Jet Fuel
by Jeff
Image text: The 'controlled demoliton' theory was concocted by the government to distract us. '9/11 was an inside job' was an inside job!
This comic is a reference to the already debunked "9/11 Was An Inside Job" theory that the World Trade Center in New York City was blown up by a "controlled demolition". The guy with the weird hair only on the back of his head (balding?) uses the typical argument and Cueball one ups the craziness and of course the balding guy eats it up. The Chemtrails conspiracy theory is a completely different conspiracy theory which says that (exactly as Cueball does) the US Government puts chemicals and mind control agents in jets and airliners to subtlety have US citizens ingest the agents.
And the image text (despite the misspelling) is the naturally "double down" on a theory which says that the conspiracy theory itself was concocted by the government and was supposed to distract from the truth.
Unpickable
by Jeff
Image text: The safe is empty except for an unsolved 5x5 Rubik's cube.
This comic is a response to the widespread hacking and stealing of people's personal information from company's databases as of late. The companies like Sony amongst were supposed to protect the information, but instead they used flawed security and hackers were able to get in and obtain people's information. (Could be, but likely not, a much better explanation is below in "UPDATE".)
This comic is saying that the only way that you know that your information will be safe from hackers is to keep if offline and in an uncrackable safe.
I'm not sure what the image text means, but I'm sure there is something in there about geeks liking Rubik's cubes or that Randall's only valuable possession is a 5x5 Rubik's cube.
UPDATE: Or it could be a distraction for any geek/hacker that is able to get into the safe. All of the above is true, however, this comic says the hacker will be distracted trying to get into the safe and will ignore the shoebox containing all your valuables. (I blame my misinterpretation on the early morning.) Once in the safe, the geek/hacker will be even more distracted by the 5x5 Rubik's cube. (Thanks commentors!)
Five-Minute Comics: Part 2
by Jeff
Image text: Dear Wiccan readers: I understand modern Wiccans are not usually all about the curses and hexes. But Darth Vader was recently converted from Episcopalianism and he's still figuring it all out.
Top Comic - This is a parody of the frequent conspiracy theories that have come about since the events of September 11, 2001. The use of the "grassy knoll" is a reference to the conspiracy theories surrounding the assassination of John F. Kennedy, a US President on Friday, November 22, 1963, in Dallas, Texas. Some people say they saw another or different shooter over on a "grassy knoll" by the road where JFK was shot.
Middle Left - Some people say that when women are pregnant, they have a certain glow about them, whether it is just their general happiness or something else. In this case, the woman is really pregnant and then promptly gives birth.
Middle - In this comic, the character says "Cogito Ergo Cogito" instead of the traditional phrase "Cogito Ergo Sum". The traditional phrase is Latin for I think therefore I am, which was said by René Descartes. In this comic, the character is playing it safe by just saying I think therefore I think.
Middle Left - This comic is a pun on the phrase "Bail out!" When it is used by fighter pilots, it means for them to hit their ejector seats and parachute to safety. In this comic, the pilots are using the phrase as would two people in a boat that is filling up with water.
Lower Middle - This is a joke on how in Star Wars they have lightsabers. In this case, they created black-lightsabers which use black light bulbs. Black lights just make every thing seem really eerie and you are able to see dust and dirt particles on everything.
Right - I think that one is pretty self explanatory and pretty gross.
Lower Middle Left - I'm not sure what is up with the sandwich making one, but it appears to be an inside joke somehow.
Bottom Left - This is a lawyer who is going to make a defense that will offend women and he prepared an opening statement incorrectly thinking there would be both men and women on the jury. This comic is an extension of the stereotypical lawyer opening "Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury...".
Bottom Right - From the start this is a full quote from Star Wars in which Conan Antonio Motti rips Darth Vader's ancient religion, which in the movie is The Force. Vader proceeds to force choke Motti until Moff Tarkin tells him to stop. In this comic, Vader's ancient religion is of course Wiccan.
The Economic Argument
by Jeff
Image text: Not to be confused with 'making money selling this stuff to OTHER people who think it works', which corporate accountants and actuaries have zero problems with.
Ok, let's see if I can get this one right.
1) Some people are arguing that the crazy phenomenon on the left exist.
Remote viewing - the ability to see far away things by the use of paranormal activity.
Dowsing - a type of divination that is used to find water, metals or gems underground.
Auras - the reading of some persons aura which gives some indication of his or her ailment or health based on the color, shape and clarity.
Homeopathy - the practice of diluting medicine for increased effect. There was a previous xkcd that made fun of this theory as well.
Remote prayer - the practice of lots of people getting together to pray for a person far away.
Astrology - the act of reading the stars and planets to predict the future.
Taurot - the act of reading cards to predict the future.
Crystal Energy - this is based on the theory that crystals produced energy when compressed.
Curses and hexes and relativity are pretty straightfoward, so I'm going to skip those two.
Quantum Electrodynamics - describes how light and matter interact and is the first theory where full agreement between quantum mechanics and special relativity is achieved.
2) If all the things on the right actually do exist, then capitalism is not totally ruthless because they are not taking advantage of all these potential money-making opportunities.
3) Some people are making money selling the things on the left, but not major corporations in America and abroad except where the box on the right is checked.
This begs a question if all the phenomenon on the left do not exist, then is capitalism is ruthless with all the things on the left that do actually exist?
Semicontrolled Demolition
by Jeff
Image text: I believe the truth always lies halfway between the most extreme claims.
This comic is taking the idea of a compromise to its literal extreme.
9/11 Truthers are people that consider the conspiracy theories around the September 11th 2001 terrorist attack and they usually believe that the destruction of the World Trade Center in New York City was an inside job by the government.
So, this comic is a compromise between what the truthers believe and public knowledge of September 11th and since the comic takes the compromise to its extreme, in which both things happen.