Gaming's most grotesque characters

I don't mind Lara Croft. I mean, she's alright. But a woman born with the inherited benefits of the big boob gene and a massive family fortune just doesn't feel worthy of hero-worship. Just because she got bored and was rich enough to fly to Peru and slam her torso against a few tombs, doesn't make her cool.

I've always been drawn to the grotesques: the nurse in Romeo & Juliet, and when I'm not pretending to be cultured and namedropping plays I was forced to study at school, the Queen's nanny in Blackadder II. An important point here is that I don't mean grotesque as a synonym for ugly, because they're not. I mean extreme and unsubtle characters who stand out as a living spectator sport. I loves 'em, and here are some of 'em.

Ellie

Borderlands 2

We haven't seen Ellie in action, yet. But look at that. She's magnificent. A formidable and shrewd woman who couldn't give a shit what you think about her size. She's perfectly adapted to the Pandoran environment, by virtue of the fact that she is capable of extreme and crunchy violence.

Amazingly, someone on the VG247 comments thread simply responded with "pre-order cancelled". In my head, this read as "I am perpetually masturbating, and anything that hinders that process is not welcome in my life".The very first commenter on PC Gamer commented "I'd ask her to make me a sandwich, but she probably ate them all". Congratulations! By combining a fat and sexist cliché, you are everything that is easy and weak in the world. I hope one day that you meet Ellie, say it to her face, and get a wrench to your moron balls.