where I go from here, part I

Last July I did a four-part blog on how I upended my professional life and stepped away from the legal world. I left it hanging as to what I would be doing now that I wasn’t practicing, mainly because it was still very much up in the air. For most of my pregnancy I knew that I was going to have twins and then..? Well, I got a phone call about two weeks before I gave birth that changed everything. However, I am going to have to back up to October 2013…

It was about October of 2013 that I was desperate for something, anything, to get me out of my firm job. I felt so helpless, all I wanted was a job where I felt safe, where I felt appreciated and needed. I was looking for teaching positions and wasn’t coming up with anything when I stumbled across Teach for America.

For those of you not in the know, TFA is a national non-profit organization that places educators in low-income communities. TFA states, “Our mission is to enlist, develop, and mobilize our nation’s most promising future leaders to grow and strengthen the movement for educational equity.” What this meant for me, practically, is that I would be teaching in a low-income school while I earned my teaching credential. It sounded like an amazing fit for me. I knew about this TFA in college, but I already had plans to move to England and marry Rob so I had never considered it seriously. I didn’t really know the details, but I started the application process and crossed my fingers.

The process was rigorous. Essays to be written and lesson plans to develop. If I made it past the first steps I would have to present a lesson, on a topic of my choosing, to a classroom of other applicants. I made it through the interview process and everyone seemed very impressed with me. I say this not because I think I am super cool, but because it was such a different experience from where I was working. I was starting to become used to thinking I was crap at everything. Having people tell me I was qualified and a great fit was amazing.

Early January I found out that I had been accepted to teach English… in Las Vegas. I knew this was part of the deal. I could be placed anywhere in the country. But I also knew that I couldn’t move to Las Vegas. I tried to convince Rob that we could totally move and he was like, um no. And then, I lost the baby. Instead of turning TFA down I asked if I could defer for a year. I figured, a lot could happen in a year…