where I go from here, part II

if you are looking for part I, click here!

After deferring my acceptance to TFA my life became pretty consumed with other things. First, healing from the miscarriage, next, coming to terms with a new pregnancy. Though I can look back on my pregnancy now and tell myself it wasn’t that bad, it was. From 25 weeks on my entire existence was focused on keeping the babies inside for as long as possible. When TFA emailed me over the summer to double check that I was still interested for the following year, I almost didn’t respond. I had way bigger things on my mind. But I did respond and said yes, still very interested. But pretty pretty please, Los Angeles. I had to realistically accept that Rob and I could not move to Las Vegas with newborn twins.

When I had been accepted originally the Los Angeles team had told me that it was very difficult to get a position teaching in LA for History or English. The LA team wanted me, but hired very few English or History teachers. When I sent off the information saying that I was still interested, I assumed I would get told that they wanted me, but only had a position for me in Las Vegas. I sent off the request and it fell off my radar again. Something about being in and out of the hospital meant that I didn’t have room for much else in my brain.

Sometime in September I got an email from TFA welcoming me to the Las Vegas team. Well, that was that. I was disappointed but had never really expected it to work out. It would have been too good to be true. I didn’t respond to the email right away because I was just like, ugh, another door closed. I really wanted to work with TFA, everything about the organization had impressed me and screamed, this is the right fit for you! I was too bummed to respond and say, thank you, but I can’t move to Las Vegas. So I didn’t. About a week later Rob left for England to go to his sister’s wedding and I was at home, on bed rest. thrill. a. minute. I got a call from an unknown number in LA and decided to answer because, what else was I doing?

It was the TFA Los Angeles calling to welcome me to the 2015 team.

Erm.. what? I assumed there had been a mistake and explained to the very nice woman that I had already been welcomed to the Las Vegas team. She assured me that there definitely had been a mistake because I was for sure on the LA team. She had me login into my TFA page to prove it. There it was. I had been assigned to teach history in Los Angeles. The conversation gets a little hazy for me at this point because I was hyperventilating on the inside while trying to act very normal on the phone. I remember her insisting that I take a few days to make a decision as to whether to accept the position, she had just found out I was about to pop with twins.

I got off the phone and started to sob uncontrollably. I kept trying to get it together because I was freaking out my family. A sobbing pregnant woman is never a good sign. I just kept saying it’s good news and it’s not about the babies! I had also been waiting for a phone call from my OB regarding premature labor. I called Rob like 14 times, but he was in England and asleep so I just left him several voicemails saying, it’s not about the babies and please call me back.

I got the call from the LA team on a Wednesday. I had a couple of weeks to consider it and decide. I accepted it that Friday.