FADE IN: EXT. SPACE As we stare at thousands of stars, an unassuming voice presents itself. HEAT VISION (V.O.) My friend, Jack, says the universe is infinite, which means that it has no edge. We move down, coming to rest on... EXT. FRANK’S DINER - NIGHT The starry sky dwarfs a desert highway and truck stop. HEAT VISION (V.O.) But if the universe goes forever, aren’t we standing on the edge, right now? CUT TO: INT. FRANK’S DINER - KITCHEN The kitchen’s lone occupant, round, unshaven FRANK, wears an apron and paper hat. He finishes labeling a ziploc bag “LARD 9/28.” An OLD RADIO on the counter blares with the voice of a SPORTSCASTER. SPORTSCASTER (V.O.) -Now Johnson’s got it AND HE’S STILL GOING! Frank looks up, eager. FRANK Move, Johnson! Use both shoes! SPORTSCASTER (V.O.) He’s going all the way! He’s almost there! It looks like- -WEIRD STATIC interrupts the broadcast. It becomes an IRATE VOICE, cursing in a nonsense language. Frank shakes the radio in frustration. FRANK No! My favorite sporting event! The radio GLOWS GREEN. Alarmed, Frank backs away. He picks up his metal spatula and SMACKS at the radio with it. The GREEN GLOW shoots through the spatula and into his body. Frank flies backward out of frame. CUT TO: INT. FRANK’S DINER - DINING ROOM Closing time. PATRICE, waitress, puts a chair on a table. She calls out to Frank. PATRICE You can shut the grill off, Frank, I’m gonna start closing down. Frank swings the kitchen door open. He’s now wearing sunglasses. FOG rolls out from behind him. FRANK Your kind is a disease. You have infected this planet. She turns to face him. PATRICE Frank, don’t say that. FRANK I AM NO LONGER FRANK. PATRICE Who are you, then? FRANK The ape woman needs a label for everything. Call me PARAGON. Call me MASTER, you worthless, monkey whore. He moves forward. Patrice throws a ketchup squeeze bottle at him. Frank catches it in one hand and laughs at her. Patrice cowers backward into the the jukebox, which begins playing Third Eye Blind’s Semi-Charmed Kind. FRANK (cont’d) All monkey sluts shall be ABSORBED. Frank lowers his glasses. His EYES GLOW GREEN. The GLOW is reflected on Patrice’s face as she SCREAMS. PATRICE NOOOOOOO! FADE TO BLACK. [TITLE SEQUENCE: LAYERED SOUND AND IMAGES] -- A mission control voice: “Three, two, one.” A ROCKET BLASTS OFF. Deep, pounding music. -- JACK AUSTIN is in a pilot’s seat, reacting to the G- force with a raise of his eyebrow. NARRATOR (V.O.) Jack Austin, American astronaut. -- A three-sectioned screen shows images of a rocket soaring through space, Jack’s face and the BLAZING SUN. NARRATOR (cont’d) (V.O.) Exposed to inappropriate levels of solar energy. -- Computer graphics: A human brain EXPANDS. -- [part of the super intelligence sequence:] Jack screams beneath hundreds of exploding lightbulbs. JACK (V.O.) I...KNOW...EVERYTHING!!!! -- Jack is standing over a chess board, moving the white pieces with his left hand, the black pieces with his right, hitting the clocks with blinding speed. He seems bewildered by his own ability. SCIENTIST (V.O.) Sunlight makes him the world’s most intelligent man! -- RON SILVER is on a car phone. A voice from the other end says, “I want that brain taken out.” -- In a white, hospital-like hallway, Jack sees Ron Silver coming at him and runs away. -- Outside NASA, Jack runs through a door, followed by Ron. Ron shoots an evil-looking ray gun. Jack ducks. -- A blonde man (we don’t see his face) and the orange motorcycle on which he’s seated are ENGULFED in a blinding FLASH. -- Computer graphics: a motorcycle ABSORBS a human body. NARRATOR (V.O.) Heat Vision, a motorcycle with the mind of Jack’s unemployed roommate. -- Heat Vision’s console. The dial turns to IGNITION. The RPMs soar. -- Heat Vision pops a wheely. -- Far shot of Heat Vision and Jack moving toward one another, their silhouettes meeting in the center, against a gigantic SUN. NARRATOR (cont’d) (V.O.) Together, they must run for their lives, blocked at every turn by adventure. TITLE: HEAT VISION AND JACK -- Jack punches a werewolf across the face -- Jack makes out with a beautiful woman. -- Jack types on a computer