Curveballs Come
when life won't let up
Posted by Arwen Mosher
in Faith
on Tuesday, February 21, 2012 9:00 AM
2011 was a rough year for our family. Blessed, incredibly so, but rough. Baby twins are not for the faint of heart, and much of the year was a blur for me.
When 2012 began, my husband and I breathed a sigh of relief, because this was going to be our year. This year life would be simple and predictable - and easier as the twins got older - and we’d be able to relax and enjoy our little family.
Except then the year started throwing us curveballs. Nothing disastrous, just little or not-so-little things, one here, another there. Financial problems, logistical problems, health problems, the kind that seem manageable (if slightly worrisome) in daylight, but can seem daunting when you’re lying awake at 2:00 in the morning.
(That picture up there is of three-year-old Blaise wearing a cast. His broken arm was one of the smaller-end-of-the-scale problems 2012 has thrown us so far.)
I struggle with finding balance when life gets challenging. I tend to beat up on myself, to look at the lives of others who have it worse and tell myself I have no right to complain. But while I think perspective can be helpful, that approach has backfired on me in the past. I’ve found that the Reverse Pain Olympics (as I like to call them) end up making things worse; if I tell myself I have no right to feel worried or sad, but I have those emotions anyway, it can send me into a downward spiral of doubt and self-flagellation.
On the other hand, I don’t want to wallow, and self-pity also tends to spiral. I want to strike a balance between being aware of my blessings and processing my valid emotions about my burdens, while also making constructive decisions and continuing to be charitable toward those around me.
I tell you what: it takes a robust prayer life to pull that off. (More robust than mine is, sad to say.)
I joked to my husband that our recent life is proof that God was worried we were going to spend too much time in Purgatory. But it’s not as much of a joke as I’d like it to be; I think there’s truth in there.
We do want to become more virtuous, right? Why do we continually expect there’s an easy way to make that happen?
I’m still inwardly hoping for the last ten months of 2012 to be simple and predictable as the first two months have not been. We have to catch a break sometime. But if this turns out to be The Year of Balance and Virtue… well, I guess someday I’ll be glad for that.
(Sigh.)
How is this year treating you?
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