
Top Ten Things I learned from DC #1 that helped with DC #2. 1) If you are going to EBF get a co-sleeper; 2)If baby is drowsy after nighttime feeding, do not change diaper it will only wake him up; 3) when people give unsolicited advice just smile and thank them; 4) don't worry about establishing a routine at first, it is never too late to do it later; 5) no need to encourage early walking it just means more work for you; 6) a little dirt never killed anyone; 7) if you pediatrician gets irritated by dumb questions get a new one; 8) babies don't really need toys; 9) don't waste your money on lots of fancy outfits; and 10) if you want a helpful DH remember they respond to positive reinforcement much better than criticism.
19 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.09.08, 06:44 PM [ Flag ]i agree with your post. incidentally, I'm replying and surprised that nobody else did. i don't like this new ub and think i may leave forever.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 06:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thank you. I should leave forever. It is a total wast of time, but I keep coming back.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I like the delay. I can go do things and come back and posts are still getting attention.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 07:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]are you a 'glass half full' person or a person who makes 'lemonade out of lemons'?
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 07:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Not usually. My life just got very busy around the time of the new UB so, I appreciate it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 08:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
To add to #10, give DH responsibilities. Make DH hold the DB and leave the house. Forces them to bond.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 07:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA!
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 08:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I would also add, that if ebf, pump early on and introduce bottles so you get a break.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 07:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 07:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITA!
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 07:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]11) Don't freak out if your milk doesn't come in right away.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 07:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]but keep trying and get a lactation consultant or go to a bf support group if worried
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 07:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you forgot 0. 0) Every child is different and you don't really know, yet, what is right for #2 and what is not.
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 09:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was a big fan of #6 until ds tested positive for lead exposure. If you live in NYC there is a lot of environmental shit around. Dirty baby hands go in wet baby mouths. The dirt then goes into the baby.
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 09:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Wow that's terrible. Is your DS okay?
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 10:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yeah. Irony is he creamed the OLSAT and is at a Citywide. They say we have to be careful when he hits puberty and growth slows down.
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 10:08 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]so #6 still stands then
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 10:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, if you want to take those chances... (and after that, #6 was not entertained in our home.) All joking aside, there is a huge difference between the "little dirt" that gets into kids in rural areas and the "little dirt" in urban areas.
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 10:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]whatever. dirt is dirt. Your kid was unlucky but in general a little dirt does not do harm.
[ Reply | Options ]07.11.08, 10:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Everyone seems suspect of my claims that my 19 m/o (yes, the dvd player thrower) is a... 104 replies
- crib. it's absolutely the worst punishment for her, bc she co-sleeps w us and knows she's being punished if we put...
- easier said than done. she co-sleeps bc she is ultra-strong-willed. an example: she still bf's for...
- np--yet, you said she co-sleeps and bfs because she is "too strong willed" to do...of a piece. Her demanding to be bf, demanding to co-sleep, having the late bedtime, not "letting" you stay up after...
Talk : : July 08, 2008
Everyone seems suspect of my claims that my 19 m/o (yes, the dvd player thrower) is a naughty toddler, somehow trying to pin the blame on my childrearing. even my own mom didn't believe--but then i went away for work and my mom (who raised 4 of us) came out to take care of her...and now she's a believer. she is constantly in awe of how difficult and strong-willed my dd is.
104 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.08.08, 06:27 PM [ Flag ]I'm a preschool teacher and couldn't believe how difficult my ds was at that age. He threw and hit woke up at 5 every morning- his 3 now and doing get- just keep plugging away it will get better!
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: yes, dd hits us, throws anything she can get her hands on down the stairwell, has knocked over and broken every breakable item...we have only 1 breakable item left that is in danger (a glass lamp on the end table, which she climbs up onto to try to push off.) she refuses to go to sleep unless we all go to sleep. she will not let anyone help her, and that includes absolutely no hand-holding. pair that with the fact that she refuses to sit in her stroller AND she bolts into the street...every outing is a total nightmare. i try to hold her hand, she drops to the ground and pulls all sorts of wrestling evasion moves. it's insane. i've lost so much weight and have been constantly sick since she started walking when she was 1. i hope she's just hitting her terrible twos early?
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]what do you do for time out?
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]crib. it's absolutely the worst punishment for her, bc she co-sleeps w us and knows she's being punished if we put her in her room, in her crib.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: Of course she does. Why don't you have her sleep in her crib and use something not associated w/ sleep for time outs?
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]easier said than done. she co-sleeps bc she is ultra-strong-willed. an example: she still bf's for comfort at night, to fall asleep (thus, the co-sleeping). i've been consulting w ped (who is pro-bf, btw), who actually is concerned abt how difficult it is to 'train' my dd. she told me just to cold turkey wean her. said 2 or 3 days would do the trick. i went away for work for 7 nights straight--she was fine when i was gone, but as soon as she was back in my arms, she was tearing at my shirt. she's even more attached to my boob than before. it's insane.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Think about the fact that maybe she has too much control over you. My ds did at this age- I really had to crack down he was just so strong willed but the more I enforced the rules the better he got
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: what do you mean that she won't go to sleep unless you all to go sleep? she's 19 m.o. what is her bedtime? if your dh and you are going to bed at the same time as she is, you truly need to examine that part of your parenting.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]there is no way we can go to bed at 7p. we live nyc style. if the light is on in the other room, she can still see, even if she's in a dark room w closed door. even if we go to sleep w her, then if i sneak out to do some work--in the dark--she senses i'm not sleeping in the room, wakes up and comes looking for me. it's really getting miserable. i cannot have this child control THAT much of my life.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's ridiculous. She's a child.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]what's ridiculous? that i have absolutely no life bc of my dd, or that you think i'm being too selfish?
