On My Way Home

Thought I would stop in and give you all a thread, since I have some time to burn waiting for my flight. Some quick thoughts:

1.) The people at the United check-in counter in Orlando are the singularly most useless human beings on the planet.

2.) Although I do not support the death penalty, I think an exception could be made for Richard Reid. Millions of people all over the country have to take their shoes off every time they fly because of that jackass. I bet more collective man-hours are lost to this one man than anyone else who has ever lived.

3.) Saw Zack and Miri Make a Porno while waiting for a flight, and it was dirtier than I thought it would be. I have no earthly idea how this was not NC-17, but it most assuredly is not appropriate for younger teens.

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113 Responses to “On My Way Home”

  1. 1

    jenniebee

    Saw that on Monday, have been trying to un-see Jason Mewes ever since.

    Speaking of more skin than you had expected, From 52 to 48 with love. Go all the way through.

  2. 2

    Punchy

    The people at the United check-in counter employed by the TSA in Orlando KC are the singularly most useless human beings on the planet.

    Fixed.

    Here’s mah story about da feets: 2 X-masses ago, the airlines posted a sign at the check-in counter at Midway saying that shoes no longer needed to be removed (it was winter in Chicago, snow on everyone’s soles, thus melted snow + dirt + salt on everone’s socks, etc). So when I go up to the detector avec mes Docs, they go nuts. I tell them I’m not required to remove them. BIG MISTAKE. Never tell the TSA you have ANY rights. They acted as if I was crazy. I thought I was going to be arrested. Seriously. Boots came off in hurry.

    Absolutely no communication between the airlines and the TSA at all.

  3. 3

    NonyNony

    Doesn’t "R" mean "Not appropriate for younger teens" already? I know the rating’s been watered down over the years, but I don’t think I’d feel comfortable letting a 15 year old see most "R" rated films under normal circumstances.

    I’ve always figured that NC-17 means "heads up – not only is this inappropriate for anyone under the age of 17, but it’s also the kind of movie that’s going to be uncomfortable to watch with your mom & dad in the room – even if you’re 50 and they’re 80."

  4. 4

    greynoldsct00

    It’s Florida, John… what else can I say?

  5. 5

    The Moar You Know

    Although I do not support the death penalty, I think an exception could be made for Richard Reid.

    Same here on all counts, but only if the sack of crap is locked in a chamber and suffocated with the foul odor of the millions of shoes that his actions forced the removal of.

    Like nitrogen asphyxiation, but with odor.

  6. 6

    Comrade Stuck

    I think an exception could be made for Richard Reid. Millions of people all over the country have to take their shoes off every time they fly because of that jackass.

    Funhouse Musing #?? – One bomb found in a shoe is bad, but better than one found in the ass.

    Food for thoughts of gratitude in your travels Senor Cole

  7. 7

    Delia

    The last time my late father took an airplane trip, which was when he was about eighty-four and somewhat unsteady on his feet, and he was on that extremely high risk flight from Salt Lake City to Phoenix, he had to go over to the side and have his elderly wife help him get his shoes on and off, because, you know, you just never know who’s going to have a bomb in his shoes.

    Idiots. I really hope President Obama gets around to straightening out the DHS, after all the other messes the goopers have left behind.

  8. 8

    mcd

    Apparently it WAS NC-17, but they appealed.

  9. 9

    tom

    Millions of people have to take their shoes off because the jackasses running the TSA overreacted to Richard Reid.

  10. 10

    Zifnab

    3.) Saw Zack and Miri Make a Porno while waiting for a flight, and it was dirtier than I thought it would be. I have no earthly idea how this was not NC-17, but it most assuredly is not appropriate for younger teens.

    I’ll take that as a big thumbs up.

  11. 11

    John

    I don’t see why Richard Reid being an idiot means that everyone has to act like an idiot forever afterwards. Let’s end the stupid shoe bullshit.

  12. 12

    Punchy

    Its not like movie’s title gives you any clue to its raunchiness

  13. 13

    Calouste

    Ah, taking your shoes off before flying. Another fine example of securiticism theatre. Hardly anyone else in the world does it, and guess what, no planes get blown up there.

    Airport security in its present state is one big (mostly corporate) welfare program.

  14. 14

    The Other Steve

    I’m pretty certain you have to be over 17 to get into an R rated movie. At least that was the case when I was a kid and we wanted to try to see Rambo First Blood Part II.

    But the big question was it any good? funny at all?

    I like Kevin Smith, but truth be told the only thing from Seth Rogan I’ve liked has been Superbad.

  15. 15

    The Other Steve

    END THE SHOE BULLSHIT!

  16. 16

    Zifnab

    Doesn’t "R" mean "Not appropriate for younger teens" already? ... I’ve always figured that NC-17 means "heads up – not only is this inappropriate for anyone under the age of 17, but it’s also the kind of movie that’s going to be uncomfortable to watch with your mom & dad in the room – even if you’re 50 and they’re 80."

    The only difference between "R" and "NC-17" is the revenue stream. Most theaters won’t touch an "NC-17" movie, so if you can argue it down to "R" (which has the same effect – kids under 17 aren’t allowed in without parents) you can actually get it shown and turn a profit.

    As it stands, the entire ratings system is a fucking joke. "The Passion of the Christ" was rated PG-13, blood-soaked crucifixion scene and all. Meanwhile, Die Hard 4 censored out "Yipee ka-yo, ka-ya mother fuckers" because THAT was the only thing pushing it to R.

    Clown shoes.

  17. 17

    Zifnab

    I like Kevin Smith, but truth be told the only thing from Seth Rogan I’ve liked has been Superbad.

