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[+] someone distract me. i'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. can't we have a stupid a... 23 replies
- DE? I know someone who went thru IVF 7 times and has 4 kids. Believe me, hang in there. After 5 miscarriages, we started the adoption process. The adoption fell through and we lost the baby girl. I now have a 3 yo boy and 10 week old girl...
Talk : : February 15, 2009
someone distract me. i'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. can't we have a stupid argument about something?
23 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.15.09, 05:03 PM [ Flag ]-
lol. not quite a change of subject, is that?
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Happy longtime public school parent here. What exactly is the cause of your misery? (Schools obviously...but what's your situation.)
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no, not schools. you know the nut that has been posting for two days about her miscarriage? that's me. now i'm having a panic attack and i really need to be distracted.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm so sorry. I've never had an mc. It must be just terrible.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Let's talk. Where did you go to college and what did you major in?
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. economics major from a cuny school. i was just thinking recently that it seems like nearly all posters here are college graduates. do you think that's accurate?
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree. I was a music major. Leaving tomorrow to go visit my alma mater. First time in 14 years!
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]cool! that's going to be an experience. we were such babies when we were in college. at least, i was. do you do anything related to your degree now?
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I do. I was a voice major. I still sing some professionally (small stuff) and teach lessons. Used to work in classical music radio. How did or didn't you use your econ degree?
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]for a couple of years i worked in financial companies. then i switched fields and although i'm not working in finance/economics now, i got my job b/c they were impressed with my financial background.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 06:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I've had 5 miscarriages and 2 healthy children after 9 1/2 years of fertility issues that ran the gamut. My heart truly goes out to you. It will get better, I promise. Be good to yourself and let yourself feel whatever you may feel. Don't pretend, just go with the flow :)
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. i'm really lucky b/c i had healthy kids before the miscarriages. which i think makes it easier for me philosophically. but it's so hard to have it snatched away. trying to readjust all my thinking, all my plans, etc. and the anxiety. this feeling of instability b/c you start realizing anything can happen and it can happen to you, not just to other people.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What the miscarriages and fertility have given me is perspective. When I'm exhausted (which is a lot these days), I remember how sad and hopeless I felt without my kids. Be grateful, which I know you already are, so push through this. I know that having a plan is comforting, but life gives us what we want and don't want. Do something special for yourself this week (eat a brownie, go a for a walk, get a massage, read a junky magazine...something!)
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks very much.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: that is such a nice post - only someone who has been through hell can understand. signed, someone about to try ivf#7 and considering DE.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]de?
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]donor egg.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]do you feel empowered by having the option or do you feel like it's a last resort, hail mary type of thing?
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]totally empowered and hopeful. not hail mary at all. the odd are so much better than the crap i have seen with my own eggs. wish i had moved to it sooner.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 06:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that sounds great. good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
DE? I know someone who went thru IVF 7 times and has 4 kids. Believe me, hang in there. After 5 miscarriages, we started the adoption process. The adoption fell through and we lost the baby girl. I now have a 3 yo boy and 10 week old girl....one of each! I'm not overly religious, but GOD has a plan! We are blessed and so will you be!
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks. i think my plan is to move on to donor egg - tired of waiting for god to figure things out for me.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 05:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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[+] Is Fieldston Lower particularly Jewish, WASPy, or otherwise? 11 replies
- I think we are a typical FL family: one Jewish parent, one Protestant parent, one biologic dc, one adopted Asian dc....
Talk : : February 15, 2009
Is Fieldston Lower particularly Jewish, WASPy, or otherwise?
11 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.15.09, 03:36 PM [ Flag ]More Asian rural yet urban with a touch of clover.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 03:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Uh, thanks.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 03:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Really sick of these offensive questions,
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 03:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How is my question offensive? I just want to know what to expect.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 03:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's ethnically diverse, but most of the white people I know are Jewish.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 03:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OK, thanks. We're ethnically diverse too so maybe we'll fit in fine.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 04:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
expect that there are going to be some children there from various backgrounds. geez.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 06:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think we are a typical FL family: one Jewish parent, one Protestant parent, one biologic dc, one adopted Asian dc.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 06:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My dd's class is about 1/3 Jewish, 1/3 black, 1/3 protestant, but not waspy.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Are black neither Jewish nor Protestant?
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Most of the black kids are catholic, actually, some are protestant and a couple are Jewish (one black parent, one Jewish parent). But the point is how the kids see themselves, how they group themselves when they are older. the black kids focus on race, not religion. The white kids tend to separate themselves by religion.
[ Reply | Options ]02.15.09, 07:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Didn't want to hijack the other thread: I'm applying DS to K next fall as well and ne... 9 replies
- btdt--dc adopted at 20 months, dh and I felt sure would do...dc would be happy and which schools were comfortable with adoptive background (also got some surprisingly off-putting comments during interviews about adopted status). So all in all, quite worth it and we feel we took the right...
- Actually, studies have shown that adopted children's academic performance converges on their adoptive parents...
Talk : : February 13, 2009
Didn't want to hijack the other thread: I'm applying DS to K next fall as well and need to figure out the ERBs. I think he will need some prepping, as we adopted him when he was 21 months old and so he didn't have the same start as most kids taking the ERB. But this is precisely why we want to sacrifice and send him to a great school. Advice?
9 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.13.09, 09:50 AM [ Flag ]Do you think he would be able to keep up in a top school? Maybe a more nurturing, not ERB focused place would be a better choice for him?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]bs-- op is right that ds will probably score less well, and not bc IQ is any lower.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 10:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]GMAB, let's be frank - IQ is 90% genetic. DC may be bright, but nothing in the OP's post notes that.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 10:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Actually, studies have shown that adopted children's academic performance converges on their adoptive parents' by late teenager years. ("School performance of international adoptees better than expected from cognitive test results." Lindblad et al 2009, for example)
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 10:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Your conclusion is not the study's conclusion, which btw, does not really compare to what we're talking about here - the parents applying to top private schools are not comparable to average Swedes.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 10:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Maybe hold him back year instead of worrying about prepping for an exam.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]btdt--dc adopted at 20 months, dh and I felt sure would do better with small classes in private school. Dc had speech/OT, we prepped in the sense of extra puzzles, focusing on categories at home. OK ERBs. Got a sense throughout the process of where dc would be happy and which schools were comfortable with adoptive background (also got some surprisingly off-putting comments during interviews about adopted status). So all in all, quite worth it and we feel we took the right route for our child.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 10:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: wow, this is really interesting. Any good resources to share? Any other advice? BTW, I think he is very bright, and he comes from a culture that is historically very intelligent, but an early environment that was not nearly as enriching as the avg nyc kid. The genetics are there. No question about it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
POST ONLY IN NY SCHOOLS
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I'm Jewish, DH is not. Recently I've started going to synaggogue and at first Dh said... 40 replies
- Even though you agreed before you were married, he may still have reservations about completely giving up his Christian roots. Think of a surrogate mother or someone who promises to give up her child to a family for adoption and then changes her mind. Why not compromise a little and let dc's go to church with him too?...
Talk : : February 13, 2009
I'm Jewish, DH is not. Recently I've started going to synaggogue and at first Dh said he would go with me. He went once and was put off because it was so not like church (!). It's a conservative congregation. We were invited to a seder which is not a really religious thing, more like a dinner. He's not sure he'll come. I feel hurt and sad that we can't do this togehter. Anyone else in this position? How have you handled it?
40 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.13.09, 08:37 AM [ Flag ]There have been non-Jews at many seders I have attended. In fact the mantra of Passover is to welcome to the table all those who are hungry. I remember in high school my best friend - who is Indian - wanted to come, and in college one of my closest friends who was Christian made a point of going too. It's really a wonderful meal because it teaches about the importance of freedom - not just from physical bonds but from discrimination. So it's a good time to welcome - and be respectful of - differences. (Also I have heard some Christian religions believe Passover was Jesus' Last Supper. So, could be interesting for that reason as well.)
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]tell him you totally understand about the synagogue, which is all in a foreign language for one thing, but a Seder is just a family dinner with an sweet old story (about killing Egyptian children, but whatever).
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I hope the OR didn't consider this a LOL, since it isn't funny in the least. There is killing of both Jewish children and Egyptian children in the story, which I agree isn't exactly kid-friendly. But (not to get political) describing Passover as a story about "killing Egyptian children" is pretty much the one-sided analysis I'd expect from an uneducated person commented on middle east politics.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, it's one of the themes. And of course Pharaoh started it, having all the Hebrew children killed
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I can imagine that a conservative synagogue would be more difficult. Did you not look at reform or other synagogues? There are some that really cater to interfaith couples and your dh might not feel as uncomfortable. Has your dh never been to a seder? Many non-Jews I know, especially in NYC, have attended at least one, especially if they are married to a Jew. Seders are much less religious (and more fun) than a synagogue service, so hopefully dh will try at least one.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]good point re: reform.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]More from OR above: Also, it's odd that OP didn't discuss this earlier with dh. There are lots of compromises you can make. For example, we spend Christmas with dh's family and do Passover with mine. The non-Jewish spouse doesn't have to attend synagogue regularly, but participating in home-based traditions is different.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITA. took the words right out of my mouth
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
religion, any one, has always been a reason for sadness, abuse, conflict. forget about synagogue and have a happy, meaningful life with your dh
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I disagree. This is a very broad statement.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
We agreed about these issues before we were married. We are raising our kids in one faith (judaism). We have seders/chanukah/purim and DH supports and participates. We checked out several schuls before and after we were married, DH is not a religious person so he will never really go. Makes me sad when I am there on holidays and hard b/c what kid likes sitting through a service, particularly when dad does not bother. I think in these situations the best plan would be to join a schul, make friends with families so kids feel like there are part of a fun community. DH will join in during the less religious type of events.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Even though you agreed before you were married, he may still have reservations about completely giving up his Christian roots. Think of a surrogate mother or someone who promises to give up her child to a family for adoption and then changes her mind. Why not compromise a little and let dc's go to church with him too?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: This is a really odd answer. OR said her DH WASN'T A RELIGIOUS PERSON. She didn't say he wanted to attend church or take the kids. Just that he didn't want to attend a synagogue either. I think it's important to have a single religion for a child -- otherwise it's meaningless -- but of course the child could always explore other religions later.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Maybe he didn't think he was religious, but now that he's being overexposed to another religion he misses his own faith. It's like how you don't miss something until it's gone. He's not allowed to be Christian anymore so he misses it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Again, for all you know her dh is Muslim or, believe it or not, raised as an atheist. It's very weird you are assuming facts here.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^in fact, he may actually be of Jewish descent, but raised without a religion. But you are certain he wishes to take his children to church!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Dh raised Catholic, but is agnostic. He knows my religion is important to me.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]So is he pining to start attending church again, as this poster believes?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
HELLO. Did you read the original post? Try again and maybe you'll understand it this time. Here's a hint, look for the phrase: "put off because it was so not like church"
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]You are correct. I did miss that. However, I never got the impression from that post that the dh had expressed any interest in taking the kids to church, just that he found going to synagogue strange and that he was not a religious person. So I still don't understand why you'd leap to the conclusion that the responder was being uncompromising by forbidding dh to take the kids to church.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^actually, I'm wrong. I think this OR is NOT the OP, this is an entirely different person giving advice to the OP. So this OR's did not say anything about her dh thinking synagogue was not like church -- just that dh wasn't a religious person. Later, she posted that her dh was raised Catholic but was agnostic, but that wasn't until after you chided her for not allowing her dh to take the kids to church.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
It is interesting that you are hurt and sad...What about him? How is he feeling? Alienated? Isolated? Does he have his own faith/practices? Can you find a way to balance and honor each other's different values? We have different beliefs and basically do religious things on our own. DCs go with me. But you need to try and understand how he feels.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]No kidding. OP automatically assumes her religion trumps.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Because that's the deal they made pre-marriage, and the dh is non-religious. Seems reasonable
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Point being, they made the deal before they actually had any kids. There is room for re-negotiation.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]First, the OP says nothing about any deal being made. Another poster who responded described this as her situation. I don't think that's the OP, since she said her dh doesn't want to attend a seder, and the other responder said her dh did "seders/chanukah/purim" but didn't go to services. However, this certainly is the kind of thing you should talk about before getting married and having kids, since it clearly is going to come up.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree that it should definitely be talked about before marriage because incompatibility in this issue won't work. However, I'm saying that the discussion probably happened before kids or when the kids were too young for religion. Now that the kids are becoming jewish, dh might feel like they're growing away from his background and want more of an equal compromise in religious up-bringing.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, I don't understand how you bring up your kids with both religions, so you do have to decide which faith you are going to believe. You can't believe in Jesus and also not believe in Jesus - then faith becomes meaningless. (Unless you join a Unitarian church, that is). However, that doesn't mean you can't celebrate the cultural aspects of the other religion with the spouse's family, which keeps dc aware of that parent's cultural traditions.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What is religion? It's essentially a method of believing in God, right? Why not teach your dc's about God, tell them that different religions believe different things about God, and then educate them on both of your religions? They can participate in religious and secular practices of both religions and then "choose" when they're a little older.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Do you know of anyone who has done this successfully? My dh was more or less raised this way, and it left him with pretty much no religion and not really understanding how worshipping together in a church or synagogue service can be a meaningful spiritual experience. I seriously think the best approach is then to join a Unitarian Church, because at least there is some spirituality associated with all religions in a common worship service.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I have never heard of the non-Jewish half of a mixed marriage refusing to go to a seder. Most seders I have been too (and they're all traditional seders) have had at least one non-Jewish guest, and they seem to enjoy it. As to being put off because synagogue is not like church -- I can see that, and it's a good reason for him not to go. It's a bad reason to switch to Reform -- kind of creepy, in fact, to select a synagogue on the grounds of it being 'more like church.'
