Ah, the verbal phenomenon that is former Epic man and Gears of War co-creator Cliff Bleszinski. In today's exciting episode, Bleszinski goes to town on Volition's Saints Row series, commenting that it could "give GTA a run for their money" providing it dispenses with certain... protuberances.
Cheers to Dualshockers for pointing us toward a recent Twitter salvo, which begins: "Saints Row. Keep the crazy action and game mechanics. Lose the gimps and dildos and purple suits.
"The SR team is one of the few that could actually give GTA a run for their money. BF didn't go after COD by putting dicks on their guns. Yes, I think the dildo is hilarious. (I also had a big dildo as a prop in our wedding's photo booth.) It doesn't help industry perceptions."
"Game mechanic wise I found SR3 to be more fun than many recent GTA games," the man recalls. "Controls, pacing, etc... are all great." However, "once you put a dildo in your game it doesn't matter if your controls, pacing, graphics are all great. You're 'that game with the dildo.'"
Hands up if you'd play a Battlefield game that has gun-mounted dicks. I would. I'd also hate Saints Row to lose its aptitude for the absurd. But that's just little old me, and I'm not the man behind Gears of War.
Reading this, Cliff? Let's you and I have an old-fashioned comments thread throwdown. Log can referee.
34 comments so far...
Mendes on 25 Jan '13 said:
Big holes (hehehe... holes!!) in his argument I'm afraid....
Though I've not played SR other than in demo form, immaturity (read : fun), surely is what defines the games... if they make SR4 more like Michael Mann/HEAT/Collateral/Training Day it would alienate their current demographic who would cry out "It's gone all serious!!!" just as many people did with GTA on IVs release.
And am I the only one who remembers that GTA (San Andreas, and maybe before I think) did the dildo thing first! There was a purple one in the cop station shower room which could be used as bludgeoning weapon.
And yes Ed, as for Battlefield, I would like a big veiny one mounted on a heavy machine gun that wobbles threatingly while firing.... or even better could be use to stab like a bayonnet.
Can I also say, I'd like sticky testical grenades too please.
OXM ETboy on 25 Jan '13 said:
Seems pretty legit, given that most shooters give you two grenades to start with. Zing!
Mendes on 25 Jan '13 said:
Yes, we could call them Grenads.
OXM ETboy on 25 Jan '13 said:
Counter-zing!
In related news... https://twitter.com/Jason_Rubin/status/ ... 4422831104
FishyGinger on 25 Jan '13 said:
I was about to say this was all a bit to weird even for me but that, squire, was genus.
Plamsa wing on 25 Jan '13 said:
Tut tut, those sex toys, at it again I see
Edit: I'm actually disappoined in the lack of Carry On-esque remarks in the article Ed. Looks like I'll just have to stick to people talking about how much snow they've got.
SilentDark on 25 Jan '13 said:
Dear Mr Bleszinski
In regards to your comment that "If your average guy is embarrassed to be playing a sequence in a game when his wife walks in that's a bad sign," might I respectfully suggest that any such man should hand in his man cards to the nearest real man he can find
In seriousness though if my missus walks in on me smacking fifty shades of grey out of a cop with a three foot dildo and has something to say about she can just find another guy with no testicles. However, my missus is awesome and she wouldn't mind at all, I also don't see why I would be embarrassed by a game that I bought. If you are too embarrassed by a game to play it in the presence of your significant other, you should probably stick to Fluffy Bunnykins Happy Fun Time World 2 or something.
Saint's Row isn't just a GTA game with the serial numbers filed off, it provides an alternative to GTA, I'm currently playing The Third and absolutely loving it, if it were just a GTA clone I'd probably have gotten bored by now.
FishyGinger on 25 Jan '13 said:
I can vouch for that, it's a great game but they sort of pigeon-holed themselves with the dlc for it, Fluffer. Now they have to go down the porn route.
msbhvn on 25 Jan '13 said:
Cliffy B is talking out of his butt-crack. The reason Saints Row is so successful is that GTA IV went down the more serious route, and a lot of people hated that. Saints Row started out as a GTA clone and has since struck out in a different direction than GTA has. To go back to being a mere GTA clone would be a huge mistake.
CunningSmile on 25 Jan '13 said:
I've not played Fluffer, is it any good? Really enjoyed Amphibian Adventures but thought the Bunnykins Bonanza pack was a little over priced and didn't really add anything new
LuRcH18489 on 25 Jan '13 said:
"will you start the faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaans please" OMG OMG LOVED THT CRYSTAL MAZE REFERANCE IN THT VID XD XD XD XD
FishyGinger on 25 Jan '13 said:
It was alright, it was a kinect only add on in which you had to stimulate, well I won't spoil it.
Plamsa wing on 25 Jan '13 said:
You guys not played Meow: Kung Fu Kitten? It has one the best combat systems I've ever seen, unfortunately the story left a lot to be desired and the grahpics were subpar compared to the previous game, Boxer Dogs: Hounds in Grey.
Jabraham on 25 Jan '13 said:
I absolutely hated saint row 3. It was god awful and coming off of saints row 2 which is one of my favourite games it was such a let down. i think SR2 had the perfect balance of being serious but over the top at the same time and had real missions plus a story which i felt was lacking in SR3 and the story that was there was piss poor. i think as long as they make a good next game i can probably forget SR3
Grummy on 25 Jan '13 said:
These all sound like expansions for Naughty Bear.