    I was a fan of Pineapple Express.

  18. 18

    Krista

    That shoe thing is a pain in the ass, absolutely. And I hope that somebody puts a stop to it at some point. Especially for the elderly. It’s pitiful watching some 80-something old gent trying to keep his balance while unlacing his shoes, with an impatient line behind him.

    Mind you some people just shouldn’t fly. On our flight back from New York, we were in line behind a family who not only had an absurd quantity of carry-on luggage, but they had full-sized (economy-sized, actually) bottles of shampoo in their bags, and every last stinking one of them had lace-up shoes or boots. Basically, you could tell that they had not done any homework at all. Thank goodness we had arrived extra early for our flight.

  19. 19

    burnspbesq

    @John:

    Amen. Airport security is a farce. At my home airport, John Wayne, the preferred parking is so close to the terminal that a decent car bomb could take most of the thing down. And yet I have never – ever – been asked to open my trunk or hood, and no one has ever tried to look under my car.

    I generally shy away from tinfoil hat-type thinking, but every time I stand in that fucking line I cannot help but think that its true purpose is to teach the American people to behave like sheep.

  20. 20

    Xecky Gilchrist

    @Comrade Stuck: One bomb found in a shoe is bad, but better than one found in the ass.

    Oh yes.

    If only his bomb had been in the shape of a screaming baby!

  21. 21

    Xecky Gilchrist

    @burnspbesq: I generally shy away from tinfoil hat-type thinking, but every time I stand in that fucking line I cannot help but think that its true purpose is to teach the American people to behave like sheep.

    That’s not tinfoil. I think the real purpose was to make the American people think the Bushies were doing something useful about airline security while they actually weren’t and to shovel money into cronies’ pockets, but the sheep thing was at least a secondary purpose if not a primary one. Gotta keep up the fear.

  22. 22

    Pastafarian

    If only his bomb had been in the shape of a screaming baby!

    FTW!

  23. 23

    W.E.B. Adamant

    Zach and Miri was originally NC-17, but Kevin Smith appealed it. Seriously, if "porno" is in the name, don’t take the kids.

  24. 24

    stickler

    God, if Obama does NOTHING besides end the security theater farce at our airports, his Administration will have been a raging success. Words cannot describe my loathing for the idiots who have made the airport security policies we now have.

    Please, Mr. Magical Unity Pony, make the stupid shoe theater stop!

  25. 25

    Laura W

    So how great is it to have Jimmy Smits on Dexter anyway?
    It gives the plot line a depth and dark maturity that the Ice Truck Killer didn’t quite deliver, IMO.
    I am about to savor last week’s episode, aptly titled: "Si Se Puede".
    And can I just say how hard it is to tear myself away from MSNBC where Mika-too-cute-by-half is nearly winking into the camera as she thrusts her shoulders to and fro, and JOE is one of her two opening guests.
    I don’t have a DVD player on my tee vee, but I have this here MacBook Pro. There are two episodes of Weeds I’ve not seen from last season, and I’ve been intending to watch the entire last season of 6FU again.
    My life has been given back to me, All Praise Be Barack.
    (How come Mika looks more and more like Streisand the longer she grows her hair out?)

  26. 26

    smiley

    There is an interesting phenomenon in psychology called "diffusion of responsibility". The more people who witness something bad/wrong, the less likely any of them are to report seeing it (Look up Kitty Genovese. Though that story has been partly debunked, it’s still an excellent example) . I have fallen victim to it at least twice, both, interestingly, on airplanes. I won’t tell you about the first, because I’m a stickler about my anonymity, but the second was when I saw a short, black man come on the plane dressed as a Catholic priest carrying a brief case and from what I could see, then exiting the plane without it. Didn’t say a thing to anyone because I wasn’t sure if I saw everything accurately (who doubts a priest?). The priest was probably something other than a terrorist (spy, criminal, priest?) because we landed safely. Maybe the bomb in that briefcase was a dud :^). What’s my point? I don’t mind taking off my shoes. I have to work on reporting what I see, however.

  27. 27

    D-Chance.

    Funniest video I’ve seen since… well, since the last time the Onion went on a rampage.

    Cole and the MUPpets in a nutshell.

    Yes.

  28. 28

    D. Mason

    I generally shy away from tinfoil hat-type thinking, but every time I stand in that fucking line I cannot help but think that its true purpose is to teach the American people to behave like sheep.

    I don’t think noticing the painfully obvious makes you a conspiracy-threorist. Just take a casual look around and you can see that so many things are designed to keep us complacent and distracted from the outrageous condition of our government.

  29. 29

    Dennis - SGMM

    @D-Chance.:
    That was funny. We still won.

  30. 30

    Comrade Stuck

    @D-Chance.:

    Thank you D Chance. That video provided a sparkling group off potential new recruits for the Funhouse. We are going to work on a new wing named The OZombie Exhibit. Excuse me while I go rename my Parakeet BARACK.

  31. 31

    Cassidy

    They made me take my boots off when going to Iraq.

  32. 32

    Dennis - SGMM

    @Cassidy:
    Holy shit. And I thought that I was being screwed when the Red Cross wanted to charge me for coffee when I was en route to Vietnam.

  33. 33

    smiley

    >i>Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    OK, now that’s scary. What was it? Spy? Criminal? The bomb was a dud? Giving away operational details? I give up.

  34. 34

    Krista

    They made me take my boots off when going to Iraq.

    Are you even kidding me? That’s a goddamned insult, that is.

  35. 35

    jibeaux

    That’s a cute website, jenniebee. Those folks are better adjusted than I am, since I’m still in whatever stage is represented by, roughly:

    hahahahhahahahahahahahaahahaa suck it Trebek!
    Toga! Toga! Toga!