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sounds a bit FAKE that you are discovering NOW that you want to attend services in a conservative congregation.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]how are you bringing up dc's? will they be bar mitzvahed?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:06 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We are in a reversed situation so I can offer some advice. It may be different from a guys pt of view, but still. When I married DH, I wasn't conservative and he was... he is also from a different culture than I (we aren't Christians). I enjoyed participating on a lot of things that he wanted to do. After we got married, the experience was not one of an observer, but of a spouse, someone expected to participate. We've been married 8yrs, and his culture is anathema to me. Its happened gradually, but the subtle push to participate in something I don't believe in, the pressure from MIL to do one thing or the other for DC that I don't like, the constant expectation from DH that 'DC need strong cultural roots, and since you don't care about yours... we should go with this', has actually made me turn to my own roots and try to incorporate that into our lives. Its weird, I know. But let your DH do what he wants. You have to love him for who/what he is... an agnostic christian may not want to be participating in jewish events, religious or not.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:25 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITTTTA
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
a dh: If I could choose my own religion (I was raised Catholic but am an atheist) I would choose Judaism. Not the religion so much as the sense of community.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Would you want the constant persecution also?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: Could you look at Reform synagogues? They can be a lot of fun. There are often a lot of interfaith families, there's more English in the services, etc. Your dh might feel more at ease there. Also, shop around - try out different synagogues. We went to several before finding one that really felt like a good fit for us.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't understand how you can marry someone and not know their feelings about this.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] How do you plan to pass the day tomorrow - until your mail arrives? I'm thinking of ... 22 replies
- ADOPT! animal shelters are literally teeming with dogs these days....
Talk : : February 13, 2009
How do you plan to pass the day tomorrow - until your mail arrives? I'm thinking of taking the kids out to brunch & then to see that movie about the mouse with the big ears.
22 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.13.09, 06:34 AM [ Flag ]I am just going to sit and wait for the mailman. If I see his truck down the street, I'll chase him down.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:35 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op lol
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]another strategy is to accost the doa's as they walk to the mailboxes in front of their schools today. if you wear a mask, they probably wont know who's parent you are
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]postman/woman picks them up at most schools
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]good for you, much less likely to be able to connect the dots at the assault hearing.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
op: now your talking, hey if we coordinate our efforts and split the schools between us we'll cover more ground. I'm in if you are
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i'll find my best ski mask!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]me too! hey we all look good in black! brb
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i'm a lurker waiting for next year, but i'm fairly certain i'm going away next year.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]not a good idea ie if you need to work the wl
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]perfectly fine, just go away for the weekend, return Monday night, open mail and be ready to work the phones Tuesday morning. me too, btw!
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I will make breakfast, walk the mutt, take a long hot shower, walk the mutt again and then check.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]our mail comes between 3 and 4.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op I would like to have a mutt. does dc go with you on the walks?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes, when dc is home. Why not get one?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: I would in a heartbeat but dh is a firm No
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ADOPT! animal shelters are literally teeming with dogs these days.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]We did...NSAL.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
praising jesus that you all will soon quit clogging the NYC board with this crap
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]so there's more room for your crap?
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]anything else. there is a NY Schools Board for a reason
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 06:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I love large families. I come from a community/culture that has a lot of them and it'... 8 replies
- in these times i think we can't afford to pay 1) Wall St bonuses; 2) support the pregnancies of those who can't afford. woman needs to be counseled to put up for adoption or abort. case closed. at 18 I had an abortion, b/c, gee, I couldn't afford to support a baby. progressive, liberal here, btw....
Talk : : February 11, 2009
I love large families. I come from a community/culture that has a lot of them and it's considereda good thing. But i think i am changing my position on gvoernment assistance for large families. i think that once you get past a certain number of biological children, subsidies should not increase. i'm not sure what that number would be if i was making the decision.
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.11.09, 06:35 PM [ Flag ]4
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i was thinking five. i was thinking that once you've outgrown a minivan, you're a big family.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
That's silly. It implies that you can steer those moms by making tpolicy decisions like that. In reality, women on welfare with 4+ kids are frequently not the type of person that makes rational decisions like that or they wouldn't be in that situation in theh first place. So you would just end up with welfare moms with +4 kids (assuming 4 is the number) in even greater poverty.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]not as a method of steering moms. as a method of controlling spending. i'm also not so sure that you can say that about moms of 4+ kids who are on welfare.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR: why should the kids go hungry because their mom is a moron? I think there are other budget items that I would cut before cutting food stamps. (Totally unnecessary wars and such)
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
in these times i think we can't afford to pay 1) Wall St bonuses; 2) support the pregnancies of those who can't afford. woman needs to be counseled to put up for adoption or abort. case closed. at 18 I had an abortion, b/c, gee, I couldn't afford to support a baby. progressive, liberal here, btw.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Are you Orthodox and aggressively reproducing - with or without government assistance - in order to strengthen Judaism's footprint?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wtf
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 03:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Single moms: Were you single when you had dc? If so, how difficult was the experien... 3 replies
- I am single, adopted dc at birth. Now in K. Sure, it's hard doing it alone, but I wouldn't trade it for anything, and I don't know anyone that would. I can't imagine life without my dc. You adjust, you figure it out....
- Thanks for the advice. How hard was the adoption process? Are they harder on single parents?...
Talk : : February 11, 2009
Single moms: Were you single when you had dc? If so, how difficult was the experience for you? Would you do it again? Am getting older and am afraid I might miss my chance to have a dc, but am concerned that it may be too much work to do alone. No family close by to help out either...
3 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.11.09, 05:39 PM [ Flag ]I am single, adopted dc at birth. Now in K. Sure, it's hard doing it alone, but I wouldn't trade it for anything, and I don't know anyone that would. I can't imagine life without my dc. You adjust, you figure it out.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ita from a single mom. dont miss the opportunity. $ solves it all, you are never alone if you have some, in terms of help.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thanks for the advice. How hard was the adoption process? Are they harder on single parents?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Posts on OctoMom are so tired. Like it or not her many kids are here - donate towards... 26 replies
- Those kids should be adopted out into families who can properly take care of them....
- I suppose ther aren't horror stories about maltreated adopted kids....
Talk : : February 11, 2009
Posts on OctoMom are so tired. Like it or not her many kids are here - donate towards her kids or zip it.
26 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.11.09, 05:38 PM [ Flag ]I think it should be examined and maybe this will prompt the ivf medical field to start self-regulating a little stricter. There needs to be some checks and balances.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]On UB? I think lessons have been learned.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sure. it's just another social outlet for expressing thoughts, view, etc. were you around when the election was going on. there were a lot of political hashing, etc. it's good and healthy to do that, including doing that on ub.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Those kids should be adopted out into families who can properly take care of them.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I suppose ther aren't horror stories about maltreated adopted kids.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry, but a person with NO income other than dole money and parents of modest means can't possibly care for 14 children. Fact.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]And that whatisthecouples name that have 13 kids and still going are better parents?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]The Duggars? Yes they are better parents.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]having 13 dcs is child abuse. no matter how much money they have.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]They have 18 kids, actually. A few are over 18. No IVF. Would I do this? No. But I have a hell of a lot more respect for them than I do for Nadya Suleman.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]itda. why should i respect someone for not knowing when to stop i know someone who was one of fourteen and he claims it was tantamount to child abuse. he wrote a book about it actually. i see the duggers and nadya suleman in the same light.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Jim Bob Duggar has fairly significant real estate holdings, actually. They get NO govt money.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]They did at one point. Someone dug it up from one of those cable news shows. Not that I'm holding it against them, but they are not all that pristine themselves.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]they also pay NO taxes.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
LOL. I gave (and will continue to give) when I send my big tax checks. So I'll comment if I like, thanks.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]exactly!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ah so you begrudge her a few food stamps???
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: as well as the disability payments made for her kids suffering from disabilities.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Yes. Yes I do. Nothing short of a total abdication of responsibility to purposely get pregnant seven times over when you have NO means of supporting yourself and your children. Her attitude toward the autistic one is gross (seems thrilled that he needs her SO much). The woman belongs in a mental hospital and her kids should be placed for adoption.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Don't forget about the $50,000 grand of debt she's in and guess who will pay off that debt.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I do. Don't forget her <cough, cough> student loans and disability checks she gets. For one kid with ADHD and another with a speech delay. Give me a damn break.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You do realize that you've just contributed to giving her more attention, right?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]When she gets on TV and allows cameras into the hospital so everyone can gawk at her much too small babies, I'll talk about her all I want. I can't stand these high order multiple parents and their begging.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think it should be noted that weird as we may think it - we was just "using up" the embryos from past IVF attempts. Apparently she had used 6 embryos on each of her past attempts and all but one had resulted in a single live birth (one set of twins) so it was not off the mark for her to expect one child out of this.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Only a quack of an MD would go along with that request. In any case, given that she's poor with no income, one would *think* six kids would be more than enough.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Her doctor was a quack. She should have had no more than 2 embryos implanted during each IVF for her age range. At the most 3 if she wanted to be pushy. An irresponsible quack doctor treating a crazy ass bitch for infertility. Recipe for disaster. But fertility treatments are so unregulated in this country, it's pretty much a free-for-all.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Moms who adopted -- where/how did you get started on the process? It all seems so ove...
Talk : : February 11, 2009
[+] I grew up in the midwest, went to Ivy, lived in NYC 16 years, and moved back to the m... 90 replies
- np: I think many of them moved here during adulthood and feel that they have to adopt these extreme attitude to fit in....
Talk : : February 11, 2009
I grew up in the midwest, went to Ivy, lived in NYC 16 years, and moved back to the midwest last year. Guess what? It's not white bread and mayonaise anymore. There are great artisanal bakeries, local cheese makers, organic farmers markets, ethnic restaurants and food shops, and 2 arts theaters that show everything the Angelika shows, only with big velvet lounging chairs, sofas, and beer service. TT private school is $15K and the country club is $200/month. Our 3-story perfectly restored 1920 Tudor with 3-car carriage house was $680K. I'm not writing to gloat, I just want to say that leaving the city does not mean a lifetime of tuna casserole.
90 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.11.09, 11:27 AM [ Flag ]yeah. sthe artisanal bakery isnt luring me to the midwest
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i'm sorry, but who even uses the phrase "artisanal bakery" but a total rube? it's a bakery. it may be a patisserie. it is not an "artisanal bakery." lmao.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]an artisanal bakery is a bakery that makes bread using artisanal methods, usually involving no additional yeasts, a la Poilane.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]it's a made-up term meant to attract yuppies. la poilane is a boulangerie.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^that is to say, A BAKERY.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]The wonderbread factory is a bakery. Many supermarkets have a "bakery" that produces mushy bread and crappy sugar cookies on site. Neither is artisanal. What's the objection to allowing someone to make that distinction?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I'm thinking this response objecting to the term "artisanal bakery" is probably a troll. Can anyone be so snobby as to refuse to allow someone to use a non-French word to describe a bakery (which is probably not even a French-style bakery)? And to deride someone for using a perfectly acceptable adjective ("artisanal") to differentiate traditional hand-crafting methods from production-line style methods? I think this is satire. I hope.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
where do you live? we're starting to think about other parts of the country b/c of the economic meltdown... on our list: austin, tampa, winter park (fl -- near orlando)
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:31 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: I grew up in St. Petersburg which is just over the bridge from Tampa. St. Pete is actually nicer than Tampa. Went to TT private there and on to Ivy universities. Live in NY, but would happily send dc's to my old school. It's definitely not NY, yet there is a growing artist community, young sophisticates and a pretty hip scene there. I find it more cosmopolitan than more affordable parts of NY which are further from the city. Good luck with your decision.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]We're considering St. Pete. DO you mind telling me which private you went to and which neighborhoods you recommend? TIA!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think I will out myself if I tell since my graduating class was tiny, however I will tell you the two top schools in St. Pete (one of which was mine). Canterbury and Shorecrest. In Tampa you would want to consider Tampa Prep or Berkeley. I highly recommend the Old Northeast and Crescent Lake areas. The thing is that the North side is much less diverse than the south side. There are very nice neighborhoods on the South side Pinellas Point and Bahama Shores and Maximo. I grew up in Pinellas Point. The public school scene is getting better and there are a lot of excellent magnet programs including the CAT program at Lakewood (on the south side) and the IB program at St. Pete High on the north side. Both of those programs ranked within the top 20 of the US News and World Report high school rankings. In other words, they were ranked higher than Rye, Scarsdale and Chappaqua schools. Of course, the competition to get in is fierce. I would go private myself. Anyway, good luck with your search, and page me "St. Pete mom" if you have any other questions.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks so much. We have a relative on Pinellas Point and like it there. Thanks!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No problem!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
$15K for private? I am moving there! Seriously though, I can see the pros & cons of NYC and the Midwest. Whatever works for you ...