keyboard in a dark office. The screen says “ACCESSING MAINFRAME.” -- Jack sword-fights with the Devil. -- Jack, naked, next to a GIGANTIC PENCIL. Realizing he’s been shrunken down, he looks at the pencil and SCREAMS. -- Jack stands in blackness, looking at us, smiling. TITLE: JACK BLACK as JACK AUSTIN -- Close on a motorcycle tire peeling rubber. -- Heat Vision pops a wheely and hits a fat chef in the head with his front tire. -- Two women kiss Heat on the sides of his headlamp. -- Heat Vision is parked in blackness. TITLE: OWEN WILSON as the voice of HEAT VISION -- A metal NASA door SPLITS down the middle, revealing Ron Silver. He marches forward as if he’s going to kill us. TITLE: RON SILVER as HIMSELF [For a few brief notes, the music gets plinky and light hearted as:] -- Jack and Heat Vision argue over a batch of burnt cookies- Jack is wearing a lead apron with a radioactive symbol on it. [The music turns hard and studly again:] -- Heat Vision jumps over a car- by himself! -- An explosion. -- Jack leaps over a stack of cardboard boxes, tackling a hood. -- Jack soars through the air toward us on Heat Vision, backlit by the humongous sun. FADE IN: EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY - NIGHT JACK speeds down the dark, open road. He’s wearing a blue NASA jumpsuit and yellow navigator shades. JACK Let me know when your tires start wearing down, Heat Vision. Whenever HEAT VISION, the motorcycle, speaks, his headlight BLINKS. HEAT VISION (V.O.) My wheels’ll are fine, Jack, but I’m starving. Jack looks down to the FUEL GAUGE. It’s nearing E. HEAT VISION (cont’d) (V.O.) Hey, remember when I was human, and we ran out of gas in Tijuana and we drank that cheap tequila and you woke up with a 72 year old woman? Jack squints ahead, trying to see the road. It’s strobed, due to Heat Vision’s excited speech. HEAT VISION (cont’d) (V.O.) And she followed us to the border and the police wouldn’t let you back into America until you kissed her in front of everybody- JACK -Be quiet. I can’t see when you talk. CUT TO: EXT. FRANK’S DINER - NIGHT The lights inside are out, but the sign says “OPEN.” Jack and Heat pull in. The cycle’s engine shuts off. JACK (cont’d) Now we can both fill up, uh? (beat) Who wants premium? Long pause. JACK (cont’D) Heat Vision? HEAT VISION (V.O.) I was asked to be quiet. CUT TO: INT. FRANK’S DINER - DINING ROOM Dark. Empty. As Jack enters, his eyebrow shoots up. Something’s amiss. The jukebox is skipping: “Doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo..” Jack walks to it and pulls the plug. Heat Vision rolls to the diner’s door and pushes halfway through with his front tire. HEAT VISION (V.O.) Listen, I don’t want to fight- Jack walks to a light switch and flips it. The place is trashed. Chairs have been scattered. The walls are covered with smeared, red writing: “I AM PARAGON”, “KNEEL BEFORE ME”, “YOUR MASTER HAS ARRIVED” and subtle variations. HEAT VISION (V.O.) Agh! What the (BLEEP) happened here? Is that blood? JACK (dismissive) The blood of tomatoes. Jack crouches by a small pile of ASH. He examines a pinch of it, sifting the powder through his fingers. A waitress’ pen is laying nearby. He picks it up. JACK (cont’d) Heat Vision: We’ve stumbled onto the scene of a very unusual crime. HEAT VISION (V.O.) We tend to do that, don’t we? CUT TO: INT. FRANK’S DINER - KITCHEN Jack enters through the swinging door and looks around. The grill is hot. The spatula is fused to the radio. SHERIFF (O.S.) FREEZE! From a back doorway, a beautiful SHERIFF has drawn her revolver. Jack raises his hands, turning on the charm. JACK You shouldn’t point those things at people. They’re dangerous. SHERIFF Only if I pull the trigger. JACK I wasn’t talking about the gun. SHERIFF Neither was I. They stand there a moment, confused by their own wit. CUT TO: EXT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT A HOOKER knocks on a door. FRANK opens it from the inside. He’s still wearing his apron and sunglasses. HOOKER You called for a date? FRANK Yes. Paragon will date you. She steps inside the room. The door closes. Through the curtained window, we see a