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That she's running the show. She's a child. It's not good for them to be in charge. They need boundaries. Even when it looks like they don't they want them, they do. It must be miserable for both of you right now. I'm sorry.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yeah, it's going to be interesting to see how this personality translates when she gets older. will she be the class bossy girl? will she battle me big time when she's a tween? or will she just be really confident and independent...anyhow, it's making dh and i feel like only having 1 child, seriously. and we started out wanting multiple.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: I would speak to a child psychologist. She's terrorizing you.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]maybe re think co- sleeping. I love sleeping with my son but it can be too much together time! You need a break or you're going to lose it one day!
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's why i asked. i don't think you are a bad parent but i think there are some books that could help you. i truly believe there are things you could do differently that would drastically improve your situation. i say that no to say "it's your fault" but "you have the power to change this - she should not have this much control over your life."
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^start with "parenting a strong willed child."
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]will look into it, thanks. at least there are people willing to say there are such things as strong-willed children. when i tell some parents that i think my dd is strong-willed, they look at me like i have 2 heads.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
well, the past week or so, i'm trying to re-try the weaning. dh is putting her to sleep, and i am removing myself from the bed (sleeping on the couch) bc if i am in the bed, she wakes up to bf several times a night. if i'm on the couch, she wakes up a couple of times to find me, but at least sleeps better. baby steps. next we'll have to figure out--once she is weaned from me--how to get her back into her own room.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I would stop using the crib for time out- If you ever want her to sleep there. start putting her to bed in there and then bring her in bed with you when she wakes up.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, will try. in fact, we are just going to convert her crib to a toddler bed, so she has the option to get out should she wake up. i think she hates the crib bc it's a prison to her--again constraining her. i think there is a chance she'll actually sleep in her toddler bed.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: That really helped my DS - hated his crib.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My ds hated his crib- I skipped the toddler bed and went right to double beds so he would have more room. Life got much better!
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yeah, i'm worried toddler bed is not wide enough bc she is used to flopping around our queen bed until she passes out.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i'd def. go straight to a twin bed with a rail. we just moved our 2.4 y.o. and life is better over here.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Actually, I don't think it's your parenting. But I was told by my ped that it's not just the number of hours a toddler sleeps - their internal clock works better if they get up with the sun and go to sleep with the sun. I thought he was full of shit, and then I changed DS's hours. It's been a miracle.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Some kids are tougher than others and some ages are tougher than others. But slapping her hand will not help you one bit with her behavior. And I too am skeptical of the sleep schedule--I know a mom w/ the same deal. Kid stays up w/ the parents until 10 or 11. They miss out on a lot of activities because they don't get up until 10 or so. And the mom now is scrambling to figure out what to do about preschool's 9 a.m. start time in the fall. Just something to think about.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i'll get to that road when i come to it. i don't think i'm going to start her in a 2's program anyhow--she'd probably not even interview well bc of her naughtiness and behavior. we are slowly moving up her sleep time (baby steps). used to be midnight to 11, now it's about 9.30-ish. no change in behavior, in fact it's getting worse. i really think it's her personality. she was colicky her first 3 months...
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, one way to think about it is that w/ a kid like that you really need a break at the end of the day. It sounds like she wants to be in control of things and a mini-adult. Having her up w/ you during the adult evening hours plays into that. Obviously if this is the deal she's used to she's not going down without a fight. But I have found the best approach is to stay very calm, speak very little and in a low, controlled voice. Keep the consequences simple & clear and related to the infraction and be incredibly consistent. One of my kids can be incredibly stubborn and difficult, so I'm not just coming down on you w/o having been there.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ok, i guess i have to work on the keeping my voice low and controlled part, too. i am screaming loudly at her (which she laughs at.) also, when i don't say anything and just stare her down--she stares ME down. i can't believe it sometimes!
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My oldest can be really tough and if it's a week where I'm on my own with both kids and not getting much of a break I can snap. But I know that it never goes as well as keeping my cool. Sometimes w/ ds (my oldest) I simply get ultra calm & stop talking to him because I don't want to lash out, and I just go about putting him in TO or to bed early and that is very effective for him. He was v. tough for me, but at a later age than your DD. But giving in on the stuff that matters to me (like bedtime) just wasn't an option, in my mind.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]how would you discipline, say, climbing on furniture? that is what angers me the most, that she climbs dangerously on the furniture. i am constantly pulling her down and scolding her, but she just moves elsewhere to climb. it's really maddening.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]First of all--give her tons of appropriate places to climb. Sign her up for a gymnastics class. Take her to the park/playground A LOT to get all that physical energy out. Be clear with her that climbing is totally ok those places, not at home. But don't freak out on her. You walk in, she's on the table "no, we don't climb on the furniture" take her down. If she does it again, same speech but put her in TO (no screaming or slapping). Wash, rinse, repeat (til you're exhausted). Fix yourself a vodka tonic @ 5pm, fix dinner, start the wind-down to bed. Put her to bed--she gets up. First time say "it's time to sleep--you stay in bed." Next time don't say anything just walk her back. Over & over & over again til you think your head is going to explode.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]going to explode.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]we take her to playground 2 times a day, she has two 3-hour gym classes per week. i need to be consistent with the time out. we just started the crib time out.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: that's normal 19 m.o. behavior. my dd did it. you can't just tell her to get down. you have to move her and find a more entertaining alternative for her. that's the key - you have to come up with something better than whatever behavior is driving you crazy.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's the issue...we DO move her (along with telling her no, of course) but she's tenacious like a bull dog. the only thing that makes her stop is if we leave the apt all together. oh, or if we pop in a dvd, which i fear will become yet another crutch. so, leaving apt and dvd are alternatives--what else? she likes us to chase her...