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]but it's still the midwest...
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't want to get argumentative, but what the midwest has meant for us is a huge yard and garden, trees, lots of kids playing in the neighborhood, fewer work hours and less stress for both of us, more family time, and an overall increase in our quality of life. We actually have time now to go to the symphony and theater, we go on trips more often, have more money, and have advanced our careers. But we both had worked to the point where we had the option to telecommute, and I know that's not available to everyone.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:44 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]so where's this fantasy-land city of yours? Chicago? Akron?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]WHERE DO YOU LIVE
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am going to guess Cleveland.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]maybe pittsburgh?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOVE Pittsburgh! Grew up there and might be moving back! Look what just $350K gets you ... in the COOL part of town! http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/Highland-Prk_PA_15206_1105272955
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i grew up there, and you couldn't drag me back with a zamboni.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 04:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why not? Did you live in some crappy area like Munhall or Monroeville?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
totally cleveland
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Don't know about OP but we're moving to St. Louis in 2 months and from everything we've seen it's the same. I can't wait. We're going from a 2BR/2BA in UWS to a 5BR/4.5BA built in 1929 with 1/2 acre yard and huge trees. Our mortgage payments will be 1/2 and no maintenance!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np LMAO at "no maintenance" re: a 1929 home.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, we hope, anyway. We had it inspected and the guy (who does 5 houses a day) said it was in amazing condition. All new HVAC, roof and windows, floors refinished, new kitchen and baths (all to period), walls newly plastered. Tight as a drum. So of course we'll have to have the yard and garden done but the house is very sound.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I went to school in St. Louis and it is sooo boring out there and the heat is unbearable in the summer. Enjoy.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]The weather is basically exactly the same as NY. As for the boring part, I think it's one of those places that's more fun to live in than visit. Meaning it's not so touristy. But for a family living here, the museums are great (the city museum beats any kid or family museum in NY out of the water), the zoo is wonderful. We work, go to school, see our friends, and play. Obviously not what a college student is looking for.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Umm, touche. The weather bites serious ass. And forget ever having a good hair day again. Like, ever. Enjoy your Ted Drewes, man.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry, I'm totally lost. Do you know what touchรฉ even means? Cause it makes no sense here. And what's Ted Drews?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think she means the frozen custard. Some kind of slam, huh?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No, the frozen custard is the only good thing there!!!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Where's your house? Lived in St Louis for a long while and went to school there. If you're living near Wash U, great community. Arts pretty good in St Louis, too.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Oh Sorry, I hesitate to out myself. Somewhere b/t Cleveland and Lincoln, NE. Let's just say that. 2 million people, big enough that we get the good indie musical groups, big bands (Sting, Flaming Lips), touring broadway shows, Kirov Ballet, etc. but small enough that really good tickets are 1/2 of Madison Square Garden or Lincoln Center.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: Omaha
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]How could you possibly out yourself?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]you really think by saying where you live (in a town with 2 mill people) you'll out yourself. get over it
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
My mother lives in Milwaukee and it would fit the OP's description.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
where
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Are you in Madison, WI?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm guessing no since Madison has terrible "ethnic" restaurants
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I live in Manhattan and I love white bread and mayonnaise.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np, me too if you add bacon, lettuce and tomato to it. lightly toasted, please.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
hey, OP. if it's so wonderful, why won't you say where you are?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh geez, sorry. Had no idea people would get so excercised about the exact location. Fine, it's Kansas City. We've been here 10 months and I can honestly say that I haven't regretted it for a minute. And I was really afraid that I would! I don't know if it's due to the economy or what, but we keep meeting lots of mid-30s professional couples like us who've moved here from Portland, San Francisco, Boston, NY for the same reasons as us. And they're finding what they're looking for here too. It's just a better balance for our family, not saying it is for everyone else.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]But there's tornadoes!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]True, although not in the city, more out in the flat western part of KS. But there are risks in NY too.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
and REPUBLICANS. And the state school board keeps wanting to throw out evolution!
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 02:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]my brother moved there and they love it; they are very mid-western though and I was not surprised they like it. But, i always hear good things about KC.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Thank you for the perspective. It is so good to hear.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I love how everybody in NYC thinks they're automatically more sophisticated and cultured than everyone else because it's NYC. Hey, maybe you're moving so fast to get to MOMAMuseumofNaturalHistoryStatueofLibertyArtGalleries that you don't have a second to breathe and enjoy LIFE?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:54 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm white bread & mayo Manhattan mom, and for several yrs, I have not had time to take advantage of the cultural things here. Finally, oldest dd is getting to the age where we can take her to performances, and I have to say, this is why we live the crazy lives we do here. No place is perfect, and we certainly sacrifice things to continue living here. For us, it's worth it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm St. Louis OR. We do wonder if when the kids are in jr. high and H.S. they'll want more excitement than there is here, but then I see teenagers hanging out at the used bookstores and record stores and cafes and at the art movie theaters, and they look just like regular artsy teens, having fun. And meanwhile, we took our boy to Cirque du Soleil and the good seats were only $60 (would have been $160 in NY) and he goes to the symphony and to modern dance companies that come through town with us too.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's cool. I think most parents of young kids in NYC ask themselves whether it's worth it to keep living here. It really depends on so many factors that it's impossible to generalize. Whatever works for you.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: I'm a New Yorker of Steinberg's POV. I think the difference is that in NY, if you are lucky and make the effort, much of your life is surrounded by people who support several symphonies being here all year long. Who support two major opera companies. Who support theater and jazz and dance and... Even if you don't do all of those things regularly, being around a populations which does is vibrant. (I fully recognize the seedy under belly of my beloved city too.)
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
are you reading a different thread? and what's so sophisticated and cultured about the Statue of Liberty and the natural history museum?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOL!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You know, before kids, there's nowhere else I'd rather have lived. I LOVED New York and was never going to leave. But somehow, after kids, we so rarely went to openings or the opera or even dinner parties. And we were always tired and stressed. We now do so many more cultural things than we did in the last 4 years living in NY with kids.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR: Agree, NYC is an awesome place for people with a lot of free time. I lived there from 18-28, spanning my college, early 20s, and newly-married phases. After having kids we moved to the suburbs because I feel that the bad stuff in the city often overwhelms the good stuff. I'm extremely happy now.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Tritto. Loved in when single and newlywed, and even then there were times that we were so busy we didn't get to take full advantage of the offerings, but definitely did not want to deal with the craziness of schools and all of that with dc's. Happy in burbs and happy that we can get to the CIty when we want to. To each her own.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:The_New_Yorker,_1976-03-29,_Cover_(View_of_the_World_from_9th_Avenue,_priced_and_dated).PNG
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I am wondering how many of the closed-minded NYC lovers are actually born and bred here. Real question.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What makes a NY'er close minded? Someone who is happy with their decision to live in NYC and can't imagine living somewhere else? Why is that close minded? There are denizens of people who could never imagine living here. Does that make them close minded too?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I meant the individuals who only love NYC. I don't think all NY'ers are closed minded.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: Nothing wrong with loving NYC and always wanting to love here. It's the people who think nowhere else in the world is as good and you're denying yourself and your children independence and values and culture by living in the suburbs that are super-annoying.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NEWSFLASH. There ARE urban settings outside NYC. The entire continent outside of the five boroughs of NYC are not all "suburbs".
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's not a newsflash to me (the poster you responded to). I was responding specifically to posts on city vs. suburbs on this board.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]besides Chicago... they sort of are...
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You've apparently never been to Pittsburgh. Cleveland. St. Louis. Minneapolis. Miami. Dallas. Houston. Atlanta. San Francisco. Seattle.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Atlanta, Dallas, Houston,Pittsburgh are all suburbs.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No dear, they're CITIES. Do you know how to say "city"? They all have their OWN suburbs, too!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
NP: To me, it's the difference between saying you can't imagine yourself living anywhere else and feeling the need to make snarky comments whenever another person says THEY are happy living somewhere other than NYC. For example, the "it's still the midwest" OR above would fit my definition of a "closed-minded NYC lover".
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ITTTA. When people are so knee-jerk negative about others' experiences leaving the city, it says more about their own feelings of defensiveness.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np: I think many of them moved here during adulthood and feel that they have to adopt these extreme attitude to fit in.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
But what do you do when you want rats and filth and street crime?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]don't start with the crime stats. it's far worse in most metropolitan areas. Kansas City and Saint Louis are among the worst
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's true. I'm OP (in Kansas City). Apparently there is a very high crime rate. Unfortunatley, there are a lot of poor areas and a lot of black-on-black homicides. I can imagine it will get only worse if the economy continues its decline. There are several neighborhoods of gorgeous old houses (imagine the Frick or the Cooper Hewitt) cheek-by-jowl with some of the more troubled neighborhoods. But interestingly, professional families (black and white) have chosen to restore and live in these neighborhoods and are trying to expand these "safe circles" into surrounding areas. It feels like a positive movement, overall. Like many cities, Kansas City is making an effort on many levels (govt and nonprofiit) to reclaim its urban core) and so far it's working well.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I knew it was KC! My hometown. I've been in NY for 10 years, and it didn't really hit me how much things had changed there until I went home for a visit, and while eating at the farmer's market downtown one saturday, watched a muslim woman in full regalia buy produce from an amish woman in full regalia, while their respective kids talked interestedly to each other. it was kind of amazing. now that we're expecting our first i'm thinking of coming back.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ha, where did you grow up? We're in Brookside (I'll bet you guessed that). Our DC is in PH, and it's 20% kids from Pakistan, Iran, China, etc. We love the huge Asian food shops and amazing Mexican food.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My mom is still in Brookside, I grew up just a bit south of there. And seriously, I'm pining for Southwest Blvd mexican food just writing this. Oh, the tacos of El Taquito...of course, I'm 9 months pregnant, so I crave everything. Crime is bad though, there's no denying, and I struggle with how segregated the city still is in a lot of ways.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Okay, this is the kind of closed-mindedness I'm talking about: In that other suburb thread someone wrote: Let's see pidgeons/rats in exchange for culture, diversity, best of everything from movies to art to theater to people from aroun the entire planet -vs- big shopping aisles and neighbors who I would never be friends with in the first place. Don't get it. [ Reply | Options ] 02.11.09, 06:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ] * np - And that's because you're a city person and the OR is a suburb person [ Reply | Options ] 02.11.09, 06:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ] * Many of the suburbs around here are a relatively quick train ride from NYC so it's not like we're living in Kansas. [ Reply | Options ] 02.11.09, 06:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ] o Ha. I AM living in Kansas and it looks nothing like OR's picture. My neighbors are a professor, two architects, musicians, a public radio producer, a cardiologist, and two art directors. Oh and three families are Asian, two Jewish, one French, and another French-Algerian. [ Reply | Options ] 02.11.09, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ] * Ugh, that kind of response makes me insane. Shows what you know about the suburbs. We live in a mid-sized American city, in a beautiful neighborhood of 80-year-old stone houses and huge old trees. We have 3 excellent museums, symphony orchestra, opera company, and vital theater groups. The best of everything comes through in the form of the Berlin Philharmonic, Kronos Quartet, Steppenwolf Theater, etc. Our neighborhood and our child's school has families of Asian, middle Eastern, African and European origins. Oh and we live within walking distance of two different shopping areas of mom-and-pop shops, boutiques, and local restaurants. I just find it so annoying that you assume that anything outside NYC is Walmart and Applebees (neither of wh... [ Reply | Options ]
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 04:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ugh, that kind of response makes me insane. Shows what she knows about the suburbs. We live in a mid-sized American city, in a beautiful neighborhood of 80-year-old stone houses and huge old trees. We have 3 excellent museums, symphony orchestra, opera company, and vital theater groups. The best of everything comes through in the form of the Berlin Philharmonic, Kronos Quartet, Steppenwolf Theater, etc. Our neighborhood and our child's school has families of Asian, middle Eastern, African and European origins. Oh and we live within walking distance of two different shopping areas of mom-and-pop shops, boutiques, and local restaurants. I just find it so annoying that you assume that anything outside NYC is Walmart and Applebees (neither of which are anywhere around here).