green glow. The hooker SCREAMS. CUT TO: INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT The Sheriff closes the door on a jail cell. Jack is inside. JACK Where’s Heat Vision? SHERIFF Locked up, just like you, until you tell me who are you and where you’ve been. She folds her arms and sits on her desk, studying Jack in his cell. JACK Nobody ever believes me. SHERIFF Try me. JACK My name is Jack Austin. I was an astronaut. FLASH CUT TO: SPACE A retro-looking spacecraft soars through the cosmos. JACK looks out a porthole, smiling pleasantly. JACK (V.O.) On my last mission, an orbital mix-up brought me too close to the sun. Jack’s smile breaks into a look of shock as he sees- The almighty SUN. Jack clutches his head, screaming in agony. We cannot hear him from outside. BACK TO: INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT JACK As a result, I am now the most intelligent man alive. SHERIFF (leading him on) I didn’t know it worked like that. JACK Think of the human brain as raw dough. The sun is a giant oven. It caused my mind to rise and expand. SHERIFF You don’t seem so smart. JACK I need solar energy. At night, I’m no more intelligent than you. SHERIFF So, what happens when I get on that phone, and NASA tells me- Jack’s eyes bug out. He runs at the bars, startling her. JACK -NO! Never call NASA. They’ve already got a man tracking me down. A very, very dangerous man. FLASH CUT TO: INT. NASA HEADQUARTERS A metal door, bearing the NASA logo, splits open. RON SILVER marches toward us, threateningly. JACK (V.O.) His name is Ron Silver. Like me, a former astronaut, but also a gifted actor...and a cold blooded killer. BACK TO: INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT The Sheriff nods her head, pretending to mull this over. SHERIFF Ron Silver. Got it. Say, let me ask you a question, Jack. How “high” did your “rocket ship” take you before you got “totally baked?” Jack gives her a disappointed look. The phone rings. She chuckles as she stands and heads for it. CUT TO: EXT. FRANK’S DINER - NIGHT A dirty, cigar chomping MECHANIC bunjee cords Heat Vision to the bed of a pick-up truck (Heat facing the tailgate). HEAT VISION (V.O.) You’re taking me to jail, right? Jack and I have to stick together. The mechanic is startled. He taps the bike’s headlamp. MECHANIC What’ll those Koreans think of next? HEAT VISION (V.O.) (protesting) I was born in Iowa. MECHANIC Well, you’re gonna die in the junk yard. The mechanic laughs at himself- until Heat Vision ROARS to life. The rear tire SPINS, SMOKING. The bunjee cords SNAP as Heat REARS UP like an angry horse. The mechanic SCREAMS and dives aside. When he looks up, he sees- -Heat Vision racing down the desert highway! HEAT VISION (V.O.) (trailing off) You’re a very rude person! The mechanic gets to his feet and scratches his head through his hat, still chomping the cigar, impressed. MECHANIC (cont’d) I gotta quit inhaling spraypaint. CUT TO: INT. POLICE STATION - NIGHT The Sheriff is still talking on the phone. SHERIFF (cont’d) I’ll be right there. She hangs up and grabs her coat, looking at Jack. SHERIFF (cont’d) Were you at the Lazy Seven motel tonight? He shakes his head. JACK Is that where they found the next pile of ash? Be careful, Sheriff. Based on what I saw at that diner, I’d say “Paragon” is not of this world. SHERIFF (cont’d) Good thing I’ve got you around. JACK I won’t be here much longer. At sunrise, I’ll be so intelligent, no cell will be able to hold me. SHERIFF (smile) Careful on your way out. I hardly ever feed Gary. She nods to an unleashed German shepherd, laying in the corner. Sensing that it’s being looked at, Gary looks up and growls. The Sheriff walks out. Jack sits down on his cot, trying to think. HEAT VISION (O.S.) Psst! Pssst! He looks to his cell’s window, where Heat Vision’s blinking headlight can be seen. Jack smiles, relieved and runs to the window. JACK Heat Vision. You’ve got to help me. HEAT VISION (V.O.) I can’t get in there, man. Doorknobs, remember? Dejected, Jack looks past Heat to the horizon. The sky is streaked with orange. JACK Come on, you big ball of gas, light my