Dark Souls online: is it safe to go back?

When From Software announced the Dark Souls Artorias of The Abyss DLC, I was glad of the excuse to delve back into one of my favourite co-op games ever. Exploring the decrepit world of Lordran was always more fun with a companion, or as us Dark Souls veterans prefer to call them, "human shields". But a question lingered in the back of my mind - what if I've left it too long?

As time goes on, the game's labyrinthine online worlds are becoming overrun by hardcore PvP fans - amoral invaders who think nothing of slaying a dozen fellow adventurers before breakfast. When the DLC is released in August, will I be punished for daring to download it? To put my mind at ease, I decided to conduct a little test run.

Creating a Monster

Upon starting a new game, I began formulating my master plan to tackle anything Dark Souls' online community could throw at me. I chose the hunter class, an agile, bow-wielding character, to support my incredibly sound tactic for dealing with higher-level players - RUN AWAY FROM HIGHER-LEVEL PLAYERS. I made my hunter's face as hideous as possible - it wasn't that hard - and gave him the threatening name 'Zanzibar'. With everything set, I launched Zanzibar into the game.

First Contact

I sped through the tutorial sections, anxious to meet my first co-op buddy. On my arrival at the Undead Burg, a group of angry ghouls clambered over each other to welcome me back, but no summon signs were visible. Disappointed, I rushed ahead to gather some souls, and was promptly impaled by a spearman.

Once I had respawned and regained my humanity, I sauntered off and stabbed a few things, then checked the nearest bonfire for signs: nothing. If the mountains won't come to Zanzibar...

Grabbing a Cracked Red Eye Orb (the item used for invading other players) I threw myself into the void/a loading screen, and materialised on the other end as a very scary, very ugly phantom of death. I spotted the other player, and ran at him shouting, "Avast, I'm here for ye souls! Arrrrrrr!" He obviously managed to resist the paralysing effects of my terrifying visage, because as I let off a volley of arrows, he gracefully rolled out of the way, took out a crossbow and fired a bolt the size of my leg, into my leg. The second went through my neck.

Following in his Footsteps

Thinking perhaps I was a tad unprepared for - and absolutely terrified of - the more advanced world of Dark Souls PvP, I decided to focus on building Zanzibar into a crossbow bolt-dodging dealer of death, all the while keeping an eye out for a bow that was capable of more than flicking matchsticks at the enemy. After collecting souls in the same area for almost an hour, I was about to try my luck with the Taurus Demon when a little white summon symbol appeared on the ground.

Squealing with delight, I pounced upon it. After a few seconds of silence, the medieval equivalent of Rambo rose out of the ground. As is the custom in Dark Souls online play, I bowed to my new companion. He ignored me and sprinted round the corner. That was the last time I saw medieval Rambo, but he did manage to kill everything in the area during his short time in my game. I've no idea what happened to the man. Perhaps he tripped and fell on his own sword, or spontaneously combusted.

Perhaps it was for the best. Happy as I was for more able companions to do the heavy lifting, sitting back and watching somebody else play the game for me was not good for my or Zanzibar's self esteem. Feeling rather let down by the online experience so far, I took on the Taurus Demon solo and died only five times before he conceded to my mastery of the bow and matchstick.