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 04:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yeah, but it is so hard to get jobs in those cities. I'm from Pittsburgh and looked for jobs there for YEARS and never could find anything. If you aren't a doctor/lawyer/engineer/professor forget it. That's why those cities are so cheap. My husband and I would move back in a minute if he could do the job he does here, there!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Definitely true for Pittsburgh but if you look up the stats, there are actually more jobs in places like Kansas City (OP's new home) than in NY. And these are high-paying professional jobs in law, medicine, architecture, advertising, science, and yes even finance.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
country club. three-car garage. nuf said.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sounds good to me. 3-car carriage house sounds charming, and how nice would it be to have all our bikes and strollers in there instead of lugging them down to our basement's bike room.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no one needs a three-car garage for a f&cking stroller. it's gross. and no one is going to get me to pine for the burb by telling me how cheap their country club dues are. revolutionary road, anyone?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 04:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: I grew up in Michigan where, as opposed to what I see in NY and NJ, people actually use their garages to park their cars in. You really need to, otherwise you spend a 1/2 hour every morning for the entire winter scrapping snow and ice off your car. So if you are a typical family with two cars, you're using 2 of those 3 spaces for your cars, and the third for storing bikes, strollers, lawnmowers, etc. Plus a ton of people have boats, ATVs, golf carts, etc. that they keep in their garages. Maybe that's not YOUR lifestyle, but that doesn't make it "gross".
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 06:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Sounds lovely, but you have no ocean and no skiiing. Why leave NY for neither?
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 04:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] who lives in lower manhattan? how are you feeling about all this lottery stuff to get... 20 replies
- Well, I don't have time to walk across town every day to drop off dc. But I am going to try and adopt some of your zen attitude....
Talk : : February 11, 2009
who lives in lower manhattan? how are you feeling about all this lottery stuff to get into 89 or 234, if you miss the lottery you are put in tweed courthouse for at least a year.
20 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.11.09, 09:01 AM [ Flag ]It's not just that you are in tweed for at least a year... you get to spend the next 5 years after that commuting to either Beekman place or Battery place -- even if you live right near 234, which I do.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]do you like the new schools from what you are hearing? they do some like they will be better than 234....so may be worth the commute?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Lower Manhattan here. Whatever happens, happens. Let the school system worry about it -- that's what they're paid to do. I really don't have the time to obsess.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, I don't have time to walk across town every day to drop off dc. But I am going to try and adopt some of your zen attitude.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]This is why God invented school buses.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You are very cold towards your kid
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP....kids love the school bus
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np. What is it with these mothers who insist on complicating everything and turning EVERYTHING high-maintenance? Transportation is provided for all students. Avail yourself of it, or kwityerbitchin.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you are really ok with you dc going to a brand new school with no idea how it will be?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Millions do it every day.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
what? where is tweed courthouse? what happened to the allure of being able to walk your kid everywhere in the city? that doesn't seem worth it to me!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]do you live in lower manhattan, tribeca, south street seaport, financial or BPC?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Ladies, you should get your facts straight before you go freaking everyone out! They are NOT doing a lottery. You put your request down when you register and then the DOE will determine how to decide who goes where if there is overflow. The principal of 234 VERY CLEARLY said at our tour that they will not do a lottery but will likely look at a map and determine which people are the most likely to get rezoned in the future (ie- you live by the site of the Seaport school or the new one in Battery Park) and send them to Tweed. If you live right next to 234 or 89 it so HIGHLY unlikely that you will be picked for Tweed. Lisa was very clear about it (although she did say that she wasn't in charge of it).
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 03:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry but you are wrong. I spoke today with the principle of PS 89 as well as Joel Kliens office, it will 100% be a lottery as they do not have zones so they cannot leave anyone out of the selection in the current zones no matter how close or how far. The new principles did say that they don't like the term lottey, but basically that is what it is. So....sorry to say, YOU are wrong, it will be based on a lottery. many families, even if 10 blocks away are in the 89 and 234 zones just to go to those schools, so it would not be fair to those families if they were sent to tweed just because someone is 2 blocks away. Maybe you should call to get the facts instead of giving false info.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 03:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Your information is correct. But if someone lives 10 blocks away from 234, and the DOE is opening a new school in their neighborhood, why is it unfair for them to go to the new school? I think it's unfair for the person 2 blocks from 234 to have to go to that new school 10 blocks away.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 03:33 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]because all families are there for the current school. put yourself in the position of the family who moved there for a school and now may be force to go to tweed. How would you feel? there is no fair way for everyone
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 09:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't have to imagine it, we are a family who moved there for the school. What you're saying only makes sense if you assume that the other schools will be bad. Sending children to schools in their neighborhood makes sense. Busing children in two directions across town, when there are good schools on both sides of town, does not.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 11:12 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i want my child in an established school, do not want my child to be the first 5th grade graduating class. i moved in the area for a particular school and even though i am a 10 minute walk my child still deserves the same education as a child who lives next door to the school. fact is both families moved for the same school prior to any conversations for a new school, so both families should be treated the same.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 08:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: you do realize though, that this is PUBLIC school and happens all the time, even in the suburbs. elem school gets crowded, they open a new one and the kids living closest to it get zoned for that school. the problem is the assumption in nyc is that a new shcool cannot possibly be as good and that's simply not the case. think about the fact that anderson and 290 are both relatively new schools compared to say ps 6.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:02 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I went to tweed last night and I was actually really impressed. The principals are great, and I didn't know that both new schools are K-8, which is huge.
[ Reply | Options ]02.13.09, 09:29 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I am nervous about telling my father that I am adopting. He would have nothing agains... 14 replies
- confront that in yourself and make peace with it. As a single parent with an adopted child, you will shortly be a pro in dealing with other people's opinions of...to start figuring out how to deal with all that now. Good luck with the adoption -- I think it's so exciting...
- I adopted my child as a single parent and it was the best thing I have ever...
Talk : : February 11, 2009
I am nervous about telling my father that I am adopting. He would have nothing against it and I am an adult with a great job and plenty of $$ but he's a nervous, negative naysayer in general and I am single. Any ideas of how I can break the news without getting into defensive mode...not looking for permission or blessing but need to know the best way to announce. My mom is totally on board. Would it be the lamest thing to email him?
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.11.09, 07:56 AM [ Flag ]wouldn't your mom give you the best advice on this? congrats btw! being a mom is great (well most of the time that is)
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:01 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]My dad has a similar personality. I would be generous, clear and firm. Try something like "Dad, you are a wonderful father because you are x, y and x, and I need you to be supportive of me in my decision to adopt. You will be an amazing grandfather and you can (name some cool things you used to do together) with your grandchild." We are experiencing secondary infertility and will be telling my dad a similar story. I wish you the best of luck with everything!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thank you. Best of luck to you!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]there are new theories emerging on the origin of MP disorders.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I said he was difficult. He does not have multiple personality disorder!!!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The question is: why are you still so anxious about these negative comments? You must have learned a way to deal with this by now. If not, this is a great opportunity to do so.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What agency will give children to a single parent?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Are you sure this is a good idea. I think a relationship with a partner is good practice for the patience and compromise required to raise a child. That said, a child deserves a loving parent, who may very well be single.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:28 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i didn't even know this was an issue. what agency wouldn't?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]All of them! For years now.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Yes, it would be lame to email him. Whatever issues you have about his opinion, it's time for you to confront that in yourself and make peace with it. As a single parent with an adopted child, you will shortly be a pro in dealing with other people's opinions of your situation. Best to start figuring out how to deal with all that now. Good luck with the adoption -- I think it's so exciting
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thank you!
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I adopted my child as a single parent and it was the best thing I have ever done. I didn't even tell my father (my mother was deceased). He has always had enormous influence on me and that's the main reason I didn't tell him; I didn't want anything opinionated or negative from him. It wasn't until years later (she's 6 now) that I asked him what he thought, and he said, "you had guts!" I was very pleased with that answer. Be ready to tell your father, be ready for his responses, and say, I know you may not be on board with this dad (smile) but I am going ahead with this and I wanted you to know. I hope you'll come around to it. (smile smile!)
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 12:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thank you and congrats to you! Unfortunately and fortunately my parents live 5 blocks away so I have no choice and I have no intentions of backing out...just want to avoid any drama.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Can anyone give me advice? I am a mother of 2 (6 and 4yo) in a very happy financially... 40 replies
- Arg! This is too close to home. I am myself adopted, am 40, have two beautiful children we adore, and have fertility issues like crazy. We're trying for #3 with IVF....asked that the comments about contraception be left out of it. I think we can honor that. And i am the "arg" adopted poster from above. And pro-choice. I was just lamenting, and probably shouldn't have. I do however, worry about how she...
Talk : : February 10, 2009
Can anyone give me advice? I am a mother of 2 (6 and 4yo) in a very happy financially secure relationship. We are very happy with our place in time - kids are going to school, we are travelling again etc. Just 3 days ago we found out that I am pregnant again. We agreed immediately that I should terminate as we have just got our lives "back" and two beautiful children was all that we ever wanted. Now having had three days to think things through I don't know if I want this baby or not. I keep swinging from keeping it to terminating it. I have no idea of what the right decision is. My husband says he will be happy with whatever decision I make but I know that he would ideally like me to terminate. He thinks I am at risk being 40yo. and that my moods over the next two years would be detrimental to our marriage and to our other two children. I had a termination booked for today but rescheduled it for 3 days time to allow myself more time to reconsider. Any advice?