darkest hour. HEAT VISION (V.O.) Okay. JACK Not you. CUT TO: INT. MOTEL ROOM Completely trashed, ash everywhere. “KNEEL BEFORE PARAGON” is written on the mirror in lipstick. The Sheriff is waiting for a DOCTOR to finish examining something under a microscope. DOCTOR This is very, very strange. These ashes are dehydrated human tissue. SHERIFF Are you saying someone removed the water from six missing prostitutes? DOCTOR That would be one theory. (bemused) If that technology existed outside of... comic books and rap music. RON SILVER (O.S.) Hi, there. RON SILVER, suit clad, stands in the doorway. He holds up a NASA ID. RON SILVER (cont’d) I need to ask a few questions. My name is Ron Silver. The Sheriff is shocked. The Doctor snaps three times and points at Ron. DOCTOR I just rented Timecop. You were the bad guy in Timecop. Ron gives the Doctor a warm smile and nod. RON SILVER Acting is one of my more enjoyable diversions. (severe) However, right now, what I’d really like to do is find a man named Jack Austin. He holds up a photo of Jack (Jack Black’s headshot) and smiles at the Sheriff. SHERIFF I...How exactly do you know Mr. Austin? RON SILVER He’s a test subject. We were researching the effects of zero gravity...On the mentally ill. (fighting impatience) Am I to take it you know where he is? Off the Sheriff’s look, we... CUT TO: INT. POLICE STATION Jack is standing in the middle of his cell, facing the window. He holds his arms out at his sides, waiting. A ray of sunlight shoots between the bars, terminating at Jack’s feet. The sun ray moves up to his feet, knees, crotch, chest, and .... We ZOOM into Jack’s eye as his face is washed with the dawn’s mighty kiss. CUT TO: TRADEMARK SUPER INTELLIGENCE SEQUENCE Physics diagrams, brain X-rays, Rodin’s The Thinker, An eclipse, a naked Jack, a LOT of light bulbs, but mostly “E=mc².” Jack’s distant inner voice can be heard, shouting: “I KNOW EVERYTHING!” BACK TO: INT. POLICE STATION A diabolical smile spreads across Jack’s face. He turns and looks at Gary the German shepherd through the bars. The dog growls. Jack pulls the ballpoint pen from his pocket and twists it apart. JACK (cont’d) German shepherd. Breed perfected in Germany, 1900. Distinguishing trait: obedience. Jack holds half the disassembled pen to his lips and carefully blows one high note. The shepherd bolts upright, ears perked. Jack blows another note. The dog wags its tail. Jack blows two different notes. The dog starts licking itself. Jack seems satisfied. JACK (cont’d) Listen carefully, Gary. I need you to- (blows into pen) -and then- (blows a succession of notes) Thanks. Gary goes to the wall, stands on his hind legs and grabs the keys with his mouth. He brings the keys to Jack, who uses them to unlock the cell. Gary growls at Jack. Jack blows a harsh note into the pen. Gary starts walking in a tight circle and doesn’t stop. CUT TO: EXT. POLICE STATION - MORNING Heat Vision is waiting outside the door, revving while saying, “vroom, vroom.” Jack runs out and leaps on. HEAT VISION (V.O.) Let’s blow this town, Jack. JACK Not yet. HEAT VISION (V.O.) What? You just broke out of jail! JACK Knowledge is power. Power takes action. There’s a paranormal evil in this town and I have to stop it from killing again. The bike sighs heavily, then peels into the distance. Shortly after, the Sheriff’s squad car pulls in. CUT TO: INT. POLICE STATION - MORNING The Sheriff walks in with Ron Silver. She’s laughing. RON SILVER How do Klingons board their spaceship? SHERIFF How? She stops laughing, looking around. RON SILVER They Klingon. What’s wrong? The empty cell’s door hangs open, keys in the lock. Gary the German shepherd is still spinning in circles. SHERIFF Gary? Gary stops spinning, then lays on his back, moaning. SHERIFF (cont’d) He escaped. Ron walks into the station, looking around. The pleasant smile melts from his face. RON SILVER Did he say which way he’d be heading? East? West? (yelling) NORTH? SOUTH? HUH? ARAGH! He KICKS her desk ACROSS the room. The Sheriff becomes alarmed. SHERIFF Ron, take it easy. He whirls and points at her. RON SILVER No, YOU take it