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]honestly - it sounds like you're making a lot of excuses. when she's up on the furniture do you get out some cars and play with her? do you put on some music and dance? there are many things you could do. you started the post with "people don't believe me" and you're right. she sounds like she needs more hands on consistent parenting. yes - she sounds demanding. but most 19 m.o. are.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes (toy bin, pulled out) yes, music together cd is turned on and i start dancing! i really, really do everything. as i said, that is why i've lost so much weight, am sick all the time. i really am giving it my 200%
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ and i didn't even get into the food / feeding battles. everything is a battle.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: okay, the food thing. Get Ellyn Satter's Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense and apply her approach. I don't even need to hear more on this one to know you need it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^and you say be consistent...i feel like i'm stuck in groundhog's day! you are telling me to put in more effort, it seems, but i cannot figure out how much more to put in. this hour on UB has been my only non-dd time all day, on dh's orders. i really will try what people suggest--stop yelling, tell her no in a calm voice, put her in a corner...i know, though, it will take me 100 x longer and 1000 x more NOs than the avg parent of a 19 m/o.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: amazon.com. done. thx.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^ and when do you guys have time to read??
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My kids are both in their beds by 7:30--plenty of time after that. Don't you want to go that route? I know she can be tough, but you need to dig in and do the tough work now (stand up to her) so you're not having it much worse later.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]this is another post in itself: how do you move a bedtime from 9.30 to 7.30? she's down to 1 sometimes 2 naps, 1st nap is 11.30a to 12.30 or 1...2nd nap is 3-5 or 4-6, depending on when she has classes...
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It would probably be good for her to have a totally consistent schedule every day. I have no idea how to move a bedtime from that late because well before a year both of mine were going to bed by 7--I knew that was the goal and we went from there. I remember reading "start as you mean to go on" in Baby Whisperer and it made a big impression on me. I want them in their own beds. I want them to fall asleep on their own. I want them to pick up their things, clear the table, what have you. It's no like they can do that as babies, but you keep it in mind as you go along instead of getting side tracked by what's easiest in the moment.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]my son is the same exact way, he is now 9 months. i try everything but i can not even put him down for 1 min he starts yelling and crying. i cant even crap anymore. he terrorizes me. i believe you!
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she's 19 mo, wakes up at 10 and then needs a nap at 11:30?
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yeah, right? Goofy kind of a schedule.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Aha! The second nap is too late. Can you maybe consolidate naps, so she goes down at 12:30 and sleeps until 3? I hear your pain and it does sound like you are trying. Some people really don't understand what it's like to have a difficult sleeper/eater or a child who likes to run around when the other kids are sitting. It's always easier to blame the parent. I do agree that you have to take control and if it means she screams in the crib because you put her down for a nap/bed earlier, then so be it. You NEED your alone time in the evening and it will make you a happier and therefore happier/calmer mother. Good luck.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 04:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^ good advice.
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 05:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]thank you for your understanding and advice! btw, fyi, i tried hard to play with her more, to preempt what i have concluded are attn-getting naughty antics...and it worked! she was an angel yesterday bc i really dedicated play time with her (rather than multitasking and half-paying attn to her.)
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what kind of activities is a toddler missing out on at 10 in the morning? are parents taking their kids to early-morning tai chi these days?
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 09:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Playdates & playgroups (in this other mom's case). Classes, story time, co-op preschool. Sure, if that schedule REALLY works for someone great. But the mom I know with that schedule thinks it's fine but has a sleep consultant. And this mom here sounds like she has no clue how to manage.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 09:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I posted below -- I have a 19 m/o too, and she is not naughty per se -- just very high spirited and strong willed. It's a miracle more stuff of ours hasn't been wrecked, honestly. You have my sympathy.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: dd used to be just high-spirited and strong-willed...she's sweet about 25% of the day, and happy as a clam as long as she is not constrained or controlled in any way. however, 75% of what she does is dangerous exploration or just being a PITA, so unfortunately, we have to constrain/control her movements (like hold her hand while walking, pull her off from the rocking chair arm that she stands on, etc) and that is when WWIII, WWIV, WWV break out...