40 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.10.09, 05:49 PM [ Flag ]i call fake.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I second. Sounds like a triple bait!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
well, think about it this way, what is best for your two kids? would having another child deprive them of focus and attention they might need? i admit i'm speaking for myself here - if i had another child it would cheat my first two; dh is a workaholic and almost all the childrearing is up to me; they both need more attention than i can squeeze out.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]my dh is a workaholic too so i know I will be raising this child as almost a "single mother". My thoughts also go to my other two as it obviously means that they will get less attention that they would like/need? i just can't help feeling that I will terminate for selfish reasons which I know is just that selfish.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]poster above: i come from a family of 5 kids. it is the opinion of the older kids that my parents should probably have terminated. their marriage ended in divorce from the stress and pressure, and none of us kids got any cultivating attention. it is not selfish to terminate if you don't think you can handle it all.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm not saying you are wrong, but I come from a big family too and I loved it. There is something that comes from siblings that you don't get from parents and even though I am not that close with the younger ones they bring something interesting to my life.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, yeah, i love my siblings too, and would probably have loved the one my mother actually did terminate. but the fact is, there were too many kids and if given the option we would probably choose a life where our parents could give us the attention we needed and they could give the attention they needed to give each other and their marriage.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Funny, I'm 40 and am going to ttc #3 in a few months. Get fixed if you don't want any more kids, for God's sake!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I was you 12 years ago with everything you describe but I wasn't pg I was beginning to think of ttc. Well I did at 41 and became pg immediately and lost the pg at 7 weeks. It was devastating. I was bitten though and I tried (moved heaven & earth too) and finally had #3 at 45. This is not a life lesson lol but it's my story. Just make sure you really don't want #3.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thankyou. It's eating me up but I hope the decision I ultimately make will be the right one. I appreciate your input.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]gl!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]just a query if you don't mind sharing. What is the age gap between #2 and #3? If I go ahead with my pregnancy it will be 5 years difference.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: all the better! would would be amazed at how helpful siblings 4+ can be. It will be nothing like having a 2 yo and a newborn.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]did the older two experience or show any resentment towards you or the baby? and did it put a strain on your partner and yourself? or was it just harder for that two year period?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Keep it- it is only two more years of this and then you will be "back". You will be so happy with three in the long run.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That was me a few years ago. I couldn't go through with the termination, but then I miscarried, and my overwhelming feeling was one of relief, not sorrow. Don't get me wrong -- I was sad. I cried. But I think some of my tears were guilt over just how relieved I felt. A few years later, and mostly I feel grateful. I have moments of wondering, but they are few and far between. Good luck making your decision. I know how hard it is.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I thought it would be easy but how wrong was I - thankyou for sharing your experience.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You do realize that the life inside of you is a living being. I can't believe people would terminate a living being. If you really don't want it, you should continue to carry it and then give it up for adoption. It's wrong to just take a life that you have been blessed with and it makes you a killer. Sorry but that's my honest opinion. If you were done you should have been more careful but killing it wrong and a bad example for your children.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have to agree with this. If you didn't want to get pregnant then proper precautions should have been taken. I realize mistakes happen but then you deal with them responsibly.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Totally agree.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I just had my 3rd dc and I'm 40 yr old. We were sure we were done having kids BUT when I got pg, I wouldn't even consider a termination. We just were in shock (the kids were 7yr and 3yr at the time) but the more we thought about it the more we were excited. Now I have my little boy (I have 2 girls) and I tell my dh all the time that I can't believe a yr ago he wasn't here. GL with whatever you choose
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^BTW if I were in my 20's, not married and no other dc, I would have probably terminated but termination is a not going to happen once I've had kids. The thought of not having one of them really bothers me
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thankyou.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
to kill or not to kill . . .that is the question. how frivolous of you.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know. Why not a tubal or vasectomy after the second kid if they were SURE they didn't want others?! Boggles the mind.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Your reasons for terminating just don't seem that compelling... I mean not traveling for a year or 2? Really? I think you will regret this.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Arg! This is too close to home. I am myself adopted, am 40, have two beautiful children we adore, and have fertility issues like crazy. We're trying for #3 with IVF. Already failed two rounds and start our last round next week - shots, etc. I would trade places with you in a hot minute, but of course, cannot. The world and fate are a funny thing. Be cautious my friend. This could haunt you for years to come. And if you were so sure, why did you not take more extreme measures? Sigh.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]We were taking measures - just not extreme - contraception aside, the fact remains that I am pregnant and unsure. I hope that you have good luck conceiving your third. You're right things do work in strange ways. many of my friends have had trouble conceiving that is why I don't want to mention this to them - they would feel let down - things are unjust sometimes. goodluck and thanks.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np Any reasonable 40 yo who doesn't want more kids is sterilized (or has her partner get sterilized). No brainer.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know someone in your situation who chose to terminate...her whole world turned upside down after that. I think the decision will eat away at you for the rest of your life. A child will add joy, your decision to terminate could have so many negative effects on you that may in turn disrupt your marriage and your relationship with your other children. If they find out one day it will very likely damage your relationship with your children. I would never be able to look at my mother the same way if I found out she did what you are thinking about BECAUSE you have the resources and ability to care for a child.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I was not so sure about having a third child but DH pushed for it hard, to the point where his resentment about not having three was really damaging our marriage. I worried about resenting him for having a third, but took chances, got pregnant, no. 3 is now 9 month and while it is sometimes quite busy with 3, the older kids LOVE him, entertain him, he is very relaxed, a good sleeper, never cries and he is, of course, the apple of my eye and combines the best features of my older children in one person. Agree with above poster that it is very very different from having a 2-yr old and a baby. With No. 3, you will really enjoy the baby.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks ... at least i will know what to do with my days when #2 starts school next year! Did your older two feel any resentment at all towards #3?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OR: No... one of the great things about No. 3 is that No. 1 and No. 2 have each other and don't feel threatened by the new addition. When No. 2 was a baby, I could never nurse her and rock her to sleep without No. 1 around who always felt lonely and excluded when I was with No. 2. As a result, No.2 got no attention at all! Now, No.1 and No.2 just keep playing while I change / nurse / rock No. 3.
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 01:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Please don't offer me contraceptive advice or comments. That is not the question here. I know that my method of contraception wasn't enough, the fact remains however that I am pregnant(5 weeks)and unsure of what to do next. I don't want negative comments of that type - it doesn't help. Thankyou everyone else who has offered me real advice of their life experiences. I really appreciate it all - and yes, it does help - a lot. ... thanks
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]This is why I struggle with being pro-choice. How can people like this woman even have a choice about whether or not to kill her child??
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well, it doesn't sound like you are pro-choice for starters. Because no one who is pro-choice would refer to it as "kill her child". She very nicely asked that the comments about contraception be left out of it. I think we can honor that. And i am the "arg" adopted poster from above. And pro-choice. I was just lamenting, and probably shouldn't have. I do however, worry about how she might feel following a decision to terminate, given how ambivalent she is. This is very tough.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think you should have the baby. I guess I am a bit like the animals in Animal Farm. Some animals are more equal than others -- that is, I am pro-choice for only some people. I mean, of course you have a choice, but I feel that since you are happily married and financially stable the scales are weighted in one direction for what your choice "should" be. I realize I'm being a hypocrite, but I think you guys should keep the baby and that you will be happy you did. I agree with above posters who say it will haunt you if you don't keep it. I've never been in your situation though, so really I have no right to tell you what to do. I honestly wish you luck with your decision and only you and DH know what's really best for your family.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You sound pretty selfish. You should terminate if you are considering it.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thankyou to everyone who offered me advice. It was an enormous help just being able to air how I was feeling. In the end it will be a decision that my husband and I will make together and it will be the right one for our family.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am #3, other sibs are 9 and 10 years older. One of my parents didnt want a 3rd and the other fought to keep it. Growing up they told me (almost daily) how happy they were to have had me. My sibs were like mini parents - made my mom's life much easier. I can safely say my parents havent had one ounce of regret! GL with your decision!
[ Reply | Options ]02.12.09, 12:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Anyone btdt with private K admissions for adopted dcs? Very anxious as Feb 13th appr... 14 replies
- it make a difference if the dc is adopted or biological?...
- is that you are considered diversity with an adopted dc. GL...
- I was taken aback that some would view adopted status so negatively...
- sibling (we have one biologic dc and one adopted). I found this upsetting and unfair...
- did you adopted dc have developmental delays that you conveyed to...
Talk : : February 10, 2009
Anyone btdt with private K admissions for adopted dcs? Very anxious as Feb 13th approaches...
14 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.10.09, 03:25 PM [ Flag ]why the heck would it make a difference if the dc is adopted or biological?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Some interviewers implied to us that dc might not perform well academically (very depressing)
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]then to them I say "EFF OFF" and you don't want to be at their school
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How bad were erbs?!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: ERBs not bad at all (low 90s) --but these interviews were prior to scores.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That depends on the school, don't you think?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: I hope so.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
why? as a mom of adopted DS who is applying to K next year I'd love to know more!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Got some comments that seemed to imply that child couldn't be expected to perform academically as well as biologic sibling (we have one biologic dc and one adopted). I found this upsetting and unfair... fwiw they seem equally bright to us...
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
did you adopted dc have developmental delays that you conveyed to the school? was dc in early intervention and did you convey that to school?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 06:59 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
one good thing is that you are considered diversity with an adopted dc. GL
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: thank you! Dc is a great kid and I was taken aback that some would view adopted status so negatively...
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np I'm certain some people are told their bio kids might not perform well academically; I don't understand what this has to do with adoption. Fwiw, there are several adopted dcs in my dcs tt school.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That is good to know...
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Please help me through the fact that I will only have one child. I am watching all my... 8 replies
- np: i'm guessing OP's husband is not OK with adopting, since she says its not her decision....
Talk : : February 10, 2009
Please help me through the fact that I will only have one child. I am watching all my friends pop out their 3rd. Will my child feel different? I feel blessed to even have one child. I wish I didn't always feel sad about it.
8 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.10.09, 02:22 PM [ Flag ]your child wil feel different from her friends for a zillion reasons aside from being an only. there are happy onlies, there are sad people with siblings.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thank you.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
If you really want a second child, you know there are options for obtaining that like adoption. No need to be sad. Accept your decisions and be thankful for the one.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: If it were my decision, I'd have more. I can't.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You can be a mother to another child, just not biological. You have chosen not to go that route -- which is a decision.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: i'm guessing OP's husband is not OK with adopting, since she says its not her decision.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Once I asked my close friend who is the mother of an only whether her dd ever wished for a sibling. Friend said, "Yeah, and she wishes for a laptop too."
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Some of the most secure, happy people I know are only children. Emphasize the joy of close friends as your child grows and s/he will be fine!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Are there any elementary schools in NYC (public schools or private) that are known fo... 58 replies
- adopted Chinese are OK. immigrants or first generation, not so much....
Talk : : February 10, 2009
Are there any elementary schools in NYC (public schools or private) that are known for super duper arts/music programs?
58 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.10.09, 12:33 PM [ Flag ]Midtown West. Application/lottery. You're too late for Fall 09.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no she isn't. deadline extended to march 1.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Do you need to live in D2?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]D2 gets preference. theoretically they could admit outside district, but its pretty unlikely (unless child is a sibling).
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
special music school
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]bunch of freaks...
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
PS 11's program and MTW's art and music programs impressed us on tour (we didn't end up at either)
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP-What district is MTW? - What is it about these programs that is great would you say?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP: Midtown West is a D2 school
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]MTW (PS 212) is an unzoned lottery school. It's in district 2.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]D2, unzoned.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]MTW's art is fully integrated intoteh rest of the curriculum and the artteacher is great. PS11 has a very nice music program. both schools also put on musicals as part of the curriculum.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Hunter has wonderful arts, but I don't know if it's quite "super duper".
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ps130 on baxter st (chinatown).
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]there are good school's in chinatown?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: yes, there are. there are 2 G&Ts --130 and 124. if you look at test scores, the schools do very well, especially when you consider many kids are ELL and/or do not have parents who speak english.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]And other schools in Chinatown are great too, besides just the G&T ones. But UB white families don't like sending their kids there because it's too Asian.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]too asian, it is ALL asian. my dd was there and we moved her because all classmates spoke in maderian and she felt totally left out.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I would have done the same.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]tritto. i have a feeling some of these posters rolling their eyes at racist whitey have no clue what the culture is like at those schools.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
dd at 130? i was curious. i think its cool that they learn mandarin. gen ed looked mostly asian but G&T classes seemed more like 75% Asian/25% White
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think it's ironic that upper middle class white parents want their kids to learn Mandarin from preschool on as long as the other kids are white and not actual Chinese kids. Not saying that the above poster is one of those must-take-Mandarin types though.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]adopted Chinese are OK. immigrants or first generation, not so much.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]So it's all about the parents
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yep, it's you i don't like, your kid is ok
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Are you sure it was Mandarin? This would surprise me.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yeah, people don't realize it's mostly Fujianese
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
no kidding.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:51 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]not too asian, too insular. i don't care if they're green, but if they don't socialize outside of school with the two white dcs in the class, that's a problem imo.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How long was your dc at the school before you switched schools?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wellll, I guess they know what it must feel like for those two diversity kids in an all white class...it doesn't feel so good when the shoe is on the other foot.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]wellll, you're missing the point completely. this isn't about deliberately shunning the different dcs. it's about a culture where dcs are expected to go home, do their homework and more beyond that and help in the family business on weekends. there are no playdates. if dcs socialize, it is with extended family and friends they see in their daily interactions. they do not throw or attend birthday parties for classmates, etc. again, please don't post about these schools and make your completely false generalizations here. you clearly have no idea what you are talking about.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What can I say to you other than I have firsthand experience, although you say "you clearly have no idea (sic) what you are talking about". My niece and nephew attend a chinatown G&T and your offensive stereotype does not fit them. Their dad is a white collar worker, mom at home and both parents attended Ivies. They do extracurricular activities and do the birthday party circuit. So maybe I should say to you "please don't post (your patronizing attitude is so offensive) about these schools". It hard to learn how to socialize with other people who come from a different background and it takes effort, not a bad attitude.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 05:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i toured because there is a G&T program, D2. i was shocked an amazed. the principal there for 20 years has gotten so many grants and partnered with so many arts, music and dance programs that its crazy. i was highly impressed. nice building, too. major multi million dollar renovation. great afterschool program, too where kids receive homework help for half and activities for other half. i have 2 friends with kids in G&T that love it. but i have the sense that gen ed is also fantastic. also very academic.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i toured and dc was accepted into k for g&t...loved the principal, but turned it down.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]where did you choose instead?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Lucy Moses school
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You mean Special Music School. Lucy Moses is a private music school - not an elementary school.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I thought Lucy Moses was the City school?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No. Lucy Moses, as I wrote above, is a private music school. Lucy Moses and Special Music (the city public school) are both housed in the Kaufman Center.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
that is not an elementary school. you mean Special Music School?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Alexander Robertson won some awards I read
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Bank Street
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]if dc is really talented in music there's kauffman
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:07 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Kaufman is NOT A PUBLIC SCHOOL. You're talking about Special Music School (PS 859). It is housed in the Kaufman Center, along with Lucy Moses music school and Merkin Concert Hall.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]WHY TO YELL?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:47 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Not well known on UB because it's in Harlem: PS 153 has a gifted & talented arts program.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]PS11 has the Music and the Brain program. Weekly theater class and the Joyce Theater comes in once a week for dance.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no offense, but that doesn't sound all that super-duper. it sounds like every other decent public to me. at our school, dcs have weekly music, weekly theater and artists from lincoln center come in to teach dcs. not much difference.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]PS 11 music is a piano class, not just singing, etc. most other publics have "music" as part of their curriculum, but they don't teach how to play the instrument
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]MTW also has the MUsic and the Brain grant. i think a few other publics do. but it is a nice program.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:48 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ours does
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Spence
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]what does spence have that other privates dont?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: nothing. it's just spence mom, feeling left out.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 08:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np Spence is known to have a strong focus on arts, actually.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 09:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
What about Town? Doesn't it have a good musical rep?
