11Apr/1238

Whites of Their Eyes

by Jeff

Image text: Don't fire until you see through the fragile facade to the human being within.

"Don't Fire Until You See The Whites of Their Eyes" is a famous order given (most famously) at the Battle of Bunker Hill during the American Revolution.  It is not clear who exactly gave the order and where it originated.  The Americans were low on ammunition and needed to save all of their bullets until the British were close enough that it would have the most effect.  That range was famously when you could see the whites of their eyes.

This comic takes that order and goes to some place very sexual, which has nothing to do with the battle.

Filed under: History, sex 38 Comments
6Apr/1227

RuBisCO

by Jeff

Image text: Bruce Schneier believes safewords are fundamentally insecure and recommends that you ask your partner to stop via public key signature.

This comic is about sex.  A safeword is something you use so that you can indicate to your partner that you want them to stop.  The chemists getting it on in the other room from Cueball and Megan are using that long word as their safe word.  RuBisCo is (per wikipedia, I am not a chemist) commonly known by the shorter name RuBisCO, is an enzyme involved in the first major step of carbon fixation, a process by which atmospheric carbon dioxide is converted by plants to energy-rich molecules such as glucose.

The image text references Bruce Schneier, who is an internationally known security expert.  Here's his blog. The image text is a joke on what Schneier usually says about some password schemes.  Public-key cryptography refers to a cryptographic system requiring two separate keys, one to lock or encrypt the plaintext, and one to unlock or decrypt the cyphertext. Neither key will do both functions. One of these keys is published or public and the other is kept private.

This joke in the image text works because of its absurdity because there is no reason to use a public key/private key system for your safe word.

Filed under: sex 27 Comments
9Mar/1290

Pickup Artist

by Jeff

Image text: Son, don't try to play 'make you feel bad' with the Michael Jordan of making you feel bad.

Black Hat makes a cameo!  In this comic, a character attempts to use new "Pickup Artist" tactics on a random girl in a bar.  His tactic is "negging", which is just as it is explained in the comic.  However, as the image text says, he attempts to use this tactic on a girl who is the "Michael Jordan" of making other people feel bad about themselves.  His "negging" pales in comparison to hers.

Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player ever to play in the NBA.  He played for the Chicago Bulls and the Washington Wizards.  His name is often used as a noun to notate that someone is the best in their field.

Also, a thousand times this: "Pickup artists are dehumanizing creeps who see relationships as adversarial and women as sex toys."

And this another thousand times: "Just talk to them like a fucking human being."

Don't be a douche, guys.

That is all.

Filed under: Black Hat, sex 90 Comments
9Jan/1224

AAAAAA

by Jeff

Image text: 'ARE YOU TURNED ON YET?' 'I DON'T THINK SO--ARE YOU?' 'MAYBE A LITTLE!' 'OK, FIVE MORE MINUTES.'

Ok, in this comic, Megan and Cueball find out that "this guy's mansion" has a rotating bed (in the last frame, which is a flashback).  So, they decide to build one and it appears to be going far too fast as both are holding on for dear life on each side of the bed.

The rotating bed is supposed to be a sexy device, but it appears from the comic that Cueball and Megan have made it rotate a little to fast to be appealing.  However, the image text maybe makes us think otherwise.

Filed under: Television, sex 24 Comments
28Nov/1128

Privacy

by Jeff

Image text: Eventual headline: 'University Researchers Create Life in Lab! Darkness, Faulty Condoms Blamed.'

Sorry this post was late, but I was still travelling back from Thanksgiving.  Thanks for your patience!

This comic is about a couple, let us call them "Cueball and Megan" attempting to find some privacy to "hook up", which is slang for engage in sexual activity.  Some people argue that "hook up" means to have sex, but I would argue it means any sort of sexual activity, although "to have sex" is still a subset of "hook up".  In the image text, it seems to indicate that sex was indeed assumed in the phrase "hook up".

In the second frame, the female roommate of Megan is currently in a raid, which is a phrase used in World of Warcraft and other Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games or MMORPGs.  A Raid is a large gathering of players that work together to defeat a difficult enemy.

The Rare book collection in the library (frame 3) is usually deserted, so it would be perfect for sexual activity, but instead a tour is going through the area instead.  It is unclear if the tour is visiting Nelson Mandela in the rare book section or Nelson Mandela is visiting the school and is getting a tour through the rare book section.  Is that a stick figure Nelson Mandela with the white hair?

Next they try an accelerator tunnel that is in use, a beaver lodge (pun on the word "beaver", which is slang for the vagina is I assume intended by Randall).  I'm not sure why the current understanding of physics rules out privacy in hyperspace.  Any of our awesomely helpful commentors know?

In the image text, it indicates that the two found privacy for sex in the lab, but inadvertently got Megan pregnant.  The image text is a pun on news titles about scientists who have created synthetic life in the lab.

