I have a thing. Well two things. That I shall be willing to give to you folks. I have 2 codes for the Lego: Batman 2 villains dlc. Im getting these through my gstop powerups, so they are available for ps3 and 360. Your choice. I believe the pack retails for $5.





Normally I ask you folks to make me laugh. Well that shit hasn't changed, so fuck off. I need a good, hearty laugh. Not chuckle, LAUGH. Use any means you wish, i.e. joke, picture, photoshop, drawing, link to a video, etc. Just follow dtoid's rules for posting such things. I don't want anyone getting banned for this. By all means don't keep it clean though. Contest will end Monday the 19th.

Some rules do apply:
Contest void to mormons, NC residents, anyone who owns a Street Kings 2 dvd, Smurfee McGee's stupid blue face, the undead, hippies, undead hippies, dogs with 3 legs and people who wear dog tags, that weren't servicemen/women.

Greetings PAX goers. Recently M Randy Dixon (heh) posted a blog, about adopting people avatars and taking them to PAX. Well, I'm here to offer a bulleted list as to why you should adopt mine.



- Since I was a wee lass, I've dreamed of going to an event, but due to work/kids/etc. I've never been able to pull it off. Think of the children dammit.

- My avatar is almost as sexy as me. Seriously, ole Philsy is one sexy man. Capable of attracting both sexes and sealing the deal.



- People like me. People like my avatar. There's a bit of an everyman in my avatar. He is a humble, kind and caring character.



- Jesus may or may not love me. That one's up in the air atm.

- My avatars figure comes with a bear. A fucking awesome bear.



- Seriously love that bear.

- My avatar printed on paper, is capable of curing rare disease's, if ingested under a full moon, while wearing scooby doo underoos. I think.

- My avatar is capable of personal defense and excels at the use of firearms, much like myself.



- The guy doesn't get out much. He just sits on my desk, staring at me, while quietly crying. Manly tears of course. But c'mon, help the guy make some friends.

- If engaged in a battle with Mr. Destructoid, my avatar would bow out. Not out of respect, but to quietly wait for a better opportunity to kill from afar. Who would fight a robot overlord hand to hand? A fucking moron, that's who.

- He got that thing you sent him.



- Cocks

- Because you love me and know I'll give you a mean handy/fingering for doing this.


Well, I have given you very good, noble reasons for adopting my avatar. Hopefully you see the common sense in undertaking my adoption. It would be pretty cool to see some awesome pics of ole Phil chilling at PAX, with some even awesomer Dtoiders. Thank you for your time and remember:

So my free games post from last night was quick and dirty. I was tired and after 3 games and minimal writing I got lazy. Tonight I strive not to fix that. Soooooo, who wants some free stuff?






First off, thanks to taterchimp soooooo damn much. Tater provided me a link to download Ark-22, which I breifly wrote about last night, but couldn't find a link to. Originally released in 2005 or 2006 and built on gamemaker, Ark-22 is a blast.





Ark-22 is an old school (think ALTtP) action-rpg. It has good length (around 12 hours or so, if you're the curious type) and is a lot of fun to play. The writing is pretty damn good, and the world is nicely detailed. I highly recommend giving it a shot.


Neptune's Pride





Neptune's Pride is almost like the long lost days of e-mail games. You don't have to be constantly on it, just log in once in awhile. Problem is, once you're hooked that doesn't happen. You will end up monitoring your fleet all the time and plotting backstabs and the next planet or system to conquer. It is a web based game so all you need is a log-in (you can use your google one) and off you go, you 4x loving sob. Perfect for work or school downtime. Self created or otherwise. Start your empire here.


Wing Commander Saga





Built as a mod for Freespace 2 originally and then becoming it's own stand-alone thing. Saga brings back some good ole WC. Not much to say other than that really. I highly recommend playing prologue first, which can be found here, while the full game, can be found here.


Prime Minister's Questions





An amusing little game that reminds me of insult sword fighting. It's a decent time waster, I enjoyed more for novelty than anything else. Worth checking out for sure, if you have even a passing interest in such things.


Alright, well between the two blogs I've done this week about free shit, I am done.