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: okay, so what happens if you're out walking & you need her to hold your hand? She refuses and then what? I mean the logical consequence is "you can hold my hand or get picked up or ride in the stroller." When she balks then put the consequence into action immediately (with her having an exorcist like fit & people staring at you--whatever) and then just go along. Do this often enough and she might figure out she doesn't like the consequence and she
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: The exorcist analogy is spot-on. I used to have to wrestle DS into the stroller, and he would buck at the straps like he was possessed. But I finally broke him - he knew the consequences of not holding hands!
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: i've had to do that for my dd since she could walk. "hold my hand or i will carry you." and yes - she kicks, screams and injures me if i pick her up and she doesn't want me to. and yes, it's embarrassing. but i've done it long enough that at 2.5 those incidents are few and far between now. but at 17 months they were pretty frequent.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ok, good to know...it will get better.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
oh, we do this all the time. i grab her hand / arm, she drops to her knees or 4s. i pick her up when she doesn't get up, put her in stroller after massive battle--and even if it's tightened all the way (bugaboo), she manages to wriggle out and stands up screaming and crying her head off while i'm pushing her. then have to stop and do it all over again.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
here is the thing: when you say no - do you truly mean it? is there an immediate consequence to her behavior every single time? parenting a strong willed toddler is not about giving in to keep the peace. it's about keeping her world small enough to limit her chances to have that behavior and giving consistent consequences when the behvior occurs. i'm not saying she's not a difficult child but her being difficult means you have to be more on top of things than most parents. it doesn't mean saying "oh well- we let her stay up b/c she puts up such a fuss."
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, i do mean it each time i say no. i scold so often, i worry that it seem just like normal talking to her...which is why i've started including crib time outs to the scolding. scolding always includes stern speaking (ok, yelling). a hand slap if it's really bad (now, she runs away before i can slap her hand and she faux-slaps herself--so i know she knows it's bad.) recently, my scolding also includes me breaking down in tears--which is one of the only things that makes dd stop and be sweet and remorseful.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What fun things do you do with her. It sounds like your in a negative cycle. She may think that it is normal to behave badly have mommy yell and scream then move on to the next bad thing. She only one for goodness sakes she shouldn't be able to reduce mommy to tears.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]when we go to the park (or, rather, when we make it to the park) we have a lot of fun. at home, it is difficult all day long. i usually am reduced to tears 'only' at home. i actually think she has fun pushing my buttons. she even has developed this smirk that says, 'they said no, so i'm definitely going to do it!' i just hope this phase passes before cold weather comes back!
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^also, bed time has become a super fun and sweet ritual for all 3 of us (though i missed it tonight bc dh told me to stay out of the pic after i gave her her time out.)
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^OP: AHHH! I just had an epiphany!! 'the 3 of us...' she is the sweetest little girl when we 3 are doing things together. her bad, destructive behavior happens when we're doing other things (work, keeping house, etc.) It's her way of getting our attention. it doesn't apply to not holding hands while walking, but i think 99% of the bad stuff happens when we're not totally focused on her as a familial unit!
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
it may be fun pushing your bottons but no toddler likes to have mommy angry all the time- think about it.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i am thinking about it. so why does she do it all day long, then?
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
^^ oh, and putting her to bed is actually one of the easier things in life these days. as long as we all take her to bed, she happily climbs in and will soon fall asleep (the only problem being that if i take her to bed, she wants to bf.)
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I like you.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: i do mean it when i say no, i do dole out consistent consequences. getting her to sleep is not at all a battle. it's her behavior during the day and damaging furniture, running away from us, etc.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np--yet, you said she co-sleeps and bfs because she is "too strong willed" to do otherwise. she doesn't fight at bedtime because you are doing exactly what she wants.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, co-sleeping and bf'ing are the least of my worries at this point. in fact, it is one of the sweet times of day...i am just uncomfortable about how unweanable she seems.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^also, just about everything else is a battle with her. i don't want absolutely everything to be a battle. i want to have sweet time with my child.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I've read through the whole post and you don't seem to want to make any serious changes.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i've asked several times, but everyone seems fixated on the least of my concerns (bedtime). i am most concerned about how she keeps doing dangerous things (climbing on furniture, pulling away from us when walking). we scold and discipline and remove her and move her...she i like whack-a-mole / broken record. how do you discipline that in an effective way?
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA with the poster above. in order to not make everything be a battle, give her some control over smaller issues and just focus on the major ones (safety) where she must cooperate.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^the poster below. you are the one that brought up bedtime. So she climbs on furniture--in a stern voice say "No, that's dangerous" and move her. she goes to do it again, be the broken record and sit with her for a minute or so. Keep repeating or distract her by doing something she is allowed to do.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she easily calms down when i pop in a dvd. however, i fear getting her addicted to dvds. at this point, they actually have been beneficial, encouraging her to speak...and she's learning to count. but, is this a bad crutch?
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]so you're rewarding her behavior with a dvd? If she refuses to be distracting, then you may have to physically prevent her from engaging in the dangerous behavior. not by slapping her, but maybe by sitting on the floor and hugging her so she can't move (like a time out, with you).
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ok, this i will try. the TO hug. i DO remove her physically, but i will also pin her down w a TO hug and tons of kisses. good suggestion.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, the kisses will do the trick. you are obviously not kissing her enough.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: no, not kisses--you're rewarding the negative behavior again. A TO hug would be firm hold, facing away from you, until she calms down. Works for some kids.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol--from the poster above you. this has got to be a fake post. she can't be that clueless, can she?
