5 Alternative Careers For Guys Who Can't Deal With An Office

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"Sure, some guys are made to put on a button-down and make nice with HR. But some guys really, really aren't."

Regardless of your feelings about the state of men in 2012, the undeniable and sobering truth is that it's an adapt-or-die environment out there on the job market. And that probably won't change in 2013. For a lot of guys, adaptation to a white-collar workplace is simply not an option. A generation ago, these guys would have been able to find work in the manufacturing sector, but those jobs have long since began to trickle out (or, you know, be sucked out through the Hoover of globalization, but we digress) and are now overseas.

Today's job-seeking man would be forgiven for thinking he has two choices: Put up with the social dynamics of the white-collar workforce, which don't exactly align with the way a lot of guys are inclined to work, or go to work in the customer service hell-region that is the service industry. Sure, some guys are made to put on a button-down and make nice with HR. But some guys really, really aren't.

So what to do if none of the above is your cup of Bloody Mary? What if you just aren’t the type of guy who can adapt to that kind of environment? Well, I’m here to help. The crack investigative team here at AskMen and I have put together a list of five alternatives for men who aren’t ready or willing to take the white-collar plunge. I’m not arrogant or ignorant enough to try to tell you that these are the kind of things you can decide to do over the weekend, but they are very real and very viable.

1- Join the military (or at least the Reserves)

Yes, getting shot at and being the target of IEDs is definitely dangerous. But if you have a college degree, you can enlist straight into OCS. The U.S. presence in Middle East is winding down, so the chances of being shipped overseas is still very real but decreasing. The upside? Not only will you spend time in an environment that is absolutely nothing like a modern office, but if you decide to come back into the corporate world, veterans are highly prized for their leadership skills and ability to handle pressure.

2- Join the Peace Corps

Not only are you working for a good cause, but you’ll travel to some far-flung places and gain a unique worldview. Similar to the military, your leadership skills and ability to manage limited resources look attractive on employment and grad school applications. Plus, certain kinds of girls go crazy for Peace Corps guys.

3- Start a business (yes, really)

Yes, this sounds like the kind of coy suggestion you’d expect to see in some fluff piece on one of those content aggregation sites. I know that starting a business isn’t like planting a tree and watching it grow, but no one’s asking you to drop everything to chase your dreams. Plenty of businesses require little in the way of startup costs and have virtually no barriers to entry. For instance, take a weekend to visit local businesses and offer to manage their social media and directory presence for free. If it works out, you have an established clientele and startup costs that consist of a website and business cards. If you don’t like the idea of working for someone else in an environment you didn’t design, you can’t get much further away from that than working for yourself.

4- Learn a trade on the side

If diving headfirst into a world fraught with danger and poverty doesn’t sound like your cup of whisky, consider enduring life at your soul-sucking job while learning a more attractive trade in your spare time. Think your IT guy has it pretty sweet? That’s because he does. He gets paid well and is largely sheltered from the kind of client-facing circle jerks that make your life miserable. The same goes for learning the skills necessary to be a mechanic, electrician or plumber. As with any career, those guys have their own headaches, but I can guarantee you they don’t consist of trying not to murder everyone in the room while Becky from the communications work stream gives another BS excuse for why her team’s action items aren’t on track at the weekly PMO meeting.

5- Plant trees in Northern Canada

According to the editorial team at AskMen’s HQ in the Great White North, this is a very real and very awesome sounding thing. It’s apparently a rite of passage for a certain type of Canadian man (though you need not be Canadian), and you can make more than $10K in two months of piece work if you’re strong enough, after you've gotten the hang of it for a season or two. That’s right -- there’s actually a job that rewards us handsomely for taking all of James Fell’s weightlifting advice to heart. One of my editors even knows of men who have put themselves through law school this way. You know what kind of guy women fantasize about? A burly, wealthy, lumberjacking lawyer, that’s what. There are a handful of reforestation companies out there, but you can start your research here.

So there you have it. This list is obviously not exhaustive, and, again, I don’t claim that any of these suggestions are frivolous or easily pursued. But when you’re at your wits’ end, it’s nice to know that there are other options out there, and that you’re not alone. Have ideas of your own? Leave them in the comments section, because we’re all ears. Or eyes, or whatever. You know what I mean.