Skyrim's Dawnguard DLC pack left us in a terrible existential quandary. There are two storylines to choose from, vampiric or anti-vampiric, but OXM's writers only have access to one decision-making brain apiece. How on earth would we deliver a comprehensive assessment without tying one man down for an unconscionable 20 hours? The answer was as elegant as it is screamingly obvious - have two people play the game back to back.
The Dread Testimony of Edwin von Thirlwell
Skyrim's Dawnguard expansion is missing a critical line of dialogue. Let's call it the Proportional Response. It goes something like this: "You never studied biology at Vampire School, did you, Lord Harkon? Yes, the sun's a pain in the fangs, but killing it off with a handful of Magical Endgame McGuffin seems a bit of an extreme solution to the "problem" of a modest stat cut when we travel around in daylight. Have you taken the ecological consequences into account? Can't have agriculture without photosynthesis, and without agriculture, there won't be any mortals to feed on. Look at the bigger picture."
Besides a counter-productive hatred of the sun, vampires are typically characterised by ineffable boredom: the result of untold centuries spent watching people commit the same old mistakes over and over, such as buying Elder Scrolls games on release day before they've patched out the major glitches. Boredom certainly sums up the experience of being a Vampire Lord, Dawnguard's headline new feature - boredom punctured by glistening spikes of aggravation.
It's a simple problem of power: once you strip off your skin and reveal your true self, you're all but unkillable. I went from being a highly confused level 30 Archmage, caught between magical schools like a sheep in wire, to a titanium-skinned flesh-copter of doom. Vampire Lords get access to Blood Magic while they're airborne, the entry-level manifestation of which is a life-absorbing area effect attack capable of draining groups to husks in seconds.
On your left hand, meanwhile, you've got an array of Necromantic abilities like Vampiric Grip, which allows you to Force Lift (shhh, don't tell LucasArts) some of the expansion's toughest foes and throw them into walls. Run out of magicka? Never fear, pet. Just click the left stick to descend to the ground and whale on mortals, combine harvester style. Honestly, you can't lose. I dare you to try.
29 comments so far...
EdDeRs1 on 29 Jun '12 said:
oh dear, oh dear oh dear oh dear. im still getting it by the way
are you guys shure your not being overly critical? after all a level 30 Archmage can blast just about anything into dust anyway
CunningSmile on 29 Jun '12 said:
What about the werewolves?!?!
STE MO on 29 Jun '12 said:
This score has vindicated my decision not to get it yet, being as I don't have time to play Skyrim at the moment. I will get it but only when it gets it's price cut in a sale. Only because Minecraft is taking over the Xbox
i want my life back Minecraft you hear me, give it back
GHOSTY05 on 29 Jun '12 said:
I agree with most of that.
The vampire lord is good, but its annoying when you cant walk through a door, cannot open chests or search bodies and it takes ages to transform from human to lord all the time.
They need to fix these issues as soon as possible.
Whenever i can i ditch my follower as they steal all my XP and all my kills.
I feel that this should have been 1200 MS points and not 1600, it does not feel like a worthy enough add on.
It feels like they have made the Vampire Lord a chore, it does not feel as fun as it should be, its just to clunky for many areas!
OXM MightySeven on 29 Jun '12 said:
There's a skill tree added for them, as per the Game Jam video, but they're not a fundamental part of the plot like vampirism is.
Bezza89 on 29 Jun '12 said:
I dunno, a ten hour campaign as well as loads of new additions to the game in general, is £14 really expensive? Considering say cod is barely 6 hours in length, and other add-ons like deus exs missing link were around 4 at £10 and that being standalone with no effect to the main game... does seem a little harsh to say expensive, especially considering how much map packs are apparently 'worth'; 5 maps for £10 is a bargain, but 10 hours of new content and plenty more additions to encourage a replay of the entire game for an extra £4 is outrageous!!
I do agree with the score and other points made about how lacklustre the vamp lord is and not being able to walk through doors, but expensive? Come on now, this is a bargain really.
msbhvn on 29 Jun '12 said:
OXM have always been harsh on DLC, ME2 Arrival got 4/10 for example. ME3 From Ashes got the same, but that was deserved. The cost of DLC is spiralling while the amount of content in it seems to decrease, so maybe it should be judged harshly.
Dawnguard maybe should have been 1200MSP, but when stuff like Missing Link was that price and had way less content, Bethesda may have thought 1600MSP was justified.
Bezza89 on 29 Jun '12 said:
As grummy said Fallouts dlc was 800 for 4-5 hours, shivering isles was 2400 for around 20 hours, more probably - this is in between and priced so, it may be a bit average as a dlc but I think it's priced well, and that shouldn't put people off getting it - the other bits should.