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't think so. There is a mom from my ds's kinder class last year that reminds me of this. "Ohhhh, he's so unhappy in the a.m. It's so hard to get to school on time. He just fights me on it. What should I do? Should we just be late and happy?" What the hell? If I can get my two VERY spirited kids ready & to school early every day by myself, then someone w/ one kid should be able to reasonably manage.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I guess you have a point. after she posted about the kissing, I felt like I was talking to a wall.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, yeah, I get that feeling too. The mom who can't get to kinder on time has one kid, part-time. I think it's almost like it's harder w/ just the one because you obsess so much about it all. Through another kid into the mix and you get more efficient and practical. But the slapping the hand thing--that really made me wonder.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOL.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 08:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: i slap my dc on the wrist. i don't think there is anything wrong with that. i've been reading the entire thing. people are totally black and white on the disciplining thing, and i can relate to how a parent can wonder what is the right thing/wrong thing when people are telling you to discipline harder on the one hand, while others follow the gentle route. it's confusing and hard, especially if you have a strong-willed child.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 09:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have a strong-willed child. I am not a pushover. But seriously, slapping does what exactly? It just doesn't make any sense to me. I do get that parenting is hard and when you have a particularly challenging kid you may have no idea what will work, what to do. But surely there are other things to try first?
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 09:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
IMO, Kids like this need a lot of structure (posted in bit above about my oldest--very strong-willed). I totally get wanting the sweet time you have "putting her to bed" (it's more like her putting you to bed) but it's all of a piece. Her demanding to be bf, demanding to co-sleep, having the late bedtime, not "letting" you stay up after her. Think about how that sounds. She is running everything--very scary for her. If you start putting in tons of structure and consistency for her (and for goodness' sake, stop slapping her hand) she is going to fight you tooth & nail at the start, but it will get much better than going down the road you are on.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]so, how do you discipline bad actions if you suggest not to slap? stern voice definitely does not do it alone. crib definitely works. should i time her out in crib and stop the hand slap?
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Stop the hand slap now. What do you think it accomplishes? Nothing. Low, stern voice (not hysterical voice). Remove her, redirect. If that doesn't work, then remove her from the room/situation to TO. NOT the crib--a TO step or mat or chair would be fine. She will get up. Put her back. Do it the same way--same words, actions--every time. Kids like this really need to know that there is no crack or loop hole or alternative. But the biggest thing is give her lots of ways to be successful (like gymnastics) to begin with.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]would it be bad to give her TO by putting her in our bedroom and closing the door? is it bad to close a door on a toddler?
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Be sure to give her positive reinforcement as well. When she uses self- control praise her. I forget this sometimes and find I'm always angry at ds- he's so little but makes me sooo mad sometimes.
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 06:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks for reminder...i'm actually very good at this. i'm so conscious and scared about how angry i get, i am very diligent about emphasizing the thank you's and 'good girl!' and doling out hugs--if only to calm my blood!
[ Reply | Options ]07.08.08, 07:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I totally disagree with these posts. Your child id not your enemy, she just has a very strong need for autonomy (and has very little of it, being a toddler, and a mainsteam-parented one at that). She sounds like a born leader who will have the will to do whatever she wants to in life, if her spirit is not broken. How wonderful! And difficult. Read _Raising Your Spirited Child_ by Mary Kurcinka and _The Explosive Child_ by Ross Greene. These are *great* resources. Good luck...
[ Reply | Options ]07.09.08, 12:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]omg. you are an angel. the other posts were making me feel like shit, in part bc our family (and dh, me, db as individuals) doesn't work well when we try to follow mainstream advice...when i look at it, we are actually most content when--as you pointed out--we let her have autonomy...BUT, i discovered a key thing yesterday: i need to integrate that with actually dedicating attn and playtime with her, rather than just multitasking or letting her play on her own. yesterday, she was an angel bc i was paying more attn to her, which actually allowed me to have a bit more of me-time because she was content, rather than thinking of ways to get my attn! i know she marches to her own drum, i definitely don't want to break her spirit, bc when she's not being naughty, she's amazing.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Me again! Thanks for posting back. I actually think I have a similar dd to yours, but she is younger than your dd... I may need to heed my own advice here soon! (I just happen to have read a lot of very wise mothers' words who have met similar challenges using a partnership, rather than a top-down approach, and am attempting to pass down some of that wisdom). There's a lot to be said for following your own gut instincts; glad this resonated with you...
