Baby Is Cause For Celebration Despite Parents' Bad Behavior

LW#3 - YOU are to blame for RESPONDING when he calls you with "hey" or "umm." If you IGNORE him until he calls you by name or by some term of endearment, you'll see a change. Until then you need to figure out why your self-esteem is so low that you would reply to those things.

Abby failed to mention that in many states it's actually illigal to leave your children with a babysitter who's under the age of 16. I think 12 is way too young to know what to do if something were to go wrong with say, an infant, for example. Most 12 year olds are still playing with toys themselves. Sorry, but that's a little too young to know what to do all alone with younger kids if there was an emergency of some kind, or even to be mature enough to be the, " adult," voice of reason when smaller children want to do something reckless.

The child does not inherit the sins of the father. Those who believe that the child does needs slapped up side the head for being an idiot. Everyone deserves a fair chance in life. Penalizing an innocent child for an adult's decision is not only seflish, it's rude, and it creates unnecessary hatred.

I applaud the 12 year olds for wanting to make their own money. They have good parents.

As for the lady who has never been addressed by her name or an endearing name, WHY did you even keep him around in the first place? I would have dropped him like a disease along time ago. If he can't use your name or use an endearing name in reference to you to your face, I can only wonder what he calls you behind your back.

I started babysitting at 12 (not constantly or anything, but once every other month or two). My sister started at 10, but that being a little young, we would get hired as a pair: me, the responsible one that was likely to say no and make kids go to bed at their bedtime and my sister, the one who actually enjoyed kids and played with them and was the one that the kids preferred. We never had any issues. It was always nearby neighbors and our parents were always home that same night if an emergency had come up, though I did always think that the neighbors that let us watch their baby for a couple hours was pushing it (we might have been 14 and 11 by then), but my sister loved babies and changing diapers and I was more than content to be the one to just make sure everyone stayed safe and the house didn't burn down.

LW #1, You cannot choose your family, but you can choose how you respond to their bone-headedness. Consider that you now have a new nephew or niece and that your mother now has a new grandchild. Equally as much a nephew or niece and grandchild as all the others. So be nice to the parents if for no other reason than for the sake of that child and your future relationship with it and its parents. Congratulate them. Accept the fact that the new mother and her child will now be part of the equation. Continue to be kind and loving to his first wife and child.

LW2, I think it's sweet of you to be thinking of earning your own money and I echo Abby's advice to put some amount of whatever you earn into a savings account. You can take a short baby sitting course which both gets you a certificate, and also educates you about hand to handle emergency situations and other things you might not otherwise think about. Good luck to you and your friends!

Why would you congratulate your brother on his new baby? How much of the work did he really do?
But Abby is right, don't punish the kid because your brother is a jerk. This means that you'll have to let that go eventually because the child will start to pick up on your animosity in time.

LW4: Really?

#2- Because of the hot weather this summer, consider opening up a a lemonade stand. At $5 a cup, you should soon have enough $$$ to buy the New Yorker Magazine and Vogue. Just be sure to use fresh lemons, not frozen concentrate. Quality, ladies. Quality.

LW #2; for real this time; Sure you are old enough. Young women used to marry at 12. In some places in the world, they still do. That means you are old enough to have a kid and therefore old enough to take care of one. And if babysitting does not float your boat, try pet sitting instead.

LW1: Do you not have a mind of your own? Do whatever you want to do. Nobody else can force you into feeling any one way unless you allow it. Grow a spine!

I bet nobody would believe that when I read these letters, I had Pandora on the Kris Kristofferson channel because I thought of him recently, and the David Allen Coe song "You Never Even Called Me By My Name" was playing.

You don't have to call me darlin', darlin'.
You never even called me by my name.

I swear it's true.

Dear I have a Name, Start calling your husband by another name...PITA sounds a bit like Peter. If he asks why you're calling him that, say you're trying to get the attention of someone who know your name.

LW#4 - DERP!

#1- Considering your brother's randy nature, send him a gift card to Hooter's.

17 years and now your complaining.

LW #2, That is sad. But is Abby sure that your husband is trying to punish you for all 17 years? While possible, that seems extreme. Unless it is to punish you for being gullible enough to marrying him.

Because you have remained with him, I am going to presume that other than that flaw he has a lot of other good qualities. In which case, Abby missed the obvious thing. You need to get yourself to counseling to deal with the why of you putting up with it and maybe joint marital counseling to deal with helping him learn how to treat you properly.

I have never understood the lint roller thing. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see how someone could possibly get one of those things far enough into their belly button to do any good.

lw4- If you remove the used sheet, then you've exposed the next sheet. Since that is sticky, it will pick up stuff until it is also...dirty...wasting it.

I would not LEAVE my child with a 12 year old. A 12 year old is however old enough to become a "mother's helper." It's a phrase you rarely hear anymore. A "mother's helper" is someone who watches the child while the mother is still home. So the mother can soak in the bathtub with a book, close the office door and finish some work, or have lunch in another room, with another adult, keep them busy while she gardens, ect. So a child too young to babysit completely on their own is a very effective tool for helping a mother out, and giving her some free time. And yet the mother is there to handle any emergency that might pop up, from a fire, allergic reaction, stranger at the door, choking baby, ect. It's a great way for a young girl to start babysitting, and yet not have the entire responsibility for the very life of the infant thrust upon them.