The Humpday Challenge: Testers
We thought that our hard working test team needed a break from playing endless games of Halo 2. So we invited them to play us in the Humpday Challenge, where we played them at endless games of Halo 2. What we forgot, is that people whose sole task in life is to play endless games of Halo 2, are probably pretty good at it.
These guys do all sorts of stuff behind the scenes, testing playlists, looking at new ways to fix cheating and modding, and they work very, very hard. So let’s give them a round of applause. Also they are a bunch of camping jerks.
You know we get stupider every week, I swear. We just don’t think it through. Not that we just want to win. But we want to win sometimes. Last week was enjoyable for that very reason. Anyway, this week, it all went down like this – since we were in the Test Lab, the Gamertags are test accounts.
The Bungie C Krew
-
Sketch
– He’s back! -
Ske7ch
-
Frankie
– Superking -
Buninja07
-
Jeremiah
– Lord of Matchmaking -
Ninja on Fire
-
Joe Staten
– Cinemagicist -
Buninja03
The Icy Hot Testaz
-
sorahn
- Daryl Roberts -
Buninja04
-
GadflyAngel
- Robert Allen -
Buninja02
-
MechOne
- Lee Stoiser -
Buninja06
-
iamnuts
- Jeff Sheaffer -
Buninja08
GAME 1:
Custom CTF
Game Stats
Colossus, Sniper Rifles
Game Duration:
5:13
General Tone of Game :
Stupid
We thought it would be nice to start things off with a relatively sedate game of Team Snipers CTF, but there was nothing sedate about it. Before we could really gather our wits or strategize, the FUSION guys were all over us, storming our base with reckless abandon. The smart thing would have been to take our time, pick ‘em off one by one and dictate the pace of the game.
Yup, that would have been the smart thing to do. But no. Off we went, in a panic, rampaging over the walls, plummeting to our deaths as we were sniped in mid-air. Crashing face first into each other, screaming, flailing and generally making a mess.
I did, to my credit manage to actually get to their flag several times. Once it even led to a score. On the final flag however, I made a terrible error of judgment. I wrongly assumed it was “Flag must be at home to Score” and instead of taking an easy opportunity to wail on their flag carrier (inches from their base) I leaped into the void, hoping to keep the game alive.
He probably couldn’t believe his luck as I dove over the railing. He merrily planted the flag and had time to observe my bafflement as it dawned on me that I basically have no clue what is going on, at any given time. Ever. You know the facial expression that Lemurs have? That’s me, 24/7.
Final Score:
3 flags to 2 - Bungie Sucks a Pickled Egg
GAME 2:
Team Slayer
Game Stats
Beaver Creek , Team Hardcore Rules
Game Duration:
6:28
General Tone of Game :
Disorganized
I usually enjoy Beaver Creek because it’s small, and therefore somewhat unpredictable. I have this technique for the Creek that actually scores points. Here’s what I do. As I run along the side of a base, towards the rear teleporter, I throw two grenades high against the cliff at the far wall. If anyone’s over there, they’re taking splash damage and invariably running out to confront me. I pop off a few shots and usually win those encounters. Then I rest, recharge my shields and dive suicidally through the teleporter.
It usually works. But that, as it turns out is only true of Rumble Pit. The test team had positioned a spotter on the roof of their base, who was simply alerting his team mates to our location at all times. Every time we tried to take him off the roof, he’d duck out of sight. Pop, pop, pop,’til we drop. And it don’t stop. Just spilling our blood ‘til, a dude shows up with a mop.
We eventually calmed down, stopped bustin’ mad rhymes, got ourselves organized into pairs and made more of a dent in their score. But the damage was already done. Since they were already way ahead, and better shots than us, and better organized, and better prepared, we were kind doomed. Next time we will stick to phat choons and sweet beats.
Final Score:
50 to 28 – Bungie Eats the Moldy Cheese
GAME 3:
Team Oddball
Game Stats
Backwash , Ball Carrier runs fast, can take more damage
Game Duration:
3:51
General Tone of Game:
Foggy
So uh, this must be the “Insult to Injury” round. We OK’d the gametype because it was so bizarre, we thought I might even out the score a little bit. It was set up as oddball, with the ball carrier able to run super fast and take tons of damage. Great idea, right? Wrong. They got the ball first and held on to it like it was made of chocolate and naked ladies.
We ran around the central structuire most of the time being picked off by properly organized ball support. I admit that the reason I win a lot of oddball matches in matchmaking is that folks get distracted easily. Not in this game. They were laser focused.
We started pretending that we were just screwing around at this point. Laughing and joking. But in reality, they were the tears of a clown.
Jeremiah tried to organize a rally. But it was like herding cats. Smelly old one-eyed cats who can hardly walk anymore and just sit on the stoop, leaking.
Final Score:
2 minutes to 44 seconds - Bungie Chews on Stank Entrails.
Next Challenge:
Later this week: A slightly unusual challenge. Smoke and a pancake?