  36. 36

    Common Sense

    Anyone else gleefully awaiting the day when Palin runs as AK’s Senator, railing against the Good Ole Boys that tried to take her down? We may just end up with a Senator who is a member of the AIP —Odds are she’ll have a tough time coming back into the fold gracefully. She could simultaneously be a constant thorn in the GOP’s side and a reminder of the dangers of far right politics for decades. Happy Days…

  37. 37

    hifyer

    Dang…wonder how John will be after that 2 hr layover he has coming up…

  38. 38

    srv

    They made me take my boots off when going to Iraq.

    You never know, some Hillary lover in the military could go ape.

    A relative, who is a pilot, is always chipping away at them whenever some new allowance is made and they aren’t aware of it. He went through a dozen or so nail clippers the first year. He does that for my freedom.

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    There are procedures here, and you just need to get back in line.

  39. 39

    Laura W

    "You come from a party that celebrates ignorance."
    Lawrence O’Donnell to Crazy Uncle Pat, 6:51PM EST, MSNBC
    (in response to Pat’s question re. HOW did Sarah manage to excite the party so and cause McShame’s numbers to rise so steeply, so quickly?)
    NO, I am not watching. I just had to pause Dexter while I went potty and made another adult beverage.
    But my timing was good.
    And then there was the SNAP quip by Pat to LO re. evolution…something about him coming from apes being understandable.
    Fuck I’m glad I no longer feel compelled to watch this crap.
    (I’ve not watched D-Chance’s link yet, but I can already feel the resemblance.)

  40. 40

    AhabTRuler

    That’s a cute website, jenniebee.

    That’s the sort of positive and uplifting website that makes me wish I could experience human emotion.

  41. 41

    Tsulagi

    They made me take my boots off when going to Iraq.

    Well, maybe you didn’t fit the “real American” profile. Wearing an ACU doesn’t count, you have to have the requisite flag lapel pin and drool cup.

  42. 42

    binzinerator

    Nobody’s as useless as our fucktard president. Check this, from the NYT:

    With the global economy on a knife’s edge, and labor figures on Friday very likely to show mounting American job losses, the financial markets, foreign leaders and even the Bush administration are looking to Mr. Obama for signs of how he will manage the crisis.

    No incoming president in modern times has been so pressured to begin governing, in effect, before he is sworn into office. ...

    ...The Obama camp is feeling pressure from the administration, according to several people familiar with the situation, specifically from Treasury Secretary Henry M. Paulson Jr., to “co-own” the bailout program… .

    The Treasury has reserved office space, so far unused, for Obama representatives. Mr. Paulson has sought Mr. Obama’s advice into the choice of a permanent director of the bailout program, and a commitment that Mr. Obama, once he is president, will keep the person on.

    George W. Bush has given up even trying to be president. Fucking useless assholes in the White House. That stupid immature spoiled little boy now wants someone to 1) Do his fucking job for him, 2) Make everything all better, 3) Share the blame for his fuckups.

    Yes I know we knew that’s what Bush was about all along. But Christ on a pogostick, if ever there was proof Bush and his fuckholes had no shame, no sense of responsibility, and no concern how fucking juvenile he looks, it’s this.

    Man it’s like a fucking drunkard on a bender who doesn’t care he just pissed his pants and vomited all over himself in public. Oh yeah, forgot. He is a fucking drunkard who often pissed his pants and vomited all over himself in public. No wonder.

  43. 43

    AhabTRuler

    I prefer the S,N! version.

  44. 44

    binzinerator

    After George Bush is no longer president I am looking forward to not feeling the need to say ‘fuck’ so much.

  45. 45

    Dennis - SGMM

    @binzinerator:
    Did you really, for one second, think that Bush would show any more class in leaving his office than he did in holding it?

  46. 46

    Comrade Stuck

    Did you really, for one second, think that Bush would show any more class in leaving his office than he did in holding it?

    I look forward to the book that lays it out; How That Activist Supreme Court Caused George Bush To Kill America

    Written By

    Anonymous Wingnut

  47. 47

    Comrade Tax Analyst

    2.) Although I do not support the death penalty, I think an exception could be made for Richard Reid. Millions of people all over the country have to take their shoes off every time they fly because of that jackass. I bet more collective man-hours are lost to this one man than anyone else who has ever lived.

    Actually, Death is too good for him. I like several of the earlier suggestions in favor of making him sniff, inhale, ingest, consume, etc., every freaking stinky sock that has been exposed since he tried to toe-jack that plane. But I also think whoever decided that everybody has to take off their shoes being boarding an airplane should be in an adjoining Restrained Sock-Sniffing Chamber right next to Reid…and whoever decided we need to keep doing this dumb crap would get the next one over.

    Well, maybe that’s a bit extreme…and probably too expensive to implement. So, OK, the "we need to keep this" decider doesn’t have to be restrained in a Sock-Sniffing Chamber. No, they can just Hoover up all the stink odor after Reid and Decider #1 sniff on the stench and then process it into one huge sock-stench bong hit for Decider #2. They could bring him a "fresh" hit every morning before he starts his busy workday of deciderating. It might give him some insight into the concept of "needless, disgusting, annoying, and pointless inconvenience".

  48. 48

    binzinerator

    @Dennis

    I guess not really, but I thought he might still be a bit more circumspect about it. The drunkard isn’t even trying to wipe the vomit off his face any more.

    Not disappointed, just disgusted even further. Amazing that’s possible.

