Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Dishonored: The Onion

By Alec Meer on October 8th, 2012 at 7:00 pm.

I want Samuel the boatman to be my uncle

There’s going to be a backlash against Dishonored. It can’t be helped: when a game makes big promises, a justice squad will quickly arise to loudly demand that it accounts for not meeting them to the very letter, and in this case I suspect there’s an additional flock of people who have been led by marketing to expect an all-out action game. I can predict, even sympathise with, some of the complaints, others I suspect will be absolutely mystifying to me. It’s the finest hour in what we might loosely but innacurately term ‘blockbuster shooters’ in years – I’d feel petulant were I to demand it give me even more. But there is one complaint that may reach a crescendo in short order, and that is the issue of length. For me, Dishonored was a deliciously long game, clocking in at about 25 hours even without the total replay I intend on having very soon. For someone else – someone who has a lot of numbers in the name they use when playing Halo 4, say – it will be insultingly short. It may not even make a double figures quantity of hours. That’s not the game’s fault, it’s theirs (or, perhaps, the fault of the marketeers who sold the game as an action opus). They gobbled the onion up whole, too greedy or too lazy or too accustomed to inflexible fare to peel apart its layers.

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Cold Steel: East Vs West – A Hearts Of Iron Game

By Adam Smith on October 8th, 2012 at 6:00 pm.

I love maps and I love horror, but is it possible for a map to be frightening? Defcon says ‘yes, they most certainly can’, and then the next thing it says is a a sequence of numbers, a countdown, a terrible unnerving countdown. Maps communicate events and some events, nuclear war being a notable example, are certainly the stuff of horror. Today, Paradox announced a new Hearts of Iron game, East Vs West, which takes place between 1946 and 1991. All nations are playable and there are “a host of tense features, from taking issues in front of the UN Security Council to nervously watching the game’s Doomsday clock.” The horror. Large words and historical footage make up the trailer below.

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Sunder Lizards: Primal Carnage Beta Open

By Adam Smith on October 8th, 2012 at 5:00 pm.

Dinosaurs versus heavily armed people. It’s a tale as old as time, with a clear artistic through line that begins in the cave paintings of Mann-Shüt, which depicted heroic cavefolk firing rocks at armies of marauding velociraptors, and ends with Primal Carnage. It’s an online PvP game that allows players to bite their enemies in half, although presumably only if they choose to be a dinosaur. I’d quite like to see a squad of hunters chewing through a brontosaurus’ neck but I just don’t imagine it’s included. Only those who have preordered receive beta access now and even though the official site isn’t reporting the launch yet, players are receiving keys right now. Here’s a video.

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I Can’t Think Of A Headline Gag: Harvey’s New Eyes

By Alec Meer on October 8th, 2012 at 4:00 pm.

I also can't think of a caption. I'm going to blame writing 4000 words about XCOM

John mostly didn’t like one of the earlier Edna & Harvey point and click adventure games very much, but then other things John doesn’t like include Bath Spa’s loveliest cinema, dancing and -REDACTED- so what does he know? (Quite a lot when it comes to adventure games, actually). He saw some promise though, and perhaps that will be the case in this new Edna & Harvey game, and though I can tell you absolutely nothing of use about it I want to post about it purely because the subtitle HARVEY’S NEW EYES made me giggle for reasons I don’t entirely understand. Also, a local brewery is called Harvey’s, and for a moment I thought I was getting a press release about a new ale called Eyes. I would totally drink Eyes. I would also totally love it if breweries sent me ales to review. I’ll find an excuse to do it on RPS, I swear it!
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Ghost Town: World of Warcraft’s Accidental Genocide

By Alec Meer on October 8th, 2012 at 3:00 pm.

Dear Mum, today I work I had to search for pictures of dead gnomes

No-one’s immune to hacking, and the bigger they are the harder they fall (but more quickly they recover, given the megabucks, etc). Over the weekend, someone manage to slip a knife into World of Warcraft’s ribs, finding an exploit that allowed the usually near-invincible NPCs inhabiting the capital cities of Stormwind and Ogrimmar to become as weak as asthmatic kitten (though this was done by by the exploiting players accessing kill commands, not the NPCs actually being weakened). Slaughter inevitably followed.
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A Chip To The Past: FM 2013 Classic Mode

By Adam Smith on October 8th, 2012 at 2:00 pm.

