Sounds like a wonderful time! One piece of advice I can share from experiences with my husband’s family (he is one of 5, I only have an unmarried brother who doesn’t cook), is to assign each dinner (or any other big meal) to a person who is in charge of what to cook and how to cook it. That person becomes the “Chef” and anyone who wanders in to the kitchen to help are assistants. You’ve heard the expression, too many cooks… Also, assign a different person to be in charge of cleanup, with assistants. When a bunch of us are together with small children, we usually take on the prep and serving of breakfast and lunch by family, since kids can be so picky and it is just easier, we give each Mom a 10 minute window in the kitchen, and the adults eat off a buffet of salads or lunch meats or cereal or bagels, etc. so that everyone is generally eating together. Have a great time!
Planning a Peaceful Reunion
Posted by Lisa Hendey in Family on Thursday, July 19, 2012 10:00 AM
Greetings from the lobby of a budget hotel in Anaheim, California, where I am currently enjoying Day 1 of a ten day “family reunion” experience to celebrate my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. My Mom and Daddy, superheroes in my book, requested that in honor of this major accomplishment, we children gather together for a week here in Southern California. The whole gang will begin to assemble on Saturday, but in the mean time, Mom and I are down here enjoying a bit of a pre-reunion jaunt with one sister who wanted to take her sons to Disneyland.
As we anticipate the first time in multiple years where we will all be together (with the sad exception of my Eric, who can’t get time off to travel from New York City), I am filled with excitement. The little ones in the house will range from seventeen to seven months old. I am the eldest of five, with two sisters and two brothers. The home where we will be gathering has plenty of room for all of us, so everyone will have a bed and the setting promises to be beautiful.
Honestly, this is the first time our clan has done a “family reunion”. We have Mass planned for Sunday and a small gathering with my parents’ friends. But aside from that, we hope for a relaxed week filled with fun on the beach, family meals, games and the retelling of old stories. I know each of us are hoping for wonderful memories for our children and special time with our parents. We all get along very well, so things should run smoothly and we’ll take turns cooking and cleaning.
I’d love to hear words of wisdom from those of you who have taken similar trips with your extended families. How have you organized things like meal preparation, outings, and scheduling bedtimes? Do you have any recommendations or warnings? Please share your advice in the comments section and keep our parents—and especially my wonderful parents—in your prayers!
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My husband is one of six and we take a week’s vacation annually with all of his parents, siblings, their spouses and all the little ones (currently at 13 ranging in age from 7 months to 9 yrs in age). Each family picks a day to buy and cook breakfast and dinner, that seems to even out the cooking and the grocery bills. For lunch everyone fends for themselves. For sleeping, I always bring a fan - it provides white noise and helps block out the other little ones that are not usually quiet. During that week, we might celebrate the year’s birthdays we were unable to gather for, or anniversaries. Sometimes we go around the dinner table and ask everyone to name one thing they really appreciate about (insert family member’s name). Finally with so many people in close confines, perhaps the best advice I have is to work on one’s tolerance level.
My husband has 3 brothers, and some years ago the two oldest, their families (including married children) and ours all joined up at a resort called Sun River in Bend, OR. We were able to rent a very large house so we were all under the same roof. What really made the week go smoothly was that we joined together for dinner nightly. Most of the meals were eaten in however we did go into Bend one night and ‘take over’ one of the pizzerias We all decided what to have and a group would execute the meal and all would pitch in to clean up. One night all the men made dinner, another night the woman. It was fun. As well, the days were spent in various pursuits -one could join in or not. One day we all went rafting on the river, which made for a great bond amongst us as well. The key was a relaxed attitude to doing and participating in the daily activities, plus the coming together for a main meal (dinner) which acted like an anchor. It was one of the best times we have all had and brought this large family together even more. (We were not there over either week end so we didn’t end up celebrating mass together, though since then we’ve been at plenty of weddings and sadly, funerals.)
Just a few weeks ago, my mom’s family (grandma, eight siblings, five spouses, 11 grandkids, 6 great-grandkids) got together for a long weekend in the Black Hills of South Dakota. We rented two 5-bedroom cabins that each slept 14 people and ended up having 33 show up (anyone 7 and under “camped” in one of the living rooms). One night we all went out to supper at a buffet, the other two nights supper was planned by the four sisters who live closest. Those of us who live farther away brought various breakfast and snack items. Lunches were “fend for yourself” since most of us left the cabins to sight-see during the day and returned for supper and visiting in the evenings. It was a lot of fun and worked well! (btw, this year would have been my grandparents 60th anniversary and my great-grandparents 100th anniversary ... how cool!)
guess when I was listing the family members, I put “grandma” meaning my grandma (my mom’s mom), her 8 children, 11 grandkids (my generation), and 6 great-grands ... and I forgot about the 4 grandkid’s spouses. all-in-all, we were only missing 2 grandkids and one grandkid-spouse.
We’ve done a family vacation every summer for more than 13 years with my siblings and my parents. Some years an aunt or uncle or two, some cousins, and some cousins’ kids are also able to join us for part of it. When we started, it was only 10 of us as my parents had only 2 grandchildren. Now there are 11 aged 15 down to 3. It’s gotten easier over the years because we’ve developed patterns.
But lessons learned:
• If it’s not too late, having each family take at least one dinner as their responsibility helps. Some dinners planned jointly—like hot dogs and burgers for the busiest evenings fill in the gaps. But make sure whoever plans it, plans something they have time for! If someone’s planned something that needs long prep and they’re out on the boat—it makes it hard.
• In addition to the planned dinners, have some easy kid-favorites available for quick fixing. There are always some little (and not so little) kids who may need to eat before the main dinner is ready.
• Expect some minor differences that arise in different parenting styles or house rules. So flexibility and “vacation” mindset help a lot! That’s more an issue of parents of younger children, but still something to keep in mind.
Relax, have fun and go with the flow!
I meant now there are 11 grandchildren. We usually have about 19 people most of the time. Last year, we had special visits from far away cousins and visiting friends and had 31 people at different times during the week.
We gather at my parents house on a lake.
Every thanksgiving my entire dads side of the family get together. This year we are going to Wisconsin dells resorts. It is always so great to see everyone. Everyone usually puts money in for food and every night a different part of the family cooks dinner, me and my husband will cook one night then my cousin and his wife will cook the next night. It works out well for us. I can’t wait for November now. Thanks for sharing!
I’m pretty sure that whole week will be very happy and full of fun! What more you could ask if you have your lovely family members around you? I guess, there is none.
To make the occasion more special, why don’t you set up a romantic date for your mom and dad? They will surely like it! A magical moments just the two of them (but of course, you and your company can secretly watch them). I’m very excited for your trip! Give the most of it! ENJOY!!
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