easy, MA’AM. Honey. You just sicked a very dangerous man on the world. He heads for the door. SHERIFF Wait a second, I have questions- She grabs his arm. He GRABS her by the throat. He LIFTS her from the floor with one hand. RON SILVER -Take your questions...and stick them. Where the sun does not shine. He tosses her back a few feet. She stumbles to the floor. He turns his back on her, again heading out. She draws her gun and cocks the hammer. He stops walking, but doesn’t turn around. RON SILVER (cont’d) If I feel so much as one bullet hit me, I’ll come over there, and I’ll pull your lungs through your nostrils. He walks out. Gun trembling, the Sheriff lays on the floor of her empty office, next to her dizzy dog. Her world has just peeled open. FADE TO BLACK. END OF ACT I CUT TO: CRAPPY FREEZE FRAME Of the HEAT VISION and JACK title from the opening sequence. HEAT VISION (V.O.) Stick around, Heat Seekers. Jack and I’ll be back in a hot flash. (beat) Get it? FADE IN: EXT. FRANK’S DINER - MORNING Sectioned off with yellow police ribbon. Heat Vision is parked at the gas pump. The nozzle is tucked into his tank, the trigger on auto. HEAT VISION Ah. Mmmmm. Yeah. Oh yeah. CUT TO: INT. FRANK’S DINER - KITCHEN Jack is staring at the burnt out radio and spatula. He takes a thoughtful bite of a sandwich. He finishes an INCREDIBLY COMPLEX diagram on a yellow legal pad. It is filled from edge to edge with cryptic formulas and phrases, but mainly features a radio, spatula and chef. The Sheriff enters through the same back door as before. SHERIFF I thought I’d find you here. Seeing her, Jack raises his hands in surrender. JACK Before you arrest me, Let me just say one thing. (beat) A chef and a waitress are missing. In lieu of the waitress, a pile of ash. In lieu of the chef? Thin air. He left the kitchen alive, and he left in a hurry. The grill was still on, a bag of lard left on the counter. Look at the R in lard. Drawn from the top, then down, then up again. The R’s in Paragon are “simple circuit,” drawn from the bottom up. The fingerprints in the ketchup match the fingerprints on this spot-welded spatula. So our chef walked away from an electric dynamo with different penmanship and a kooky name? How strange. For a human. The Sheriff shakes her head, winded. CUT TO: EXT. FRANK’S DINER - MORNING Heat Vision makes a final, refreshed sound and pulls away from the gas pump. HEAT VISION That’s better. Heat makes a U-turn, then stops abruptly. FRANK is standing in front of the motorcycle, still wearing his apron and sunglasses. HEAT VISION (V.O.)(cont’d) Hey. It’s a big desert. Do we have to stand in the same spot? FRANK Give me directions to the Treasure Chest. HEAT VISION (V.O.) I’m from out of town, cookie. (beat) Wait a minute. Do you work here? Were you here last night? FRANK (stiffly) Well, I, uh- -Frank HISSES and raises his sunglasses, revealing his glowing green eyes. CUT TO: INT. FRANK’S DINER - KITCHEN JACK Paragon is an alien life form, broadcast as a unique frequency. He came through the radio, and is using the chef’s body as an antenna. SHERIFF Jack. Ron Silver came to see me. Hearing the name, Jack’s smug face melts into terror. HEAT VISION (O.S.) Jack! JACK! JACK! JACK Heat Vision! CUT TO: EXT. FRANK’S DINER - MORNING Jack runs out the front door, through the web of yellow police ribbon. The Sheriff is close behind. Heat Vision is facing the door, waiting. He now turns his forks to the side, gesturing. HEAT VISION That fat guy tried to zap me with his freaky eyes! The Sheriff looks at the talking motorcycle, bug eyed. Jack looks down the highway and sees the plump, aproned man running away. Jack leaps onto Heat Vision. JACK Heat Vision: Forward! Heat peels a doughnut, spraying the Sheriff with dirt. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY Frank is running down the middle of the road like a robot. Heat Vision and Jack are speeding toward him. Frank runs off the road into the DESERT. CUT TO: EXT. DESERT - DAY Amidst a labyrinth of jutting rocks, Frank runs into a clearing. Jack and Heat catch up to him. Jack LEAPS off his bike, TACKLING Frank. Heat speeds out of the clearing. HEAT VISION (V.O.) I’ll be right there, I can’t back up! Jack rolls and gets to his feet, combat ready. Frank stands, hands at his sides. FRANK Pathetic human. Prepare to join Paragon’s energy. JACK JACK ATTACK! Jack makes a very serious martial arts gesture. Frank whips off his glasses, revealing his deadly, glowing eyes. Jack begins to shake. He screams and GLOWS GREEN. Popping a wheely, HEAT VISION ROARS into the clearing, HITTING FRANK in the HEAD with his front tire. Frank is sufficiently distracted. Jack falls to his knees. The green glow fades. Heat Vision circles for another pass at the chef. HEAT VISION (V.O.) You mess with a man, you mess with his bike! Heat charges. Frank steps aside and PUSHES him over, then runs away. Jack is in a trembling fetal position when the Sheriff runs to him, gun drawn. SHERIFF Jack! Are you okay? JACK Electron...dispersal... Jack, aided by the Sheriff, walks to his helpless bike. JACK Heat Vision? HEAT VISION (cont’d) He pushed me over. Jack grabs Heat Vision’s handlebars and lifts him upright. SHERIFF He got away? HEAT VISION (V.O.) (defensive) He pushed me over. Jack pats Heat on the fuel tank. JACK Okay, buddy. Okay. CUT TO: EXT. SHERIFF’S HOUSE - DAY Heat Vision is parked in the Sheriff’s driveway, next to the squad car. Neighborhood children are gathered around it, giggling. Heat Vision makes a raspberry sound. The kids giggle and back up, then step toward him again. Heat Vision makes another raspberry sound. The kids giggle and back up. CUT TO: INT. HOUSE - DAY Jack and the Sheriff are drinking a cup of coffee, watching Heat through the window. SHERIFF We should be safe here. It’s my sister’s house, she’s on tour in Cuba. (regarding Heat) He acts so human. How long did it take you to build him? JACK I didn’t. Heat Vision’s an accident, like me. (off her look) After I got back to Earth, NASA had me under lock and key. When they found out what happened to my brain, they decided to remove it. FLASH CUT TO: INT. WHITE HALL Some kind of hospital area at NASA. Jack sneaks to a red, wall mounted phone and picks it up. JACK (V.O.) I was quite literally too smart for them. Hip to their jive, I called my roommate, Doug, and asked him to come pick me up. CUT TO: INT. APARTMENT We are behind DOUG, a young blonde man, seated on a ratty couch, watching Dr. Who on TV. He’s speaking on the phone, but we can’t see his face. Doug hangs up the phone, grabs a pair of blue shades and runs for the door. As he opens it, we see HEAT VISION parked outside. CUT TO: INT. WHITE HALL Satisfied, Jack hangs up the phone. Then, he sees- RON SILVER appearing around a corner, far down the hall, searching for Jack. CUT TO: EXT. NASA HEADQUARTERS - PARKING LOT Doug PULLS UP on Heat Vision, smoking a cigarette. He has his back to us. JACK (V.O.) During the escape, Doug was shot with an experimental ray. Jack bursts through a door, running for his life. Behind him, Ron Silver emerges, toting a horrible looking weapon (two-handed). In slo-mo: Doug points. Jack ducks. Ron shoots the gun. A ray STRIKES Doug and Heat Vision in a blinding FLASH. BACK TO: INT. HOUSE - DAY Jack is washing their coffee cups in the sink. The Sheriff is sitting down, rapt. JACK He merged with his bike. Doug died that day, and Heat Vision was born. SHERIFF He seems okay with it. HEAT VISION (O.S.) Let’s just say I’m adjusting. Startled, the Sheriff sees Heat Vision pushing his way through the front door. JACK You learn to accept things when you’re on the run. If fate makes you a motorcycle, you become a motorcycle. She stands up. SHERIFF Does the same go for you? JACK I’m not a motorcycle. She walks to behind him. SHERIFF You never get tired of running? You never have to... stop for gas? He turns and looks at her. JACK Sometimes I do. He strokes her cheek. In the living room, Heat Vision looks around. HEAT VISION (V.O.) This is a great place. Your sister must be rich. Jack and the Sheriff aren’t listening to him. JACK The gas always lives to regret it. There’s a spark, an explosion, then I move forward, and the gas is consumed. Exhausted. SHERIFF Do you promise? They kiss