Anyone without an interest in foot-to-ball management should watch the five videos below, simply so that they can bolster their disdain for the people who do enjoy such arcane pursuits. The videos contain details of Football Manager 2013′s new Classic Mode, an alternative method of staring at numbers and tiny men hoofing a ball that doesn’t require an entire lifetime to play. For the uninitiated, the promise of a simplified interface and less detail will appear laughable, perhaps even satirical, as the game is shown to be a series of screens that list names with numbers attached to them. In Classic, there are less numbers and maybe even less screens too.

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Wot I Think – XCOM: Enemy Unknown (Singleplayer)

By Alec Meer on October 8th, 2012 at 1:00 pm.

Oh dear, it turns out it’s a first-person shooter with quick-time events and checkpoints after all. Move along, nothing to see here.

No, no, rest assured Firaxis’ XCOM: Enemy Unknown is, like its 1993 predecessor X-COM: UFO Defense aka UFO: Enemy Unknown, a rich brew of turn-based strategy, base management, a sort of roleplaying and the sudden, frequent, horrible death of people you’ve developed an unhealthy fixation with, as you and your changing squad of soldiers struggle to save the Earth from alien invasion. This remake, until fairly recently, seemed like an impossibility – large publishers had lost faith that big-budget strategy games could pay for their yachts, iPads and watches heavy enough to beat a donkey to death with, and the X-COM name was sullied by spin-offs that had about as much in common with it as Hulk Hogan has with Stephen Hawking. X-COM was over, surely.

X-COM is back. I’ve waited 15 years for this, and now I can wait no more. Here’s what I think. (Note – this write-up covers singleplayer only. Thoughts on multiplayer will follow at a later date).
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Veni Vidi Vendi: Vitrum Is Out

By Adam Smith on October 8th, 2012 at 12:00 pm.

How many people reading this are waiting for Dishonored? How many for XCOM? Both? Maybe it’d be easier to ask how many people aren’t waiting for either. Let us not forget that other games have not ceased to exist and that one way to make the waiting period less agonising might well be to sample some of those games, especially if they can be sampled for free. Nathan had quite a bit to say about the demo for first-person puzzler Vitrum but we failed to point out that the full game has been released. Currently selling at a ‘pay what you want’ and support the Child’s Play charity price point (minimum $4.99), if you don’t have time for the demo the trailer might help you to decide if you want to pay anything at all.

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Hail To The Chef: Cook, Serve, Delicious Demo

By Adam Smith on October 8th, 2012 at 11:00 am.

Games have taught me quite a lot about cooking and running a restaurant, mostly that it’s all about time management. It’s absolutely fine to rush from cleaning a blocked toilet to kneading burger meat into a patty as long as it’s all done efficiently. Cook, Serve, Delicious (!) has an admirable name. I expected another verb at the end, making a full sequence of actions, but why say ‘eat’ when you can shout ‘delicious’? The game is from the makers of The Oil Blue and contains a basic management metagame wrapped around a core of juggling orders, preparing and purchasing ingredients, and trying not to become overwhelmed by gluttonous demands. There’s a demo and even a freeware game of old that this appears to be based on.

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12 People Haven’t Backed Project Eternity Yet

By Alec Meer on October 8th, 2012 at 10:00 am.

Apparently approaching $2.5 million in pledges, from almost 54,000 backers, isn’t enough for Obsidian’s Project Eternity. They absolutely will not stop, ever, until you have pledged. With rumours circulating that 12 members of the human race are yet to back this olden-values RPG, Obsidian have dispatched expert assassins known as the Ladies of Pain to every city around the globe in an attempt to locate the members of this resistance then, after long and excruciating torture, convince them to stump up $20 for an isometric roleplaying game. I haven’t backed it myself, so… wait, who’s that at my door?

While I hide underneath the table, I’ll mention that they’ve also released a bunch of new stretch goals, rewards for well-monied backers and detailed some major features such as combat, mods and classes.
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Fiddle Me This: Total War – Rome II

By Adam Smith on October 8th, 2012 at 9:03 am.

How far will you go for Rome? That’s the question asked by the new trailer for Totalest War XII: Rome II. Will you go so far as to launch the heads of statues at people as if you were the deity of ten-pin bowling? That the kind of thing Rome seems to demand. I think the word Creative Assembly would like people to use when discussing all this Carthiginian conflict is ‘epic’. I’m going to go with ‘quite big’. It looks like quite a big war, with potential to be total.

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