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 05:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
As we raised our almost six year old it was all I could do to not sit my other parent friends down and try and teach them my way of parenting. My kid was so good it was obvious that I knew -- innately -- the better way to parent. I held my tongue. Early on I learned at UB, "Don't criticize how other people parent." But minding my piece was difficult. I thought, maybe I should write a book. Then fate gave us #2. Raising this kid has made me painfully aware of how good and easy #1 is. I am humbled.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]That second kid gives you a lot of perspective, right? My first (I posted about him above in this thread) is very strong-willed and challenging. I won't go into what potty training was like, but a pure nightmare and I felt like a complete failure. DD came along and is so very easy in many ways. Potty trained herself at age 2. It helped me see that a lot of what happens w/ my kids is their temperments and not anything great or awful that I'm doing. That said, I still know how I like things to go for our family and home and I do stick by that.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 05:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I have a spirited 19 mo ds as well. I disagree with you the that bedtime issue is irrelevant. If anything, an earlier bedtime will give you back your sanity. On difficult days, this is my only saving grace. My ds sleeps in a crib in a sleep sack so that she cannot climb out. We CIO when necessary, but it rarely is as if there is one thing we have been extremely consistent with, it's her bedtime routine. She loves to climb on furniture, resists the stroller and also refuses to hold our hand. However, I have seen improvements on all three fronts in the past few weeks simply because we have not allowed her to run the show. I NEVER yell at her or use physical punishment. All that does is give her the power. Even if I am at my wits' end, I keep the upper hand. If she needs to take a fit, I let her and I don't react. She is very persistent about things that she wants. We are dealing with a lot of tantrums, but we don't let her win. And often, the best way to deal is to just give her some attention and fun. Making her laugh and playing games with her and reading to her makes her forget whatever she was crying for and helps turn around her mood. Good luck! I can only imagine what you are going through.
[ Reply | Options ]07.10.08, 05:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] In what ways would you consider yourself non-mainstream? 29 replies
- Homebirther, attachment parent yet pro-vaccination (albeit delayed), co-sleeper, extended breastfeeder, pro-alternative medicine...
Talk : : July 05, 2008
In what ways would you consider yourself non-mainstream?
29 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]07.05.08, 05:16 PM [ Flag ]I call all the shots.
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 05:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i still listen to reo speedwagon
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 05:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]me too;)
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 05:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]then maybe we are mainstream!
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 05:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm 43 yo . You?
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 05:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]39 yo, I was in on the Wagon at 5th Grade!
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 05:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: This is too funny! DH just accidentally recorded an REO concert and was about to erase it. I yelled, "Stop!" I think they're the worst, but I love some of their songs. Crazy, huh?
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 05:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^I'm 44.
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 05:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
That's not non-mainstream, it's just a complete lack of musical taste.
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ok, so it's mainstream to listen to REO Speedwagon. How about this, STFU!
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Your choice of language is as refined as your taste in music.
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Take the stick out of your ass already. What are your mainstream musical tastes that are so refined. The poster asked what makes yourself non- mainstream? You're an ass.
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 07:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I give birth at home
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 05:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think I'm a very conventional person who has made some unconventional decisions.
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Physically different, much more intellectual/well-read
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]and modest
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]When I say physically different I mean disabled. But thank you for your charming assumption - bitch.
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was referring to the "more intellectual and well-read," and had no way of knowing what the heck you meant by physically different, but if you want to trying the guilt-trip thing works for you, I won't get in your way.
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: I thought she meant short or funny looking. But I guess it means self-righteous and defensive.
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I don't work for money, and by the numbers that's not very mainstream. My second birth was natural. I kept my name (more mainstream in NYC).
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]we're clones ;)
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]In Brooklyn? :)
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i moved out of nyc awhile ago. miss it though.
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]We miss you, too.
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what do you wirk for rubles?
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 07:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Homebirther, attachment parent yet pro-vaccination (albeit delayed), co-sleeper, extended breastfeeder, pro-alternative medicine
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 06:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you sound like fun
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 07:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i like living in gritty neighborhoods, among working class families, even though we are HHI.
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 07:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Is listening to ABBA mainstream? I still love them, even after all these years
[ Reply | Options ]07.05.08, 07:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] For any moms who are struggling with going the route of letting their baby cio.. i ju... 7 replies
- My dcs were co-sleepers and we were all rested w/o cio. They transitioned to their own beds and rooms by 2yrs and have always been good sleepers....
Talk : : June 29, 2008
For any moms who are struggling with going the route of letting their baby cio.. i just have to say it has totally changed napping and night bedtime.. my little guy is 8 mons and I resisted... but I have to say i am a convert. Napping was 45 mins of rocking, soothing, in and out... then 45 mins of sleep. He would be in tears as soon as i put him down.. now he happily curles up and goes to sleep. 80% of the time I dont hear a peep from him, other times he talks to himself for a little while.. But I think CIO is only part, setting a good nap schedule and sticking to it also was a big part...
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.29.08, 03:41 PM [ Flag ]cruel
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 03:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOL! Yeah - teaching your child to self soothe is horrible. Poor kid will be able to sleep better and more easily and have a rested mother too. Awful
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 03:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]seriously! Why is it that I hear all the time here "whatever is best for the mom (WOH, divorce, affair etc)is best for the baby too. Whatever makes you happy" but let someone mention CIO, which is best for most moms, and all of a sudden it's horrible and mean.
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 03:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]"whatever is best for mom" is what people say to make the selfish mom feel better.
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 03:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
My dcs were co-sleepers and we were all rested w/o cio. They transitioned to their own beds and rooms by 2yrs and have always been good sleepers.
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 03:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well that's great that it worked for your family. That would not have worked for mine. I don't think your way is wrong for you, why do you insist on calling my way cruel and wrong? Its different. period
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 03:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]A baby's only way to communicate is to cry. If you ignore the cry, you are ignoring your baby's needs. I guess I don't understand how you can let a little baby who is totally dependant on you cry and cry until they can't cry anymore.
