(AP, BLS Illustration)

We're probably going to hear a lot of sad/funny/pathetic anecdotes this season about the Miami Marlins, the team that flushed itself down the toilet when owner Jeffrey Loria traded most of the team to the Toronto Blue Jays in November.

Today's head-shaker? Loria told shortstop Jose Reyes – a big-money free agent signing before the 2012 season — to buy a house in Miami in two days before trading him.

Using The Stew's staff Delorean, we traveled back in time to the dinner Reyes had with Loria that farceful November night and documented other advice the owner gave his star shortshop:

(AP)"I'll always be a Red Sock."

There goes Kevin Youkilis, immediately endearing himself to the Yankee faithful. The longtime Boston Red Sox fan favorite who joined the rival New York Yankees in the offseason isn't starting off on the right foot in Yanks camp.

That really has to be one of the oddest transitions in sports. Yet in a Yankees offseason that's included Biogenesis, mending versions of Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera, Mark Teixera saying he's paid too much and every baseball know-it-all calling them "too old," the Boston-New York transformation of Youkilis hadn't registered the controversy it might have in another year.

All Youkilis had to do was shut up and ... oh, wait. Oops. Youkilis dropped into training camp on Thursday and unloaded that first faux pas while speaking to the New York Daily News.

[Related: Curt Schilling talks Red Sox pain-killer scandal]

Here are the full comments from Youk, so you can judge it in full context:

(Getty Images, BLS Illustration)

File this one away under Weird Things That Happen at Spring Training: The Washington Nationals got an unexpected guest Thursday during batting practice. And it wasn't a racing president. It was a fish.

As the Washington Post tells us, an osprey was flying over the outfield with a fish in its mouth ... when the bird dropped the fish onto the field.

We know what you're thinking. No, it wasn't a gift from the Baseball Gods to Bryce Harper, nor was it a welcome-to-the-team gift for new outfielder Denard Span. Span, however, did watch the whole thing happen. The Post has a video of Span talking about the incident. He said:

The Colorado Rockies' humidor room at Coors Field (AP)Taking a cue from the Colorado Rockies, the Los Angeles Dodgers have announced their Triple-A affiliate Albuquerque Isotopes will use humidor balls at home game starting in 2013.

The balls -- which counteract the elevation and lack of humidity in places like Denver and Albuquerque -- have been used by the Rockies since 2002 and were sent down to the Triple-A Colorado Springs in 2012. Albuquerque, elevation 5,300, still isn't as high as Colorado Spring (6,531 at the Sky Sox's stadium), but Dodgers management is hopeful it will bring down ERAs and boost confidence for their young pitchers.

Making the announcement on MLB Network radio, De Jon Watson, the Dodgers' vice president of player development said:

Contrary to what I've seen at least 10 people lament on Twitter today alone, the "Harlem Shake" dance craze isn't going anywhere just yet. As it pertains to baseball, we already showed you a bunch of college and high school teams that created a "Harlem Shake" videos. We also challenged an MLB team to join, and one has: The Arizona Diamondbacks. Behold!

If you're not up on this "Harlem Shake" thing, it's been pegged as the next "Gangnam Style," so load up on rations, this could another long, suffering fad. The videos feature 15 seconds of one person dancing, followed by 15 seconds of a whole group of people going absolutely nuts, the weirder the better. It's all set to "Harlem Shake" by dance music producer Bauuer (this has nothing to do, however, with the musical moonlightings of Indians pitcher Trevor Bauer).

(Getty Images)Just when it seemed like Detroit Tigers' ace Justin Verlander's life was so perfect, alleged girlfriend/confirmed hottie Kate Upton goes on TV and says "I'm single."

To a Detroit TV station. On Valentine's Day, no less.

That's what you get for going to spring training, bro. Out of sight, out of mind.

Watch as Miss Upton answers the question while looking supremely annoyed:

(AP)

(Warning: This post might include heavy product placement.)

It's a story many young ballplayers from foreign countries frequently tell: No matter the amount of money they might carry, their confidence in English is so low when they come to the United States, all they eat is McDonald's because fast food is easier to memorize and pronounce.

That might be part of the reason right-hander Yu Darvish (whose English reportedly is good, even though he relies on a translator for baseball interviews) is taking new teammate A.J. Pierzynski to the Golden Arches for dinner. MLB.com's T.R. Sullivan reports they can chat up the Texas Rangers over some Big Macs:

"We talked about where he's going to eat tonight," Pierzynski said. "McDonald's. He's taking me to McDonald's."

The joy in Pierzynski's voice is palpable, even if you only read his comments. But Darvish is merely saying "When in Rome..." It's also possible he has scouted Pierzynski and knows of his work with the White Sox — only, not on the field:

Well, well, well, this week's Trevor Bauer saga just got a lot more interesting ... and rhymey.

Making the rounds is a new song from Bauer's rap group, Consummate 4Sight called "You Don't Know Me," which has some sharply worded rhymes when you consider Bauer's turmoil with ex-teammate Miguel Montero.

Montero said earlier this week that Bauer, among other things, didn't listen to Montero when he was his catcher with the Arizona Diamondbacks. Bauer has since been traded to the Cleveland Indians. Which leads us to this song ...

"You Don't Know Me" was posted online on Wednesday. But MLB.com's Jordan Bastian reports that Bauer recorded the song in December, which is when he was traded.