  49. 49

    Tsulagi

    With the global economy on a knife’s edge, and labor figures on Friday very likely to show mounting American job losses, the financial markets, foreign leaders and even the Bush administration are looking to Mr. Obama for signs of how he will manage the crisis.

    They’re all hoping someone did their homework. For this administration it’s been eight years of the dog ate it.

  50. 50

    jerry 101

    @W.E.B. Adamant:

    I guarantee you, GUARANTEE you, that some idiotic piece of trash took a couple of 9 and 7 year olds to this movie.

    It’s happened. And they probably took the kids to a 10 pm showing.

    I remember when I saw Face/Off at the theater. I went to the last show, there were all of 25 people in the theater, then in comes some piece of trash with 3 kids in tow. The youngest couldn’t have been older than 5.

    So, the rest of us theater goers have to deal with the inconvenience of a coupla noisy kids. The kids got to deal with a lifetime of being scarred by a superviolent movie in which people swap faces.

  51. 51

    Dennis - SGMM

    @binzinerator:
    It’s sad because that’s been Bush’s M.O. his whole life: take something on, fuck it up, and then walk away leaving someone else to clean up after him. He’s a sorry human being because, in his last chance to shine, he’s walking away again.

  52. 52

    Rosali

    The shoes are bad but I think the liquid ban is worse especially since I’ve read that the liquid explosive plot is virtually impossible to pull off. I got pulled aside so that they could conduct a test on the unopened bottle of milk that I was carrying. They were visibly relieved when I gave my 2 y.o. some to drink while we were standing there. I can’t imagine the amount of liquor, wine, shampoo, and perfume that was wasted because of this foolishness.

  53. 53

    Delia

    After we have our footwear liberated, may we look forward to freedom for our water bottles, cups of coffee, and assorted containers of hair gel, hand lotion, and lipstick? I swear, none of these items will explode, not even if some idiot mixes them all together.

  54. 54

    JL

    @binzinerator: The stock market acted the same way during the President-elect’s news conference. When Obama said there was only one President at a time the market went down. The market was hoping that Obama would say that the U-Haul is at the White House moving Bush out.

  55. 55

    Laura W

    @binzinerator:

    After George Bush is no longer president I am looking forward to not feeling the need to say ‘fuck’ so much.

    I was about to say: WORD and get all self-righteous on my own ass, but then I remembered that "Fuck", in all of its many derivations and applications, has always been my favorite word, even B.W.

    I will say that it will be lovely to not be so tense and angry. I went to the local Food Lion grocery today, and fuck if I did not see a gazillion Obama/Biden bumper stickers in the parking lot. And even more in the lot in front of the local health food store. I found myself smiling at everyone I saw, just assuming they were pro-Obama. Palpable joy and relief in the air here in Western NC. Everyone is softer and kinder, especially me. And I gave a couple bucks to the sweet old Lions man with the bucket in front of the market. I asked him what they do with the money and he said: "Buy white canes for people who can’t see", and, well, how sweet is that? And for how many years have we all equated the Lions with vision impairment anyway? And how much would it totally SUCK to not have your vision, anyway? And these older gentlemen, in their 70s, are still out there in their caps and white shirts, holding the sawed-off bleach bottles for donations. It ain’t exactly ground organizing a la Plouffe, but it’s sweet and donation-worthy nonetheless.

    And you know what he said to me after I plunked a couple singles in his sawed off bleach bucket? "Thank you for great your smile. That is worth even more."
    Wow. Made my whole fucking day.
    I plan to smile a lot more.

  56. 56

    jerry 101

    Stupid security theater bullcrap.

    No real improvements in security (besides securing the cockpit doors). But lots of worthless security theater. Schneier on Security has documented how simple it is for a relatively intelligent and fairly determined person to bypass all the new security measures.

    Take a bottle of saline solution (and get the biggest bottle you can find) and empty it, then fill it with Whiskey (or moonshine). You’ll waltz straight through. They won’t bother with a big bottle of saline solution for a second.

  57. 57

    Comrade Scrutinizer

    That bit between Buchanan and O’Donnell was over the top. Swear to God, David Gregory is a tool, but Mika is fucking useless. She totally lost control of that segment. I don’t know who was screaming in Pat and Larry’s ears to cut the shit, but I wish I could have listened in to the director’s loop while that was going on.

  58. 58

    JL

    @Laura W: Oh my goodness, that is the same feeling that I had in my conservative area. I picked up the NYTimes at my local Whole Foods today and they said at opening Wednesday there was a line to get in to buy the NYTimes. They also said that the Sunday’s paper is suppose to be really good. The clerks must have been unleashed because when they saw that i had the paper they just talked about how they were looking forward to inauguration. In the parking lot I saw a great Obama sticker and commented on it to the owner, and after making sure that I would not stone the car, we had a great conversation. We are still a tad skittish down here.

  59. 59

    Laura W

    @Comrade Scrutinizer:

    David Gregory is a tool, but Mika is fucking useless.

    WORD.
    Mika-free and breathing to brag about it for 61.24 hours.
    (But how about NC, huh? Huh?)

  60. 60

    bago

    If you want to fly, fly virgin. Totally smooth polished high tech outfit with no lines.

  61. 61

    stickler

    Oh, no, not so fast:

    George W. Bush has given up even trying to be president. Fucking useless assholes in the White House.

    Bullshit. He’s just given up on the tough part of Preznitating. I guaran-damn-tee you that the Bush team of super patriots is scheming to pass a whole raft of nefarious executive orders, pardons, and sweetheart deals that will be impossible to undo. All as quietly as possible, all just before Team Not Insane takes over on January 20th. There was a story last week about Bush preparing to issue orders lifting a bunch of environmental safeguards in time for the new year.

