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The
Radical Right, the Myth of the Gay Child Abuser and You
By CAROL NORRIS
As soon as the Foley story broke, I
knew it was just a matter of time. Sure enough, The People for
the American Way reported that Tony Perkins, of the Family Research
Council, said the real concern about Foley's sexual predatory
behavior toward an underage congressional page is "the link
between homosexuality and child sexual abuse." Not just
Perkins, many other right wing mouthpieces are disgorging similar
rhetoric.
The radical right, at the helm of its mighty cutter boat, the
U.S.S. Wedge Issue, is chipping and tacking its way through the
towns and psyches of our country yet again. I'd yawn at such
a hackneyed conflation - homosexuality equals child sexual abuse
- but those guys'll take advantage of any opening they can get
and I feel sure they'd ram the bow of their boat right through
my mouth on its way to the voting booths in November. Besides,
I know that cutter can do some serious damage.
Perkins goes on to say that ignoring the "homosexuality
issue" got the Catholic Church in trouble and now it's getting
the House GOPs in a big mess.
He's right. Ignoring issues is dangerous. I'm a psychotherapist
who has worked with child sexual abusers, as well as many, many
child sexual abuse survivors. I'm legally mandated to report
any child abuse, be it sexual, physical, emotional maltreatment
or neglect. I don't have to know for sure, I just need
to have a reasonable suspicion. And I only have 36 hours
after I suspect or find out to report it. It's serious
business. One that no therapist worth her license could legally,
ethically or morally fathom ignoring.
But hoping we're too busy wrapping plastic wrap and duct tape
around our children to protect them from the homosexual menace
and terrorist threats to notice, ignoring is precisely what Perkins
and the right wing crew are doing. They're ignoring the child
abuse that's happening repeatedly in Congressional chambers and
corporate board rooms. The abuse happens via the laws that are
passed allowing corporations to poison the air and water and
food we expect our children and their children to breathe, drink
and eat. It happens when our leaders allow our corporations
to come into our schools and sell our children unhealthy soft
drinks and junk food as they suppress studies that show how harmful
much of our processed foods are. It happens when advertisers
are allowed to inundate our children with endless ads teaching
them to want more, more, more, rather than letting them know
they are inherently enough already, helping them grow into psychologically
secure adults. It happens when we take away school lunch
programs for the poor, when we make it harder and harder for
our children to get student loans, and when we take away the
workplace rights of parents, making it more and more difficult
for them to provide for their children. And our current occupations
have wreaked untold physical, psychological and emotional abuse
on an entire generation of Afghan and Iraqi children, breeding
fear and hatred and hopelessness.
Bill by bill, law by law, it seems our leaders are well-practiced
at ignoring child abuse. Why would the sexual abuse of a congressional
page be any different? Because somehow it is. Little else stirs
such a deep chord of moral outrage within us, pulling at our
instincts to protect our children, as when we think of an adult
sexually abusing a child. And while Hastert et al. are not legally
mandated to report child sexual abuse, that they could know--or
reasonably suspect such an egregious violation was happening
in their place of work--and not take steps to protect the victims
is remarkable. That they didn't feel a moral mandate their consciences
wouldn't allow them to ignore and impel them to intervene speaks
volumes about their priorities and their motivations, as well
as their fears.
Were I the parent or a loved one of one the pages, I would feel
outraged and betrayed. Being a citizen who demands that my leaders
step into their humanity and beyond self-interested politics
when an issue as serious as this begs for it, I feel outraged
and betrayed, yet not surprised. And, I'd be writing these same
words were it a Democrat who allegedly perpetrated this abuse.
Our children's safety and well-being are not the stuff of a political
match. Ever.
Let's get some child abuse facts straight.
Child sexual abuse (and sexual
abuse in general) usually has nothing to do with sex, but with
power and control.
Child sexual abuse takes many
forms and is not just about touch and penetration. You don't
have to be in the same room with a child to sexually abuse him
or her. Whether it is cyber, verbal or physical, it's serious
and should be taken seriously. You can't possibly pretend to
know how an email exchange from an older, more powerful adult
will impact each kid.
Adolescents, even if on the
cusp of stepping into their sexual selves or if already there,
can be profoundly psychologically impacted by sexual abuse. Same
with adults.
Child sexual abuse cuts across
all strata of the population.
Having said that, studies show that men sexually abuse children
more then women andmost child sexual abuse is perpetrated
by straight, not gay, men.
The majority of child sexual
abuse happens not by the stranger on the street your mother tells
you not to talk to, but by someone you know--a trusted family
member, a neighbor, a congressman down the hall.
Not only is the gay-man-as-child-abuser myth as worn and tired
as it is hateful and damaging, in this case it's such an obvious
attempt at, "Hey, look over there at the gay sex pervert
and not over here at the mechanisms that helped create the scandal
and at us who covered it up," it's almost pitiable.
The subject brings up many an offshoot issue that isn't within
the scope of this article. And, I haven't seen Foley in therapy,
of course, so I don't pretend to know the depths of his psyche.
But that isn't the issue. What matters is that we take Perkins'
advice and not ignore the "homosexuality issue."
Let's ask our congressional Democrats to take this opportunity
to speak out against gay stereotyping. Let's let them know that
we expect more of them than just seeing the Foley incident as
yet another Republican scandal set to help them in the upcoming
midterm elections.
Better yet, let's all of us: Independents, Democrats, Republicans,
Greens, teachers, preachers, parents, gays, straights, bisexuals,
you name its, and each person reading, seize this opportunity
ourselves as a teachable moment. Let's not ignore what they want
us to ignore. Let's take this occasion to speak out and say
that not only is the cover up and thus the aiding and abetting
of sexual abuse as wrong as the abuse itself, but let's talk
about the fact that Foley's actions are not so much the act of
a gay man, but the act of a troubled human being in a system
that actively discourages help and transparency. Let's all be
mouthpieces that say we're too smart to buy into such an insultingly
thinly-veiled, homophobic diversionary tactic. Let's talk
about how Congress and Perkins and the self-interested radical
right folks riding the choppy political waters on the U.S.S.
Wedge Issue are busily ignoring the real issues, and in so doing
not only gay men, but our children and each and every one of
us the world over are done inexcusable harm.
If you are a child being sexually
abused and need confidential help, call: National Child Abuse
Hotline: 800.422.4453. If you are an adult at risk for sexually
abusing a child, or a friend or family member of a sexual abuser
and need confidential help, call Stop It Now!: 888.773.8368
Carol Norris is a psychotherapist and freelance writer.
Her articles and thoughts can be found on her tragically moribund,
but one-day-soon to be resurrected blog: http://carolnorris.blogs.com
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