Here's for harshness on dlc, especially map packs - which never seems to happen.
Wadium_Arcadium on 29 Jun '12 said:
Glad I didn't impulse buy it, I'm in no rush to return to Skyrim at the moment anyway.
I'll still probably get it when/if it gets reduced.
Decent_Jam on 29 Jun '12 said:
It's mostly boring and it still got 7? I take it that's mostly down to the general Skyrim-ness?
Still need to pick up the main game (when it's finished).
msbhvn on 29 Jun '12 said:
Skyrim's been pretty stable since patch 1.3, but you wouldn't know that, would you?
Grummy on 29 Jun '12 said:
That's the general feeling rocking about the old intrawebs. Reviewing it on its own merits, it is a mixed bag, but it still carries that same intangible level of awesome that pervades through every part of Skyrim which makes it still enjoyable. Ultimately, plenty of reviews seem to agree that it's just more Skyrim, not a expansion that adds or changes anything significant enough to make it a must buy.
comabob on 29 Jun '12 said:
The whole idea of a vampire based expansion felt meh to me to begin with and at 1600points its outta my "willing to pay for DLC" price range.
Alpha Blue on 30 Jun '12 said:
I am not getting this DLC because I wanted something like shivering isles that really adds something substantial and different
oOhAzZa93Oo on 30 Jun '12 said:
I think the whole rating system of video games is a bit skewed. People seem to think that anything below an 8 means a game is bad or not at all worth getting. Think of it: 5/10 in normal terms is average. Anything above that is good.
It seems strange to think they gave it a 7 though, considering all they seemed to do was dwell on negatives. I swear I heard something about werewolves in dawn-guard, was that just rumor?
Amerterasu16 on 30 Jun '12 said:
whelly1985 on 30 Jun '12 said:
I would give it an 8-9 but then again im biased towards this game. Off topic Has anyone come across a legendary dragon yet? People online seem to think that they only spawn after your over level 70?! If so that sucks balls, just wondering if anyone can confirm or deny this, cheers
lazercut123 on 30 Jun '12 said:
I loved the main game but I think that dawnguard was (I'm gonna regret this) disappointing, I was expecting something, I dunno... more.
My opinions are not to say that it is bad, it was better than some full games I have, and Theyre £40, but Bethesda is the grand daddy of RPGs, they should make a dlc that lasts 500 hundred hours and takes you to land of the exploding elves. What we actually got was a disappointing final battle where lord no-sun harkon kept teleporting whenever he was about to die.
Bethesda, you are officially below valve on my best game company list.
GHOSTY05 on 1 Jul '12 said:
Yes and thanks to you, i now know how the dawnguard DLC will end. cheers!
lazercut123 on 1 Jul '12 said:
sorry, didn't mean to spoil it
CunningSmile on 2 Jul '12 said:
My only disappointment is the flight. In the pre-release we were told the Vampire Lord could fly and I thought great because I really miss the ability from earlier ES games. What we actually get is the ability to hover 3 inches off the ground. That's not going to help me cross mountains is it?
GHOSTY05 on 2 Jul '12 said:
Its pointless i agree, i feel weaker when hovering than i do when i'm running along the ground!
I dont expect to fly like a dragon, but being able to fly at least 10ft off the ground would have been better.
lazercut123 on 2 Jul '12 said:
Yeah ,but think of the bugs it will create
PS3Tard on 3 Jul '12 said:
Lets not forget though that "Arrival" was awful.
GHOSTY05 on 4 Jul '12 said:
And?? you could say that about anything?, if it were up to people like you then nothing would be created, we would not have invented the toaster because of all the bugs that could have stopped it working!
CunningSmile on 4 Jul '12 said:
I'm not asking for anything amazing, just the ability to get ten feet off the ground so mountains are easier to climb, that won't create too many bugs. They always had levitation spells before so it's obviously within their programming skills
madhaza12 on 5 Jul '12 said:
Will still get it
old man smithers on 10 Jul '12 said:
I remember an article sometime ago from the team that made Skyrim. They were asked what they would like to see in the game, amongst the list of was a flying vampire
. That obviously ticked the correct boxes because here it is in all it's glory. I'm not sure about the price though. 
SidTheSloth on 10 Jul '12 said:
Dude, it's possible the dawnguard DLC is a smidge overpriced, i've yet to play through it yet, but considering the sheer amount of game you get with your original purchase can you really begrudge Bethesda an extra few £'s? If I'd paid £100 for skyrim alone i'd still feel i'd gotten value for money from it so even though i could care less about vampires really i bought dawnguard almost as a 'thank you' to one of the seemingly few developers who will put the time and effort in to craft something truly outstanding and then not insult us with barrages of shite DLC weapon packs etc.