    At this point, I’ll just be happy if we don’t all have arsenic in our tap water by January 15th, and radioactive sewage in our Twinkies by the 19th. I only WISH that Preznit Chucklenuts was taking off early.

  62. 62

    JL

    @stickler: Bush is just happy that his legacy is that he screwed up so badly that a black american has to clean up and that he will.

  63. 63

    Comrade Scrutinizer

    @Laura W:

    The word is breathless. I figured Perdue would win (we don’t, as a rule, elect Republican governors), and I was hopeful about Hagen (turning Jesse Helm’s old seat blue == win), but I didn’t really think we’d go for Obama. We may have Bob Barr to thank for that, looking at the totals.
     
    I was shocked to see Buncombe go for Obama—-Asheville usually votes Dem, but the county screws it up. And what was up with Watauga and Jackson counties?

  64. 64

    Jen R

    I bet more collective man-hours are lost to this one man than anyone else who has ever lived.

    I bet the Tylenol poisoner has him beat.

  65. 65

    phein

    Schecky:

    All Al Qaeda has to do is come up with an underwear bomb, and air travel will come to a complete halt.

    I think there are lines that even my fellow business travelers will not cross or stand in.

  66. 66

    Laura W

    @Comrade Scrutinizer: Well, I’m in Transylvania, very close to Jackson. And I go up and through Jackson a lot since moving here two years ago. And I have nothing but my own anecdotal field research to go on here, but over the last few seasons, I was peddling my art at outdoor shows. I started to network with other artists (and you know how flakey and liberal and gay most of us/them are.) And man…the momentum was ferocious. The more shows I attended, the more the Obama support came up. (Of course, I had an Obama mirror, an Obama frame, and other subtle "talking point" props in my booth to spur the conversation, granted.) I mean, I would start talking about him with the most unexpected people…like an older white man who made a crack about me liking my coffee "strong and dark" at a show as we were both getting cups and me saying: "I’m voting for Obama, don’t start with me" and us becoming total comrades the whole weekend as he, too, was a supporter. Multiply that by 100 and that was just my little microcosmic experience here in my area.

    The funny thing (to me, being new to this area) was how ferocious all of the volunteers I met were, and how open and candid and fearless, even though we sit in this previously blood-red, chalk white, upper income area. And how the Obama bumper stickers in my county alone outnumbered McShame/Failin’ 10/1.

    Anyway…it’s over. We won. I have to get back to Dexter before I totally forget the plot line. Cheers!

    But the urban counties tell only part of the story. Obama won a narrow victory in Jackson County, deep in the heart of the Mountains, where George W. Bush won in 2004. He sure as heck didn’t do that by bringing out the black vote in a county that’s less than 2% African American.

  67. 67

    MikeJ

    After we have our footwear liberated, may we look forward to freedom for our water bottles, cups of coffee, and assorted containers of hair gel, hand lotion, and lipstick?

    My prediction: TSA insists on proctoscopes before boarding plane. President Obama says, "fuck no". Someone on the ground with a shoulder launched missile brings down a plane. Goopers scream that Obama caused downing.

  68. 68
  69. 69

    JL

    New topic… Obama called Nancy Reagan and apoligized for saying that he did not talk to dead folks like Nancy. I actually doubt that is what he said but I’m not a fly on the wall.

  70. 70

    lethargytartare

    @jenniebee:

    Speaking of more skin than you had expected, From 52 to 48 with love. Go all the way through.

    that site would be cuter if I hadn’t had to deal with the 48ers for my entire electoral life.

    also, it’d be cuter if the name made any sense, what with the actual pop. vote margin being 52.6 to 46.2 and growing…

    pedantic? sure, but I’ve been planning to be a sore winner for a good long while now.

  71. 71

    Zuzu's Petals

    @John:

    I guess it’s still an issue:

    Great and lively debate here on shoes. As added fodders, here are two pictures of an altered pair of shoes our officers discovered last year in Alaska.

    Yes, we find stuff like this all the time and yes our intel folks tell us terrorists are still interested in using shoes as (improvised explosive devices) IEDs or to hide components.

    TSA blog

  72. 72

    gex

    @Xecky Gilchrist: Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner. The go to person on real security measures vs. security theater is Bruce Schneier. I highly recommend reading him for some of the smartest thinking and best common sense on the topic.

  73. 73

    gex

    @Delia:

    I swear, none of these items will explode, not even if some idiot mixes them all together.

    Such as the TSA who originally started out dumping all this shit together in the same receptacles…

  74. 74

    Zuzu's Petals

    @Laura W:

    Hi Laura. I know what you mean. It’s nice to wake up the day after an election in a good mood.

    Ohio was really inspiring, by the way.

  75. 75

    gex

    I bet more collective man-hours are lost to this one man than anyone else who has ever lived.

    Oh come now. W has to have this, hands down. Tell me, how much time do YOU spend on this and other blogs?

  76. 76

    JWW

    John,

    Just from comment #1 (most useless human beings)!!

    I find you think think of most people you encounter. Your followers(most of them, the asses that they are) most likely feel the same way.

    Well that really is so sad. Being that at one point and time you were you were the same POS to your peers. Don’t doubt, your personal file for those that worked with you would read the same(USELESS). Oh, I needed to add, those in the military that served with you would think so.

  77. 77

    Laura W

    @Zuzu’s Petals: I’ve been thinking about you and your experience.
    Is there a forum in which you can share some of it at length for us?

  78. 78

    Laura W

    John!
    Just from comment #76, stop think thinking of us!
    I would try to parse and snark the rest of it into something witty, but frankly, I’m too tired and too +. Plus, I’m dedicated to smiling more and being all soft and fuzzy in my life.
    Surely someone here will take the torch and run with the flame.
    Asses that we are.
    (Why do the troops hate you?)