passionately. A searing, TRADEMARK HEAT VISION FILM BURN transition... CUT TO: INT. HOUSE - BEDROOM The Sheriff is sleeping soundly beneath the covers. She turns over, laying her arm across the pillow next to her, then wakes up. CUT TO: INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM Heat Vision is parked next to the couch, watching Dr. Who on television. The Sheriff enters, wrapped in blankets. HEAT VISION (V.O.) Hey. SHERIFF Hey. HEAT VISION (V.O.) I wanted to go outside, but there was no room to turn around. SHERIFF Don’t worry about it. Jack enters from the kitchen, putting the finishing touch on an insane-looking device, built from a boombox, wired and duct taped to a spatula and mini-satellite dish. SHERIFF (cont’d) What’s that? JACK The silver bullet. Paragon kills by setting up a kind of feedback that vibrates the energy from his victim’s body. He uses the optic nerve as a main channel. That’s why he couldn’t turn Heat Vision into ashes. Heat got no eyes. HEAT VISION (V.O.) It’s true. JACK During that moment of feedback, he’s vulnerable to a reversal of the process. Next time we see him, I’m gonna get crazy on him, hard style, because I owe him. Once I knock his glasses off, all you have to do is tap him with this. He holds up the spatula. JACK The alien goes into the boombox, and the dish disperses the signal. HEAT VISION (V.O.) Para-gone. JACK Now we just have to find him. Sheriff addresses Heat Vision, speaking loudly and slowly. SHERIFF Heat Vision, did Paragon say anything when you talked to him? HEAT VISION (V.O.) Uhhhh..WAIT! Yeah, he DID! He wanted directions to a treasure chest! JACK Heat, don’t be sarcastic. HEAT VISION (V.O.) No, I’m serious. That’s what he said. SHERIFF (realizing) The Treasure Chest! CUT TO: EXT. TREASURE CHEST STRIP BAR - DAY Your standard highway-side strip bar. A sexy woman with a wooden leg and eye patch graces the sign. CUT TO: INT. TREASURE CHEST STRIP BAR It’s lunch time- a few regular drunks are hunched over the bar, and a few introverts are seated around the runway. Two POOL PLAYERS in hard hats are alarmed to hear a scream from O.S. They look to see- -Frank, standing up from a seat in a dark corner, a pile of ashes sifting off his lap. FRANK All monkey tramps dance on Paragon’s lap. POOL PLAYER 1 Hey, that guy disintegrated Jasmine! The pool player runs at Frank with his cue. Frank lowers his glasses and DISINTEGRATES him mid-stride. POOL PLAYER 2 HEY! The second pool player grabs a billiard ball from the table and THROWS it. Frank ducks, then lowers his glasses and ZAPS him, too. The stripper on the runway screams. Frank turns and looks up at her. FRANK I’ll teach you inferior women to reject PARAGON. He reaches for his glasses. HEAT VISION CRASHES through the bar’s wall. Jack is riding him, with the Sheriff on the back. They both leap off the bike. The Sheriff is holding Jack’s cosmic boombox device. JACK Nobody look at this man! Jack and the Sheriff remove special, Jack-made blinder glasses from their pockets and put them on. Frank is upset to see Jack again. FRANK Paragon will DESTROY you. They run at each other and clash in a flurry of mutually blocked swipes. Frank ends the exchange by removing Jack’s glasses and SHOVING him backward. Jack quickly reaches O.S. and yanks a stripper’s top off. He ties it around his eyes like a ninja’s blindfold. They go at it again, grappling each other in a Star Trek style battle. HEAT VISION (V.O.) To your left, Jack! Now club him on the back! Use the double-fist! The customers in the bar all begin shouting out with Heat. The Sheriff has her glasses lowered, waiting for the right moment. Unseen to anyone else, RON SILVER walks through the hole left in the wall by Heat Vision. Seeing Jack, he walks briskly across the bar, a determined look on his face. Frank punches Jack across the jaw. Jack punches Frank across the jaw, then the gut. Then, with a devastating hook, KNOCKS FRANK’S GLASSES off. Wasting no time, Jack, still blindfolded, gets behind Frank and holds his arms. JACK Now! The Sheriff prepares to move in with the boom box device when she sees RON SILVER walk past her. He’s