Getting Back Into The Dating Game

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reader's question

Hi Doc,

I am going through a nasty divorce, and you wouldn't believe how betrayed and discouraged I've felt for the past six months. But I've started to feel a bit more confident and optimistic lately, and I think I'm about ready to get out there and start dating again. Perhaps it would be good for me at this point. Who knows? I might even meet a real sweetheart.

But since I've been married for 13 years and remained completely faithful the entire time, I have absolutely no clue as to how to date.

My single buddies tell me all kinds of horror stories about the singles scene, which are unbelievably discouraging. Are they exaggerating or is it really a jungle out there?

I am 33 years old and make serious money. Where do I start?

Francesco -- who is out of practice

doc love's answer

Hi Francesco,

Sorry that you've had to go through what you've been going through with your divorce. In the last 30 years, all the psychotherapists and relationship experts haven't been able to make a dent in the divorce statistics. (50% of all marriages end in divorce, and two thirds of the time, it's the woman who files first.)

Regardless of the statistics, keep in mind Francesco, that divorce is hard on the woman too. I think we all need to have compassion for poor Nicole Kidman. Remember, she will miss getting half of Tom Cruise's $250 million. Luckily, he filed 3 days before the 10th year of their marriage (California recognizes 10 years as a long-term marriage -- if each is to get half of the joint property.)

Francesco, the truth is: It is a jungle out there. And that jungle is inhabited by an infinite number of feminine creatures who will think nothing of misleading you, leading you on, stroking you, and using you. Your buddies don't have to exaggerate to frighten you; the truth is disturbing enough. But fear not, Francesco, because The System [a body of principles that guarantee your success with a woman that you love] that I'll use to coach you will be your guiding beacon through the darkness and deception.

exercising the scene

Let's start with the basics. First of all, take the time to get into good physical shape. If you don't belong to a gym, join one; ideally an upscale athletic club that has a high percentage of women in their twenties and thirties as members. Start working out regularly, even if you'd rather not. You'll look more attractive and you'll feel more confident. (When you're radiating vitality and fitness, you'll magnetize more babes.)

Once you're there, pumping up, don't stare at the girls in their tight leotards and don't come onto them with a lot of questions or comments. Just smile and say "hi" to the ones that smile at you, and every so often, casually ask one a question about her workout if it feels easy to do (don't push). If she has any interest, she'll make you feel comfortable and will ask you questions. That way, picking up women at the gym will be sweatless.

It's all about looking good... Next Page >>

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