Is She A Friend Or More?

"Then she said she didn’t see herself in a relationship because her job took up all her time. Big red flag."

This week, Doc Love, author of "The System," helps a reader figure out if she's just a friend or more.

Hey Doc,

First of all, thank you for your words of wisdom. "The System" has completely changed my life and perspective on how to deal with women.

I met this perfect-10 model, Soraya, about a year ago, and we got along great. She invited me to dinner and we went to the movies for my birthday and met for lunch a couple of times, but I thought she was just being friendly so I kept my cool and just saw her every once in a while. Then we lost communication for several months, but she texted me two months ago and asked me out for lunch to “catch up.” I kept it light, made Soraya laugh constantly and made lots of eye contact. I was nervous, but I kept my self-control. I offered to pay for lunch, and she accepted (she never used to let me pay for anything). She texted me that night and told me she had a good time and asked me out to dinner, saying that it was her treat. As always, we had fun. When I took her home, she told me about her best friend’s birthday party and said she wanted me to go with her. That night she paid for my tab too.

Anyway, the last time we had dinner, Soraya got a call from one of her friends. When she hung up, she told me her friend was having relationship problems and was seeking her advice. Then she began telling me how happy she is being single because she was avoiding all that baggage and trouble. Then she said she didn’t see herself in a relationship because her job took up all her time. Big red flag. I told her to date someone as busy as her and changed the subject.

That night I texted her the following: “I know that nothing will happen between us, so it’s good to know we can be good friends.” She replied, “Did I say that?” I called her, and she apologized and told me not to take it personally. She said she was interested in and attracted to me, so we should “go with the flow” and see what happens. Then she told me we should have another date but didn’t specify a time.

I called her to set a date, but we couldn’t seem to get together. I offered and she counter-offered but nothing worked. Doc, I don’t know where I stand with Soraya. What should I do now? Help!

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