[ Reply | Options ]06.29.08, 03:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Talk me down. DS is still nursing at 2 1/2 years. It used to be a lot now we are down... 11 replies
Talk : : June 20, 2008
Talk me down. DS is still nursing at 2 1/2 years. It used to be a lot now we are down to about 2-3 times, bed time and in the middle of the night (co-sleep). I want to wean by mid-August but now I feel guilty bc I wound up at Kellymom and LaLeche sites. Tell me I should wean (but don't flame).
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.20.08, 01:08 PM [ Flag ]Don't feel guilty! Most people wean by 6 months, so your ds has gotten more than most. And at that age, he can get all the nutrients he needs from food and milk.
[ Reply | Options ]06.20.08, 01:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ew I am sorry but that is gross. When they walk you should stop, it just looks and is very odd.
[ Reply | Options ]06.20.08, 01:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You are an uninformed woman.
[ Reply | Options ]06.20.08, 01:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Nothing to feel guilty about.
[ Reply | Options ]06.20.08, 01:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What seriou? That is gross it is like lyneete's co-worker on Desperate Houswives. Get that kid a sippy cup.
[ Reply | Options ]06.20.08, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she feels guilty about stopping, not bf'ing till now.
[ Reply | Options ]06.20.08, 01:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: whatever. To the OP, don't feel bad about weaning. If you are ready to wean, then db's time is up. I bfed until db was 2 and then I was just ready to wean. If you are beginning to feel resentful or uncomfortable (physically), then that is your sign to stop it, just as you would if db lost interest or wasn't comfortable. All of the bfing advocates say for as long as is "mutually
[ Reply | Options ]06.20.08, 01:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^sorry. "Mutually beneficial" to both mother and child. And don't listen to the whack jobs. You know they have nothing better to do .
[ Reply | Options ]06.20.08, 01:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I nursed DD up to nearly 2 years, but the night-nursing damaged her top front teeth. They don't need that middle of hte night feeding at all and it's bad for the teeth. Of course DD probably inherited my cavities. It's been great for her immune system, but I would gently urge you to break the boob.
[ Reply | Options ]06.20.08, 01:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks all of you with helpful words. It's amazing how nursing elicits such strong reactions from some people. I never imagined we'd be nursing for so long (actually never thought I'd nurse at all bc I didnt get pg for years). Ds was a premie but always loved to nurse. Last winter he was really sick w pneumonia so we postponed weaning. But it's time
[ Reply | Options ]06.20.08, 02:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Wean. Esp the nightfeed. Kellymom and LaLeche are a little ridiculously extreme, ignore them and listen to more middle of the road pp.
[ Reply | Options ]06.20.08, 06:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Pack n' Play with bassinet or mini co-sleeper for db #2? 5 replies
- i loved my co-sleeper...
- hijack: someone gave me a bassinet, should I go ahead and use it or buy a co-sleeper? Is it that much better?...
Talk : : June 16, 2008
Pack n' Play with bassinet or mini co-sleeper for db #2?
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.16.08, 08:14 PM [ Flag ]i loved my co-sleeper
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 08:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]mini or regular?
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 08:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
mini cosleeper
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 08:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]hijack: someone gave me a bassinet, should I go ahead and use it or buy a co-sleeper? Is it that much better?
[ Reply | Options ]06.16.08, 08:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NO. use what you have.
[ Reply | Options ]06.17.08, 06:27 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] is there some alternative to the arms reach co-sleeper? I love it for its functional... 2 replies
Talk : : June 13, 2008
is there some alternative to the arms reach co-sleeper? I love it for its functionality, but the colors are so ugly. I want something cute.
2 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.13.08, 05:37 PM [ Flag ]You can also simply leave one side off of the crib. Honestly it is silly to be picky over baby gear colors.
[ Reply | Options ]06.13.08, 05:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]they have white
[ Reply | Options ]06.13.08, 05:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Co-sleeping question: WHich is easier, co-sleep or use an Arm's Reach Co-sleeper att... 4 replies
- ^^also, it isn't an either/or, both my babies spent time in teh co-sleeper and in our bed, adn if they were in with me the co-sleeper acted as a bedrail....
- how long were you actually able to use it as a co-sleeper?? My DD is already over 2months old...
Talk : : June 11, 2008
Co-sleeping question: WHich is easier, co-sleep or use an Arm's Reach Co-sleeper attached to the bed. From reviews, I worry I wont use it that long, and that the mattress wont be flush w/ our mattress. What are your thoughts??
4 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.11.08, 11:31 AM [ Flag ]i loved the co-sleeper. it is true the mattress isn't flush, but i had no problem lifting the baby out. we stil had plenty of room in our bed, and no worries about baby falling out.
[ Reply | Options ]06.11.08, 11:32 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^also, it isn't an either/or, both my babies spent time in teh co-sleeper and in our bed, adn if they were in with me the co-sleeper acted as a bedrail.
[ Reply | Options ]06.11.08, 11:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]how long were you actually able to use it as a co-sleeper?? My DD is already over 2months old....
[ Reply | Options ]06.11.08, 11:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]my first was out of it a 4-5 mos b/c he was already crawling out and pulling up. my 2d stayed in a lot longer because she was not as mobile. it converts into a playyard if you wat that.
