Bob logo

Bob code Version 0.14

Yet another spin off of Geek code, but who cares?[1]
Basically this is another way for People who work in Technical Support, known from now on as Bob's for reasons too dull to mention, to be obscure and uninformative in the most helpful manner possible and to demonstrate their obvious superiority. It may also show that I spent far too much time at a computer.

Instructions

You're a Bob right?
You can work it out.

Variables

OK did you understand that? If not see instructions.

Types of Bob - K

Sadly the type of Bob you are is heavily tied to the sort of luser you have to deal with most. To start the code use the letter K for Kate, B is already used by the bear code and that could be interesting if confuse, followed by a modifier for the type of luser you deal with. The $ modifier is taken as read on this one.

If you're an ex-bob, but want to continue using the bob-code, after all you're scared for life why not let everyone know what to pester you about, then add a ! before the K.

These can be modified as follows...

luser type - l

Of course the next question is what is the main brand of luser you have to deal with, for this we use l, they don't deserve a capital.

Education - E

Now for the compulsory education section, using E for education. Choose the categories most relevant to whatever your educational background is.

Add - if your education is actually relevant to you job.
Add + for the level you go to in your countries educational system, above the compulsory point, so in the UK don't add anything unless you made sixth form or higher. Add a trailing d if you dropped out at the last point and didn't actually pass

E-mail addresses - m

For some reasons bob's seem to acquire e-mail addresses, so put an m followed by the number of different domains you have e-mail addresses in. Number of addresses would be too easy.

luser Contact - C

Sadly being a bob seems to involve actually communicating with lusers, this can change the nature of being a bob so after the designator C list the method of contact:

Burnout - B

Apparently bob's have on average an active contact life of only 18 months, so deduct the number of months you've been a bob from 18 and write it after the designator B

OS of choice - O

Strangely despite the fact we spend all day working with the things many bobs still go home to use computers there, so list the OS you use from choice after the designator O.

Lart - L

As we all know cluelessness can be cured from time to time by careful application of a baseball bat, or lart. Not everyone finds a baseball bat to their liking so what is your favourite type of lart, list it after L

Substance of survival - S

Bob's have stressy life's, we know this so we turn to various chemical substances, designated S, to help us,

Add +'s as you feel required to indicate the quantity or strength of the substances you consume.

Truthfullness - T

Sadly bob's sometimes have to conceal the harsh realities of the world from vulnerable lusers this is indicated by T

Appearance - A

Most bob's never actually see other people, being stuck at the other end of a terminal or phone so, who really cares what you look like but for the sake of filling space, and as bob's allegedly tend to be considered strange put an A followed by:

If you are A6 or higher, then add to your code the following:
People think that the weirdest aspect to me is the way I...

Hackery - H

Bobs seem to enjoy playing with technology, some reason this is what causes them to become bobs, so how good are you at hackery? Tell us after the designator - H

Add one or more of the following modifiers:

Boxes - b

For some unknown reason bob's seem to acquire computers and bit's of computer, many of which may be obsolete. So count the number of boxes or theoretical boxes, if you just got round to putting the bits together, you have, ones at work don't count, and list the number after b.

Dogberts New Ruling Class - D

Many bob's have titles from Dogbert, as we are amongst the new ruling class, if you want to list your do so after D or just put a + for each title you have.

Then simply list the lot together. For sake of example my bob code would be:

KIkBpdh- lwd ES!++d m12 CEc B(-12)-15 Odu LsG SC+++ T+++ A7! H6om b10 D++

Simple huh? Comments to me

For those of you that like such things there is a JAVA version of this code at: http://www.project-insomnia.com/bobcode/

[1] Other codes blatantly ripped off goth code , geek code and twink code. And probably many others I did this yonks back when I was far more clueless than I am now, and never expected this to get in a FAQ or be updated.[2]
[2] If you feel you are owed credit for any of this or want any of your work removed let me know and I shall do such a thing.[3]
[3] copyright remains with the people whose work I've ripped off.