1. Getting your kid into this and then hearing, “I have to go potty.”
2. Trying to somehow make it to a 4 o’clock Little League game.
3. Figuring out how the heck to get your kid out of this thing.
“Don’t make me come in there after you!” Really, please don’t make me come in there after you.
5. When your kid insists you read the long bedtime story.
“Are you sure you don’t want to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar instead? It’s pretty awesome.” Awesome and short.
6. Trying to pretend you don’t know what’s up when your teenage son takes his third shower of the day.
7. Feigning interest in your kids’ favorite things.
“Yes, Hillary, I do think One Direction’s harmonies are wonderful. And that Harry is quite the looker, isn’t he?”
9. Having to get up at 6 a.m. on a Saturday for soccer.
Oh joy. It’s still dark out.
11. Retraining your kids after a weekend of being spoiled by the grandparents.
“I don’t care what your grandma allowed, Private! You’re back in my house now and you will follow my rules, understand?”
12. Being told at 10 p.m. that your kid needs to bring three dozen cookies to school the next day.
“I also need to wear a Theodore Roosevelt costume, Mom.”
14. Trying to find out what happened at school.
“COME ON! YOU MUST REMEMBER SOMETHING! JUST TELL ME ONE THING THAT HAPPENED TODAY! ONE LOUSY THING!”
15. Needing to go to the bathroom when your baby is asleep on you.
If only you were both in diapers.
16. When your kid forgets her favorite toy at the mall and you promise to go back and find it.
“Excuse me, sir, but by any chance have you seen a small, fluffy rabbit?”
17. Trying to help your kid with math homework.
“Were there always this many numbers? It seems like there are more numbers now.”
18. When your kid asks if you’ve ever tried marijuana.
19. Keeping it together after letting your kid take the car out for the night.
20. Trying not to be so embarrassing.
This, according to our kids, is our number one problem.
21. Being nice to your daughter’s prom date after he rolls up like this:
Come over here, son, and get a nice, firm handshake.
23. Trying not to cry at your kid’s high school graduation.
You know what? Go ahead. You’ve earned it.
HOT ON
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