29Jul/1120

Lanes

by Berg

Image text: Each quarter of the lanes from left to right correspond loosely to breast cancer stages one through four (at diagnosis).

In the comments on wednesday it was pointed out that xkcd is a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language- humor isn't necessarily guaranteed. Today's comic, depressing as fuck and just as poignant, underscores that point.

The comic is built around a dialogue between two friends about cancer, presumably cancer that cueball number two's (hereafter Twoball) wife has been diagnosed with. The conversation itself is about as straightforward as a conversation can be. It details the maturation of Twoball's understanding of cancer diagnoses, knowledge which we can presume he has gained, reluctantly, by watching a loved one suffer. It is probably safe to say that either Randall or somebody close to him is currently in Twoball's position, and we, the readers, are the beneficiaries of this new understanding of cancer diagnoses without having to watch somebody close to us suffer. So... thanks, I guess?

The comic's title, Lanes, comes from the two panels which illustrate either end of the spectrum of Twoball's mental representation of how cancer treatment proceeds. In that there are many possible outcomes for cancer treatment, the image of a multi-lane freeway seems an apt metaphor to represent this understanding visually.

In the first freeway diagram, there are several paths, but the system is very simple, and easy to take in. Only a few lanes lead off into the oblivion which surrounds the freeway, a single offramp circles back from the path to survival to treatment, and survival is a visible endpoint.

In the second freeway diagram, however, things are much, much more complex, and much more bleak. Even six years out, survival isn't visible, and many lanes end in oblivion, sometimes not veering off for years after treatment. The image text informs us that this is meant to be loosely representative of breast cancer stages one through four, proceeding by quarters from left to right. It's a grim outlook, hence cueball number one's understated but completely fitting reaction to this plethora of new knowledge:

Fuck cancer.

Filed under: Death, Illness 20 Comments
18Jul/1124

Time Vulture

by Jeff

Image text: In a way, all vultures are Time Vultures; some just have more patience than others.

This comic is about a time vulture, which as far as I can tell is not a reference to anything, but something made up by Randall for the comic.  A Time Vulture as explained in the 3rd frame is a type of vulture that can live for millennia and wait long enough for someone to die of natural causes.  A vulture is a type of animal that preys on other animals (and humans) who are sick or dying.

Because the Time Vulture lives for so long, in its point of view, everyone says "But, I'm not about to die" right before they do.  In our point of view it could be several years, but since the Time Vulture lives for so long, years are mere moments in its view.

In the image text, since all vultures wait for their prey to die, all vultures are Time Vultures, but time vultures are able to wait decades for their prey, whereas regular vultures do not have that kind of time.

Filed under: Death, Nature 24 Comments
17Nov/1019

Five-Minute Comics: Part 2

by Jeff

Image text: Dear Wiccan readers: I understand modern Wiccans are not usually all about the curses and hexes. But Darth Vader was recently converted from Episcopalianism and he's still figuring it all out.

Top Comic - This is a parody of the frequent conspiracy theories that have come about since the events of September 11, 2001.  The use of the "grassy knoll" is a reference to the conspiracy theories surrounding the assassination of John F. Kennedy, a US President on Friday, November 22, 1963, in Dallas, Texas.  Some people say they saw another or different shooter over on a "grassy knoll" by the road where JFK was shot.

Middle Left - Some people say that when women are pregnant, they have a certain glow about them, whether it is just their general happiness or something else.  In this case, the woman is really pregnant and then promptly gives birth.

Middle - In this comic, the character says "Cogito Ergo Cogito" instead of the traditional phrase "Cogito Ergo Sum".  The traditional phrase is Latin for I think therefore I am, which was said by René Descartes.  In this comic, the character is playing it safe by just saying I think therefore I think.

Middle Left - This comic is a pun on the phrase "Bail out!" When it is used by fighter pilots, it means for them to hit their ejector seats and parachute to safety.  In this comic, the pilots are using the phrase as would two people in a boat that is filling up with water.

Lower Middle - This is a joke on how in Star Wars they have lightsabers.  In this case, they created black-lightsabers which use black light bulbs.  Black lights just make every thing seem really eerie and you are able to see dust and dirt particles on everything.

Right - I think that one is pretty self explanatory and pretty gross.

Lower Middle Left - I'm not sure what is up with the sandwich making one, but it appears to be an inside joke somehow.

Bottom Left - This is a lawyer who is going to make a defense that will offend women and he prepared an opening statement incorrectly thinking there would be both men and women on the jury.  This comic is an extension of the stereotypical lawyer opening "Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury...".

Bottom Right - From the start this is a full quote from Star Wars in which Conan Antonio Motti rips Darth Vader's ancient religion, which in the movie is The Force. Vader proceeds to force choke Motti until Moff Tarkin tells him to stop. In this comic, Vader's ancient religion is of course Wiccan.

11Jun/1022

Phobia

by Jeff

Image text: Oh God, the tornado picked up snakes!

This is one of those xkcd's that's super emo. These are always a little awkward for me to read.

However, my interpretation of the second frame is that the black haired character is speaking in reference to relationships and dating and the like.  She keeps turning away potential suitors with her phrase.

I don't think she keeps saying that every year to keep from becoming a storm chaser.

What's your interpretation of this Friday's emo xkcd?  Who is emotional about what to whom?

5May/107

Cemetery

by Jeff

Image text: Three headstones down, I got a call from my mom and it went from bad to worse.

The character in the comic is talking on his hands free headset to the person on the other end of the phone call and everyone else in the comic thinks he is speaking directly to the dead person.  It appears the family to the right is gasping and the female is covering the child's eyes.

The talk of font makes it seem like the person on the phone is making a comment on the font on the gravestone.  Or an alternate interpretation is that the person on the phone is saying that the dead person died because they did not listen and used another font besides sans-serif.

Additionally, another place that is bad to use your hands-free headset? Anywhere.  Those things are annoying.

Filed under: Death, Phone 7 Comments
26Feb/103

Joshing

by Jeff

Image text: You'll be moved up from 49 of ~7 billion to 31 of ~7 billion.

Joshing means joking and the approximately 7 billion people is the population of the planet Earth.

Filed under: Death 3 Comments
8Jan/105

Admin Mourning

by Jeff

Image text: And every day it gets harder to fight the urge to su to the user and freak people out.

This is a play on words with "Ghost in the/a Shell".  Ghost in a shell is a concept from cyberpunk and especially the Japanese franchise by the name "Ghost in the Shell" that means when a human's brain and consciousness is inside a mechanical body.  Ghost is the person and shell is the mechanical exterior.

In this comic, the play on words is saying if a person dies, they leave a "ghost" of themselves still logged on a server. And of course zShell is a Unix login shell.  Which pulls the whole play on words together.

And the image text references "su to the user". Su is the Unix command to switch to another user from the command line.

Filed under: Death, Unix 5 Comments

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