heading for Jack, drawing a HUMONGOUS SPACE GUN from a shoulder holster. With no time to think, the Sheriff SMASHES the boom box over Ron Silver’s head. The boom box falls next to him, shattered into useless pieces. Stunned, Ron turns slowly to face her. She draws her gun and sticks it in his face. Heat Vision slips behind Silver as he backs away from the Sheriff. Ron stumbles over the bike. The Sheriff gets out her handcuffs. SHERIFF Drop it, Silver! Jack, blindfolded, is confused. JACK (cont’d) Silver? Eyes glowing, Frank RIPS away from Jack in a burst of anger. He grabs Jack and THROWS him across the room. Jack hits the bottom of the stripper pole, knocking it out of the runway. The DJ cowers as one end of the pole SPEARS his sound system in a shower of sparks. Jack slides to a stop on the runway. Dazed, he pulls down his bra blindfold. Frank steps onto the runway, smiling, eyes glowing. The Sheriff finishes handcuffing Ron Silver to the bar, and sees Frank moving in for the kill. SHERIFF No! She empties her revolver into Frank. Each shot leaves a green, glowing hole, which promptly seals shut. Frank heads for Jack. Jack looks at the stripper pole. One end is at his feet. The other is anchored in the sparking sound system. Without looking, Jack KICKS the other end of the pole toward the approaching Frank. Frank catches it. Jack looks at the freaked out DJ. JACK (cont’d) PRESS RECORD! The DJ hits RECORD on the tape deck. Frank’s eyes glow bright. He starts shaking. He glows green. FRANK’S ENTIRE BODY DISINTEGRATES, then SHOOTS through the pole into the tape deck. All is quiet again. The DJ ejects the smoking tape from the deck and holds it up, looking at Jack. DJ Do you want me to label this? CUT TO: EXT. TREASURE CHEST STRIP BAR - DUSK Two strippers are sitting on Heat Vision while a friend takes a picture. They bounce up and down, giggling. HEAT VISION (chuckling) Oooookay. You have no idea what you’re doing. Jack and the Sheriff walk toward the bike. They stop and look off: The sun is being swallowed by the horizon. The sky is dark orange. SHERIFF I love sunsets. JACK I don’t. He holds up the cassette tape. JACK (cont’d) Be very careful with this. Paragon’s glide-sustaining ions have been neutralized by the cassette’s residual magnetism, but his protophotonic pattern is still...together..on the...thing. I recommend you dispose of this tape in the proper... (frowns, concentrates) Dispose of it in the proper method. SHERIFF How’s that? JACK Uh. I. The sun is gone. Jack shakes his head and shrugs. JACK (cont’d) Throw it away. The strippers get off of Heat Vision. SHERIFF If you stay...I could help you. He scoffs at the notion. JACK I’ve tried to tell my story to journalists, I’ve tried to make friends, I’ve tried to open up to women. (cracking) And they’ve died. (swallowing) It’s dark, now. I’ve got to ride. He kisses her. SHERIFF So long, Jack. JACK (cont’d) So long, Sheriff. He walks to his bike and climbs on. HEAT VISION (V.O.) She was a little clingy. JACK Heat Vision: Forward. We’ve burnt our daylight. Heat revs his engine and zooms away. The Sheriff watches them disappear. She smiles, shakes her head and throws the tape into a public garbage can. CUT TO: INT. TREASURE CHEST STRIP BAR She draws her gun as she enters the trashed bar. SHERIFF Alright, Silver, now you’re go- Her handcuffs are dangling from the bar. She looks around the club, worried. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY Ron Silver speeds down the road in a black sedan, talking on a cell phone. RON SILVER Yes sir. I’m right behind him. No, I can’t see him, I mean I’m one step behind him. He hangs up the phone. RON SILVER (cont’d) You can’t run forever, Jack. Not from death. Not from your shadow. Not from Ron Silver. CUT TO: EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY Jack ZOOMS down the desert road, wind in his hair, regret in his eyes. HEAT VISION (V.O.) Jack says the Earth’s shape is mankind’s curse, because we can never reach our horizon. I say a round planet is a gift. We can move forward forever, and find a different horizon every week. Goodnight. FADE TO BLACK.