FEAR: In many instances a sexual assault survivor
has experienced the fear of losing her/his
life. In these cases, fear is the dominate
emotion.
Talk with your client about measures she/he
has taken to feel safe; are the doors and
windows locked, are emergency phone numbers
easily accessible, etc. As a result of this
fear, she/he may be forced to make changes
in lifestyle, and this loss of freedom may
cause anger. Focus on rewarding personal
strengths and on the present rather than on
the past.
ANGER: There is often as much anger at the events
following the assault, as toward the assault
itself; changing lifestyle, loss of freedom,
being told to "get over it" by friends and
family. Validate the feelings of anger and
create a safe place for expression. How can
the anger be expressed in a constructive way?
Does the expression of anger help to diffuse
it?
GUILT AND SHAME: Even though a survivor may know that she/he is
not responsible for the assault, the reactions
of those around her/him, the media, etc., may
create feelings of guilt, shame and responsi-
bility. It is often easier to take the
responsibility for blame than to admit that the
rape has happened. Be supportive, tell the
survivor that it was not her/his fault. Help
to separate the problems of others from
hers/his.
MISTRUST: Often survivors will say that they have lost
all faith in others. Validate feelings, but
remind of support systems, people she can
trust and count on, etc.
FEELING LIKE THEY Many survivors tell us this. Extreme anxiety
ARE GOING CRAZY: and stress, loss of sleep, and feelings of
lack of control, can cause a person to feel
like they're going crazy. Reassure the
survivor that these feelings are normal
reactions to a crazy situation. Focus on
the things that she/he does have control
over, and help to narrow problems to those
that can be dealt with right now.
Compiled by Ithaca Rape Crisis, Revised January 1990