  79. 79

    JWW

    John,

    Did I get careless? I shoud watch my words thust I be banned.

    You really love to belittle, not those in your audience, just those outside of it. You love too place blame but none of your doing. You like too chide, but not of your readers.

    You are a very hateful person, but you love your pets. You love, boast, and send us pictures of your pets. Why? They are your pets, to be commaned, obedient, and serving. The same as you were when I met you. Bad thing was, I was your superior.

    Why don’t you own up? At some point and time I will.

  80. 80

    Delia

    @stickler:

    Indeed. I learned tonight from KO and Rachel that our Preznit is trying to give away mineral leases for uranium mining within three miles of the Grand Canyon (and thus the Colorado River). Were this cunning plan to succeed, the drinking water of Phoenix, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles could become radioactive. On the upside, Lake Mead would start giving off a nice green glow and residents of the greater Las Vegas area could go water skiing at night. Hell, once Yucca Mountain goes into full operation, Las Vegas won’t need any outside lighting at all. Radioactive glow will take care of everything.

  81. 81

    AnneLaurie

    I had to fly through Orlando last January, and the counterstaff – versus – TSA tension was already at the level where people stop leaving their lunches in the joint kitchen for fear of… adulteration. Can’t imagine the ensuing economic crisis has made things any more pleasant, especially for us hapless cattle condemned to shuffle shoeless and unjacketed, with our IDs clenched in our teeth so we have one hand free to play laptop roulette and the other to juggle our TSA-approved toiletry kits.

    Although my personal Least Favorite Airport Moment remains the early-morning flight, on my way home from a good friend’s deathbed, when I was one of three lucky middle-aged ladies pulled aside for the "random" personalized search… while a guy with a Saudi Air bag accompanied by no fewer than six (presumably) women in full-facial-screen hijab swept grandly through the Special Class entry without so much as an ID flash. I know in my progressive heart that profiling is wrong, but at that particular moment I was half-hoping the entourage would turn out to be carrying… well, not bombs, but at least a few kilos of interdicted chemical recreation. And a fruit-fly-infested sack lunch.

  82. 82

    Xenos

    @gex: Blog reading is not a time waster. It has kept me sane, and is cheaper than meds and more efficient than talk therapy.

    And I am spending less time online as the week progresses, which is a good thing.

  83. 83

    Punchy

    Cole’s dad is posting comments again.
    As fer shoes…about the only type big enough to pack explosives would be Moon Boots.

  84. 84

    Comrade Scrutinizer

    Listening to all this Palin crap, and wondering, "Where the hell is McCain in the middle of all this?" Nary a word since the election. You’d think that he’d say—-something.

  85. 85

    Zuzu's Petals

    @Laura W:

    Well, I can sum up the big stuff in a post or two. I imagine plenty of folks have inspiring volunteer stories too…maybe John will put up a thread just for those.

    The organization of the Obama campaign was truly awesome. E-mails, phone calls, and text messages with info six ways from Sunday. High enthusiasm at the local hdqtrs, junk food galore per usual.

    There were about 250 other lawyers at my training session, one of several for Franklin County. Did I already mention that Cam Kerry – John’s brother – spoke? He’d been in the state for awhile…saw him at hdqtrs that night sitting behind a laptop with the rest of the volunteers amid all the old coffee cups, etc. ... a really unpretentious guy. Anyway, he had nothing but praise for the ground operation in Ohio, said how an early start on the ground might have turned the tide in 2004 … it had to be bittersweet for him. I shook his hand afterward and said I’d felt privileged to vote for his brother, and he seemed genuinely touched.

    The next day, Monday, I did neighborhood canvassing for GOTV, and again, the organization paid off … they’d already removed the names of people who’d voted early off the list so we didn’t waste time hanging stuff on their doorknobs. They did the same thing all through election day too, by the way.

  86. 86

    AnneLaurie

    Ohio was really inspiring, by the way.

    Zuzu, I’m glad to hear that. How’s your elderly cat doing?

  87. 87

    Comrade Scrutinizer

    @JWW:
    That man-crush thing not working out for you, JWW?

  88. 88

    Zuzu's Petals

    @Zuzu’s Petals:

    Crap. Both paragraphs were supposed to be in blockquotes.

    I really don’t find shoes with wires in them all the time.

  89. 89

    Xenos

    JWW: it is Balloon-Juice tradition that you post the number of drinks you have had after your message. I don’t know how many you have had tonight, but you are reading like a poor sap who has had so much juice that you are calling up your ex-girlfriends to ask if they have grown up enough to realize what a great guy you really were all along.

    This is making me sad. Go to bed, buddy. Take some aspirin and a big glass of water, K?

  90. 90

    Zuzu's Petals

    @Laura W:

    Part 2:

    I got a wake up call from John Kerry on election day. Literally. He – okay, his recorded voice – informed me how important my poll observing work was to the success of the election, reminding me that he lost Ohio, and thus the Presidency, by only X number of votes (sorry, forgot). I told you these guys were organized.

    My assigned precincts were combined at one polling place – a church in a quiet part of Columbus.

    The polls opened at 6:30 am, and per instructions, I arrived at 5:45, met up with the inside observer (I had to stay outside as a nonresident), and got set up. It was still dark, but people were already arriving to vote. By the time the polls opened, there was a line of about 100 citizens politely waiting to vote.

    If you ever want to be truly inspired, volunteer at polling place. The effort that people make to exercise their right to vote is … well, inspiring.