[ Reply | Options ]06.11.08, 11:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Has anyone here used the Arms Reach Co-sleeper instead of bringing baby to your bed? ... 9 replies
- I also didn't like the lifting out of the bassinet and finally ended up just chucking the snuggle-nest as wll and co-sleeping with him until we broke down and got a babynurse who helped us get him to sleep in the crib....
- .I am considering buying a used one. Full size for $60. I would just co-sleep, but w/ the 2 of us and the dogs there isn't much room!...
Talk : : June 09, 2008
Has anyone here used the Arms Reach Co-sleeper instead of bringing baby to your bed? Did you like it? How long where you able to use it before baby outgrew it? Right now I am HATING the bassinet. TIA!!!
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.09.08, 01:34 PM [ Flag ]we used a snuggle nest. it was ok. but let's face it, they just don't sleep much at first no matter what!
[ Reply | Options ]06.09.08, 01:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]so true!! I just HATE trying to lift baby up over the edge of the bassient to our bed to BF...It is so annoying, esp when I am half asleep!
[ Reply | Options ]06.09.08, 01:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I also didn't like the lifting out of the bassinet and finally ended up just chucking the snuggle-nest as wll and co-sleeping with him until we broke down and got a babynurse who helped us get him to sleep in the crib.
[ Reply | Options ]06.09.08, 01:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
yes, i had that and used it for 10 months. it was pretty great. we had hte mini one, and we borrowed it- my only objection is that it's pricey so wsee if you can borrow one
[ Reply | Options ]06.09.08, 01:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]but it's worth it even if you have to buy it
[ Reply | Options ]06.09.08, 01:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks....I am considering buying a used one. Full size for $60. I would just co-sleep, but w/ the 2 of us and the dogs there isn't much room!
[ Reply | Options ]06.09.08, 01:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: LOL - the dogs will be sleeping on the floor before you know it.
[ Reply | Options ]06.09.08, 01:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i dont' know...they have made it through one kid already...
[ Reply | Options ]06.09.08, 01:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^though I hope they will start sleeping w/ our 4yo soon!
[ Reply | Options ]06.09.08, 01:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Too tired to comprehend various sleep manuals. Why, why, why does my 5 month old cons... 15 replies
- will he sleep with you? i'm not a co-sleeper proponent, but when my second kid was a really bad sleeper, i just nursed him all night for weeks until he got bigger and we let him cio. at 7 mos. like i said, i'm no co-sleeper proponent, but i am in favor of everyone in the house sleeping. i did whatever it took to keep the house asleep. it's tough, but...
Talk : : June 06, 2008
Too tired to comprehend various sleep manuals. Why, why, why does my 5 month old consistently wake up every 45 minute throughout the night and is unable to put self back to sleep? 45 minute, people. I'm like a walking zombie. Help.
15 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]06.06.08, 10:38 AM [ Flag ]that's what they do
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Every 45 minutes? For days on end? No way. I thought most babies started to grow into a longer sleep cycle by now.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
hmm, i had a horrible sleeper, but that is pretty bad and i would say, unusual. and i agree, who can digest sleep manifestos when your'e that tired. so my questions: is dc warm enough, too warm, maybe look for things in his diet. can you try a white noise machine? what happens when dc wakes? wants to nurse?
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]He wants us to put him back to sleep - he needs holding, jiggling, bouncing, rocking, OR nursing to get put back to sleep. He's not picky about the method, he just needs help getting back down. We tried some half-assed CIO, but gave up after he had cried for 2.5 hours (not straight, we were checking and consoling at intervals throughout).
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]it may be a little young for CIO. i would just try to survive another couple of weeks and closer to 6mo do CIO again. and don't give up or it makes the whole thing a mean waste.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
that's the age when they start to realize that you'll come if they call you. that's also around the age that i started letting my dd cry a bit to see if she could settle self. started just reinserting paci and comforting a bit but walking away quickly. never picked up. eventually she learned. longest she ever cried was 30 minutes or so (not continuously - we did periodic checks on her and she'd calm down for a bit)
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]make sure db naps during the day and make sure is being fed enough.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Eh, he's over 20 pounds at exactly 5 months. I'd say hunger is not his problem. Naps are a huge struggle too . . .
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
will he sleep with you? i'm not a co-sleeper proponent, but when my second kid was a really bad sleeper, i just nursed him all night for weeks until he got bigger and we let him cio. at 7 mos. like i said, i'm no co-sleeper proponent, but i am in favor of everyone in the house sleeping. i did whatever it took to keep the house asleep. it's tough, but you'll get thru it. also, talk to your ped. mine had good advice about when it was appropriate to CIO, how much sleep, how much nursing, etc.....
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]sounds like teething to me - ask your ped for some reccomendations for gum soothing stuff.
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]does he burp when you pick him up? my baby with silent reflux slept for 45mins at that age...
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 10:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Do you swaddle him? We used the miracle blanket until DB grew out of it around 7 months. He was a great sleeper in his little baby straight jacket!
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 11:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: sorry to or above but I couldn't post a reply to you - kept taking me back to sign-in page! About the swimsuit, wld it be crazy to buy it now anyway? It's in my size (which you rarely find on sale)...Tia
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 07:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry, wrong post!
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i guess i must be tired, also. i read this as "too tired to sleep with various animals..."
[ Reply | Options ]06.06.08, 07:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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