I really don't have much to add here, it's all been said. Cliffy B wants to turn SR into a new GTA clone, which means it stops being Saint's Row. Saint's Row thrives on the ludicrous, it lives and dies on its fanbase enjoying its great gameplay and its hilarious antics. For my money, it's BETTER than GTA because it's NOT GTA.
It doesn't need to 'beat' GTA, it has nothing to prove, they're not in direct competition, they compliment each other and give players a choice if they prefer one or the other like I do. They're not released in the same window, they're not fighting each other for sales and neither should they be. Why make SR more like GTA just to 'beat' it when it serves no purpose? SR is fun, successful and popular based on being what it is. Let SR be SR.
Metalrodent on 25 Jan '13 said:
Agreed, especially as GTA5 seems to mark a return to a more 'light hearted' (relatively speaking) exerience.
SR4 would need to be more deep though, repetative mini games should not be half the basis of an open world game. A more beefy physics system and interesting game world (eg. improved civillian ai) would be nice too
Xbox11 on 25 Jan '13 said:
Dildos or not , I thought the game was shit , I wouldn't be bothered if it had David Cameron doing his mum in it , Games need more than just shock value to stand up at get noticed. The only people that get shocked by crap like that are Americans anyway . Us lot just say whatever, Put the kettle on and change the game for something less shit , Like Skyrim!
Andrew Mullins on 25 Jan '13 said:
With all due respect, I think that most of the commentators here have never played the second game. I agree that you can't get too serious but you can't get too over the top either. The second game had balance of both. It had humor but it also had great characters, fun and challenging missions, and awesome side missions that the third game didn't have. It also had better bosses that the current game didn't have either. I have to agree with Bleszinski on this here.
Alexaown on 26 Jan '13 said:
If anybody wants a game with decent sex scenes. Play The Witcher 2. Ive never seen such good sex in a game that includes a half woman half goat. (succumbus)
EdDeRs1 on 26 Jan '13 said:
however if the next SR keeps the dildos and shit, but puts Bruce motherf**king Campbell in it, it will stop being "that game with dildos" and turn into "THAT GAME WITH BRUCE motherf**king CAMPBELL IN IT!!!!!!!!"
and Mr. Campbell's role would be that of a zombie exterminator (himself) brought in to bring the zombie population from SR3 down to size, and do it while being more awesome than the entire cast put together and with his trusty Chainsaw Hand and Boom Stick
Alaric14 on 27 Jan '13 said:
Who says Saints Row needs to beat GTA? Saints Row looks pretty damned healthy from where I'm standing. Do a few errant sex toys really make the difference between being taken seriously next to a sandbox crime thriller, when you already have a bloke in a shiny suit with a cat's head, Mayor Burt Reynolds, zombies, and flying tanks?
In the world of Cliff Bleszinski, this would appear to be the case. Better keep him away from the Chip and Dales exhibit in Madame Tussauds.
Grummy on 27 Jan '13 said:
http://media.comicvine.com/uploads/3/35258/861595-chipndale_super.jpg
CunningSmile on 28 Jan '13 said:
It looks pretty healthy apart from it's owners going bust?
Personally I really liked SR2 but playing SR3 round a friends I couldn't get more than an hour into it. The second was fun, but I just found the third juvenile.
FishyGinger on 28 Jan '13 said:
I had my doubts but you really are an accountant
CunningSmile on 28 Jan '13 said:
They train us long and hard for these sorts of searing financial insights
FishyGinger on 28 Jan '13 said:
We need you to sort out the economy. I thought about it but the first lecture on accountancy was buy low, sell high. I just couldn't get my brain orb around that one.
CunningSmile on 28 Jan '13 said:
By the sounds of things you skipped the foundation level so no wonder you got lost! We start much slower than that. Lesson one: Money = Good
FishyGinger on 28 Jan '13 said:
I'm always doing that. I started my course with newtons 1st law and completely missed his zeroth law and now physics doesn't work properly for me. Quite annoying really.
Alaric14 on 29 Jan '13 said:
Ah, well yes, there is that. The brand retains consumer interest, though, and the same people will often buy GTA. The silliness of Saints Row is what I love about it; brainless sugary action goodness, foul language, adult content - sometimes I just get a craving for that stuff.
And no, Grummy, not those Chip and Dale's. Is it me or were cartoons much better in our formative years?
CunningSmile on 29 Jan '13 said:
I was 12 when Chip 'N Dale Rescue Rangers started so does that still count as formative? I'm a big fan of those late '80s and early '90s Disney cartoons though as they just seemed to reach a nice balance of kid/adult entertainment. Particularly like Tail Spin and Gargoyles.
FishyGinger on 29 Jan '13 said:
Chip N' Dale was great, as was tailspin. No memory of gargoyle though...
CunningSmile on 29 Jan '13 said:
No one remembers it, which is why I'm still waiting for Vol 3 to come out on DVD
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gargoyles_(TV_series)
Alaric14 on 29 Jan '13 said:
I remember it! Good series, pretty dark, but X-men was the best and darkest of the animated series. 12 years old is about as formative as we get. Before that life is all good as long as we can roll down a grassy hill on a warm summer's day.
CunningSmile on 29 Jan '13 said:
All five seasons of the X-men cartoon are on Lovefilm to stream. I've been very happy