Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault Training Manual
Reprinted With Permission
Counselors and advocates are there to respond to the needs of others. However, it is crucial to remember that counselors have needs of their own as well. Particularly in working with victims of sexual assault and sexual abuse, counselors may experience emotional stress and the depletion of resources. To feel that you are giving all the time can leave you with a sense of emptiness, with nothing left to offer. You may feel that you have no more energy, strength or resources left.
Counselors also have legitimate needs. We have needs for recognition and support, for validating the difficult jobs we do. We also have expectations of ourselves - sometimes expecting that if we serve the needs of the victim, it means that we don't have needs of our own. Setting aside our own needs in order to focus on the needs of a victim may become a habit that spills over into our other interactions, or may have been a habit we'd previously learned.
Hearing several painful stories in a row can be emotionally draining. Sometimes the stories victims tell and the feelings they express can hook into our own personal issues. When the needs of victims are urgent, it may become harder and harder for us to say 'no" and to set limits. The rhythms of crisis counseling can also work to undermine the well-being of the counselor; you may see someone in crisis but not when they're recovered and are thriving. We may make excessive demands on ourselves and our colleagues. We may forget to develop our own support systems or to take advantage of the ones which are available to US.
Burnout can also creep up on people working in any human services field before they are aware of it. If you begin to experience one or more of the following, consider the possibility that you are burning out:
There are no simple prescriptions or recipes to avoid or to heal burnout. Just as every victim has their own pattern of recovery and healing, so every counselor has unique possibilities for regaining energy and interest. Some options shared by counselors and advocates:
Working with victims of sexual violence can be joyous and satisfying. That may sound odd. but it is the experience of many. We are doing something active and important. We can see the differences our responses make to people in need. We get as much energy back from this work as we put in. To be in that state, we need to pay as much careful attention to our own processes as we do to those of victims. Just as with those we counsel, we do know what we need, we do have resources to draw upon, we can learn new coping skills. We are whole persons.