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My friend's grandmother had a blast. She enjoyed the movie, especially the love story, and she liked looking at all the costumes and props from a period of time that she kind of remembered. Smart money says she remembered them from "The Love Boat," but let's not quibble. She's old; she must like parasols and hats with feathers. So, my Sister and I were inspired to take our Mom to see "Titanic " for the solstice. It was kind of a big deal. We had some nurses at the house who could look out for my Dad, and Sister and I worked together to help my Mom negotiate all the stairs and inclines that my middle-aged legs don't notice yet. I come from kind of a strange family (surprised?). My Sister Valda and I are full siblings, but we're 23 years apart, and we're the only two offspring. Sister is 23 years older than I am. She and my Mom have the same first name and neither uses a nickname. (And I have a made-up girl's name -- I told you it was a strange family.) It seems odd that Mom and Dad would plan two kids 23 years apart, but ... well, they sure acted like they wanted me around. I'm 42 and my Mom was 45 when I was born. (Does this seem as if I'm setting up practice word problems for grade school arithmetic? "How old is Penn's Sister?" "How old is Penn's Mom?") Anyway, it was two retired women and me at a matinee in my hometown. My Mom was only 3 years old when the Titanic went down (see, if you’d figured out my Mom's age above, you wouldn't have to click on the link to get the year, you could figure it out. Isn't arithmetic wonderful?), but, you know, things didn't change that quickly back then. I mean, hit musicals lasted years. What we're all expecting is that when the old woman in "Titanic" starts talking, my Mom is going to identify with her, lean over and whisper to me, "You know, I had a brooch like that," and off we'd go, bonding over this movie. Yeah, sure. She has as much in common with this old woman actor as I do with Don Johnson (and all four of us are grateful). When you're coming up on your 10th decade, it takes more than age to make you relate. As I waited for the "brooch" comment, she leaned over and said, "Who wants to see an old lady in a movie? Who wants to see that? Let's see some young, attractive people. That's why I come to the movies." Well, I knew young, attractive people were just a flashback away, so I didn't sweat. Leonardo DiCaprio lit up the screen and I thought he was way attractive. "What do you think of him, Mom?" "I’m waiting for the
leading man." When it got really mushy, my Mom started snoozing. "Wake me up when it starts sinking," she whispered. Near the end of the movie, the two 12-year-olds (my Mom's POV is staying with me), are pledging to love each other forever and ever and ever while freezing in the cold water. (Am I ruining the movie for you? No. You know the boat sinks and everything else in the movie is more predictable than that.) Even big guys can be romantic and I was crying a little then I looked over at my Mom. She looked back at me and rolled her eyes, "Oh, that water seems cold. My legs are cold just looking at it." We left the theater and my Mom was talking about how good it felt to get out of the house. I thought I'd open up the discussion of the romance. My Sister said, "Yeah, that leading kid was very cute, very nice looking, but I like movies where there's a real leading man -- give me Mel Gibson." And my Mom said, "I'm still waiting for the leading man in that movie." Back at the house, I asked her, "So, What did you think of the movie, Mom?" "Well, you know how much I like the water. I hate the water. I would have never gone on that thing. I can't swim and I hate the cold. Ehh. I liked watching it sink though. I wish it had blown up more." "What about the love story?" "Yeah, it's always 12-year-olds that talk about loving someone forever. You don't see old people talking about eternal love. I've been married to your father for 66 years. Sixty-six years and sometimes it seems like one hundred and sixty-six years. It's always 12-year-olds that talk about love that lasts forever." We all looked over at my Dad. This is the no-kidding "sickness" part of their wedding vows. This is love that lasts forever. It's easy to love someone forever with whom you‘ve danced a couple of literal and euphemistic jigs in your teens. My Mom and Dad have the kind of love that's really hard work. They didn't run through freezing water for each other, they gave their lives to each other. My Mom and Dad are a love story -- the movie was just special effects. My Mom has true love. What she needs from Hollywood is more cool things blowing up ... and maybe a sexy leading man. |
A friend just wrote to
me about taking his grandmother to see "