    After the initial morning rush, things trickled along during the day. It seems a lot of people voted days earlier to avoid problems…and those were the long, long, lines.

    The other almost eerily quiet thing about day was the absence of McCain operatives or volunteers. No observers at my polling place or at any I heard of in the area. Thinking of the pics of the empty campaign offices displayed over at fivethirtyeight.com, I wonder…were they really so discouraged so early on?

  91. 91

    Krista

    A guy who doesn’t know the difference between "to" and "too", and he’s claiming to be John’s superior?

    That’s rich.

  92. 92

    Comrade Stuck

    @Delia:

    On the upside, Lake Mead would start giving off a nice green glow and residents of the greater Las Vegas area could go water skiing at night.

    Think of the new mutant fish species the econut Bush would spawn with his bright idea. Some might even grow legs and walk right into the Grocery stores. Wouldn’t have to worry about killing babies from abortion since women would become sterile. And the lighting like you say would be simply radiating. Win Win for new food supplies, alternative energy and Fundie fetus love.

  93. 93

    Delia

    @JWW:

    You just didn’t get to the real question. Did John steal the strawberries?

  94. 94

    tripletee

    @Xenos:

    This is making me sad. Go to bed, buddy. Take some aspirin and a big glass of water STFU, K?

    Fixed. Besides, I don’t think water and aspirin can do anything for a meth bender anyway.

  95. 95

    Zuzu's Petals

    @Laura W:

    Part 3:

    A few anecdotes.

    It was such a great feeling helping people vote. One young African American woman came out looking totally beaten up. She’d been told she couldn’t vote even though her name was in the registry book, because she didn’t have the right kind of ID. We encouraged her to insist on her right to vote at least with a provisional ballot, and also explained what other sorts of IDs would work for her. She got her friend to drive her home home and back with an acceptable ID and went in and voted, totally psyched and empowered. Walked out doing a little fist pump.

    Many brought their children with them . One young African American family – pregnant mother, father, little boy – brought a camera to document the day. I took their picture together, and was so moved to think that they will be showing their children the day they voted for Obama.

    The polls closed at exactly 7:30. If you are in line at 7:30 you can vote, but if you arrive a minute later you can’t.

    At exactly 7:29 a van pulled up in the dark parking lot, and a young African American woman in her nurse’s aide uniform jumped out and RAN across the lot and into the building, through the lobby, down the stairs, and through the long twisty, turning hallway. The polling judge closing the building doors hadn’t even seen her, didn’t think she’d have time to make it, but ….oh, she did! When I went down and peeked into the polling place, there she was, being shown how to work the machine. I can’t tell you how thrilled I was … and the look on her face when she came out after voting ! ! ! !

    It was a glorious day.

  96. 96

    eastriver

    1) Rude.
    2) Screwed.
    3) Lewd.

  97. 97

    Zuzu's Petals

    @AnneLaurie:

    Hey hi, thanks for asking.

    Well, I took the old fella in and had the tests run. Kidney functions are okay, a little low but okay. Vet suggested maybe getting him his very own litter box and see if he’s more inclined to cooperate.

    Interestingly, when I told her how he’d peed on the wires under my computer, she said that’s not so uncommon for cats. They don’t know why they do that, maybe something about the electromagnetic currents or something, but not as weird as I’d thought.

    Anyway, thanks so much for your concern and your good tips.

  98. 98

    Jeff

    Does Palin still not get that there is no country named Africa:

    “So, no, I think that if there are allegations based on questions or comments that I made in debate prep about Nafta, and about the continent versus the country when we talk about Africa there, then those were taken out of context,” Ms. Palin said. “And that’s cruel and it’s mean-spirited, it’s immature, it’s unprofessional, and those guys are jerks, if they came away with it taking things out of context and then tried to spread something on national news. It is not fair and not right.”

    I’m really not sure whether I am reading that correctly.

  99. 99

    Conservatively Liberal

    Zack and Miri don’t interest me in the least, not with all of the free pron on the intertubez. ; )

    Pulled out the motorcycle and rode up to Coos Bay and back today. A friend who came over from North Carolina to visit his son and his family in Salem, so we decided to meet in CB and have dinner together. He is retired and has a lot of time to run around now, so we figured what the hey…lol

    He is a Republican, well, make that was a Republican. He re-registered as an independent a few weeks ago. He lives in the middle of ‘fundie country’, as he calls it, but he is not a so-con but rather a fiscal con. Talk eventually turned to politics but I wasn’t going to be the one to ask who he voted for. No need to worry, he volunteered that he voted for Obama and told me about re-registering as an independent. I asked him why (now that I safely can ask…lol) Obama and he said that it was no contest.

    He said that McCain was "unstable", "all over the place" and that Palin was a "fucking joke". He also said that Obama impressed him as someone who would try to work towards the center but would stand his ground and not be pushed around by the fundie branch of the right. He was also proud that NC went for Obama and that his neighbors were not the ones in NC who voted for Obama…lol

    We talked about the campaign and everything that surrounded it. None of the Wright stuff or other crap bothered him a bit, in fact he said that he was impressed with the way Obama handled everything that was thrown at him. We both agreed that if it was us who were dealing with what he was, we both would have lost it long ago.

    He was a lifelong Republican but he said that he is not going to register as one again, at least not until the crazies are thrown out. I told him ‘good luck with that’...lol

    But it was a nice ride, temps in the low 70’s and the one nice day between fall storms just had to be taken advantage of. My doc would kill me (taking meds for a lung infection from my cold), but I did dress warm! : )

  100. 100

    kommrade jakevich

    and about the continent versus the country when we talk about Africa there,

    ?!?

    My friends, we dodged a bullet.