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 11:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Have to chime in here. PS 3, is considered to have an "arts- based" curriculum. Movement (dance) every week. Ceramics, music 2x a week (more if individual teacher wants it.) Art is often incorporated into other areas like social studies. Programs with Merce Cunningham etc.
[ Reply | Options ]02.11.09, 01:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] what does it say about my friends that their kid is visibly diverse, yet they were re... 21 replies
- adopted?...
Talk : : February 10, 2009
what does it say about my friends that their kid is visibly diverse, yet they were rejected everywhere but one place last year, and this year doesn't look so good.
21 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.10.09, 10:34 AM [ Flag ]their kid farted during the playgroup and didn't say "excuse me"?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:36 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]he should apply to the school of the 'visibly diverse dc' mom who was posting that a school they don't want keep bugging them!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i am the poster who said school was bugging me. get a life troll. the schools turn down is multifactorial. just tell them to rexamine where they possibly went wrong ang try again
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
possibilities: lowish erb, behavioral problems, some weird vibe with the parents. Or it could be just a little bit of each (no major problems) but the cumulative effect is no acceptances
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]TTs are looking for one of each kind (1 AAboy; 1 AAgirl; 1Hispanic boy; etc...). They must have filled their quota.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I hope you are joking.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np-I noticed that almost everywhere on school tours.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
They are unconnected, kid is not scoring well on tests, maybe parents come across as entitled, thinking schools will accept dc because of diversity.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:39 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]it says there are limited spots. Look around at these schools, most of them never have more than two minority kids per class.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why should a child be accepted anywhere based only on "visibly diverse"? Maybe the kid is a dummy.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]hey moron, how can one person be visibly diverse?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]dc is biracial, duh
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]adopted?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What do you mean? Why can't a person be visibly diverse?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
It says they need friends who don't post their family business on UB.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Might have asked for major FA.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That is what happened to us & we were thrilled with the accept!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
there must be some back story there. visibly diverse dc in our preschool with MAJOR behavioral problems and so-so test scores got into every school applied to but fc (and fc is not a tt).
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Things are tough all over admissions wise. There is competition for every spot, and there are lots of strong candidates of color, who are all competing against each other. People are mistaken if they think it's a cakewalk for DCs of color. My kids are biracial (black/white), and they are a dime a dozen in this city now. Any given school will only take one, maybe two.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's what is sad, that schools will only take one or two kids of color.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
nothing. process is fairly random
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I am single and in the early stages of adoption. What do most people here think is a ... 5 replies
- The adoption agency should advise you as to the amount that certain International or local agencies are looking for....
- single adoptive mom here...
Talk : : February 10, 2009
I am single and in the early stages of adoption. What do most people here think is a comfortable amount of $$$ to have saved before the baby arrives..just curious and want to see if I'm on track. Thanks in advance!
5 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.10.09, 10:07 AM [ Flag ]The adoption agency should advise you as to the amount that certain International or local agencies are looking for.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:15 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]single adoptive mom here....one year's salary.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thank you!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No problem. Best thing I ever did with my life. My DC is the joy of my life....would be lost now! Good luck!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's wonderful, Hats off to us both :))
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 01:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Does a kid with 2 parents of non-american background (European) in multi lingual home... 26 replies
- not true. if you are white and same sex you do, if you are white and adoptive parents you do...
Talk : : February 09, 2009
Does a kid with 2 parents of non-american background (European) in multi lingual home have an edge at all? is that diversity?
26 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.09.09, 08:09 PM [ Flag ]Yes, what languages?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op-what difference does it make...:) hard to learn European languages
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, some are harder than others
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]so do you speak a romance language, slavic language or an uralic/ugric language?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]is germanic one of those?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:42 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
sounds like it to me
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no--if your white you dont count
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]not true. if you are white and same sex you do, if you are white and adoptive parents you do
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think it has to do with being a hated minority.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]perhaps. but hated is relative. maybe the op is german. plenty of ppl hate germans!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]true that maybe why OP won't say what language it is - and also german is by far somewhat easy to learn for english speakers since it is in the same family of languages, romance languages are a dime a dozen, a slavic language is difficult, and then you have the ugric - finnish, estonian and hungarian which are some of the most difficult languages to learn
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you have it the other way round. what does it matter if german is easy for english speakers to learn. it doesn't matter. and german is by far more difficult than italian, spanish and french. get your facts straight.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 04:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np- yes French and Spanish are usually the first foreign language taught in the UK for a reason.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i'm a linguist - while german is difficult, the romance languages are usually far easier, but the ugric languages are by far the hardest in europe - with hungarian being one of the most difficult
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
have you studied languages?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
germans may be hated by some, but a huge number of people in this country have german ancestry. not quite the same thing. hated minorities are those people who are frequently targets of discrimination and hate crimes. perhaps germans fit the bill in nyc, but nowhere else. have not read many reports of germans being kept out of coops, denied jobs or beaten up by hate groups. the reality is that targeted groups make good diversity candidates because they will add to this generation's level of tolerance and understanding of others which will untimately make the world a nicer, safer place. you may not be the recipient of the benefit directly, but we all benefit.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My German American grandfather used to get pulled out of the house and have the shit kicked out of him by the Irish cops every time a U-boat sank a ship off the coast of Long Island. Does that count?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np--it's funny that this is said. my dh is german and he avoids germans! LOL
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Hard to say. We are half american, half european family. Dc is bilingual. If there is an edge then it is minimal.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]so are we - dh is european. he tries to speak as much as he can to dd in his language - and it is paying off
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Dh is american. Dc speaks my language but refuses to read.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
No...signed European who used to have the same delusion
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:14 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry to say but I think you are a dime-a-dozen in the private school process. I cannot even begin to count the number of European parents we saw on our tours!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ita
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:45 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
bilingual kids are usually regarded as problematic unless they score very high on verbal section of ERB
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]What about latinoamerican (from Guatemala) but dd does not look very hispanic?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:09 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] What do schools consider diversity? 7 replies
- visual diversity, economic, same sex fam., adoptive families...
Talk : : February 09, 2009
What do schools consider diversity?
7 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.09.09, 07:01 PM [ Flag ]visual diversity, economic, same sex fam., adoptive families
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:03 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]does visual diversity mean people with, say, 3 eyes?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]dh has teeny tiny ding dong, what type of diversity does this fall under?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]not really diverse. they're a dime a dozen.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
female, shemale couple?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]just love how these questions bring out the bigots and weirdos.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
geographic diversity; range of preschools; unusual job of parents; physical disability of child (within range of school to accommodate); cultural diversity (which can include racial and economic)
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 03:26 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] Sorry! i need to rant. Why won't this darn school stop bothering uS?? We offer visibl... 107 replies
- it's hysterical. Why don't they have white kids with a note underneath (of Gay Parents, adopted from Vietnam)....
- np - I don't think many white kids were adopted from Vietnam...
Talk : : February 09, 2009
Sorry! i need to rant. Why won't this darn school stop bothering uS?? We offer visible diversity, and smart kid, and diversity co-ordinator keeps calling us to sell the school to us - WE ARE NOT INTERESTED!!
107 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.09.09, 06:48 PM [ Flag ]get over it. you sound ungrateful.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op; why ungrateful?? they are making us feel like objects - is that ungrateful??
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]honey, you are an object. and you're viewed that way by the schools that annoy you and the ones you think are so great. the sooner you learn this, the easier life at private school will be.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:10 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Bet you $10 it's Claremont (downtown)
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]why?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]happened to friends of mine who are black
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I am painting my kid black!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]kidding!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: i wish i could paint mine white
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]except then your sought-after dc wouldn't be so sought-after. sorry, but that's the truth.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well at least hed be accepted based on merit
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
np-this is how we know this post is fake; no self-respecting person of color would say this.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]YOU R AN IDIOT YOU WOULD WANT YOUR CHILD TO BE ACCEPTED SOMEWHERE BECAUSE OF MELANIN. HOW FOOLISH R U??
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]and you're a dope for responding to the wrong post. no self-respecting person of color would want to paint their child white!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
op:thats such a harsh reality that I had to discover now. Wow dc is an object!!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
OK, what school?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]HM?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why did u say HM??
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]are they notorious for this??
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I think if HM had used this strategy they would have more visibly diverse kids
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:59 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I've got a friend with a biracial son and 99 erbs and she said that it is like a feeding frenzy to get at her kid!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:53 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]By whom? How does she know?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
rotflmao!!!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]me too lol
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np. You guys laugh, but I know that this happened with Dalton and another applicant. I can't say whether OP is FoS, but I wouldn't assume she's lying either.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op here: i'm glad someone sees that I am not totally crazy
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I haven't ruled out the possibility that you're crazy. I just don't think the scenario is impossible like some posters do.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I shed a tear for you. I'd kill for them to chase me and my kid.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Do you have a very connected PSD? How are the ERBs? TIA
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Can you give us the first letter?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Did you go through the application process and then decide you didn't like this school?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes... and now this is an addded turn-off. if they'd called one time that would've been fine .... but4???
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
c&c?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]c&c? why would you think that? they don't even have a real diversity coordinator unless you count diversity coordinator/supplies clerk/"nurse"/etc. nice person, but, so clearly not the school in question.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 09:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]when we applied, we were given a diversity booklet. friend has biracial kids, went to dedicated "diversity night," totally courted. i dunno, just a hunch, despite no coordinator, if that is true.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:56 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
just pull your application.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]too late
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How can it be too late? Tell them no.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i'll email your post to all diversity coordinators. hope it will help you.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sure thing - no problemo. We are already accepted btw, and will be turning them down. dc is no commodity. you are pathetic
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you're welcome.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]hag
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]what's your problem? i'm helping you
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]boo hoo ... help me
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i'm beginning to think this is fake. oh well, i'll send the post first thing in the am just in case.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you're thefake bitch here
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]There isn't a school on earth that would accept a family where the parent uses this language so casually, and something like this is impossible to hide during the interview process. Furthermore, a parent who throws around vulgarity in this manner is incabable of raising a child who could score high enough on the erbs to even be considered. This is a fake post by a wanna be private school parent looking to stir things up. If you should apply, your dc will never ever be accepted anywhere. But you know that.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:17 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Darling, I am the master of fakery ... it's called acting. you are a bitch. i'm calling you out on it
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:20 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np. LMAO! We're at a TT and in some situations I swear like a drunken sailor. It's all about context. You sound like quite the prig.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks np: dont know what a prig is .... but thanks
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
What diversity coordinators are you taling aobut?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I don't know what she's talking about, but she can email all she wants to
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Diversity coordinator hardly know what they're doing...I've seen them and have only found ONE that understood his role. The rest are busy scratching their heads trying to figure out what diversity REALLY means.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Exactly, and the fact that there is such emphasis on visibly diverse kids drives me insane. It almost feels as if these people want dc to be used as some advertisement. What about other tyoes of diversity - are they busy annoying those moms??
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I love the brochures and how they make sure they have one of each color...it's hysterical. Why don't they have white kids with a note underneath (of Gay Parents, adopted from Vietnam).
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]exactly!!! its all so pretentious
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np - I don't think many white kids were adopted from Vietnam...
