The Scorchers is the most audacious punchline ever. It's like id asked you "hey, what's the secret of comedy?" at a Halloween party. Then, fourteen months later, at 2am on Christmas Day, your mobile rings. You panic. Who calls anyone at this time of night, on Christmas? Worried that you're about to suffer a harrowing Eastenders festive bereavement, you accept the call. It's John Carmack. He whispers the word "timing", and hangs up.
Timing: it's not only the secret to comedy, it's the secret to profitable DLC. As much as we love to complain about it, there's a reason publishers release Day 1 DLC. That's when people buy it. Generally speaking, after three months, no-one's interested. 14 months later? Who's going to care?
Then I put in Disc Two. It was exactly like Kill Bill Part Two had been an animated gif of a dog in a swing. That is the perfect anaology. But for ten, fifteen hours, RAGE was a heaven of bullets, rockets, and buggies.
The hyperactive afterpocalypse comedy of Borderlands 2 is so fresh in the mind, that going back to RAGE now is a wonderfully po-faced affair. You forget how serious this is. Even the comedy characters, like the grotesque Mutant Bash game-show host JK Stiles, don't do jokes. The closest you get is the barks of the gang members.
The first psycho NPC bark you hear is "This place needs decorating... with blood!" Can you imagine writing that line, and sniggering behind your hand while the voice actors come in to read it out? Then demanding the actors said it again, but this time like they meant it? Luckily, the game never breaks into a smile itself, even with inexplicable cockney accents screaming "get the wanker!" RAGE generously lets you laugh at it, instead of with it. The fourth wall provides perfect cover.
There are better reasons to love RAGE, without being an ironic snidey-pants. Although some of the textures look blotchy up-close, something had to give with the sheer scale of the landscapes, and the rich, buttery smooth frame rates. RAGE looks magnificent, and makes me hungry for the next Xbox, when we can legitimately start ragging fiercely on all games that aren't this slick.
RAGE lets you make mistakes. Mid-mission checkpoints are maddeningly sparse, but you can save whenever you like. Towns don't have mini-maps, and the levels are designed to trick you into circles, forcing you to explore properly. If you want to wander into a mission with too little ammo, you can - but you'll probably have to abort your mission and head back to town. There's no fast travel, either - but that's OK, because the vehicles are fast enough, and you'll be distracted by fights and comet showers on the way.
12 comments so far...
DarthTwitch on 20 Dec '12 said:
Nailgun? I'm sold.
Uh...anyone got a Disc 1 I can borrow?
msbhvn on 20 Dec '12 said:
Yay, DLC that's good value for money. I'm going to buy it, even though I haven't touched RAGE yet.
Wadium_Arcadium on 20 Dec '12 said:
Well you can't accuse them of holding content back for DLC.
PonderingWalrus on 20 Dec '12 said:
I would get this if I still had the game, without a doubt.
lawsond28 on 20 Dec '12 said:
Darth, I'd just buy a second copy of the game if I were you. You'll pick it up on eBay for less than the pint of a pint of cheap import lager these days. It always amazes me how some games have almost no 2nd hand value. Rage is one of them. Other examples are Bioshock 2 and Deus Ex. If you see these on sell on eBay for more than £3 you've been a witness to a freak event. What's the deal with that? Suggestions on a post-card please.
Plamsa wing on 20 Dec '12 said:
I don't mind that it "took so long" to come out, most games release their DLC too fast, i.e Borderlands 2.
It gives me a chance to put this down, play other games, then come back to this a year later, rather than just not put it down at all and ignore the games I have at the time left unfinished. Sure the game just ended without explanation, but at least the game it self was pretty darn good and it'll be great to play it again.
There actually isn't anything wrong with bringing DLC out a year later, especially when it's so cheap.
schwepterbrowser on 20 Dec '12 said:
This makes me want to give Rage a go, guessing you'd all recommend the game? DLC reactions seem positive.
DarthTwitch on 20 Dec '12 said:
Yeah, but I only need Disc 1...I own the game, but Disc 1 has gone walkies. (Sigh) I'll hunt around my tiny-ass flat once more, but I'm starting to fear the iD pixies have been at it.
I know what you mean about the second-hand value, though - I bought Borderlands 2 brand-new (one of the only games I've bought brand-new since the 360 came out, oddly enough) and I sold it just a few months later. Got a pittance for it. Aside from the odd game I MUST have on-release (Like BioShock Infinite will be), ALL of my games are pre-owned. Who the Hell can afford new games these days? Clue: Not me
comabob on 20 Dec '12 said:
RAGE is and was awesome while it lasted. The ending sucked and was clearly rushed but the joourney was awesome.
One of the best examples of First Person Gunplay ive ever played.
Im gonna add RAGE to my lovefilm list and buy the dlc - ID deserve my 400points.
vadersmyfather on 27 Dec '12 said:
RAGE is an odd one price wise. It was discounted in many stores to £25 within a week of release.
Albie175 on 28 Dec '12 said:
Just picked up a brand new copy of Rage at Sainsburys for 4.99!
Sandbwoy on 15 Jan '13 said:
With some DLC, I've preferred to wait until a game is re-released as a GOTY edition or something similar, and then buy the game again with all the DLC packaged in one box. But this is tempting me. Especially with the low price.