Filed under: Biology, College, sex 28 Comments
19Aug/1119

Oversight

by Jeff

Image text: I felt so clever when I found a way to game the Fitocracy system by incorporating a set of easy but high-scoring activities into my regular schedule. Took me a bit to realize I'd been tricked into setting up a daily exercise routine.

Stick figures having sex!  Against a wall! Over a couch!  In some sort of high flying sex swing!  Fitocracy is a web site that turns workouts into a social game by awarding points, badges, levels and all sorts of other gamification.  However, according to this cartoon, Fitocracy does not consider sex to be an activity acceptable for its site, despite the high flying nature of Cueball and Megan's sexual workout.

Filed under: internet, sex 19 Comments
15Apr/1178

Craigslist Apartments

by Jeff

Image text: $1600 / 1386153BR 3BATH, MODERN SLIDING DOORS, GUEST ROOMS, GARBAGE DISPOSAL. FREE MANDATORY PARKING (ENFORCED). CONVENIENT TO ALDERAAN.

Lots of details here, so I may not get everything, please let me know in the comments if there is a reference I missed.

First and foremost, just like all Craigslist apartment postings, all of these posts are in all caps and some of the posts are re-posted several times, which is very annoying, but must work otherwise the agents would not do it.  Additionally, lots of posts use lots of tildas tildes, exclamation points or astericks as above to set their posts apart from others.

The square house door one must be a garage, I guess. EDIT - or just a regular square house.  The house is square not the door.  Don't know how I read it wrong.  Thanks Commenters.

Hammock style dwelling sounds like working as a oarsman on a Viking ship.

The place with the Klein stairs is possibly a reference to Klein geometry.

The trimmed carpet is obviously a sex posting, because Craigslist has taken down the obvious prostitution posts after getting a lot of heat about them.  So, this is a posting to get around those sort of rules.  "Trimmed Carpet" - I think you can figure that one out.  If you can't, I'll tell you when you are older.

The Minotaur house is a reference to the Labyrinth and Minotaur on Crete from ancient Greek mythology.  EDIT - Commenters have pointed me to the House of Leaves book as this reference instead of ancient Greek Mythology.  Thanks all!

The house with the 5 minute drive to historic Pripryat is a reference to the ghost town of Pripryat, which is near the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant in northern Ukraine.  Not a nice place to live to say the least.  EDIT - Commenters point out that this could be the nuclear facility itself... I think that makes sense.

The last one  on the list does not seem to be a direct scary movie reference, but a horor movie reference in general.

And last, but of course not least, the image text is a reference to Star Wars.  EDIT - I didn't complete my thought here, it is a reference to the Death Star in Star Wars.  Alderaan is the home planet of Princess Leia, which is obliterated by the Death Star.

Are there any I missed?  (Thanks for all your help in the comments.  Head to the comments for further information and discussion about all the entries)

Filed under: Color, Craigslist, sex 78 Comments
11Apr/1128

Rogers St.

by Jeff

Image text: 'We can also use middle names in place of first pet's names, but yours is something incomprehensible about dropping tables.'

This comic is a reference to the game of creating your porn star name by putting your pet's name as your first name and the street you grew up on as your last name. For example: Max (Dog's name) Pine (Street name).  In this comic, Randall would have named his cat "Mister" and had moved to "Rogers" Street and so his daughter's porn name would be "Mister Rogers", which is pretty high on the very unsexy name scale (if there was one) especially for a female actor.

In this way, Randall has prevented his daughter from getting into porn.

In the image text, he references the other way of creating a porn star name with your middle name and as your first name and the street still as your last name.  Additionally, the image text references comic 327 in which "Exploits of a Mom" puts SQL table instructions into their name so that it will mess with SQL tables at school.  In 327, the kids name contains '); DROP TABLE Students;-- and we are lead to believe the person in the comic above contains a similar command.

Here's a link to the location of Rogers Street, which is near Kendall Square in Cambridge, MA.

Filed under: Word Play, sex 28 Comments
23Feb/1130

Flying Cars

by Jeff

Image text: It's hard to fit in the backseat of my flying car with my android Realdoll when we're both wearing jetpacks.

In this comic, Cueball is complaining to Megan over the phone about the lack of flying cars even though it is the year 2011.  But, Megan counters that phone technology has taken off.  No pun intended.  I've always found it interesting that the consumer electronics field has changed dramatically over the past 10 years and cars still are roughly the same.

In the image text, the comic references Realdoll, which is known as "the world's finest lovedoll".  You can probably figure it out from there.

Filed under: Cars, iPhone, sex 30 Comments
9Feb/1115

Milk

by Jeff

Image text: It's not hard when you have the same thought like 40 or 50 percent of the time.

This xkcd is a little odd, but self-explanatory.

Filed under: science, sex 15 Comments

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