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Good point. I was ranting and on a roll there. Maybe the father was a soldier and left his vietnamese gf preggers...!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you're not on a roll. you're an ass.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]why r u so rude. someone was clearly having a sense of humor. you must be a dirty little old troll
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
lol
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
PULL THE APPLICATION.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:55 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]TOO LATE
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]why would it ever be "too late" to pull it?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]already accpeted
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:02 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]what's the problem here? just say NO then!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:05 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]i will - just wanted to rant about the annoyance. really liked the school, but this irks me so much
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]since you are saying no, i wish you could tell us the school!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:09 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]no don't want to do that. they will know exactly who I am if they come here. dont want any consequences and repercussions
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yeah, well they already know
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]that's impossible, but i'm glad ive entertained you tonight
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you think the diversity director in question has called every family she wants 4 times?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OMG ... i'm so dumb
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]sorry to pt this out. but at least she'll see you are honorable and not telling school!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op here i really dont give a crap
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]then tell us op! what school?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op: i might need an option for high school ... lol
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
shouting at me will only make me not pull the application so your dc cant get in
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]and passive aggression won't help you dislodge that giant chip from your shoulder
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:00 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]youre the only one being aggressive here
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:01 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I know you! You're the drunk troll who likes to spew venom after hours. Thanks, it's welcome comic relief.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]we'll se who's laughing when your dc is SO
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 08:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
And this is why we all *know* that minority kids have a leg up in the porcess.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 05:24 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]only the smart ones
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:55 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]op here ... well that may be true, but that is still no reason for me to get hounded. I can see them calling me one or two times, but mot more than that. Another department clled to offer us aid even when we didnt opt for it on application form. Just goes to show they are stereotyping us ... and this is exactly why they want my kid .... for a photograph. I'm not saying all private schools do this btw
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
So what does the diversity coordinator say to you in these phone calls?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:50 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]folks ... she said clearly in her post that she was just venting ... can we let it go?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:58 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]It must be Dalton.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'll take the spot! Pick me! Pick me! And count your blessings lady.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]that is not the impression i intended to give off ... I'm complaining about the hounding. I don't think we would have been hounded had dc been caucasian
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
thanks np - everyone is taking this post in the wrong concept
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
you can't have it both ways. you can't insist schools be diverse and then b&tch when they do everything they can to attract the best diverse families. sorry it bothers you so much that people are begging you to come to their school in an environment where many are s/o.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:16 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]AA mom here. I agree. Get over yourself lady.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 08:04 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]1. Once a school accepts you, they really want you and will lobby you to come even if you dont' offer diversity; this happened to us when we didn't immediately accept. Not only that but the school's lobbying helped us to decide to go there. 2. it's good that schools want diversity. It's helped you get chosen over other kids who are also qualified - with so many kids who deserve spots, any little thing that makes you stand out is a distinct advantage. So why be annoyed?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 09:03 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i dont care what you are. I am not AA so your identity doesnt affect my opinion. you could have just written the last two sentences.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np. it's relevant whether you are aa or not.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]op ... well i am not AA and neither is dc
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Diversity comes in many forms - what they should do, is accept kids for their merit, and the process should be unbiased - private schools have been telling us that all the qualified kids are white for years. that clearly is not true. but thaqt is a separate issue
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]AMEN!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]HALLELUJAH
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I think you're interpreting it the wrong way. In one sense all our kids are coomodities in this environment. They only exist on paper. How can admissions people be expected to remember all those kids? They're a score, a report, an evaluation, an interview and in your case, an ethnicity. My kid is the short, gorgeous Irish one with the good sense of humor who can't throw a ball to save his life with the good erbs. I expect nothing more. Next year he'll be a real person to them. I really think you need to step back. At the very least you should realize that there are some very smart, sweet, wonderful kids who don't get a second look. In the end it all comes down to permormance in school. So lose the chip on your shoulder. We're all human, you know? Relax a little.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 10:00 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Amen. Also I detect in her tone a certain satisfaction that her child is so osught after, even as a commodity.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:20 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]btw dc is sought after - but in this case, obviously for the wrong reason
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]when are you going to get over your damn self? you sound awful. i'm sure your sought-after dc is no prize, either. and if you think she's not being wooed for her diversity, you're crazy.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... YOURE A TROOOOOOLL
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 06:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Is that the OP with the ha ha? Or a new all caps lover? I think it is the OP and it was obviously a fake post. A racist one at that.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 07:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] that octuplet mom looked and sounded exactly like I imagined. 33 replies
- No. I'd rather her children be taken away and adopted by people who can care for them properly....
Talk : : February 09, 2009
that octuplet mom looked and sounded exactly like I imagined.
33 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.09.09, 06:07 PM [ Flag ]I was not prepared for the weird lips.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]kinda looks like Angelina Jolie's ugly half-sister...lol!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]totally! like that's what she wanted to look like but she went to a bad surgeon
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
how about the Michael Jackson nose?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]don't forget cheek implants.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:21 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]gross
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she's a train wreck....just read that her house has food
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:24 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^^ smeared allover her house! (not that I don't have
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What? My house has food too. I don't understand.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]linky please
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Google octuplets and photo and house. Her mom let a photog in. Total pit--crap strewn everywhere. I mean, my place is a mess sometimes, but this is unreal (especially given there will be 17 people living there).
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Octopussy is just gross. I can't stand that Joker-smile when people get that stuff put in their lips.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Do we think there's any chance those poor children will be taken away? Did you see the interview with the grandmother this morning? There is no room, no money--no way they can care for those kids.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Fingers crossed.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]not now. that's why she had 8 more. they are set for life with all the books, movies, appearances, donations, volunteers
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]ARRRRGH--but I was hoping that wouldn't happen! It's unconscionable to pay this woman.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You'd rather her get God knows how much Medicaid (can you even imagine the millions that delivery and the NICU cost/is costing?!?) and cash and housing from the government?!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No. I'd rather her children be taken away and adopted by people who can care for them properly.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Eh. Well that will never happen (unfortunately), so I'm hoping she makes some money off this.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:40 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Why not? If there is no money and they live in utter squalor and the mom is crazy, why wouldn't the state be able to step in?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: If the state was forced to step in, they would most likely have to pay off all her loans and medical expenses too.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]being poor isn't enough for the state to take your kids. thank goodness.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The interview with Ann Curry was amazing. The mom is NUTS. When Ann asked her how she'd feed them, she basically said she had no idea, but that God would help. I hope someone buys whatever book she writes or TLC gives her some dumb reality show, because *I* sure don't want my tax dollars going to that trainwreck.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 06:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]duh, that was the whole idea. move over kate and what's his face.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Honestly, don't know if this shit's going to play well in this economy. Might have sort of a rubberneck draw, but on the other hand it's got to piss off a pretty large segment of the population.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Just as I suspected: she DIDN'T have a dysfunctional childhood, she grew up in a stable home with two middle-class parents who are still married. Granted, that doesn't mean her childhood was perfect, but it sure as hell was more idyllic than most people's.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]she's one of those pussies that likes to blame all their mistakes on their parents, their friends, their husbands, etc. etc. TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY DAMMIT
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 07:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I would like to know how she had perfectly sculpted french tip nails with 6 kids at home and just gave birth to 8? I mean really? Seriously? How did she get her nails done logistically go to a nail salon?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]she has afriend who is a manicurist?
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 11:52 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I noticed that also, way to go on priorities!
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]LOL! I know. I haven't had a manicure in six months and I'm sure my hhi is 10 times her parents' (and I only have two kids).
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
And she's on food stamps. Wonderful.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 12:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Wow. And can you imagine the cost of whatever formula WIC will give her? Bet it will cost 6 k a month to feed those babies. That quack of a doctor she be the one coughing up.
[ Reply | Options ]02.10.09, 02:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] I don't get it. Why do people waste oodles of money and time just to get their aging ... 38 replies
- OP: It's called international adoption...
- Please. Angelina seems to acquire new adopted kids pretty damned easily....
- year is quick that's fine. But rarely does any adoption happen swiftly whether in this country or overseas....
- I'm talking about quick as compared with adopting from other countries, heck even in this country. Not...
Talk : : February 09, 2009
I don't get it. Why do people waste oodles of money and time just to get their aging body to produce one more child into this overcrowded world? If it's not working naturally, why not just ADOPT? Are you so narcissistic that you need someone with your (likely mediocre) genes?
38 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]02.09.09, 12:23 PM [ Flag ]Who died and made you Queen of he reproductive police?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh my god, you said it so much better than me!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: I'm just Queen of pointing out time-wasting and selfish things Americans do
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Like stick your nose up other woman's uterus'?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
There's no "just" about adoption. Why don't you adopt? It's not the responsibility of women and men struggling with fertility issues to adopt the children in need of the world. Just because you hear about 1 woman who adopted a child in 4 weeks, there are hundreds of women who have been waiting on adoptions lists for 4 years or more.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: Are they waiting for white babies? Because China is practically giving them away for free. Or do they have a problem with those babies?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Well then why don't you adopt?? If its the population explosion you are worried about, its your duty to adopt and not have your own kids. It has nothing to do with fertility. So, are your DC all adopted?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Of course it does. Why waste money trying to get pregnant for years, when you can spend that money on an adopted child?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Now, you have revealed yourself for the fool you are. Take a peek into what is going on with adoptions in China these days.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]No they aren't! It has gotten to be a very lengthy process you ignorant BITCH
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You really don't know anything do you. People are currently waiting 3 years to adopt from China. There is an incredibly long wait to adopt from any foreign country.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My sister in law has been on the list for China for 4 years. So you are full of shit and clearly don't know what you are talking about. China is not giving children away as many of China's adoption laws have changed since the early 90s.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
ITA. angers me even more when gays and lesbians do it since they've entered into a relationship which by definition cannot produce biological children
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you can't snap your fingers and adopt. MOST of the children up for adoption in the US have drug/alcohol addicted mothers.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: It's called international adoption
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]well, many kids from russia have heavy drinking mothers too. china has made adoption more difficult. you sound like someone who has not been in this situation.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:29 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np ITA. There was a TV program on in the last several months about Russian adoptees and the massive issues many of the dcs have (often due to FAS).
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]NP, I think it is just a stir the pot post from an unintelligent person. Ignoring
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:31 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
The country with the shortest wait time for babies is Ethiopia and this was the stat from 2007. And that wait time is 1.2 years, which I don't consider short when a man and or woman desperately want a child. There is no such thing as a snap your finger adoption, not even for a celebrity or wealthy person. It's a hard road and with paper that stands a tall as a 2 year old.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]hijack - if you know, do many of the children from Ethiopia have parents who died of AIDS? Do they also have a high infection rate (the children)?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]The baby my friend adopted doesn't have HIV. I don't know the infection rate in children but I can ask my friend. They medical care is beyond sub-par, but they really do try to work with HIV-infected pregnant women so that they do not pass the virus on to their baby during childbirth.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Please. Angelina seems to acquire new adopted kids pretty damned easily.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Seems. It took her a bit over year to adopt Zahara. Now if people think a year is quick that's fine. But rarely does any adoption happen swiftly whether in this country or overseas.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Angelina?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:52 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How is a year not quick? If you were actively trying fertility it would take you several years or at the very least several months to be successful + 9 months of pregnancy. Compared to that a year flies by.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm talking about quick as compared with adopting from other countries, heck even in this country. Not so much in comparison with fertility treatments.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Well, some people care about prenatal care and want an infant. Adoption is not a panacea. I would do donor eggs before I would adopt.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Adoption to order. How nice.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 01:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I sure hope your kids are adopted. Spending 9 months being pregnant is a waste of your time and money as well, especially when China is giving away its extras for free.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You know, I'd respond sensibly to this post, but I think all you really care about is getting to the right hand side 'Most popular' list.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Another issue that hasn't been addressed yet: should women be having children (biological or adopted) at 40/45? By the time their kids reach their teenage years, they're pretty much at retirement age and aren't as mentally and physically fit as they used to be. I still say if you missed the boat on your 30s, sorry and enjoy your nieces and nephews. It's selfish and disgusting to see grandmother-aged mothers.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:39 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]There have been "change of life babies" since the beginning of time.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]your attitude is what is disgusting.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:43 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]wake up honey. having kids in your 40s is not a gradmotherly age when the life expectancy has increased and anyone worth anything goes to college and has a career.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]So why is it possible to reproduce well into '40s if it wasn't meant to be? I dare you to stop your birth control at 40 if you think women shouldn't be having children after 40. Was nature selfish and disgusting for making women able to give birth late in life?
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My great great grandmother had my great grandmother when she was 40--in 1883. Hardly a new thing (and not THAT old). Not like you're suddenly a barren hag the day of your 40th bday.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
You know your problem. You had DC when you were 22, 24, 25, and 27. Now you have all the kids you can manage, but you don't have a job or a life. So you are looking hard to make yourself feel special and passing judgments n women who chose to wait. Well my decree is that women with no jobs and no prospects should not be allowed to reproduce as is brings down the IQ of our society.
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: Yes! I made it to the sidebar! Thought I could if I posted something inflammatory. Thanks guys for helping out!
