If we were to compile a "hot and not"-style list for the 2012 baseball season, I suspect that eephus pitches would rank firmly in the former camp. Vicente Padilla has thrown it several times this season while Zack Greinke and Randy Wolf staged a battle to see who could deliver the slowest pitch when both were members of the Milwaukee Brewers.

Although Greinke has moved on to the Angels (and was getting ready to get beat up by Oakland on Wednesday), Wolf is continuing to wield the pitch. Check out what he threw to Cincinnati's  Brandon Phillips in the sixth inning of Milwaukee's 3-2 win over the Reds.

The pitch wasn't the slowest of the season — Padilla has thrown a few offerings that ended up in the 40s — but it's good enough for Wolf to take the lead in his battle with Greinke. And though it also didn't go for a strike or fit the exact description of an eephus pitch — it was really more of a slower-than-slow curve ball — ol' Rip Sewell has to be smiling somewhere. Seeing a

(Getty Images)He turned 20 years old just a month ago, his primary position of shortstop seems to be blocked by another player and he wasn't exactly dominating at Double-A. But to heck with all that, say the Baltimore Orioles.

Welcome to the major leagues, Manny Machado!

The O's announced late on Wednesday that they are promoting Machado, the third overall draft pick in 2010, when the Nationals took Bryce Harper first. Machado has played 219 games in the minors, and only 109 above Single-A. He was batting .266/.352/.438 with 11 homers, 26 doubles, five triples, 48 walks and 13 stolen bases for Bowie of the Eastern League. Those are good numbers — especially for someone who was just 19 years old until July 6 — and are a good indicator of future big-league success. He will be the eighth player drafted in the first round in '10 to make the majors, but he's the first high schooler from that crop to make that jump. (Remember that Harper had one year of junior college under his belt.)

But bringing him up now? With seven weeks left in the season, when the Orioles are in a playoff race and needing a boost? Do the O's expect a Harper- or Mike Trout-level performance out of Machado?

vogelsong89The Juice is going strong in its fifth season of fun! Stop by each weekday for an ample serving of news from the action, plus great photos, stats and video highlights.

V is for Victory ... and Vogelsong: He's probably not getting as much national attention as he was during his incredible breakout 2011 season, but San Francisco Giants pitcher Ryan Vogelsong is actually putting together a better season in 2012. The 35-year-old right-hander's latest triumph came via a 15-0 thrashing of the St. Louis Cardinals on Wednesday with Vogelsong contributing seven innings of three-hit ball at Busch Stadium. It was good enough for Vogelsong's league-leading 19th quality start and moved his record to 10-5 with a NL-leading 2.27 ERA. Vogelsong was 13-7 with a 2.71 ERA a year ago.

As for the offense, the Giants' bats got their work done with Marco Scutaro contributing a ninth-inning grand slam and seven RBIs, which was San Francisco's highest total since Jeff Kent plated seven runs back in 2001. It was the worst shutout loss for a defending World Series champion since the 1926 Pirates lost a game 16-0.

Eric Thames must have lightning in his feet. Thames, an outfielder for the Seattle Mariners, literally made sparks fly at Camden Yards in the third inning Wednesday night when his cleats touched a garage fence in foul territory down the right-field line. Thames didn't seem to notice the St. Elmo's Fire started with his shoes, because the light show was over almost as quickly as it started. He was chasing a fly ball by Chris Davis, but could not reach it before it hit the ground.

The Orioles don't store anything flammable behind that garage door, do they? Earl Weaver didn't manage at Camden Yards, so a secret stash of 10,000 cigarette cartons isn't likely. And neither is nitrate-rich fertilizer for his legendary tomato plants — though it looks like a good spot for the Camden grounds crew to keep supplies. Boog Powell's barbecue sauce is usually stable, even in the hot and humid Maryland summers, in case there are any drums of it in storage.

Let's check out Thames' shoes for any clues.

(Getty Images)It's become somewhat of a baseball cliché to say that the best deadline move a team can make is to get a certain player (or players) back from the disabled list. No prospects are lost, payroll does not increase and a boost from the player who was filling in is almost guaranteed.

Evan Longoria and the Tampa Bay Rays would  certainly seem to fit that description with the third baseman making a return on Tuesday after missing 85 games with a partially torn left hamstring. Longoria and his manager Joe Maddon, however, don't want to embrace that storyline just yet and their hesitation is understandable. While Longoria did go 1-for-3 with a sac fly in Tuesday's 4-1 win over Toronto, no one is willing to place a 100 percent healthy sticker on him. The plan is for Longoria to serve as the team's designated hitter for the time being and Maddon isn't even sure how many games Longoria can play before needing a day off to heal. (Maddon says three, but Longoria believes it can be more.)

From the Tampa Bay Times:

Cleveland's lengthy local nightmare finally came to an end on Wednesday afternoon with the Indians snapping an 11-game losing skid with a 6-2 win over the Minnesota Twins. Justin Masterson finally stepped up and assumed the role of stopper, pitching seven innings of two-run ball while Shin-Soo Choo went 4-for-4 with two RBI at the plate. The victory allowed the Tribe to avoid being paired with the 1931 team for the longest losing streak in club history.

So, party tonight at Panini's, right? Well, maybe not. It's going to take a lot more than just one Tsuyoshi Nishioka error-aided victory over the Twins to fumigate what Indians just saw. Over the last fortnight-plus, the Indians were outscored by the opposition by a whopping score of 95-36. They also lost seven games on first-place Chicago, had a mocking parody of one of the team's commercials go viral (above) and forced the Cleveland Plain Dealer to run an archived account of the 1931 team from a late sportswriter named Gordon Cobbledick.

You couldn't possibly make any of this up. Here's Cobbledick on that '31 team:

(Getty)

With the current occupant of the White House also being a fervent supporter of the Chicago White Sox (no matter what it said on Facebook recently), it makes sense that Republican candidate Mitt Romney would seek the sprawling Chicago Cubs vote. To that end, Romney visited Harry Caray's restaurant Tuesday to raise campaign funds and to rub, eh, shoulders with the inspiration for the business, Hall of Fame broadcaster Harry Caray.

Or at least Harry's bust.

Will the visit bring Romney good luck come November? While the Cubs are still seeking their first World Series victory since 1908, Caray did work for the St. Louis Cardinals back in the 1960s when they won two championships. So, there's no case for a "Harry curse."

(AP, BLS Illustration)

St. Louis Cardinals manager Mike Matheny followed the strange green light with his eyes, scanning the stands at Busch Stadium before spotting a teenage boy inside a suite along the first base line. The fan was laughing, but Matheny wasn't. He made eye contact and mouthed "I see you" to the boy, who responded with more laughing and by pointing a laser above the manager's head.

As security approached the suite, the fan and some of his friends fled but were stopped before exiting the stadium. Officers also saw one of the boys throw an object into the trash and later found a laser pointer.

Not too bright, kid.

Via the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, that was the subplot Monday night during the Cardinals-Giants game, which was delayed briefly in the bottom of the seventh because of the boy's shenanigans. He also had pointed his laser at Giants pitcher Shane Loux, but Cardinals slugger Matt Holliday and umpire Marvin Hudson spotted the light before play continued. Nobody was hurt, but it was still a dangerous prank. Laser pointers can be blinding, and then you add swinging bats, along with baseballs traveling at 90-plus mph into the mix and it doesn't get safer.

This is not what Dustin Pedroia of the Red Sox means when he refers to the "Laser Show."