Fashion

I noticed a few posts about attacks (from , , ) and what to do and them and felt compelled to make this post.

Disclaimer: I have martial arts experience and have taught self self classes. That being said, I have some opinions on what I think is best, some people will disagree, and that's okay. We're all just trying to stay safe. You do you! There's a summary at the bottom.

Prepping ahead of time

1. Don't carry pepper spray, tasers, or knives

Why? Top reason: it can easily be used against you. If an attacker chooses to attack you, they've likely done a mental calculation and think they're bigger and stronger than you (and they probably are). They can grab your weapon from you, either throwing it away from you or using it against you.

With pepper spray in particular, they don't even need to grab it from you for it to harm you. What if the wind is blowing towards you? What if you're in an enclosed space? The main use case of pepper spray is that the attacker is at least a few feet away from you--are you really going to pepper spray someone who you're not even sure is going to attack you? If you're already attacked, well, adrenaline makes you loose dexterity of your fingers, and even if you manage to spray it, you're probably going to get it in your eyes too, because it floats in the air. And then you'll have trouble getting away if your eyes are burning. And oftentimes pepper sprays are faulty! People don't usually test them because they don't want to waste them, but they can be degraded by heat, age (they do expire), and other things.

A lot of factors have to be 'perfect' for pepper spray. Knives are just dangerous, just no. Tasers are probably the least offensive on this list, but do you want to risk getting tased? There are better options imo.

In my opinion, these weapons are mental safety blankets, providing a false sense of security. If you're of the mindset that you can just buy something and carry it in your purse, and that that's going to keep you safe, I think that is misguided and dangerous. Understandable, because it's easy! Easier than what I'm going to suggest below. (I'm sure these have come in handy for some people in some cases, but I'm also sure they've failed people a lot)

2. Use what you have for weapons (keys between fingers in fist)

I do support using whatever you have on you or around you as a weapon. Your teeth are also a weapon, bite that motherfucker! Holding your keys in your fist brass knuckles style is good, but will likely only help you if you are doing this before the attack, so make it a habit if you want to use this. A heavy metal tumbler can be good for smacking someone, if you happen to have the opportunity during an attack.

3. Learn how to do a killer elbow thrust (comes from the hips!) and basic fight stance

Go take a self defense class, boxing class, or Krav Maga class (at least a few days over a month, for muscle memory. Not a one and done approach). Have someone teach you how to punch properly, from your hips, from a fight stance.

Tips: The force comes from your body, your arm/fist/elbow is just the delivery mechanism. For a lot of force, you should imagine punching through the object, like the target you're aiming for is farther away than it really is.

Watching a video is not going to cut it. You need to have at least a little muscle memory. Practicing in the air is okay for maintaining muscle memory, but practicing on a punching bag/pads is what you need to form the muscle memory properly in the first place. It's like the difference between pretending to lift a weight and actually lifting one. You won't do a good job pretending until you know what the real thing feels like.

Learn how to do an elbow thrust specifically (same as punching, but just using a pointed elbow instead of your fist).

Why elbow thrust? It can pack a lot of power since it's closer to your body than a punch, it's more practical to use than a punch if someone is attacking you (right behind/in front/next to you), and it's safer (you do risk injuring your hand with a regular punch). Plus they're really satisfying once you get it down, because you will see how powerful you are (you may surprise yourself).

Bonus points: learn to punch with the heel of your hand, regular punch, and knee to the groin (mega hip thrusting for power).

An aside: if you take a self defense or Krav Maga class for self defense, vet it first. What you want to see is that after they've taught you the technique, do they do real life simulations/practice at the end of class? You don't want the type of nonserious class where they just show you the move and call it a day (see the next point). There are other types of martial arts, but most are not as practical for everyday self defense. Jiu jitsu is good too, but it takes longer, because it's less scrappy.

4. Learn how to go Hulk for yourself (and then practice)

Generally, we women are socialized to not make a scene, to not make a fuss. Most of us need to reprogram ourselves a bit, on a physiologocal level, if we want a better chance at defending ourselves during an attack.

Going to a good self defense, boxing, or Krav Maga class should include this. They might call it 'learning to be aggressive'. If you're already strong (weights/kettlebell), likely this will come easier to you (because you know you're strong).

You have to turn into an attacker when you're being attacked. Train yourself to turn adrenaline into fight instead of freeze. (obviously you should flee if that's an option, but this is for when it's not)

If you're not going to do a class, at least do this: go to your room and scream into your pillow with rage (hopefully when nobody's around). Get over the awkwardness. Get. over. it. That's holding you back. This isn't a tea party, this is time to get your adrenaline up and feel rage. Think about the idea of someone attacking you, just the idea, and then immediately think HOW FUCKING DARE THEY. WHAT THE FUCK IS THEIR PROBLEM? NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER.

Let me tell you, as someone who has been attacked: I thought I would scream and fight when I got attacked. I didn't. No sound could come out of my mouth, as much as I wanted it to. I froze. This is why I ended up teaching self defense and getting into martial arts.

All the physical weapons and techniques in the world won't help you if you don't have the mental aggression you need to defend yourself. You need to practice feeling MAD at someone attacking you. You don't deserve to be attacked. And you can use that anger to save yourself.

Build those neural pathways in your brain, both physically and mentally, so they're there when you need them.

Out n about

5. Leaving the home: consider putting your heels in your bag

Not practical always, and if you don't want to, it's fine. Attackers may see heels as a weakness, because it's harder for you to run or fight, and it's easier for you to twist an ankle. Just use your own judgement.

6. Walking around: walk and stand confidently, and know your exits and surroundings

There's studies done showing that been predict who is likely to be attacked purely on how they're walking/their posture.

You're a bad bitch. Walk like one, stand like one. Find some legit videos on good posture, it's easy to overcorrect/overdo it. Boring experts know best.

This will be easier if you do weights/kettlebelling, or are generally fit in some way (core and glute strength especially).

You should also feel more confident if you know your exits. Sit facing so you can see your exits when you can, and count them. Note them walking around. Fighting is a last resort, so if you can run away, do it. Being aware of your surroundings can help a lot, giving you early warning signs. Trust your gut.

7. During an attack: all humans have weak points: eyes, groin, feet

There's more than those, but those are likely your best bets. It's best if you learn how to hit these spots in various scenarios, but if you don't, that's okay. Just remember them: top, middle, bottom; eyes, groin, feet. Your animal instincts will very likely kick in and help you if you've worked on your mental Hulking.

8. During an attack: use the element of surprise

You can throw an attacker off mentally if you do something they don't expect. Maybe you laugh. Maybe you say something nonsensical. This isn't really something you would plan for, but just a seed to plant into your brain. Your instincts might come up with something whacky, and if they do, don't second think it, just go with it.

Summary:

• Use what you have as weapons, rather than pepper spray and made-to-attack tools, and have them ready; be aware of your surroundings, especially in heels

• Build neural pathways beforehand as attacker insurance, both physically (learn and practice elbow thrusts/self defense) and mentally (be MAD at the idea of someone attacking you, really feel that rage, think those thoughts; train yourself to fight instead of freeze, mentally)

• Be confident with your body language and posture (this is easiest to do if you work on your actual confidence, but faking it til you make it is a thing! I really recommend regular weights/kettlebell to boost your strength, which will make it feel more confident out in the world, and it's good for health as you age for numerous reasons).

• If you're attacked, be a crazy bitch, like a cat in water, and remember, top middle bottom, eyes groin feet.

• Above all, trust your gut, and trust that you are an animal--you have animal instincts that will serve you.

Stay safe out there bitches