You want more? Fucking find it yourself ;p. Check out Kongregate, Adult Swim Games, Indie DB, Newgrounds all that easy to find stuff. There is a ton of free games out there, that are worth your time, if you look and research, not just flash stuff (of which there are SOME good ones). I don't now if any of you saw the La Mulana review today, but I'm off to play that. If you're interested, you can find the original here. This wiki should help.

Hi....

How you doing?

Want some free stuff meng? First taste is always freeeeeeeheheheheeee.





I'm back folks. From outer space. I got some free pc games to recommend this time. Not sure if this will be a series or what, but hopefully some folks get some enjoyment out these. Alright let's do this.


Action Fist




An oldy but a goody. Action Fist harkens back to Gunstar and Contra days. You hard/wet yet? You should be. I got this at the same time I picked up Spelunky and Ninja Senki. Like those two, I still play to this day. I love this damn game. Eye patch lady is the best too. AF can be found here.


SCP-087




Mentioned by Jim Sterling today I checked this out. What I found is something just as tense and IMO more scary than Slender. I just played for 30m and I believe I need some fresh draws (I've never typed that slang out before, hrmmm). If the crying doesn't set the mood (We all know it's better when they cry), than the claustrophobic stairs and freaky creatures will. Lights off, sound up (headphones if ya can). Start your pants soiling adventure here.


Tiny Barbarian




First off FUCK! I really wanted to write about Ark 22. A really awesome arpg in the vein of ALTtP, but I cant find a way to download it. Its like its gone from the internet. I will update when/if I find it.

Alright, Tiny Barbarian. It may be a runner up, but it's a pretty fun one. Sword swings are fluent, graphics are nice (for a retro) and it's pretty damn fun and challenging. Find it here.


That's all the hipster freebies I got for ya this week. I hope you enjoy and see you all for some capping this weekend.

No this isn't a contest. I would like to draw attention to a couple of games that are completely free. First up is Madfingers second android outing: Dead Trigger. It's a zombie FPS, that plays almost like a horde mode, has bite sized missions and rpg lite elements. It runs off of a semi f2p economy, but you can earn everything and endlessly play missions without having to spend a dime.





As you can see, she's a looker. Designed for Tegra 3 devices, it looks stunning. Even running on low settings with my HTC Sensation, it looks damn good. Controls are handled well and I actually play it almost every day.





Sad thing about Dead Trigger being free, is that it was only made free due to cocksuckers. Originally the game cost $1. One whole fucking dollar. Due to rampant piracy, Madfinger made it free. That really pisses me off. They are a talented team (they also made Shadowgun) and deserve to be paid. I hope they are able to continue develop on android, because I like their games.


Dead Trigger can be obtained (legally) from https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.madfingergames.deadtrigger (Wouldn't let me link it)



Next up is the beta of Unepic.




Unepic is an indie 2D metroidvania, semi-roguelike. You excited yet? This game has had me hooked since I looked it up in the new Indie Royale Bundle this morning. It's fantastic, here is the dtoid review. I had completely forgotten this game existed until today and am sorry I did. Maybe it worked out though, as a lot of things have been patched and tweaked. Besides, look at this boss fight:





Awwww yeah. The full version can be unlocked in-game, or you can buy that awesome royale bundle and get a few other awesome games, such as Oniken. DO IT. But here's the link for Unepic's beta.

Well, have fun folks.

Once again, I have some crap for you. My PS3's hdd gave out, so this is useless to me.




What must you do? Same as last time. I'll settle for a good, hearty laugh. That's right, make me laugh. Not chuckle, LAUGH. Use any means you wish, i.e. joke, picture, photoshop, drawing, link to a video, etc. Just follow dtoid's rules for posting such things. I don't want anyone getting banned for this. By all means don't keep it clean though.





I'll announce the winner on Tuesday. Good luck.



Some rules may apply: Contest void to flappy headed canadians (regular heads are ok), People named Smurfee McGee (tiny, blue demon bastard) and anyone named Lance IRL. Code may not be used on any account, except a NA PSN account (that one's real).