[ Reply | Options ]02.09.09, 12:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] It's the formula that makes all these children obese. They get addicted to the sugar ... 65 replies
- So why don't you do something about it? Bottle that boob milk of yours & sell it to people who adopt or can't breastfeed for whatever reason....
- So babies that are adopted or are in orphanages are not only disadvantaged b/c they are unwanted, but they are going to be fat on top...
Talk : : August 15, 2008
It's the formula that makes all these children obese. They get addicted to the sugar young. You don't see many long term breast fed children who are obese.
65 replies [ Reply | Watch | Options ]08.15.08, 06:19 PM [ Flag ]I was a formula baby & I have been thin my entire (adult) life, 5'7'' & 105 for about 15 years now.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:22 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]topic is fat kids not thin defensive adults
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]np-LMAO!! Thank You.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]actually topic is whether ff dbs are automatically obese, not your pathetic need to snark.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 05:46 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]eat something defensive anorexic
[ Reply | Options ]09.05.08, 04:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Me too, I am 5.7 and 140. Not been very sick and straight A student.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:24 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]see above. Let's stay on topic, It's not about you.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
no it's not. its the parents who feed their kids crap... ever look at what a chubby kids eats?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]same parents who FF kids
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:34 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]B.S.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 04:35 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
this is a stupid stupid, MANY kids are formula feed and are not obese or will become obese...grow up!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:27 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]question
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]OP: Read the statement. Not all FF will be obese. But most obese children are FF. Rare to find obese BF.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:33 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]your statement says "it's the formula THAT MAKES ALL THESE CHILDREN OBESE." implies that formula MAKES ALL obese, which I know you didn't intend, but that's why you're getting these responses.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]exactly! why make such a generalized, ignorant statment????????
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 01:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
link please? or should i just go to pullingitstraightoutofmyass.com?
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 05:38 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]lol lol lol!!!
[ Reply | Options ]09.05.08, 04:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
So why don't you do something about it? Bottle that boob milk of yours & sell it to people who adopt or can't breastfeed for whatever reason.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It takes a village. I did my part.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:48 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]thanks, hillary
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 01:07 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]what does that mean? you signed up for sanctimommy.com? you suck.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
She is probably a looser who don't have anything going for her in her life. I bf but jesus lady, get a life!
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:45 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]Are you talking to me? Please learn to spell if you are going to attack & name call.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:49 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Don't waste time spell checking get to work bottling up that boob milk.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]your idea, your job. smelt it, dealt it.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:04 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]How old are you?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:17 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Am I bothered?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:11 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]you don't get that do you?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
So the ff child who has exposure to sugar (which btw, I am sure is in breastmilk to some, maybe lesser extent, as well) gets addicted while the bf child who has exposure to sugar a bit later through food gets off scott free b/they had lower sugar intake until age 1? All people eat sugar, and all are vulnerable to becmoing addicted-has nothing to do with some magic first months being so critical.
[ Reply | Options ]08.16.08, 02:51 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]So babies that are adopted or are in orphanages are not only disadvantaged b/c they are unwanted, but they are going to be fat on top of that?! How awful. That's for shedding light on that. Thanks for letting us know that at least your child isn't fat. Get a life lady.
[ Reply | Options ]08.18.08, 07:10 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It seems likely to me that the type of women who choose to breastfeed might be more likely to feed their kids healthy foods - that might be why it seems like more FF kids are overweight...
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 07:43 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]I agree with this. Just because there is a correlation between being formula fed and being obese (if there even is) doesn't mean there is a CAUSAL relationship between the two...and the causality could go either way (e.g., families more prone to obesity tend to formula feed their babies).
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 07:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]np: but the research does try to control for these issues. and eventhen it shows that bf babies tend to be less obese. ebfing in the first few days/weeks alone has a big effect on future obesity. will every bf kid be skinny, or every ff one be fat? of coruse not.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:30 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]i know that but most on this board seem to be confusing correlation with causation. A study about bfing could never prove causation...it's not a scientific experiment. only experiments can indicate causation. I am a scientist...
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:34 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, based on these stats. but some scientists seem to be identifying factors in breastmilk that may effect how appetite/satiety is perceived by the brain. so that's closer to causation, if its developed.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:37 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]ok but not yet. And for the record, I think bf is the only way to go.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:40 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]sure. but also get bugged by people who claim that no correlationis valid because they assume its not adequately controlled.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:41 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]OK, but you realize it's still just a correlation?? Correlations have NOTHING, repeat nothing to do with causation. Even when all other factors are controlled for. You don't seem to want to believe this but it is simply not debatable.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:46 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]yes, i know that. but when people say oh, it can't be the breastmilk because its just healthy moms that bf, its really wrong as well. the poele that look at these numbers try to clean all those factors out.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:49 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Ok, but not really. Clean all those factors out is called factor analysis and it's impossible to eliminate all contributing factors in a quasi-experiment. It just is, sorry, you don't have enough information about the scientific process to be explaining what the researchers who conduct these studies do...
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:53 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]note the word "try." my point is, simply, that te peole taht do studies are aware that there may be confounding factors, adn they try to get those out of the numbers. is it perfect? no.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:55 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]I get it, I'm ONE of those people, as I said. It's just that you aren't characterizing the process correctly...at all.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 03:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
oy. there are many women who are not able to breastfeed but who don't force their dcs to mainline hostess ho-hos at gunpoint. i realize you have to prove yourself superior to every other mom because you bf'd, but try to control the impulse.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 05:44 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Breastmilk contains sugar. In fact, it's technically sweeter. And, of course, it depends on what Mom ate, unlike formula.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:19 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]but the colaric content varies. formula is always the same. and breastmilk has satiety factors (tells baby to stop eating) which are lackingin formula
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:31 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]You're proving my point. With BM, it comes down to the sugar Mom is eating. So OP's point is absurd based on its primary assumption.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:36 AM [ Flagged | link to this post ]no, it doesn't. even if mom eats sugar, the caloric contens of the milk is regulated not based on what she eats, but on the baby's needs as she grows, etc. i am not aware fo studies linking the calories of breastmilk, or the sugar content, to mom's intake.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Breast milk has a completely different type of sugar than formula. There is no comparison.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 09:57 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i can't tell you how many times i was told about all the damage i had done to my children by ff by moms in the midst of feeding their kids french fries. i personally think the moderate, healthy lifestyle we enforce with DD and DS matter so much more than ff
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:23 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Do you actually think it is the formula? Do you not recognize that the formula is a proxy for so many other things which we already know correlate with obesity?
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 08:38 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]this is interesting. i know there have been some studies on babies and weight WHILE either breast or bottle feeding, but did not realize there were long term studies showing a link btwn weight and breast vs. bottle feeding. Where did you get your info? Link pls!
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 09:11 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]Sorry there is NO scientific data backing that up. Plus you might be an anti-juice lady too, which U of Minn. just released a study showing no increased risk of obesity in chidren who drink 100% juice
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 09:13 AM [ Flag | link to this post ]my dc drinks juice and he's a stick.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 05:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Have you ever tasted breastmilk? It's sweeter than formula.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 12:08 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Different kind of sugar, tho'. Lactose (glucose/galactose) is a different kind of sugar than the corn-based fructose in most formula. You could make the argument that a bf infant becomes used to sweeter tasting foods, but I think that fructose consumption has a greater metabolic impact.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 05:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
And how do you know this? Have you been asking people on the street or is this from a study/article?
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 12:35 PM [ Flagged | link to this post ]you should do more research.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 03:47 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Oh, that's BS. I was formula fed and ebf both my children. We're all normal weight, as are my formula-fed sisters.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 04:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]An N of 5, there you go. Case closed.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 04:45 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
i was formula fed and i'm a bean pole.
[ Reply | Options ]08.19.08, 05:37 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]WRONG WRONG WRONG! My dcs never breast fed, never sick, both very smart, both actually a little underweight. I wish more people cared about their toddler and tweens nutrion the way they obsess about Bf. It is the pre packaged meals in a box. The preservatives and additives, the take out food, the lack of exercise. It is the limits the parents set when the child starts making food choices.
[ Reply | Options ]09.05.08, 04:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]You mean the stuff that was discovered ages ago and mass marketed 60 years ago? In our mothers' generation breast feeding was rare, and they are a
[ Reply | Options ]09.05.08, 04:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]^^^ group that had little childhood obesity. Obesity is an adult problem for them.
[ Reply | Options ]09.05.08, 04:32 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]yet another result of FF mixed with poor nutrition and McD's. It's the combination.
[ Reply | Options ]09.05.08, 05:36 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
[+] i envy moms with 6 or more kids 23 replies
- I originally wanted to have 2 and then adopt 2. But having them never worked out so we...
- Did you adopt a sibling group? I really feel called to...Initially my dh was freaked out about domestic adoption and wanted to pursue international. But then he...being pregnant. Also I don't want to adopt a single child. I have 5 siblings, but...the time. I keep reading about older kid adoptions and wonder if maybe that's our path....
Talk : : August 15, 2008
-
why?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:54 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I envy those with 4. We have 2 and will stick with that. But I originally wanted 4. I'd also like to foster kids but it's not something dh is into and you really both need to be on board.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 01:57 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I have 2 and want 4 also. I'm into adopting but everytime we've gotten close I got pregnant so now I'm scared to face our social worker.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 03:58 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I originally wanted to have 2 and then adopt 2. But having them never worked out so we just did the "adopt 2" part. We've got the greatest kids, we're really lucky.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 04:19 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Did you adopt a sibling group? I really feel called to adopt, dh is just going along, so I'm a little scared to push it. This last time we were trying so hard not to get pregnant and dh thinks it's a sign. We can't afford 5 dc.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 04:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Nope. Two domestic infant adoptions--kids are 6 & 2.5 now. My dh isn't ready for fostering so I might do something like CASA (court appointed advocate) when my kids are older. It's hard to get both spouses on the same page. Initially my dh was freaked out about domestic adoption and wanted to pursue international. But then he got educated (some workshops) about what it's really like and did a total 180.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 04:25 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]My dh was on board originally, but I got pregnant right after we closed on the house we purchased to be able to adopt. 4yrs later I got pregnant again right after we completed our home study. I'm 42, so getting up there in age. We went in for a new homestudy just after db turned 1yo. Swore that we weren't trying to get pregnant, I was still breastfeeding and didn't even have my period back yet. 4mos later I was pregnant so we were put on hold again. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage at 10wks. So no adopted dc or bio-baby. I can't help but think it's a sign.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 04:50 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Do you think you're going to try (to adopt) again?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:56 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]As I said we're kind of scared to even approach our social worker again. Also our finances have taken quite a hit with us buying a house and having 2 dc. I want to look into state sponsored-adoptions because I really would like a little girl to fill in the 4yr gap between my bio-kids. However we are still mourning our lost baby. It's been less than a week since my miscarriage. I just don't know. I really liked being pregnant. Also I don't want to adopt a single child. I have 5 siblings, but my oldest brother has a different father. I think I've spent my entire life worried that he'll need a kidney or somrthing and none of us would be a match. I couldn't bear to adopt a child and be in that situation. Crazy I know.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:06 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]I'm so sorry about your miscarriage--that must be hard. I do feel it will all work out. I think my children found me--once DS was born and came home everything made sense to me. GL.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Thank you. I think so too. I'm trying not to push but I just know our adopted dc are out there. I just wonder if now is not the time. I keep reading about older kid adoptions and wonder if maybe that's our path.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:28 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
I envy anyone who can afford more than one. I am grateful for what I have though.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:13 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Children only cost as much as you let them.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:15 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]It's school that costs money. I live in an area that there is not a great public school. So close to $20K for PreK for one is all we can handle.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Children don't need pre-k.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:30 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
LOL!! I guess I don't need to clothe or educate my dc then. Well, heck I'll have 10. Thanks for showing me the light! I have to log off now & get busy since I am already 35 & only have one.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:41 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]What? Why don't you have to clothe or educate your dc's? This makes no sense.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:12 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]If they only cost as much as you let them . . .
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:14 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]That's true. You are right.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:18 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Do you live on a commune?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 06:16 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]There are plenty on low cost options for clothes. Buy out of season, on sale, 2nd hand or swap with others. We purchased in an area not known for good publics, but our dc are zone for the one good school in the neighborhood and that's where they're going. With the time & money we save on not going private or shlepping them out of district, we can afford enrichment classes that fit our needs. Also living in our non-trendy neighborhood thats walking distance to museums, libraries, the zoo and botanic gardens means we can afford the space for all the dc we want as well as the cultural activities that make living in NYC worthwhile.
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 08:23 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
Wow, why on earth do you do that?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 05:42 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]Carol Brady?
[ Reply | Options ]08.15.08, 07:26 PM [ Flag | link to this post ]
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