    And I don’t mean a bring home the moose burger bullet, either. I mean a knock the Hubble Telescope out of orbit bullet. Yikes.

  101. 101

    Delia

    @Jeff:

    You know, I used to teach World Civilizations at a state university. The answers that Palin gave in her interviews with Gibson and Couric (and here, for that, matter) are exactly the same sort of thing I would get in essay exams from students who had not bothered to open a book or show up to class the entire semester but still thought they could bullshit their way through the final. Pure word salad. And to those people who are skeptical that an adult with a BA could be unaware that Africa is a continent, I say, "You have not discussed geography with an average college freshman lately." Or read this word jumble of Palin’s, either. She doesn’t know and doesn’t see why she should know. That’s what she’s saying.

  102. 102

    stickler

    Conservatively Liberal nails it (or his friend does).

    Obama appealed to the "non-wingnut" vote. That includes a hell of a lot of voters, many of whom might have been tempted to vote GOP this year … but Bible Spice and Johnny Danger (and George W. "Now Watch This Drive" Bush) pissed ‘em off too much to get their vote.

    I know quite a few of these voters. I was one of them (in 2004 already, as it happens).

  103. 103

    Brian J

    George W. Bush has given up even trying to be president. Fucking useless assholes in the White House. That stupid immature spoiled little boy now wants someone to 1) Do his fucking job for him, 2) Make everything all better, 3) Share the blame for his fuckups.

    If this is a move to pass the blame off to Obama as soon as possible, then yes, fuck him. But perhaps, just perhaps, he realizes that by making the next guy’s job as easy as possible, or at least getting the small stuff out of the way so he can govern from the beginning, he’s helping the country. Perhaps he realizes that by essentially giving up, he’s doing what’s best, because he’s not likely to be effective for what little time he has left.

    Or maybe I am just being too nice today.

  104. 104

    Allan

    I’m guessing you’ve never flown American Airlines through JFK.

    Oh, right, you said useless, not malevolently evil Nazi stormtroopers exploiting their power over travelers, sort of like Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS if she came from Jamaica.

  105. 105

    AnneLaurie

    Zuzu, that’s very good news!

    Changing topics, sorta… I hope the Obamas stay smart and resist the ‘goldendoodle’ scam. It’s true that most shelter puppies are "mutts", but at least 25% of all dogs surrendered to shelters are AKC-certifiable purebreds, and there are plenty of rescue networks who’d be very happy to find a low-allergen puppy for Sasha & Melia. I don’t want to be a breed snob (my own dogs are ‘purebred’ rescues) but any White House dog immediately becomes the new Hot Celebrity Accessory, and most shelters already have a steady supply of impulse-purchase ‘goldendoodles’ discarded for not being Furbys!

  106. 106

    binzinerator

    @stickler:

    Bullshit. He’s just given up on the tough part of Preznitating.

    Of course. It’s like giving up being a husband but you are always there for the part involving sex. Fucking FAIL.

    It’s the tough part of the job that holds the real meaning.

  107. 107

    binzinerator

    @Brian J:

    If this is a move to pass the blame off to Obama as soon as possible, then yes, fuck him. But perhaps, just perhaps, he realizes that by making the next guy’s job as easy as possible, or at least getting the small stuff out of the way so he can govern from the beginning, he’s helping the country. Perhaps he realizes that by essentially giving up, he’s doing what’s best, because he’s not likely to be effective for what little time he has left.

    Or maybe I am just being too nice today.

    Today you are not being too nice you are being foolish.

    You’re making excuses for what is inexcusable. You are trying to explain the laziness and the irresponsibility and the cowardice as some kind of noble sacrifice. You are making Stockholm-syndrome level of explanations to exonerate the guilty.

    Please stop it.

  108. 108

    Zuzu's Petals

    @AnneLaurie:

    Interesting.

  109. 109

    binzinerator

    By the way Brian J., I don’t think you are a foolish person. You’ve posted a number of times here and I don’t think of you as a foolish commenter.

    We both damn well know George W. Bush’s "doing what’s best" has nothing to do with what’s best for the country and the people in it, and has everything to do with what’s best for George W. Bush.

    Please reconsider. I was foolish thinking that Bush would show any more class in leaving his office than he did in holding it. I think in retrospect you may find you were mistaken too.

  110. 110

    stickler

    Binzinerator sounds a bit harsh (quick look: is my wife typing at the laptop?).

    But she’s right. Trusting 43 is a bad idea. He’s had 8 years to prove his honesty. He pissed his credibility away.

    Be vigilant, citizens! Bush the Lesser will try to fool you!

  111. 111

    ksmiami

    Speaking of bullet dodging – did anyone see Palin’s return presser? I saw clips on olbermann and Holy fucking shit!

  112. 112

    Denise Kinsey

    I’m sorry Sarah Palin but I am happy to see you go back to Alaska. Maybe now you can consider your law about Wolf and Polar Bear Ariel Hunting. Don’t you realize that you are exterminating our wildlife and you have the power to stop this inhumane act of cruelty?
    It’s okay to hunt for food, or shoot an animal to save you or your loved ones from harm, but not to exterminate them just because!!
    Please take this under advisement for I believe alot of the reason why you lost was because of this very issue. There are alot of people who believe in preserving our wildlife not extinct them.
    A wolf and Wolf-dog rescuer and animal lover,
    Denise Kinsey

  113. 113

    Laura W

    @Zuzu’s Petals: Thanks for posting that, ZuZu. So interesting to me. And either I wasn’t paying attention or it all pretty much went of "well" in terms of lack of drama. So far.
    That’s a memory that’ll last for a lifetime, or 12.

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