Happy (belated) Holidays And How New Super Mario Bros. U Ripped Me A New One.

Hello Destructoid, it's such a great feeling to see your beautiful faces again.

I've recently received a laptop from ol' grammy grams, so obviously the first thing I do is write on my favorite website on planet earth made by humans with large dongs.

So allow me to tell you about my holiday.

On the final day of school before winter break, My pal Dylan and I proceeded to break school rules in the most beautiful way. We got a whole bunch of people in a computer lab instead of class and proceeded to have a 16-person LAN match of Counter-Strike 1.6.



A picture of the CS match in question. Not pictured: The single Indian tear rolling down my face.

After I made my French II final my bitch, I rested for the holidays.

Days came and went. Snow still didn't fall, because you know, fuckin' Tennessee.

The supposed end of the world extravaganza passed, and I drank a lot of eggnog and had tummy aches. The days right before Christmas were very peaceful and fun, and Christmas eve passed with a general feeling of content.

And then it happened.

I got a Wii U.


A big boy (me) and his brother with a magic box. Not pictured: The sinking realization that I'll have no friends to play with for a while. Shit.


I was so excited. This is the thing I've been most excited for since it was announced at E3 about two years ago. I had my fair share of doubts and skepticism, but it's here in my hands. It was an unbelievable feeling.

Obviously the first two big launch games I got were New Super Mario Bros. U and NintendoLand. (I'll talk about this one in another blog post) This was another thing I was a bit skeptical about, but slowly realized that these are two very good games that, while not entirely worth it, are good enough to tide me over until the next big Nintendo game blows my shit away.

The Wii U is a success when it comes to my family. It's being used every day by all members of the household, whether it be for Netflix and Hulu, some gaming, or for it's internet browser and Miiverse. Especially the Willem Dafoe Miiverse.


My favorite Dafoe picture in all of Miiverse. Not pictured: Me realizing Miiverse is possibly the greatest venue of creative comedy in recent memory. Gotdamn.

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Hey, why not include a review-ish thing in here too?



New Super Mario Bros. U is the first Mario launch title in a long time, and while it's not exactly the next Super Mario Galaxy or Super Mario Sunshine, it's still an immensely satisfying and beautiful game.

The first thing many notice about the game is "HOLY BEAVER TITS, HD." and you'd be right. Holy beaver tits indeed. When I found out about a 2D Mario game issuing in an age of HD for Nintendo, I was a little disappointed, but it's easy to see how much work went into this game. The game is a 2D sidescroller and looks wonderful. There is an immense amount of detail put into all the environments and enemies.

The music is also great, although it's typical Mario music, I'm still happy with it. It's all the booty-bumpin', turtle-twerkin' goodness you're used to. I'm very satisfied with how this game looks and sounds.



The game is also dick-crushingly hard. Now, hold on for a second. I know this game is probably easy as shit for people that have grown up with the series, and while I have grown up with Mario, I started at Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Sunshine. So I'm boss as fuck at the 3D Mario games, but the 2D ones never cease to tear my shit up. I'm just not very good at them.

With that said, the fact that I farmed lives like a motherfucker and stumbled my way to see this:



was an amazing feat for myself. I was so damn proud that I finished this motherfucker and smacked Bowser's buster ass to oblivion that I actually yelled "YES!" like a toddler that just ate a good fuckin' cookie.

Then I found out about Star Road.

Fuck that. No. Let me revel in my victory.

So I'll get back to you, NSMBU.

Good show, Nintendo. Good show.

Now where the hell is Super Smash Bros?

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I fucking love you, Destructoid and if this laptop holds up, expect many more blogs on here from me to you.

-Nicky